# E5 - Hot Springs and Girlfriend
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GR0XNW1VY/hot-springs-and-girlfriend)
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:16] K**
*Mizuhara Chizuru is just a rental girlfriend.*
**[00:19] K**
*A fake one who won't last,*
**[00:22] K**
* and one you're not allowed*
* to really fall for.*
**[00:30] K**
*But... But I...*
**[00:33] K**
*Mizuhara!*
***SIGN*** Rent-a-Girlfriend
***SIGN*** Now
***SIGN*** You have a new message.
***SIGN*** Where are you?
***SIGN*** Mizuhara
***SIGN*** You're late
***SIGN*** I'm waiting for you ♥
***SIGN*** Mizuhara
***SIGN*** When
will
you
get
here
?
***SIGN*** Mizuhara
***SIGN*** When
will
you
get
here
?
***SIGN*** If you don't hurry up
***SIGN*** Mizuhara
***SIGN*** I'll charge you for an extension
***SIGN*** Numa
***SIGN*** Who does that girl think she is? A romcom heroine?
***SIGN*** Numa
***SIGN*** And that stupid virgin's pissing
me off, too!
***SIGN*** Numa
***SIGN*** Not like they'll last more
than three months, anyway
***SIGN*** It's not real
***SIGN*** Receipt
Kinoshita Kazuya-sama Rent-A-Girlfriend
Itemized Bill
Base Fee/hr 5000 yen x1
Choice Fee (Rookie) 5000 yen x1
Costs (City Limits) 2000 yen x1
Total: 12,000 yen + taxes
***SIGN*** "Hot Springs and Girlfriend"
**[02:20] C**
Where am I?
**[02:22] C**
Oh, right. I fell off the ferry...
**[02:34] (Flashback) K**
Mizuhara!
**[02:37] C**
He jumped in to save me?
**[02:41] C**
This keeps getting worse!
**[02:44] C**
Not only can I not take care of myself,
I even put my client in danger!
**[02:49] C**
Hey, are you okay?
**[02:51] C**
Huh?
**[02:53] C**
Hey, wake up!
**[02:55] C**
You're kidding, right?! Come on!
**[03:00] C**
Quit playing around! Wake up, come on!
**[03:04] C**
S-Someone help!
**[03:13] C**
What was it... Pump the chest thirty times?
**[03:18] C**
What are you playing at?!
**[03:21] C**
* I told you, how you deal*
* with me is up to you!*
**[03:24] C**
* Why put yourself at risk like this when*
* I'm not even your real girlfriend?*
**[03:28] C**
How stupid are you?!
**[03:31] C**
I keep telling you,
I'm just a rental girlfriend!
**[03:41] (Flashback) Y**
He's not a bad guy, honestly.
**[03:43] (Flashback) N**
How could I ever be angry with
the lady who did fall for you?
**[03:53] Radio**
*Two people, seemingly a college
couple, fell off the ferry!*
***SIGN*** Ferry Pier
**[03:56] Radio**
*The male was wearing an orange T-shirt!*
**[04:01] Imai**
Mami!
**[04:02] Imai**
It's Kazuya!
**[04:06] K**
*Crap... I'm fading.*
**[04:09] K**
*Did I die?*
**[04:12] K**
*I thought I could do it.*
**[04:14] K**
* I guess real life isn't as*
* easy as movies or manga.*
**[04:19] K**
*Sorry, Gran.*
**[04:21] K**
*I never got to introduce you to a nice girl.*
**[04:25] K**
* Sorry, Mizuhara. I couldn't*
* even clean up my own mess.*
**[04:29] K**
*Man, seriously...*
**[04:31] K**
*Talk about pathetic.*
**[05:02] K**
Mizuhara? Did you just...
**[05:04] C**
Sorry!
**[05:07] C**
I'm sorry you had to jump in to save me.
**[05:12] K**
Uh, n-no...
**[05:15] K**
Likewise.
**[05:18] G**
Found 'em! Over here!
**[05:20] G**
We've got them both. They're conscious.
***SIGN*** G
u
l
p
**[05:28] K**
*After that,*
***SIGN*** Nag
***SIGN*** Nag
***SIGN*** Nag
**[05:30] K**
* the Coast Guard guys gave*
* us a royal chewing-out.*
**[05:33] K**
*Then our friends snapped at us.*
**[05:35] K**
* Ultimately, I skipped*
* out on meeting Mami-chan*
**[05:39] K**
* and had to spend the night*
* in a nearby hospital.*
**[05:45] K**
M-Mizuhara!
