22 - Untitled

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:45] N
    A beautiful nation,
    prospering since ancient times,
[00:51] N
    Japan has many countless stories,
    folk tales, and legends known to all.
[01:00] N
    Look carefully in those stories,
    and you'll occasionally find
[01:03] ---
    the faces of the fairies
    from beyond the Fairy Ring.
[01:10] N
    The anime-chans, given life by
    the fairies, live in the stories.
[01:18] N
    The Fairy Rings connect to
    the folk tales of your city.
[01:25] N
    And open the door, and you may
    get to meet living anime-chans.
[01:33] N
    Yes, this is the land where
    you get to meet anime-chans.
SIGN    A land where you get to meet
    anime-chans
[01:55] A
    Once upon a time,
[01:58] ---
    in the land of fairies,
    there lived a group of adorable girls.
[02:04] A
    They loved to sing, dance, and act,
    and so they formed a troupe.
[02:11] A
    They created and performed
    in many stories based on
[02:18] ---
    Japanese folk tales passed
    down through the generations.
[02:22] A
    The Fairy Land Folktales.
[02:33] A
    Now, what might today's story be?
SIGN    "Urashimatarou and Kaguyahime" Episode Three
[02:46] Yallo
    The wait is over.
[02:48] Yallo
    It's time for Episode Three of
    Urashimatarou and Kaguyahime.
SIGN    Previously
[03:04] N
    Long, long ago, Urashimatarou
    arrived at Ryuuguu Castle,
[03:09] ---
    invited by the turtle that he'd saved.
SIGN    Yamadori B. Porcini
    Voice: Iwasaki Haruka
[03:12] N
    There, in the basement,
    he discovered the unthinkable.
[03:17] N
    Three princesses were being held hostage.
[03:22] N
    Kaguyahime, from the world of the moon.
SIGN    Mizunara Mai
    Voice: Hiratsuka Hina
SIGN    Amanita Muscaria
    Voice: Nakano Aimi
[03:26] N
    Orihime, daughter of Tentei.
[03:29] N
    Urikohime, born from a melon.
SIGN    Mitrula Paludosa
    Voice: Yoshizawa Rurika
[03:32] N
    The three are deceived by Otohime,
    who they thought was their friend,
SIGN    Amanita Virosa
    Voice: Nakano Aimi
[03:37] ---
    and were kept prisoner underground.
SIGN    Urashima had rescued the three princesses, but...
[03:49] Urashima
    I never knew Otohime was that bad.
[03:53] The one with the dots
    I couldn't believe it, either.
[03:56] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    She wasn't like this before.
[03:59] The blonde
    People aren't who they seem.
[04:01] Urashima
    We need to act, then.
[04:04] Urashima
    Let's get out of here.
[04:06] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Yes.
[04:10] The cray cray
    Oh, no you diddle-dee don't.
[04:12] Urashima
    Otohime!
[04:13] The cray cray
    I thought we could get along, Urashima-san.
[04:17] The cray cray
    What a disappointment.
[04:18] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Otohime, why?
[04:20] The cray cray
    Get them!
[04:23] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Urashima-sama!
[04:24] The one with the dots
    Scary!
[04:25] The blonde
    Do something!
[04:27] Urashima
    Hmm... All right.
[04:29] Urashima
    Traditional Japanese performing arts:
[04:31] ---
    The Table Flip!
SIGN    The Table Flip!
[04:37] Urashima
    Run!
[04:44] The cray cray
    Resistance is futile.
[04:45] Urashima
    Shit.
[04:47] The blonde
    Aren't you the protagonist?
[04:48] The blonde
    Take them down.
[04:50] Urashima
    Well, I'm not the hero-type
    like Momotarou or Kintarou.
[04:55] Urashima
    I don't have any special gifts or anything.
[04:57] Urashima
    I'm just an ordinary guy.
[04:59] Jo Hisaishi
    No, Urashima-san.
[05:00] Jo Hisaishi
    You have an exceptional gift.
[05:04] Jo Hisaishi
    You saved me, after all.
[05:07] Urashima
    Turtle-kun.
[05:09] Jo Hisaishi
    You got yourself on my good side.
