E4 - 501st, It’s Time For Halloween?

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:30] ---
    "501st, It's Time For Halloween?"
[01:33] ---
    Autumn is here. These yams are great.
[01:36] ---
    I can't stop eating these Freedom Fries.
[01:39] ---
    Hey, you two.
[01:41] ---
    --Have you put on weight?
    --No!
[01:43] ---
    Just because you learned a new
    inherent ability called "hurtful words"
[01:46] ---
    is no reason to use it on people!
[01:48] ---
    So you knew it.
[01:51] ---
    I'm Glamorous Shirley, you know.
[01:54] ---
    If I look fat it's because
    my boobs got bigger.
[01:57] ---
    Maybe, yes, I've eaten a bit too much
    of Miyafuji's Fuso-style cooking.
[02:01] ---
    But how could I get fat when I'm eating
    only vegetables like rice, beans, and wheat?
[02:05] ---
    Because all you do is eat and sleep.
[02:07] ---
    I just have a very childlike body
    so my stomach looks plump.
[02:11] ---
    You don't get to say that!
[02:14] ---
    Miyafuji, got a second?
[02:15] ---
    We need to talk.
[02:17] ---
    Wait a second.
[02:21] ---
    I'm getting ready.
[02:24] ---
    You were actually fattening us up to eat us!
[02:28] ---
    Why don't you ask her to cut
    the fat off you then heal you?
[02:32] ---
    --I should've known she was
    just like the Squadron Leader.
[02:32] ---
    --Instead of eating less,
    you should exercise more.
[02:34] ---
    --Fuso genetics and sharp
    blades are a bad mix.
[02:36] ---
    --Are you listening?
[02:38] ---
    I know!
[02:39] ---
    I'm doing some stamina-building
    training with Sakamoto today.
[02:42] ---
    Want to join in?
[02:43] ---
    That's right. Why are you running every day?
[02:46] ---
    Because autumn is sports season?
[02:48] ---
    Oh! You're training for
    when the Neuroi attack!
[02:52] ---
    You two...
[02:53] ---
    Aww, come on! We didn't forget!
[02:57] ---
    It's been a while, so it
    just slipped our minds!
[03:00] ---
    That's right! The Neuroi
    are always in our hearts!
[03:05] ---
    So I want you to beat them into shape.
[03:08] ---
    More than you already did?
[03:10] ---
    Okay, maybe I've been slacking off.
[03:13] ---
    But I'll show you that I can
    still function at my best!
[03:21] ---
    You want to stop running?
[03:23] ---
    Why?
[03:25] ---
    Sure, there's nothing wrong
    with big and juicy fruits.
[03:28] ---
    But don't you think that even if
    they didn't grow up to be so big,
[03:32] ---
    the best fruits are the ones
    grown with love and care?
[03:34] ---
    Yeah.
[03:36] ---
    --Slap, slap, slap, slap!
[03:37] ---
    --Stop it.
    --Slap, slap, slap, slap!
[03:38] ---
    Sit-ups are kind of exciting, huh?
[03:41] ---
    Yoshika.
[03:43] ---
    Basic stamina is important, yes.
[03:45] ---
    But we're on the front lines.
[03:47] ---
    I think training for
    combat is more important.
[03:50] ---
    You've got some of the top
    aces on the planet here.
[03:54] ---
    Take advantage of that!
[03:55] ---
    I know! We'll pretend to be
    the Neuroi and do a mock battle.
[03:59] ---
    "Pant" "Pant" "Pant"
[04:02] ---
    Nah, let's get back to running!
[04:05] ---
    Running and sit-ups just make
    you feel good, don't they?
[04:08] ---
    What?
[04:10] ---
    Miyafuji, let me tell you something
    that will help you in life.
[04:14] ---
    The wind pressure you feel when
    running 60 kilometers an hour
[04:16] ---
    gives you the same feeling
    as a girl's breasts.
[04:19] ---
    And we can feel the wind pressure over our
    whole bodies by using our Striker Units.
[04:24] ---
    You know what this means, right?
[04:27] ---
    I don't see what you're getting at, at all.
[04:30] ---
    But for some reason, it really moved me!
[04:33] ---
    I'll go get my Striker Unit.
[04:35] ---
    What did you say to her?
[04:36] ---
    I told her there'd be boobs.
[04:39] ---
    There are a lot of different
    types of Neuroi, though.
[04:43] ---
    Bugs, battleships, some even
    split into more Neuroi.
[04:47] ---
    They evolve in ways we can never imagine.
[04:50] ---
    Sometimes they're red, not black, too.
[04:53] ---
    Some Neuroi even sing!
[04:55] ---
    I could imagine one shaped like a person.
[04:58] ---
    A humanoid Neuroi that wears red and sings.
