5 - Like, Where Are Your Balls?!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:14] ---
    Calm down.
[00:16] ---
    A morning hello is no big deal!
[00:18] ---
    Morning! Tee-hee!
    Vamola! Ya doin' well?
[00:19] ---
    I practiced the heck out of it
    last night! I got this!
[00:23] ---
    I can't let her catch on
    that I'm a morning hello amateur!
[00:45] ---
    Hold on.
[00:46] ---
    Even though we became friends,
[00:48] ---
    would she suddenly start waiting for me
    at the school gate?
[00:50] ---
    She must be waiting for someone else!
[00:52] ---
    Morning!
[00:59] ---
    The correct answer is to ignore her.
[01:10] ---
    You're late. Let's go.
[02:48] ---
    And that alien was saying
    there were only men.
SIGN    EPISODE 5
    LIKE, WHERE ARE YOU BALLS?
[02:51] ---
    Oh, is that so?
[02:53] ---
    They come here from super far away
    on a UFO, right?
[02:55] ---
    That UFO must've been totally musty!
[02:59] ---
    I wonder what they normally eat.
    What do you think?
[03:03] ---
    Um, well, uh...
[03:07] ---
    We'll chat again later.
[03:09] ---
    Okay, see ya!
[03:11] ---
    Yes, later...
[03:15] ---
    See ya!
[03:17] ---
    That hurt, damn you!
    You're in the way, moron.
[03:20] ---
    Can you hurry up and step aside?
    You're so annoying!
[03:43] ---
    This is nothing.
[03:44] ---
    No matter how brutal people may be,
    I can forgive them all.
[03:49] ---
    Because I know...
[03:52] ---
    that I now have a wonderful friend!
[04:00] ---
    Over here!
[04:02] ---
    Okay! Here goes!
[04:02] ---
    I shall forgive them.
[04:14] ---
    No good. Totes zoned out.
[04:17] ---
    She's def acting weird!
[04:18] ---
    I was wondering why she didn't return
    my messages. She said she lost her phone.
[04:22] ---
    And she wasn't at school yesterday.
[04:24] ---
    Hey! Maybe she went to see
    that ex-boyfriend?
[04:27] ---
    Wow, for real?
[04:28] ---
    And he rejected her flat-out so she stopped
    caring about stuff and broke her phone?
[04:33] ---
    That's so possible.
[04:36] ---
    Here it comes! Agony time!
[04:37] ---
    It's when she remembers the past
    and writhes about.
SIGN    THE POWER TO LIVE!
[04:46] ---
    I wanna talk about aliens.
SIGN    CRAB + TURBO G UMA? SPIRITUAL PHENOMENON? FRESHWATER CRAB?
[04:51] ---
    I want to talk to Miss Ayase!
[04:53] ---
    I want to talk about ghosts!
[04:55] ---
    I was at my wit's end in the morning,
    and couldn't talk at all.
[04:58] ---
    Miss Ayase asked me
    all sorts of questions, too!
[05:02] ---
    I want to talk to Okarun!
[05:03] ---
    What do the aliens
    that assaulted us usually eat?
[05:06] ---
    And do they even wear underwear?
[05:09] ---
    You idiot, Ken! You moron!
[05:12] ---
    I want to talk to Okarun!
[05:14] ---
    I must hurry and recover our relationship,
    or she'll hate me!
[05:17] ---
    I wanna talk, I wanna talk to him!
SIGN    SPIRITUAL PHENOMENON ASSAULTING ALIENS ONLY HAVE MALES WHAT DO THEY USUALLY EAT?
[05:56] ---
    Huh? Who?
[05:57] ---
    Okarun! It's Okarun!
[05:59] ---
    Tell us his name. Real name.
[06:01] ---
    I can't possibly say his name!
[06:03] ---
    Bring me the boy with glasses
    who likes the occult!
[06:05] ---
    Was anyone interested in the occult?
[06:07] ---
    It's lunchtime,
    so maybe he's at the cafeteria?
[06:09] ---
    Um, excuse me.
[06:11] ---
    Is Miss Ayase here?
[06:13] ---
    Huh? Who? I can't hear you.
[06:16] ---
    Maybe she's at the cafeteria.
[06:18] ---
    Like Okarun would go
    to such a rowdy place!
[06:20] ---
    He's at the school store. The co-op!
