E2 - The Legendary Hero Appears

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:32] lam
    Evil God Abram, once sealed
    by the first hero Lamuness,
[01:37] lam
    is causing space-timequakes
    as he tries to revive himself.
[01:40] lam
    It's throwing Dokidoki Space into chaos.
[01:44] lam
    Abram's loyal servant, Don Genoci,
    in order to revive Abram completely,
[01:49] lam
    has conquered the Kirakira Spirit World
[01:52] lam
    and the connected Kingdom of Arara.
[01:54] lam
    In order to stop Abram's resurrection...
[01:57] lam
    Well, I was brought to this
    world by two strange women
[02:00] lam
    named Parfait and Cacao to
    become the third hero Lamuness.
[02:06] lam
    I guess I'll just have to give it my best!
[02:09] lam
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[02:14] lam
    This is making me blush...
SIGN    The Legendary Hero Appears
SIGN    The Legendary Hero Appears.
[02:28] coco
    Lord Lamuness...
[02:33] par
    Lamuness...
[02:44] lam
    C'mon, move!
[02:46] lam
    Just move already! Move!
[02:48] PQ
    It's no use, chu! It's not gonna move!
[02:51] PQ
    You need another hero to move it, chu!
[02:54] lam
    But how are we supposed to find another hero?
[03:06] dan
    What a fortuitous outcome!
[03:08] dan
    To be able to finish off the
    hero Lamuness this easily...
[03:15] lip
    Cute little boy, I would have liked
     to toy with you a bit longer...
[03:23] dan
    Goodbye, hero Lamuness!
[03:34] ---
    What?!
[03:39] lam
    What was that?!
[03:39] pq
    Pikyu?
[03:40] cac
    What's that?
[03:53] cid
    That's enough!
SIGN    Evils
[03:55] cid
    One, two, three, four, five,
    six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
[04:01] cid
    Ten evils make a deca-evil...
    a devil, like you!
[04:14] cid
    Damn you all!
[04:17] cid
    You sayin' you don't think my puns are funny?!
[04:21] hebi
    Darling!
[04:22] cid
    Listen to my puns!
[04:25] hebi
    Darling, you rock!
[04:28] cid
    Laugh! Laugh!
[04:31] cid
    Laugh, damn you!
[04:32] lam
    What the hell is that?
[04:33] lam
    A desperate stand-up comic?
[04:35] pq
    Just some idiot, I think.
[04:38] cac
    That's Lord Da Cider, another hero
    who helped defeat Doom God Goburiki,
[04:43] cac
    a terrible evil who was on
    the level of Evil God Abram.
[04:47] cac
    And on his shoulder is his
    advisor robot, Hebi Metako!
[04:50] par
    Are you kidding me?! He's not just
    some old weirdo who loves puns?!
[04:54] cac
    He may be that, too.
[04:57] ram
    Hero Da Cider?
[04:59] ram
    Another hero?
[05:03] cid
    Hey! Don't mess up a man's
    turf when he's out on a trip!
[05:08] cid
    Prepare to get wrecked by the coolest
    man in the universe, the great Da Cider!
[05:13] dan
    Da Cider?
[05:14] lip
    My, is that another hero?
[05:19] cid
    Metako. We need Queen Cideron.
[05:21] hebi
    Okay, jaan!
[05:31] hebi
    Hebi hebi! Meta meta! Hebi Metako!
[05:39] cid
    Don't you know the universal
    rule of hero shows?
[05:42] cid
    While transforming, boarding
    a mecha, or doing a cool pose,
[05:46] cid
    you're not allowed to attack!
[05:48] cid
    That's common knowledge!
[05:49] hebi
    It's common sense, jaan!
[05:51] cid
    Anyway, Metako, I need Queen Cideron.
[05:53] hebi
    But... that attack destroyed it.
[05:57] cid
    What?!
[06:04] ram
    He's totally useless.
[06:06] pq
    I wouldn't be so sure, chu...
[06:13] dan
    What?
[06:14] lip
    Oh, he's coming this way!
[06:21] cid
    I'll show you how a man lives.
[06:23] hebi
    Darling, so somber...
[06:25] hebi
    But "the way a man lives"... are
    you getting ready to die, darling?
[06:32] cid
    Metako... I'll show you
    how a man makes his exit.
[06:36] hebi
    Darling!
[06:38] cid
    No, wait, time out!
[06:40] cid
    I don't want to die!
[06:43] hebi
    Darling...
[07:03] ram
    Less than two minutes
    after his appearance...
[07:06] pq
    Master, let's use this
    chance to run away, chu!
[07:09] pq
    If Kaiser Fire won't move,
    we can't fight them, chu!
[07:13] pq
    We should withdraw for now and
    figure out a new plan, chu!
[07:16] ram
    Good point... Okay!
[07:21] dan
    Curse you... that was
    an unexpected obstacle.
[07:24] dan
    Where did that fool Lamuness go?
[07:27] lip
    I'm unable to find him.
[07:29] lip
    Perhaps we should just withdraw for now.
[07:32] dan
    If we must...
