3 - It's a Granny vs. Granny Clash!
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] ---
Your age is 27?
[00:04] ---
I'm 20.
[00:05] ---
You have a wife and child?
[00:06] ---
I live alone.
[00:08] ---
You like curry?
[00:09] ---
I like ramen.
SIGN CAN PSYCHIC POWERS EXPOSE?
[00:15] ---
Santa Dodoria sure is something.
[00:17] ---
So flamboyantly wrong.
[00:19] ---
There's no way such a young idol
could have a wife and a kid.
[00:22] ---
Even I can see that.
[00:24] ---
Is it okay to air that as-is?
[00:27] ---
Should be okay.
[00:28] ---
Nobody would be so pissed off
at a local program like this one.
SIGN VACANT
SIGN CARRYING PASSENGERS
[00:44] ---
You're Santa Dodoria, aren't you?
[00:47] ---
I saw you on TV the other day.
[00:50] ---
Do you really have psychic powers?
[00:53] ---
Here's fine. Drop me off.
[00:56] ---
Huh?
[00:59] ---
It's not like I'm trying to insult you
or anything. I just wanted you to show me.
[01:04] ---
If you don't wanna die,
hurry on and scram.
[01:34] ---
Come on now, I thought you brought over
yet another scumbag.
[01:39] ---
But this one isn't even human.
[01:41] ---
Sheesh. My grandkid
only brings problems in.
[01:45] ---
My skin's gonna get dry from all the stress.
[01:50] ---
Come on. Bring it on.
SIGN EPISODE 3
IT'S A GRANNY VS. GRANNY CLASH!
[03:32] ---
That was close! You're super fast!
[03:35] ---
But things happened just as I predicted.
[03:39] ---
I thought you'd come around
to my blind spot.
[03:43] ---
You fell into the trap
that I had set up beforehand.
[03:51] ---
If you cross that line, you'll die.
[03:55] ---
That's a barrier right there.
[03:59] ---
When you drive a warding nail
inside this circle,
[04:02] ---
the inside of the circle
turns into a barrier.
[04:04] ---
But if you drive it outside the circle, the area
outside of the circle becomes the barrier.
[04:09] ---
The reason you couldn't touch me
was because I was protected by a barrier.
[04:25] ---
I'll make sure to eat and kill you.
[04:28] ---
Don't think you can keep me trapped forever.
[04:32] ---
I don't wanna trap you.
I wanna kill you.
[04:44] ---
Come on, stand your ground, will ya?
[04:46] ---
You're gonna cross that line!
[04:51] ---
What's wrong?
[04:52] ---
When you're in there, you can't make use
of your speed that you're so proud of.
[04:56] ---
You scummy old hag!
[04:58] ---
Did an old hag just call
another old hag a scummy old hag?
[05:02] ---
That pisses me off.
[05:07] ---
If you burn me,
this guy that I cursed will die, too.
[05:14] ---
I'll kill off all scumbags
who deceive my grandkid.
[05:18] ---
Even if they're human.
[05:23] ---
Bye.
[05:24] ---
Scummy old hag!
[05:38] ---
Okarun!
[05:41] ---
Hey, you were home?
[05:42] ---
Shut up. I'm watching
"Bakatono."
[05:46] ---
Anyway, I have something
to talk about with you.
[05:49] ---
You went to a spiritual hotspot?
[05:53] ---
I did.
[05:54] ---
Not me, but a friend.
[05:57] ---
Why?
[05:59] ---
"Why?"
[06:00] ---
Because we were talking
and that's how things ended up.
[06:07] ---
"Bakatono"
is Japan's national treasure.
[06:09] ---
Hey, were you listening?
[06:12] ---
Anyway, did you see a guy?
[06:13] ---
He'll be in big trouble
if I'm not around!
[06:17] ---
If you're talking about the evil spirit,
I killed it.
[06:21] ---
An evil spirit? What kind?
Did it have glasses on?
[06:25] ---
Come on, you don't even believe
in ghosts.
[06:31] ---
Besides, I'm a fake spirit medium.
[06:37] ---
How long are you gonna hold
that grudge, you scummy old hag.
[06:39] ---
Something really bad might happen,
so just answer me!
[06:43] ---
Stop it. Don't believe in those stories.
[06:46] ---
There are no evil spirits,
and I'm a fake.
[06:55] ---
Grandma.
[07:01] ---
I'm sorry. I was wrong.
[07:04] ---
So please tell me.
What did you do to the evil spirit?
[07:09] ---
Head over to the main shrine.
[07:11] ---
Scummy old hag!
[07:13] ---
If something's wrong with Okarun,
I'll never forgive you!
[07:18] ---
I didn't want to miss my chance.
[07:21] ---
He was just an occult freak
who simply wanted friends.
[07:25] ---
It's my fault.
[07:27] ---
Because I forced him
to go to that place!