[06:21] ---
    Co-op?
[06:23] ---
    I'll drop by after I check the cafeteria.
[06:32] ---
    She's not here. I should try the co-op.
[06:37] ---
    I guess I'll try the cafeteria.
[06:47] ---
    Nowhere to be found.
[06:53] ---
    She's avoiding me.
[06:55] ---
    She realized this morning how boring I am
[06:58] ---
    and must've thought
    that I'm a pain in the butt.
[07:00] ---
    Sheesh, where are you, Okarun?
[07:03] ---
    Lunch break is gonna be over soon!
[07:08] ---
    This is the worst.
[07:11] ---
    Come to think,
    he was pretty lifeless this morning.
[07:14] ---
    Maybe he doesn't like people
    getting in his face?
[07:18] ---
    Maybe I wasn't earnestly thinking
    about Okarun's feelings.
[07:23] ---
    Miss Ayase has so many friends, so I guess
    I'm just a friend candidate.
[07:31] ---
    Maybe he's avoiding me.
[07:35] ---
    Maybe I don't even count as a friend.
[07:58] ---
    I'm totes feelin' the blues.
[08:02] ---
    I was conceited.
[08:04] ---
    Why am I such a wimp?
[08:07] ---
    Why am I always like this?
[08:09] ---
    I'm sorry, Miss Ayase.
[08:11] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun.
[08:14] ---
    Ouch!
[08:15] ---
    I found you, Okarun!
[08:17] ---
    Miss Ayase!
[08:19] ---
    What are you doing there?
[08:20] ---
    That's my line!
[08:22] ---
    Ouch! Like, I heard teeth clashing!
[08:24] ---
    I was searching for you
    the whole time, Miss Ayase!
[08:28] ---
    And that's my line!
    Don't be wandering around so much!
[08:32] ---
    Were you looking for me?
[08:34] ---
    I was! And break is almost over!
[08:37] ---
    I'd thought that you were completely
    avoiding me, Miss Ayase.
[08:40] ---
    That's what I was thinking!
[08:45] ---
    Huh? This is turning really awkward.
[08:48] ---
    I have to change the topic fast!
[08:51] ---
    They were kissing just now!
[08:53] ---
    Hold on, Momo.
    You totes shoulda told us sooner!
[08:56] ---
    So that's why
    you've been acting so weird.
[08:58] ---
    No way! I'd never kiss
    a dimwit like him!
[09:01] ---
    That's right! I'd never do that
    with a stupid person like her!
[09:04] ---
    Hold on just a second!
[09:05] ---
    You don't got the right
    to reject, you baldie!
[09:07] ---
    I'm not bald!
    Can you even see properly!?
[09:10] ---
    How lame! A serious answer!
    You're so lame, damn four-eyes!
[09:13] ---
    Okay! You just antagonized every
    single person wearing glasses in the world!
[09:17] ---
    I don't want to talk to you, okay?
    Don't talk to me!
[09:20] ---
    You said it! You better not talk to me, okay?
[09:28] ---
    Wicked.
[09:30] ---
    Those two really get along!
[09:34] ---
    I couldn't help retort to her provoking.
[09:38] ---
    There are so many things
    I want to talk to her about.
[09:40] ---
    I have to properly apologize.
[09:44] ---
    Huh?
[09:47] ---
    No way.
[09:49] ---
    Momo! I heard you were kissing
    in the courtyard?
[09:51] ---
    What kinda guy is he? Which class?
[09:53] ---
    I said, it's nothing like that!
[09:57] ---
    Actually, he's an otaku,
    and a total four-eyes.
[10:00] ---
    - Don't you run off with the story!
    - Miss Ayase!
[10:03] ---
    There he is! That's the bae!
[10:05] ---
    I said...
[10:07] ---
    he's not my...
[10:09] ---
    Wait, what the hell are you doing?
[10:10] ---
    Miss Ayase, I have to talk to you!
[10:13] ---
    Oh, one of those.
[10:14] ---
    That's unexpected.
[10:15] ---
    Miss Ayase, there's a major issue!
[10:18] ---
    Why are you here?
[10:20] ---
    I said I didn't wanna talk to you!
[10:21] ---
    Shoo! Shoo!
[10:22] ---
    This isn't the time for all that!
[10:24] ---
    It's something important!
[10:26] ---
    I need to talk to you alone!
