E17 - Birthday and Girlfriend Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) SIGN    April 15th, three days since that morning SIGN    Pile [00:07] Kazuya     I should really take out the trash. [00:18] Kazuya     Mizuhara! [00:22] Chizuru     That startled me. Don't throw the     door open while I'm walking by. SIGN    Your very existence     is loud, isn't it? [00:26] Kazuya     G-Good morning! [00:28] Chizuru     Morning. [00:36] Kazuya     She's being kinda... distant? [00:39] Kazuya     A-Am I just imagining it? Either way... [00:43] Kazuya     I'll never get used to how cute she is! SIGN    Opened the door     to a drop-dead beauty [00:46] Kazuya     She's like an alternate dimension     in this run-down apartment complex. [00:49] Kazuya     Does she have no makeup     on? Are you kidding me? SIGN    Her skin looks     so smooth [00:52] Kazuya     If that's how she looks au naturel, SIGN    And so clear, too.     I might prefer this, actually. [00:53] Kazuya     it makes you doubt     the very purpose of makeup. [00:57] Kazuya     She's not exactly dressed to kill, [00:59] Kazuya     and yet look at this aura! [01:02] Kazuya     Is she really the same species as me? [01:09] Kazuya     I wanna look, but I gotta hold back! SIGN    What a     freaking pervert [01:17] Kazuya     I-I'm thinking I'll rent     you out again next week. [01:20] Kazuya     I found a good place in Ikebukuro. [01:22] Kazuya     Has good clams, apparently! [01:25] Chizuru     Oh? [01:27] Kazuya     Okay, something's off. [01:29] Chizuru     What about Ruka-chan? [01:31] Kazuya     Huh? Ruka-chan? [01:34] Chizuru     I mean, didn't she stay over the other night? [01:38] (Flashback) Ruka     See you, Kazuya-kun! Thank you! [01:42] Kazuya     She heard all that! SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend [03:17] Chizuru     It means the two of you... Right? SIGN    "Birthday and Girlfriend" [03:21] Kazuya     N-Nothing happened, really. [03:24] Kazuya     She just stayed the night. [03:26] Kazuya     She came over saying she'd make me dinner... [03:28] Kazuya     And I had no idea there     was a typhoon coming. [03:31] Kazuya     Remember how it was raining cats and dogs? [03:33] Kazuya     While we were arguing,     the trains stopped running, too. [03:36] Kazuya     And I didn't have the heart     to throw her out by herself. [03:39] Kazuya     I gotta state my case... The truth,     the whole truth, and nothing but the truth! [03:45] Kazuya     Though, well, it's only natural that she'd     misunderstand, after what she heard. [03:50] Chizuru     Lies. [03:53] Chizuru     It's fine. You don't have to lie to me. [03:58] Chizuru     Sorry if I've made things awkward,     but you don't have to walk on eggshells. [04:02] Chizuru     I do have some understanding     of what boys are like. [04:05] Kazuya     No, wait! [04:08] Chizuru     I'm the one who told you to date her, [04:10] Chizuru     and Ruka-chan is cute. I don't blame you. [04:12] Kazuya     M-Mizu... [04:13] Chizuru     As a hired hand, I can't     tell you not to rent me out, [04:18] Chizuru     but you should really know     where to draw the line. [04:21] Kazuya     H-Hey, Mizuhara-san?! SIGN    S     L     A     M [04:26] Kazuya     No way... Are you kidding me? SIGN    Came back     with the trash [04:28] Kazuya     I tried so hard to hold back, [04:29] Kazuya     and she still thinks I did it!     What is this torture?! [04:33] Kazuya     I didn't sleep with Ruka-chan!     I kept it in my pants, honest! [04:37] Kazuya     After all, [04:39] Kazuya     I... love you! [04:43] Chizuru     I won't let you take these kids. [04:47] Ruka     See you, Kazuya-kun! Thank you! [04:48] Chizuru     I won't let you take these kids! [04:50] Ruka     I'll forever remember the     joy I felt last night! [04:59] Chizuru     Focus, focus! SIGN    Turn          Turn SIGN    Walk          Walk [05:05] Kazuya     What do I do about this?! [05:08] Kazuya     Ruka-chan did stay over, SIGN    She's got     the wrong idea...!! [05:10] Kazuya     and given how I've always acted,     nothing I say is