E22 - Ring and Girlfriend

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Nagomi
    You sure can hold your drink, Chizuru.
[00:04] Nagomi
    Have some more.
[00:06] Chizuru
    Thank you.
[00:38] Kazuya
    What are you doing,
[00:40] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan?
[01:13] Kazuya
    We can't!
[01:15] Kazuya
    Seriously... We can't!
[01:17] Nagomi
    Bathroom break for me.
[01:20] Chizuru
    But Kazuya-san's in there.
[01:22] Nagomi
    Oh, right. I forgot.
SIGN    Slide
[01:34] Ruka
    Sorry.
[01:35] Ruka
    I know I crossed a line there.
[01:38] Ruka
    But I don't want to lose.
[01:48] Ruka
    I have no regrets.
[01:53] Ruka
    That stuff about your first kiss tasting
    of lemons or strawberries was a lie, huh?
[01:58] Ruka
    Mine just tasted a bit like booze.
[02:06] Chizuru
    Oh, Ruka-chan. Where's Kazuya-san?
[02:09] Ruka
    He's using the bathroom.
SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend
SIGN    "Ring and Girlfriend"
[03:46] Chizuru
    Welcome back, Kazuya-san.
[03:48] Nagomi
    Took you long enough, Kazuya.
[03:52] Kazuya
    Y-Yeah?
[03:54] Chizuru
    Didn't you need the bathroom?
[03:56] Nagomi
    Oh, well, I don't need to anymore.
[04:12] Chizuru
    Are you two okay? You both look pale.
[04:20] Nagomi
    Yeah, where did all your energy go?
    Did something happen?
[04:25] Kazuya
    N-Nah, we're totally... good!
[04:29] Kazuya
    Nothing about this is good!
SIGN    An unmitigated disaster
[04:32] Kazuya
    What was that all about?
    A kiss? Holy crap!
[04:35] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan and me?
    Why'd we kiss? Why now?
[04:35] Nagomi
    You two are acting weird.
[04:39] (Flashback) Ruka
    But I don't want to lose.
[04:41] Kazuya
    I was putting her through
    more stress than I realized.
[04:45] Kazuya
    I mean, just thinking about it...
[04:46] Kazuya
    This whole fake relationship began because
    Mizuhara and I didn't want to be exposed.
[04:52] Kazuya
    There were signs this was coming.
[04:53] Kazuya
    How she forced her way into my place,
[04:56] Kazuya
    her little "parting gift,"
[04:57] Kazuya
    and the way she snapped at Mami-chan...
[05:00] Kazuya
    I backed her into a corner!
[05:01] Kazuya
    And now...
[05:03] (Flashback) Kazuya
    Huh? Kiss?
[05:06] (Flashback) Kazuya
    Where did that come from?
[05:08] (Flashback) Ruka
    Well, we've been dating for six months.
[05:10] (Flashback) Ruka
    A normal couple would've kissed
    by now, but I won't push my luck.
[05:15] (Flashback) Ruka
    It's just...
[05:16] (Flashback) Ruka
    I thought it would be such a happy moment
    to share my first kiss with someone I love.
[05:22] Kazuya
    It was your first, Ruka-chan?
[05:24] Kazuya
    Are you sure you wanted it to be with me?
    Hell no, that's obviously not right!
[05:28] Kazuya
    Wasting your first kiss on this
    pathetic excuse for a relationship...
[05:32] Kazuya
    I'm sorry.
[05:33] Kazuya
    I'm so sorry, Ruka-chan!
[05:35] Kazuya
    This is on me! It's all my fault!
[05:39] Nagomi
    Oh, I nearly forgot.
[05:43] Nagomi
    I have a gift for you, Chizuru-san.
SIGN    That box...!
[05:51] Nagomi
    It's the ring my husband
    gave me when he proposed.
[05:56] Kazuya
    The engagement ring?
SIGN    The implications..!!
