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23 - The Sad-Case King and the Stone-Cold Story

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] ---
    "The Moon Rises in the Sky"
[00:13] ---
    "Boys Over the Slope"
[00:21] ---
    "I committed plagiarism."
[00:30] ---
    And what made ya pull
    this stupid stunt? Well?!
[00:35] ---
    You guys are stupid, so I
    figured I wouldn't get caught
[00:39] ---
    if I ripped off a minor Japanese mov--
[00:40] ---
    Who's the stupid one?!
[00:42] ---
    Did ya think it was all good as long
    as ya didn't get caught?! Well?!
[00:46] ---
    Anego...
[00:48] ---
    Stupid.
[00:52] ---
    I'm very sorry.
[00:56] ---
    So, what should we do now?
[00:58] ---
    About what?
[00:59] ---
    The film! We're not trying to
    make money off this or anything,
[01:04] ---
    so maybe we can still use this script...
[01:06] ---
    You have to be kidding!
[01:08] ---
    Obviously the great Sena can't
    be in some knockoff movie!
[01:11] ---
    We're scrapping Yozora's script.
[01:13] ---
    Let's do a new, original movie.
[01:15] ---
    But there's no time to write a new one.
[01:18] ---
    No need to worry about that.
[01:21] ---
    Ta-da!
[01:22] ---
    Is that...?
[01:24] ---
    See, I secretly wrote a script myself
    in case stupid Yozora couldn't.
[01:30] ---
    Seriously?!
[01:31] ---
    Leave it to you, Sena-anego!
[01:35] ---
    Sena's got skills, huh!
[01:37] ---
    You plebs should be grateful to me.
[01:45] ---
    Hey, Yozora. How are you feeling right now?
[01:49] ---
    We found out what you did,
    and now I've stolen your job!
[01:52] ---
    How does it feel to know your
    five minutes of fame are over?
[01:57] ---
    Ha, ha, useless animal!
[02:01] ---
    Ha, ha, you're so lame!
[02:09] ---
    Yozora.
[02:11] ---
    "I committed plagiarism."
[02:12] ---
    Make up for your blunder
    with some good acting.
[02:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[02:33] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[02:36] ---
    Be My Side
[02:37] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[02:39] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[02:43] ---
    Sono te ni datte todokisou sa
[02:51] ---
    "Haganai NEXT"
[02:52] ---
    Souzou ijou da ne jetto koosutaa na mainichi
[02:57] ---
    Hisshi de mae wo muite itsumo kakenuketa n da
[03:05] ---
    Zutto tsuzuki wa shinai ne bokura no jikan wa
[03:12] ---
    Ima shika nai kara kono
    shunkan kizamitsukeyou

[03:19] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:20] ---
    Shiranai furi shitatte
[03:22] ---
    Be My Side
[03:23] ---
    Zenbu kizuiteta yo
[03:25] ---
    Mou ippo kimi no tonari ni ikou
[03:30] ---
    Te wo toreru you ni
[03:32] ---
    Be My Friend
[03:33] ---
    Miagete bakari datte
[03:35] ---
    Be My Side
[03:36] ---
    Akogareteru ima mo
[03:39] ---
    Mou ikkai nando demo te wo nobasou
[03:43] ---
    Ano hoshi datte todokisou sa
[03:50] ---
    "The Sad-Case King and the Stone-Cold Story"
[03:58] ---
    It's a witch!
[03:59] ---
    Cool!
[04:02] ---
    How could you make me dress
    like this in public?!
[04:04] ---
    Hey, stupid Meat, are you listening?!
[04:06] ---
    Dammit!
[04:07] ---
    "Boys Over the" what?
[04:08] ---
    "Slope."
[04:09] ---
    Correct. Okay, let's do the fight scene next.
[04:12] ---
    Yes, Ma'am.
[04:17] ---
    ♪ No going back now! ♪
[04:25] ---
    Where is this power coming from?!
[04:27] ---
    But still--
[04:30] ---
    Wow, you're not bad.
[04:32] ---
    Now's the time! Jump her!
[04:35] ---
    Gimme a suggestive cut to tomorrow morning!
[04:37] ---
    "Tomorrow morning"?
[04:38] ---
    Now self-destruct, Yozora!
[04:40] ---
    L-Like that's possible!
[04:41] ---
    Sheesh, you should be able to do that much!
[04:45] ---
    Rika will fix up the explosion with CG.
[04:51] ---
    Our friendship shall outshine planet Earth!
[04:54] ---
    Planet Earth!
[04:55] ---
    Let us give thanks--whoops.
[04:55] ---
    Let us give thanks for the mercy...