convincing. [05:14] Kazuya     Should I rent her out next     week and try to explain then? [05:18] Kazuya     Feels like she won't even     hear me out unless I do. [05:24] Kazuya     Huh? [05:25] Kazuya     Wh... Wha?! [05:27] Kazuya     Her birthday's this week! SIGN    Mizuhara Chizuru     Birthday - April 19     A pure and refined     high-class girlfriend [05:31] Kazuya     Oh, man! I almost let it     pass without noticing. [05:35] Kazuya     I haven't repaid her for     the Christmas gift yet, [05:37] Kazuya     so I can't ignore this. [05:39] Kazuya     She's already in a bad mood over     this whole Ruka-chan thing. [05:43] Kazuya     I'd better do something     for her and clear the air. [05:47] Kazuya     But... what should I get her? [05:50] Kazuya     I have zero idea what to     get a girl for her birthday. SIGN    Birthday Presents for Girls               1     2     3     4     5 SIGN    Top 5 Ranking SIGN    Necklace     Holiday     Watch     Ring     Bag [05:56] Kazuya     The number 1 present girls want... a necklace. [05:59] Kazuya     Number 2... a holiday?! SIGN    Nope.     Too needy!! [06:01] Kazuya     Are these girls for real?! [06:03] Kazuya     She gave me a phone case, so something     priced similarly would be good. [06:08] Kazuya     But you can't really throw a stuffed     toy away, so it might be annoying. SIGN    They don't really     feel like "presents." [06:11] Kazuya     And daily-use items would be like, "What?" [06:14] Kazuya     Not too expensive, not too cheap, [06:16] Kazuya     not too casual, not too serious, [06:18] Kazuya     not too special, and not too commonplace? [06:20] Kazuya     Does such a thing exist? [06:22] Chizuru     The most complicated thing in the world SIGN    Mizuhara Memo     The most complicated thing     in the world is deciding what     to give someone you're in a     complicated relationship with! [06:25] Chizuru     is deciding what to give someone you're     in a complicated relationship with! SIGN    I'm checkmated!! [06:32] Kazuya     Man, I don't even know     what Mizuhara would want. [06:39] Kazuya     Oh, right! [06:40] Kazuya     I could ask her! SIGN    Accept the terms & conditions and book. SIGN    Booking complete. SIGN    m 0 0 l 50 0 l 50 150 l 0 150 SIGN    April     19th [06:47] Kazuya     I gotta settle on a present     for Mizuhara today. SIGN    Remember me? It's Kinoshita.     Looking forward to our date. SIGN    Sumi-chan [06:51] Kazuya     I bet she can help. SIGN    Kazuya-kun!!! I'm so happy!     I can't wait for our date either!     Where shall we go?!     Can we meet up in     the same spot as last time? [06:55] Kazuya     Wow, she talks a lot over text, huh? SIGN    Still cute... SIGN    Pedestrians     and Bicycles     Only [07:11] (Flashback) Kazuya     Like hell you and I are the same! [07:15] (Flashback) Kazuya     You were great today, too. [07:17] (Flashback) Kazuya     You were the best actor on the stage! [07:20] (Flashback) Kazuya     So don't tell me you're gonna give up! [07:24] (Flashback) Chizuru     Why would I need your     help that badly, anyway? [07:26] (Flashback) Chizuru     You really need to take a long,     hard look at reality. [07:40] Kazuya     Well, we have plenty of time, SIGN    Booked     for     2 hours [07:43] Kazuya     so I can ask about Mizuhara     toward the end or something. [07:46] Kazuya     Besides, there's no way     I could ask Ruka-chan. SIGN    I'd be diving     right into hell... [07:50] Kazuya     I think Sumi-chan and Mizuhara are     friends, so she probably knows. [07:55] Kazuya     I seriously thought that typhoon would     rip my run-down building outta the ground! [07:59] Randoa     Yo, check her out. [08:00] Randob     What a cutie! [08:03] Kazuya     Sumi-chan's frighteningly cute again. [08:07] Kazuya     Yeah, she's painfully shy, [08:08] Kazuya     but if you didn't know that, she'd just     look like a pure, well-mannered beauty. [08:12] Kazuya     She's basically a girl ripped     straight out of a fairy tale. [08:15] Kazuya     She nailed her outfit today, too. [08:18] Kazuya     While she mostly wears cutesy