[10:28] ---
    Please, listen to me!
[10:30] ---
    As if!
[10:31] ---
    We start off with a bloodbath?
    I pity your bae!
[10:34] ---
    As. I. Said.
    He's not a boyfriend or anything!
[10:37] ---
    Don't spread strange rumors!
[10:39] ---
    Miss Ayase! You talked a whole bunch
    to me this morning!
[10:43] ---
    Why won't you talk to me at all now!?
[10:45] ---
    You said you didn't want
    to talk to me, too!
[10:47] ---
    I was just provoked,
    so it was just a retort.
[10:51] ---
    To be honest, I just wanted to talk to you
    more than anything, Miss Ayase!
[10:55] ---
    Quite the words!
[10:56] ---
    - Go for it, Otaku-kun!
    - Shut up!
[10:58] ---
    When I say I don't want to,
    I don't want to! Go away!
[11:01] ---
    Wow, how cold. That's so brutal.
[11:04] ---
    You guys are the brutal ones!
[11:11] ---
    So is it that embarrassing
    to be friendly to me?
[11:22] ---
    You don't have to go all-out
    to reject him, you know?
[11:25] ---
    If he's just a friend, you'd let it slide
    with a wisecrack like you always do.
[11:30] ---
    This isn't like you.
[11:42] ---
    I wonder if Miss Ayase
    already went home.
[11:45] ---
    Oh, I'm sorry.
[11:49] ---
    I'm sorry! Are you all right?
[11:52] ---
    Huh? Oh, no, are you okay?
[11:55] ---
    I have a water bottle in my bag.
    I hope it didn't hurt?
[12:00] ---
    Oh no, not at all.
    Maybe it's because I've been working out?
[12:04] ---
    I'm so sorry.
[12:08] ---
    That was totally my fault!
[12:10] ---
    P-Please don't worry about it.
[12:13] ---
    You're a very kind person.
[12:19] ---
    Man, I feel so bummed.
[12:22] ---
    It feels like I'm the bad guy.
[12:25] ---
    No, I was the one at fault.
[12:34] ---
    What the hell?
[12:35] ---
    Didn't he say he had no friends?
[12:38] ---
    And she's kinda cute, too.
[12:44] ---
    Hey, did you see that?
[12:46] ---
    That otaku had such
    a dumb look on his face.
[12:50] ---
    He totally fell for me back there.
[12:52] ---
    He must be head over heels
    for me by now.
[12:55] ---
    You're such a player.
[12:56] ---
    What? I mean, it's so fun
    when scum fall for you!
[13:01] ---
    I'm sure a guy like that never had
    a decent conversation with a girl, anyway.
[13:04] ---
    And he probably will never
    be touched by a cute girl like me ever again.
[13:08] ---
    I'm letting him dream,
    so isn't that a good thing?
[13:12] ---
    I'm sure that four-eyed otaku
    is happy now, too.
[13:22] ---
    - Aira!
    - You okay?
[13:23] ---
    But wait, why a washtub?
[13:25] ---
    That fell from directly above us,
    didn't it?
[13:28] ---
    Huh? That girl from earlier has fallen!
[13:30] ---
    Did the impact of bumping into me
    have a delayed effect?
[13:37] ---
    M-Miss Ayase?
[13:39] ---
    Okarun! Let's go home together!
[13:42] ---
    Oh, you're really looking sharp
    as usual with those glasses!
[13:46] ---
    I guess stupid girls will never
    understand your charm, Okarun.
[13:50] ---
    Some are more fit to have washtubs
    falling on their heads than guys falling for her.
[14:10] ---
    I'm sorry, Okarun.
[14:11] ---
    I had the worst attitude towards you.
[14:15] ---
    In the courtyard, after that incident
    that was like a kiss, I got all flustered.
[14:23] ---
    I'm sorry I was so embarrassed.
[14:26] ---
    I'm not embarrassed about
    being friendly to you, Okarun.
[14:30] ---
    No, it's fine! I don't mind at all.
[14:34] ---
    More like, I'm very happy that
    I could make amends with you.
[14:46] ---
    A...
[14:47] ---
    Anyway that's trivial.
    I have a huge problem!
[14:49] ---
    Huh? Wait, what do you mean trivial?
[14:52] ---
    I was agonizing a lot about this!
[14:54] ---
    Please calm down and listen.
