E17 - Birthday and Girlfriend

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    April 15th, three days since that morning
SIGN    Pile
[00:07] Kazuya
    I should really take out the trash.
[00:18] Kazuya
    Mizuhara!
[00:22] Chizuru
    That startled me. Don't throw the
    door open while I'm walking by.
SIGN    Your very existence
    is loud, isn't it?
[00:26] Kazuya
    G-Good morning!
[00:28] Chizuru
    Morning.
[00:36] Kazuya
    She's being kinda... distant?
[00:39] Kazuya
    A-Am I just imagining it? Either way...
[00:43] Kazuya
    I'll never get used to how cute she is!
SIGN    Opened the door
    to a drop-dead beauty
[00:46] Kazuya
    She's like an alternate dimension
    in this run-down apartment complex.
[00:49] Kazuya
    Does she have no makeup
    on? Are you kidding me?
SIGN    Her skin looks
    so smooth
[00:52] Kazuya
    If that's how she looks au naturel,
SIGN    And so clear, too.
    I might prefer this, actually.
[00:53] Kazuya
    it makes you doubt
    the very purpose of makeup.
[00:57] Kazuya
    She's not exactly dressed to kill,
[00:59] Kazuya
    and yet look at this aura!
[01:02] Kazuya
    Is she really the same species as me?
[01:09] Kazuya
    I wanna look, but I gotta hold back!
SIGN    What a
    freaking pervert
[01:17] Kazuya
    I-I'm thinking I'll rent
    you out again next week.
[01:20] Kazuya
    I found a good place in Ikebukuro.
[01:22] Kazuya
    Has good clams, apparently!
[01:25] Chizuru
    Oh?
[01:27] Kazuya
    Okay, something's off.
[01:29] Chizuru
    What about Ruka-chan?
[01:31] Kazuya
    Huh? Ruka-chan?
[01:34] Chizuru
    I mean, didn't she stay over the other night?
[01:38] (Flashback) Ruka
    See you, Kazuya-kun! Thank you!
[01:42] Kazuya
    She heard all that!
SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend
[03:17] Chizuru
    It means the two of you... Right?
SIGN    "Birthday and Girlfriend"
[03:21] Kazuya
    N-Nothing happened, really.
[03:24] Kazuya
    She just stayed the night.
[03:26] Kazuya
    She came over saying she'd make me dinner...
[03:28] Kazuya
    And I had no idea there
    was a typhoon coming.
[03:31] Kazuya
    Remember how it was raining cats and dogs?
[03:33] Kazuya
    While we were arguing,
    the trains stopped running, too.
[03:36] Kazuya
    And I didn't have the heart
    to throw her out by herself.
[03:39] Kazuya
    I gotta state my case... The truth,
    the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
[03:45] Kazuya
    Though, well, it's only natural that she'd
    misunderstand, after what she heard.
[03:50] Chizuru
    Lies.
[03:53] Chizuru
    It's fine. You don't have to lie to me.
[03:58] Chizuru
    Sorry if I've made things awkward,
    but you don't have to walk on eggshells.
[04:02] Chizuru
    I do have some understanding
    of what boys are like.
[04:05] Kazuya
    No, wait!
[04:08] Chizuru
    I'm the one who told you to date her,
[04:10] Chizuru
    and Ruka-chan is cute. I don't blame you.
[04:12] Kazuya
    M-Mizu...
[04:13] Chizuru
    As a hired hand, I can't
    tell you not to rent me out,
[04:18] Chizuru
    but you should really know
    where to draw the line.
[04:21] Kazuya
    H-Hey, Mizuhara-san?!
SIGN    S
    L
    A
    M
[04:26] Kazuya
    No way... Are you kidding me?
SIGN    Came back
    with the trash
[04:28] Kazuya
    I tried so hard to hold back,
[04:29] Kazuya
    and she still thinks I did it!
    What is this torture?!
[04:33] Kazuya
    I didn't sleep with Ruka-chan!
    I kept it in my pants, honest!
[04:37] Kazuya
    After all,
[04:39] Kazuya
    I... love you!
[04:43] Chizuru
    I won't let you take these kids.
