7 - The Charpy Impact Test

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SIGN    This is a work of fiction. Underage drinking is strongly prohibited and illegal. We also do not encourage the forceful or excessive consumption of alcohol, nor do we endorse the litany of depraved and shameful acts portrayed in the binge-drinking scenes. We ask that you view this as a comedy anime and nothing more. Furthermore, all characters drinking in this work are of legal age.
SIGN    Grand Blue Dreaming Season 2
[01:37] USHIRONOMIYA
    All right.
[01:39] USHIRONOMIYA
    This is a lecture by Ushironomiya,
    the top candidate for promotion to professor.
[01:43] USHIRONOMIYA
    You'd better take in every single word!
[01:47] USHIRONOMIYA
    Today, we'll be running the Charpy impact test!
[01:51] ALL
    'Kay.
[01:52] USHIRONOMIYA
    By measuring the difference
    in potential energy,
SIGN    Experiment
SIGN    Specimen
SIGN    Hammer
[01:55] USHIRONOMIYA
    we can calculate the kinetic energy
    needed to destroy the specimen.
SIGN    Dial
[01:59] IORI
    Talk about a simple experiment.
[02:02] HAJIME
    Simple equations, too.
[02:04] SHINICHIRO
    This report's gonna be a piece of cake.
[02:06] KOHEI
    Totally.
[02:07] USHIRONOMIYA
    You guys seem rather confident.
[02:10] IORI
    What do you expect?
[02:11] HAJIME
    This is high school physics.
[02:13] SHINICHIRO
    Too easy for us, right?
[02:16] KOHEI
    It'd be harder to screw up.
[02:18] USHIRONOMIYA
    Oho?
[02:20] USHIRONOMIYA
    So you're saying you'd never
    mess up an experiment like this?
[02:23] ALL
    Of course!
[02:24] USHIRONOMIYA
    I see, I see.
[02:26] USHIRONOMIYA
    Then use this.
[02:28] IORI
    A cushion?
[02:30] SHINICHIRO
    What's this for?
[02:31] KOHEI
    Do you want us to do the experiment seated?
[02:34] USHIRONOMIYA
    Not quite!
[02:38] USHIRONOMIYA
    If you're so smart,
[02:39] USHIRONOMIYA
    you can calculate the height where
    the hammer won't destroy your crotch, right?
[02:43] ALL
    Of all the horrifying ideas!
[02:45] IORI
    This is basically bullying!
[02:47] HAJIME
    Have you no humanity?!
[02:50] USHIRONOMIYA
    What's the problem?
[02:52] USHIRONOMIYA
    None of you will ever have
    the chance to use it, anyway.
[02:55] ALL
    You wanna go, asshole?!
[02:57] USHIRONOMIYA
    We'll conduct four trials.
[02:59] USHIRONOMIYA
    If you fail to destroy the sample
    even once, you won't get credit!
[03:05] IORI
    That rat bastard!
[03:06] KOHEI
    Four whole times?!
[03:08] HAJIME
    I hope Yamamoto's Yamamoto holds out.
[03:11] SHINICHIRO
    We're all doing this, right?
    We all get a turn, right?!
[03:14] KOHEI
    What do we do, though?
[03:16] SHINICHIRO
    We can't afford to mess up even once!
[03:18] HAJIME
    We can't risk any half-assed heights.
[03:21] IORI
    Which means...
[03:22] ALL
    The first trial means certain death!
[03:25] HAJIME
    Let's start with Yamamoto
    since he's already set up.
[03:27] SHINICHIRO
    Wait, timeout!
[03:28] SHINICHIRO
    Start with Imamura!
    He has no interest in real women!
[03:31] HAJIME
    Good point.
[03:32] KOHEI
    No, it's not!
[03:34] KOHEI
    Listen, my crotch is very important.
[03:36] KOHEI
    I need it for the middle-school girls
    who adore me as their Onii-chan.
[03:40] IORI
    Yeah, let's start with him.
[03:41] SHINICHIRO
    We should destroy it before he commits a crime.
[03:44] KOHEI
    Knock it off!
[03:45] SHINICHIRO
    In your dreams!
[03:47] HAJIME
    You ticking crime bomb!
[03:48] IORI
    Give up and give it up!