[07:30] ---
I'm sorry, Okarun!
[07:32] ---
Okarun!
[07:38] ---
Miss Ayase! I'm so glad!
[07:40] ---
I thought that I'd murdered you
or something.
[07:44] ---
Huh?
[07:45] ---
Wait. Miss Ayase?
[07:47] ---
Miss Ayase?
[07:49] ---
You're still alive and well,
scumbag four-eyes!
[07:52] ---
What? What's up with that?
[07:53] ---
Well, I’m sorry I'm still alive!
[07:58] ---
I'm so irritated.
[08:06] ---
Since when have you
started being friends with monsters?
[08:09] ---
You scared me!
[08:11] ---
The curse won't kick in
as long as he's in there.
[08:13] ---
But one step outside,
and he's back to a monster.
[08:17] ---
What was that about killing him off?
You lied to me.
[08:20] ---
You seemed pretty desperate.
You into brats like that?
[08:25] ---
No way!
[08:27] ---
Turbo Granny took his you-know-what.
[08:30] ---
And she told me that as long as she has it,
his curse won't be lifted.
[08:35] ---
I'm responsible for what happened to him,
so I just want to do something about it.
[08:40] ---
Oh, I see. So you do like him.
[08:42] ---
I didn't say that!
[08:44] ---
Anyway, I can use psychic powers now.
[08:48] ---
What the hell are you talkin' about?
[08:50] ---
I went to this place where UFOs show up.
[08:52] ---
A lot of stuff happened there,
and now I can use powers.
[08:55] ---
But UFOs don't exist.
[08:57] ---
I totally get that reaction.
I was just like that until yesterday.
[09:02] ---
Anyway, it's true
that I can use psychic powers now.
[09:05] ---
And if I'm not holding back
Okarun's curse with it, he goes wild.
[09:08] ---
I'm sure psychic powers exist.
[09:10] ---
I don't know what your criteria
for believing stuff is.
[09:13] ---
Anyway, Turbo Granny, huh?
[09:17] ---
You sure got your hands
on a troublesome one.
[09:20] ---
In the past, she used to be called
Hundred Kilo Granny.
[09:23] ---
She's a modern yokai monster that
wreaked havoc all over the country.
[09:27] ---
And I heard such an elusive entity
had been dwelling for some time in that tunnel.
[09:33] ---
I went over there once to check things out.
SIGN KEEP OUT
[09:37] ---
It was most strange.
[09:39] ---
I couldn't even get near the tunnel
[09:41] ---
because of just how strong
the spiritual power was.
[09:45] ---
You know about location-bound spirits?
[09:48] ---
They're spirits that stay in particular locations
that they have strong attachments to.
[09:53] ---
They're basically the strongest
within their territories.
[09:57] ---
No spirit medium would go up
against a location-bound spirit.
[10:03] ---
There was a location-bound spirit
inside that tunnel.
[10:08] ---
Do you know what that means?
[10:14] ---
Turbo Granny and that location-bound spirit
had fused together.
[10:23] ---
Don't try to fight against it.
[10:26] ---
I don't want to lose my dear grandchild.
[10:32] ---
You're not directly involved with it, either.
[10:35] ---
So forget about him.
[10:39] ---
You should return to everyday life.
[10:43] ---
I wonder what the Ken-san I love
would do in times like this.
[10:48] ---
When I can't decide, that's what I think.
[10:52] ---
I've never had regrets by choosing this way.
[10:54] ---
And if this was Ken-san,
I'm 100% positive he'd go in and help.
[10:59] ---
So that's what I'm gonna do!
[11:02] ---
Ken-san, you say?
[11:05] ---
- You're totally in love with that kid!
- No, that's not what I mean!
[11:07] ---
I wasn't talking about him!
[11:09] ---
Hey, she's confessing your love to you.
How do you feel?
[11:12] ---
I told you that's not what I mean!
I'm talking about the actor!
[11:15] ---
Looks like I got no choice
if you're gonna go that far.
[11:20] ---
Go play tag with Turbo Granny.
[11:23] ---
That thing has absolute confidence
in its running.
[11:26] ---
A few random taunts
and it's sure to take the challenge.
[11:29] ---
Now this is where the problem starts.
[11:31] ---
The location-bound spirit's territory
is all of Shono City.
[11:34] ---
You have to lure Turbo Granny outside
of the city without getting caught.
[11:38] ---
If you can drag it away from its territory,
[11:40] ---
it will get weak and even you guys
will be able to defeat it.
[11:45] ---
Oh no, look at these feeble legs.
[11:47] ---
There's no way in hell
I can play tag against Turbo Granny.
[11:50] ---
Instead of doing something like that,
[11:52] ---
can't you make something
like those barriers and deal with it?
