E9 - Senpai's Such a Closet Perv!! / There's No Way Creepy Senpai Could Go on a Proper Date!!

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:07] Senpai
    What are you doing?
[00:11] Nagatoro
    Shadow boxing.
[00:17] Nagatoro
    I've been hooked on boxing ever
    since you lent me that Ippo show.
[00:23] Senpai
    I probably shouldn't have showed her that.
[00:29] Nagatoro
    Senpai...
[00:33] Nagatoro
    Be my sparring partner!
[00:37] Senpai
    I-I can't box!
[00:40] Nagatoro
    It's fine!
[00:42] Nagatoro
    You just have to stand there.
[00:45] Senpai
    Like a punching bag?!
[00:52] Senpai
    Boxers aren't supposed to
    hit anyone outside the ring.
[00:55] Nagatoro
    I know that.
[00:57] Nagatoro
    I'll stop right before I hit you.
[00:59] Nagatoro
    Like this!
[01:04] Nagatoro
    Come on. You can hit me back.
[01:08] Senpai
    What am I supposed to do?!
[01:11] Nagatoro
    Come on, come on!
[01:12] Nagatoro
    Senpai!
[01:14] Nagatoro
    H-Hey! You're h-hitting me!
[01:30] Senpai
    S-Sorry!
[01:36] Senpai
    Sh-She's going to beat me to death.
[01:45] Nagatoro
    Of course you would put me in a
    clinch right off the bat, Senpai.
[01:51] Nagatoro
    So that happened.
[01:54] Nagatoro
    Who does he think he is,
    putting me in a clinch?
[01:56] Nagatoro
    It's so creepy, it's hilarious.
[01:58] Yoshi
    Clinch!
[02:00] Sakura
    So skeevy.
[02:02] Gamo
    Huh?
[02:03] Gamo
    The clinch is a perfectly
    fine fighting technique.
[02:06] Nagatoro
    Still, it's pervy.
[02:08] Yoshi
    I want to give him the clinch, too!
[02:12] Sakura
    I don't know about clinching...
[02:17] Sakura
    but I might want to try pinning him.
[02:20] Yoshi
    I give! I give!
[02:22] Nagatoro
    Pinning isn't a thing in boxing.
[02:26] Sakura
    Just a little!
[02:28] Nagatoro
    No!
[02:29] Gamo
    All right, let's go spar with Paisen.
[02:33] Yoshi
    Sparring!
[02:35] Sakura
    Yay!
[02:36] Nagatoro
    Hold it!
[02:37] Sakura
    What's wrong?
[02:46] Nagatoro
    You're not supposed to hit
    anyone outside the ring.
[02:51] Gamo
    Um, what about you?
[02:56] Nagatoro
    I know how to hold back.
[02:59] Gamo
    I'll hold back, too.
SIGN    Art Room
[03:12] Nagatoro
    Senpai, run away!
[03:15] Gamo
    Paisen! Let's spar!
[03:17] Yoshi
    Clinch!
[03:18] Sakura
    Pincer!
[03:19] Senpai
    Wha?!
[03:20] Nagatoro
    Senpai, I'll take care of this!
[03:25] Gamo
    Wanna go?
[03:26] Yoshi
    Go, go!
[03:29] Senpai
    She sounds badass, but...
[03:32] Senpai
    I bet this was her fault, wasn't it?
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME,
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME,
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME,
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME,
SIGN    MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    Senpai's Such a Closet Perv!!
[05:17] Senpai
    I'm so tired...
[05:18] Senpai
    I need healing.
[05:21] Senpai
    I need my oasis.
[05:24] Senpai
    I'll go draw in the club room in peace.
SIGN    Art Room
[05:28] Senpai
    I'll draw.
[05:37] Yoshi
    Seriously?!
[05:39] Yoshi
    A nude! A nude!
[05:42] Gamo
    Let me see.
[05:44] Gamo
    I'm buck naked!