[05:11] Jo Hisaishi
    That is your one gift.
[05:14] Urashima
    I don't have anything else going for me?
[05:17] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Sorry, but...
[05:19] The one with the dots
    I mean...
[05:19] The blonde
    What can this old-fart turtle do?
[05:21] Jo Hisaishi
    Say what?
[05:22] The cray cray
    What they're saying is that you're
    not going to be of any help.
[05:28] Jo Hisaishi
    You shouldn't underestimate me.
[05:30] Jo Hisaishi
    Kame kame kame fire!
[05:34] Urashima
    That's amazing, Turtle-kun.
[05:36] Jo Hisaishi
    Now, everyone, let's run!
[05:39] The cray cray
    Stop!
[05:46] Jo Hisaishi
    Get on my back, everyone.
[05:48] Urashima
    How are we going to fit the four of us?
[05:50] Jo Hisaishi
    Don't worry.
[05:51] Jo Hisaishi
    Press the button on the back of my shell.
[05:55] Urashima
    This one?
[05:58] Jo Hisaishi
    Limousine mode.
[06:00] A
    How gorgeous.
[06:01] Jo Hisaishi
    Let's get going.
[06:02] Urashima
    Go where?
[06:03] Jo Hisaishi
    I'll take you to my home.
[06:09] Urashima
    But Turtle-kun,
[06:10] Jo Hisaishi
    Yes?
[06:11] Urashima
    Why were you being bullied at
    the beach when you're so strong?
[06:17] Jo Hisaishi
    I lose my powers when I leave the water.
[06:20] Urashima
    Oh, I see.
[06:23] N
    And so Urashima and the princesses
    arrive at the turtle's house.
SIGN    Arriving at Turtle's house.
[06:33] A
    Go away!
[06:34] B
    No, you!
[06:40] Jo Hisaishi
    These are my children.
[06:41] Jo Hisaishi
    Hey, Kouki, Daiki, Tomoki, be quiet.
[06:46] Jo Hisaishi
    We have guests over.
[06:47] Urashima
    The Turtle Trio?
[06:49] A
    Look, pretty ladies!
[06:53] B
    They're all so hot.
[06:55] C
    Hold me!
[06:57] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    They're adorable.
[06:59] The blonde
    Are you sure?
[07:00] A
    They look just like Dad.
[07:02] B
    They do.
[07:04] The blonde
    Why did Otohime do such a thing?
[07:06] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    She wasn't like this before.
[07:08] The one with the dots
    It's like she's someone else.
[07:11] Jo Hisaishi
    There's a reason for this.
[07:13] Urashima
    You know why she did this?
[07:19] N
    The turtle explained why Otohime
    tried to kidnap the three princesses.
[07:27] N
    Once, a merchant ship from the
    South was wrecked during a storm
[07:35] ---
    as it tried to pass through this sea.
[07:40] N
    From among the wreckage
    a mysterious, glowing object was found.
[07:48] N
    It was a magic mirror.
[07:54] N
    It was Otohime of Ryuuguu
    Castle who salvaged it.
[08:01] N
    Otohime spent every day staring into the
    beautiful face in the beautiful mirror.
[08:10] The cray cray
    Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
    who's the fairest princess of them all?
[08:15] Anti-cray
    My princess, you are the fairest in the land.
[08:19] Anti-cray
    Or so I'd love to say, but unfortunately...
[08:23] The cray cray
    Huh?
[08:24] Anti-cray
    There are three princesses who
    are more beautiful than you.
[08:30] Anti-cray
    Their names are Kaguyahime,
    Orihime and Urikohime.
[08:35] The cray cray
    True.
[08:36] The cray cray
    Those three are beautiful and endearing.
[08:39] Anti-cray
    Are you not angry?
[08:42] Anti-cray
    Do you not want to be the most beautiful?
[08:45] The cray cray
    The four of us are close friends.
[08:48] The cray cray
    We can all be the most beautiful together.
[08:51] Anti-cray
    You may say so, but I can
    see through your soul.
[08:56] Anti-cray
    You want people to say you're
    the most beautiful, don't you?