[04:47] Ruka
    See you, Kazuya-kun! Thank you!
[04:48] Chizuru
    I won't let you take these kids!
[04:50] Ruka
    I'll forever remember the
    joy I felt last night!
[04:59] Chizuru
    Focus, focus!
SIGN    Turn
    
    Turn
SIGN    Walk
    
    Walk
[05:05] Kazuya
    What do I do about this?!
[05:08] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan did stay over,
SIGN    She's got
    the wrong idea...!!
[05:10] Kazuya
    and given how I've always acted,
    nothing I say is convincing.
[05:14] Kazuya
    Should I rent her out next
    week and try to explain then?
[05:18] Kazuya
    Feels like she won't even
    hear me out unless I do.
[05:24] Kazuya
    Huh?
[05:25] Kazuya
    Wh... Wha?!
[05:27] Kazuya
    Her birthday's this week!
SIGN    Mizuhara Chizuru
    Birthday - April 19
    A pure and refined
    high-class girlfriend
[05:31] Kazuya
    Oh, man! I almost let it
    pass without noticing.
[05:35] Kazuya
    I haven't repaid her for
    the Christmas gift yet,
[05:37] Kazuya
    so I can't ignore this.
[05:39] Kazuya
    She's already in a bad mood over
    this whole Ruka-chan thing.
[05:43] Kazuya
    I'd better do something
    for her and clear the air.
[05:47] Kazuya
    But... what should I get her?
[05:50] Kazuya
    I have zero idea what to
    get a girl for her birthday.
SIGN    Birthday Presents for Girls
    
    
    1
    2
    3
    4
    5
SIGN    Top 5 Ranking
SIGN    Necklace
    Holiday
    Watch
    Ring
    Bag
[05:56] Kazuya
    The number 1 present girls want... a necklace.
[05:59] Kazuya
    Number 2... a holiday?!
SIGN    Nope.
    Too needy!!
[06:01] Kazuya
    Are these girls for real?!
[06:03] Kazuya
    She gave me a phone case, so something
    priced similarly would be good.
[06:08] Kazuya
    But you can't really throw a stuffed
    toy away, so it might be annoying.
SIGN    They don't really
    feel like "presents."
[06:11] Kazuya
    And daily-use items would be like, "What?"
[06:14] Kazuya
    Not too expensive, not too cheap,
[06:16] Kazuya
    not too casual, not too serious,
[06:18] Kazuya
    not too special, and not too commonplace?
[06:20] Kazuya
    Does such a thing exist?
[06:22] Chizuru
    The most complicated thing in the world
SIGN    Mizuhara Memo
    The most complicated thing
    in the world is deciding what
    to give someone you're in a
    complicated relationship with!
[06:25] Chizuru
    is deciding what to give someone you're
    in a complicated relationship with!
SIGN    I'm checkmated!!
[06:32] Kazuya
    Man, I don't even know
    what Mizuhara would want.
[06:39] Kazuya
    Oh, right!
[06:40] Kazuya
    I could ask her!
SIGN    Accept the terms & conditions and book.
SIGN    Booking complete.
SIGN    m 0 0 l 50 0 l 50 150 l 0 150
SIGN    April
    19th
[06:47] Kazuya
    I gotta settle on a present
    for Mizuhara today.
SIGN    Remember me? It's Kinoshita.
    Looking forward to our date.
SIGN    Sumi-chan
[06:51] Kazuya
    I bet she can help.
SIGN    Kazuya-kun!!! I'm so happy!
    I can't wait for our date either!
    Where shall we go?!
    Can we meet up in
    the same spot as last time?
[06:55] Kazuya
    Wow, she talks a lot over text, huh?
SIGN    Still cute...
SIGN    Pedestrians
    and Bicycles
    Only
[07:11] (Flashback) Kazuya
    Like hell you and I are the same!
[07:15] (Flashback) Kazuya
    You were great today, too.
[07:17] (Flashback) Kazuya
    You were the best actor on the stage!
[07:20] (Flashback) Kazuya
    So don't tell me you're gonna give up!
[07:24] (Flashback) Chizuru
    Why would I need your
    help that badly, anyway?