[05:46] Gamo
    Put some clothes on me.
[05:47] Yoshi
    But it's art.
[05:50] Yoshi
    It's Senpai!
[05:51] Senpai
    My oasis...
[05:53] Gamo
    'Sup?
[05:53] Senpai
    is being occupied.
[06:01] Senpai
    Why'd you come to my club
    room just to make a racket?
[06:05] Gamo
    Well, we usually hang out
     in the dining hall,
[06:11] ---
    but there's been this annoying
    group lately that won't shut up.
[06:16] (Flashback) Gamo
    Hey, could you keep it down a bit?
[06:19] (Flashback) Person 1
    Sure, sure.
[06:20] (Flashback) Person 1
    There.
[06:21] (Flashback) Person 1
    Bam.
[06:27] Gamo
    They pretend to listen,
    then they go right back to it.
[06:30] Gamo
    They're so annoying.
[06:33] Nagatoro
    So we decided to chill here instead.
[06:37] Senpai
    This is the art room!
[06:40] Senpai
    I'm surprised, though.
[06:42] Senpai
    I didn't think you'd back
    down without a fight.
[06:45] Senpai
    I thought you would have
    made them shut up.
[06:51] Nagatoro
    You don't get it, Senpai.
[06:55] Gamo
    There's a better way to handle
    it than doing it directly.
[06:59] Yoshi
    Yup.
[07:04] Senpai
    A better way?
[07:06] Nagatoro
    We sent in a saboteur.
[07:11] Person 2
    Dude, why wouldn't you save?!
[07:14] Person 1
    Why would I?
[07:15] Sakura
    Hey, hey...
[07:17] Sakura
    What are you guys up to?
[07:20] Sakura
    Gaming?
[07:21] Sakura
    Teach me! Teach me!
[07:25] Sakura
    Wow!
[07:27] Sakura
    You're too good at teaching.
[07:30] Person 1
    N-Nah, I'm not, really.
[07:33] Sakura
    You're so good.
[07:34] Sakura
    Let's play by ourselves sometime.
[07:37] Person 2
    Sure, I guess.
[07:41] Sakura
    You're so awesome.
[07:42] Sakura
    I think I might fall for you.
[07:45] Person 3
    Y-Yeah?
[07:49] Sakura
    Hey, hey, are you in a relationship?
[07:52] ---
    N-No, I'm not.
[07:55] Nagatoro
    Give it a week, and the group will implode!
[08:02] Gamo
    Then we'll be back in the dining hall.
[08:05] Gamo
    So don't worry, Paisen.
[08:08] Nagatoro
    Men are pitiful creatures, always at
     the mercy of their own horniness.
[08:12] Yoshi
    So sad!
[08:14] Senpai
    I need to make sure I never
    get on their bad side.
[08:17] Gamo
    Senpai doesn't seem horny, though.
[08:22] Gamo
    He's the very picture of an herbivore.
[08:25] Yoshi
    A sheep?!
[08:27] Nagatoro
    Nah.
[08:29] Nagatoro
    Senpai's horny as hell.
[08:32] Nagatoro
    He gets all red as soon as you
    tease him even just a little.
[08:37] Senpai
    Wh-What are you...
[08:39] Nagatoro
    Senpai, want me to kiss you?
[08:42] Senpai
    Wh-What...
[08:44] Nagatoro
    Just kidding.
[08:48] Nagatoro
    See?
[08:50] Nagatoro
    He's beet red thinking
    I was about to kiss him!
[08:52] Nagatoro
    Senpai's such a closet perv.
[08:56] Gamo
    Nah, he's just acting
    awkward like all virgins do.
[09:01] Gamo
    He's an herbivore!
[09:02] Gamo
    He has no libido!
[09:03] Yoshi
    None!
[09:04] Nagatoro
    He does, too!
[09:06] Gamo
    Nope.
[09:07] Nagatoro
    He does!
[09:08] Gamo
    Nope.