[06:01] Nagomi
    It went to Harumi-san later,
[06:04] Nagomi
    but we were talking, and we wanted to give
    it to you to celebrate your 20th birthday.
[06:10] Nagomi
    Right, Harumi-san?
[06:12] Harumi
    Yes, please have it.
[06:17] Kazuya
    Yeah, no! On a scale of nope to nope, nope!
[06:19] Kazuya
    She can't accept that!
[06:22] Kazuya
    Who would give an engagement ring
    to a girlfriend who just turned 20?!
[06:27] Kazuya
    Who gives a family heirloom
    to a rental girlfriend?!
[06:27] Chizuru
    I hope it suits you!
SIGN    You're getting
    carried away, Gran.
SIGN    What kind of insane
    situation is this?
[06:33] Nagomi
    We have nothing else to offer you,
SIGN    It may be old,
    but it's quality.
[06:36] Nagomi
    and this bag of bones couldn't think of an
    appropriate gift for an angel like you...
[06:39] Chizuru
    Oh, no...
SIGN    Tee
    hee.
[06:42] Kazuya
    Wait!
[06:43] Chizuru
    I can't take something so important to you!
[06:46] Nagomi
    It's fine. We want you to have it.
[06:50] Chizuru
    B-But...
[06:52] Kazuya
    Mizuhara can't deal with this.
    And of course she can't!
[06:56] Kazuya
    She's probably never faced a
    situation like this before!
[07:00] Kazuya
    I gotta figure something out, and fast!
[07:07] Kazuya
    What's with the hand?
[07:08] Kazuya
    What does this mean? What are you
    trying to tell me, Ruka-chan?
[07:15] Kazuya
    Duh! This has gotta be hard
    for her to watch, too.
[07:21] Kazuya
    What do I do? What can I do?
[07:24] (Flashback) Chizuru
    I'm thinking of quitting
    the rental girlfriend job.
[07:28] (Flashback) Chizuru
    I figure it's about time to move on.
[07:38] Nagomi
    Would you please try it on?
[07:40] Chizuru
    I really can't...
[07:42] Kazuya
    We can't accept it.
[07:44] Nagomi
    Well, I do understand,
    but there's no need to overthink it.
[07:47] Kazuya
    It's not about that.
[07:51] Kazuya
    I can't have Chizuru accepting that ring!
[07:53] Kazuya
    This is it.
[07:55] Nagomi
    What do you mean, Kazuya?
[07:58] Kazuya
    There's no other way.
[08:01] Kazuya
    I'm sorry about this.
[08:03] Kazuya
    I know you love Chizuru.
[08:05] Kazuya
    I know you'll hate me for doing
    this during the birthday party.
[08:10] Kazuya
    Gran's gonna bawl her eyes out!
[08:14] Kazuya
    I don't wanna see it!
[08:15] Kazuya
    Or maybe she'll disown me?
[08:17] Kazuya
    Either way, it's gonna suck.
[08:19] Kazuya
    But there's no avoiding it anymore.
[08:23] Kazuya
    I know I'm going to put a damper on
    things, but this can't keep going.
[08:28] Kazuya
    Mizuhara and I going on dates
    is stressing Ruka-chan out.
[08:33] Kazuya
    I have to do this for her, too.
[08:37] Kazuya
    Besides, I need to end this...
[08:40] Kazuya
    sooner rather than later.
[08:43] Kazuya
    Then do it right here, and now, tonight!
[08:47] Kazuya
    I just can't let things stand.
[08:52] Kazuya
    Thanks for everything, Mizuhara.
[08:55] Kazuya
    Stay calm and hear me out.
[08:58] Kazuya
    Chizuru and I...
[08:59] Kazuya
    Forgive me, Ruka-chan!
[09:01] Kazuya
    I can't continue with this farce
    if it's gonna keep hurting people!
[09:06] Kazuya
    We... We broke...
[09:13] Chizuru
    S-Sorry!