[03:50] KOHEI
    Why, you...
[03:52] KOHEI
    Kitahara has to go first, you guys!
[03:56] KOHEI
    He'll eventually make a move on Kote—
[04:00] IORI
    Okay, we got Kohei's consent.
    Let's get on with it.
[04:04] SHINICHIRO
    R-Right...
[04:05] HAJIME
    What a ruthless bastard.
[04:11] KOHEI
    You scumbags!
[04:12] HAJIME
    Tch.
[04:13] SHINICHIRO
    He woke up.
[04:14] IORI
    Hurry with the setup!
[04:16] KOHEI
    Listen to me! I... I...
[04:21] HAJIME
    All systems green!
[04:23] SHINICHIRO
    Ready to record!
[04:26] IORI
    All right! Start the experiment!
[04:28] KOHEI
    Stop this now!
[04:33] IORI
    Men, salute our fallen hero!
[04:45] IORI
    150 degrees was too high, huh?
[04:47] HAJIME
    We can probably lower it a bit next time.
[04:50] SHINICHIRO
    Glad we got some good data.
[04:52] IORI
    Okay, next is...
[04:54] KOHEI
    Let me choose the next person to go.
[05:00] IORI
    Huh?
[05:01] HAJIMESHINICHIRO
    Go for it.
[05:02] IORI
    Hell no! Let's decide with RPS!
[05:05] SHINICHIRO
    Quiet, you shithead!
[05:07] HAJIME
    Our hero chose you, you shithead!
[05:10] IORI
    You pieces of trash!
[05:11] IORI
    Kohei! We're BFFs, remember?
[05:15] KOHEI
    Kitahara, don't tell anyone this,
[05:17] KOHEI
    but I have a past report for this experiment.
[05:21] [SONG] SIGN
    Material Mechanics
    Charpy Impact Test Report
[05:22] KOHEI
    And these are the calculations.
[05:24] IORI
    Whoa!
[05:25] KOHEI
    If you follow it...
[05:27] IORI
    ...I'll be fine, right?
[05:31] HAJIME
    According to this report...
[05:33] SHINICHIRO
    The angle should be 138 degrees.
[05:36] IORI
    That's pretty high.
[05:37] SHINICHIRO
    Okay, let's start.
[05:39] IORI
    Sure.
[05:39] KOHEI
    By the way, Kitahara.
[05:41] KOHEI
    Here's the evaluation for this report.
[05:42] [SONG] SIGN
    Completely wrong! Re-submit!
[05:49] KOHEI
    Did I ever say that it was an accurate report?
[05:53] HAJIME
    True, you didn't.
[05:54] SHINICHIRO
    So you technically didn't lie.
[05:56] KOHEI
    Who's the next victim?
[05:59] SHINICHIRO
    You go first.
[06:00] HAJIME
    No, after you.
[06:01] IORI
    You jerks...
[06:03] HAJIME
    You say something, dead man walking?
[06:05] SHINICHIRO
    Got any last words?
[06:06] IORI
    Lemme see that report.
[06:08] KOHEI
    Fine.
[06:11] IORI
    I knew it.
[06:13] SHINICHIRO
    What's up?
[06:14] IORI
    Well, looking at this report,
[06:16] IORI
    it seems like the equations were correct.
[06:18] IORI
    They just made a calculation error here.
[06:21] KOHEI
    Show us.
[06:22] SHINICHIRO
    You're right. So if we just recalculate it...
[06:25] HAJIME
    We'll have nothing to worry about.
[06:27] IORI
    Hang on a sec. I'll run the numbers now.
[06:30] IORI
    Nojima's next, by the way.
[06:32] HAJIME
    Why me?!
[06:33] SHINICHIRO
    Our fallen hero has chosen you.
[06:36] KOHEI
    Accept the honor.
[06:38] IORI
    Besides, it'd be better to have longer legs...
[06:43] IORI
    Hold up.
[06:44] KOHEI
    Could Yamamoto's legs actually be long—
[06:47] HAJIME
    All right! My turn!
[06:49] IORI
    All done. It's 134 degrees.
[06:51] SHINICHIRO
    Okay, let's set it up.
[06:53] HAJIME
    I don't know if I trust your calculations.
[06:55] KOHEI
    Relax. I got the same result.