[14:56] ---
    You know how we defeated
    Turbo Granny, right?
[14:59] ---
    We did beat her.
[15:00] ---
    We even visited a shrine afterwards.
[15:01] ---
    Your curse is gone,
    and your thing is back too, right?
[15:05] ---
    It's gone.
[15:07] ---
    What is?
[15:08] ---
    Balls.
[15:09] ---
    Huh?
[15:09] ---
    My balls are gone.
[15:13] ---
    That's why I told you to show me.
[15:15] ---
    To begin with, why didn't you notice?
    Those are your balls!
[15:19] ---
    Miss Ayase, you're laughing too hard!
[15:21] ---
    Well, the shaft was back, so I felt
    reassured and didn't notice the balls.
[15:27] ---
    Shaft? Stop making it sound
    like it's something glorious!
[15:29] ---
    Yours is nothing more than a pencil!
[15:32] ---
    You've never seen it!
[15:33] ---
    No choice. Gotta take a peek.
[15:36] ---
    What? You're going to look?
[15:37] ---
    I ain't gonna look at your wiener!
[15:40] ---
    I'm gonna peek into your soul.
[15:48] ---
    Momo! Bring me a doll, I don't care what!
[15:50] ---
    Also, bring a washing bin and some water.
[15:53] ---
    There's something hiding inside him.
[16:01] ---
    All right, let's begin.
SIGN    PEACEFUL PROSPEROUS FAMILY WARD AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[16:04] ---
    You put the talisman on the doll?
[16:10] ---
    You...
[16:11] ---
    dumb-dumb!
[16:14] ---
    Huh? What is this? Huh!?
[16:17] ---
    Don't move. Don't talk.
    You rotten tangerine.
[16:19] ---
    Wait a minute!
[16:20] ---
    Are you completely
    fooling around right now?
[16:23] ---
    The lines in the kanji for "person"
    support each other!
[16:26] ---
    Okay! You are fooling around!
[16:28] ---
    Besides, Kinpachi-sensei
    would never say "rotten tangerine"!
[16:31] ---
    Momo, did you get a glimpse of anything?
[16:35] ---
    I did.
[16:37] ---
    Right when Okarun got smacked,
    the aura changed for an instant.
[16:42] ---
    All right, Momo. Help me out.
[16:44] ---
    The instant the aura changes colors,
    pull out that aura.
[16:47] ---
    You can pull out a human aura?
[16:49] ---
    It won't be his.
[16:51] ---
    If it's something foreign,
    you should be able to pull it out.
[16:53] ---
    Here goes.
[16:55] ---
    Concentrate, okay?
[16:57] ---
    Okay.
[17:05] ---
    What?
[17:06] ---
    I felt it just now!
[17:08] ---
    Once I pulled it out, it disappeared!
[17:09] ---
    Crap, Grandma! I might've let it escape!
[17:13] ---
    Calm down.
[17:25] ---
    Wait up, damn it!
[17:27] ---
    It went that way! Come on, catch it!
[17:34] ---
    So fast! Seriously, what is that thing?
[17:36] ---
    Where did you go, rotten tangerine?
[17:40] ---
    I know!
[17:44] ---
    Where is that cat?
[17:47] ---
    There you are!
[17:54] ---
    Caught it!
[17:58] ---
    It's probably here!
[18:04] ---
    Let go of me, damn it!
[18:07] ---
    I'll kill all three of ya!
[18:11] ---
    That's amazing, Miss Ayase!
[18:13] ---
    Your psychic powers have evolved!
[18:16] ---
    Yeah! How's that?
[18:18] ---
    - Come at me!
    - So, who is this?
[18:20] ---
    - Come on, come on!
    - Dunno.
[18:22] ---
    Well that's surprising.
[18:24] ---
    What is this?
[18:26] ---
    It's Turbo Granny.
[18:28] ---
    But we defeated Turbo Granny!
    She went to the afterlife, right?
[18:32] ---
    Who'd be defeated
    by some youngins like you?
[18:35] ---
    Don't underestimate the elderly!
[18:37] ---
    Doesn't she look kind of cute?
[18:39] ---
    I just told you
    to not underestimate me, punk!
[18:42] ---
    In that instant I was getting burnt
    by the barrier spell,
[18:44] ---
    I switched to astral form
    as if I was swimming in the flames,
[18:47] ---
    and possessed the boy's body.
