16 - My Little Sisters Are This Cute

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:36] ---
    Kobato, you get it, okay?
    I can't leave dinner alone.
[00:39] ---
    Mm.
[00:39] ---
    If it's a newspaper salesman or something,
    you can just say "We don't want any."
[00:44] ---
    Mm.
[00:47] ---
    Kobato!
[00:48] ---
    Mm-mmm!
[00:52] ---
    We don't want any.
[00:54] ---
    So I was right, it's a salesman.
[00:56] ---
    We don't want any! We don't want any!
[00:59] ---
    I said ya ain't wanted, dummy!
[01:02] ---
    What's going on?
[01:04] ---
    How many times do I gotta
    say it? We don't want ya!
[01:08] ---
    It's Big Brother!
[01:10] ---
    Maria?!
[01:11] ---
    Big Brother! I found Big Brother!
[01:15] ---
    I said I didn't want ya, so
    why'd ya come inside, jerk?!
[01:18] ---
    Maria, what are you doing here?
[01:20] ---
    I'm a nunnery!
[01:22] ---
    Huh?!
[01:22] ---
    Whoops! I meant I'm a runaway!
[01:26] ---
    Don't get those two confus--wait, runaway?!
[01:28] ---
    Yep!
[01:44] ---
    Be My Friend
[01:45] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[01:48] ---
    Be My Side
[01:49] ---
    But I saw right through you
[01:51] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[01:55] ---
    I bet I can even reach your hand
[02:03] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:04] ---
    It's more than I imagined--every
    day's a roller coaster
[02:08] ---
    I always barreled ahead with everything I had
[02:17] ---
    Our time won't last forever, now will it?
[02:24] ---
    Now is all we have, so let's make
    sure we remember this moment
[02:31] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:32] ---
    Yeah, you played dumb
[02:34] ---
    Be My Side
[02:35] ---
    But I saw right through you
[02:37] ---
    I'll walk another step toward your side
[02:42] ---
    So I can take your hand
[02:44] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:45] ---
    Yeah, I'm always gazing at the sky
[02:47] ---
    Be My Side
[02:48] ---
    But I'm still drawn to it
[02:51] ---
    One more time! I'll reach out
    to you as many times as you need
[02:55] ---
    I bet I can even reach that star
[03:02] ---
    "My Little Sisters Are This Cute"
[03:06] ---
    The hag's always on my case,
    telling me to do my job!
[03:09] ---
    So I told her "Big Brother
    wouldn't say that to me,"
[03:12] ---
    and she said, "Go live
    with Big Brother, then!"
[03:15] ---
    And you actually came?
[03:17] ---
    Yes!
[03:24] ---
    Hello?
[03:26] ---
    Yo. You know who I am.
[03:28] ---
    No lame jokes, please, Kate-sensei.
[03:31] ---
    Bingo! It's your little sister Kate*-chan*!
[03:36] ---
    Listen, Maria came over here...
[03:39] ---
    Yeah, I know. I'd appreciate it if you
    could keep her for a couple of days.
[03:43] ---
    Huh? Are you sure I shouldn't bring her back?
[03:46] ---
    Is she an inconvenience?
[03:47] ---
    Well, not really...
[03:49] ---
    What, poopy vampire?
[03:49] ---
    School's out for a few days,
[03:51] ---
    I ain't poop, dummy!
[03:51] ---
    so if she only stays that long...
[03:52] ---
    Thanks, Big Brother! Love you!
[03:55] ---
    Shut up.
[04:02] ---
    Wow! Why is there so much?! Is it Christmas?!
[04:07] ---
    Obviously not.
[04:09] ---
    Then why? Tell me why!
[04:11] ---
    What a bothersome minion of God.
[04:13] ---
    This is the whole problem with plebeians...
[04:16] ---
    Bad!
[04:17] ---
    What the heck was that, jerk?!
[04:18] ---
    You have to pray first!
[04:22] ---
    I am of the Night Tribe. I
    would never pray to your God.
[04:26] ---
    Kobato!
[04:28] ---
    You don't have to pray, but at
    least say "Thanks for the food."
[04:32] ---
    Thanks for the food...
[04:34] ---
    Good job.
[04:39] ---
    Hey, it's not fair for you to start first!
[04:41] ---
    O Father in Heaven, thank you
    for giving us this daily bread--
[04:46] ---
    Poopy amen!
[04:52] ---
    Tasty!
[04:54] ---
    Hey, you didn't finish prayin'!
