E17 - A Game of Hero Snakes and Ladders?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:33] ---
    Evil God Abram has taken over
    the first Lamuness's body,
[01:36] ---
    been reborn as Black Lamuness,
    and sealed us away in his VS Field.
[01:42] ---
    In order to save Dokidoki Space
    and the Kirakira Spirit World,
[01:46] ---
    we need to clear all the
    stages of the VS Field and
[01:48] ---
    reach the last stage where
    Black Lamuness awaits.
[01:55] ---
    We need to do it...
[01:57] ---
    For the sake of the second Lamuness and
    the Three Sacred Sisters who saved us!
[02:02] ---
    And so, I'm gonna beat that Black
    Lamuness guy no matter what!
[02:07] ---
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[02:12] ---
    This is making me blush...
SIGN    A Game of Hero Snakes and Ladders?!
SIGN    A Game of Hero Snakes and Ladders?!
[02:30] lam
    So this is our next VS Field, huh?
[02:32] cid
    It's just a never-ending
    electronic wasteland.
[02:35] cid
    Now, behold...
[02:36] cid
    My waistline!
[02:40] hebi
    Darling! Great one, jaan!
[02:43] cid
    Nailed it.
[02:44] lam
    Leave that idiot alone and let's go.
[02:46] pq
    Yeah, chu! Yeah, chu!
[02:48] cid
    What was that, Lamuness?!
[02:52] cid
    What's going on here?!
[02:54] cid
    Ow...
[02:55] lam
    It was punishment from heaven,
    because your puns are so awful!
[02:59] cid
    What was that?!
[03:05] cac
    What is...
[03:13] lam
    Parfait!
[03:14] cid
    Cacao!
[03:15] cid
    Lamuness!
[03:19] cid
    Parfait! Cacao!
[03:28] bq
    Gyah!
[03:37] par
    Dandy! Lip!
[03:39] par
    Parfait! Cacao!
[03:41] par
    Lamuness!
[03:42] par
    Lord Lamuness!
[03:45] par
    Welcome to your latest VS Field.
[03:48] lam
    Dandy! Lip!
[03:49] lam
    You two again?
[03:50] dan
    Is that all you have to say?
[03:52] dan
    Very well.
[03:53] dan
    We decided to change things
    up on this VS Field,
[03:56] dan
    to test your intelligence,
    courage, and stamina.
[04:00] dan
    Look down at your feet.
[04:02] dan
    If you leave that space without permission,
    you'll be blown by the minefield again.
[04:06] dan
    Naturally, the use of Kaiser Fire and
    the like are prohibited in this world.
[04:11] dan
    If you want to rescue these two,
    you have to move forward using this.
[04:20] lam
    A die?
[04:26] bq
    When the die reaches zero,
    these two are dead.
[04:29] bq
    You need to get here before then, gyah.
[04:32] lip
    Better hurry. If you don't, it'll
    be game over for those girls.
[04:40] par
    Lamuness!
[04:41] cac
    L-Lord Lamuness!
[04:43] cid
    They seem awfully confident...
[04:45] cid
    Treating a hero like a delivery boy...
[04:48] cid
    Parfait! Cacao!
[04:50] cid
    We're coming!
[04:53] lam
    I'll roll it!
[04:54] cid
    No, I will!
[04:55] lam
    Let go of it, you geezer hero!
[04:58] cid
    What was that, you child?
[05:00] lam
    Fine, we'll shoot for it!
[05:01] cid
    Bring it on!
[05:04] cid
    Scissor, paper...
[05:06] lam
    Let's rock.
[05:08] cid
    That's cheating!
[05:23] dan
    Fools. They don't even realize it's a trap.
[05:25] lip
    I wonder if they'll make it this far.
[05:27] bq
    Even if they do, the series of
    traps they'll face on the way
[05:30] bq
    will shred their minds and bodies, gyah!
[05:33] bq
    Start
[05:43] cid
    Where are we?
[05:44] lam
    It looks like a role-playing game world.
[05:48] girl
    Come on in!
[05:50] lam
    Is this an inn?
[05:52] lam
    It's looking even more like an RPG...
[05:54] lam
    Do you have any weapons or armor
    we can use to beat the boss?
[05:58] girl
    Of course!
[06:00] girl
    Please take these.
[06:04] lam
    A fish cake?
[06:06] cid
    Matches?
[06:08] girl
    I pray for your victory.
[06:10] lam
    How are we supposed to fight with these?
[06:14] cid
    What's with that customer service smile?
[06:16] cid
    Hey!
[06:19] cid
    Huh?
[06:24] lam
    H-How are we supposed to
    fight with this stuff?
[06:27] lam
    Is this actually... a sword?
[06:33] pq
    Master, aren't you embarrassed, chu?
[06:36] lam
    A little.
[06:37] cid
    I know! Maybe there's a
    boss that hates fish cakes!
[06:41] cid
    No, probably not...
