E1 - The Hero Reborn!!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[02:21] ram
    Creature of the dark!
[02:24] ram
    I cannot forgive what you've done!
[02:27] ram
    For the sake of all those who have died...
[02:29] ram
    I will defeat you without fail!
[02:32] ram
    Even if it costs me my life!
[02:39] cid
    Lamuness...
[02:40] coco
    Lord Lamuness!
[02:41] caf
    Lord Lamuness!
[02:44] mil
    Lord Lamuness...
[02:45] mil
    Please... don't die!
[02:51] ram
    Farewell, Princess Milk.
[02:55] ram
    When I'm reborn... I know we'll be together.
[02:59] ---
    No!
[03:00] mil
    Lord Lamuness!
[03:15] ---
    Lord Lamuness!
SIGN    5,000 years have passed since then...
SIGN    The Hero Reborn!!
SIGN    The Hero Reborn!!
[04:00] nad
    I just don't get it!
[04:04] nad
    That hurt...
[04:07] nad
    Man, studying for tests
    is the worst thing ever.
[04:11] nad
    This calls for...
[04:15] mom
    Lamunade, are you getting
    your studying done?
[04:17] mom
    No slacking off, okay?
[04:19] nad
    I'm doing it!
[04:21] dad
    Lamunade, your bath's ready. Get in quick!
[04:24] nad
    Later!
[04:28] nad
    I'm heading out for some fun!
[04:35] mom
    What?
[04:37] dad
    Dear, dinner's ready.
[04:40] mom
    Darling, Lamunade's run off again!
[04:43] mom
    That silly boy... he's just
    like you were that age!
[04:49] dad
    He might not be a whiz at school, but
    energy is the best thing a boy can have.
[04:53] dad
    "Right now, my blood is
    totally blazing," you know?
[04:57] mom
    That's true!
[04:58] dad
    You know, dear, maybe we're overdue
    for a little mutual bath ourselves...
[05:02] mom
    Oh, darling, you pervert.
[05:05] mom
    Dear? Dear?
[05:12] nad
    There! Take that!
[05:16] nad
    Yeah! Take that!
[05:19] nad
    Darn it!
[05:20] nad
    Got it! That's twenty in a row!
[05:22] nad
    Right now, my blood is totally...
[05:26] girl
    C'mon, next one.
[05:35] boy
    Bye for now, Lamunade. See you next time.
[05:38] nad
    Sure.
[05:38] girl
    See you later, Lamunade!
[05:40] girl
    Bye-bye!
[05:44] nad
    Okay, now...
[05:46] nad
    Boy, it's cold.
[05:56] paf
    Would you like to buy a game?
[05:59] cac
    We're selling CD-ROM
    games at very low prices.
[06:03] nad
    CD-ROM games?
[06:07] nad
    Seems pretty suspicious...
[06:09] paf
    Please, buy our game!
[06:11] paf
    Please?
[06:13] cac
    Won't you, please?
[06:21] nad
    Why? Why is my DNA telling
    me to buy the game?
[06:25] nad
    F-Fine.
[06:27] nad
    How much is it?
[06:29] both
    100 yen.
[06:30] nad
    Sold!
[06:38] nad
    What's all this?
SIGN    A New Hero's Legend
[06:43] nad
    "A New Hero's Legend"?
[06:46] nad
    Huh? So it's that kind of game, huh?
[06:49] nad
    Huh?
[06:50] nad
    H-Hey!
[06:56] nad
    Well, guess I'll give this a try.
[06:59] nad
    There!
[07:40] mil
    That's a promise, okay?
[07:44] mil
    See you around.
[07:52] nad
    What was that?
[07:55] nad
    "Welcome, New Lamuness the Brave"?
[08:00] nad
    Lamuness the Brave?
[08:14] both
    We knew it! You're the hero Lamuness!
[08:16] nad
    Huh?! What the heck?!
[08:19] paf
    My name's Parfait!
[08:20] paf
    I'm so happy I get to
    meet you, Hero Lamuness!
[08:24] cac
    I am Cacao.
[08:26] cac
    Getting to meet you, hero Lamuness...
    oh, the stimulation! I feel faint...
[08:32] ram
    H-Hey...
[08:34] paf
    Hero Lamuness, please, you have to help us!
[08:38] cac
    Right now, our world, Dokidoki Space,
     is in danger of being destroyed.
[08:44] paf
    Hero Lamuness, you're the
    only one who can save us!
[08:48] lam
    Wait, time out!
[08:49] lam
    I have no idea what's going on here...
[08:52] lam
    First off, my name is
    Lamunade, not Lamuness...
[08:55] paf
    Proof over testimony, right?
[08:56] paf
    No, wait...
[08:58] paf
    Boys over flowers?
[08:59] paf
    No, wait...
[09:01] caca
    A picture is worth a thousand words?
[09:04] paf
    That's it!
[09:05] paf
    Anyway, Lamuness, please come with us!
[09:08] cac
    Come with us, Lord Lamuness.
[09:10] lam
    W-Wait!
[09:20] lam
    I'm in space!