[09:09] Nagatoro
    Yes, he does!
[09:16] Yoshi
    Ow!
[09:17] Nagatoro
    Want to make a bet, then?
[09:19] Gamo
    A bet?
[09:21] Nagatoro
    Senpai is hiding...
[09:26] Nagatoro
    dirty books in this room!
[09:28] Senpai
    Huh?!
[09:29] Nagatoro
    If I find it, I win.
[09:31] Nagatoro
    The loser has to buy pancakes.
[09:34] Gamo
    That sounds fun.
[09:35] Gamo
    Challenge accepted.
[09:43] Senpai
    Y-You're not going to find any dirty books!
[09:46] Nagatoro
    That was a suspicious reaction.
SIGN    Announcer
[09:51] Yoshi
    What do you think, commentator Gamo-chan?
[09:53] Gamo
    He's clean.
[09:55] Gamo
    Paisen is just acting sus, like usual.
[09:58] Nagatoro
    No!
[10:00] Nagatoro
    He's freaking out because
     I'm about to find his dirty books!
[10:03] Yoshi
    What's your take?
[10:04] Gamo
    No way.
[10:05] Gamo
    It's not possible.
[10:07] Nagatoro
    Yes, it is!
[10:08] Nagatoro
    I'm going to find it!
[10:10] Senpai
    I kind of do have a dirty book.
[10:16] Senpai
    It's called Paraiso Harem*.
[10:18] Senpai
    It's an ongoing series in what's, technically,
    a young adult magazine, but really...
[10:23] Senpai
    It's basically hentai manga.
[10:25] Senpai
    I just enjoy Yagami Rintarou-sensei's beautiful*
    artwork and the orthodox fantasy plot.
[10:32] Senpai
    I'm definitely not reading
    it for the sexy stuff.
[10:36] Senpai
    And I keep it...
[10:42] ---
    ...in the prep room next door.
[10:46] Senpai
    So there are no dirty books in this room.
[10:52] Yoshi
    It's been about fifteen minutes.
[10:55] Gamo
    She's just wasting time looking for it.
[10:58] Nagatoro
    I'm sure he has something!
[11:01] Gamo
    Just admit it.
[11:03] Gamo
    Paisen's an herbivore.
[11:06] Yoshi
    Herbivore!
[11:12] Gamo
    Why don't you give up, already?
[11:14] Gamo
    Paisen's a sheep.
[11:16] Yoshi
    Sheep!
[11:22] Senpai
    Too bad for you, Nagatoro!
[11:26] Senpai
    You'd never find dirty books here.
[11:35] Nagatoro
    It's a dirty book!
[11:38] Nagatoro
    Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
[11:41] Senpai
    Oh, no! Stop it!
[11:42] Senpai
    Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
[11:45] Senpai
    Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
[11:53] Gamo
    Let's go.
[11:54] Yoshi
    Let's go.
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
SIGN    There's No Way Creepy Senpai Could Go on a Proper Date!!
[12:17] Nagatoro
    'Sup, Senpai?
[12:19] Senpai
    'Sup?
[12:30] Senpai
    An earring.
[12:32] Nagatoro
    You're drawing lame stuff again.
[12:40] Nagatoro
    This?
[12:42] Nagatoro
    What do you think?
[12:46] Senpai
    I-I think it looks good.
[12:51] Nagatoro
    Thanks, Senpai.
[12:53] Nagatoro
    I haven't had anything in lately,
    and the pierce started healing.
[12:57] Nagatoro
    I reopened it with this.
[13:01] Senpai
    That sounds painful.
[13:02] Nagatoro
    It's not painful at all.
[13:04] Nagatoro
    A little prick, maybe.
[13:11] Senpai
    Wh-What?
[13:14] Nagatoro
    Want to try getting your
     ears pierced too, Senpai?
[13:18] Nagatoro
    Are you afraid of pain?
[13:19] Senpai
    No, it's not even about the pain.
