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E5 - 501st, Time For a Haircut?

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] ---
    Oh, Mio.
[01:31] ---
    Your hair's grown out.
[01:34] ---
    You're right.
[01:35] ---
    It's getting in my eyes.
    Maybe I should cut it a little.
[01:36] ---
    "501st, Time For a Haircut?"
[01:38] ---
    You cut it yourself?
[01:39] ---
    Yeah. I'll do it now.
[01:42] ---
    Stop! Stop!
[01:44] ---
    What are you doing?
[01:46] ---
    I'm cutting my hair, obviously.
[01:48] ---
    You're a girl, Mio. You need to treat
    your hair the same way you do your life.
[01:53] ---
    I get it.
[01:54] ---
    You're telling me I need to commit
    seppuku when I do it, right?
[01:57] ---
    Forget it. I'll cut your hair myself.
[02:01] ---
    You look like a mom.
[02:05] ---
    If there were anybody else in the room,
    you'd be court-martialed for that.
[02:08] ---
    Here I go.
[02:09] ---
    Oh, Wing Commander Mina. I have a mess--
[02:13] ---
    S-Seppuku!
[02:15] ---
    No! It's not what it looks like!
[02:17] ---
    I see.
[02:18] ---
    You were cutting her hair.
[02:20] ---
    So, what was the message, Miyafuji?
[02:23] ---
    They want to see you.
[02:26] ---
    Right now?
[02:27] ---
    Yes.
[02:28] ---
    Right now?
[02:29] ---
    Immediately, they said.
[02:31] ---
    But...
[02:33] ---
    Hey, Mio, what kind of hairstyle do you want.
[02:36] ---
    Wing Commander!
[02:37] ---
    You have to go, right?
[02:40] ---
    I bet they just want to say "we're
    opposed to your plan!" anyway.
[02:45] ---
    Everyone who isn't busy
    please gather in the office.
[02:48] ---
    I'm so busy!
[02:50] ---
    Yes, I'm so very busy.
[02:51] ---
    I couldn't stop for a moment.
[02:53] ---
    Yeah, right.
[02:55] ---
    I have a correction on that announcement.
[02:57] ---
    Everyone except Pilot Officer Lucchini,
    Flying Officer Hartmann,
[02:59] ---
    and Flight Lt. Charlotte,
    please come to the office.
[03:04] ---
    Good news, guys.
[03:06] ---
    You don't have to go...
[03:08] ---
    They're gone!
[03:09] ---
    You're cutting the Squad Leader's hair, huh?
[03:11] ---
    That's a serious matter!
[03:12] ---
    I just said you didn't have to come!
[03:15] ---
    Miyafuji, you deal with this. Okay?
[03:18] ---
    Okay...
[03:20] ---
    Cut it short enough that it
    doesn't get in my eyes.
[03:22] ---
    I want to do it!
[03:24] ---
    Anybody else?
[03:25] ---
    I want to do it!
[03:27] ---
    "I wanna do it!"
[03:28] ---
    Squadron Leader, I believe it's not
    right to deny someone her dreams!
[03:32] ---
    Don't you think she deserves a chance to
    find a future that doesn't involve combat?
[03:39] ---
    Sorry... You can do it.
[03:42] ---
    Are they not thinking
    about Sakamoto's future?
[03:46] ---
    Does it itch anywhere?
[03:48] ---
    No. I'm just fine.
[03:50] ---
    This is such a nice sight.
[03:51] ---
    It's nice to have this kind
    of peace once in a while.
[03:54] ---
    Is this peaceful?
[03:58] ---
    Wh-What just...
[04:00] ---
    Not another word, Squadron Leader!
[04:01] ---
    Don't say it! She's crying!
[04:04] ---
    Don't worry! Nothing's changed!
[04:07] ---
    Can't you look me in the eyes?
[04:08] ---
    "Waaaaah"
[04:09] ---
    Can I go back to asking Mina to do it?