[06:58] IORI
    While you may not trust the two of us...
[07:00] KOHEI
    ...you can trust matching results, right?
[07:03] HAJIME
    I guess so.
[07:05] SHINICHIRO
    Setting hammer to 134 degrees.
[07:07] HAJIME
    O-Okay.
[07:08] IORI
    Chill out, man.
[07:10] KOHEI
    Our calculations were perfect.
[07:16] SHINICHIRO
    They're lying through their teeth!
[07:20] IORI
    That leaves you.
[07:22] KOHEI
    Wanna try like 133 degrees?
[07:24] SHINICHIRO
    Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[07:25] SHINICHIRO
    We already know 101 degrees is the answer!
[07:27] SHINICHIRO
    Why set it higher?!
[07:29] IORI
    Well, that answer...
[07:31] KOHEI
    It's missing the coefficient of H.
[07:33] SHINICHIRO
    Coefficient of H?
[07:35] IORIKOHEI
    That's right.
[07:38] IORIKOHEI
    The coefficient of Hatred!
[07:45] IORI
    Professor!
[07:46] IORI
    We were wrong, Professor!
[07:48] HAJIME
    We're sorry for taking the experiment lightly!
[07:51] KOHEI
    Please teach us material mechanics!
[07:54] USHIRONOMIYA
    Ah, have you finally come to realize
    your own ignorance?
[07:59] ALL
    Yes, sir!
[07:59] KOHEI
    So please, Professor!
[08:01] IORI
    Please guide us ignorant fools!
[08:03] HAJIME
    We beg you!
[08:05] USHIRONOMIYA
    I see! Very well!
[08:08] USHIRONOMIYA
    I'll grant you the privilege
    of being taught by yours truly!
[08:13] IORI
    Show us how it's done!
[08:15] HAJIME
    Spread your legs, please.
[08:16] KOHEI
    You'll die unless you clench your abdomen.
[08:19] USHIRONOMIYA
    Heh, you brats really are fools.
[08:22] USHIRONOMIYA
    As if I would make a calculation error.
[08:25] USHIRONOMIYA
    Set alpha to 101 degrees!
[08:28] IORI
    Yes, sir!
[08:29] KOHEI
    Understood, Professor!
[08:31] HAJIME
    Here we go, Professor!
[08:33] USHIRONOMIYA
    Yes, anytime!
[08:35] USHIRONOMIYA
    The hammer will stop 1mm before my groin.
    Behold the accuracy of my calculations!
SIGN    Weight (300g)
[08:52] USHIRONOMIYA
    In other words...
[08:53] USHIRONOMIYA
    the potential energy of the weight added
    simply adds directly to the total energy...
[09:00] USHIRONOMIYA
    meaning the 300g weight from a height...
[09:07] HAJIME
    I see.
[09:08] SHINICHIRO
    Hands-on learning.
[09:10] KOHEI
    Truly a riveting experiment.
[09:12] IORI
    I'll remember this equation for life.
[09:15] CHISA
    This school is full of idiots.
[09:17] SIGN
    "The Charpy impact test has a high margin of error, so only try it after undergoing special training."
[09:25] [SONG] SIGN
    Peek-a-Boo Summer Camp Guide
     Spend the night in an abandoned elementary school!
[09:25] AINA
    Okay, guess what this song is from.
[09:28] ALL
    Hmm...
[09:30] IORI
    A booze commercial!
[09:31] AINA
    Bzzt.
[09:32] CHISA
    What is it, then?
[09:33] KOHEI
    Just what anime is it from?!
[09:36] AINA
    It's not an anime song.
[09:37] IORI
    Hint, please!
[09:38] KOHEI
    Give us a hint!
[09:39] AINA
    Aw, fine.
[09:41] AINA
    TV show I like.
[09:43] ALL
    It's the theme to a dating reality show.
[09:46] AINA
    How did you know?!
[09:47] KOHEI
    O-Okay, I'll pick next.
[09:49] ALL
    Anime song!
[09:50] KOHEI
    At least wait until you listen to it!
[09:52] IORI
    Let's go with Chisa next.
[09:54] CHISA
    Huh?
[09:55] CHISA
    I, uh...
[09:57] AINA
    What do you usually listen to?