**[05:48] K**
Hey, uh... Thanks!
**[05:51] K**
For, you know... doing all that to save me.
**[05:58] C**
Why wouldn't I? I'm your girlfriend.
***SIGN*** Girlfriend
Mode...
**[06:06] Y**
What's going on here?
**[06:07] Y**
You call off the breakup? She just
said "girlfriend," present tense.
**[06:10] K**
Nah, it's not that.
**[06:14] K**
* Mizuhara's a rental girlfriend,*
* and real mature.*
**[06:17] K**
*She wouldn't think anything of a mere kiss.*
**[06:22] Doc**
Nervous? Try to relax.
**[06:25] C**
I'm fine... I'm perfectly fine.
**[06:32] (Flashback) K**
Mizuhara!
**[06:58] Y**
Hey, there's the big hero.
**[06:59] S**
Oh, yeah! Give me an autograph!
**[07:00] Sign**
Disposable
Chopsticks
**[07:02] Imai**
Hilarious!
**[07:03] K**
Aren't you guys even a
little worried about me?
**[07:06] Y**
Wait, where's Chizuru-san?
**[07:07] K**
Huh? Oh, she said she was going back home.
**[07:11] ---**
That's too bad.
**[07:12] K**
Thanks for coming to pick me up.
**[07:18] K**
M-Mami-chan, about yesterday...
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
**[07:23] K**
Of course she hates me now.
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** Shock
***SIGN*** No Girlfriend
Ever...
**[07:27] K**
*Sorry, Gran! It's back to the drawing board!*
**[07:30] Y**
Quit standing around and get in, Kazuya!
**[07:33] K**
O-Okay.
**[07:35] Sasa**
Well, later.
**[07:36] S**
Don't drown in the bathtub.
**[07:38] K**
Come save me if I do.
**[07:40] Imai**
That's not funny!
**[07:42] Y**
See ya. Give my regards to Chizuru-san.
**[07:45] Y**
I won't tell Nagomi-san about
the stupid "blues" thing.
**[07:49] Y**
Just stay with her.
**[07:52] K**
What? No, we're still breaking up.
**[07:55] Y**
You're still going on about that?
**[07:59] K**
This is way more complicated than you think.
**[08:03] K**
Ow!
**[08:04] K**
Why'd you hit me again, jerk?!
**[08:06] Y**
Life ain't as easy as you think,
**[08:10] Y**
but it ain't as hard as
people make it out to be.
**[08:13] Y**
You put your life on the line for her.
**[08:16] Y**
If that's not love, then what the hell is?
**[08:20] Y**
Don't let her go. Your entire lifetime
supply of semen depends on it.
***SIGN*** What a
vulgar ass...
**[08:28] K**
*Not happening.*
**[08:30] K**
*Mizuhara feels nothing for me.*
**[08:36] K**
*Nothing at all...*
**[08:42] K**
Seriously, no! Not Mizuhara of all people!
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Wave
***SIGN*** Shiver
**[08:45] K**
Don't forget her cold stare when she
demands you fork over the money!
**[08:50] K**
Her face might be smiling,
but her eyes aren't!
***SIGN*** Her eyes
aren't smiling
***SIGN*** Hey,
uh...
***SIGN*** Do
you
mind?
**[08:57] C**
Could you go be gross somewhere else?
**[09:00] K**
M-Mizuhara!
**[09:02] C**
Move.
**[09:03] K**
S-Sure.
**[09:15] K**
I-I already made the booking for next week.
**[09:19] K**
No actual date.
**[09:20] K**
I'll put the money in your post box.
**[09:22] K**
So, uh... Once again...
**[09:26] K**
I'm sorry and stuff.
**[09:29] C**
I see. Thanks.
**[09:39] K**
*That was just CPR to keep her client alive.*
**[09:44] K**
*Part of her job.*
**[09:50] K**
* Only a fool would fall for*
* a girl like that for real.*
**[09:57] K**
Reminiscing already? We just got back.
***SIGN*** Gulp
**[10:06] K**
Yeesh. Can't you even lay
low for two days in a row?
**[10:23] M**
No, Kazu-kun.
**[10:29] K**
*Whoa... This is gonna be a big one.*
**[10:34] M**
Sheesh, stop it!
**[10:39] M**
No, don't!
**[10:43] (Flashback) C**
You must be Kazuya-kun, right?