[04:57] ---
    I'm securing this poor fried chicken
    before the evil vampire takes it!
[05:01] ---
    You're a cheater!
[05:02] ---
    Am not!
[05:03] ---
    Are too, are too!
[05:05] ---
    Am not!
[05:05] ---
    Chew with your mouths closed, you guys...
[05:06] ---
    Are too!
[05:07] ---
    The one who says "cheater"
    is the real cheater!
[05:11] ---
    Hello?
[05:13] ---
    B-Big Brother, what color
    underwear are you wearing?
[05:17] ---
    State your business.
[05:18] ---
    Oh, well, it's not a big deal, but
    are you eating dinner already?
[05:23] ---
    Yeah, right now.
[05:25] ---
    Okay. Tell Maria to eat her
    vegetables, okay Big Brother?
[05:29] ---
    Uh-huh.
[05:36] ---
    Okay, who ate my chicken?
[05:40] ---
    Her!
[05:45] ---
    Come to think of it, Maria, I'm
    impressed you found my house.
[05:48] ---
    I had the hag bring me here, so I was okay!
[05:51] ---
    Quite the unconventional runaway, aren't you?
[05:57] ---
    Hello?
[05:58] ---
    Did Maria eat her veggies?
[06:00] ---
    Like a horse.
[06:00] ---
    Hey, there's oil floating in there!
[06:01] ---
    Oh, good. Okay, bye!
[06:12] ---
    B-Bro...
[06:16] ---
    It has been a while. I'll allow
    you to play a game with me.
[06:18] ---
    Oh, I know what that is! It's
    one of those eroge things!
[06:22] ---
    No it ain't!
[06:23] ---
    It's not?
[06:25] ---
    That's a normal game, with no erotic stuff.
[06:27] ---
    Want to try it?
[06:28] ---
    Yeah!
[06:45] ---
    That was an easy win.
[06:47] ---
    No dim-witted human could
    even hope to match me.
[06:51] ---
    No pulling your punches, huh?
[06:55] ---
    Darkness Requiem!
[06:56] ---
    Come on, wake up!
[07:02] ---
    Fall into eternal darkness.
[07:03] ---
    I win once again.
[07:05] ---
    Aw, I was so close! It was mean
    of you to put that magic on me!
[07:09] ---
    Hey, it's about time you two took your baths.
[07:12] ---
    Baths? Me! I want a bath!
[07:15] ---
    Yay! Bath time! Bath time
    at Big Brother's house!
[07:21] ---
    Hey, the bath is this way!
[07:23] ---
    Oh, that way!
[07:26] ---
    So this is Big Brother's bath!
[07:31] ---
    Maria's in the bath.
[07:32] ---
    Okay, then tell her to make
    sure she washes up good.
[07:35] ---
    Are you that worried about her?
[07:37] ---
    I-I-I'm not worried at all!
[07:47] ---
    Whoa, it's like white poop.
[07:50] ---
    Maria, I'm leaving you some pjs.
[07:52] ---
    They're Kobato's, but don't sweat it.
[07:54] ---
    Oh, and wash up good!
[07:56] ---
    Got it!
[07:59] ---
    Ha! No effect on me.
[08:02] ---
    Hey, hey, Big Brother!
[08:04] ---
    What's up?
[08:05] ---
    These pajamas are uncomfortable!
[08:08] ---
    The chest is too tight.
[08:11] ---
    I can't sleep like this!
[08:14] ---
    Oh, sorry about that.
[08:16] ---
    Don't sleep then, dummy!
[08:19] ---
    Whoa, Kobato, what's gotten into you?!
[08:22] ---
    Refreshed!
[08:25] ---
    It's Big Brother's t-shirt!
[08:28] ---
    It's like I combined with him!
[08:34] ---
    Foolish minion of God, you
    shall regret mocking me!
[08:39] ---
    Bring it on, poopy vampire!
[08:41] ---
    Time to fight!
[08:56] ---
    That was an easy win.
[08:57] ---
    Did that teach you how powerful I am?
[09:05] ---
    Hmph! You're not even worth fighting now.
[09:21] ---
    Well, they do say "A sleeping
    child is a growing child."
[09:25] ---
    I'm sleepin' too!
[09:28] ---
    What's with you?
[09:34] ---
    Okay, I think I'll turn in, too...
[09:42] ---
    Is Maria asleep already?
[09:44] ---
    Yep.
[09:45] ---
    Oh.
[09:46] ---
    Listen... do you have a sister complex?
[09:49] ---
    H-H-How dare you say such a thing!