[09:59] KOHEI
    I'm curious too.
[10:01] CHISA
    Just normal J-Pop. It'd be too boring.
[10:04] IORI
    We'll be the judges of that.
[10:07] AINA
    Yep, yep.
[10:15] KOHEI
    Ocean SFX?
[10:17] AINA
    Seriously?!
[10:18] IORI
    What part of this is normal J-Pop?
[10:20] IORI
    What else? Flowing River... Underwater SFX...
[10:24] KOHEI
    Anything water works, huh?
[10:26] AINA
    None of this is even music.
[10:29] IORI
    Chisa really does have a screw or two loose.
[10:32] CHISA
    Do you want to hear a song
    with lyrics so badly?
[10:35] IORI
    If you even have any.
[10:36] CHISA
    Yeah? Here you go, then.
[10:41] KOHEI
    Oh?
[10:41] AINA
    Sounds normal.
[10:43] KOHEI
    It's really basic, though.
[10:46] AINA
    I've never heard anything like it.
[10:48] KOHEI
    What's it from, Kotegawa?
[10:51] IORI
    Stop the music, Chisa!
[10:53] IORI
    Or else... I'll grope the shit outta you!
[10:56] AINA
    Wait, what?!
[10:58] KOHEI
    Does Kitahara know what it is?
[10:59] CHISA
    You see, this song...
[11:01] IORIFATHER
    Ten, twenty years from now,
[11:06] CHISA
    ...is one Iori wrote in middle school.
[11:07] IORIFATHER
    for the me who I've yet to meet
[11:11] AINA
    Grab him, Kohei.
[11:12] IORIFATHER
    These sleepless nights are midnight
[11:12] KOHEI
    Way ahead of you.
[11:14] IORI
    Let me go! Or kill me!
[11:16] AINA
    But how'd you get this?
[11:18] CHISA
    I wrote to Shiori-chan a while ago.
[11:18] IORIFATHER
    I'll search for tomorrow
[11:22] CHISA
    I said Iori doesn't plan on
    going home for summer break,
[11:23] IORIFATHER
    For the sake of my future self
[11:25] CHISA
    and she sent me this.
[11:27] AINA
    I see.
[11:28] IORI
    Shiori!
[11:29] IORIFATHER
    Ten, twenty years from now,
[11:32] IORIFATHER
    for the me who I've yet to meet
[11:40] IORI
    The others are already here?
[11:42] CHISA
    They got here early.
[11:43] IORI
    Can't believe we're using an abandoned
    school for our summer camp, though.
SIGN    Experience the Extraordinary
    Stay at a School!!
[11:48] KOHEI
    I found a fine place, if I do say so myself.
[11:52] IORI
    What were you looking up
    when you found this, though?
[11:56] ALL
    Huh?
[11:58] AINA
    We can have a campfire
    on school grounds. Isn't that awesome?
[12:01] CHISA
    We'll get to sleep on beds in classrooms, too.
[12:04] IORI
    We can even go all-out on the fireworks.
[12:07] AINA
    I get another chance to fill my
    life album with lovely memories!
[12:14] SHINJI
    Test of Courage! Come to the roof!
SIGN    Test of Courage
SIGN    Come to the roof
    Peek-a-Boo Seniors
[12:18] AINA
    My album!
[12:20] IORI
    Give up on it already.
[12:22] AINA
    I'll just wait here until you're done!
[12:25] IORI
    Don't be so scared.
[12:27] KOHEI
    It'll just be some light fun and games.
[12:30] SHINJI
    "P.S. None of us are drinking
    until this is over."
[12:35] IORI
    This is bad news.
SIGN    Girls' Course
[12:40] IORI
    You're going that way, huh?
[12:44] KOHEI
    That means...
[12:46] KOHEI
    We're going this way?
SIGN    Dummies' Course
[12:50] IORI
    Huh? That's not for me, either.
[12:52] KOHEI
    If anything, it's exclusively for your use.
[12:55] CHISA
    Just go that way together.
[13:05] AINA
    W-Way to set the mood.
[13:08] CHISA
    This is the real deal.
[13:13] CHISA
    A French doll?
[13:14] AINA
    Th-That startled me...
[13:20] IORI
    I kinda assumed you'd be scared of this stuff.
