E2 - From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Yeah, I've pretty much defeated
    all the vampires around here.
[00:06] ---
    It's a tiny town, but I hear
    they've got a lot of vampires.
[00:11] ---
    That's fine. I'll exterminate them all.
[01:49] ---
    "From Tokyo to Neo-Bayside"
[01:55] ---
    So this is Shin-Yokohama...
[01:58] ---
    My new battlefield.
[02:08] ---
    Who's that?
[02:09] ---
    It's the guy from Tokyo
    they said was coming today...
[02:11] ---
    Oh, the dhampir!
[02:13] ---
    "Vampire Hunter
    Mikazuki Kagomehara"
[02:13] ---
    I'm Mikazuki Kagomehara. Nice to meet you.
[02:16] ---
    Yes, nice to meet you.
[02:19] ---
    Welcome to the Shin-Yokohama guild!
[02:21] ---
    Welcome.
[02:22] ---
    You came such a long way from Tokyo!
[02:24] ---
    We're really thankful!
[02:26] ---
    They all sound like they're trying
    to butter me up.
[02:28] ---
    It pisses me off.
[02:30] ---
    Let's do our best together!
[02:32] ---
    I didn't come here to make friends.
[02:35] ---
    I came here to exterminate
    the vampires of this town.
[02:38] ---
    And to make up for you all not doing your jobs.
[02:41] ---
    That's Tokyo for ya! You know just what to say!
[02:43] ---
    He's so passionate!
[02:45] ---
    So dependable!
[02:46] ---
    Do these guys have no pride?
[02:48] ---
    What's with this rude brat?
[02:51] ---
    You're the rude one!
[02:53] ---
    Sand...!
[02:55] ---
    You've reached the Shin-Yokohama Hunters Guild.
[02:59] ---
    Everyone, we've got a job.
[03:04] ---
    I feel the presence of
    a vampire. This way!
[03:07] ---
    "Inferior Vampire - Eight-Eyed Leech"
[03:11] ---
    This prey's not bad.
[03:13] ---
    Get back!
[03:17] ---
    Pseudo-Kagomehara Style, Armed Deployment!
[03:22] ---
    Sword-Drawing Technique 1, Tsukuyomi!
[03:30] ---
    Shoka! Just now, Mikazuki tried to do
    some kind of ultimate move, didn't he?!
[03:35] ---
    Isn't that unnecessary for small fry?
[03:36] ---
    Hey, what's "armed deployment"?
[03:38] ---
    Idiot, shut up!
[03:40] ---
    Does yelling making you stronger or something?
[03:42] ---
    I told you to stop!
[03:44] ---
    "Inferior Vampire
    Shin-Yoko Galapagos Finch"
[03:47] ---
    Fresh troops?!
[03:48] ---
    Armed Deployment!
[03:52] ---
    Wh-What are they?!
[03:54] ---
    Oh? A new vampire hunter?
[03:55] ---
    "Vampire - Nudenium"
[03:57] ---
    What's with this pervert?!
[03:59] ---
    Oh, he's a good guy, so you don't
    have to exterminate him.
[04:02] ---
    A good guy?!
[04:04] ---
    Isn't it a wonderful night, Hunters?
[04:06] ---
    What are you doing, Old Man Nude?
[04:08] ---
    I came to distribute baby Nudeniums
    as part of the greenery campaign.
[04:13] ---
    Even if he's a good guy, if he does something
    bad, you've gotta take care of him.
[04:15] ---
    Like this!
[04:17] ---
    A superior vampire who can control plants?!
    Why is someone so dangerous--?
[04:23] ---
    Mikazuki!
[04:24] ---
    "Do Not Climb"
[04:25] ---
    "Do Not Climb"
    "Vampire - Etiquette Breacher"
[04:26] ---
    I'll embarrass you hunters!
[04:29] ---
    You bastard! I'll exterminate you!
[04:31] ---
    Armed Deploym--
[04:35] ---
    So lame!
[04:39] ---
    Didn't I tell you to stop doing stuff like that?
[04:41] ---
    You must be surprised by how
    many vampires there are here.
[04:44] ---
    It's hard coming to Shin-Yoko
    after being in Tokyo.