***SIGN*** Shake
**[10:48] ---**
*Hell no!*
**[10:50] M**
You're such a bad boy, Kazu-kun.
**[10:54] K**
Mami-chan...
**[10:56] (Flashback) C**
Whenever you find yourself
feeling like a rabbit,
**[10:59] (Flashback) C**
feel free to call me.
**[11:02] K**
Mami-chan!
**[11:04] M**
Come on, Kazu-kun.
**[11:06] (Flashback) C**
You can rent me out for just
one hour every Wednesday.
**[11:11] M**
Hey!
**[11:13] (Flashback) C**
Don't badmouth my Kazuya-san.
**[11:17] K**
Mami-chan...
**[11:19] M**
You know you can't do that.
**[11:21] (Flashback) C**
If you want, I can give you both.
**[11:24] M**
Kazu-kun!
**[11:27] (Flashback) C**
I'm Mizuhara Chizuru,
Kazuya-san's girlfriend.
**[11:31] K**
Mami-chan!
**[11:32] (Flashback) C**
I guess you *can* be a man if you try.
**[11:38] C**
Kazuya-kun.
**[11:47] K**
* If I told her this was how it all began,*
* Mizuhara would be pissed.*
**[11:53] K**
* But that was definitely*
* the moment I realized...*
**[12:01] K**
N-No... I can't be...
**[12:04] K**
* ...that these feelings had passed*
* the point of no return.*
***SIGN*** Lab and Seminar Wing
***SIGN*** College Wing 2
***SIGN*** Auditorium | Cafeteria
**[12:14] G**
What'd you do over summer break?
**[12:16] G**
Gotta find a job.
**[12:18] Kawa**
Chizuru...
**[12:20] Kawa**
You do know that urban legend
about summer break, right?
**[12:24] C**
Again, I'm sorry. My tummy
started hurting really badly...
***SIGN*** Blush
**[12:30] Kawa**
Oh, we met at the beach.
**[12:31] C**
Okay, let's get going!
**[12:32] Shinbo**
Huh? What's gotten into you?
**[12:34] C**
Let's just go!
**[12:39] K**
What's going on?
**[12:41] K**
I've never reacted to her like that...
**[12:44] K**
*No, stop it!*
**[12:45] K**
*Mizuhara's just a rental girlfriend!*
**[12:47] K**
*That's it! Nothing more!*
**[12:52] K**
*Man, am I really...*
**[12:57] N**
Hey, keep your eyes on the road.
**[13:00] Kaz**
Yeah, yeah, I know.
**[13:02] K**
Why are we going into the mountains?
**[13:04] N**
Health tourism, my boy.
**[13:05] N**
I snagged a booking for a hot springs resort
known for helping your organs recover.
**[13:10] H**
I hear they serve pheasant for dinner.
It's Mt. Akagi's local specialty!
**[13:14] N**
Pheasant? That takes me back!
**[13:17] N**
Haven't had any since I got some
from a customer at the bar...
**[13:18] K**
*Well, can't complain if it's for health.*
**[13:22] Sign**
International Resort
**[13:22] Sign**
Nashigi-kan
**[13:22] N**
We're here! Nashigi-kan, Gunma's
hidden-away hot springs resort!
**[13:27] N**
We get welcome drinks for free!
**[13:31] N**
And we can get up to thirty ice creams
from the lobby machine at no extra charge!
**[13:34] K**
Thirty? I'd spend all day on the can!
**[13:37] N**
Is our friend not here yet?
**[13:39] K**
Huh? Friend?
**[13:40] N**
Oh, there she is. Sayutaso!
**[13:42] K**
"Sayutaso"?
**[13:44] Sa**
Oh, Nagomin!
**[13:46] K**
*What?!*
**[13:47] K**
*Mizuhara's grandma?!*
**[13:49] H**
Oh, Ichinose-san. Good to see you again.
**[13:52] Kaz**
Thank you for looking after
my mother in the hospital.
**[13:55] Sa**
No, I should be the one thanking her.
**[13:57] N**
Come on, say hello.
**[13:59] K**
Wh-Why's Ichinose-san here?
**[14:02] N**
She got all better and was discharged, too,
**[14:05] N**
so we decided to go on a
trip together to celebrate.
**[14:08] Sa**
Thank you so much for inviting me.
**[14:12] H**
What are you doing? You're acting strange.
**[14:15] K**
U-Uh, well,
**[14:16] K**
I'm just wondering if the person whose
name starts with "Chi" is here, too.