stuff,     it's not like she lacks sex appeal... [08:22] Kazuya     No, stop! You're debasing     this innocent girl again! [08:27] Kazuya     Shall we get going? [08:29] Sumi     Yup. SIGN    Couple Mode [08:30] Machine     Next, hug her from behind. [08:33] Machine     And eyes on the camera! [08:34] Kazuya     H... Hug?! [08:35] Machine     Three... two... SIGN    4/19 Date [08:44] Kazuya     Damn, I look gross. SIGN    Eyes wide open,     skin glowing [08:46] Kazuya     And Sumi-chan looks no different at all. [08:49] Kazuya     Her face is so slender! [08:50] Kazuya     This is the difference     in potential between us. [08:53] Kazuya     Damn it! I wanna show her     off as my girlfriend! SIGN    Though she's     a rental... [09:08] Kazuya     Mizuhara probably wouldn't     like a stuffed toy too much. SIGN    She's too     down-to-earth [09:14] Kazuya     I wish they taught you how     to pick presents in college. [09:19] Kazuya     What's up, Sumi-chan? You want the hat? [09:24] Kazuya     Oh, for me? [09:26] Kazuya     Well? Do I look good? SIGN    Clap Clap [09:29] Kazuya     R-Really? Yay. [09:33] Sumi     ...l. [09:36] Sumi     You look... cool. [09:40] Kazuya     For real?! [09:42] Kazuya     Whoa, it's just 500 yen! Guess I'll buy it! SIGN    So     cheap [09:49] Kazuya     Gimme the positive reinforcement! All of it! [09:51] Kazuya     I can feel it! SIGN    PUFF PUFF SIGN    Hehehe♥ [09:53] Kazuya     My dried-up sense of self-esteem SIGN    Hup Hup [09:57] Kazuya     is being brought back to life     by cute little Sumi-chan! [10:00] Kazuya     I say this without a doubt:     this feels so good! SIGN    Patch [10:02] Kazuya     Almost terrifyingly so! SIGN    PUFF PUFF [10:04] Kazuya     The walls of my common sense     are starting to creak! SIGN    Smile Smile SIGN    I'm falling into     my old ways again... [10:08] Kazuya     But... [10:10] Kazuya     She's totally acting like a     real girlfriend right now. [10:14] Kazuya     Slowly but surely, she's making progress. [10:19] Kazuya     I gotta move forward, too. [10:23] Kazuya     Man, that hour just flew by. [10:28] Kazuya     Y'know, there was something     I wanted to ask you today. [10:33] Kazuya     Oh, you don't have to get     all serious about it. [10:36] Kazuya     You know today's Mizuhara's birthday, right? [10:41] Kazuya     She's always helping me out,     so I wanna give her something. [10:45] Kazuya     But I'm not good at this kinda thing.     I don't know what a good gift would be. [10:50] Kazuya     You and she seem to talk often, [10:53] Kazuya     so I figured you might know what she'd want. SIGN    Gloom SIGN    Fluster [11:00] Kazuya     A-Ah, it's fine! It's fine if you don't! SIGN    Huh?     What now!? SIGN    Tap Tap [11:06] Kazuya     She's typing it out? SIGN    Show SIGN    Three Kingdoms.     Chizuru-chan loves     the Three Kingdoms. SIGN    BAM [11:10] Kazuya     The Three Kingdoms? [11:16] Kazuya     Not very "birthday present"-like, though. [11:19] Kazuya     It's a little clichéd. SIGN    Teary [11:24] Kazuya     I'm sorry! Thanks! [11:25] Kazuya     That was super helpful! [11:31] Kazuya     There's that thousand-yard stare again! [11:35] Kazuya     Oh, flowers? [11:37] Kazuya     Flowers, huh? [11:41] Kazuya     These are for you. Happy birthday. [11:44] Chizuru     Lame! [11:45] Chizuru     Have you tried looking in the mirror? [11:50] Kazuya     Yeah, that's a nope from me. [11:53] Kazuya     It's so not me. SIGN    You're overthinking it!     