E5 - Hot Springs and Girlfriend

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:16] K
    Mizuhara Chizuru is just a rental girlfriend.
[00:19] K
    A fake one who won't last,
[00:22] K
    and one you're not allowed
    to really fall for.
[00:30] K
    But... But I...
[00:33] K
    Mizuhara!
SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend
SIGN    Now
SIGN    You have a new message.
SIGN    Where are you?
SIGN    Mizuhara
SIGN    You're late
SIGN    I'm waiting for you ♥
SIGN    Mizuhara
SIGN    When
     will
     you
     get
     here
     ?
SIGN    Mizuhara
SIGN    When
     will
     you
     get
     here
     ?
SIGN    If you don't hurry up
SIGN    Mizuhara
SIGN    I'll charge you for an extension
SIGN    Numa
SIGN    Who does that girl think she is? A romcom heroine?
SIGN    Numa
SIGN    And that stupid virgin's pissing
     me off, too!
SIGN    Numa
SIGN    Not like they'll last more
    than three months, anyway
SIGN    It's not real
SIGN    Receipt
    
    Kinoshita Kazuya-sama Rent-A-Girlfriend
    
    
    Itemized Bill
    
    Base Fee/hr 5000 yen x1
    
     Choice Fee (Rookie) 5000 yen x1
    
     Costs (City Limits) 2000 yen x1
    
    
    