SIGN    Third Hospital
SIGN    Itabashi, Tokyo
[09:19] Chizuru
    Excuse me for a moment.
[09:24] Chizuru
    Hello? This is Ichinose.
[09:27] Chizuru
    What? Really?!
[09:29] Chizuru
    I'll be right there!
[09:31] Chizuru
    Please handle things!
[09:46] Kazuya
    That was the moment everything began.
[09:52] Chizuru
    My grandma lost consciousness...
SIGN    Rent-a-Girlfriend
SIGN    We're BFFs.
SIGN    Itabashi Third Hospital
SIGN    Itabashi Third Hospital
[10:01] Nagomi
    I'll handle the fare. You two go on ahead.
[10:05] Chizuru
    But the money...
[10:08] Kazuya
    Let's go.
[10:13] (Flashback) Sayuri
    Please be there for Chizuru.
[10:22] Kazuya
    Granny Sayuri!
[10:27] Sayuri
    Oh, Kazuya-kun! And Chizuru, too.
SIGN    Sweat Sweat
SIGN    Chizuru-peeled
[10:34] Nagomi
    That's my Sayutaso!
[10:36] Nagomi
    You came back from a trip to the afterlife?
    I admire your will to live!
[10:40] Sayuri
    Indeed, I made an about turn
    when I got to the River Styx.
[10:46] Nagomi
    You gave the devil himself
    an attitude adjustment, huh?
[10:50] Kazuya
    Can these two be any more inappropriate?!
[10:52] Sayuri
    I'm so sorry I ruined your
    birthday party, though.
SIGN    My body can't
    take a hint.
[10:58] Nagomi
    Oh, please.
SIGN    I'm
    really
    sorry.
[11:00] Nagomi
    I should be the one apologizing for inviting
    Chizuru when you were under the weather.
[11:04] Nagomi
    I feel bad.
[11:06] Sayuri
    You have nothing to feel bad about.
[11:09] Sayuri
    Given how much Chizuru looked
    like she wanted to go,
[11:12] Sayuri
    I would've made her skip
    my own funeral for it.
[11:14] Kazuya
    Huh? Mizuhara did?
SIGN    ba-dump
[11:16] Chizuru
    C-Come on, Grandma! What are you saying?
[11:19] Nagomi
    Oh, is that so, Chizuru-san?
[11:19] Kazuya
    She wanted to come over to my place?
[11:21] Chizuru
    Well, yes...
SIGN    glance
SIGN    glare...
SIGN    Got carried away.
[11:27] Kazuya
    S-Sorry.
SIGN    Room 301
SIGN    Ichinose Sayuri
SIGN    nyuk nyuk
SIGN    hehe
SIGN    nod
[11:33] Kazuya
    We panicked for a while there,
SIGN    ahaha
SIGN    hyuk hyuk
SIGN    hehe
SIGN    nyuk nyuk
SIGN    nod
[11:35] Kazuya
    but I'm glad Granny Sayuri's all right.
SIGN    ahaha
SIGN    hyuk hyuk
SIGN    nyuk nyuk
SIGN    hehe
SIGN    nod
SIGN    ahaha
SIGN    hyuk hyuk
[11:40] Kazuya
    I guess Mizuhara must be relieved, too.
[11:42] Chizuru
    Grandma, you need to get some rest.
[11:45] Chizuru
    Come in.
[11:48] Doctor
    Ichinose-san, can we talk?
[11:50] Chizuru
    Sure. Please watch over them, Kazuya-san.
[11:54] Kazuya
    S-Sure.
[11:58] Kazuya
    That was so naturally couple-like.
SIGN    Smirk
[12:05] Sayuri
    Say, how is it going with Chizuru?
[12:08] Kazuya
    What do you mean, how?
[12:08] Nagomi
    They're too bashful to tell me.
[12:12] Sayuri
    Are you all lovey-dovey?