SIGN PEACEFUL PROSPEROUS FAMILY WARD AGAINST EVIL AND MISFORTUNE
[11:54] ---
Like putting one up at the tunnel.
[11:58] ---
I can't do that.
[12:00] ---
I can't help out to begin with.
[12:02] ---
Huh? What's up with that?
SIGN KAMIGOE CITY
[12:03] ---
My barrier spells only borrow the powers
of the gods that live on this land.
[12:08] ---
Once we leave Kamigoe City where we live,
I can't use these powers.
[12:13] ---
Oh, so we have our own territory, too.
[12:15] ---
All lands have their own gods.
[12:18] ---
The problem is whether you're playing
a home or an away game.
[12:21] ---
In any case, this is the only way
to defeat Turbo Granny.
[12:24] ---
If you start physically training now,
[12:26] ---
you should be able to become
fast enough to run away from her.
[12:28] ---
Are you seriously saying that?
[12:30] ---
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even
make it to the prefecture finals for track meets!
[12:34] ---
I'm not talking about you.
[12:36] ---
Huh?
[12:37] ---
- I'm talking about him.
- Oh, I see!
[12:40] ---
You're finally including me
into the conversation?
[12:43] ---
Sorry, I forgot.
[12:45] ---
But Okarun, you have no stamina.
[12:47] ---
None at all.
[12:48] ---
And I have to keep control over your curse.
[12:51] ---
Then he needs to run piggy-backing Momo.
[12:53] ---
Miss Ayase, how much do you weigh?
[12:55] ---
Hey, do ya wanna die?
[12:57] ---
Oh no, it's just impossible!
[12:59] ---
My limit for going full strength
in cursed mode is about twice!
[13:02] ---
Right!
[13:04] ---
Then train so that you can
always be at full strength.
[13:06] ---
Get to it. Push-ups, sit-ups, back extensions,
and squats. Five sets, 100 reps each.
[13:10] ---
- Huh?
- Do it.
[13:11] ---
And Momo, same goes
for your psychic powers.
[13:14] ---
You need to power it up
more than what it is now.
[13:19] ---
As I can't be of any help,
you guys simply have to get stronger.
[13:24] ---
So I will be training the two of you.
[13:27] ---
Go to sleep for today.
We'll start tomorrow.
[13:30] ---
Four-eyes, start your physical training
right now.
[13:32] ---
Oh, okay.
[13:35] ---
Your granny is so young.
[13:38] ---
Isn't she annoying?
[13:43] ---
Miss Ayase, I'm so sorry.
[13:47] ---
When I fought that big thing,
[13:50] ---
I was honestly too desperate
to think of anyone other than myself.
[13:54] ---
I'm really sorry.
[13:56] ---
Oh, there's nothing
you could've done about that.
[13:58] ---
But Miss Ayase, you were different.
[14:01] ---
You saved me and defeated the monster.
[14:05] ---
But if something like that happens again,
I'll do my best so that I can save you.
[14:12] ---
So please don't be disappointed with me.
[14:15] ---
Please, don't stop being a friend.
[14:20] ---
I wouldn't be disappointed.
You're overthinking.
[14:25] ---
Then why did you slam the door earlier?
[14:28] ---
W-Well, that was...
[14:29] ---
See, there you go!
You really were disappointed!
[14:32] ---
I said I wasn't!
[14:34] ---
But like, I am right now!
You're such a pain!
[14:37] ---
I'm sorry.
[14:39] ---
You were pretty awesome
when you were fighting.
[14:43] ---
But you're kinda dense, Okarun.
I'll probably be saving you next time, too!
[14:50] ---
You sleep there for today.
[14:51] ---
I'll bring you a futon right now.
[14:58] ---
Miss Ayase!
[15:01] ---
Um, well...
[15:06] ---
I'm...
[15:09] ---
really thirsty,
so can I have some water?
[15:14] ---
Can I take this barley tea?
[15:17] ---
Sure thing.
[15:19] ---
We have some shocking news
that just came in!
SIGN NEWS FLASH! SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD SCANDAL SHOCKING - POPULAR IDOL SHOMA (20) MAY HAVE A SECRET CHILD. AGENCY HAS ADMITTED.
[15:21] ---
It came out into the open
that popular idol Shoma had a secret child!
[15:25] ---
And his age wasn't 20, but actually 27!
[15:29] ---
They need to correct his favorite food
from ramen to curry, too!
SIGN NEWS FLASH - SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD FOUND
[15:35] ---
Furthermore...
[15:35] ---
...he and his partner...
SIGN [LIVE] EMERGENCY SHOMA (20) A SECRET CHILD?
[15:37] ---
...have not...
SIGN BROADCAST SHOMA (20) SECRET CHILD PRESS CONFERENCE
[15:37] ---
...formally submitted...
SIGN POPULAR IDOL'S SECRET CHILD FOUND SHOMA (20) ADMITS
[15:38] ---
...a marriage license.