    Total: 12,000 yen + taxes
SIGN    "Hot Springs and Girlfriend"
[02:20] C
    Where am I?
[02:22] C
    Oh, right. I fell off the ferry...
[02:34] (Flashback) K
    Mizuhara!
[02:37] C
    He jumped in to save me?
[02:41] C
    This keeps getting worse!
[02:44] C
    Not only can I not take care of myself,
    I even put my client in danger!
[02:49] C
    Hey, are you okay?
[02:51] C
    Huh?
[02:53] C
    Hey, wake up!
[02:55] C
    You're kidding, right?! Come on!
[03:00] C
    Quit playing around! Wake up, come on!
[03:04] C
    S-Someone help!
[03:13] C
    What was it... Pump the chest thirty times?
[03:18] C
    What are you playing at?!
[03:21] C
    I told you, how you deal
    with me is up to you!
[03:24] C
    Why put yourself at risk like this when
    I'm not even your real girlfriend?
[03:28] C
    How stupid are you?!
[03:31] C
    I keep telling you,
    I'm just a rental girlfriend!
[03:41] (Flashback) Y
    He's not a bad guy, honestly.
[03:43] (Flashback) N
    How could I ever be angry with
    the lady who did fall for you?
[03:53] Radio
    Two people, seemingly a college
    couple, fell off the ferry!
SIGN    Ferry Pier
[03:56] Radio
    The male was wearing an orange T-shirt!
[04:01] Imai
    Mami!
[04:02] Imai
    It's Kazuya!
[04:06] K
    Crap... I'm fading.
[04:09] K
    Did I die?
[04:12] K
    I thought I could do it.
[04:14] K
    I guess real life isn't as
    easy as movies or manga.
[04:19] K
    Sorry, Gran.
[04:21] K
    I never got to introduce you to a nice girl.
[04:25] K
    Sorry, Mizuhara. I couldn't
    even clean up my own mess.
[04:29] K
    Man, seriously...
[04:31] K
    Talk about pathetic.
[05:02] K
    Mizuhara? Did you just...
[05:04] C
    Sorry!
[05:07] C
    I'm sorry you had to jump in to save me.
[05:12] K
    Uh, n-no...
[05:15] K
    Likewise.
[05:18] G
    Found 'em! Over here!
[05:20] G
    We've got them both. They're conscious.
SIGN    G
    u
    l
    p
[05:28] K
    After that,
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Nag
SIGN    Nag
[05:30] K
    the Coast Guard guys gave
    us a royal chewing-out.
[05:33] K
    Then our friends snapped at us.
[05:35] K
    Ultimately, I skipped
    out on meeting Mami-chan
[05:39] K
    and had to spend the night
    in a nearby hospital.
[05:45] K
    M-Mizuhara!
[05:48] K
    Hey, uh... Thanks!
[05:51] K
    For, you know... doing all that to save me.
[05:58] C
    Why wouldn't I? I'm your girlfriend.
SIGN    Girlfriend
    Mode...
[06:06] Y
    What's going on here?
[06:07] Y
    You call off the breakup? She just
    said "girlfriend," present tense.
[06:10] K
    Nah, it's not that.
[06:14] K
    Mizuhara's a rental girlfriend,
    and real mature.
[06:17] K
    She wouldn't think anything of a mere kiss.
[06:22] Doc
    Nervous? Try to relax.
[06:25] C
    I'm fine... I'm perfectly fine.
[06:32] (Flashback) K
    Mizuhara!
[06:58] Y
    Hey, there's the big hero.
[06:59] S
    Oh, yeah! Give me an autograph!
[07:00] Sign
    Disposable
    Chopsticks
[07:02] Imai
    Hilarious!
[07:03] K
    Aren't you guys even a
    little worried about me?
[07:06] Y
    Wait, where's Chizuru-san?
[07:07] K
    Huh? Oh, she said she was going back home.
[07:11] ---
    That's too bad.
[07:12] K
    Thanks for coming to pick me up.
[07:18] K
    M-Mami-chan, about yesterday...
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
[07:23] K
    Of course she hates me now.
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    Shock
SIGN    No Girlfriend
    Ever...
[07:27] K
    Sorry, Gran! It's back to the drawing board!
[07:30] Y
    Quit standing around and get in, Kazuya!
[07:33] K
    O-Okay.
[07:35] Sasa
    Well, later.
[07:36] S
    Don't drown in the bathtub.
[07:38] K
    Come save me if I do.
[07:40] Imai
    That's not funny!
[07:42] Y
    See ya. Give my regards to Chizuru-san.
[07:45] Y
    I won't tell Nagomi-san about
    the stupid "blues" thing.
[07:49] Y
    Just stay with her.
[07:52] K
    What? No, we're still breaking up.
[07:55] Y
    You're still going on about that?
[07:59] K
    This is way more complicated than you think.
[08:03] K
    Ow!
[08:04] K
