E10 - Heisei Annoying Vampire Battle in Shin-Yoko

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:10] ---
    Human festivals aren't bad, huh, John?
[00:13] ---
    Don't get too excited, idiot.
    We're working!
[00:15] ---
    Yeah, Draluc.
[00:17] ---
    Come on, loosen up.
[00:20] ---
    Hinaichi, you have a cute yukata on, too.
[00:23] ---
    Cute? I'm just undercover!
    My uniform would stand out.
[00:27] ---
    If there are any vampires
    causing trouble at the festival,
[00:30] ---
    then we have to catch them...
[00:34] ---
    "Festive Festival"
[00:34] ---
    "Festive Festival"
    It's a hunter's job to protect
    the festival from those guys.
[00:37] ---
    It's a hunter's job to protect
    the festival from those guys.
[00:38] ---
    Don't get so excited that you miss them!
[00:40] ---
    Wow, you're like the god
    of non-persuasiveness.
[00:44] ---
    Anyway, let's patrol while paying
    attention to our surroundings.
[00:47] ---
    "Nudenium"
    "Freshly bloomed!!"
    "They can walk"
[00:51] ---
    Welcome.
[02:27] ---
    --Nude, nude, nude,
    nude, nude, nude...
[02:27] ---
    "The Festival Music Calls You"
    --Nude, nude, nude,
    nude, nude, nude...
[02:29] ---
    "The Festival Music Calls You"
    --Nude, nude, nude,
    nude, nude, nude...
    --Welcome!
[02:31] ---
    "The Festival Music Calls You"
    Welcome!
[02:32] ---
    Welcom--
[02:35] ---
    What are you doing?!
[02:36] ---
    I'm just selling geraniums in the nude.
[02:40] ---
    Why do you think you're
    allowed to do that, idiot?!
[02:43] ---
    Man, we got a vampire booth
    right from the start!
[02:45] ---
    If that's the case, we need to go
    around the whole festival first.
[02:48] ---
    Hey, wait. I'll also--
[02:51] ---
    Draluc, hurry up and come along.
[02:53] ---
    --Draluc!
    --Sand...
    --Nude, nude, nude...
[02:57] ---
    You can't sell inferior vampires here!
[03:00] ---
    Baby Nudeniums...
[03:02] ---
    Shoot, we've gotten
    separated from Ronaldo.
[03:05] ---
    That guy's so impatient...
[03:06] ---
    Don't worry about it.
    We can patrol separately, too.
[03:10] ---
    That's true, but you're not the one
    who should be saying that.
[03:15] ---
    Don't die from getting jostled
    by the crowd, Draluc.
[03:18] ---
    You die easily, so don't act carelessly--
[03:21] ---
    Mister! I want one turn at the ball toss.
[03:23] ---
    What did I just say?!
[03:29] ---
    John!
[03:30] ---
    Listen when I talk! Wee-wee!
    Don't just go off and play! Wee-wee!
[03:33] ---
    It's fine. It is a festival, after all.
[03:36] ---
    What are you going to do
    if a vampire attacks?
[03:40] ---
    I'm the vampire lord, Draluc.
[03:44] ---
    I am not afraid of other
    inferior vampires!
[03:48] ---
    Excuse me, one turn
    at the ring toss, please.
[03:52] ---
    That'll be 300 yen.
[03:58] ---
    You miss.
[04:01] ---
    Sand!
[04:02] ---
    Draluc!
[04:05] ---
    You're under arrest! You're under arrest!
[04:07] ---
    I'm gonna hunt you down!
[04:08] ---
    Come quietly!
[04:10] ---
    My perfect plan
[04:11] ---
    to become part of the ring toss game and
    suck the blood of handsome men is ruined!
[04:16] ---
    Jeez. Be careful, Dralu--
[04:18] ---
    Mister, please give me a scoop.
[04:20] ---
    Don't you ever learn?!
[04:21] ---
    Wee-wee...
[04:22] ---
    Now, now, let me show you
    my magnificent technique.