[07:26] (Flashback) Chizuru
    You really need to take a long,
    hard look at reality.
[07:40] Kazuya
    Well, we have plenty of time,
SIGN    Booked
    for
    2 hours
[07:43] Kazuya
    so I can ask about Mizuhara
    toward the end or something.
[07:46] Kazuya
    Besides, there's no way
    I could ask Ruka-chan.
SIGN    I'd be diving
    right into hell...
[07:50] Kazuya
    I think Sumi-chan and Mizuhara are
    friends, so she probably knows.
[07:55] Kazuya
    I seriously thought that typhoon would
    rip my run-down building outta the ground!
[07:59] Randoa
    Yo, check her out.
[08:00] Randob
    What a cutie!
[08:03] Kazuya
    Sumi-chan's frighteningly cute again.
[08:07] Kazuya
    Yeah, she's painfully shy,
[08:08] Kazuya
    but if you didn't know that, she'd just
    look like a pure, well-mannered beauty.
[08:12] Kazuya
    She's basically a girl ripped
    straight out of a fairy tale.
[08:15] Kazuya
    She nailed her outfit today, too.
[08:18] Kazuya
    While she mostly wears cutesy stuff,
    it's not like she lacks sex appeal...
[08:22] Kazuya
    No, stop! You're debasing
    this innocent girl again!
[08:27] Kazuya
    Shall we get going?
[08:29] Sumi
    Yup.
SIGN    Couple Mode
[08:30] Machine
    Next, hug her from behind.
[08:33] Machine
    And eyes on the camera!
[08:34] Kazuya
    H... Hug?!
[08:35] Machine
    Three... two...
SIGN    4/19 Date
[08:44] Kazuya
    Damn, I look gross.
SIGN    Eyes wide open,
    skin glowing
[08:46] Kazuya
    And Sumi-chan looks no different at all.
[08:49] Kazuya
    Her face is so slender!
[08:50] Kazuya
    This is the difference
    in potential between us.
[08:53] Kazuya
    Damn it! I wanna show her
    off as my girlfriend!
SIGN    Though she's
    a rental...
[09:08] Kazuya
    Mizuhara probably wouldn't
    like a stuffed toy too much.
SIGN    She's too
    down-to-earth
[09:14] Kazuya
    I wish they taught you how
    to pick presents in college.
[09:19] Kazuya
    What's up, Sumi-chan? You want the hat?
[09:24] Kazuya
    Oh, for me?
[09:26] Kazuya
    Well? Do I look good?
SIGN    Clap Clap
[09:29] Kazuya
    R-Really? Yay.
[09:33] Sumi
    ...l.
[09:36] Sumi
    You look... cool.
[09:40] Kazuya
    For real?!
[09:42] Kazuya
    Whoa, it's just 500 yen! Guess I'll buy it!
SIGN    So
    cheap
[09:49] Kazuya
    Gimme the positive reinforcement! All of it!
[09:51] Kazuya
    I can feel it!
SIGN    PUFF PUFF
SIGN    Hehehe♥
[09:53] Kazuya
    My dried-up sense of self-esteem
SIGN    Hup Hup
[09:57] Kazuya
    is being brought back to life
    by cute little Sumi-chan!
[10:00] Kazuya
    I say this without a doubt:
    this feels so good!
SIGN    Patch
[10:02] Kazuya
    Almost terrifyingly so!
SIGN    PUFF PUFF
[10:04] Kazuya
    The walls of my common sense
    are starting to creak!
SIGN    Smile Smile
SIGN    I'm falling into
    my old ways again...
[10:08] Kazuya
    But...
[10:10] Kazuya
    She's totally acting like a
    real girlfriend right now.
[10:14] Kazuya
    Slowly but surely, she's making progress.
[10:19] Kazuya
    I gotta move forward, too.
[10:23] Kazuya
    Man, that hour just flew by.
[10:28] Kazuya
    Y'know, there was something
    I wanted to ask you today.
[10:33] Kazuya
    Oh, you don't have to get
    all serious about it.
[10:36] Kazuya
    You know today's Mizuhara's birthday, right?
[10:41] Kazuya
    She's always helping me out,
    so I wanna give her something.