[05:01] ---
    Is that Mi...
[05:03] ---
    To be clear, you're not allowed
    to insult your superior officers.
[05:07] ---
    Okay, time for a mock battle!
[05:09] ---
    Come and get me!
[05:11] ---
    You're not going to use your Striker Unit?
[05:14] ---
    An ultra ace doesn't need one.
[05:17] ---
    Don't tell me...
[05:18] ---
    No, I definitely didn't lose it
    somewhere in my room.
[05:21] ---
    Clean your room!
[05:23] ---
    But it's yam harvest season!
[05:26] ---
    You're growing yams in your room?
[05:28] ---
    Was that where the yams
    I had today came from? Was it?
[05:32] ---
    There was rotting garbage in it
    last time we cleaned it.
[05:36] ---
    Why did you bring in even more garbage?
[05:39] ---
    I'm not doing it because I want to!
[05:44] ---
    Lynne?
[05:45] ---
    Sorry.
[05:46] ---
    I thought that's the kind of Neuroi
    she was pretending to be.
[05:49] ---
    She's scary...
[05:51] ---
    All witches, prepare for combat.
[05:54] ---
    It's been so long I'm getting nervous.
[05:57] ---
    What's this sound?
[05:58] ---
    It feels like I've heard it before.
[06:01] ---
    What did you just say?
[06:02] ---
    From the look on everyone's faces,
[06:04] ---
    it must be the angel of Revelations,
    sounding the last trumpet!
[06:06] ---
    It is not!
[06:08] ---
    Aww, don't be dumb.
[06:10] ---
    I'm not sounding any trumpets.
[06:12] ---
    It's the Neuroi!
[06:14] ---
    There will be boobs.
[06:18] ---
    Huh? Do we have any plans today?
[06:21] ---
    You don't know because
    you just left home, do you?
[06:25] ---
    Is it some kind of secret holiday?
[06:28] ---
    It's...
[06:30] ---
    ...Trick or Treat!
[06:36] ---
    Um...
[06:37] ---
    Wing Commander!
[06:38] ---
    We got you a gift!
[06:40] ---
    Here you go!
[06:41] ---
    Oh, New Year's!
[06:45] ---
    Halloween is the modern version
    of an ancient festival
[06:48] ---
    where people wore masks
    to evade attacking witches.
[06:51] ---
    Children would dress as witches and
    ask if people wanted a trick or a treat.
[06:55] ---
    If they didn't give the children candy,
    it was okay to play tricks on them.
[06:58] ---
    Aww, you told her.
[07:01] ---
    And we were going to give
    Yoshika some culture shock.
[07:04] ---
    I got a shock right now.
[07:07] ---
    Fine, let's look for other test subjects.
[07:10] ---
    Want to join us?
[07:12] ---
    You can learn all about other cultures.
[07:14] ---
    I'll be here, so how about you
    just come if you get hurt?
[07:18] ---
    Don't worry.
[07:19] ---
    There's a wonderful rule that says today,
    you can play tricks and not be punished.
[07:26] ---
    First, Eila.
[07:28] ---
    Halloween is a festival for
    upstanding ladies of good morals.
[07:28] ---
    "Eila"
[07:32] ---
    Just watch.
[07:36] ---
    What do you want?
[07:38] ---
    I'm sleeping.
[07:39] ---
    All right, hand it over!
[07:41] ---
    If you don't, we'll play tricks on your body!
[07:44] ---
    What's gotten into you guys?
[07:46] ---
    What happened to morals?
[07:47] ---
    What is your problem?
[07:49] ---
    Just leave me alone.
[07:50] ---
    You sure? I'll scream.
[07:52] ---
    That's a problem for you, not us, right?
[07:56] ---
    Sorry. It's Halloween.
[07:59] ---
    If you give us candy we'll leave.
[08:01] ---
    Just wait.
[08:03] ---
    --Miyafuji...
    --Yoshika...
[08:04] ---
    Right, right. I've been waiting.
[08:08] ---
    "Eila"
[08:09] ---
    The pumpkin started growing on my face!
[08:12] ---
    Sorry!
[08:13] ---
    Quiet!
[08:15] ---
    "Eila"
[08:15] ---
    Here. That does it, right?
[08:17] ---
    "Eila"
[08:20] ---
    Guys, ladies need to maintain self-control.
[08:23] ---
    Sheesh.
[08:24] ---
    I'm trying to get some sleep
    before night patrol.
[08:28] ---
    Halloween, huh?
[08:30] ---
    You can play tricks and they won't get mad...
[08:33] ---
    Trick or treat...
[08:35] ---
    It's your fault for not giving me candy.
[08:42] ---
    Watch carefully.
[08:43] ---
    That's what people who complain
    about manners actually do.