[04:46] ---
    And all we get are these
    weird superior vampires.
[04:50] ---
    The vampire sealed inside Tokoya
    Shrine is drawing them here.
[04:53] ---
    Don't feed him rumors!
[04:55] ---
    It's true that we need help
    because we never get anyone new.
[04:57] ---
    So we're really happy that you're here.
[05:02] ---
    That's right! So cheer up, okay?
[05:05] ---
    These guys...
[05:06] ---
    They think I'm a pleasant sight...
[05:09] ---
    They're looking at me warmly, like how people
    working for black companies look
[05:13] ---
    when they finally get a new employee...!
[05:17] ---
    Mikazuki!
[05:19] ---
    Don't underestimate me!
    I'm a first-class hunter!
[05:24] ---
    I feel the presence of a strong vampire...!
[05:29] ---
    Vampires! I will exterminate you!
SIGN    "Vampire - Transparent Lower Body" "Vampire - Micro Bikini" "Vampire - Yakyuken Lover"
[05:31] ---
    What, you a hunter?
[05:34] ---
    You've got some nerve.
[05:36] ---
    Yay!
[05:37] ---
    Armed Deploy--
[05:38] ---
    Nice to meet you! Yoyoinoyoi!
[05:42] ---
    My body just started playing
    strip rock-paper-scissors!
[05:44] ---
    And I will give you a new outfit!
[05:47] ---
    A pervert!
[05:51] ---
    I'm a good vampire,
[05:54] ---
    so I'll just take pictures and
    post them on social media.
[05:57] ---
    Stop it!
[05:58] ---
    Mikazuki!
[06:00] ---
    You idiot vampires!
    Don't bully our new hunter!
[06:04] ---
    I'll send you all flying, so line up over there!
[06:06] ---
    Sounds fun. I'll beat you at your own game.
[06:09] ---
    Humans, today's the day
    you'll surrender to my bikinis!
[06:15] ---
    Are you all right, Mikazuki?!
[06:19] ---
    I'm pathetic... I didn't know anything...
[06:24] ---
    I looked down on you all.
[06:26] ---
    On top of that, I was exposed
    so shamefully like this...
[06:31] ---
    I'm so unsightly...
[06:33] ---
    Th-That's not true!
    You did good, Mikazuki!
[06:37] ---
    We ended up in bikinis before, too.
[06:39] ---
    You're much better than Shot
    when he first got here!
[06:41] ---
    You sound like you're picking a fight, Ronaldo.
[06:46] ---
    Let's do our best together from now on, okay?
[06:55] ---
    Today, I learned of my own inexperience.
[06:59] ---
    But that's fine. I'll become stronger--
[07:02] ---
    Are you a hunter?
[07:05] ---
    Perfect timing.
    It's not my nature to end on a loss.
[07:10] ---
    If you want to fight,
    I won't hold back... vampire!
[07:13] ---
    Armed Deploy--
[07:15] ---
    You're my type!
[07:21] ---
    Hmm...
[07:23] ---
    Mikazuki said he's going back to Tokyo.
[07:26] ---
    Mikazuki!
[07:29] ---
    I can't take any more of this town.
[07:33] ---
    "Exciting Draluc Surveillance Diary"
[07:33] ---
    I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
    Police Vampire Control Division.
SIGN    "Kanagawa Prefectural Police Vampire Control Division Vice-Captain Hinaichi"
[07:38] ---
    Tonight, I will continue my surveillance
    mission of the vampire, Draluc.
[07:43] ---
    Why did you come out of the floor?!
    Come in through the door, idiot!
[07:47] ---
    Because you've been making
    hiding places in the floor,
[07:49] ---
    the office floor's been rickety!
[07:52] ---
    Since I was interrupted, once again,
[07:54] ---
    I am Hinaichi of the Kanagawa Prefectural
    Police Vampire Control Division.
[07:56] ---
    Hey, listen!
[07:58] ---
    Now, I will begin my mission to conduct
    surveillance on the vampire, Draluc.
[08:03] ---
    Vampires sleep in coffins during
    the day and awaken at night.
[08:08] ---
    Draluc is no exception.
