E2 - 501st, Clean Your Dirty Rooms?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:31] ---
    Spring. A peaceful day off.
[01:31] ---
    "501st, Clean Your Dirty Rooms?"
[01:35] ---
    A day spent doing nothing at all...
[01:38] ---
    A wonderful holiday,
    where nobody bothers you at all...
[01:42] ---
    That's just what an ultra ace like me needs.
[01:46] ---
    There's lots to do. Like clean
    the garbage out of your dirty room.
[01:50] ---
    I'm sure the angels will handle it for me.
[01:53] ---
    We share a room, and the garbage
    is starting to get into my part.
[01:58] ---
    Then it's a gift from the angels.
[02:01] ---
    Don't stop me, Miyafuji.
[02:03] ---
    I'm heading to your room, now.
[02:06] ---
    My room?
[02:06] ---
    Oh no, that's so embarrassing.
[02:08] ---
    We should have a romantic dinner first...
[02:11] ---
    I'm going to clean it!
[02:14] ---
    --Spring. A peaceful day off...
[02:16] ---
    --Listen to me!
    --Spring. A peaceful day off...
[02:17] ---
    You understand, right Miyafuji?
[02:19] ---
    It's a dump, yeah!
[02:22] ---
    Argh!
[02:23] ---
    --Mmph! Mmph!
[02:23] ---
    "Mmph Mmph"
[02:23] ---
    --I'll help.
[02:26] ---
    Thanks.
[02:27] ---
    We'll need to get ready.
[02:29] ---
    Morning...
[02:31] ---
    Huh? Are you going up into the mountains?
[02:33] ---
    "Mmph Mmph"
[02:36] ---
    Don't do anything rash!
[02:37] ---
    We're just cleaning up a big mess.
[02:39] ---
    Is that what you're calling it?
[02:41] ---
    "Why'd you tie her up?"
    "I snapped."
    "Gasp."
[02:41] ---
    I'm amazed.
[02:43] ---
    I can't believe you were getting
    ready to go clean a room.
[02:46] ---
    Is it that bad?
[02:48] ---
    There's birds nesting there now.
[02:51] ---
    Birds' nests?
    That sounds kind of nice, actually.
[02:54] ---
    It's a room out of a fairy tale.
[02:58] ---
    What happened to the fairy tale?
[03:00] ---
    Maybe the part about all
    the new life being born in spring?
[03:05] ---
    Hmph! This is shameful!
[03:07] ---
    You want to be a doctor too,
    so take better care of yourself.
[03:12] ---
    You don't need to be so mean!
[03:14] ---
    I'm a human being too!
[03:16] ---
    Hartmann!
[03:19] ---
    I knew you'd try to run, so I set an ambush.
[03:22] ---
    No fair! It's no fair
    that you can see the future!
[03:26] ---
    There's even less places to step than before.
[03:28] ---
    How is there so much here?
[03:29] ---
    I'm putting the principle of "think of yourself
    as always on a battlefield" into practice.
[03:32] ---
    I'm doing it deliberately,
    but it still hurts...
[03:35] ---
    Yeah, I'm sure you are doing it deliberately.
[03:37] ---
    I never thought I'd have to
    clear mindfields in the air force!
[03:42] ---
    Mines?
[03:45] ---
    I stepped on a potato...
[03:47] ---
    Sanya!
[03:49] ---
    It's stacked to the ceiling.
[03:51] ---
    Where does she sleep?
[03:53] ---
    It's simple!
[03:54] ---
    First I put on my Striker Unit,
[03:57] ---
    and then dive into the little gap at the top!
[03:59] ---
    I use my magic to keep it cool,
    and then this wall
[04:01] ---
    --keeps out all the noise Trude
    makes in the morning...
[04:02] ---
    --You can throw every last thing out.
    --keeps out all the noise Trude
    makes in the morning...
[04:04] ---
    Oh, okay.
[04:07] ---
    Future prediction.
[04:08] ---
    This one's safe to take out.
[04:11] ---
    This one, too.
[04:13] ---
    This one...
[04:14] ---
    It's mean to just ignore me, isn't it?
[04:19] ---
    "Aaah!"
[04:19] ---
    Are you okay, Hartmann?
[04:21] ---
    I'm sorry!
[04:22] ---
    Miyafuji, use a wide-area healing
    spell centered on Hartmann.
[04:27] ---
    Okay!
[04:28] ---
    I'll use my full power to save you!
[04:31] ---
    The stalks! The stalks!
[04:34] ---
    The stalks! What do we do?
[04:37] ---
    I remember. The Squadron Leader
    was practicing some kind
[04:40] ---
    of powerful magic to slice things in two.
[04:42] ---
    I'll go get her right now!
[04:44] ---
    Calm down, Barkhorn!