[18:50] ---
    As I was close to being diminished, I was able
    to completely sever my presence within his body.
[18:55] ---
    I was hiding inside him as I waited
    for my spiritual powers to recover.
[18:59] ---
    I'd been thinking, when the time comes,
    that I'll kill both of you.
[19:04] ---
    You're still gonna go at it?
    You've already lost.
[19:06] ---
    I haven't lost!
    There's no way I'd lose, idiot!
[19:11] ---
    Especially you!
    You're not getting away with this.
[19:15] ---
    I'll snap all your bones!
[19:20] ---
    Do you understand your current situation?
[19:23] ---
    We're the ones with the advantage here.
[19:25] ---
    You told us too much
    about what's on your mind.
[19:28] ---
    That's right! Hand the balls over!
    Gimme my balls!
[19:31] ---
    You have nowhere to run anymore!
[19:35] ---
    You shouldn't be thinking
    about defeating me.
[19:39] ---
    If I die, your balls
    will never go back to normal.
[19:44] ---
    You morons finally understand
    the situation now?
[19:48] ---
    I'm the only one
    with the advantage here, you bastards!
[19:53] ---
    So for now, boy, bring a kitchen knife.
[19:56] ---
    And kill these two bitches.
[19:58] ---
    If you do, I'll give your balls back to you!
[20:00] ---
    Damn you!
[20:01] ---
    Do it!
[20:03] ---
    You have no choice but to obey me!
[20:06] ---
    Hurry up and do it!
[20:21] ---
    Stuff like that is too much stress.
    Makes me wilt.
[20:25] ---
    Huh? Why? We drove Turbo Granny out,
    so why can you transform?
[20:30] ---
    Impossible! What's going on!?
[20:32] ---
    This paper fan is used to drive evil spirits
    outta people's bodies.
[20:38] ---
    You seem to have been
    trying really hard to cling on,
[20:41] ---
    because it looks like only
    Granny's consciousness came out.
[20:45] ---
    Which means, your spiritual power
    is still remaining inside the kid,
[20:48] ---
    and just the consciousness
    was transferred into the doll.
[20:52] ---
    By the way, I'm the only one who can
    return the consciousness to its original place.
[20:57] ---
    But didn't you face Kinpachi here
    and call me an idiot?
[21:01] ---
    You dumb-dumb cat-turd rotten tangerine.
[21:05] ---
    I'm sorry, Sensei!
[21:06] ---
    I'm not your Sensei, you fool!
[21:09] ---
    Oh, you really are cool Seiko-chan!
[21:11] ---
    The hell you think you're doing?
[21:14] ---
    You're back!
[21:16] ---
    That was amazing!
    How did you transform?
[21:18] ---
    - Well, I don't know.
    - Scurry, scurry.
[21:20] ---
    I really got pissed and felt
    I just couldn't forgive her, and I had transformed.
[21:21] ---
    Get back here! Don't you be
    running away, punk! You damn cat!
[21:23] ---
    - Ouch!
    - Take this!
[21:26] ---
    You dumb-dumb! You rotten tangerine!
[21:28] ---
    That's enough. Cut it out.
[21:31] ---
    You're really petty, but to be honest,
    I can't really hate you.
[21:36] ---
    The feeling of sympathy for those girls
    is the same, after all.
[21:40] ---
    So let's be a bit friendly here.
[21:43] ---
    If you give the balls back,
    we'll return you your powers. Okay?
[21:49] ---
    Okay?
[21:51] ---
    Damn punks.
[21:54] ---
    Fine.
[21:55] ---
    All right, it's settled!
[21:57] ---
    Now hurry up and give the balls back!
[22:00] ---
    They're not here.
[22:02] ---
    Hey! You promised.
[22:05] ---
    - Hurry up and—
    - I don't lie.
[22:07] ---
    His balls?
    I dropped them somewhere.
[23:44] ---
    Oh, no.
[23:44] ---
    Danger.
[23:45] ---
    What's dangerous?
[23:47] ---
    Humans are creatures that
    just accidentally mutter "danger" sometimes.
[23:50] ---
    I totally get that.
SIGN    EPISODE 6 A DANGEROUS WOMAN ARRIVES
[23:52] ---
    Next episode,
    "A Dangerous Woman Arrives."
[23:53] ---
    And I'm asking you,
    what's so dangerous?