[04:29] ---
    Foolish compatriot,
    hanging out with inferior humans...
[04:34] ---
    "Vampiric Telescope Goldfish"
    Without even knowing that all humans
    will become my servants.
[04:39] ---
    Without even knowing that all humans
    will become my servants.
[04:43] ---
    Look forward to the coming day
    of destruction as much as you can.
[04:48] ---
    Stop that.
[04:51] ---
    Why are there so many vampires here?
[04:53] ---
    Hey, Miss!
[04:55] ---
    If you beat me at rock-paper-scissors,
    you get a free chocolate banana.
[04:59] ---
    Out! Safe!
[05:00] ---
    ♪ Yoyoinoyoi! ♪
[05:05] ---
    Why are you stripping?!
[05:06] ---
    I'll put corn kernels
    in the offertory box!
[05:10] ---
    They're appearing one after another!
[05:12] ---
    "Stem Lottery"
    "Prize"
    Welcome!
[05:13] ---
    "Stem Lottery"
    "Prize"
    You were already at another booth!
[05:15] ---
    I'm no one suspicious!
    No one suspicious at all!
[05:15] ---
    "Vampire - Cotton Candy Maker"
    I'm no one suspicious!
    No one suspicious at all!
[05:19] ---
    "Vampire - Cotton Candy Maker"
    One please!
[05:20] ---
    Draluc, come on!
[05:23] ---
    Got you! I'll turn you into cotton candy!
[05:26] ---
    Idiot!
[05:28] ---
    I kind of understand why
    Ronaldo kills you all the time.
[05:33] ---
    Wahhh!
[05:36] ---
    Even so... There are too
    many vampires here!
[05:40] ---
    Hunters and Vamp Control are nothing!
[05:42] ---
    I wanna drink blood!
[05:44] ---
    Handsome men!
[05:46] ---
    I can't deal with them in time!
[05:48] ---
    ♪ Alcohol and the hunt ♪
[05:50] ---
    ♪ Are the festival's splendor ♪
[05:56] ---
    Stop that, my compatriots.
[06:03] ---
    E-Empress!
[06:06] ---
    It is boorish to defile
    such a glorious festival.
[06:10] ---
    Let us stop fighting and get
    along, at least for tonight.
[06:15] ---
    It's a festival. Humans and
    vampires should all enjoy it.
[06:21] ---
    Empress...
[06:23] ---
    It is as the empress says.
[06:29] ---
    Thanks for your help.
[06:31] ---
    "Shin-Yokohama-style yakisoba - 500 yen"
    Thanks for your help.
[06:31] ---
    "Shin-Yokohama-style yakisoba - 500 yen"
    It was nothing.
[06:33] ---
    Now, I'm going to enjoy the
    festival, too, with Adamppi.
[06:38] ---
    Mister, please give me all the
    yakisoba you have on hand.
[06:43] ---
    I'll have to close for the day!
[06:44] ---
    H-Hey!
[07:00] ---
    Man... that was exhausting.
[07:09] ---
    There were booths over here, too?
[07:33] ---
    Huh?
[07:43] ---
    Oh, Miss...
[07:45] ---
    Are you alone? You're a good girl...
[07:50] ---
    Come...
[07:55] ---
    Come closer...
[08:00] ---
    Who are you...?
    Why do you get in my way...?
[08:10] ---
    Wait...
[08:17] ---
    Hinaichi!
[08:20] ---
    Why are you spacing out?
[08:22] ---
    Huh?
[08:25] ---
    Oh, I think I just had a strange dream...
[08:29] ---
    What, you were that tired?
[08:31] ---
    The portable shrine parade is starting,
[08:33] ---
    so why don't you watch that
    and then go home early?
[08:37] ---
    Hey, Draluc. Just now, in my dream...
[08:40] ---
    Hm?
[08:41] ---
    Oh... never mind...
[08:45] ---
    Oh, it's starting!
[08:48] ---
    All right!
[08:51] ---
    This year, it's an empress shrine!
[08:53] ---
    Let's go, guys!