[04:11] ---
    Don't make any hasty decisions!
[04:13] ---
    It'll be fine! Seriously!
[04:16] ---
    It was fine!
[04:17] ---
    --Thank you, Miyafuji!
    --Thank you, Yoshika!
[04:20] ---
    "I had to restore thousands
    of pieces of hair..."
    "Sorry."
[04:20] ---
    It won't happen again!
[04:22] ---
    Don't worry.
[04:24] ---
    After what I just saw?
[04:25] ---
    Hang in there, Lucchini!
[04:27] ---
    I can only do that one more time!
[04:29] ---
    Leave it to me.
[04:32] ---
    I don't know how Sakamoto can fall asleep.
[04:34] ---
    It happens a lot when
    I'm getting my hair cut.
[04:41] ---
    I was fleeing reality.
[04:44] ---
    Aww, Miyafuji.
[04:46] ---
    Get to work!
[04:47] ---
    Don't space out on us!
[04:53] ---
    "501st Joint Fighter Wing"
[04:53] ---
    Miyafuji, you should've stopped this.
[04:55] ---
    Sorry.
[04:58] ---
    Don't blame her.
[05:00] ---
    The officer who gave the order
    should face punishment.
[05:03] ---
    That's how the military works.
[05:04] ---
    Hartmann...
[05:06] ---
    "Anyone who wants to may cut their hair.
    501st Joint Fighter Wing"
[05:06] ---
    So if something terrible happens,
[05:09] ---
    don't forget what you owe me.
[05:11] ---
    I'm sure the Squadron Leader
    would be happy with any kind of hair.
[05:14] ---
    That's the issue.
[05:16] ---
    Wing Commander Mina, do you remember
    the length of her original hair?
[05:20] ---
    Perrine can tell you that.
[05:23] ---
    I see! Perrine would know!
[05:26] ---
    Oh, my. She passed out.
[05:28] ---
    Why here?
[05:30] ---
    --So, can you tell me what you did wrong?
[05:31] ---
    --I had a dream where
    the Squadron Leader was killed!
    --So, can you tell me what you did wrong?
[05:33] ---
    --I had a dream where
    the Squadron Leader was killed!
    --Negative!
[05:34] ---
    You were watching, huh?
[05:36] ---
    I understand! Just leave it to me!
[05:39] ---
    Glad to hear it, Perrine!
[05:42] ---
    Oh, no! I cut one millimeter too short!
[05:45] ---
    Miyafuji, recovery magic!
[05:47] ---
    --Oh, this one's a little too short too!
[05:49] ---
    --Miyafuji!
    --Oh, this one's a little too short too!
[05:50] ---
    And here! And here!
[05:52] ---
    Hurry, Miyafuji! Miyafuji!
[05:58] ---
    Cut bangs are the best bangs!
[06:01] ---
    "501st Joint Fighter"
[06:02] ---
    What're the decorations for?
[06:05] ---
    Oh, it's Christmas today.
[06:08] ---
    That's right. It was
    Lucchini's birthday yesterday.
[06:11] ---
    "Miyafuji Yoshika, Welcome to
    the 501st Joint Fighter Wing!"
[06:13] ---
    So, I think it's time we had
    a welcome party for Miyafuji.
[06:18] ---
    Yes, Trude?
[06:20] ---
    After all this time?
[06:22] ---
    That's right! We're already close friends!
[06:25] ---
    A little too close, if you ask me.
[06:28] ---
    We were so busy when she came
    that we didn't get a chance.
[06:31] ---
    Smart thinking, Wing Commander!
[06:33] ---
    The ideal commander always
    observes her men carefully.
[06:36] ---
    Would you not look at us that way?
[06:39] ---
    Wouldn't it be best to have her
    welcome party when everyone's here?
[06:39] ---
    "The girls on night patrol are sleeping and the
    Britannia girls are at a party and can't make it."