[04:46] ---
    If it's all tangled together,
    couldn't we lift it all up at once?
[04:50] ---
    That's it.
[04:51] ---
    "Inherent Magic: Body Strengthening"
[04:51] ---
    Now, Hartmann!
[04:54] ---
    Hartmann! Hartmann!
[04:58] ---
    Just 45 more minutes...
[05:00] ---
    She's asleep.
[05:02] ---
    "You'd better thank the others
    for begging me to help you."
    "Owww..."
[05:02] ---
    You know, I wondered where
    all my pots were going.
[05:05] ---
    You took them, huh, Hartmann?
[05:07] ---
    I'm sorry, Yoshika.
[05:10] ---
    Sanya?
[05:12] ---
    "You even took the late-night snacks?"
    "Please don't say another word..."
[05:12] ---
    I make a meal before night patrol,
[05:15] ---
    and a lot of the time I eat it with Hartmann.
[05:18] ---
    I think it's leftovers from that.
[05:20] ---
    I see.
[05:22] ---
    Sanya's homemade cooking?
[05:24] ---
    That's playing dirty, Hartmann!
[05:26] ---
    I'm sorry I didn't wash the pots.
[05:28] ---
    You're dirty, Hartmann!
[05:32] ---
    Sorry...
[05:34] ---
    We're done...
[05:36] ---
    I'm so tired...
[05:37] ---
    We basically just threw
    everything away, though.
[05:41] ---
    I hope this taught you a lesson.
[05:43] ---
    Right, right. Never again.
[05:46] ---
    You'd better not.
[05:48] ---
    Hartmann, does this feel weird to you?
[05:53] ---
    Shall we cover the floor
    in grease or something?
[05:56] ---
    I get the feeling that was a terrible insult.
[06:00] ---
    What a pretty room.
[06:02] ---
    Hartmann, I have a message
    from Wing Commander Mina.
[06:05] ---
    The press are coming tomorrow
    and she wants you there.
[06:08] ---
    Roger.
[06:10] ---
    She said to make sure you have your
    Knight's Cross with Oak Leaves medal.
[06:17] ---
    Medal?
[06:20] ---
    I found it!
[06:21] ---
    I'm so glad... I'm glad...
[06:25] ---
    So why did we do all this today?
[06:28] ---
    I told you we didn't need to clean.
[06:32] ---
    New life!
[06:35] ---
    Morning...
[06:36] ---
    Wing Commander Mina, good morning.
[06:40] ---
    Good morning!
[06:42] ---
    Wing Commander Mina,
    why are you dressed like that?
[06:44] ---
    Battle stations, everyone!
[06:46] ---
    A new type of humanoid Neuroi
    has entered the base!
[06:49] ---
    What did you say?
[06:52] ---
    Was that directed at me?
[06:53] ---
    It looks just like the Wing Commander!
[06:56] ---
    You're still saying that?
[07:00] ---
    I heard there was a new type of Neuroi!
[07:03] ---
    Yeah, I'm not getting involved in that.
[07:05] ---
    Wing Commander Mina, that's overkill!
[07:07] ---
    What's going on?
[07:09] ---
    Oh, so that's it...
[07:12] ---
    Yes, we're sorry.
[07:14] ---
    Why are you dressed like that?
[07:17] ---
    There's a party for the field officers.
[07:20] ---
    Oh, so it was a costume party.
[07:24] ---
    Medic!
[07:25] ---
    She knows you'll get better, so lately she's
    really letting loose on you guys.
[07:29] ---
    You look so beautiful, Sakamoto!
[07:32] ---
    You're so pretty!
[07:33] ---
    Like a princess!
[07:34] ---
    Aww, cut it out.
[07:36] ---
    Of course, the Wing Commander's
    outfit is more unforgettable.
[07:39] ---
    That's right.
[07:40] ---
    Like everybody says,
    it looks great on you, Mina.
[07:43] ---
    Oh, Mio, you're so silly.
[07:46] ---
    "If it's for officers, does that mean
    Barkhorn won't be dressing up?"
    "That's a shame."
[07:46] ---
    I said I would go in normal clothes...
[07:49] ---
    What? This is exactly the time
    when you need to dress up.
[07:53] ---
    That's what she said.
[07:54] ---
    I see!
[07:55] ---
    But with that outfit,
    won't Sakamoto be really popular?
[08:00] ---
    That's right.
[08:02] ---
    I need to make sure nobody bad gets near her.
[08:05] ---
    The atmosphere!
[08:06] ---
    The birds!
[08:07] ---
    See you later.
[08:08] ---
    You guys watch the base.
[08:11] ---
    Sure thing!
[08:13] ---
    Leave it to us!
[08:15] ---
    Don't worry about a thing.
[08:18] ---
    Sorry, Barkhorn...