[08:54] ---
    Yeah! Ready, and--
[09:16] ---
    "Heisei Annoying Vampire
    Battle in Shin-Yoko"
[09:21] ---
    You're late, hunter.
[09:23] ---
    No, I'm not! You're the one
    who called me suddenly.
[09:26] ---
    Well? What do you want?
[09:27] ---
    All right, fools.
    First, look at these materials.
[09:31] ---
    This is an organism we ma--ahem--
    captured for research purposes.
[09:37] ---
    It doesn't suck much blood,
[09:38] ---
    so there is little danger
    in the organism itself.
[09:41] ---
    However, because it is parasitic
[09:43] ---
    and has abilities similar to
    hypnosis or brainwashing,
[09:47] ---
    it may have great influence
    on human society.
[09:50] ---
    I let a thing like that loose.
[09:51] ---
    You idiot!
[09:53] ---
    No facility is completely secure,
    and this was an inevitable accident.
[09:58] ---
    It wasn't my fault.
[10:01] ---
    Hurry up and catch it.
    You're so lucky to get this job.
[10:05] ---
    Hey, this is my first time meeting him,
[10:07] ---
    but what's with this living
    embodiment of rudeness?
[10:09] ---
    He's the director of the VRC!
[10:12] ---
    He's a genius that everyone in the
    field of vampire research knows.
[10:15] ---
    He's also the one who created the
    medicine to treat pseudovampires.
[10:19] ---
    But he prioritizes his own research
[10:21] ---
    above anything else and is always
    making a mess of things.
[10:23] ---
    He creates as much trouble
    as he does good, huh?
[10:26] ---
    Quiet.
[10:27] ---
    I am a great genius, so I won't
    get in trouble no matter what I do.
[10:30] ---
    Vampire Draluc.
[10:32] ---
    You will soon become a subject for
    my research, too. Nice to meet you.
[10:35] ---
    No way. Nice to meet you.
[10:37] ---
    Well, what can you tell us
    about the runaway vampire?
[10:41] ---
    Where do you think it would hide?
[10:42] ---
    How the hell am I supposed to know?
    I'm returning to my research.
[10:46] ---
    Stop troubling this great geniu--
[10:49] ---
    --What did you say? What did you say?!
    --I'll explain! I'll explain!
[10:51] ---
    Even a great genius
    yields to violence, huh?
[10:57] ---
    Th-That vampiric bug gives off
    strong attraction pheromones.
[11:01] ---
    Attraction?
[11:02] ---
    In other words,
[11:04] ---
    those who become its host become super
    popular, especially with the opposite sex.
[11:07] ---
    What? I want that!
[11:08] ---
    If you see someone who wasn't popular
    before become popular suddenly,
[11:11] ---
    then you've found its host.
[11:13] ---
    Also, it attaches at the abdomen,
    so it looks like giant testicles.
[11:18] ---
    Never mind, I don't want that!
[11:21] ---
    But to become popular in exchange for
    an extra two hanging off your abdomen...
[11:25] ---
    It's an extreme decision.
[11:27] ---
    I don't think there's an idiot who
    wants to be popular that badly.
[11:29] ---
    Hey, Ronaldo, what a coincidence!
[11:31] ---
    Idiot!
[11:32] ---
    You've become the host of a vampiric bug!
    That thing is what's attracting the girls!
[11:37] ---
    It's unseemly for a man to be jealous.
[11:38] ---
    He's like a warped tanuki statue.
[11:42] ---
    Starting tonight, my style is the only
    justice that will achieve love!
[11:49] ---
    Y-You're really okay with that?
[11:51] ---
    Shut up! I'll say it again!
[11:53] ---
    I'm starting to climb... the hill
    to becoming popular with girls!
[11:57] ---
    Bubuo, you're so cool!
[11:59] ---
    You smell wild!
[12:02] ---
    Why are you trying to act cool, moron?!
[12:03] ---
    Your hair smells like an unwashed dog.
[12:07] ---
    Poor guy.
[12:08] ---
    Oh, no. Let's go!