[10:45] Kazuya
    But I'm not good at this kinda thing.
    I don't know what a good gift would be.
[10:50] Kazuya
    You and she seem to talk often,
[10:53] Kazuya
    so I figured you might know what she'd want.
SIGN    Gloom
SIGN    Fluster
[11:00] Kazuya
    A-Ah, it's fine! It's fine if you don't!
SIGN    Huh?
    What now!?
SIGN    Tap Tap
[11:06] Kazuya
    She's typing it out?
SIGN    Show
SIGN    Three Kingdoms.
    Chizuru-chan loves
    the Three Kingdoms.
SIGN    BAM
[11:10] Kazuya
    The Three Kingdoms?
[11:16] Kazuya
    Not very "birthday present"-like, though.
[11:19] Kazuya
    It's a little clichéd.
SIGN    Teary
[11:24] Kazuya
    I'm sorry! Thanks!
[11:25] Kazuya
    That was super helpful!
[11:31] Kazuya
    There's that thousand-yard stare again!
[11:35] Kazuya
    Oh, flowers?
[11:37] Kazuya
    Flowers, huh?
[11:41] Kazuya
    These are for you. Happy birthday.
[11:44] Chizuru
    Lame!
[11:45] Chizuru
    Have you tried looking in the mirror?
[11:50] Kazuya
    Yeah, that's a nope from me.
[11:53] Kazuya
    It's so not me.
SIGN    You're overthinking it!
    I'd be happy!
[11:58] Kazuya
    Sorry, I'm a real fool, aren't I?
[12:01] Kazuya
    Who do I think I am?
[12:03] Kazuya
    I know Mizuhara's a popular girl.
[12:06] Kazuya
    She won't think anything
    of a gift I give her.
[12:10] Kazuya
    But...
[12:12] Kazuya
    Still, I can't bring myself to
    just pick something at random.
[12:21] Kazuya
    Wh-Whoa!
[12:25] Kazuya
    What's gotten into Sumi-chan
    all of a sudden?!
SIGN    fuu fuu
SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend
[12:33] Kazuya
    Th-This is...
[12:35] Kazuya
    a department store?
[12:37] Kazuya
    Department store to department store?
SIGN    Abnormal Situation in Play
[12:39] Kazuya
    What? What's going on?
SIGN    Glance
[12:41] Kazuya
    Should I say something?
[12:43] Kazuya
    Like, "Sumi-chan, all we've done
    is move department stores."
[12:46] Kazuya
    "It hasn't changed anything!"
SIGN    Probably not
    these things
[12:48] Kazuya
    Or is there something we can only buy here?
SIGN    Ah!
[12:53] Kazuya
    Huh? Where are we going?
[12:55] Kazuya
    Oh, the elevators?
[13:02] Kazuya
    Huh? The roof?
SIGN    Not the stores?
[13:06] Kazuya
    Is there something up there?
SIGN    Punch Punch
SIGN    Impossible to decipher
[13:10] Kazuya
    Okay, I don't get it.
SIGN    Kick Kick
[13:14] Kazuya
    Guess I should just shut up and follow her.
SIGN    She seems
    super serious
[13:22] Kazuya
    Huh? What are those voices?
[13:27] Kazuya
    Kids?
SIGN    S Seats on Sale
SIGN    Those Rent-a-Fighters, that ragtag
    group of heroes has come to Nerima!!
SIGN    Ragtag Heroes
[13:28] Sign
    Rent-a-Fighters
[13:30] Kazuya
    Oh, hey!
[13:31] Sign
    Ragtag Heroes Rent-a-Fighters
SIGN    Hero Show
[13:35] Kazuya
    A hero show? This takes me back!
[13:38] Rent-A-Red
    Take this! Rent-a-Lock!
[13:43] Kazuya
    So?
[13:44] Kazuya
    What does this have to do with the present?
SIGN    She looks super happy!
[13:51] Kazuya
    Wait, does she just like this stuff?
SIGN    Not related to
    my present thing?
[13:53] Kazuya
    Did she forget all about
    helping with the present?