**[14:20] N**
"Chi"? None of our hospital
buddies had a name like that.
**[14:24] K**
O-Oh.
***SIGN*** Haseo-tei
**[14:30] N**
You're over there.
**[14:33] N**
I could only get one room
in the luxury Haseo-tei,
**[14:37] N**
so I got you one elsewhere.
**[14:40] K**
What?
**[14:41] N**
Do you want to force Ichinose-san
into a regular room?
**[14:45] Sa**
Sorry about this, Kazuya-kun.
**[14:47] N**
Here's your key.
**[14:49] N**
Let's sleep together, Sayutaso!
**[14:51] Sa**
Sure, Nagomin!
**[14:53] K**
Gotcha. Never mind me.
Just enjoy your discharge trip.
**[14:58] N**
Wow, I have such an understanding grandson.
**[15:05] N**
There he goes.
**[15:06] Sa**
There he goes, indeed.
**[15:17] K**
Why's it unlocked?
**[15:20] K**
Nobody's here.
**[15:23] K**
Huh? Did the previous guest leave those?
**[15:25] K**
Clean it up, staff!
**[15:27] K**
Well, I guess I can chill out more by myself.
**[15:31] K**
* I feel bad 'cause our grandmas*
* seem to be having fun,*
**[15:34] K**
* but I have to tell them during this trip*
* that we broke up. For Mizuhara's sake, too.*
**[15:42] C**
Hey, Grandma!
**[15:44] C**
Can you help me do my hair?
**[15:51] K**
Wha...
**[15:52] C**
Wh-What are you doing here?!
**[15:55] K**
M-Mizuhara?!
**[15:57] Sign**
Boing♥
**[16:03] K**
H-Hey, wait up!
**[16:07] K**
Where are you going, Mizuhara?
**[16:11] C**
How haven't you realized? We've been set up!
**[16:14] C**
The Grandma Axis is conspiring to get
the grandkids to form an alliance!
**[16:18] K**
"Conspiring"? That's a bit overblown.
**[16:20] C**
I don't mind them getting along,
**[16:23] C**
but they're meddling too much in our affairs.
**[16:25] C**
I'm giving them a piece of my mind!
**[16:27] K**
R-Right.
**[16:28] C**
Stop right there. Take the stairs.
**[16:32] K**
Huh?
**[16:35] K**
Oh, right, closed elevator and all.
***SIGN*** Haseo-tei
**[16:39] N**
Sorry about that, Chizuru-san.
**[16:41] Sa**
It's okay, Chizuru.
You have fun with Kazuya-kun.
**[16:45] C**
Don't give me that!
I was waiting for you in the room!
**[16:50] K**
Sh-She's right, Gran. This is too much.
**[16:53] N**
Look, we had them arrange for yukata
and personalized dinners for us.
**[16:57] N**
Changing rooms now would
inconvenience the hotel staff.
**[17:01] Sa**
What's the problem, Chizuru?
You two *are* dating.
**[17:05] C**
Sure, but sharing a room is too much.
**[17:09] C**
We haven't crossed that line yet.
**[17:12] K**
*"That" line?!*
**[17:14] K**
*Mizuhara?!*
**[17:15] N**
What? You haven't done it yet?
**[17:18] N**
We assumed you would have.
**[17:20] Sa**
You two are so reserved.
**[17:22] N**
Well, no time like the present.
**[17:24] Sa**
Go all in.
**[17:24] K**
Don't give me that!
**[17:24] C**
Don't give me that!
**[17:26] Sa**
Run along to your room now, you two.
**[17:30] ---**
W-Wait a second!
**[17:34] C**
What now?
**[17:38] K**
Telling them we broke up now
would just ruin the trip.
**[17:42] K**
We could ask for another room, I guess...
**[17:45] K**
But I'm broke.
**[17:47] C**
Don't go there. I'm low this month, too.
**[17:51] K**
*When you're that expensive?*
**[17:53] C**
Something to say?
**[17:55] K**
No...
**[17:56] K**
*When you're that expensive?*
**[17:58] C**
God, this sucks.
**[18:00] C**
Sharing a hotel room with
a client is a disaster.
**[18:05] K**
*All that aside...*
**[18:13] K**
*Yukata Mizuhara is out of this world!*
**[18:23] K**
* There's no way I'd last an entire*
* night with her in the same room.*
**[18:31] C**
Forget it. I'm just gonna enjoy this.
