# E9 - Senpai's Such a Closet Perv!! / There's No Way Creepy Senpai Could Go on a Proper Date!!
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUGEGK5/senpais-such-a-closet-perv--theres-no-way-creepy-senpai-could-go-on-a-proper-date)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:07] Senpai**
What are you doing?
**[00:11] Nagatoro**
Shadow boxing.
**[00:17] Nagatoro**
I've been hooked on boxing ever
since you lent me that Ippo show.
**[00:23] Senpai**
*I probably shouldn't have showed her that.*
**[00:29] Nagatoro**
Senpai...
**[00:33] Nagatoro**
Be my sparring partner!
**[00:37] Senpai**
I-I can't box!
**[00:40] Nagatoro**
It's fine!
**[00:42] Nagatoro**
You just have to stand there.
**[00:45] Senpai**
Like a punching bag?!
**[00:52] Senpai**
Boxers aren't supposed to
hit anyone outside the ring.
**[00:55] Nagatoro**
I know that.
**[00:57] Nagatoro**
I'll stop right before I hit you.
**[00:59] Nagatoro**
Like this!
**[01:04] Nagatoro**
Come on. You can hit me back.
**[01:08] Senpai**
What am I supposed to do?!
**[01:11] Nagatoro**
Come on, come on!
**[01:12] Nagatoro**
Senpai!
**[01:14] Nagatoro**
H-Hey! You're h-hitting me!
**[01:30] Senpai**
S-Sorry!
**[01:36] Senpai**
*Sh-She's going to beat me to death.*
**[01:45] Nagatoro**
Of course you would put me in a
clinch right off the bat, Senpai.
**[01:51] Nagatoro**
So that happened.
**[01:54] Nagatoro**
Who does he think he is,
putting me in a clinch?
**[01:56] Nagatoro**
It's so creepy, it's hilarious.
**[01:58] Yoshi**
Clinch!
**[02:00] Sakura**
So skeevy.
**[02:02] Gamo**
Huh?
**[02:03] Gamo**
The clinch is a perfectly
fine fighting technique.
**[02:06] Nagatoro**
Still, it's pervy.
**[02:08] Yoshi**
I want to give him the clinch, too!
**[02:12] Sakura**
I don't know about clinching...
**[02:17] Sakura**
but I might want to try pinning him.
**[02:20] Yoshi**
I give! I give!
**[02:22] Nagatoro**
Pinning isn't a thing in boxing.
**[02:26] Sakura**
Just a little!
**[02:28] Nagatoro**
No!
**[02:29] Gamo**
All right, let's go spar with Paisen.
**[02:33] Yoshi**
Sparring!
**[02:35] Sakura**
Yay!
**[02:36] Nagatoro**
Hold it!
**[02:37] Sakura**
What's wrong?
**[02:46] Nagatoro**
You're not supposed to hit
anyone outside the ring.
**[02:51] Gamo**
Um, what about you?
**[02:56] Nagatoro**
I know how to hold back.
**[02:59] Gamo**
I'll hold back, too.
***SIGN*** Art Room
**[03:12] Nagatoro**
Senpai, run away!
**[03:15] Gamo**
Paisen! Let's spar!
**[03:17] Yoshi**
Clinch!
**[03:18] Sakura**
Pincer!
**[03:19] Senpai**
Wha?!
**[03:20] Nagatoro**
Senpai, I'll take care of this!
**[03:25] Gamo**
Wanna go?
**[03:26] Yoshi**
Go, go!
**[03:29] Senpai**
*She sounds badass, but...*
**[03:32] Senpai**
*I bet this was her fault, wasn't it?*
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME,
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME,
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME,
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME,
***SIGN*** MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** Senpai's Such a Closet Perv!!
**[05:17] Senpai**
*I'm so tired...*
**[05:18] Senpai**
*I need healing.*
**[05:21] Senpai**
*I need my oasis.*
**[05:24] Senpai**
*I'll go draw in the club room in peace.*
***SIGN*** Art Room
**[05:28] Senpai**
*I'll draw.*
**[05:37] Yoshi**
Seriously?!
**[05:39] Yoshi**
A nude! A nude!