[13:23] KOHEI
    If you ask me, new people are far scarier.
[13:26] IORI
    Right, I forgot that about you.
[13:31] KOHEI
    Gah! Stop it!
[13:35] AINA
    Was that...
[13:36] CHISA
    ...Imamura-kun?
[13:38] CHISA
    He must've seen something really scary.
[13:42] KOHEI
    You'll hurt her neck if you hang her like that!
[13:46] IORI
    Let's just move on, man.
[13:53] AINA
    A Japanese doll?
[13:54] CHISA
    Careful, Aina.
[13:56] CHISA
    They tend to distract you with these
    things before attacking from elsewhere.
[14:02] AINA
    I felt something cold and slimy!
[14:06] CHISA
    It's just konjac jelly.
[14:09] KOHEI
    Figures are very delicate objects!
[14:12] KOHEI
    You must handle them with care!
[14:13] IORI
    Okay, okay.
[14:16] IORI
    A Japanese doll, huh?
[14:17] KOHEI
    Careful, Kitahara.
[14:19] IORI
    Yeah, I know. Bet it's coming
    right about now...
[14:22] IORI
    Knew it.
[14:23] KOHEI
    This isn't enough to scare us.
[14:27] [SONG] SIGN
    Used and Abused
[14:30] IORIKOHEI
    Eek!
[14:32] AINA
    I guess they're not too hot with horror either.
[14:34] CHISA
    You really think so?
[14:40] AINA
    Huh?
[14:42] CHISA
    What's up?
[14:43] AINA
    I just saw a pale silhouette...
[14:46] CHISA
    Huh?
[14:56] AINA
    Th-That's you, right, A-Azusa-san?
[15:05] CHISA
    A...
[15:06] CHISA
    Aina?!
[15:09] IORI
    Oh?
[15:13] KOHEI
    What was that?
[15:14] IORI
    A girl ghost?
[15:16] KOHEI
    If that's the real deal, no problem.
[15:19] KOHEI
    But if it's a fake, then who's playing it?
[15:31] KOHEI
    All yours!
[15:32] IORI
    Oh, hell nah!
[15:36] KOHEI
    Stay away!
[15:38] IORI
    I'll even take a ghost, as long as it's a girl!
[15:45] IORIKOHEI
    Eek!
[15:50] ALL
    Cheers!
[15:54] AZUSA
    Well? Were you scared?
[15:56] AINA
    Very scared.
[15:57] KOHEI
    That was gory and traumatic.
[16:00] IORI
    It needs to be outlawed.
[16:04] RYUJIRO
    Glad you enjoyed it.
[16:11] AINA
    I-Io... Iorin!
[16:13] IORI
    Who're you calling Iorin?
[16:14] AINA
    I see a pale blue flame!
[16:16] IORI
    Oh.
[16:17] KOHEI
    Nice.
[16:17] AINA
    Why are you okay with it?!
[16:20] IORI
    Relax, will you?
[16:23] IORIKOHEI
    See?
[16:25] AINA
    Yeah...
[16:26] SILHOUETTES
    Oh, this is Spirytus.
[16:28] SILHOUETTES
    That means this one's the non-flammable water.
[16:31] SHINJI
    Hey, Iori, Kohei!
[16:33] RYUJIRO
    Help us light up the campfire!
[16:36] IORIKOHEI
    Coming.
[16:40] AINA
    A campfire, huh?
[16:42] CHISA
    Sure brings back memories.
[16:43] AINA
    Yeah, from elementary school camp.
[16:47] CHISA
    Oh, it's lit.
[16:55] CHISA
    Such a nice mood.
[16:57] AINA
    Like a scene out of a coming-of-age story.
[16:59] AINA
    Now, a boy offers his hand...
[17:02] IORI (imaginary)
    Let's dance.
[17:03] AINA
    ...and invites you to the folk dance.
[17:05] IORI
    Hey.
[17:06] AINA
    Huh?
[17:06] AINA
    What?
[17:07] IORI
    Not often we get the chance. Let's dance.
[17:24] SHINJI
    Limbo!
[17:26] AINA
    Look, I knew that I couldn't
    expect much from this club.
[17:30] IORI
    Expect what?
[17:31] KOHEI
    What are you even talking about?