[07:47] lam
    I think we've come far enough, right?
[07:51] paf
    Yeah...
[07:52] cac
    We have...
[07:54] paf
    The hero Da Cider saved us, didn't he?
[07:58] cac
    He did...
[07:59] ram
    I see.
[08:03] ram
    Legendary hero Da Cider... I'll never forget
    how you sacrificed yourself to save us.
[08:14] ram
    Even though you basically died for nothing...
[08:16] pq
    Yeah, chu. Yeah, chu.
[08:18] ram
    He seemed like a pretty
     pathetic sort of guy,
[08:20] ram
    and my DNA is telling me I never
    would have gotten along with him.
[08:25] ram
    Rest in peace, hero Da Cider.
[08:28] cid
    Hey!
[08:29] cid
    Don't kill off a man without his permission!
[08:39] ram
    The hero Da Cider! You're alive?
[08:42] cid
    Not dying in two minutes...
[08:47] hebi
    Darling! Get a grip, jaan!
[08:49] hebi
    Darling!
[08:51] ram
    He's tenacious.
[09:11] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[09:13] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[09:17] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[09:20] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[09:23] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[09:27] don
    I feel it... I feel it.
[09:29] don
    The dark energy from
    the Kirakira Spirit World
[09:32] don
    and Dokidoki Space is
    gathering inside of Abram...
[09:57] don
    At last, the dimension clock foretelling
    Evil God Abram's revival has appeared!
[10:09] don
    When the dimension clock's
    hands strike twelve...
[10:14] don
    That is when Evil God
    Abram's revival will come!
[10:18] don
    Abra-kadabra, Abram!
[10:23] dan
    Lord Don Genoci.
[10:25] don
    What is it, Narcissist Dandy, Pheromone Lip?
[10:29] dan
    Forgive me, but the hero
    Lamuness has escaped.
[10:33] don
    What did you say?!
[10:34] dan
    An unexpected obstacle appeared...
[10:37] don
    Fools!
[10:40] don
    Listen to me.
[10:41] don
    The person most likely
    to interrupt the revival
[10:43] don
    of Evil God Abram is the hero Lamuness!
[10:47] don
    We must not repeat the
    mistakes of 5,000 years ago!
[10:51] don
    You must kill the hero
     Lamuness, at any cost!
[10:57] don
    At any rate, once Evil God Abram is revived,
[11:01] don
    vanquishing Lamuness will
    be a trivial matter.
[11:40] paf
    He sure can pack it in, huh?
[11:46] pq
    Master, doesn't it bother you to watch that?
[11:50] lam
    Nah... my mom's a real glutton, too.
[11:54] lam
    She eats about that much
    as a pre-dinner snack.
[11:58] pq
    Is your mother really human, Master?
[12:03] cid
    That filled me right up!
[12:04] cid
    Now I've recharged my energy
    to super ultra full!
[12:09] hebi
    Darling! You really seemed
    to enjoy that, jaan!
[12:12] cid
    Now, while we have a breather,
    could I ask you something?
[12:16] cid
    Just what is this "Evil God Abram"?
[12:20] paf
    He's a devil!
[12:21] paf
    The greatest and most evil creature where
    we're from, the Kirakira Spirit World!
[12:24] cac
    He's a bit like a brother to Doom
    God Goburiki in Dokidoki Space...
[12:30] cid
    What?
[12:31] hebi
    What a shock, jaan!
[12:32] lam
    And you said this Evil God Abram
    wasn't fully revived yet, right?
[12:37] lam
    What exactly can we do
     to prevent his revival?
[12:40] cac
    Well, Abram was sealed by
    the three Spirit Knights.
[12:46] cac
    Kaiser Fire.
[12:48] cac
    Graf Thunder.
[12:50] cac
    Water Baron.
[12:51] cac
    If we can bring the three
    Spirit Knights together,
[12:54] cac
    we can seal Abram once again.
[12:57] paf
    So we must find a hero who can bring
    the three Spirit Knights together.
[13:01] ram
    I see!
[13:02] ram
    So we just need to find the three
    Spirit Knights in this world, right?
[13:06] ram
    I can call out Kaiser Fire...
[13:08] ram
    So, two more!
[13:09] pq
    It's not going to be that easy, Master.
[13:13] cid
    Where is Abram right now?
[13:14] cac
    The Dimension Castle.
[13:16] pq
    The Dimension Castle is in the sky above
    Arara Castle in the Kingdom of Arara, chu.
[13:20] cid
    What? What's happening at Arara Castle?
[13:23] cid
    What about the residents?
[13:24] pq
    Queen Cafe Au Lait and Princess Cocoa
    were both captured by Don Genoci, chu!
[13:30] cid
    What?!
[13:31] cid
    Lesqua was captured?
[13:32] hebi
    The ugly chick? Lucky us, jaan!
[13:35] cid
    Lesqua...
[13:39] cid
    Lesqua, what are you doing now?
[13:43] hebi
    You've still got me, darling...
[14:06] cafe
    Damn you! Damn you!