[12:13] Kazuya
    I-I guess?
[12:16] Nagomi
    We talked about them
    moving in together today.
[12:18] Sayuri
    What? Moving in?!
[12:20] Nagomi
    Wouldn't that be nice?
[12:21] Sayuri
    Be still, my beating heart!
[12:32] Kazuya
    I'm glad she was all right,
[12:36] Kazuya
    but I lost my chance to spill the beans.
[12:38] Kazuya
    There's the whole thing with Ruka-chan, too.
    I can't just let things be.
[12:44] Kazuya
    H-Hey, Mizuhara.
[12:47] Kazuya
    They sent me on an errand,
    those slave drivers.
[12:50] Kazuya
    What did the doctor say?
[12:56] Chizuru
    Bad news.
[12:59] Chizuru
    My grandmother's not doing too great.
[13:03] Chizuru
    The doctor said so.
[13:04] Nagomi
    Watch. This is my new favorite
    streamer. Seventy years old.
[13:06] Chizuru
    She seems perfectly fine,
[13:08] Sayuri
    Wow, that's pretty close to us.
[13:08] Chizuru
    but she doesn't have much time left.
[13:18] Kazuya
    Is it gonna be okay?
[13:20] Chizuru
    Like I just said, definitely not okay.
[13:22] Kazuya
    No, are you okay?
[13:28] Chizuru
    What, you're worried about me now?
[13:31] Chizuru
    Yes, I'm okay.
[13:32] Chizuru
    I knew this was coming
    ever since I heard her diagnosis,
[13:36] Chizuru
    so I did everything I could do for her.
[13:41] Chizuru
    Wait, where are you going?
[13:43] Kazuya
    Isn't that obvious?
[13:45] Kazuya
    I'm gonna tell your grandma that
    our relationship was a lie.
[13:49] Chizuru
    What? But...
[13:52] Kazuya
    I started it, and I'm gonna see it through.
[13:55] Kazuya
    I can't cause you any more trouble.
[13:58] Kazuya
    I won't talk about the rental thing,
[14:01] Kazuya
    but if we're running out of time,
    all the more reason to come clean.
[14:07] Kazuya
    This is all I can do to make things right.
[14:16] Chizuru
    Wait. Hold on.
[14:19] Chizuru
    I don't want her to know.
[14:22] Chizuru
    I don't want to tell Grandma
    that we're breaking up.
[14:26] Kazuya
    Mizuhara?
[14:30] Kazuya
    You don't want to tell her? But why?
[14:34] Chizuru
    Because she's taken a real liking to you.
[14:39] Chizuru
    And she's worried that I'll end
    up all alone after she's gone.
[14:48] Chizuru
    I know I'm contradicting myself after
    telling you to make things right.
[14:53] Chizuru
    But there's really no point now.
[14:57] Chizuru
    Telling a woman on her deathbed that her
    granddaughter just broke up with her boyfriend
[15:02] Chizuru
    isn't going to help in any way.
[15:07] Kazuya
    B-But...
[15:10] Kazuya
    We're not actually going out, are we?
[15:16] Chizuru
    No.
[15:17] Chizuru
    We're not.
[15:18] Kazuya
    Th-Then how is continuing to lie gonna help?
[15:27] Chizuru
    It's become more than just a lie.
[15:30] Chizuru
    I don't have it in me to
    make her sad at this point.
[15:33] Kazuya
    B-But...
[15:34] Chizuru
    Why do it?
[15:37] Chizuru
    As far as my grandma knows,
    I've found myself a wonderful guy.
[15:43] Chizuru
    Why break that spell?
[15:47] Chizuru
    I'm heading back.
[15:55] Kazuya
    What the hell am I supposed to do?
[15:59] Kazuya
    I get what Mizuhara's saying,
[16:01] Kazuya
    but is this really okay?
    Is it really the right thing to do?
[16:05] Kazuya
    I mean, it's not like I want to
    make Granny Sayuri sad, either.