[04:57] ---
    ...of the all-knowing, all-powerful
    goddess Kasi Vazwakii Swena!
[05:02] ---
    Yes! This is love!
[05:06] ---
    That makes no sense.
[05:09] ---
    High school, friendship,
    singing, magic, superpowers,
[05:14] ---
    intergalactic samurai robot
    wars, male-male love scenes...
[05:19] ---
    Who knew she'd really
    throw all that in there?
[05:23] ---
    But hey, I guess it's got a
    more indie-film feel this way.
[05:34] ---
    Rika feels bad for needing
    your help, Kodaka-sempai.
[05:37] ---
    Don't sweat it.
[05:39] ---
    Come to think of it, walking the
    hallways all alone with Rika...
[05:44] ---
    Walking the hallways all alone
    together is a first, huh Sempai?
[05:48] ---
    Is it?
[05:50] ---
    Yes, it is!
[05:51] ---
    Hmm.
[05:52] ---
    What do you mean, "hmm"?!
[05:55] ---
    Welcome!
[05:57] ---
    Come to think of it, I haven't been
    in this room since we first met.
[06:02] ---
    That was a while ago, huh?
[06:04] ---
    Yes. It was 122 days ago, in fact.
[06:08] ---
    You've been counting?!
[06:09] ---
    No, Rika just remembers.
[06:14] ---
    To be precise, it's been 122
    days, 8 hours, and 37 minutes.
[06:22] ---
    "Sect Σ"
[06:23] ---
    "Sect Sigma"?
[06:25] ---
    Please pretend you didn't see that.
[06:31] ---
    Wow.
[06:32] ---
    For a while, Rika even had fingerprint
    and voice recognition on the lock
[06:35] ---
    to make it like a secret base!
[06:37] ---
    You really do like this
    anime-type stuff, huh?
[06:40] ---
    You've even got cosplay costumes.
[06:43] ---
    Hmph, fine, call Rika childish.
[06:54] ---
    Whoa...
[06:55] ---
    You can set the equipment down anywhere.
[06:58] ---
    Okay.
[07:01] ---
    Sempai, you're the first person
    Rika has ever let into this room.
[07:05] ---
    Huh...
[07:06] ---
    "Huh"?! Please, try to
    be a little more moved!
[07:10] ---
    A girl is asking a boy into her
    room for the first time, here!
[07:14] ---
    You can't convince me this
    place is a girl's room.
[07:18] ---
    Well, good luck with the equipment checks.
[07:21] ---
    Oh, wait!
[07:24] ---
    Rika's added some effects
    to the scenes we've filmed.
[07:26] ---
    Would you mind taking a look?
[07:36] ---
    ♪  No going back now! ♪
[07:44] ---
    Where is this power coming from?!
[07:46] ---
    But still--
[07:50] ---
    Wow, you're not bad.
[08:02] ---
    You're amazing!
[08:04] ---
    Aw, don't just come out and say that!
[08:08] ---
    But this really is amazing...
    and wasn't it a lot of work?
[08:14] ---
    Well, Rika did work pretty hard.
[08:16] ---
    Oh... I feel bad that you're having
    to shoulder all the burden.
[08:20] ---
    It's fine! It's a lot of work,
    but it's certainly not a burden.
[08:26] ---
    Rika has worked on a lot
    of games and movies before,
[08:30] ---
    but this is her first time making
    something with people her own age...
[08:34] ---
    Rika's having a lot of fun!
[08:41] ---
    Photos of the Neighbors Club?
[08:43] ---
    Oh, this?
[08:45] ---
    Rika knows it was rude, but
    she took some secret photos.
[08:48] ---
    You perv!
[08:49] ---
    Please don't get the wrong idea!
[08:51] ---
    Then what is this?
[08:53] ---
    Remember how we all played that
    Romancing sAgA game together?
[08:58] ---
    Yeah.
[08:58] ---
    These are the reference materials
    Rika got to make all your CG models.
[09:05] ---
    She prepared that carefully
    just to play the game with us?
[09:12] ---
    Uh-oh, you found out. Now Rika
    feels a little embarrassed!
[09:17] ---
    You...
[09:18] ---
    Hmm? Is something wrong?
[09:20] ---
    Ah, no... Okay, well, I'll be going now.
[09:24] ---
    Okay. Good night!
[09:38] ---
    Really? Rika had a good time.
[09:41] ---
    It was the first time Rika played
    a video game with other people,
[09:45] ---
    but it was a lot of fun!
[09:50] ---
    I remember getting lost
    in her smile then, too...
[09:57] ---
    Out of all the Neighbors Club members,
[10:00] ---
    she might be the one trying
    hardest to make friends.