[08:14] ---
    It's a wonderful evening, isn't it, Miss?
[08:18] ---
    Were you waiting for me to awaken?
[08:21] ---
    If you're baring the nape of your
    neck for me to break my fas--
[08:23] ---
    The room's so cold! Sand!
[08:27] ---
    The remote! The remote!
    The remote! The remote!
[08:34] ---
    This is the object of my surveillance,
    the vampire, Draluc.
[08:37] ---
    He dies at every little thing and turns to dust.
[08:41] ---
    He's the weakest vampire in the world.
[08:44] ---
    Oh, dear.
[08:46] ---
    Why am I surveilling someone like that?
    Please don't ask.
[08:50] ---
    Help me, Ronaldo!
[08:53] ---
    My pets have turned into vampires.
[08:55] ---
    Do something about it.
[08:56] ---
    Very well! I, the vampire, Draluc,
    will use Ronaldo to take on that job!
[09:02] ---
    Really?!
[09:03] ---
    Thanks!
[09:05] ---
    If Draluc thinks something sounds interesting,
    he will meddle, even if it's hunter work.
[09:10] ---
    These are Hercules beetle larvae.
[09:13] ---
    Did they all turn into vampires?!
[09:15] ---
    It looks like some haven't.
[09:17] ---
    I dunno.
[09:18] ---
    Sort through them for us.
[09:19] ---
    It's not like sorting aluminum and steel cans!
[09:21] ---
    I have a game I must play,
    so I'll take my leave--
[09:24] ---
    Damn you, scum!
[09:25] ---
    Okay, I'll come back and get them tomorrow!
[09:27] ---
    --Later!
    --See ya!
[09:28] ---
    Wait a minute, you damn kids!
[09:31] ---
    Now, what shall I do while Ronaldo
    is sifting through the grubs?
[09:36] ---
    It seems Draluc can be too hedonistic sometimes.
[09:40] ---
    I must tell him to refrain from
    actions that could invite trouble.
[09:45] ---
    I've got an apple. Shall I bake a cake?
[09:49] ---
    That sounds nice. I want some!
[09:55] ---
    It's so yummy!
[09:56] ---
    What the hell did you come here to do?!
[09:59] ---
    Damn it! This would be so much
    easier if Handa were here...
[10:05] ---
    John! That's so nice of you!
[10:11] ---
    Hello, and thanks for watching
    Shabu-Shabu Videos!
[10:14] ---
    Today, I'll play a game
    I just bought the other day.
[10:18] ---
    Even though he's a vampire
    who has lived a long time,
[10:20] ---
    Draluc has adapted well to modern life.
[10:24] ---
    "I want a 'nu' channel"
    "the armadillo's cute"
[10:27] ---
    I'm intentionally not using the target lock
    and sticking close to the enemy!
[10:30] ---
    My best chance to attack
    comes after the dodge roll!
[10:33] ---
    What is he talking about?
[10:35] ---
    Sometimes I feel like he's adapted too well.
[10:38] ---
    Hinaichi, you try, too.
[10:41] ---
    I don't really know what I'm doing!
SIGN    "My little Dra-Dra..." "I won't allow it" "you're married?" "my precious little Dra-Dra" "you died after that"
SIGN    "lets set this on fire" "completely inexcusable" "sinner dra-dra" "let's burn this" "I won't watch your streams anymore!"
SIGN    "Goodbye little Dra-Dra" "count your sins" "I won't forgive you even if you cry" "don't make him cry" "John stream next week"
[10:45] ---
    Oh, no! They're angry now!
[10:48] ---
    Sand...
[10:49] ---
    John, put out the fire!
[10:52] ---
    "Nu"
    "Nu"
    "Nu" "Nu"
[10:55] ---
    Now, Shabu-viewers, bye-bye!
[11:02] ---
    Draluc, you...
[11:04] ---
    ...aren't like a vampire at all, huh?
[11:07] ---
    Sand...
[11:10] ---
    Oh, dear. Human foolishness is irredeemable!
[11:14] ---
    Very well! I'll show you how vampire-like I am
    and sear the image into your mind!
[11:20] ---
    He's in kind of a weird mood now.
[11:23] ---
    First, I can resurrect immediately after I die!