**[05:42] Gamo**
Let me see.
**[05:44] Gamo**
I'm buck naked!
**[05:46] Gamo**
Put some clothes on me.
**[05:47] Yoshi**
But it's art.
**[05:50] Yoshi**
It's Senpai!
**[05:51] Senpai**
*My oasis...*
**[05:53] Gamo**
'Sup?
**[05:53] Senpai**
*is being occupied.*
**[06:01] Senpai**
Why'd you come to my club
room just to make a racket?
**[06:05] Gamo**
Well, we usually hang out
in the dining hall,
**[06:11] ---**
but there's been this annoying
group lately that won't shut up.
**[06:16] (Flashback) Gamo**
Hey, could you keep it down a bit?
**[06:19] (Flashback) Person 1**
Sure, sure.
**[06:20] (Flashback) Person 1**
There.
**[06:21] (Flashback) Person 1**
Bam.
**[06:27] Gamo**
They pretend to listen,
then they go right back to it.
**[06:30] Gamo**
They're so annoying.
**[06:33] Nagatoro**
So we decided to chill here instead.
**[06:37] Senpai**
This is the art room!
**[06:40] Senpai**
I'm surprised, though.
**[06:42] Senpai**
I didn't think you'd back
down without a fight.
**[06:45] Senpai**
I thought you would have
made them shut up.
**[06:51] Nagatoro**
You don't get it, Senpai.
**[06:55] Gamo**
There's a better way to handle
it than doing it directly.
**[06:59] Yoshi**
Yup.
**[07:04] Senpai**
A better way?
**[07:06] Nagatoro**
We sent in a saboteur.
**[07:11] Person 2**
Dude, why wouldn't you save?!
**[07:14] Person 1**
Why would I?
**[07:15] Sakura**
Hey, hey...
**[07:17] Sakura**
What are you guys up to?
**[07:20] Sakura**
Gaming?
**[07:21] Sakura**
Teach me! Teach me!
**[07:25] Sakura**
Wow!
**[07:27] Sakura**
You're too good at teaching.
**[07:30] Person 1**
N-Nah, I'm not, really.
**[07:33] Sakura**
You're so good.
**[07:34] Sakura**
Let's play by ourselves sometime.
**[07:37] Person 2**
Sure, I guess.
**[07:41] Sakura**
You're so awesome.
**[07:42] Sakura**
I think I might fall for you.
**[07:45] Person 3**
Y-Yeah?
**[07:49] Sakura**
Hey, hey, are you in a relationship?
**[07:52] ---**
N-No, I'm not.
**[07:55] Nagatoro**
Give it a week, and the group will implode!
**[08:02] Gamo**
Then we'll be back in the dining hall.
**[08:05] Gamo**
So don't worry, Paisen.
**[08:08] Nagatoro**
Men are pitiful creatures, always at
the mercy of their own horniness.
**[08:12] Yoshi**
So sad!
**[08:14] Senpai**
* I need to make sure I never*
* get on their bad side.*
**[08:17] Gamo**
Senpai doesn't seem horny, though.
**[08:22] Gamo**
He's the very picture of an herbivore.
**[08:25] Yoshi**
A sheep?!
**[08:27] Nagatoro**
Nah.
**[08:29] Nagatoro**
Senpai's horny as hell.
**[08:32] Nagatoro**
He gets all red as soon as you
tease him even just a little.
**[08:37] Senpai**
Wh-What are you...
**[08:39] Nagatoro**
Senpai, want me to kiss you?
**[08:42] Senpai**
Wh-What...
**[08:44] Nagatoro**
Just kidding.
**[08:48] Nagatoro**
See?
**[08:50] Nagatoro**
He's beet red thinking
I was about to kiss him!
**[08:52] Nagatoro**
Senpai's such a closet perv.
**[08:56] Gamo**
Nah, he's just acting
awkward like all virgins do.
**[09:01] Gamo**
He's an herbivore!
**[09:02] Gamo**
He has no libido!
**[09:03] Yoshi**
None!
**[09:04] Nagatoro**
He does, too!
**[09:06] Gamo**
Nope.
**[09:07] Nagatoro**
He does!
**[09:08] Gamo**
Nope.