[09:55] ---
    Hello.
[09:56] ---
    Did she brush her teeth before she--
[10:02] ---
    Life's gonna be rough if I
    don't give Maria back fast.
[10:07] ---
    Hang in there, Maria...
[10:18] ---
    Hold it, Maria!
[10:20] ---
    Apologize to Big Brother
    for causing him trouble.
[10:23] ---
    S-Sorry for causing trouble!
[10:25] ---
    You caused me way more trouble.
[10:28] ---
    We owe you for this!
[10:30] ---
    It was no big deal.
[10:31] ---
    Hey, Big Brother, can I come stay over again?
[10:34] ---
    Sure, anytime.
[10:36] ---
    Don't ever come back, dummy!
[10:38] ---
    Shut up, poopy vampire! I'm
    coming back no matter what!
[10:45] ---
    Bye-bye!
[10:48] ---
    Phew. I was worried for a while there...
[10:53] ---
    Only a child runs away from home.
[10:57] ---
    But that line really got to her.
[11:05] ---
    Come on, gaming first thing in the morning?
[11:07] ---
    I must build up my magic to prepare for
    the foolish minion of God's invasion!
[11:12] ---
    Next time she comes,
[11:14] ---
    I shall make her prostrate herself
    before my overwhelming power!
[11:18] ---
    "Next time she comes," eh?
[11:32] ---
    Man, by the third day school's
    out, there's nothing left to do...
[11:37] ---
    True. How are the normal
    students killing time?
[11:42] ---
    Beats me.
[11:43] ---
    Ah, in manga Rika has seen people
    having parties together after finals.
[11:48] ---
    Rika thinks they're called
    "Forget Your Cares Parties."
[11:50] ---
    Oh, I've heard of those.
[11:53] ---
    Should we give this "Forget Your
    Cares Party" thing a shot, then?
[11:58] ---
    I didn't study for exams, so I
    don't have any cares to forget.
[12:01] ---
    Don't participate, then.
[12:03] ---
    Oh, I'm so tired! I was so worried
    about finals I'm exhausted now!
[12:08] ---
    I see. If you're that tired,
    don't overexert yourself.
[12:11] ---
    Go sleep in the nurse's office.
[12:12] ---
    Hey, wait--
[12:14] ---
    Um, Rika didn't take the
    exams to begin with...
[12:18] ---
    I'm a teacher, so I didn't take them either,
[12:20] ---
    but I wanna do the party!
[12:21] ---
    Sure, it's your choice.
[12:24] ---
    Then so will I!
[12:25] ---
    Sorry, but "Forget Your Cares
    Parties" are for six people only.
[12:28] ---
    Why do you pick on me like that?! Dummy!
[12:31] ---
    No cares!
[12:32] ---
    Does everybody have a drink?
[12:34] ---
    --Yep! - -Yeah!
[12:36] ---
    Okay, drink!
[12:38] ---
    Hold it, hold it! You're supposed to
    say "cheers" or something, not "drink"!
[12:41] ---
    O-Oh... Well, then, to finals ending...
[12:45] ---
    Ch-Cheers!
[12:47] ---
    Cheers.
[12:48] ---
    Cheers!
[12:50] ---
    Snacks! Snacks!
[12:52] ---
    What's wrong?
[12:53] ---
    I'm ashamed to say that I have
    trouble with carbonated drinks.
[12:58] ---
    Then why did you choose one?
[13:00] ---
    Because you chose it, Aniki.
[13:03] ---
    I see that a true man must not allow
    mere carbonation to defeat him.
[13:08] ---
    Hey!
[13:12] ---
    Are you okay?!
[13:16] ---
    Aniki, please forgive your useless servant.
[13:21] ---
    I'll drink this for you, so get yourself
    some orange juice or something.
[13:27] ---
    A-Aniki...
[13:29] ---
    OMG! Indirect kiss!
[13:32] ---
    What are you, a little kid?
[13:34] ---
    Sheesh...
[13:44] ---
    Hey, are you okay?
[13:48] ---
    Yozora, can you still
    not handle fizzy drinks?
[13:52] ---
    It's not that I can't drink them.
    I just hate them, that's all.
[13:56] ---
    "Still"?
[13:57] ---
    O-Oh, nothing...
[14:00] ---
    Crap, I forgot us knowing each
    other before was a secret.
[14:03] ---
    Very suspicious.
[14:05] ---
    Munch, munch.
[14:07] ---
    Well? What comes next? Do
    we play a game or something?