[10:12] ---
    "St. Chronica's Academy Middle
    School" "School Festival"
[10:14] ---
    Parents and guardians this way, please.
[10:17] ---
    We're doing a maid café!
[10:19] ---
    "Crêpes"
[10:22] ---
    Oh, wow!
[10:24] ---
    Hey, Big Brother, is this an outdoor party?
[10:27] ---
    Hmm? Yeah, I guess so.
[10:30] ---
    It's so weird for a school
    to be doing an outdoor party!
[10:33] ---
    Is this the first time you've ever
    been to a school festival, Maria?
[10:35] ---
    Yup! See, when I was in school,
    I didn't do anything but study!
[10:41] ---
    I-I see.
[10:43] ---
    Dadadadada off we go!
[10:45] ---
    Let's see, Class 2-2... There
    it is. The AV room, eh?
[10:51] ---
    Looks like they're starting at 10:00.
[10:54] ---
    Crap, we only have five minutes!
[10:56] ---
    Sena, where's the AV room?
[10:58] ---
    Why are you asking me?
[11:00] ---
    You went to school here just two years ago!
[11:02] ---
    What? No I didn't.
[11:05] ---
    You didn't?
[11:06] ---
    Nope. I went to a public
    middle school near my house.
[11:10] ---
    Come to think of it, you
    did take the entrance exam.
[11:13] ---
    So you weren't grandfathered
    in from this middle school?
[11:15] ---
    What does it matter?
[11:17] ---
    Come on, let's find the AV room!
[11:20] ---
    "AV Room"
[11:21] ---
    We will now screen a film by class 2-2.
[11:25] ---
    Please be quiet during the screening.
[11:29] ---
    Phew, we made it.
[11:32] ---
    Now, please enjoy Kobato-sama's performance.
[11:36] ---
    "Kobato-sama"?!
[11:46] ---
    "Somewhere far away"
[11:49] ---
    "in an old castle deep in the forest"
[11:51] ---
    "there lived a beautiful princess."
[11:55] ---
    "Her name was"
[11:59] ---
    "Princess Kobato"
[12:00] ---
    At least rename her!
[12:03] ---
    "O beautiful Princess
    Kobato, will you marry me?"
[12:08] ---
    "No, marry me!"
[12:13] ---
    "Me! Me!"
[12:17] ---
    "Very well, I shall marry whoever brings me
    the jewel of the dragon at the end of the world."
[12:23] ---
    A Kaguya-hime motif, eh?
[12:43] ---
    "Farewell..."
[12:48] ---
    Our movie isn't as good as this.
[12:58] ---
    Bravo! Bravo, Kobato-chan!
[13:04] ---
    Beautifully performed. Leave it
    to your honored sister, Aniki.
[13:09] ---
    Rika loves cutting-edge SFX, but
    that retro feel was good, too!
[13:13] ---
    Yes. Let's take a lesson from
    this for the movie we're mak--
[13:16] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan was so cute!
[13:20] ---
    She's seriously a princess!
[13:21] ---
    My heart is melting!
[13:24] ---
    Man, Kobato-sama's the
    best! Seriously a goddess!
[13:28] ---
    The audience was seriously
    eating out of her hand!
[13:30] ---
    More like, how amazing is it that
    our first showing was that full?!
[13:33] ---
    If we get popular, we might
    not have enough seats!
[13:36] ---
    Maybe we should've sold tickets!
[13:38] ---
    That's Kobato*-sama* for you!
[13:42] ---
    Kobato-chan!
[13:46] ---
    Long time no see! I missed you so much!
[13:48] ---
    You're so cute! You're seriously an angel!
[13:51] ---
    You're seriously Princess Kobato!
[13:52] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan, I just love
    you! Sniff sniff! Pant pant!
[13:56] ---
    Leggo, dummy! Why're ya here?!
[13:59] ---
    Bro, I told ya not to come!
[14:03] ---
    Excuse me, are you Kobato
-chan
's big
    brother that we hear so much about?!
[14:07] ---
    Huh? Yeah...
[14:08] ---
    What did you think? Wasn't
    she seriously good?!
[14:11] ---
    Yeah, she was great. The
    movie was really impressive.
[14:15] ---
    Kobato-chan! Your big brother said
    you were super-good in the movie!
[14:21] ---
    It was super-good for me, too,
    Kobato-chan! You were superb!
[14:26] ---
    Jerk!
[14:27] ---
    "Princess Kobato"
[14:31] ---
    Sorry that Sena interrupted you guys.
[14:34] ---
    Please don't worry.
[14:36] ---
    Listen... Is Kobato...
[14:39] ---
    ...a popular girl?