[13:22] Senpai
    It'd be so weird for someone
    like me to have an earring!
[13:33] Senpai
    See?
[13:34] Nagatoro
    Nah, it wouldn't be weird.
[13:36] Nagatoro
    You could wear it just when you're
    inside, if you're embarrassed.
[13:41] Nagatoro
    A matching earring.
[13:48] Senpai
    Matching earrings.
[13:54] Nagatoro
    Well?
[13:55] Nagatoro
    Don't move. It's dangerous.
[13:58] Nagatoro
    Don't worry.
[14:00] Nagatoro
    It's just a little prick...
[14:04] Senpai
    W-Wait!
[14:10] Senpai
    She opened a hole.
[14:14] Senpai
    I've been defiled...
[14:16] Senpai
    by Nagatoro!
[14:18] Nagatoro
    Submit!
[14:25] Senpai
    Huh?
[14:29] Senpai
    Huh?
[14:35] Nagatoro
    I just pinched you!
[14:39] Nagatoro
    Wait, you seem a bit disappointed, Senpai.
[14:43] Senpai
    No, not really.
[14:46] Nagatoro
    Do you really want a piercing?
[14:48] Senpai
    Ow, ow, ow!
[14:49] Senpai
    I-I don't!
[14:58] Sakura
    Senpai-kun, help me.
SIGN    Family
SIGN    Restaurant
[15:09] Nagatoro
    A stalker?
[15:12] Sakura
    Yeah.
[15:13] Nagatoro
    You were trolling that club,
[15:15] ---
    and one of them started
    following you around like a stalker?
[15:21] Gamo
    That's bad.
[15:22] Yoshi
    Yeah, bad.
[15:27] Sakura
    He's still doing it.
[15:31] Nagatoro
    Oh, man!
[15:33] Sakura
    I'm scared!
[15:36] Gamo
    What do you think, Paisen?
[15:38] Senpai
    You guys did it to yourselves.
[15:41] Senpai
    This is what you get for
    messing with people's heads.
[15:45] Gamo
    Look, Paisen made her cry.
[15:52] Sakura
    Hey...
[15:54] Sakura
    Senpai-kun, could you do something for me?
[16:02] Sakura
    Could you pretend to be my boyfriend?
[16:08] Sakura
    I think he might give up
     if he saw us flirting.
[16:15] Senpai
    Wh-Why should I?
[16:17] Sakura
    I'm single right now.
[16:20] Sakura
    You're about the only person
    I can ask to do that.
[16:25] Senpai
    B-But...
[16:27] Senpai
    P-Pretend to be your boyfriend?
[16:30] Gamo
    Why not?
[16:32] Gamo
    Paisen would be harmless.
[16:34] Yoshi
    Totally harmless!
[16:36] Nagatoro
    No, he's not.
[16:38] Nagatoro
    He's super harmful.
[16:42] Nagatoro
    He's like a harmful insect.
[16:46] Nagatoro
    Let this creepy senpai pretend
    to be your boyfriend,
[16:50] ---
    and forget about losing your stalker...
[16:52] Nagatoro
    You'll have twice as many!
[16:54] Sakura
    No!
[16:56] Sakura
    No!
[16:59] Sakura
    No!
[17:02] Senpai
    That's crazy talk!
[17:04] Senpai
    I'd never do such a thing!
[17:07] Sakura
    Then could you please
    pretend to be my boyfriend?
[17:18] Senpai
    Sure, I guess.
[17:33] Senpai
    I couldn't really say no...
[17:36] Senpai
    But what are you supposed to do on a date?
[17:38] Senpai
    I mean, I guess it's just pretend.
[17:40] Senpai
    We can just wander around.
[17:43] Sakura
    Senpai-kun.
[17:46] Sakura
    Sorry, were you waiting long?
[17:49] Senpai
    No, not really.
[17:53] Sakura
    Okay, let's go.
[17:56] Senpai
    S-Sure.