[17:51] IORI
    Whew.
[17:52] CHISA
    They just keep going.
[17:54] IORI
    Right? Want a drink?
[17:57] CHISA
    Yeah, thanks.
[18:21] CHISA
    I-I just slipped on something, okay?
[18:24] IORI
    Was something there?
[18:29] CHISA
    I let this thing take my...
[18:31] IORI
    You okay, Chisa?
[18:33] IORI
    Forget what happened. It was an accident.
[18:41] IORI
    Do you have to wash your mouth out?!
[18:45] IORI
    Hey, Chisa. I get you wanna wash
    your mouth, but don't use that.
[18:50] CHISA
    I'm totally fine.
[18:51] IORI
    Yeah? If you say so.
[18:54] CHISA
    I mean, I can hold my drink. And I
    wouldn't get drunk on this disinfectant.
[19:00] CHISA
    Besides, I stay in control even
    when drunk, so it's no problem at all!
[19:04] CHISA
    No problem at all!
[19:06] IORI
    Chisa...
[19:07] CHISA
    What?
[19:08] IORI
    Can you turn around for me?
[19:19] CHISA
    I can't stand.
[19:22] IORI
    I warned you.
[19:24] IORI
    Hey, guys. Chisa's down and out,
    so I'll carry her to the room.
[19:27] ALL
    'Kay!
[19:36] CHISA
    Don't you get it, Iori?
[19:38] CHISA
    People who don't dive regularly tend
    to have battery troubles when it counts,
[19:43] CHISA
    so getting solar-powered
    dive computers is the smart choice.
[19:45] IORI
    Gah, okay, okay.
[19:48] CHISA
    Are you listening?
[19:49] IORI
    I'm wissening.
[19:51] CHISA
    Not only do your fins point downwards
    when rising from the seabed,
[19:55] CHISA
    you also don't show enough care,
    so you kick up sand everywhere.
[19:59] IORI
    Sheesh, I'm taking care of you right now.
    Show a little gratitude.
[20:03] CHISA
    Nope. Never.
[20:05] IORI
    But why?
[20:06] CHISA
    Because you owe me!
[20:10] IORI
    No-I-do-not.
[20:11] CHISA
    You do! You owe me two!
[20:14] IORI
    How do you want me to repay you?
[20:16] CHISA
    You don't even know that much?
[20:18] IORI
    How am I supposed to know?
[20:20] CHISA
    This is why you suck, Iori.
[20:22] IORI
    Yeah, yeah.
[20:24] CHISA
    Listen, here's what you're gonna do.
[20:26] CHISA
    You'll get a job and save up money.
[20:29] IORI
    Wha?
[20:30] IORI
    Wait, you want me to pay you back with money?
[20:32] CHISA
    No, you fool! You moron!
[20:34] IORI
    Ow, ow.
[20:38] CHISA
    If we all go diving sometime...
[20:41] IORI
    Hm?
[20:42] CHISA
    You're an idiot, Iori...
[20:45] IORI
    Hey.
[20:46] CHISA
    So you'll be broke and won't get to join us.
[20:51] CHISA
    And you'll be left behind
    and be all sad, like last time.
[20:57] IORI
    Chisa?
[21:02] IORI
    "Sad like last time"?
[21:10] IORI
    That's what she meant?
[21:14] IORI
    What a meddlesome girl, seriously.
[21:22] IORI
    I'm off, then.
[21:23] NANAKA
    Take care.
[21:27] AZUSA
    Huh? Does Iori have plans?
[21:30] NANAKA
    Yeah.
[21:31] NANAKA
    He got a part-time job, apparently.
[21:33] AZUSA
    Really?
[21:38] MANAGER
    We have a new teammate.
[21:40] IORI
    I'm Iori Kitahara.
[21:43] IORI
    I'll work my butt off.
[21:45] IORI
    Thanks for having...
[21:48] IORI
    Me?
[21:49] IORI
    The hell was that for?!
[21:52] SAKURAKO
    Oh? Would you have preferred beer instead?
[22:01] IORI
    Goodbye! Thank you for everything!
[22:04] SAKURAKO
    Now, now. Don't go anywhere.
[22:07] SAKURAKO
    We're going to have a real good time here...
[22:11] SAKURAKO
    rookie.
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