**[18:34] K**
Huh?
**[18:35] C**
My grandmom paid a small fortune for this.
**[18:38] C**
Can't let it go to waste!
**[18:40] K**
*Such resilience!*
**[18:42] C**
I'm hitting the bath.
**[18:44] K**
Wait...
**[18:46] C**
I know it's awkward,
but this can't keep going on.
**[18:50] C**
I'm gonna tell them we broke up.
**[18:52] C**
Got that?
**[18:57] Sign**
Yakushi Bath
**[19:00] N**
This gacha's rates suck!
**[19:06] N**
Chizuru?
**[19:08] N**
Am I living the lucky lecher trope now?!
**[19:14] K**
*Our relationship was a lie.*
**[19:17] K**
*It was all a lie I told.*
**[19:21] K**
My feelings don't factor into it.
**[19:25] N**
Ah, I see. So that trope only
counts when it's the opposite sex?
**[19:30] C**
Y-Yes.
**[19:31] N**
You learn something new every day.
**[19:33] C**
Um, Mrs. Kinoshita, I shouldn't
be making you do this.
**[19:37] N**
Don't sweat it.
**[19:38] N**
'Tis an honor to be washing my future
granddaughter-in-law's sultry back.
**[19:43] C**
Oh, please. What's sexy about a back?
**[19:46] N**
Says the girl with this spunky bottom
**[19:49] N**
and these bountiful breasts.
**[19:51] N**
You're truly a ray of hope that
shines upon us Kinoshitas.
**[19:55] N**
I'll take great care to wash you inside and out.
**[19:58] C**
Wait...
**[20:00] N**
After all, the father's
genes won't be worth squat.
**[20:03] N**
I apologize for my grandson.
**[20:05] C**
Uh, you don't have to.
**[20:08] N**
This is also a remembrance trip, you see.
**[20:12] N**
Today's the date my husband passed.
**[20:16] C**
What? Then...
**[20:18] N**
Oh, don't worry about me. I'm over it now.
**[20:24] N**
That said, it was always a day
that made me feel a little lonely,
**[20:28] N**
but I got out of the hospital,
made a new friend,
**[20:32] N**
and even got to take a bath with you.
**[20:36] N**
It has become a special day for me now.
**[20:41] C**
Can I ask you something?
What would you do if I were lying?
**[20:50] C**
What if I weren't the kind
of person you think I am?
**[21:00] N**
Nobody goes through life without lying.
**[21:04] N**
I'd love you even if you were an alien.
**[21:16] C**
I've given up on trying
to figure out this mess!
**[21:19] C**
Gotta get our money's worth!
**[21:21] C**
Here, cheers.
**[21:24] K**
Ch-Cheers.
**[21:28] C**
So yummy!
**[21:33] C**
Uh, isn't that the sauce?
**[21:35] K**
I thought it was soup!
**[21:37] K**
I drank quite a bit...
**[21:42] C**
You're such a dolt!
**[21:51] K**
* I've never seen her laugh*
* like a normal girl before.*
**[21:55] K**
*I guess I really am a bother to her.*
**[22:00] K**
Well, night.
**[22:02] K**
I can sleep in the bathroom or by the door.
**[22:06] K**
I know you won't have pleasant
dreams with me around.
**[22:11] C**
What's the big deal?
**[22:14] C**
Why can't you just sleep here?
***SIGN*** Wha?!
***SIGN*** W
e
l
c
o
m
e
♥
***SIGN*** You're so
childish
***SIGN*** Puts men
to shame
***SIGN*** Already a chief
at her young age
***SIGN*** Sensei!
***SIGN*** I need your help
with homework!
**[23:57] C**
Mrs. Kinoshita, there's
something we must tell you.
**[24:00] N**
I know.
**[24:02] K**
What? You knew?
**[24:03] N**
It was obvious.
**[24:04] C**
That makes it easier, then.
**[24:06] K**
Yeah. Gran, we actually...
**[24:10] N**
You're finally doing the deed, right?
**[24:12] C**
Huh? Doing what?
**[24:14] N**
Having sex! S-E-X!
**[24:17] N**
Ah, how wonderful!
This is the best day of my life!
**[24:20] N**
Now, on the next episode
of *Rent-a-Girlfriend*:
**[24:22] K**
"Girlfriend...
**[24:23] C**
...and Girlfriend."
***SIGN*** "Girlfriend and Girlfriend"
**[24:24] N**
Bring out the champagne!