SIGN    Droop
SIGN    Scratch
SIGN    My back's
    against the wall!!
[16:18] Nagomi
    This "I nearly had a heart attack!"
    caption is a running gag. I love it.
SIGN    yay yay
SIGN    nyuk nyuk
[16:23] Sayuri
    That looks like fun.
    Maybe I should try it out, too.
[16:36] Chizuru
    Okay, we're going to head out.
    Visiting hours are long over.
[16:40] Sayuri
    Sure. Do visit again, Nagomin.
[16:43] Nagomi
    You betcha.
[16:47] Kazuya
    I'll go hail a cab.
SIGN    Itabashi Third Hospital
[16:50] Nagomi
    Okay. Make sure it's a pretty one.
[16:52] Kazuya
    Those don't exist.
[16:53] Nagomi
    One like a pumpkin carriage, for my angel.
[17:01] Nagomi
    Chizuru-san.
[17:05] Nagomi
    About this ring...
[17:06] Chizuru
    Sorry, I can't accept it.
[17:08] Nagomi
    Sayuri-san's not going to make it, is she?
[17:12] Nagomi
    Such a strong woman.
[17:15] Nagomi
    She's acting all cheery,
[17:17] Nagomi
    but one look at her face
    tells the whole story.
[17:20] Nagomi
    I heard that you'd have no family
    left if worse comes to worse.
[17:26] Nagomi
    If you ever need money, pawn it off.
[17:29] Nagomi
    And no need to wear it if you don't want to.
[17:32] Nagomi
    I just want you to have it.
[17:36] Nagomi
    That's really it.
[17:46] Kazuya
    Hey, our ride's here!
[17:48] Nagomi
    Good. Why is hailing cabs the
    only thing you're so good at?
SIGN    Is it because
    you're big?
[17:57] Kazuya
    Mizuhara was putting on a brave face...
[17:59] Nagomi
    What's your address, Chizuru-san?
[18:01] Kazuya
    Oh, she'll be staying with me tonight.
SIGN    Our addresses
    are the same!
[18:03] Kazuya
    ...but she looked smaller to me that day.
[18:03] Nagomi
    Ah, yes, a great idea.
[18:07] Kazuya
    She was probably weighed down
    by pain, fear, sorrow,
[18:12] Kazuya
    and lots of other emotions.
[18:17] Kazuya
    B-Bye.
[18:19] Chizuru
    Yeah.
[18:21] Kazuya
    And yet here I am,
[18:23] Kazuya
    unable to do anything for her.
SIGN    Wow, look who
    decided to show up.
SIGN    You better have bought
    some good feed!
[18:31] (Flashback) Chizuru
    Isn't that good enough?
[18:34] Kazuya
    Damn it.
[18:45] Chizuru
    Ugh...
SIGN    G
    r
    a
    m
    m
    a
    b
    l
    e
SIGN    Rainbow (made of candy)
SIGN    Angel Wings
SIGN    Cream Clouds
SIGN    Super
    delish!!!
[20:27] Ruka
    This cream just melts in your mouth!
SIGN    om nom
SIGN    clatter
[20:30] Ruka
    The rainbow's great, too!
[20:34] Kazuya
    What is even going on here?
SIGN    fluff
[20:37] Kazuya
    This is no time to be eating fluffy pancakes.
SIGN    Nice and sweet...
SIGN    I went and dug in...
[20:40] Kazuya
    Is she not finding this awkward?
[20:43] Kazuya
    It's so unbearable for me
[20:45] Kazuya
    that I can't even look her in the eye.
SIGN    om nom
[20:50] Ruka
    Is she okay?
    Chizuru-san's grandmother, I mean.
[20:56] Kazuya
    Oh, yeah, her condition
    stabilized last night.
[21:00] Ruka
    Really?
[21:02] Kazuya
    Sorry we made you go home alone.