[11:26] ---
    But then you'll die again right away.
[11:28] ---
    And look at these sharp fangs!
[11:30] ---
    I've never seen you use them.
[11:32] ---
    And these pointy ears! If I try
    really hard, I can move them a little.
[11:38] ---
    "Vampire"
[11:38] ---
    "Vampire-like characteristics"...
[11:46] ---
    Here's your proof!
    This is what vampires are like!
[11:49] ---
    "Transform"
    "Fly"
    "Suck Blood" "Tsujigiri" "Lewd Talk" "Other"
[11:50] ---
    They transform! Fly! Suck blood!
[11:53] ---
    First, I'll transform into a bat! Here!
[11:57] ---
    One more!
[11:59] ---
    Never give up!
[12:00] ---
    Is this hell?
[12:01] ---
    And then, flying!
[12:03] ---
    Don't give in to your despair!
[12:05] ---
    "Old-Man-Legs Ostrich"
[12:11] ---
    Somehow, I got away with just a fatal injury.
[12:14] ---
    I'm sorry, okay?
[12:17] ---
    Now, last is the long-awaited blood sucking...
[12:22] ---
    This is a Special Grade-1 AOC-certified
    bottle of lifeblood my father sent.
[12:26] ---
    I'm opening this.
[12:30] ---
    The blood is from a special
    virgin donor in her 20s
[12:30] ---
    "Luxury"
[12:32] ---
    with type B blood who went
    through a vigorous screening.
[12:36] ---
    Using an alternating-day donation
    blood collection method,
[12:37] ---
    it's a non-blended bottle that
    you rarely see these days!
[12:40] ---
    More than just the price,
[12:42] ---
    it's a special product that hardly
    ever appears on the market!
[12:44] ---
    And I'm opening it!
    Even though it's not even my birthday!
[12:48] ---
    You don't have to open it if you don't want to.
[12:50] ---
    I've already decided!
[12:52] ---
    I'll show you I can suck blood like a vampire!
[12:55] ---
    You don't attack humans
    like a vampire, though, huh?
[12:58] ---
    Now! O-Open!
[13:01] ---
    O-O-Open, open!
[13:04] ---
    I'll open it for you.
[13:07] ---
    Here you go.
[13:11] ---
    I finally finished sorting them, damn it.
[13:16] ---
    Sand...
[13:18] ---
    Oh, sorry, Draluc!
[13:21] ---
    Painful, but delicious!
[13:22] ---
    You little-- Hey, the room's
    gonna smell like blood--
[13:27] ---
    Get away, you inferior vampires!
    This is mine--!
[13:31] ---
    Oh, sand...!
[13:32] ---
    Draluc!
[13:42] ---
    My name is Herakuro Kingdom!
[13:44] ---
    "Vampiric Beetle Colony King
    Herakuro Kingdom"
[13:46] ---
    Humans...!
[13:51] ---
    Vampires are supernatural beings.
[13:54] ---
    They can be threatened
    by even the smallest things.
[13:58] ---
    I fight to defend against those threats.
[14:01] ---
    Help me clean!
[14:03] ---
    Oh, my. That was rough.
[14:07] ---
    Shall I bake some cookies as a diversion?
[14:10] ---
    Would you like some, Hinaichi?
[14:13] ---
    Yes, please!
[14:15] ---
    "Shin-Yokohama Police Station"
[14:15] ---
    And so... the cookies were delicious!
[14:20] ---
    Don't let the cookies
    overwrite all your memories.
[14:23] ---
    "Vampiric"
[14:23] ---
    And here's a souvenir.
[14:25] ---
    No thanks!
[14:27] ---
    I like donuts, too!
[14:30] ---
    
    "Closed Today"
    "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
SIGN    "Quest of Soul Gate: Investigators of the Soul" "Closed Today" "Ronaldo Vampire Hunter Agency"
[14:31] ---
    Ronaldo's out shopping today, so he's not here!
[14:36] ---
    Right now, this is my castle.
[14:38] ---
    Speaking of which, today's a full moon, John.
[14:41] ---
    Moon viewing while playing
    video games is fun, too.
[14:45] ---
    Mr. Fukuma?! Sand...