**[09:09] Nagatoro**
Yes, he does!
**[09:16] Yoshi**
Ow!
**[09:17] Nagatoro**
Want to make a bet, then?
**[09:19] Gamo**
A bet?
**[09:21] Nagatoro**
Senpai is hiding...
**[09:26] Nagatoro**
dirty books in this room!
**[09:28] Senpai**
Huh?!
**[09:29] Nagatoro**
If I find it, I win.
**[09:31] Nagatoro**
The loser has to buy pancakes.
**[09:34] Gamo**
That sounds fun.
**[09:35] Gamo**
Challenge accepted.
**[09:43] Senpai**
Y-You're not going to find any dirty books!
**[09:46] Nagatoro**
That was a suspicious reaction.
***SIGN*** Announcer
**[09:51] Yoshi**
What do you think, commentator Gamo-chan?
**[09:53] Gamo**
He's clean.
**[09:55] Gamo**
Paisen is just acting sus, like usual.
**[09:58] Nagatoro**
No!
**[10:00] Nagatoro**
He's freaking out because
I'm about to find his dirty books!
**[10:03] Yoshi**
What's your take?
**[10:04] Gamo**
No way.
**[10:05] Gamo**
It's not possible.
**[10:07] Nagatoro**
Yes, it is!
**[10:08] Nagatoro**
I'm going to find it!
**[10:10] Senpai**
*I kind of do have a dirty book.*
**[10:16] Senpai**
*It's called* Paraiso Harem*.*
**[10:18] Senpai**
* It's an ongoing series in what's, technically,*
* a young adult magazine, but really...*
**[10:23] Senpai**
*It's basically hentai manga.*
**[10:25] Senpai**
* I just enjoy Yagami Rintarou-sensei's beautiful*
* artwork and the orthodox fantasy plot.*
**[10:32] Senpai**
* I'm definitely not reading*
* it for the sexy stuff.*
**[10:36] Senpai**
*And I keep it...*
**[10:42] ---**
*...in the prep room next door.*
**[10:46] Senpai**
*So there are no dirty books in this room.*
**[10:52] Yoshi**
It's been about fifteen minutes.
**[10:55] Gamo**
She's just wasting time looking for it.
**[10:58] Nagatoro**
I'm sure he has something!
**[11:01] Gamo**
Just admit it.
**[11:03] Gamo**
Paisen's an herbivore.
**[11:06] Yoshi**
Herbivore!
**[11:12] Gamo**
Why don't you give up, already?
**[11:14] Gamo**
Paisen's a sheep.
**[11:16] Yoshi**
Sheep!
**[11:22] Senpai**
Too bad for you, Nagatoro!
**[11:26] Senpai**
You'd never find dirty books here.
**[11:35] Nagatoro**
It's a dirty book!
**[11:38] Nagatoro**
Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
**[11:41] Senpai**
Oh, no! Stop it!
**[11:42] Senpai**
Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
**[11:45] Senpai**
Perv! Creep! Perv! Creep!
**[11:53] Gamo**
Let's go.
**[11:54] Yoshi**
Let's go.
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** DON'T TOY WITH ME, MISS NAGATORO
***SIGN*** There's No Way Creepy Senpai Could Go on a Proper Date!!
**[12:17] Nagatoro**
'Sup, Senpai?
**[12:19] Senpai**
'Sup?
**[12:30] Senpai**
*An earring.*
**[12:32] Nagatoro**
You're drawing lame stuff again.
**[12:40] Nagatoro**
This?
**[12:42] Nagatoro**
What do you think?
**[12:46] Senpai**
I-I think it looks good.
**[12:51] Nagatoro**
Thanks, Senpai.
**[12:53] Nagatoro**
I haven't had anything in lately,
and the pierce started healing.
**[12:57] Nagatoro**
I reopened it with this.
**[13:01] Senpai**
That sounds painful.
**[13:02] Nagatoro**
It's not painful at all.
**[13:04] Nagatoro**
A little prick, maybe.
**[13:11] Senpai**
Wh-What?
**[13:14] Nagatoro**
Want to try getting your
ears pierced too, Senpai?
**[13:18] Nagatoro**
Are you afraid of pain?