    Why'd you hit me again, jerk?!
[08:06] Y
    Life ain't as easy as you think,
[08:10] Y
    but it ain't as hard as
    people make it out to be.
[08:13] Y
    You put your life on the line for her.
[08:16] Y
    If that's not love, then what the hell is?
[08:20] Y
    Don't let her go. Your entire lifetime
    supply of semen depends on it.
SIGN    What a
    vulgar ass...
[08:28] K
    Not happening.
[08:30] K
    Mizuhara feels nothing for me.
[08:36] K
    Nothing at all...
[08:42] K
    Seriously, no! Not Mizuhara of all people!
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Wave
SIGN    Shiver
[08:45] K
    Don't forget her cold stare when she
    demands you fork over the money!
[08:50] K
    Her face might be smiling,
    but her eyes aren't!
SIGN    Her eyes
    aren't smiling
SIGN    Hey,
    uh...
SIGN    Do
    you
    mind?
[08:57] C
    Could you go be gross somewhere else?
[09:00] K
    M-Mizuhara!
[09:02] C
    Move.
[09:03] K
    S-Sure.
[09:15] K
    I-I already made the booking for next week.
[09:19] K
    No actual date.
[09:20] K
    I'll put the money in your post box.
[09:22] K
    So, uh... Once again...
[09:26] K
    I'm sorry and stuff.
[09:29] C
    I see. Thanks.
[09:39] K
    That was just CPR to keep her client alive.
[09:44] K
    Part of her job.
[09:50] K
    Only a fool would fall for
    a girl like that for real.
[09:57] K
    Reminiscing already? We just got back.
SIGN    Gulp
[10:06] K
    Yeesh. Can't you even lay
    low for two days in a row?
[10:23] M
    No, Kazu-kun.
[10:29] K
    Whoa... This is gonna be a big one.
[10:34] M
    Sheesh, stop it!
[10:39] M
    No, don't!
[10:43] (Flashback) C
    You must be Kazuya-kun, right?
SIGN    Shake
[10:48] ---
    Hell no!
[10:50] M
    You're such a bad boy, Kazu-kun.
[10:54] K
    Mami-chan...
[10:56] (Flashback) C
    Whenever you find yourself
    feeling like a rabbit,
[10:59] (Flashback) C
    feel free to call me.
[11:02] K
    Mami-chan!
[11:04] M
    Come on, Kazu-kun.
[11:06] (Flashback) C
    You can rent me out for just
    one hour every Wednesday.
[11:11] M
    Hey!
[11:13] (Flashback) C
    Don't badmouth my Kazuya-san.
[11:17] K
    Mami-chan...
[11:19] M
    You know you can't do that.
[11:21] (Flashback) C
    If you want, I can give you both.
[11:24] M
    Kazu-kun!
[11:27] (Flashback) C
    I'm Mizuhara Chizuru,
    Kazuya-san's girlfriend.
[11:31] K
    Mami-chan!
[11:32] (Flashback) C
    I guess you can be a man if you try.
[11:38] C
    Kazuya-kun.
[11:47] K
    If I told her this was how it all began,
    Mizuhara would be pissed.
[11:53] K
    But that was definitely
    the moment I realized...
[12:01] K
    N-No... I can't be...
[12:04] K
    ...that these feelings had passed
    the point of no return.
SIGN    Lab and Seminar Wing
SIGN    College Wing 2
SIGN    Auditorium | Cafeteria
[12:14] G
    What'd you do over summer break?
[12:16] G
    Gotta find a job.
[12:18] Kawa
    Chizuru...
[12:20] Kawa
    You do know that urban legend
    about summer break, right?
[12:24] C
    Again, I'm sorry. My tummy
    started hurting really badly...
SIGN    Blush
[12:30] Kawa
    Oh, we met at the beach.
[12:31] C
    Okay, let's get going!
[12:32] Shinbo
    Huh? What's gotten into you?
[12:34] C
    Let's just go!
[12:39] K
    What's going on?
[12:41] K
    I've never reacted to her like that...
[12:44] K
    No, stop it!
[12:45] K
    Mizuhara's just a rental girlfriend!
[12:47] K
    That's it! Nothing more!
[12:52] K
    Man, am I really...
[12:57] N
    Hey, keep your eyes on the road.
[13:00] Kaz
    Yeah, yeah, I know.
[13:02] K
    Why are we going into the mountains?
[13:04] N
    Health tourism, my boy.
[13:05] N
    I snagged a booking for a hot springs resort
    known for helping your organs recover.
[13:10] H
    I hear they serve pheasant for dinner.
    It's Mt. Akagi's local specialty!
[13:14] N
    Pheasant? That takes me back!
[13:17] N
    Haven't had any since I got some
    from a customer at the bar...
[13:18] K
    Well, can't complain if it's for health.
[13:22] Sign
    International Resort
[13:22] Sign
    Nashigi-kan
[13:22] N