[14:11] ---
    Party games... The King Game comes to mind.
[14:15] ---
    What's the King Game?
[14:17] ---
    You draw straws to pick a king,
[14:19] ---
    and then the king gets to make
    another player do anything he wants.
[14:23] ---
    Anything?!
[14:24] ---
    So could I make Yozora lick my feet, then?!
[14:27] ---
    Ow!
[14:28] ---
    Well, the king's orders are absolute,
    so it's technically possible.
[14:33] ---
    I want to do it! I want
    to play the King Game!
[14:36] ---
    Very well. Someone needs to crack
    stupid Meat's psyche like an egg.
[14:41] ---
    J-Just a second! We're only doing
    this game on one condition!
[14:46] ---
    "King Straws" "Orders"
[14:46] ---
    Let's decide the king's orders by lottery.
[14:49] ---
    Everybody write down orders on
    paper and put them in this box.
[14:53] ---
    That's kind of a weird rule.
[14:55] ---
    Obviously without preventative measures,
    everybody's orders will be crazy!
[15:00] ---
    Okay, everybody got one? Now...
[15:04] ---
    Who's the king?!
[15:08] ---
    Here! I'm the king!
[15:08] ---
    "King"
[15:10] ---
    I'm clearly the one suited
    to kingship, anyway.
[15:13] ---
    Whatever, Meat, just draw an order!
[15:16] ---
    Talking to your king that
    way will get you in trouble.
[15:20] ---
    And the order is... Number
    4 has to put on a swimsuit!
[15:23] ---
    Who the heck wrote that order?!
[15:26] ---
    Me!
[15:28] ---
    What did you intend to do
    if you got stuck doing it?
[15:33] ---
    I wouldn't get stuck with
    my own order, silly!
[15:37] ---
    Now, who's Number 4?
[15:39] ---
    Who's the poor sap
[15:41] ---
    who gets stuck humiliating themselves
    wearing a swimsuit like a super-idiot
[15:45] ---
    while everyone else is dressed?
[15:48] ---
    Bro!
[15:49] ---
    Kobato-chan?!
[15:52] ---
    I declare it invalid! This
    order never happened!
[15:55] ---
    My sympathies, but a king's
    order, once given, is absolute.
[15:59] ---
    Sister of Kodaka, if you must blame
    someone, blame this brutal tyrant.
[16:04] ---
    It's my fault?!
[16:05] ---
    But look, we don't have any swimsuits, so...
[16:09] ---
    It's not a swimsuit, but...
[16:16] ---
    Um, Kobato-chan?
[16:19] ---
    I ain't forgivin' you... I
    ain't never forgivin' you!
[16:22] ---
    I'm so sorry!
[16:25] ---
    Who's the king?!
[16:28] ---
    Oh, it's me.
[16:30] ---
    "Orders"
[16:35] ---
    W-Was this written by an idiot?!
[16:38] ---
    Who's Number 5?! Read the text on this paper!
[16:42] ---
    Hey, I won!
[16:46] ---
    Hmm... "T-Too good! I-I'm so close!
[16:50] ---
    I'm gonna come, I'm gonna
    come, oh, I'm there!
[16:53] ---
    It's so good! I'm coming so hard!"
[16:57] ---
    How could you make her read that?
[17:00] ---
    You figured it out, huh?
[17:02] ---
    Really Rika wanted one
    of her sempai to pick it
[17:04] ---
    so she could enjoy them writhing
    in shame as they recited it...
[17:08] ---
    We're moving on.
[17:10] ---
    I'm the king!
[17:10] ---
    "Orders"
[17:12] ---
    And the order is...
[17:12] ---
    "King"
[17:22] ---
    Welcome!
[17:25] ---
    Tell me, was someone with
    my face just in here?
[17:28] ---
    That was Lupin, you rube!
[17:33] ---
    Thank you for shopping with us!
[17:37] ---
    Which one of you wrote this stupid order?
[17:40] ---
    And why would the king give
    herself an order, anyway?!
[17:44] ---
    The king's orders are absolute.
    Even orders to herself.
[17:50] ---
    So she's the culprit.
[17:53] ---
    And she folded a corner so
    that she wouldn't pick it...
[17:56] ---
    She's a fearsome woman, as always...
[17:59] ---
    "Orders"
[18:01] ---
    "Number 1 has to bare their chest
    to everybody." Ugh, that's low.
[18:06] ---
    Leave it to you, Aniki.
    That's majorly hard-core.