I'd be happy! [11:58] Kazuya     Sorry, I'm a real fool, aren't I? [12:01] Kazuya     Who do I think I am? [12:03] Kazuya     I know Mizuhara's a popular girl. [12:06] Kazuya     She won't think anything     of a gift I give her. [12:10] Kazuya     But... [12:12] Kazuya     Still, I can't bring myself to     just pick something at random. [12:21] Kazuya     Wh-Whoa! [12:25] Kazuya     What's gotten into Sumi-chan     all of a sudden?! SIGN    fuu fuu SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend [12:33] Kazuya     Th-This is... [12:35] Kazuya     a department store? [12:37] Kazuya     Department store to department store? SIGN    Abnormal Situation in Play [12:39] Kazuya     What? What's going on? SIGN    Glance [12:41] Kazuya     Should I say something? [12:43] Kazuya     Like, "Sumi-chan, all we've done     is move department stores." [12:46] Kazuya     "It hasn't changed anything!" SIGN    Probably not     these things [12:48] Kazuya     Or is there something we can only buy here? SIGN    Ah! [12:53] Kazuya     Huh? Where are we going? [12:55] Kazuya     Oh, the elevators? [13:02] Kazuya     Huh? The roof? SIGN    Not the stores? [13:06] Kazuya     Is there something up there? SIGN    Punch Punch SIGN    Impossible to decipher [13:10] Kazuya     Okay, I don't get it. SIGN    Kick Kick [13:14] Kazuya     Guess I should just shut up and follow her. SIGN    She seems     super serious [13:22] Kazuya     Huh? What are those voices? [13:27] Kazuya     Kids? SIGN    S Seats on Sale SIGN    Those Rent-a-Fighters, that ragtag     group of heroes has come to Nerima!! SIGN    Ragtag Heroes [13:28] Sign     Rent-a-Fighters [13:30] Kazuya     Oh, hey! [13:31] Sign     Ragtag Heroes Rent-a-Fighters SIGN    Hero Show [13:35] Kazuya     A hero show? This takes me back! [13:38] Rent-A-Red     Take this! Rent-a-Lock! [13:43] Kazuya     So? [13:44] Kazuya     What does this have to do with the present? SIGN    She looks super happy! [13:51] Kazuya     Wait, does she just like this stuff? SIGN    Not related to     my present thing? [13:53] Kazuya     Did she forget all about     helping with the present? [13:56] Sign     B     E     A     M [14:00] Kazuya     Oh, well. As long as she's having fun. [14:04] Kazuya     Huh... So this is how hero suits     are designed these days. [14:09] Kazuya     Man, how many years has it been     since I last saw one of these? [14:14] Kazuya     Hey, that Pink is pretty awesome. [14:17] Kazuya     She's got a great body, and she moves great. [14:21] Girl     Go, Rent-a-Pink! [14:21] Kazuya     Is it just me, or is she really standing out? [14:23] Rent-A-Red     You okay, Pink?! [14:24] Chizuru     Yes. [14:26] Chizuru     I won't let you take these kids! [14:29] Kazuya     Huh? [14:31] Kazuya     What?! [14:32] Chizuru     Give it up and get lost! [14:33] Kazuya     That voice... [14:34] Villain     Ugh... Curses! [14:41] Kazuya     I-I knew it. [14:44] Kazuya     It's Mizuhara! [14:49] Kid 1     Rent-a-Fighter! [14:50] Chizuru     Ugh, my powers are... [14:51] Kid 2     Pink! [14:53] Chizuru     As a Rent-a-Fighter, I must defend the Earth! [14:56] Kazuya     I get it. [14:58] Kazuya     Sumi-chan brought me here thinking I might     get some kind of hint from watching this. [15:04] Kazuya     Mizuhara... [15:05] Mc     Kids! Cheer them on with all you've got! [15:06] Kazuya     It's not just the rental girlfriend gig.     She's taking these jobs, too. [15:08] Kids     Hang in there! [15:10] Kids     Don't lose! [15:11] Kazuya     She barely has any time,     but she's still here doing this. [15:15] Kazuya     Just how hard on herself is she?! [15:19] (Flashback) Chizuru     So I at least want my grandma     to see me performing on screen. [15:24] (Flashback) Chizuru     That's my dream. [15:26] Kazuya     Hang in there, [15:29] Kazuya     Mizuhara! [15:44] Kazuya     It's time to go, huh? SIGN    Rental time was     until 6 PM [15:46] Kazuya     Thanks for showing me that. [15:48] Kazuya     I'll take it into account and try one     more time to think of a gift to give her. SIGN    Show SIGN    Presents are     all about the sentiment SIGN    Tap     Tap SIGN    Awkward intervals SIGN    If you put your heart into it,     I'd be happy with anything you gave me [16:10] Kazuya     Sumi-chan... [16:12] Kazuya     Yeah, you're right. [16:15] Kazuya     I feel a lot more confident now! [16:17] Kazuya     I'm glad I rented you today. [16:19] Kazuya     Thanks, Sumi-chan. [16:21] Kazuya     Take care on your way back! [16:23] Kazuya     I'll go look for a present! [16:32] (Flashback) Kazuya     So don't tell me you're gonna give up! [16:50] Kazuya     Okay, time to start searching in the     cosmetics department on the first floor... [17:00] Sumi     Wait. [17:03] Kazuya     Sumi-chan? [17:09] Kazuya     S-Sumi-chan... [17:16] Kazuya     Okay, I'm waiting! What's up? SIGN    Didn't think     this through [17:23] Kazuya     Uh... erm... [17:26] Kazuya     She's not saying a thing. [17:28] Kazuya     She stops me and gives     me the silent treatment? [17:31] Kazuya     But she's blushing up a storm.     