[06:47] lam
    We don't have time to worry about it.
[06:50] cid
    Yeah. Looks like it's my turn now.
[06:54] cid
    Yes! That's the power of a hero!
SIGN    Battle
[07:04] dan
    Already?
[07:06] lip
    Poor little dears.
SIGN    Battle
[07:14] lam
    H-Hey! B-B-Battle?!
[07:32] cid
    Scared for nothing...
[07:39] lam
    M-Monster!
[07:41] lam
    Wh-Wh-What do we do?!
[07:43] lam
    F-F-Fish cake!
[07:48] lam
    I guess he doesn't want it...
[07:53] lam
    Run!
[07:57] cid
    You idiot! What were you thinking?
[07:59] lam
    I thought I could use
    the fish cake as an item!
[08:03] cid
    Item? That's it!
[08:18] lam
    We're saved.
[08:21] cid
    So these really are like RPG items.
[08:24] cid
    Lamuness, dear, this is how you use items.
[08:29] lam
    Want some fish cake?
[08:31] cid
    Give it a rest!
[08:42] dan
    Not bad at all.
[08:43] lip
    We almost had them, too.
[08:46] bq
    It wouldn't be fun if they
    died so soon, gyah.
SIGN    Battle
[08:48] bq
    The game's just getting started!
[08:53] lam
    Here we go!
SIGN    Battle
SIGN    Accident
[09:02] lip
    The fools. Anything but a four
     would have been safe.
[09:05] dan
    Truly. The ultimate fools.
[09:08] bq
    You're the ones who always
    lose to these fools, gyah.
SIGN    Accident
[09:18] ---
    H-Hey!
[09:19] hebi
    An accident, jaan!
[09:20] pq
    That's my master, chu!
[09:22] pq
    You never bring anything but misery, chu!
[09:25] lam
    Hey!
[09:33] cid
    Don't shake it.
[09:35] lam
    It's your fault. Move a little closer.
[09:44] cid
    How did we end up here?
[09:47] cid
    It's your fault for rolling that!
[09:49] lam
    What was that?
[09:50] cid
    You can't land us anywhere good
    because you're a fake hero!
[09:54] lam
    Shut up, you knockoff!
[09:56] cid
    Shut up, you imitation crab hero!
[09:57] lam
    What was that?
[10:00] cid
    Don't shake it!
[10:02] hebi
    Jaan, jaan!
[10:03] hebi
    Darling, this is no time
    to be fighting, jaan!
[10:06] pq
    She's right, Master!
[10:08] pq
    Use your idiot powers combined to—
[10:12] both
    That was one step too far!
[10:15] pq
    I'm gonna puke, chu.
[10:18] lam
    Hey, don't shake it!
[10:19] lam
    Get closer! Get closer!
[10:25] par
    Oh, no!
[10:26] cac
    No need to worry, I'm
    sure they'll come for us!
[10:30] dan
    They seem to be trapped.
[10:33] dan
    They may be at the end of their ropes.
[10:36] dan
    If that's the case, then
    the game is already over.
[10:41] dan
    Let's see how long they last.
[10:43] par
    Hey! Lamuness may look stupid, but...
[10:48] par
    Well, he may be stupid, but...
[10:50] par
    Oh man, I still have a lot of doubts!
[10:53] cac
    Don't out-argue yourself...
[10:56] par
    Anyway, Lamuness is
    definitely coming for us!
[11:00] bq
    She's got spunk, gyah.
[11:02] lip
    Okay, Dandy. Your turn.
[11:06] dan
    Well, well! The old maid!
[11:07] par
    Lamuness...
[11:09] cac
    I believe in you!
[11:11] par
    Love, love!
[11:13] lam
    Old Maid Lamunade!
[11:15] pq
    What the heck?
[11:16] cac
    We have a new version!
[11:18] cid
    Allow me to introduce my new partner.
[11:20] hebi
    I'm Hebi Metarako.
[11:24] lam
    I get it!
[11:25] cid
    This is an RPG world.
[11:27] cid
    It's time to use an item,
    like the matches from before.
[11:30] lam
    In other words, the fish cake!
[11:32] cid
    Give it a rest!
[11:34] lam
    I'm sorry!
[11:38] lam
    I'm very sorry about this!
[11:45] lam
    That hurt...
[11:47] cid
    If it hurts, at least that means we're alive.
[11:50] cid
    Thank goodness!
[11:55] par
    Oh, Lamuness, darn it...
SIGN    Accident
SIGN    Fail
SIGN    Move forward six spaces.
[12:27] pq
    What is this?!
SIGN    Miss one turn
[12:34] dan
    Miss one turn.
[12:38] hebi
    I'm exhausted, jaan!
SIGN    Miss one turn
SIGN    Move back five spaces
[12:45] dan
    Move back five spaces.
[13:15] dan
    I can't believe they made it this far...
[13:19] par
    Lamuness!