[06:43] ---
    Okay, why don't we just say that
    this is Mother's Day for the 501st,
[06:46] ---
    and we're thanking her
    for doing all the chores?
[06:50] ---
    Miyafuji? A mom?
[06:50] ---
    "Whisper"
    "Whisper"
[06:51] ---
    So the Wing Commander is our
    mother's mother. Our grandmother!
[06:55] ---
    Why would you say that when
    you knew what was going to happen?
[06:58] ---
    So, Miyafuji, you wait in your room.
[07:01] ---
    Let us get things ready.
[07:03] ---
    Just relax and enjoy yourself!
[07:07] ---
    Wait, did we just screw something up?
[07:10] ---
    "Bad news! She wants to
    do the cooking herself!"
[07:12] ---
    "Bad news! She wants to do the cooking herself!"
    "Let's get things ready while she's not here!"
[07:13] ---
    Is there a point to the hand signals
    when she's not here?
[07:17] ---
    But how do we split up the work?
[07:19] ---
    Snacks, party goods, and cooking maybe?
[07:23] ---
    "Party Set"
[07:24] ---
    What's this?
[07:25] ---
    C-Come quick, everyone!
[07:27] ---
    I found the Wing Commander's
    Neuroi transformation set!
[07:30] ---
    Put it away!
[07:32] ---
    Don't cause any more problems!
[07:34] ---
    From the look of it, canceling
    the party was never an option.
[07:38] ---
    Hey, Hartmann.
[07:39] ---
    You've eaten her cooking, right?
[07:42] ---
    The stinky stuff.
[07:43] ---
    Do you remember what it tastes like?
[07:45] ---
    Not at all.
[07:47] ---
    I passed out when I ate it.
[07:49] ---
    I don't remember a thing.
[07:51] ---
    If you can't remember,
    what part of you is scared?
[07:54] ---
    "This was before PTSD
    was widely recognized."
[07:54] ---
    My heart, maybe!
[07:57] ---
    Very well!
[07:58] ---
    I, the girl from the country where we put cream
    on watermelons to make them sweeter,
[08:02] ---
    will come up with some high-quality snacks.
[08:04] ---
    I'll get the firecrackers then.
[08:07] ---
    You understand, right sister?
[08:09] ---
    This is Miyafuji's welcome party.
[08:11] ---
    We need to go all-in.
[08:13] ---
    Of course!
[08:14] ---
    This dessert will be dynamite! Literally!
[08:16] ---
    I'll make a gunpowder cake
    in the pressure cooker!
[08:19] ---
    Okay, let's do this!
[08:21] ---
    Let's not!
[08:22] ---
    Dynamite for dessert? Are they stupid?
[08:25] ---
    What are you doing?
[08:27] ---
    After them, Trude!
[08:30] ---
    It's a joke!
[08:31] ---
    No, we can't take that chance.
[08:31] ---
    "I didn't know you could
    make a face like that."
[08:33] ---
    It's dangerous to leave them alone!
[08:35] ---
    Let me handle the cooking and go
    pound the rules into their head.
[08:38] ---
    The rules.
[08:39] ---
    --The rules...
[08:40] ---
    --I'll take care of things here. Head out.
    --The rules...
[08:44] ---
    It makes me happy, but a little sad too.
[08:47] ---
    Getting ready for a party
    is the most fun part.
[08:53] ---
    I can hear all the commotion...
[08:55] ---
    I told you not to bring dynamite!
[08:58] ---
    What kind of idiot sticks candles
    into a gunpowder cake!
[09:01] ---
    --We don't blow out candles!
    We blow up candles!
[09:01] ---
    --I hope the Neuroi come soon...
    --We don't blow out candles!
    We blow up candles!
[09:04] ---
    "Two Hours Later"
[09:04] ---
    We're ready. Come in.
[09:07] ---
    "Miyafuji Yoshika,
    Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing!"
[09:10] ---
    Thank you so much, everyone!