[18:09] ---
    Whoa, hey, it wasn't me!
[18:12] ---
    Yeah, I wrote that one.
[18:13] ---
    Seriously, what if you'd
    gotten stuck doing it?!
[18:18] ---
    That would never happen!
[18:21] ---
    I really don't get what
    makes you so sure of that.
[18:23] ---
    So... Who's showing their boobs?
[18:32] ---
    Mine are bigger than yours!
[18:41] ---
    "Orders"
[18:47] ---
    "Curry-flavored poop?"
    "Or poop-flavored curry?"
[19:10] ---
    Okay, let's stop after the next one.
[19:13] ---
    Who's the king?!
[19:14] ---
    "King"
[19:16] ---
    Oh, it's me!
[19:19] ---
    "Orders" This time I swear
    I'll make you lick my feet!
[19:23] ---
    Hmm? There's one stuck at the bottom.
[19:27] ---
    Okay, that's it! This is the one
    worthy of being the last order!
[19:33] ---
    Okay, "Number 3 and the
    king have to kiss"--Huh?!
[19:40] ---
    A kiss? Well, that's certainly
    a staple of the King Game!
[19:43] ---
    Wh-Who's Number 3?!
[19:46] ---
    Here.
[19:47] ---
    Wow, you're gonna kiss? You're so grown-up!
[19:55] ---
    W-Well, Kodaka, get over here.
[19:58] ---
    Huh? We're seriously doing it?
[20:01] ---
    We have no choice! Since the
    king's orders... are absolute...
[20:05] ---
    That's true...
[20:39] ---
    No!
[20:41] ---
    Wh-What's with you?
[20:43] ---
    You can't! I mean, it's disgraceful!
[20:47] ---
    The king's orders are absolute, aren't they?
[20:49] ---
    Shut up! I said no, and I meant no!
[20:52] ---
    What the heck?
[20:53] ---
    I know!
[21:00] ---
    There, mission accomplished.
[21:03] ---
    Th-This is Sena's glass, see?
[21:07] ---
    So it's, um... We'll call it an
    indirect kiss! Or is that no good...
[21:14] ---
    That's absolutely fine.
[21:17] ---
    I'll allow it.
[21:19] ---
    Aniki...
[21:22] ---
    Okay, that's the end of the King Game!
[21:25] ---
    Huh?
[21:26] ---
    Now, let's clean up!
[21:28] ---
    Huh?
[21:35] ---
    Well, it wouldn't have been as
    good doing it in-game anyway.
[21:49] ---
    Hello?
[21:50] ---
    Hey, long time no see!
[21:52] ---
    Oh, Dad, it's you.
[21:54] ---
    Are you and Kobato doing well?
[21:57] ---
    Yeah, we're fine. Did you want something?
[22:01] ---
    Well, it's not a huge
    deal or anything, but...
[22:06] ---
    It's something Zaki said.
[22:07] ---
    "Zaki"? Oh, the President?
[22:11] ---
    So... are you marrying Zaki's girl?
[22:18] ---
    Huh?!
[22:39] ---
    A stray cloud blocks my view
[22:43] ---
    Of the star I know should be shining there
[22:48] ---
    What should I believe in?
[22:53] ---
    I was on my way to breaking
[22:56] ---
    The treasure bred in this
    all too changeable world
[23:01] ---
    Because I was afraid of losing it
[23:06] ---
    Those days of sighing "This is absurd"
[23:09] ---
    And flailing inside my birdcage
[23:12] ---
    We were gazing up at the same sky
[23:18] ---
    When I gripped your hand, you
    gripped back, didn't you?
[23:25] ---
    These joined hands are
    stronger than any wings
[23:31] ---
    We can fly higher even without wings
[23:38] ---
    So I know we'll be okay trying now
[23:41] ---
    Let's grab the stars twinkling in the sky
[23:53] ---
    Anyway, that was kind of a tragic
    "Forget Your Cares Party," huh?
[23:56] ---
    Who'd have thought a party
[23:58] ---
    to celebrate not being tired
    would tire me out so much?
[24:00] ---
    As always, Aniki, you transcend
    the conventional wisdom.
[24:04] ---
    Hey, it wasn't my fault!
[24:05] ---
    You're just being modest.
[24:07] ---
    It's not modesty!
[24:09] ---
    Next time: "A Man Is Among Them!"
[24:09] ---
    "A Man Is Among Them!"
[24:13] ---
    That must be me.
[24:15] ---
    Oh yeah, I forgot you were a guy.
[24:17] ---