[12:09] ---
    Right. The next victim will also be fun!
[12:13] ---
    Refined, cute, and cool!
[12:14] ---
    A dandy who doesn't hide how it really is.
[12:17] ---
    My time... The generation has awakened!
[12:21] ---
    You too?! Idiot! Manager idiot!
[12:25] ---
    Dad...
[12:26] ---
    Bubuo, do you know why
    you stopped being popular?
[12:34] ---
    You forgot your faith and love of girls--
[12:38] ---
    That's not it!
[12:39] ---
    If that's the case, you won't be
    popular no matter what you do!
[12:42] ---
    Like you can lecture your son.
[12:44] ---
    A real-life middle-aged man
    shouldn't get so excited.
[12:47] ---
    Don't create any more sad victims!
[12:50] ---
    There it is, Ronaldo!
[12:51] ---
    All right, check--
[12:54] ---
    Oh, dear, my nose slipped.
[12:57] ---
    Bastard!
[12:59] ---
    I've heard about what's going on.
[13:01] ---
    If I just put this thing on,
    the world will be my boob oyster!
[13:05] ---
    Stop that! You're already
    a walking dirty joke!
[13:09] ---
    --So cute!
    --Trumpet!
[13:11] ---
    --Am I in paradise?
[13:12] ---
    --Oh my, you're so cute!
    --Am I in paradise?
[13:14] ---
    Your skin is so supple.
[13:18] ---
    No...!
[13:22] ---
    Oh, he's cooled down!
[13:23] ---
    --Yer a shiny handsome man, aren't ya?
    --Stop! The vampiric bug
    isn't on me anymore!
[13:28] ---
    --Show us yer undies!
    --Stop! The vampiric bug
    isn't on me anymore!
[13:29] ---
    --Show us yer undies!
    --Don't you think there are
    more people gathering now?
[13:31] ---
    That vampiric bug's powers are growing.
    We need to hurry up and catch it.
[13:35] ---
    Whoa, it's gotten faster!
[13:40] ---
    Damn it... It's hard to
    survive on fish blood...
[13:45] ---
    I might be better off swiping
    some human food...
[13:49] ---
    Just thinking that means that I
    must have already fallen very far...
[13:55] ---
    Th-That's not true.
[13:58] ---
    Right now, I am just waiting
    for my chance for vengeance.
[14:01] ---
    One of these days, I'll cut down
    those hunters. And that ball--
[14:05] ---
    "Marriage Registration"
[14:06] ---
    "Marriage Registration"
    You've got a nice body, mister!
[14:08] ---
    Tokimeki tonight with me!
[14:10] ---
    Sex and the city!
[14:20] ---
    Wee-wee?
[14:22] ---
    You dare appear again, exhibitionist?!
    Full-out public indecency!
[14:25] ---
    Th-That's not it!
[14:26] ---
    Hey, it looks like another
    pervert appeared.
[14:29] ---
    We should go after the vampiric bug first!
[14:31] ---
    Oh, my! What's with this vampiric bug?
    It's covering my flowers!
[14:36] ---
    Stop! Don't pollinate me!
[14:39] ---
    What kind of situation is this?
[14:42] ---
    Completely naked with just flowers on
    the crotch is a gallant and cool style...
[14:46] ---
    Wake up, idiot!
[14:48] ---
    That vampiric bug's powers
    have gotten even stronger!
[14:51] ---
    There's no gender or species
    distinction in the attraction!
[14:57] ---
    Oh, no! John...!
[15:03] ---
    This is...
[15:05] ---
    ...such an intense power of attraction.
[15:11] ---
    Oh... John...
[15:14] ---
    Lord John...
[15:16] ---
    The vampiric bug's power of
    attraction raised to its highest limit
[15:20] ---
    and John's natural attraction
    are resonating with each other...
[15:26] ---
    Sand...
[15:33] ---
    Lord John... Lord John... Lord John...
[15:41] ---
    The day of promise has come...
[15:44] ---
    The time has come for all humanity
    to receive salvation and "nu."
[15:50] ---
    Now, everyone. Let us pray...