[13:56] Sign
    B
    E
    A
    M
[14:00] Kazuya
    Oh, well. As long as she's having fun.
[14:04] Kazuya
    Huh... So this is how hero suits
    are designed these days.
[14:09] Kazuya
    Man, how many years has it been
    since I last saw one of these?
[14:14] Kazuya
    Hey, that Pink is pretty awesome.
[14:17] Kazuya
    She's got a great body, and she moves great.
[14:21] Girl
    Go, Rent-a-Pink!
[14:21] Kazuya
    Is it just me, or is she really standing out?
[14:23] Rent-A-Red
    You okay, Pink?!
[14:24] Chizuru
    Yes.
[14:26] Chizuru
    I won't let you take these kids!
[14:29] Kazuya
    Huh?
[14:31] Kazuya
    What?!
[14:32] Chizuru
    Give it up and get lost!
[14:33] Kazuya
    That voice...
[14:34] Villain
    Ugh... Curses!
[14:41] Kazuya
    I-I knew it.
[14:44] Kazuya
    It's Mizuhara!
[14:49] Kid 1
    Rent-a-Fighter!
[14:50] Chizuru
    Ugh, my powers are...
[14:51] Kid 2
    Pink!
[14:53] Chizuru
    As a Rent-a-Fighter, I must defend the Earth!
[14:56] Kazuya
    I get it.
[14:58] Kazuya
    Sumi-chan brought me here thinking I might
    get some kind of hint from watching this.
[15:04] Kazuya
    Mizuhara...
[15:05] Mc
    Kids! Cheer them on with all you've got!
[15:06] Kazuya
    It's not just the rental girlfriend gig.
    She's taking these jobs, too.
[15:08] Kids
    Hang in there!
[15:10] Kids
    Don't lose!
[15:11] Kazuya
    She barely has any time,
    but she's still here doing this.
[15:15] Kazuya
    Just how hard on herself is she?!
[15:19] (Flashback) Chizuru
    So I at least want my grandma
    to see me performing on screen.
[15:24] (Flashback) Chizuru
    That's my dream.
[15:26] Kazuya
    Hang in there,
[15:29] Kazuya
    Mizuhara!
[15:44] Kazuya
    It's time to go, huh?
SIGN    Rental time was
    until 6 PM
[15:46] Kazuya
    Thanks for showing me that.
[15:48] Kazuya
    I'll take it into account and try one
    more time to think of a gift to give her.
SIGN    Show
SIGN    Presents are
    all about the sentiment
SIGN    Tap
    Tap
SIGN    Awkward intervals
SIGN    If you put your heart into it,
    I'd be happy with anything you gave me
[16:10] Kazuya
    Sumi-chan...
[16:12] Kazuya
    Yeah, you're right.
[16:15] Kazuya
    I feel a lot more confident now!
[16:17] Kazuya
    I'm glad I rented you today.
[16:19] Kazuya
    Thanks, Sumi-chan.
[16:21] Kazuya
    Take care on your way back!
[16:23] Kazuya
    I'll go look for a present!
[16:32] (Flashback) Kazuya
    So don't tell me you're gonna give up!
[16:50] Kazuya
    Okay, time to start searching in the
    cosmetics department on the first floor...
[17:00] Sumi
    Wait.
[17:03] Kazuya
    Sumi-chan?
[17:09] Kazuya
    S-Sumi-chan...
[17:16] Kazuya
    Okay, I'm waiting! What's up?
SIGN    Didn't think
    this through
[17:23] Kazuya
    Uh... erm...
[17:26] Kazuya
    She's not saying a thing.
[17:28] Kazuya
    She stops me and gives
    me the silent treatment?
[17:31] Kazuya
    But she's blushing up a storm.
    She must be trying to say something.
[17:34] Kazuya
    D-Did you forget something?
[17:38] Kazuya
    Wait, was the payment short?
[17:42] Kazuya
    What is it, then?
SIGN    Why this silence...
[17:47] Sumi
    I wanna know, too...
[17:50] Sumi
    Like, your birthday, Kazuya-kun.
[17:53] Kazuya
    Huh? My birthday?
[17:56] Kazuya
    It's June 1st, why?