    We're here! Nashigi-kan, Gunma's
    hidden-away hot springs resort!
[13:27] N
    We get welcome drinks for free!
[13:31] N
    And we can get up to thirty ice creams
    from the lobby machine at no extra charge!
[13:34] K
    Thirty? I'd spend all day on the can!
[13:37] N
    Is our friend not here yet?
[13:39] K
    Huh? Friend?
[13:40] N
    Oh, there she is. Sayutaso!
[13:42] K
    "Sayutaso"?
[13:44] Sa
    Oh, Nagomin!
[13:46] K
    What?!
[13:47] K
    Mizuhara's grandma?!
[13:49] H
    Oh, Ichinose-san. Good to see you again.
[13:52] Kaz
    Thank you for looking after
    my mother in the hospital.
[13:55] Sa
    No, I should be the one thanking her.
[13:57] N
    Come on, say hello.
[13:59] K
    Wh-Why's Ichinose-san here?
[14:02] N
    She got all better and was discharged, too,
[14:05] N
    so we decided to go on a
    trip together to celebrate.
[14:08] Sa
    Thank you so much for inviting me.
[14:12] H
    What are you doing? You're acting strange.
[14:15] K
    U-Uh, well,
[14:16] K
    I'm just wondering if the person whose
    name starts with "Chi" is here, too.
[14:20] N
    "Chi"? None of our hospital
    buddies had a name like that.
[14:24] K
    O-Oh.
SIGN    Haseo-tei
[14:30] N
    You're over there.
[14:33] N
    I could only get one room
    in the luxury Haseo-tei,
[14:37] N
    so I got you one elsewhere.
[14:40] K
    What?
[14:41] N
    Do you want to force Ichinose-san
    into a regular room?
[14:45] Sa
    Sorry about this, Kazuya-kun.
[14:47] N
    Here's your key.
[14:49] N
    Let's sleep together, Sayutaso!
[14:51] Sa
    Sure, Nagomin!
[14:53] K
    Gotcha. Never mind me.
    Just enjoy your discharge trip.
[14:58] N
    Wow, I have such an understanding grandson.
[15:05] N
    There he goes.
[15:06] Sa
    There he goes, indeed.
[15:17] K
    Why's it unlocked?
[15:20] K
    Nobody's here.
[15:23] K
    Huh? Did the previous guest leave those?
[15:25] K
    Clean it up, staff!
[15:27] K
    Well, I guess I can chill out more by myself.
[15:31] K
    I feel bad 'cause our grandmas
    seem to be having fun,
[15:34] K
    but I have to tell them during this trip
    that we broke up. For Mizuhara's sake, too.
[15:42] C
    Hey, Grandma!
[15:44] C
    Can you help me do my hair?
[15:51] K
    Wha...
[15:52] C
    Wh-What are you doing here?!
[15:55] K
    M-Mizuhara?!
[15:57] Sign
    Boing♥
[16:03] K
    H-Hey, wait up!
[16:07] K
    Where are you going, Mizuhara?
[16:11] C
    How haven't you realized? We've been set up!
[16:14] C
    The Grandma Axis is conspiring to get
    the grandkids to form an alliance!
[16:18] K
    "Conspiring"? That's a bit overblown.
[16:20] C
    I don't mind them getting along,
[16:23] C
    but they're meddling too much in our affairs.
[16:25] C
    I'm giving them a piece of my mind!
[16:27] K
    R-Right.
[16:28] C
    Stop right there. Take the stairs.
[16:32] K
    Huh?
[16:35] K
    Oh, right, closed elevator and all.
SIGN    Haseo-tei
[16:39] N
    Sorry about that, Chizuru-san.
[16:41] Sa
    It's okay, Chizuru.
    You have fun with Kazuya-kun.
[16:45] C
    Don't give me that!
    I was waiting for you in the room!
[16:50] K
    Sh-She's right, Gran. This is too much.
[16:53] N
    Look, we had them arrange for yukata
    and personalized dinners for us.
[16:57] N
    Changing rooms now would
    inconvenience the hotel staff.
[17:01] Sa
    What's the problem, Chizuru?
    You two are dating.
[17:05] C
    Sure, but sharing a room is too much.
[17:09] C
    We haven't crossed that line yet.
[17:12] K
    "That" line?!
[17:14] K
    Mizuhara?!
[17:15] N
    What? You haven't done it yet?
[17:18] N
    We assumed you would have.
[17:20] Sa
    You two are so reserved.
[17:22] N
    Well, no time like the present.
[17:24] Sa
    Go all in.
[17:24] K
    Don't give me that!
[17:24] C
    Don't give me that!
[17:26] Sa
    Run along to your room now, you two.
[17:30] ---
    W-Wait a second!
[17:34] C
    What now?
[17:38] K
    Telling them we broke up now
    would just ruin the trip.
[17:42] K
    We could ask for another room, I guess...
[17:45] K
    But I'm broke.
[17:47] C
    Don't go there. I'm low this month, too.