[14:48] ---
    Excuse me for coming so late at night.
[14:51] ---
    Ronaldo isn't home! You should hurry
    if you want to catch him!
[14:54] ---
    No, I'm here for you today, Draluc.
[14:57] ---
    Me?
[14:58] ---
    Draluc, will you try writing a game review?
[15:03] ---
    I heard that you know a lot about games.
[15:07] ---
    I'd like to ask you to write a review for
    a new project for our gaming magazine.
[15:11] ---
    As expected of Mr. Fukuma!
    You have a discerning eye!
[15:13] ---
    I'll write the best review you've ever seen.
[15:16] ---
    Thank you very much.
[15:17] ---
    The game we'd like you to review
    is called Quest of Soul Gate--
[15:22] ---
    Oh? Do you know it?
[15:24] ---
    W-Well, um...
[15:26] ---
    Of course I know it!
[15:28] ---
    It's an infamous ultra-shitty game
    said to rot your brain in five minutes!
[15:33] ---
    D-Did you choose this game, Mr. Fukuma?
[15:36] ---
    No. It was recommended
    by the editor-in-chief.
[15:39] ---
    Sand...!
[15:41] ---
    V-Very well. I will contact
    you once I finish it--
[15:44] ---
    Editor-in-Chief, I'm working on the game
    project, so I won't be back to the office today.
[15:49] ---
    What?!
[15:51] ---
    I'm embarrassed to admit this,
    but I don't often play video games.
[15:55] ---
    Please allow me to watch for future reference.
[15:58] ---
    This is bad. If I disparage this game, I will be
    disparaging the editor-in-chief's choice!
[16:03] ---
    That is to say, I'll be making enemies out of
    a group of people armed with battle axes!
[16:08] ---
    No matter how shitty this game is,
    my only choice is to praise its socks off!
[16:12] ---
    I'm looking forward to seeing
    what kind of game this is...
[16:25] ---
    First shitty element: A load time long enough
    for you to go to the bathroom.
[16:29] ---
    What are we waiting for?
[16:31] ---
    This is the time to train your spirit!
[16:33] ---
    It's a wonderful system that allows you
    to foster patience before you start playing!
[16:38] ---
    It reminds me of our New
    Employee Training Program.
[16:41] ---
    We were locked in a dark
    and silent room for three days.
[16:44] ---
    Only those who could stay calm through
    that were worthy of becoming editors.
[16:50] ---
    What a profound game this is
    that it even includes training.
[16:52] ---
    Y-Yes...
[16:54] ---
    Hurry up and come home, Ronaldo!
    Come act as an intermediary!
[16:58] ---
    Oh, the load--I mean, training time is over.
[17:02] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[17:05] ---
    Second shitty element:
    Volume control is rough!
[17:09] ---
    Oh, it's too loud! Sand...
[17:11] ---
    Excuse me, what did you say?
[17:14] ---
    An explosion of sound that creates
    a sense of realism!
[17:16] ---
    This audio clipping is the perfect spice!
[17:18] ---
    Incidentally, what kind of story
    does this game have?
[17:22] ---
    Oh, I think the summary was in the booklet.
[17:27] ---
    Third shitty element: A story that sounds like
    it was written by a third grader.
[17:33] ---
    It appears to be the story of the main character
    exploring a Western-style house.
[17:36] ---
    So simple.
[17:38] ---
    Oh, we're finally in the main story.
    Apparently, this is the main character.
[17:43] ---
    Fourth shitty element: The main character looks
    completely different from the packaging.
[17:49] ---
    Th-The philosophical character design that
    brings to mind modern art is wonderful.
[17:53] ---
    I see. It's very avant-garde.
[17:56] ---
    These jerky movements!
[17:59] ---
    That's a unique way of walking.
[18:00] ---
    Th-The unique handling shows how
    original it is down to the very system!
[18:09] ---
    You die irrationally easily!
[18:12] ---
    That's right! You never know when
    the flame of life will be extinguished!
[18:17] ---
    It's so realistic!
[18:19] ---
    You look like you're dying, too.
[18:21] ---
    Excuse me. I'm empathizing too much.