SIGN    An
    inexplicable
    gaze...
SIGN    New event
     Kazuya-kun's birthday
    Event added to calendar
[18:34] Kazuya
    What got into Sumi-chan back there?
SIGN    Got me all
    worked up
[18:39] Jk1
    Huh? What's with the ring, Yuuko?
[18:42] Jk2
    B-day gift from my BF.
SIGN    Sparkle
SIGN    Sparkle
SIGN    Sigh
SIGN    Gloom
[18:49] Kazuya
    Man, what do I even get Mizuhara?
SIGN    Pressing Issue
SIGN    Neverending Issue
[18:54] Kazuya
    Something not too expensive, not too cheap,
[18:56] Kazuya
    not too casual, and not too serious?
[19:00] Kazuya
    Something Mizuhara would
    like to receive from me?
[19:03] Kazuya
    The more I think about it,
    the more I feel like it doesn't exist.
[19:06] (Flashback) Sumi
    If you put your heart into it,
    I'd be happy with anything you gave me.
[19:12] Kazuya
    "Heart," huh?
[19:21] Kazuya
    Welp, I just gotta tough this out!
[19:25] Kazuya
    I love you, Mizuhara!
[19:30] Chizuru
    No, I'm fine.
    Just felt a little chill, is all.
[19:34] Chizuru
    You didn't have to call me
    to tell me happy birthday.
[19:38] Chizuru
    Should you really be up and about, Grandma?
[19:41] Chizuru
    Dinner?
[19:43] Chizuru
    I'm worn out today. No appetite.
[19:46] Chizuru
    What can I do about it?
[19:49] Chizuru
    Anyway, I need to take a
    shower, so I'm hanging up.
[19:51] Chizuru
    Yeah, thanks.
SIGN    Shi-chan
SIGN    Happy birthday!
SIGN    Shi-chan
SIGN    Happy birthday! I wanna perform
    with you again, Chi-chan!
SIGN    Shake Shake
SIGN    Thanks! Same here!
SIGN    Happy Birthday
[21:05] Kazuya
    Because you're always helping me out,
    and also in return for the phone case.
[21:09] Chizuru
    Sheesh. I told him it was a token of apology.
[21:12] Kazuya
    I know you're working really
    hard to be an actress.
[21:15] Kazuya
    I hear these things alleviate
    fatigue, so I hope they help.
SIGN    Box within
    the box
[21:34] Chizuru
    Pickled plum? Why?
SIGN    P.S. Nothing happened
    with Ruka-chan, I swear!
[21:38] Kazuya
    P.S. Nothing happened
    with Ruka-chan, I swear!
SIGN    A small part
    of the letter,
    but it has a
    threatening aura
[21:44] Chizuru
    Sheesh, what an idiot.
[22:08] Chizuru
    So sour!
[22:15] Chizuru
    Guess I'll cook some rice.
[23:47] Kazuya
    Gah!
SIGN    Wriggle Wriggle
[23:49] Kazuya
    Has Mizuhara looked at it yet?
[23:51] Kazuya
    Maybe pickled plums were the wrong choice!
SIGN    Am I some kind of geezer?
[23:52] Kazuya
    But then, what was the right one?!
[23:58] Chizuru
    Time for Mizuhara Memo #2.
[24:00] Chizuru
    If you gift an accessory to someone
    you're on complicated terms with,
[24:02] Chizuru
    it'll likely find itself on some auction
    site before long, so be careful.
[24:06] Kazuya
    Then what even is a good gift?
[24:07] Chizuru
    It's always a good idea
    to pick a safe option.
[24:10] Kazuya
    But that won't convey my feelings.
[24:12] Kazuya
    Mizuhara!
[24:14] Kazuya
    What I really wanted to give you as a present
[24:16] Kazuya
    was my lifelong buddy, my v—
[24:18] Chizuru
    Rent-a-Kick!
[24:20] Chizuru
    Anyway, next time on Rent-a-Girlfriend:
[24:22] Chizuru
    "Booze...
[24:23] Kazuya
    ...and Girlfriend."
SIGN    "Booze and Girlfriend"
[24:24] Chizuru
    Alcohol is for adults only!