[09:22] lam
    I can't breathe! I'm gonna freeze!
[09:24] lam
    Huh?
[09:27] lam
    Well, there's air here, and it's not cold...
[09:30] lam
    What is this?
[09:31] paf
    This is Dokidoki Space.
[09:34] coco
    There's air here, so rest
    easy, Lord Lamuness.
[09:41] lam
    What now?!
[09:42] paf
    A space-timequake.
[09:44] lam
    Space-timequake?
[09:45] cac
    Look!
[10:00] cac
    The space-timequakes are rezoning
    Dokidoki Space into a new structure.
[10:06] paf
    They're caused by Evil God
    Abram's fearsome power.
[10:10] lam
    Evil God Abram?
[10:12] paf
    The greatest and most evil of gods...
    and he's trying to awaken!
[10:16] paf
    Because of him...
[10:18] cac
    Look out! A gravity wave is coming our way!
[11:04] cap
    Get to safety, Your Majesty!
[11:06] cap
    Queen Cafe Au Lait!
[11:14] caf
    How sad that the Arara Kingdom should
    prove this fragile with no heroes around...
[11:19] coco
    Sister...
[11:21] cafe
    Cocoa, we must face our end with
    dignity, as befits our royal station.
[11:43] gen
    I am the loyal servant of
    Evil God Abram, Don Genoci!
[11:49] gen
    As of this moment, the Kingdom
    of Arara is under my rule.
[11:53] coco
    Oh, how awful...
[11:55] coco
    But be warned that we shall never...
[11:59] coco
    Oh? Sister?
[12:00] cafe
    Lord God, Lord Buddha, Lord Don Genoci!
[12:03] cafe
    I'll do anything! Just spare my life!
[12:07] coco
    S-Sister...
[12:47] paf
    Are you all right, Lamuness?
[12:49] cac
    Lord Lamuness?
[12:51] lam
    Shut up and get off of me already!
[12:56] lam
    Where are we?
[12:58] cac
    The Hajihaji Zone.
[12:59] cac
    We're at the edges of the
    world, Lord Lamuness.
[13:02] ram
    Time out a minute. Just stop.
[13:05] ram
    First off, my name is
    Lamunade, not Lamuness.
[13:10] paf
    No, you are Lamuness!
[13:12] paf
    You were led here by the sacred CD-ROM!
[13:16] lam
    But you're wrong! I'm Lamunade!
[13:19] paf
    Lamuness!
[13:20] lam
    Lamunade!
[13:21] paf
    Lamuness!
[13:21] lam
    Lamunade!
[13:22] lam
    Lamuness!
[13:23] lam
    Lamuna—
[13:29] lam
    Um... Parfait?
[13:31] paf
    You have to be Lamuness!
[13:34] paf
    You have to! It took so long to find you!
[13:37] cac
    The Kirakira Spirit Realm we inhabited
    has been completely overcome
[13:43] cac
    by Evil God Abram's space-timequakes
    and his underlings' attacks.
[13:47] cac
    Many of our people died in the process,
[13:50] cac
    and it took everything we had just
    to escape the Kirakira Spirit Realm.
[13:54] cac
    All to find you, Lord Lamuness...
[13:57] paf
    Evil God Abram isn't fully resurrected yet.
[14:01] paf
    The only one who can
    defeat him is Lamuness.
[14:04] paf
    And you are that legendary hero, Lamuness!
[14:08] lam
    Gosh... you were really counting on me, huh?
[14:13] lam
    Well, I don't have a choice.
    I guess I'll be Lamuness!
[14:18] lam
    I can't stand to see a girl cry, y'know?
[14:21] paf
    Thank you, Lamuness!
[14:22] cac
    Lord Lamuness, I'm so happy...
[14:24] cac
    I'm so moved. I feel faint...
[14:29] lam
    H-Hang on there!
[14:31] paf
    Ow!
[14:34] lam
    Sorry, sorry...
[14:35] cac
    I'm very sorry for the trouble.
[14:37] lam
    So just who is this Lamuness guy, anyway?
[14:40] paf
    He's this world's legendary hero!
[14:42] paf
    5,000 years ago, the first Lamuness
    sealed away the two terrible gods,
[14:47] paf
    Doom God Goburiki and Evil God Abram.
[14:51] cac
    Then, several years ago, he was
    reborn as the second Lamuness,
[14:56] cac
    who defeated Doom God Goburiki.
[14:58] lam
    So you're saying I'm the third one?
[15:00] lam
    But why can't you just get the second
    Lamuness to come back to do his thing?
[15:05] paf
    We can't!
[15:06] paf
    Heroes have an age limit.
[15:10] cac
    A person can only remain
    Lamuness through the age of 17.
[15:13] lam
    I... I see.
[15:15] lam
    So what's the second Lamuness doing now?
[15:19] paf
    According to the rumors,
[15:21] paf
    he married his girlfriend and now lives
    the life of the henpecked husband.
[15:25] paf
    Because he was a real
    womanizer and whatnot.
[15:31] lam
    Sounds a lot like my dad...