She must be trying to say something. [17:34] Kazuya     D-Did you forget something? [17:38] Kazuya     Wait, was the payment short? [17:42] Kazuya     What is it, then? SIGN    Why this silence... [17:47] Sumi     I wanna know, too... [17:50] Sumi     Like, your birthday, Kazuya-kun. [17:53] Kazuya     Huh? My birthday? [17:56] Kazuya     It's June 1st, why? SIGN    An     inexplicable     gaze... SIGN    New event      Kazuya-kun's birthday     Event added to calendar [18:34] Kazuya     What got into Sumi-chan back there? SIGN    Got me all     worked up [18:39] Jk1     Huh? What's with the ring, Yuuko? [18:42] Jk2     B-day gift from my BF. SIGN    Sparkle SIGN    Sparkle SIGN    Sigh SIGN    Gloom [18:49] Kazuya     Man, what do I even get Mizuhara? SIGN    Pressing Issue SIGN    Neverending Issue [18:54] Kazuya     Something not too expensive, not too cheap, [18:56] Kazuya     not too casual, and not too serious? [19:00] Kazuya     Something Mizuhara would     like to receive from me? [19:03] Kazuya     The more I think about it,     the more I feel like it doesn't exist. [19:06] (Flashback) Sumi     If you put your heart into it,     I'd be happy with anything you gave me. [19:12] Kazuya     "Heart," huh? [19:21] Kazuya     Welp, I just gotta tough this out! [19:25] Kazuya     I love you, Mizuhara! [19:30] Chizuru     No, I'm fine.     Just felt a little chill, is all. [19:34] Chizuru     You didn't have to call me     to tell me happy birthday. [19:38] Chizuru     Should you really be up and about, Grandma? [19:41] Chizuru     Dinner? [19:43] Chizuru     I'm worn out today. No appetite. [19:46] Chizuru     What can I do about it? [19:49] Chizuru     Anyway, I need to take a     shower, so I'm hanging up. [19:51] Chizuru     Yeah, thanks. SIGN    Shi-chan SIGN    Happy birthday! SIGN    Shi-chan SIGN    Happy birthday! I wanna perform     with you again, Chi-chan! SIGN    Shake Shake SIGN    Thanks! Same here! SIGN    Happy Birthday [21:05] Kazuya     Because you're always helping me out,     and also in return for the phone case. [21:09] Chizuru     Sheesh. I told him it was a token of apology. [21:12] Kazuya     I know you're working really     hard to be an actress. [21:15] Kazuya     I hear these things alleviate     fatigue, so I hope they help. SIGN    Box within     the box [21:34] Chizuru     Pickled plum? Why? SIGN    P.S. Nothing happened     with Ruka-chan, I swear! [21:38] Kazuya     P.S. Nothing happened     with Ruka-chan, I swear! SIGN    A small part     of the letter,     but it has a     threatening aura [21:44] Chizuru     Sheesh, what an idiot. [22:08] Chizuru     So sour! [22:15] Chizuru     Guess I'll cook some rice. [23:47] Kazuya     Gah! SIGN    Wriggle Wriggle [23:49] Kazuya     Has Mizuhara looked at it yet? [23:51] Kazuya     Maybe pickled plums were the wrong choice! SIGN    Am I some kind of geezer? [23:52] Kazuya     But then, what was the right one?! [23:58] Chizuru     Time for Mizuhara Memo #2. [24:00] Chizuru     If you gift an accessory to someone     you're on complicated terms with, [24:02] Chizuru     it'll likely find itself on some auction     site before long, so be careful. [24:06] Kazuya     Then what even is a good gift? [24:07] Chizuru     It's always a good idea     to pick a safe option. [24:10] Kazuya     But that won't convey my feelings. [24:12] Kazuya     Mizuhara! [24:14] Kazuya     What I really wanted to give you as a present [24:16] Kazuya     was my lifelong buddy, my v— [24:18] Chizuru     Rent-a-Kick! [24:20] Chizuru     Anyway, next time on Rent-a-Girlfriend: [24:22] Chizuru     "Booze... [24:23] Kazuya     ...and Girlfriend." SIGN    "Booze and Girlfriend" [24:24] Chizuru     Alcohol is for adults only!