[14:40] ---
    Yes, very!
[14:42] ---
    Lately her fan base has surged all
    over school, let alone our class!
[14:46] ---
    Oh, wow.
[14:48] ---
    But the thing is...
[14:50] ---
    Well, we totally want to be
    friends with Kobato-chan,
[14:55] ---
    but sometimes it kinda seems like
    she might not like us too much...
[15:00] ---
    Really?
[15:01] ---
    We tell her we love her all the time,
[15:04] ---
    but it's like she doesn't take us seriously,
[15:06] ---
    or like the closer we get
    the more she pulls away...
[15:10] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not
    badmouthing her or anything!
[15:14] ---
    I mean, I love that adorable shyness, too!
[15:17] ---
    Well, bye!
[15:19] ---
    Won't take people seriously,
    pulls away the closer they get...
[15:24] ---
    Like brother, like sister.
[15:26] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[15:33] ---
    What's wrong, Maria?
[15:35] ---
    This is no fun.
[15:50] ---
    You have waited long for me, my brethren.
[15:53] ---
    The poopy vampire! The poopy vampire is here!
[15:58] ---
    We gotta kill the vampire!
[16:01] ---
    You would defy me? You never
    learn, foolish minion of--
[16:08] ---
    Why do ya keep comin' at me
    outta nowhere, ya dummy?!
[16:12] ---
    Taste my true power, which bends
    even the power of God to my will!
[16:17] ---
    Okay, let's get out there and film the
    scene with the major Kobato-chan heroics!
[16:21] ---
    I don't remember Kobato having a scene.
[16:24] ---
    Of course she does!
[16:25] ---
    All the scenes that you've done so
    far, we're redoing with Kobato*-chan*!
[16:29] ---
    So I was a stand-in?! First I've heard of it!
[16:32] ---
    Look at the sun! It's in the
    perfect place, so let's hurry up!
[16:36] ---
    Oh well, I guess we'd better.
[16:38] ---
    I'll show you my dark powers that
    sold out the theater, poopy nun!
[16:44] ---
    I'll slaughter you with
    my sacred performance!
[16:48] ---
    Oh, Kobato-chan, wait!
[16:59] ---
    Come on, Kodaka, get a move on!
[17:01] ---
    Okay, okay.
[17:09] ---
    It's a beautiful day without a cloud in the
    sky: the perfect day for a sports festival.
[17:15] ---
    You've all practiced hard for today,
    so show us the fruits of your labor
[17:20] ---
    and give it your all until the end.
[17:22] ---
    I'd like to thank the parents very
    much for coming all this way.
[17:23] ---
    Huh, our student council
    president is a girl.
[17:28] ---
    I never knew.
[17:29] ---
    I hope you'll cheer for us to the end.
[17:34] ---
    Well, I've got nothing to
    do for a while. What now?
[17:39] ---
    Yo.
[17:40] ---
    Oh, Kodaka, it's you.
[17:44] ---
    Maybe I'll head home.
[17:46] ---
    That was fast!
[17:47] ---
    I should have skipped after all.
[17:51] ---
    It's still morning, and I've
    already seen something icky...
[17:52] ---
    Something icky?
[17:54] ---
    That girl who spoke at the opening ceremony.
[17:57] ---
    Huh? Do you and the student
    council president not get along?
[18:00] ---
    We've never even spoken.
    But I hate her to death.
[18:03] ---
    What?
[18:05] ---
    Hidaka Hinata. Third year.
    Overwhelmingly popular.
[18:09] ---
    And this is her second year
    as student council president.
[18:13] ---
    She's good at all sports, and all
    the teams ask her to fill in.
[18:17] ---
    She's extremely busy, and yet I hear
    she almost never refuses a favor.
[18:21] ---
    The underclassmen idolize her, naturally.
[18:24] ---
    She seems like a really good person...
[18:26] ---
    Hidaka Hinata--she is a true real-lifer.
[18:30] ---
    Now that I've uncovered how
    tragically stupid Meat is,
[18:34] ---
    she stands alone at the
    satisfying-real-life summit.
[18:36] ---
    One might even rightly call her King Real.
[18:40] ---
    "King Real"?
[18:41] ---
    One of Shakespeare's great tragic plays
[18:44] ---
    is the story of the elderly king
    Lear causing numerous tragedies
[18:48] ---
    and ultimately dying a pathetic death.
[18:50] ---
    Almost the entire cast dies.
[18:52] ---
    That's a pretty sinister nickname.
[18:54] ---
    It expresses my wish that
    her life ends badly.
[19:00] ---
    I'm starting to feel sick
    just talking about her.