**[13:19] Senpai**
No, it's not even about the pain.
**[13:22] Senpai**
It'd be so weird for someone
like me to have an earring!
**[13:33] Senpai**
See?
**[13:34] Nagatoro**
Nah, it wouldn't be weird.
**[13:36] Nagatoro**
You could wear it just when you're
inside, if you're embarrassed.
**[13:41] Nagatoro**
A matching earring.
**[13:48] Senpai**
*Matching earrings.*
**[13:54] Nagatoro**
Well?
**[13:55] Nagatoro**
Don't move. It's dangerous.
**[13:58] Nagatoro**
Don't worry.
**[14:00] Nagatoro**
It's just a little prick...
**[14:04] Senpai**
W-Wait!
**[14:10] Senpai**
She opened a hole.
**[14:14] Senpai**
I've been defiled...
**[14:16] Senpai**
by Nagatoro!
**[14:18] Nagatoro**
Submit!
**[14:25] Senpai**
*Huh?*
**[14:29] Senpai**
*Huh?*
**[14:35] Nagatoro**
I just pinched you!
**[14:39] Nagatoro**
Wait, you seem a bit disappointed, Senpai.
**[14:43] Senpai**
No, not really.
**[14:46] Nagatoro**
Do you really want a piercing?
**[14:48] Senpai**
Ow, ow, ow!
**[14:49] Senpai**
I-I don't!
**[14:58] Sakura**
Senpai-kun, help me.
***SIGN*** Family
***SIGN*** Restaurant
**[15:09] Nagatoro**
A stalker?
**[15:12] Sakura**
Yeah.
**[15:13] Nagatoro**
You were trolling that club,
**[15:15] ---**
and one of them started
following you around like a stalker?
**[15:21] Gamo**
That's bad.
**[15:22] Yoshi**
Yeah, bad.
**[15:27] Sakura**
He's still doing it.
**[15:31] Nagatoro**
Oh, man!
**[15:33] Sakura**
I'm scared!
**[15:36] Gamo**
What do you think, Paisen?
**[15:38] Senpai**
You guys did it to yourselves.
**[15:41] Senpai**
This is what you get for
messing with people's heads.
**[15:45] Gamo**
Look, Paisen made her cry.
**[15:52] Sakura**
Hey...
**[15:54] Sakura**
Senpai-kun, could you do something for me?
**[16:02] Sakura**
Could you pretend to be my boyfriend?
**[16:08] Sakura**
I think he might give up
if he saw us flirting.
**[16:15] Senpai**
Wh-Why should I?
**[16:17] Sakura**
I'm single right now.
**[16:20] Sakura**
You're about the only person
I can ask to do that.
**[16:25] Senpai**
B-But...
**[16:27] Senpai**
P-Pretend to be your boyfriend?
**[16:30] Gamo**
Why not?
**[16:32] Gamo**
Paisen would be harmless.
**[16:34] Yoshi**
Totally harmless!
**[16:36] Nagatoro**
No, he's not.
**[16:38] Nagatoro**
He's *super* harmful.
**[16:42] Nagatoro**
He's like a harmful insect.
**[16:46] Nagatoro**
Let this creepy senpai pretend
to be your boyfriend,
**[16:50] ---**
and forget about losing your stalker...
**[16:52] Nagatoro**
You'll have twice as many!
**[16:54] Sakura**
No!
**[16:56] Sakura**
No!
**[16:59] Sakura**
No!
**[17:02] Senpai**
That's crazy talk!
**[17:04] Senpai**
I'd never do such a thing!
**[17:07] Sakura**
Then could you please
pretend to be my boyfriend?
**[17:18] Senpai**
Sure, I guess.
**[17:33] Senpai**
*I couldn't really say no...*
**[17:36] Senpai**
*But what are you supposed to do on a date?*
**[17:38] Senpai**
*I mean, I guess it's just pretend.*
**[17:40] Senpai**
*We can just wander around.*
**[17:43] Sakura**
Senpai-kun.
**[17:46] Sakura**
Sorry, were you waiting long?
**[17:49] Senpai**
No, not really.
**[17:53] Sakura**
Okay, let's go.
**[17:56] Senpai**
S-Sure.