[09:01] The cray cray
    That's not true.
[09:03] Anti-cray
    You surely do.
[09:05] Anti-cray
    Now, be honest.
[09:07] Anti-cray
    "I want to be the fairest of them all."
[09:12] The cray cray
    I am the fairest.
[09:15] Anti-cray
    No, do you want to become the fairest?
[09:19] The cray cray
    I do.
[09:21] Anti-cray
    Good.
[09:22] Anti-cray
    You're finally being honest.
[09:25] Anti-cray
    Would you like to know how to become
    the most beautiful princess?
[09:29] The cray cray
    Tell me.
[09:31] The cray cray
    How do I do it?
[09:32] Anti-cray
    Simple.
[09:34] Anti-cray
    Get rid of the other three,
    and you'll be the fairest.
[09:40] The cray cray
    You're telling me to kill them?
[09:43] Anti-cray
    That's right.
[09:45] The cray cray
    I could never do such a thing.
[09:48] Anti-cray
    What a coward.
[09:52] Anti-cray
    Fine.
[09:53] Anti-cray
    If you can't kill them, simply capture
    them and hold them prisoner.
[09:57] Anti-cray
    So that the three may never
    see the light of day.
[10:02] The cray cray
    All of them?
[10:03] Anti-cray
    That's right.
[10:05] Anti-cray
    Then you'll be the fairest
    princess in the world.
[10:09] The cray cray
    Me, the fairest princess in the world.
[10:13] Anti-cray
    Do it.
[10:15] The cray cray
    I will.
[10:16] The cray cray
    I'll capture the three and make
    sure they never meet anyone again.
[10:21] Anti-cray
    Excellent. That is the right thing to do.
[10:24] The cray cray
    And then I'll be the best
    princess in the world.
[10:32] Jo Hisaishi
    And there you have it.
[10:34] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    How terrible.
[10:36] The one with the dots
    So it was because of the magic mirror.
[10:38] The blonde
    What a jank mirror, swindling Otohime.
[10:41] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    That's right, it's all the mirror's fault.
[10:44] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    It's not Otohime's fault.
[10:46] Urashima
    So without the mirror...
[10:49] Jo Hisaishi
    That's right.
[10:50] Jo Hisaishi
    Break the magic mirror, and Otohime
    should come back to her senses.
[10:54] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Let's go.
[10:56] Urashima
    To where?
[10:57] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    We're going back to Ryuuguu Castle.
[10:59] Urashima
    After we just barely managed to escape?
[11:00] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    We have to save Otohime.
[11:02] The one with the dots
    You're right.
[11:03] The one with the dots
    Otohime is a victim, too.
[11:05] The blonde
    All right, let's go back to Ryuuguu
    Castle and smash that mirror.
[11:09] Urashima
    Wait, but that magic mirror is magic, right?
[11:15] Urashima
    Is it safe?
[11:16] The blonde
    We never asked you to come with us.
[11:19] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Let's go save her, the three of us.
[11:22] Urashima
    Oh.
[11:23] Urashima
    Okay.
[11:24] A
    Dude, that was weak.
[11:27] B
    What a loser.
[11:29] C
    True, true.
[11:30] C
    You're not a man if you run away now.
[11:33] Urashima
    I know.
[11:34] Urashima
    I'm coming, too.
[11:36] Urashima
    I'mma fight the magic mirror.
[11:43] The cray cray
    And here I thought I was finally
    the fairest of them all.
[11:47] Anti-cray
    You should have just murdered them.
[11:50] The cray cray
    I should have been stronger.
[11:52] Anti-cray
    They can't be far away.
[11:56] Anti-cray
    Rally your forces and capture them.
[12:00] Anti-cray
    Otherwise, you'll never be
    the most beautiful princess.
[12:06] The cray cray
    Yes.
[12:07] Urashima
    I won't let you!
[12:08] The one who probably needs better shampoo
    Otohime, snap out of it.
[12:14] N
    The princesses are about to go to battle.
[12:18] N
    But now, we're out of time.
[12:23] N
    That's it for today.
[13:20] N
    Next time, the finale of
    Urashima and the princesses.
[13:24] N
    See you then.