[15:56] ---
    Nunen.
[16:01] ---
    Hm... It calmed down
    after getting full, huh?
[16:05] ---
    I got some good data, fools.
[16:09] ---
    All's well that ends well!
[16:10] ---
    All's not well!
[16:12] ---
    Nunen.
[16:15] ---
    "Draluc's All Night Shin-Yoko"
[16:17] ---
    "Draluc's All Night Shin-Yoko"
    All Night Shin-Yoko!
[16:20] ---
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
[16:22] ---
    Now, tonight's All Night
    Shin-Yoko has begun!
[16:26] ---
    It will be brought to you by
    the handsome vampire, Draluc,
[16:28] ---
    and the embodiment of "round,"
    the armadillo, John!
[16:33] ---
    Now, let's start by reading
    some listener mail.
[16:36] ---
    Our first letter is from "Dral,"
    who lives in Shin-Yokohama.
[16:40] ---
    The celery I got from Handa
    has turned vampiric.
[16:44] ---
    What should I do?
[16:47] ---
    Sorry to hear that! Let's ask those
    in the studio for their ideas, too.
[16:52] ---
    Ronaldo in the studio, what do you think
    we should do about vampiric vegetables?
[16:58] ---
    Huh? I don't know.
    Do whatever you want, moron.
[17:02] ---
    Toss!
[17:06] ---
    We'll take a trip outside the studio!
[17:09] ---
    All Night Shin-Yoko.
[17:12] ---
    The next segment is
    "Please Tell Me, Hunter!"
[17:15] ---
    so I've come to the Hunters Guild!
[17:19] ---
    Welcome.
[17:20] ---
    What's going on?
[17:21] ---
    In this segment, I'd like to ask the
    hunters everyday questions frankly!
[17:26] ---
    Looks like you've got a lot of
    free time again, huh, Draluc?
[17:29] ---
    First, let's talk to Shin-Yokohama's
    sea-anemone-hair guy, Shot.
[17:34] ---
    Shot, you like hairy girls, right?
    What kind of hairiness turns you on?
[17:39] ---
    Don't you have other
    things you could ask?!
[17:41] ---
    Other things? Like what?
[17:43] ---
    Huh? Well, everyone's
    interested in me, right?
[17:48] ---
    So like, "Why is Shot
    so cool?" or something...
[17:52] ---
    Next, we have Shin-Yokohama's
    flea-hearted arm guy.
[17:55] ---
    H-Hey, wait! I'll think of
    something better! Okay?
[17:59] ---
    Like, "What's the theme
    of Shot's costume?"
[18:02] ---
    Or like, "The hook shots
    under his sleeves"--
[18:04] ---
    Hey, look over here! Damn it...
[18:07] ---
    J-John!
[18:09] ---
    I love it when girls accidentally miss
    a spot when shaving their pits!
[18:13] ---
    That's just gross.
[18:17] ---
    All Night Shin-Yoko.
[18:24] ---
    Now, our next target is the duck who's
    always there on the edge of the screen!
[18:30] ---
    I've always wondered--
    why do you wear a duck costume?
[18:33] ---
    Hey, don't ask Mr. Vamone
    something so rude.
[18:37] ---
    Yeah, Mr. Vamone's an amazing person!
[18:40] ---
    He's partial to wearing a duck costume,
[18:41] ---
    but he's an experienced hunter who
    has defeated all kinds of vampires.
[18:46] ---
    The slashes he sends out with his special
    long sword "Leek" are incredible!
[18:50] ---
    He's eliminated the most
    vampires in Shin-Yoko
[18:52] ---
    and is super popular
    with people of all ages!
[18:54] ---
    What does "partial to wearing
    a duck costume" mean?
[18:57] ---
    The one who took Ronaldo on
    as an apprentice and trained him
[19:00] ---
    was also Mr. Vamone.
[19:02] ---
    What does "partial to wearing
    a duck costume" mean?
[19:04] ---
    He was also my comrade-in-arms
    who stood on the front lines with me
[19:08] ---
    when I was still on active duty.