[18:06] Sakura
    Senpai-kun, are you nervous?
[18:09] Senpai
    N-Not really.
[18:12] Sakura
    Don't worry.
[18:14] Sakura
    I'll take the lead today.
[18:17] Senpai
    The lead?
[18:41] Gamo
    Paisen's awkward as hell.
[18:49] Gamo
    Isn't this the kind of thing you might
    see in those anime shows Paisen likes?
[18:54] Yoshi
    Totally!
[18:56] Gamo
    For some reason, they have
    to pretend to be on a date.
[19:00] Yoshi
    But...
[19:02] Gamo
    But the act becomes real,
    things start heating up, and...
[19:09] Yoshi
    And...
[19:10] Gamo
    What they thought were
    fake feelings become...
[19:13] Gamo
    An actual date!
[19:15] Yoshi
    A date!
[19:16] Nagatoro
    There's no way he could
    make it a proper date!
[19:20] Gamo
    Why so mad?
[19:22] Nagatoro
    I'm not mad!
[19:25] Sakura
    About that thing I asked you...
[19:27] Sakura
    Are you sure you're okay with it?
[19:31] Senpai
    What do you mean?
[19:37] Sakura
    Isn't there anyone you
    want to go on a date with?
[19:41] Nagatoro
    N-Not really.
[19:44] Sakura
    Yeah?
[19:55] Nagatoro
    S-Speaking of which, where's the stalker?
[19:59] Sakura
    I haven't seen him.
[20:01] Person 1
    Ow! Ow!
[20:06] Senpai
    Nagatoro!
[20:09] Gamo
    When did that happen?!
[20:12] Person 1
    I'm sorry!
[20:13] Person 1
    I won't do it anymore!
[20:14] Person 1
    Forgive me!
[20:16] Person 1
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[20:19] Nagatoro
    Now we can end this charade.
[20:25] Sakura
    Yeah...
[20:26] Gamo
    What are you doing?!
[20:27] Yoshi
    You ruined it!
[20:29] Nagatoro
    It's better to solve the problem
     sooner rather than later, right?
[20:31] Gamo
    But the photo ops!
[20:33] Yoshi
    The photo ops!
[20:35] Nagatoro
    What photo ops?!
[20:36] Person 1
    I'm out!
[20:37] Person 1
    I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
[20:43] Gamo
    Okay, let's go home.
[20:46] Sakura
    Okay!
[20:50] Nagatoro
    Let's go home, Senpai.
[20:53] Senpai
    Yeah.
[20:55] Nagatoro
    Sucks to be you, Senpai.
[20:57] Nagatoro
    There goes your much-anticipated first date.
[21:01] Senpai
    I-It's fine.
[21:02] Senpai
    It was just pretend, anyway.
[21:05] Senpai
    That's one less thing to worry about.
[21:07] Nagatoro
    Yeah, right!
[21:08] Nagatoro
    You were having pervy thoughts, weren't you?
[21:12] Nagatoro
    Like, you lock arms with her,
[21:14] ---
    her breast touches you, and if you're lucky,
[21:19] ---
    you might even lose your virginity.
[21:22] Senpai
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you talking about?!
[21:25] Nagatoro
    Pervert!
[21:26] Nagatoro
    You're such a pervert, Senpai!
[21:28] Senpai
    Th-That would have never happened!
[21:30] Nagatoro
    You're not ready for going on dates, are you?
[21:43] Senpai
    I guess you're right.
[21:51] Nagatoro
    You're so gross, Senpai.
[23:26] Sakura
    Points of improvement for today!
[23:27] Sakura
    Senpai, I heard you cheated
    on the dirty book hunt.
[23:30] Yoshi
    Cheater!
[23:31] Senpai
    No, I...
[23:32] Sakura
    Why don't you two go out already?
[23:35] Sakura
    Let's go home, Yoshi.
[23:37] Yoshi
    Roger!
[23:37] Senpai
    Wait, at least toy with me or something!