**[18:06] Sakura**
Senpai-kun, are you nervous?
**[18:09] Senpai**
N-Not really.
**[18:12] Sakura**
Don't worry.
**[18:14] Sakura**
I'll take the lead today.
**[18:17] Senpai**
*The lead?*
**[18:41] Gamo**
Paisen's awkward as hell.
**[18:49] Gamo**
Isn't this the kind of thing you might
see in those anime shows Paisen likes?
**[18:54] Yoshi**
Totally!
**[18:56] Gamo**
For some reason, they have
to pretend to be on a date.
**[19:00] Yoshi**
But...
**[19:02] Gamo**
But the act becomes real,
things start heating up, and...
**[19:09] Yoshi**
And...
**[19:10] Gamo**
What they thought were
fake feelings become...
**[19:13] Gamo**
An actual date!
**[19:15] Yoshi**
A date!
**[19:16] Nagatoro**
There's no way he could
make it a proper date!
**[19:20] Gamo**
Why so mad?
**[19:22] Nagatoro**
I'm not mad!
**[19:25] Sakura**
About that thing I asked you...
**[19:27] Sakura**
Are you sure you're okay with it?
**[19:31] Senpai**
What do you mean?
**[19:37] Sakura**
Isn't there anyone you
want to go on a date with?
**[19:41] Nagatoro**
N-Not really.
**[19:44] Sakura**
Yeah?
**[19:55] Nagatoro**
S-Speaking of which, where's the stalker?
**[19:59] Sakura**
I haven't seen him.
**[20:01] Person 1**
Ow! Ow!
**[20:06] Senpai**
Nagatoro!
**[20:09] Gamo**
When did that happen?!
**[20:12] Person 1**
I'm sorry!
**[20:13] Person 1**
I won't do it anymore!
**[20:14] Person 1**
Forgive me!
**[20:16] Person 1**
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
**[20:19] Nagatoro**
Now we can end this charade.
**[20:25] Sakura**
Yeah...
**[20:26] Gamo**
What are you doing?!
**[20:27] Yoshi**
You ruined it!
**[20:29] Nagatoro**
It's better to solve the problem
sooner rather than later, right?
**[20:31] Gamo**
But the photo ops!
**[20:33] Yoshi**
The photo ops!
**[20:35] Nagatoro**
What photo ops?!
**[20:36] Person 1**
I'm out!
**[20:37] Person 1**
I'm sorry! I won't do it again!
**[20:43] Gamo**
Okay, let's go home.
**[20:46] Sakura**
Okay!
**[20:50] Nagatoro**
Let's go home, Senpai.
**[20:53] Senpai**
Yeah.
**[20:55] Nagatoro**
Sucks to be you, Senpai.
**[20:57] Nagatoro**
There goes your much-anticipated first date.
**[21:01] Senpai**
I-It's fine.
**[21:02] Senpai**
It was just pretend, anyway.
**[21:05] Senpai**
That's one less thing to worry about.
**[21:07] Nagatoro**
Yeah, right!
**[21:08] Nagatoro**
You were having pervy thoughts, weren't you?
**[21:12] Nagatoro**
Like, you lock arms with her,
**[21:14] ---**
her breast touches you, and if you're lucky,
**[21:19] ---**
you might even lose your virginity.
**[21:22] Senpai**
Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you talking about?!
**[21:25] Nagatoro**
Pervert!
**[21:26] Nagatoro**
You're such a pervert, Senpai!
**[21:28] Senpai**
Th-That would have never happened!
**[21:30] Nagatoro**
You're not ready for going on dates, are you?
**[21:43] Senpai**
I guess you're right.
**[21:51] Nagatoro**
You're so gross, Senpai.
**[23:26] Sakura**
Points of improvement for today!
**[23:27] Sakura**
Senpai, I heard you cheated
on the dirty book hunt.
**[23:30] Yoshi**
Cheater!
**[23:31] Senpai**
No, I...
**[23:32] Sakura**
Why don't you two go out already?
**[23:35] Sakura**
Let's go home, Yoshi.
**[23:37] Yoshi**
Roger!
**[23:37] Senpai**
Wait, at least toy with me or something!