E5 - The Dangerous Hero Stew

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] lam
    Evil God Abram, once sealed
    by the first hero Lamuness,
[01:38] lam
    is causing space-timequakes
    as he tries to revive himself.
[01:40] lam
    It's throwing Dokidoki Space into chaos.
[01:44] lam
    Abram's loyal servant, Don Genoci,
    in order to revive Abram completely,
[01:49] lam
    has conquered the Kirakira Spirit World
[01:51] lam
    and the connected Kingdom of Arara.
[01:53] lam
    In order to stop Abram's resurrection...
[01:56] lam
    Well, I became the third hero Lamuness,
[01:59] lam
    and now I'm off on an adventure
    to find the Ottama Gates,
[02:03] lam
    the only way to get to Don
    Genoci's Dimension Castle.
[02:06] lam
    I guess I'll just have to give it my best!
[02:09] lam
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[02:14] lam
    This is making me blush...
SIGN    The Dangerous Hero Stew
SIGN    The Dangerous Hero Stew.
[02:43] par
    It's so beautiful...
[02:45] par
    A world of nature, unsullied by
    humans... that is the Gaogao Zone.
[02:51] cid
    I feel a pun coming...
[02:52] cid
    "Unsullied... and this is an un-cyclopedia."
SIGN    Encyclopedia
[02:57] hebi
    Yay, darling! You're an artist, jaan!
[03:00] cid
    I'm on fire today!
[03:02] ram
    Yeah, yeah... When the scenery's
    good, the food's usually good, too.
[03:11] par
    Lamuness, don't you have any sense
    of atmosphere? How pathetic!
[03:15] lam
    Shut up! My DNA gives my stomach priority!
[03:19] pq
    Is that why your head is so empty, chu?
[03:26] lam
    What's that you're saying?
[03:30] par
    Stop that, Lamuness...
[03:34] par
    Lamuness. Not again!
[03:36] lam
    Hey! That one wasn't me!
[03:39] par
    See?
[03:41] lam
    I said it's not me!
[04:03] par
    Lamuness!
[04:04] lam
    Don't show fear!
[04:05] lam
    At times like these, you're supposed
    to make full eye contact...
[04:11] lam
    Hello, I am your friend!
[04:20] lam
    I am your friend!
[04:26] lam
    I am your friend!
[04:44] all
    Lamuness!
[04:50] lam
    That hurts!
[04:58] lam
    Let's just run away!
[05:01] par
    You worthless hero!
[05:08] pq
    Master!
[05:12] pq
    Master! Kaiser...
[05:17] pq
    C-Call for Kaiser Fire, chu!
[05:20] lam
    We don't have time for that now!
[05:37] lam
    I'm exhausted...
[05:40] lam
    Now that I think about it... I probably
    should have called Kaiser Fire...
[05:45] pq
    I told you that over and over and—
[05:48] lam
    Shut up.
[05:53] lam
    Cacao. Where are we?
[05:56] lam
    Huh? Huh? Where's everyone else?
[06:00] pq
    We got separated a while back, chu.
[06:05] lam
    No way!
[06:08] lam
    R-R-Right, calm down!
[06:11] lam
    At times like these... at times like these...
[06:13] lam
    Find a police station!
[06:16] lam
    Officer! Hey, Officer!
[06:20] pq
    You're not gonna find one, chu.
[06:22] lam
    I know!
[06:23] lam
    The moss on the trees!
[06:24] lam
    The direction of the sun!
[06:26] lam
    Magnets always point north!
[06:30] pq
    He's totally panicking, chu...
[06:38] cid
    What's going on here?
[06:39] cid
    I look left, I look right...
[06:42] cid
    It's monkeys, monkeys,
    monkeys, monkeys, monkeys,
[06:45] cid
    monkeys, monkeys, monkeys,
    monkeys, monkeys...
[06:48] cid
    Monkeys everywhere!
[06:51] hebi
    And they're really loud, jaan!
[06:52] hebi
    Where the hell am I?! Well?!
[06:55] hebi
    Answer me, you stupid monkeys!
[07:00] cid
    Shut up, you damn monkeys!
[07:03] cid
    Monkeep it down already!
[07:19] hebi
    Darling...
[07:20] cid
    Damn you... Laugh, you monkeys!
[07:36] cid
    Don't mock me, you monkeys!
[07:39] hebi
    D-Darling! Hang in there, jaan!
[07:42] hebi
    Darling, darling!