[19:03] ---
    I'm going to go rest in the nurse's office.
[19:06] ---
    How much do you hate real-lifers, exactly?
[19:13] ---
    Rika?
[19:15] ---
    What's she doing?
[19:21] ---
    Sempai! What are you doing here?
[19:24] ---
    That's my line.
[19:25] ---
    Rika wanted to feel the wind for a while.
[19:29] ---
    I can't believe you're dressed like that!
[19:31] ---
    Rika decided to wear a gym
    uniform for the occasion.
[19:34] ---
    How does it look?
[19:35] ---
    Why not just participate while you're at it?
[19:38] ---
    No, Rika still has work to do.
[19:40] ---
    Not that she would join if she didn't.
[19:42] ---
    Hey, did you pull an all-nighter last night?
[19:45] ---
    Oh dear, you caught on?
[19:47] ---
    Perhaps Rika should have worn her glasses.
[19:50] ---
    I, um... well... Thanks for
    working so hard for us, Rika.
[19:58] ---
    For goodness's sake!
[20:00] ---
    Hasn't Rika told you to stop
    blindsiding her like that?!
[20:05] ---
    I don't know what to say to that...
[20:07] ---
    Oh, Rika thinks the race is about to start!
[20:12] ---
    Look, it's Sena-sempai.
[20:14] ---
    Goodness, that's a lot of jiggling!
[20:19] ---
    Where are you looking?
[20:23] ---
    Altogether Sena-sempai really
    is impressive, isn't she?
[20:26] ---
    Yeah.
[20:28] ---
    Incidentally, what do you think of her?
[20:31] ---
    I don't think anything! She's
    just a fellow club member.
[20:35] ---
    Even though she's your betrothed?
[20:38] ---
    That's all over and done with!
[20:40] ---
    Hmmm. Rika doesn't think Sena-*sempai
    *agrees with you there.
[20:44] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[20:53] ---
    You're always lonely, but you're
    scared of open affection from others.
[20:58] ---
    You pretend not to notice.
    You pretend not to hear.
[21:01] ---
    You run. You make jokes.
    You brush off. You reject.
[21:05] ---
    You even lie to your own heart,
    and tell it "They don't like you."
[21:09] ---
    Oh, you're talking about Kobato.
[21:11] ---
    Yeah, she's always been scared of strangers.
[21:14] ---
    "What did you say," my ass. Idiot.
[21:19] ---
    Rika will keep playing the same
    character she's always played,
[21:22] ---
    if that's what you want.
[21:25] ---
    But Kodaka-sempai...
[21:28] ---
    Don't you think it's about time
    you moved forward? After all...
[21:31] ---
    Stop it!
[21:39] ---
    I'm going.
[21:45] ---
    After all, we're already...
[21:48] ---
    We're already your--
[21:51] ---
    --aren't we?
[21:54] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[22:08] ---
    The truth is, I knew which word
    the wind had swallowed up.
[22:14] ---
    The truth is, I'd realized it long ago.
[22:39] ---
    Hikatta hazu no ano hoshi
[22:43] ---
    Mayotta kumo ga jama shite mienaku naru
[22:48] ---
    Nani wo shinjitara ii?
[22:53] ---
    Fuantei sugiru sekai de
[22:56] ---
    Sodatta takaramono kowashikaketeta
[23:01] ---
    Nakusu no ga kowakute
[23:06] ---
    Fujouri datte tameiki tsuki
[23:09] ---
    Torikago de agaiteta hibi
[23:12] ---
    Onaji sora wo miageteta n da bokura wa
[23:18] ---
    Kimi no te wo nigitta toki
    nigirikaeshite kureta ne

[23:25] ---
    Tsunagatta kono te wa donna
    hane yori tsuyoi n da

[23:31] ---
    Tsubasa nante nakutatte
    motto takaku toberu kara

[23:38] ---
    Kitto ima nara daijoubu
[23:41] ---
    Oozora kagayaku hoshi wo tsukamou
[23:50] ---
    ♪ Be My Friend! Yeah, you played dumb! ♪
[23:53] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[23:55] ---
    ♪ Be My Side! But I saw
    right through you! ♪
[23:59] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?
[24:01] ---
    You're sure into this. You just ruined
    the somber mood of the episode.
[24:04] ---
    Well, I figured I'd at least
    give the preview some spirit...
[24:07] ---
    Makes sense!
[24:07] ---
    "Dismay of I, the Chicken"
[24:08] ---
    Next time: "Dismay of I, the Chicken."
[24:11] ---
    Sempai! Please marry Rika!
[24:15] ---
    What? No.
[24:16] ---
    Hmm? What did you say?!
[24:18] ---