[21:03] Ruka
    Don't worry about it. It was an emergency.
[21:06] Kazuya
    There's no point in making her worry.
[21:10] Ruka
    And Chizuru-san?
[21:12] Ruka
    Was she having a hard time?
[21:15] Kazuya
    Yeah. She was trying not
    to show it, but I bet.
[21:20] Ruka
    Oh... I guess it would be hard on her.
[21:24] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan's such a nice girl.
[21:28] Kazuya
    Even now, she's worrying about Mizuhara.
    I'm not sure I'd be able to.
[21:38] Ruka
    I'm calling a truce with you and Chizuru-san.
[21:42] Ruka
    Sure, I do want to be your girlfriend for real,
[21:46] Ruka
    but even I know this isn't the
    time to go on the offensive.
[21:50] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan...
[21:51] Ruka
    It made me happy
[21:53] Ruka
    to see you try to draw a
    line in the sand with her.
[21:57] Ruka
    But now's a terrible time.
[21:59] Kazuya
    What? She figured it out?!
[22:01] Kazuya
    It was obvious, huh?
[22:04] Ruka
    Also, you have the wrong
    idea about something.
[22:07] Ruka
    I did say I don't want to lose,
[22:10] Ruka
    but I also said I had no regrets.
[22:13] Ruka
    It did get me down seeing
    how perfect Chizuru-san was,
[22:18] Ruka
    but it only made me realize once again
    how much I loved you... hence the kiss.
[22:25] Ruka
    I got to kiss the person I love and
    push our relationship one step forward,
[22:30] Ruka
    so I've made some real progress!
[22:34] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan...
[22:36] Staff
    Thank you!
[22:39] Ruka
    By the way, whenever you wanna
    do it, just let me know.
[22:45] Ruka
    Kissing is fair game now, right?
[22:51] Kazuya
    No, it's not! Not even close!
[22:54] Ruka
    What?
SIGN    Such a shy boy.
[22:56] Ruka
    Oh, right, here's your birthday present.
SIGN    gloom
[23:04] Kazuya
    What is even going on?
[23:07] Kazuya
    I finally made up my mind,
[23:09] Kazuya
    but now Mizuhara and
    Ruka-chan are against it?
[23:14] (Flashback) Ruka
    I'm calling a truce.
[23:17] Kazuya
    They're both so much more mature than me.
[23:19] Kazuya
    Gah! You've gotta be kidding me!
[23:23] Kazuya
    There's not a damn thing left for me to do!
SIGN    Woof!!
SIGN    Woof!!
SIGN    Woof!!
SIGN    Woof!!
SIGN    Ichinose
SIGN    I'm done...
[23:37] Kazuya
    It's all over.
[23:39] Kazuya
    What the hell am I supposed to do?!
SIGN    Somebody help me!!
SIGN    With all my heart and soul
SIGN    Kazuya-kun's Birthday
[23:54] Sumi
    Let's do this!
[23:57] Ruka
    I've turned over a new leaf.
[24:00] Ruka
    Let's call a truce for the
    time being, Chizuru-san.
[24:02] Ruka
    But promise me one thing.
[24:05] Ruka
    No kissing Kazuya-kun, okay?
[24:07] Chizuru
    Relax. I won't do anything.
[24:09] Kazuya
    Wha?!
[24:10] Chizuru
    Uh...?
[24:10] Kazuya
    Oh, nothing!
[24:11] Ruka
    Right. He's the one to keep an eye on!
[24:15] Ruka
    Call off the truce!
[24:16] Kazuya
    What happened to turning over a new leaf?!
[24:19] Chizuru
    Anyway, next time on Rent-a-Girlfriend:
[24:21] Kazuya
    "Guide and...
[24:22] Chizuru
    ...Girlfriend."
[24:23] Ruka
    If I need to, I'll chain him up...
SIGN    "Guide and Girlfriend"
[24:25] Kazuya
    Ruka-chan?!