[07:54] par
    I don't wanna be lunch!
[07:57] cac
    It is time for our final resort.
[08:16] cac
    Parfait...
[08:20] cac
    The hero is this way.
[08:22] par
    What was that?
[08:24] cac
    It was the only thing I could think of.
[08:47] suke
    Stand down, stand down, stand down!
[08:49] suke
    Stand down this instant!
[08:50] suke
    Don't you see this crest?
[09:06] par
    Thank goodness...
[09:09] par
    We're safe!
[09:11] cac
    Wh-Who's that?
[09:20] par
    Who were they?
[09:22] cac
    Those people are deeply
    tied to our destiny!
[09:27] par
    Really, Cacao?
[09:29] cac
    Probably...
[09:33] lam
    Hey! Parfait! Cacao!
[09:38] lam
    At a time like this, I'll even take Da Cider!
[09:41] lam
    Someone! Someone come and find me!
[10:01] lam
    H-Hello!
[10:03] lam
    I am... the hero! Everybody's... friend!
[10:41] lam
    Boy, what a nice hot bath!
[10:45] lam
    Feels like heaven...
[10:47] lam
    These people are so nice.
[10:51] pq
    You're such an idiot, chu.
[11:01] lam
    Wow, a dance to welcome us!
[11:04] lam
    The hero gets all the
    best treatment, huh, PQ?
[11:08] pq
    Just catch on already, chu...
[11:17] lam
    It's getting a little hot, though...
[11:20] lam
    Hey, could you turn it down a bit?
[11:24] lam
    It's a little hot.
[11:28] lam
    Could you turn it down a little?
[11:31] lam
    I mean... seriously.
[11:34] lam
    Darn it... it's hot, so... I'd like you
    to add a little cold water. Is that okay?
[11:46] ram
    I didn't mean bath salts...
[11:55] ram
    This is delicious!
[11:57] ram
    I get it, they put in some flavor sauce!
[12:00] ram
    This'll make a great stew!
[12:04] pq
    Master...
[12:06] pq
    What's the base of that stew, chu?
[12:09] lam
    Well, obviously...
[12:12] lam
    It's me!
[12:13] ---
    Don't look here!
[12:22] lam
    No!
[12:23] lam
    I don't wanna be a stew!
[12:25] lam
    I'm a hero!
[12:27] lam
    I'm a warrior of love and justice who
    fights for the sake of the world!
[12:31] lam
    You'll regret it if you eat me!
[12:34] lam
    You'll get arrested for child abuse!
[12:38] lam
    I'm not tasty at all!
[12:40] lam
    I don't even have any fat!
[12:43] lam
    I'm really stringy! I've
    been constipated lately!
[12:53] lam
    It's hot!
[12:55] lam
    I don't like this! Don't eat me!
[12:58] pq
    Yeah, chu!
[12:59] pq
    Master has athlete's foot,
    corns, and ringworm, chu!
[13:04] pq
    He's a hopeless idiot, chu!
[13:06] pq
    If you eat him, you'll turn stupid too, chu!
[13:10] lam
    You're really getting on my nerves!
[13:13] pq
    I'm just trying to save you,
    Master! Ow, ow, ow!
[13:22] lam
    I'm hot... let me out!
[13:31] lam
    Help me!
[13:35] cid
    What's the matter, crybaby Lamuness?
[13:41] cid
    Sorry to keep you bozos waiting.
[13:42] hebi
    The allies of good are here!
[13:45] cid
    Scatter, scatter, scatter!
[13:51] hebi
    Darling! So cool, jaan!
[14:00] cid
    Don't you look cozy,
    taking a hot bath here...
[14:03] cid
    Eh, Lamuness?
[14:05] lam
    S-Save me, Da Cider.
[14:08] cid
    I can't hear you. Say that again.
[14:11] lam
    I said... save me.
[14:14] cid
    Is that how you act when you
    ask someone a favor, Lamuness?
[14:17] lam
    Please! Save me!
[14:20] cid
    "I beg you to save me" would be better.
[14:27] lam
    I beg you to save me, great
    Da Cider! I beg of you!
[14:31] cid
    That's right. Kids should be respectful.
[14:35] cid
    By the way, Lamuness.
    Who's the real hero here?
[14:39] lam
    Th-That's not fair...
[14:42] cid
    I see. Is that your attitude?
[14:46] cid
    Hey, he's boiling up nice!