[13:20] cac
    Lord Lamuness!
[13:23] cid
    I'm exhausted...
[13:25] lam
    Darn it. One of us is to
     blame for all this.
[13:29] cid
    What was that?
[13:32] lam
    I give up.
[13:33] cid
    Yeah, it's just gonna make us more hungry.
[13:38] cid
    Aren't we there yet?
[13:41] cid
    A fire?
[14:01] cid
    What is this?
[14:03] lam
    I've seen a lot of these RPGs...
[14:06] cid
    Lamuness, this is pretty bad... right?
[14:11] lam
    I don't want to know what's coming!
[14:20] both
    Monster!
[14:31] lam
    Hello there...
[14:32] cid
    Isn't the weather lovely today?
[14:43] pq
    Master!
[14:49] lam
    Fish cake! Fish cake! Fish cake!
[14:53] cid
    Lamuness, that fish cake must be the
    ultimate item for beating the boss!
[15:01] lam
    Fish cake! Fish cake! Fish cake!
[15:03] lam
    Fish cake! Fish cake! Fish cake!
[15:04] lam
    Fish cake! Fish cake! Fish cake!
[15:12] lam
    Oh, no...
[15:14] pq
    Master, you're just panicking, chu.
[15:18] dan
    I never thought you would make it this far.
[15:20] lam
    That fish cake...
[15:21] lam
    I mean, that voice...
[15:29] lam
    Parfait! Cacao!
[15:30] lam
    Lamuness!
[15:32] lam
    You came!
[15:37] lam
    P-Parfait! Cacao!
[15:38] bq
    I'm impressed that
    you made it this far, gyah!
[15:40] dan
    Congratulations. Allow me to show
    my appreciation by killing you.
[15:50] lip
    Go on. Try to clear the event on this space.
[15:53] cid
    A match of puns?
[15:54] dan
    I hate those kinds of jokes.
[15:58] cac
    Lord Lamuness...
[16:00] cac
    Lamuness, hurry!
[16:03] cac
    Parfait! Cacao!
[16:04] dan
    The cage won't stop closing
    until you defeat us.
[16:08] lam
    Damn!
[16:09] lam
    Right now, my temper is
    totally... burned out.
[16:13] dan
    Now's our chance!
[16:15] dan
    Just as we planned it,
    the heroes are exhausted.
[16:19] dan
    We can finish them off with one strike!
[16:21] lam
    Shut up! Here we go!
[16:32] lam
    Kaiser Fire!
[17:48] lam
    What?!
[17:57] par
    Lamuness!
[17:58] par
    Lord Lamuness!
[18:02] dan
    Now, the next one!
[18:11] lam
    Ow, ow... This isn't an illusion, right?
[18:15] cid
    If it was, this wouldn't happen!
[18:19] cac
    What?
[18:20] cac
    What's going on?
[18:22] lip
    Sleepy already?
[18:24] lip
    But you can't clear the VS Field like that.
[18:36] cac
    I understand!
[18:38] cac
    Lord Lamuness, the shoulders!
[18:41] cac
    The dice on the shoulders!
[18:42] lam
    What did you say?
[18:43] pq
    I see! The traps have all been
    images created by those dice!
[18:50] cid
    Took you long enough, idiot!
[18:51] dan
    That's right! Too bad you're finished.
[19:08] par
    Lamuness!
[19:13] dan
    How pathetic!
[19:25] dan
    Wh-What?
[19:29] dan
    D-Damn!
[19:33] lam
    You're finished now!
[19:38] lam
    Kaiser Fiblade!
[19:59] dan
    We'll get you next time...
[20:01] lip
    We'll be waiting on the next VS Field!
[20:11] par
    We're saved!
[20:12] par
    Yes!
[20:19] lam
    Parfait! Cacao!
[20:23] par
    Lamuness!
[20:24] lam
    Parfait! Cacao!
[20:28] par
    Darn it! Took you long enough!
[20:30] par
    I knew you'd come!
[20:31] par
    Heroes have to show up
    just in the nick of time!
[20:35] par
    But they always save the day!
[20:37] par
    Idiot...
[20:40] par
    But thank you.
[20:41] cac
    I feel so relieved that
    my head is spinning...
[20:49] cid
    So we've now cleared four VS fields.
[20:52] cac
    It appears the next stage is calling us.
[20:55] lam
    That's right.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[22:23] lam
    We switched bodies!
[22:26] lam
    I'm Da Cider? That's so gross!
[22:29] lam
    Now Parfait?
[22:31] lam
    I've got no chest!
[22:32] lam
    Now I'm Cacao, and I'll do
    this thing and that thing...
[22:37] lam
    But now's not the time!
[22:40] lam
    Next time, on VS Knight Ramune & 40 Fire:
[22:43] lam
    "Who Am I?!"
[22:45] lam
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[22:47] lam
    Who Am I?!
[22:48] lam
    This is making me blush...