[08:20] ---
    Barkhorn already looks like
    she's about to pass out...
[08:23] ---
    Take care.
[08:24] ---
    Bye!
[08:27] ---
    Congratulations!
[08:29] ---
    Be happy together!
[08:30] ---
    Before we're even off the lot?!
[08:32] ---
    The light's gone out in her eyes...
[08:34] ---
    Squadron Leader...
[08:36] ---
    What's wrong, Perrine?
[08:38] ---
    Feeling lonely?
[08:39] ---
    But too bad! The Squadron Leader belongs
    to Wing Commander Mina today!
[08:43] ---
    You got NTR'd!
[08:46] ---
    I was kidding!
[08:47] ---
    I'll give you a picture from when
    she was a little baby!
[08:49] ---
    I'll give you one of her spare eyepatches!
[08:51] ---
    I'll give you a pair of her spare pants!
[08:54] ---
    Wait, why do you guys have those things?
[08:57] ---
    So this is freedom...
[08:58] ---
    It feels like home...
[09:00] ---
    Freedom!
[09:02] ---
    What do we do about them?
[09:04] ---
    I have just the thing!
[09:07] ---
    What is it?
[09:08] ---
    Do nothing!
[09:11] ---
    I'm on duty today, but
    maybe I'll bake a cake.
[09:15] ---
    I decided to prioritize
    protecting Barkhorn's sanity.
[09:20] ---
    I'm on duty, but maybe I'll take a nap!
[09:23] ---
    I can tune my Striker Unit without
    having to worry about anybody!
[09:26] ---
    Maybe I'll take a nap up here!
[09:29] ---
    Nothing's changed from what we usually do...
[09:31] ---
    But what should we do?
[09:34] ---
    Why don't we go to their rooms, then?
[09:36] ---
    The forbidden rooms?
[09:38] ---
    So exciting!
[09:39] ---
    "Mina's Room"
[09:39] ---
    So, now we're here to visit
    Wing Commander Mina's room.
[09:44] ---
    Look! A closet with a lock on it!
[09:46] ---
    What? Can we open it, you think?
[09:49] ---
    She didn't lock it!
[09:50] ---
    Now, what darkness waits inside?
[09:57] ---
    What about Squadron Leader Sakamoto's room?
[10:00] ---
    It's not locked!
[10:01] ---
    The Squadron Leader is such a free spirit!
[10:09] ---
    Freedom's tough, huh?
[10:11] ---
    What is freedom?
[10:12] ---
    Freedom means responsibility, huh?
[10:16] ---
    We're back!
[10:17] ---
    Everybody okay?
[10:18] ---
    Squadron Leader! Wing Commander!
[10:21] ---
    We were wrong!
[10:23] ---
    Starting tomorrow, we're going
    to stop screwing around!
[10:27] ---
    For freedom!
[10:29] ---
    Wh-What did you do?
[10:31] ---
    Not a thing.
[10:33] ---
    You're lying!
[10:35] ---
    Freedom!
[12:08] ---
    "Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom"
[12:09] ---
    Hi everybody!
[12:11] ---
    It's time for Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom!
[12:14] ---
    Today I'll be introducing Erica Hartmann!
[12:19] ---
    She's belongs to the air force
    of the Empire of Karlsland,
[12:22] ---
    and is part of their legendary
    Jagdgeschwader 52 unit.
[12:27] ---
    She's Karlsland's greatest combat expert,
[12:31] ---
    with the most Neuroi kills
    of anybody in the world!
[12:33] ---
    And out of all the witches,
    she's the super ultra top ace!
[12:39] ---
    With her genius intuition and cool,
    level-headed powers of observation,
[12:43] ---
    she keeps an eye on the
    situation around her and
[12:45] ---
    swiftly destroys any enemy in her vicinity.
[12:47] ---
    And her inherent magic gives her the ability
    to control the atmosphere around her.
[12:51] ---
    When she uses her special technique, Sturm,
[12:55] ---
    no Neuroi can escape her!
[13:00] ---
    In combat, she's brave and unstoppable,
[13:03] ---
    but normally she's very
    quiet and introverted.
[13:06] ---
    Many people say that she's like an angel!
[13:11] ---
    Yoshika's so amazing, the way she gets
    to be with such an incredible person!
[13:14] ---
    "Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom"
[13:21] ---
    It's me, Yamakawa Michiko from Fuso.
[13:23] ---
    Meals are an important part of military life.
[13:26] ---
    I'm sure Yoshika and her friends
    get lots of great food!
[13:30] ---
    Next time: "501st, Head Out To Shop?"
[13:30] ---
    "Next time:
    501st, Head Out To Shop?"
[13:33] ---
    You've never seen witches like these before!
[13:36] ---
    
[13:39] ---