[14:49] cid
    Come eat him soon!
[14:50] cid
    Hurry on up!
[14:53] lam
    Of course, it's you, Da Cider!
[14:55] lam
    I'm just your servant, Lord Da Cider.
[14:59] cid
    Now, bark like a dog!
[15:04] lam
    Woof, woof, woof!
[15:09] cid
    Now I'm the true hero!
[15:11] dan
    That's where you're wrong, Da Loser!
[15:13] cid
    What's that?
[15:26] dan
    Beautiful!
[15:30] dan
    Your job here is over!
[15:34] lip
    Next week, it's going to be VS Body
    Knight Dandy & Lip Love-Love Fire.
[15:43] cid
    Don't be absurd!
[15:45] cid
    You're both all looks and no brains!
[15:47] cid
    I'll take you both down!
[15:49] cid
    Lamuness, let's get in my
    loyal machine, Kaiser Fire!
[15:54] PQ
    Master, bear it! Bear it for now, chu!
[15:58] cid
    What do you say?
[16:00] lam
    Woof!
[16:01] cid
    That's right!
[16:02] cid
    Don't you ever forget that!
[16:07] pq
    Master! Call Kaiser Fire, chu!
[17:11] cid
    Let's go, Lamuness!
[17:12] lam
    Sure, Da Cider!
[17:14] cid
    Da Cider? That's Lord Da Cider to you!
[17:17] lam
    What was that? I can't hear you!
[17:21] cid
    Are you breaking your promise?
    I thought you were a hero!
[17:24] lam
    When did I promise that? Name
    the hour, minute, and second!
[17:28] lam
    And have you got a contract?
[17:29] cid
    Damn you... I'm never saving you again!
[17:34] lam
    I'll never need your help either way!
[17:37] lam
    You loser "hero"!
[17:39] cid
    You'll pay for this, you
    little braggart brat!
[17:42] lam
    Shut up, you bad-pun old man!
[17:44] lam
    You made me bark like a dog!
[17:46] cid
    You're worse than a dog!
[17:48] cid
    You're a chicken! You should cluck!
[17:50] lam
    Shut up! You rooster-head!
[17:53] cid
    Fish-for-brains!
[17:54] lam
    What was that, you ancient insect?!
[17:56] cid
    How dare you!
[17:58] dan
    Wh-What on earth are they doing?
[18:00] lip
    No idea...
[18:02] dan
    Well, no matter.
[18:03] dan
    Now's our chance either way.
[18:05] lip
    Let's go, Heinkel VR!
[18:15] lam
    That hurt...
[18:17] cid
    Lamuness, you need to dodge that stuff!
[18:19] lam
    What was that? You're the one who
    needs to pay attention, blockhead!
[18:23] cid
    I don't wanna hear that crap from you!
[18:24] pq
    You're both so stupid, chu.
[18:26] lam
    You simpleton!
[18:27] cid
    You dummy!
[18:29] lam
    You ultra twit!
[18:30] cid
    Extra-heavy fool!
[18:33] cid
    Loser!
[18:35] cid
    Stupid!
[18:36] cid
    Doo-doo head!
[18:38] cid
    Snot-nosed brat!
[18:44] cid
    Fight, fight!
[18:45] cid
    Go, go!
[18:47] cid
    Destroy them!
[18:50] cid
    Now, to finish them!
[18:53] both
    Shut up! Stay out of our way!
[19:18] pq
    Master! Use the Kaiser Fiblade, chu!
[19:21] lam
    Da Cider!
[19:22] cid
    Let's get it done!
[19:33] lam
    Kaiser Fiblade!
[19:59] dan
    My makeup is ruined...
    Don't hurt me...
[20:23] mito
    I feel a storm rolling in.
[20:26] both
    Yes, sir!
[20:36] cid
    Lamuness! You'll pay for this!
[20:39] lam
    Get ready for a beating!
[20:43] hebi
    Darling! Fight hard, jaan!
[20:46] pq
    Master! Give it your best, chu!
[20:56] par
    What? They're fighting again?
[20:59] caca
    Please stop!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    In the forests of the Gaogao Zone, we meet Mito!
SIGN    Hey, I was saving that for last! Don't eat my food!
SIGN    This guy seems pretty funny, though!
SIGN    Next time on VS Knight Lamune & 40 Fire:
SIGN    "The Hungry Prince!"
SIGN    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
SIGN    This is making me blush...
SIGN    The Hungry Prince