[14:21] cafe
    I'm the queen of the Kingdom of Arara!
[14:24] cafe
    Why do I have to scrub the floor?!
[14:27] cafe
    Chomp?
[14:34] cafe
    I'm sorry!
[14:34] cafe
    I'll work, I'll work!
[14:42] don
    Settled down, have you?
[14:52] coco
    Oh dear... I feel so embarrassed.
[15:00] ram
    What's that?
[15:07] dan
    We found you, foolish hero!
[15:10] lip
    This time, say bye-bye to your little life!
[15:14] paf
    Hero Lamuness! Hero Da Cider!
[15:16] paf
    Please work together and
    fight with Kaiser Fire!
[15:19] cac
    Please!
[15:22] lam
    Work...
[15:23] cid
    ...with this guy?
[15:25] lam
    No way!
[15:27] lam
    My DNA is refusing to work
    with this pathetic jerk!
[15:32] cid
    I must admit, that goofy face of yours
    reminds me of an idiot I used to know...
[15:37] cid
    It really gets under my skin.
[15:38] ram
    What did you say?!
[15:39] cid
    What do you think?!
[15:41] paf
    We don't have time for this!
[15:44] dan
    Victory is nigh!
[15:50] ram
    Parfait! Cacao!
[15:51] cid
    Damn you!
[15:52] paf
    Lamuness! Da Cider!
[15:53] paf
    Please, fight!
[15:54] paf
    You have to work together!
[15:57] paf
    Geniuses! Champions!
[15:59] paf
    That's a real hero for you!
[16:01] cac
    You'd look so handsome fighting together!
[16:11] lam
    Wanna go, Da Cider?
[16:12] cid
    It seems we must, Lamuness.
[16:23] both
    Kaiser Fire!
[17:37] lam
    Let's go, Kaiser Fire!
[17:38] lam
    Start with a punch!
[17:39] cid
    Let's go, Kaiser Fire!
[17:41] cid
    Start with a kick!
[17:47] lam
    What are you doing?! I said
    we start with a punch!
[17:51] cid
    You idiot!
[17:51] cid
    I prefer kicks!
[18:00] paf
    What are you two doing?!
[18:02] cac
    Lord Lamuness... Lord Da Cider...
[18:06] dan
    It's like stealing candy from a baby!
[18:10] ilp
    That Spirit Knight is nothing to worry about!
[18:16] lam
    Okay, let's jump!
[18:18] cid
    Idiot! We should duck!
[18:21] ram
    What are you doing, you jerk?!
[18:29] pq
    Master!
[18:32] hebi
    Darling!
[18:38] dan
    Now you're finished!
[18:40] dan
    After all, you're such stupid and clueless...
[18:42] lam
    Stupid and clueless?
[18:44] dan
    ...moronic dunderheads!
[18:46] cid
    Moronic dunderheads?
[18:48] dan
    You were severely mistaken if
    you thought you could beat us.
[18:52] dan
    Die!
[18:53] lam
    Who's a stupid and clueless...
[18:55] lam
    ...moronic dunderhead?!
[18:57] ---
    What?!
[19:06] ram
    Right now, my temper is totally boiling over!
[19:09] cid
    My temper's right there with you!
[19:11] pq
    Master! Call out the Kaiser Fiblade, chu!
[19:14] ---
    Da Cider!
[19:15] cid
    Okay! Let's get it done!
[19:29] lam
    Kaiser Fiblade!
[19:57] dan
    In one hit?
[19:58] lip
    Oh, what a mess.
[20:00] both
    They did it! They did it!
[20:24] lam
    Okay, let's find the other heroes
    and head for the Dimension Castle!
[20:28] lam
    Hero Lamuness and his party are on the move!
[20:34] cid
    Wait a minute.
[20:35] cid
    I think Hero Da Cider and his
    party are the ones on the move.
[20:39] ram
    Hero Lamuness and his party!
[20:41] ram
    Hero Da Cider and his party!
[20:46] ram
    You idiot!
[20:48] cid
    You're the idiot!
[20:49] ram
    You doddering old hero!
[20:50] cid
    You whiny baby hero!
[20:52] ram
    What was that?!
[20:53] cid
    What did you say?!
[20:59] red
    I may have passed on my hero title, but
    I'm still the real main character here!
[21:04] purple
    And I'm taking back the leading lady title!
[21:08] purple
    Grazie, grazie!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[22:23] ---
    In order to defeat Evil God Abram,
    we're looking for the Ottama Gates!
[22:27] ---
    Steam! Pretty girls!
[22:29] ---
    Gourmet food!
[22:29] ---
    Yeah! Yeah!
[22:31] ---
    It's a hot spring!
[22:32] ---
    I'm so glad I'm a hero!
[22:34] ---
    Wait... have I forgotten something important?
[22:37] ---
    Next time, on VS Lamune & 40 Fire:
[22:41] ---
    "Doubts!! What it Takes to be a Hero."
[22:43] ---
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[22:46] ---
    This is making me blush...
[22:46] ---
    Doubts!! What it Takes to be a Hero.