[19:10] ---
    What does "partial to wearing
    a duck costume" mean?
[19:12] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
[19:14] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
[19:15] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone ♪
[19:17] ---
    ♪ Mr. Vamone ♪
[19:22] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
[19:25] ---
    ♪ Mr. Vamone of Shin-Yokohama ♪
[19:28] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
[19:31] ---
    ♪ Dependable hunter, Mr. Vamone ♪
[19:34] ---
    ♪ Vamone, Vamone, Mr. Vamone ♪
[19:37] ---
    ♪ He'll defeat the bad vampires ♪
[19:40] ---
    ♪ Tremble and sleep, villains ♪
[19:44] ---
    ♪ Next time, it might be your turn ♪
[19:47] ---
    Apparently, he created this
    dance for PR as a hobby.
[19:49] ---
    He really is partial to it, huh?
[19:52] ---
    Well, a hunter's costume is really just an
    amalgamation of what we're partial to...
[19:56] ---
    So you're just partial to that shirt
    that looks like a bra hook?
[19:59] ---
    Oh, yeah, I also thought that was a bra.
[20:01] ---
    What?!
[20:03] ---
    All Night Shin-Yoko!
[20:09] ---
    Now, let's take this chance
    to ask all of our questions!
[20:14] ---
    Maria, why do you wear a nun's habit,
    even though you work as a hunter?
[20:18] ---
    It's because if I wear a hunting
    vest and carry a hunting gun,
[20:20] ---
    then I won't look like a hunter.
[20:22] ---
    That's true.
[20:23] ---
    What about you, Homerun Batter?
    Why do you wear those clothes?
[20:26] ---
    I'm partial to them!
[20:27] ---
    Um, what about you people who are sometimes
    in the background...? Who are you?
[20:30] ---
    Your description is too heartless.
[20:33] ---
    "Inventor Hunter - Medoki"
    I'm Medoki. I'm a hunter,
    but I also work at a hunter goods shop.
[20:36] ---
    "Hunter - Shoka"
    Wake up, Shoka!
[20:38] ---
    "Hunter - Shoka"
    I'm sleepy...
[20:39] ---
    "Hunter - Shoka"
    This is a new item! Vampire Garlic Spray!
[20:40] ---
    This is a new item! Vampire Garlic Spray!
[20:42] ---
    Sand!
[20:44] ---
    Why do you wear those clothes?
[20:45] ---
    I'm partial to them!
[20:46] ---
    Do you two want to try?
[20:48] ---
    Sand...!
[20:51] ---
    Ta Chan, are you partial
    to your clothes, too?
[20:53] ---
    Oh, what about your clothes?
    Are you partial to them, too?
[20:56] ---
    You should wear them
    every day then, scrawny!
[20:58] ---
    Sand!
[20:59] ---
    --Are you partial to that bra, too?
[21:00] ---
    --Yes.
    --Are you partial to that bra, too?
[21:01] ---
    I'm not partial to your face, though!
[21:03] ---
    Sand!
[21:04] ---
    A vampire!
[21:05] ---
    Why did you come in? Are you stupid?
[21:09] ---
    You're shameless,
    coming into the guild like that!
[21:11] ---
    Surround the vampire!
[21:12] ---
    Damn it, I'll kill you!
[21:16] ---
    Let's go home, John.
[21:19] ---
    All Night Shin-Yoko.
[21:24] ---
    Oh, that was fun.
[21:28] ---
    Now, I hate to say this, but it's about
    time for All Night Shin-Yoko to end.
[21:33] ---
    Let's meet again--
[21:35] ---
    Sand!
[21:39] ---
    ...next time!
[21:47] ---
    "The world transforms"
[21:50] ---
    Leave this place to me, Ronaldo.
[21:54] ---
    I believe.
[21:56] ---
    I'll fight!
[21:58] ---
    Shot...
[22:00] ---
    He believed in me!
[22:02] ---
    Stand up! You call yourself a hunter?!
[22:06] ---
    The vampire dies in no time.