[15:34] PQ
    Pikyu!
[15:38] paf
    What's that?
[15:39] PQ
    Pikyu!
[15:41] both
    PQ!
[15:43] pq
    I found you, Parfait, Cacao!
[15:46] paf
    What happened, PQ?
[15:47] pq
    It's awful, chu! The Kingdom
    of Arara has fallen, chu!
[15:51] cac
    The Kingdom of Arara?
[15:52] lam
    What's the Kingdom of Arara?
[15:54] paf
    It's the only kingdom that connects
    to the Kirakira Spirit World!
[15:57] paf
    It's also where the hero Lamuness comes from!
[16:00] PQ
    Who's this guy, chu?
[16:02] paf
    He's the new hero Lamuness!
[16:04] cac
    We finally found him!
[16:08] pq
    This guy?
[16:09] pq
    He looks pretty dumb to me...
[16:12] lam
    What was that?
[16:14] pq
    I'm a wise and respected
    hero advisor robot, chu!
[16:18] pq
    Show some respect, chu!
[16:19] lam
    You're a mouthy little brat!
[16:24] pq
    That hurts! I'm sorry, chu!
[16:25] pq
    I'll do whatever you say, Master!
[16:30] lam
    Just so we understand each other.
[16:32] paf
    Stop that, Lamuness!
[16:33] paf
    The poor thing...
[16:35] dan
    I see. So you are the hero Lamuness?
[16:38] lam
    Who's there?
[16:46] dan
    I am the most beautiful creature
    in this world... Narcissist Dandy!
[16:53] lip
    And my name is Pheromone Lip.
[16:56] lip
    I'm terribly sorry, cute little boy...
[16:59] lip
    But we're here to kill you,
    on Don Genoci's orders.
[17:04] paf
    Don Genoci...
[17:06] pq
    No fair, chu! You followed me, chu?
[17:10] lam
    Hey...
[17:13] dan
    Fools who defy Evil God Abram...
[17:16] dan
    I'm going to send you to your doom!
[17:19] lip
    Specter Knight Tiga FZ!
[17:38] lam
    Wh-What?!
[17:39] pq
    Let's call our own Spirit
    Knight and fight back, chu!
[17:43] pq
    Go!
[17:44] ---
    Pikyu!
[18:03] lam
    My DNA is telling me to shout out...
[18:07] lam
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[18:13] paf
    Lamuness! Take this!
[18:16] ram
    What is this?
[18:18] PQ
    Put that in me and summon the
    Spirit Knight Kaiser Fire, chu!
[18:22] ram
    Got it!
[18:31] ram
    Kaiser Fire!
[19:30] ram
    What is this?
[19:32] pq
    That's the Spirit Knight of
    Justice, Kaiser Fire, chu!
[19:35] pq
    Now, Master, get in there
    and beat those guys, chu!
[19:40] ram
    Sure!
[19:48] lip
    Hey!
[19:50] lip
    Wake up, Dandy!
[19:52] lip
    They just brought out something
    called Kaiser Fire!
[19:56] dan
    Oh, no! I got bored
    waiting for it to appear...
[20:00] dan
    Kaiser Fire, eh?
[20:02] dan
    It seems a worthy opponent...
[20:04] dan
    Too beautiful...
[20:07] dan
    But I shall send it to its doom!
[20:10] lam
    Okay, let's go!
[20:13] lam
    Huh? Huh?
[20:15] lam
    What's going on?
[20:15] pq
    I forgot, chu!
[20:17] pq
    Kaiser Fire is a two-pilot machine!
[20:18] pq
    It needs a second hero to work!
[20:21] ram
    What?!
[20:22] ram
    Hold on a minute!
[20:24] ram
    Are you trying to get us killed?
[20:25] PQ
    I'm sorry, chu!
[20:27] ram
    "Sorry" isn't enough!
[20:29] paf
    Lamuness!
[20:30] cac
    Lord Lamuness!
[20:47] cid
    Next time, I shall appear...
[20:51] cid
    Who am I, you ask?
[20:53] cid
    For now, just call me "The Cryptic Hero."
[20:57] hebi
    Cryptic, jaan! Cryptic, jaan!
[20:59] cid
    What kind of parasite do you
    find in a tomb? A crypt-tick!
[21:03] hebi
    Darling!
[21:03] cid
    My puns are on fire!
[21:06] hebi
    Great one, jaan!
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[22:21] ---
    I'm supposed to be the legendary hero
    Lamuness fighting the Evil God Abram...
[22:26] ---
    Well... I can't move right now, but...
[22:29] ---
    What's this?
[22:30] ---
    I need another hero to move Kaiser Fire?
[22:33] ---
    What am I supposed to do now?
[22:36] ---
    Who the hell is this pun guy?
[22:38] ---
    Next time, on VS Lamune & 40 Fire:
[22:42] ---
    "The Legendary Hero Appears!"
[22:44] ---
    Right now, my blood is totally blazing!
[22:45] ---
    The Legendary Hero Appears
[22:47] ---
    This is making me blush...