[08:46] ---
    But you mustn't punish them
    or turn them over to the police.
[08:49] ---
    That's the iron law of Halloween.
[08:51] ---
    Sorry, keep going.
[08:54] ---
    Here, I got you a gift.
[08:56] ---
    Aww, how sweet!
[08:57] ---
    So this is Halloween.
[08:59] ---
    "Perrine"
[09:00] ---
    So this is a holiday for robbers, huh?
[09:02] ---
    We don't go to places like this
    where we're not invited.
[09:05] ---
    So we're skipping Perrine's place, huh?
[09:08] ---
    Hey, Squadron Leader Sakamoto says she
    wants you to teach her about Halloween!
[09:08] ---
    "Perrine"
[09:12] ---
    Both tricks and treats are welcome!
    I've been waiting, Squadron Leader.
[09:18] ---
    Huh?
[09:19] ---
    By "her" I meant Miyafuji.
[09:20] ---
    You tricked me!
[09:23] ---
    Those were for the Squadron
    Leader, you beasts!
[09:26] ---
    The cruel laws of Halloween say
    you show no mercy to anyone.
[09:31] ---
    Hey guys.
[09:32] ---
    Lynne!
[09:33] ---
    No! Run away.
[09:35] ---
    Go right ahead.
[09:35] ---
    "Grin" "Grin"
[09:37] ---
    What happened to the cruel laws?
[09:39] ---
    They don't do you any good if you're dead!
[09:41] ---
    Some people you can't play tricks on.
[09:43] ---
    "Gertrude Barkhorn"
[09:44] ---
    Our next enemy is the rules monster.
[09:46] ---
    Be ready, everyone!
[09:51] ---
    Hand it over, Barkhorn.
[09:55] ---
    I'll make you some tea.
[09:57] ---
    It makes sense to be ready
    in light of the risks, yeah.
[10:00] ---
    I'm disappointed in you though, Barkhorn.
[10:03] ---
    Have a little fun, huh?
[10:05] ---
    Fun, huh?
[10:07] ---
    Good idea.
[10:09] ---
    Trick or treat.
[10:11] ---
    Now answer me, Shirley. Lucchini.
[10:15] ---
    You're 18, right?
[10:16] ---
    You're not allowed to do
    Halloween--it's for kids!
[10:19] ---
    You should be ashamed!
[10:22] ---
    You heard them, Wing Leader.
[10:25] ---
    "The Next Morning"
[10:26] ---
    You know, I didn't see Hartmann yesterday.
[10:29] ---
    Oh, right. I didn't have a choice
    since she refused to give me candy.
[10:36] ---
    Hartmann!
[10:37] ---
    What's she doing here?
    Barkhorn, get help!
[10:40] ---
    Huh? Barkhorn?
[10:43] ---
    Get them before they get you.
[12:16] ---
    "Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom"
[12:17] ---
    Hi everybody!
[12:19] ---
    It's time for Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom!
[12:22] ---
    Today I'll be introducing you
    to Eila Ilmatar Juutilainen.
[12:28] ---
    She's from Suomus, in Northern Europe.
[12:31] ---
    She's one of the greatest aces not
    just in Suomus, but the whole world,
[12:37] ---
    and a recipient of the country's
    highest honor, the Mannerheim Cross.
[12:42] ---
    And you can't talk about her without discussing
    her inherent ability, "Foresight."
[12:47] ---
    This ability lets her see
    slightly into the future,
[12:51] ---
    allowing her to see Neuroi attacks
    before they happen and dodge them.
[12:56] ---
    Because of that, she's almost never been hit.
[13:00] ---
    She comes back alive from
    the most dangerous missions,
[13:02] ---
    and is sometimes called "The Miracle Witch."
[13:06] ---
    Since she doesn't use a shield,
    she can conserve her magical power
[13:10] ---
    and fight for a long period of time.
[13:13] ---
    She's a true ultra-super witch!
[13:17] ---
    Her hobby is tarot cards.
[13:20] ---
    Because of her ability to see the future,
    she's incredibly accurate!
[13:27] ---
    The way she gets to be with Eila,
    one of the world's top witches...
[13:27] ---
    "Yamakawa Michiko's
    Strike Witches Classroom"
[13:31] ---
    Yoshika is so amazing!
[13:33] ---
    I'm so jealous!
[13:41] ---
    It's me, Yamakawa Michiko from Fuso.
[13:44] ---
    Even on the battlefield,
    the witches are still girls.
[13:47] ---
    Of course, I'm sure they spend
    a lot of time looking good.
[13:51] ---
    Next time: "501st, Time For a Haircut?"
[13:51] ---
    "Next time:
    501st, Time For a Haircut?"
[13:54] ---
    You've never seen witches like these before!
[13:56] ---
    
[14:00] ---