    I'll pull myself back together and--
[18:25] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[18:28] ---
    Why is this shitty game starting
    again from the beginning?!
[18:33] ---
    It leaves a stronger impression
    by repeating the same footage.
[18:36] ---
    In music, it's called a refrain!
[18:38] ---
    Once it's "game over,"
    you'll understand its worth!
[18:43] ---
    Building on the experience
    from earlier and moving on...
[18:51] ---
    The quest soul gate is opening now! Wow!
[18:53] ---
    Oh, damn it!
[18:57] ---
    Please excuse me. It seems I lacked focus.
[19:00] ---
    Draluc.
[19:01] ---
    Yes?
[19:02] ---
    Is it that you actually think
    this game is boring?
[19:05] ---
    What?! Of course not, I would never!
[19:08] ---
    Since you're making mistakes,
[19:10] ---
    I thought it might be because
    you aren't engrossed in the game.
[19:12] ---
    N-No... I-It's just...
[19:20] ---
    It's just that I was distracted
    trying to review it.
[19:24] ---
    An instant-death trap that can't be
    distinguished from the background!
[19:27] ---
    A surprising trick to keep
    players on their toes!
[19:30] ---
    Unfair death on first play!
[19:33] ---
    A wake-up call to the tepid games made
    in recent years! A pioneer for a new era!
[19:39] ---
    This is...!
[19:40] ---
    
    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:40] ---
    The same graphic used for all the characters.
[19:42] ---
    And if you don't talk to them in
    the right order, you'll get confused!
[19:45] ---
    "It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:46] ---
    A sharp game balance that doesn't
    allow you to play carelessly!
[19:50] ---
    "It's dangerous there" "Kill the enemy" "Hey"
    "I love you, Sword" "That's fate"
[19:52] ---
    Frequently occurring freezes!
[19:54] ---
    It's all right. You're just
    a little tired, right?
[19:57] ---
    You should still have the spirit
    to stand up again!
[20:03] ---
    Finally!
[20:05] ---
    I've reached the boss.
[20:07] ---
    You play wonderfully, Draluc.
[20:11] ---
    Once this door is opened, the final event--
[20:15] ---
    "Please enter text here"
[20:17] ---
    Gigaton-sized shitty element:
    Incomplete final event.
[20:25] ---
    Draluc?
[20:27] ---
    Mr. Fukuma.
[20:29] ---
    I have finally understood
    the message of this game.
[20:33] ---
    Namely, that there is no such thing as
    completely finishing something in this world!
[20:38] ---
    The cheap goals you show other people
    are nothing more than illusions!
[20:42] ---
    There may come a day when you must
    face inequity, embrace sadness,
[20:45] ---
    and fall to your knees in front of
    a wall you can't do anything about.
[20:49] ---
    But even so, our path continues!
[20:52] ---
    It can be sophistry or lies!
    Find meaning in setbacks and despair--!
[20:57] ---
    Shut up, Dra--!
[21:00] ---
    M-Mr. Fukuma, why are you here?
[21:02] ---
    I turned in my manuscript already, didn't I?
[21:05] ---
    I'm here today on a job for our game magazine.
[21:08] ---
    It's for a new project proposed
    by the editor-in-chief:
[21:10] ---
    "Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews."
[21:12] ---
    I came for Draluc.
[21:14] ---
    Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
    Ultra-Shitty Game Reviews...
[21:18] ---
    Ultra-Shitty Game... Reviews...
[21:22] ---
    Th-That sounds like another crazy project...
[21:24] ---
    Sand!
[21:31] ---
    Not bad for an amateur, I guess.
[21:35] ---
    Yes, yes, thanks for your compliment.
[21:39] ---
    Yes, hello, hello?
[21:41] ---
    This is Fukuma.
[21:42] ---
    Your review was very well-received.
[21:45] ---
    O-Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
[21:48] ---
    Now, about the next "Shitty Game" deadline...
[21:53] ---
    The quest gate is openi--
[23:25] ---
    "Many challenges"
[23:28] ---
    "Insatiable ambition"
[23:31] ---
    Shall I lend you a hand, Miss?
[23:36] ---
    The vampire dies in no time.
[23:39] ---
    
[23:41] ---