[09:13] ---
    It seems that people don't talk about
    the things they don't want to see.
[09:17] ---
    Before we begin I have a message from Eila.
[09:20] ---
    She knew this would happen
    so she requested night patrol duty.
[09:23] ---
    Clever girl.
[09:24] ---
    Miyafuji, it's been a little while
    since you joined, but welcome.
[09:28] ---
    I don't need any of the food
    or drinks served at the party,
[09:31] ---
    so don't bring me any!
[09:33] ---
    Oops! I forgot to get a present!
[09:36] ---
    Guess we'll have to go into town!
[09:37] ---
    You aren't getting away!
[09:39] ---
    "Miyafuji Yoshika,
    Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing!"
[09:39] ---
    Okay, a toast to Miyafuji!
[09:42] ---
    Cheers!
[09:44] ---
    Glance. Glance.
[09:45] ---
    You're not going to drink?
[09:46] ---
    I know that what Eila said
    is bugging you but...
[09:49] ---
    --Run!
[09:50] ---
    --Get out while you can!
    --Run!
[09:51] ---
    Oh, I guess she can't handle her alcohol.
[09:54] ---
    It's alcohol?
[09:55] ---
    She passed out from drinking?
[09:57] ---
    Is this why Flight Lt. Takei told us
    not to give you anything to drink?
[10:00] ---
    Alcohol? Is this really alcohol?
[10:02] ---
    Anybody who can't handle it, tell me.
    I'll water it down next time.
[10:02] ---
    "Disinfectant Ethanol"
[10:05] ---
    Miyafuji, we're making a break for it!
[10:08] ---
    One more time...
[10:09] ---
    "Miyafuji Yoshika,
    Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing!"
[10:10] ---
    I'd like to forget the past and start over.
[10:13] ---
    That's a great idea!
[10:16] ---
    I'll start over from when I decided
    to join the military in Fuso!
SIGN    "In the war against the Neuroi, your best friends in the morning might be gone by evening."
[10:20] ---
    That means you're going to quit!
[10:22] ---
    Ethanol!
[10:22] ---
    "Disinfectant Ethanol"
[11:55] ---
    "Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom"
[11:55] ---
    Hi everybody!
[11:57] ---
    It's time for Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom!
[12:00] ---
    Today I'll be introducing one of the finest
    witches of Fuso, Sakamoto Mio!
[12:07] ---
    Her first battle was in the Fuso Sea Incident,
    8 years ago, and she's still fighting.
[12:13] ---
    She's one of the most veteran
    witches in the world!
[12:17] ---
    She's easygoing, friendly, bold, and honorable,
    and cares deeply about her men.
[12:21] ---
    She's the perfect, ideal witch!
[12:24] ---
    They also call her the "Samurai,"
[12:26] ---
    and when she takes her Fuso sword
    in hand and charges at the Neuroi...
[12:31] ---
    She rips them apart!
[12:34] ---
    Her inherent ability is "Magic Eye."
[12:37] ---
    When she uses her right eye,
    which is normally covered with an eye patch,
[12:40] ---
    she can identify a Neuroi's core!
[12:43] ---
    Really amazing, huh?
[12:46] ---
    She's also a great judge of other people.
[12:49] ---
    She recognized Perrine and Yoshika's talent,
[12:53] ---
    and personally invited them to the 501st!
[12:57] ---
    What a wonderful person!
[12:59] ---
    Don't you think so, Yoshika?
[13:06] ---
    It's me, Yamakawa Michiko from Fuso.
[13:07] ---
    I've heard that fighting a long war
    can mess with your mind,
[13:11] ---
    but I'm sure that doesn't happen
    to the 501st, right?
[13:14] ---
    Next time: "501st, Are You Feeling Stressed?"
[13:14] ---
    "Next time:
    501st, Are You Feeling Stressed?"
[13:18] ---
    You've never seen witches like these before!
[13:20] ---
    
[13:24] ---