[17:51] K
    When you're that expensive?
[17:53] C
    Something to say?
[17:55] K
    No...
[17:56] K
    When you're that expensive?
[17:58] C
    God, this sucks.
[18:00] C
    Sharing a hotel room with
    a client is a disaster.
[18:05] K
    All that aside...
[18:13] K
    Yukata Mizuhara is out of this world!
[18:23] K
    There's no way I'd last an entire
    night with her in the same room.
[18:31] C
    Forget it. I'm just gonna enjoy this.
[18:34] K
    Huh?
[18:35] C
    My grandmom paid a small fortune for this.
[18:38] C
    Can't let it go to waste!
[18:40] K
    Such resilience!
[18:42] C
    I'm hitting the bath.
[18:44] K
    Wait...
[18:46] C
    I know it's awkward,
    but this can't keep going on.
[18:50] C
    I'm gonna tell them we broke up.
[18:52] C
    Got that?
[18:57] Sign
    Yakushi Bath
[19:00] N
    This gacha's rates suck!
[19:06] N
    Chizuru?
[19:08] N
    Am I living the lucky lecher trope now?!
[19:14] K
    Our relationship was a lie.
[19:17] K
    It was all a lie I told.
[19:21] K
    My feelings don't factor into it.
[19:25] N
    Ah, I see. So that trope only
    counts when it's the opposite sex?
[19:30] C
    Y-Yes.
[19:31] N
    You learn something new every day.
[19:33] C
    Um, Mrs. Kinoshita, I shouldn't
    be making you do this.
[19:37] N
    Don't sweat it.
[19:38] N
    'Tis an honor to be washing my future
    granddaughter-in-law's sultry back.
[19:43] C
    Oh, please. What's sexy about a back?
[19:46] N
    Says the girl with this spunky bottom
[19:49] N
    and these bountiful breasts.
[19:51] N
    You're truly a ray of hope that
    shines upon us Kinoshitas.
[19:55] N
    I'll take great care to wash you inside and out.
[19:58] C
    Wait...
[20:00] N
    After all, the father's
    genes won't be worth squat.
[20:03] N
    I apologize for my grandson.
[20:05] C
    Uh, you don't have to.
[20:08] N
    This is also a remembrance trip, you see.
[20:12] N
    Today's the date my husband passed.
[20:16] C
    What? Then...
[20:18] N
    Oh, don't worry about me. I'm over it now.
[20:24] N
    That said, it was always a day
    that made me feel a little lonely,
[20:28] N
    but I got out of the hospital,
    made a new friend,
[20:32] N
    and even got to take a bath with you.
[20:36] N
    It has become a special day for me now.
[20:41] C
    Can I ask you something?
    What would you do if I were lying?
[20:50] C
    What if I weren't the kind
    of person you think I am?
[21:00] N
    Nobody goes through life without lying.
[21:04] N
    I'd love you even if you were an alien.
[21:16] C
    I've given up on trying
    to figure out this mess!
[21:19] C
    Gotta get our money's worth!
[21:21] C
    Here, cheers.
[21:24] K
    Ch-Cheers.
[21:28] C
    So yummy!
[21:33] C
    Uh, isn't that the sauce?
[21:35] K
    I thought it was soup!
[21:37] K
    I drank quite a bit...
[21:42] C
    You're such a dolt!
[21:51] K
    I've never seen her laugh
    like a normal girl before.
[21:55] K
    I guess I really am a bother to her.
[22:00] K
    Well, night.
[22:02] K
    I can sleep in the bathroom or by the door.
[22:06] K
    I know you won't have pleasant
    dreams with me around.
[22:11] C
    What's the big deal?
[22:14] C
    Why can't you just sleep here?
SIGN    Wha?!
SIGN    W
    e
    l
    c
    o
    m
    e
    
    ♥
SIGN    You're so
    childish
SIGN    Puts men
    to shame
SIGN    Already a chief
    at her young age
SIGN    Sensei!
SIGN    I need your help
    with homework!
[23:57] C
    Mrs. Kinoshita, there's
    something we must tell you.
[24:00] N
    I know.
[24:02] K
    What? You knew?
[24:03] N
    It was obvious.
[24:04] C
    That makes it easier, then.
[24:06] K
    Yeah. Gran, we actually...
[24:10] N
    You're finally doing the deed, right?
[24:12] C
    Huh? Doing what?
[24:14] N
    Having sex! S-E-X!
[24:17] N
    Ah, how wonderful!
    This is the best day of my life!
[24:20] N
    Now, on the next episode
    of Rent-a-Girlfriend:
[24:22] K
    "Girlfriend...
[24:23] C
    ...and Girlfriend."
SIGN    "Girlfriend and Girlfriend"
[24:24] N
    Bring out the champagne!