SIGN NEWS FLASH! POPULAR IDOL'S SHOCKING TRUTH... AGENCY HOLDS EMERGENCY CONFERENCE
[15:44] ---
I couldn't care less about that news.
[15:48] ---
Miss Ayase!
[15:50] ---
Crap! Okarun wants to go
to the bathroom!
[15:54] ---
Just go.
[15:55] ---
No, but this is seriously bad news!
[15:57] ---
If something blocks my view and
I can't see Okarun, my spell on him breaks!
[16:01] ---
In other words, I have to watch Okarun
as he relieves himself!
[16:04] ---
Then watch him.
[16:05] ---
I'd never want to watch!
[16:07] ---
Who would show you, anyway?
[16:09] ---
That tramples upon someone else's dignity!
[16:11] ---
Hey! Don't look away!
[16:16] ---
Don't you have any good ideas?
[16:18] ---
Dunno.
[16:19] ---
How the hell are you holding
the curse back to begin with, anyway?
[16:23] ---
Let's see...
[16:24] ---
How do I put it...
[16:25] ---
It's like I can see an aura around Okarun.
[16:28] ---
An aura?
[16:29] ---
And when I crush that aura
with my hands, the aura shrinks.
[16:35] ---
And the curse subsides, I guess?
[16:38] ---
Everyone has some kind of aura,
and they come in all sorts of colors.
[16:41] ---
I see them on the trees
and rocks there too.
[16:44] ---
I can grab all those auras and move them
at my will, though only in a small area.
[16:49] ---
I see. I thought psychic powers
were a lot more omnipotent.
[16:53] ---
Sounds like it's quite limited.
[16:57] ---
It was a lot more amazing the moment
the powers awoke inside of me.
[17:01] ---
That was when everything I imagined
turned into reality, like I was invincible!
[17:06] ---
But that went away real quick.
I can only grab auras and stuff now.
[17:11] ---
Momo, close your eyes for a bit.
[17:13] ---
No way. If I do that,
my spell will be lifted.
[17:16] ---
Basically, the problem
is the reliance on your vision.
[17:19] ---
Try using all of your senses, such as touch.
[17:23] ---
The fact that you can grab the aura
means that it's tactile.
[17:27] ---
So close those eyes
and try feeling the aura with your skin.
[17:33] ---
Slowly, feel it around you.
[17:40] ---
So cold.
[17:42] ---
How am I doing?
[17:43] ---
Yeah.
[17:45] ---
He's transformed.
[17:46] ---
No good.
[17:47] ---
Well, crap.
[17:48] ---
That really pushed me close to the limit!
I won't last much longer!
[17:52] ---
What are you gonna do, Momo?
He's gonna poop any moment.
[17:55] ---
You're the one who told me to try that!
[17:56] ---
I don't want to be watched
as I relieve myself!
[17:59] ---
But I wanna pee in my pants even less!
[18:02] ---
Hold on!
[18:03] ---
I'm gonna borrow your bathro—
[18:06] ---
You've got some nerve to take a dump
in someone else's house, punk!
[18:10] ---
I'm pretty desperate too, you know!
[18:12] ---
Why you little...
[18:13] ---
Who said they'd lend you the bathroom?
[18:14] ---
Are you an absolute idiot?
I can piss right here if you want!
[18:17] ---
Let me in on this too!
[18:19] ---
Don't think you can run faster
than me in this house!
[18:21] ---
Outta my way!
Or you'll have a disaster!
[18:23] ---
Not bad, Ken Takakura!
[18:25] ---
This one is mine!
[18:26] ---
Not letting you!
[18:31] ---
This is humiliating.
[18:33] ---
Says you.
[18:34] ---
I had looked forward to experiences
unknown until now,
[18:37] ---
like getting abducted by aliens.
[18:40] ---
Seriously?
[18:41] ---
But this is just too much.
[18:43] ---
I want to hurry up
and be released from this curse.
[18:46] ---
Momo, you said that you were invincible
when your powers first awoke.
[18:51] ---
Yeah.
[18:52] ---
That's likely your original power.
[18:55] ---
And it seems for some reason,
that power has been sealed off.
[18:58] ---
What's with that? It sounds kinda cool.
[19:00] ---
It's a pain in the butt.
[19:02] ---
You have to unleash it
bit by bit through training,
[19:06] ---
and we don't know
how long that will take.
[19:08] ---
Though it's okay because it looks like
that boy's physical makeover will take some time.
[19:12] ---
I have to be watched while going
to the bathroom for a while?
[19:15] ---
That's my line...
[19:19] ---
Grandma, it's here! Turbo Granny!
[19:21] ---
Grandma?
[19:22] ---
Grandma?
[19:24] ---
Damn you! What the hell
are you doing to Grandma?
[19:27] ---
I'm letting her choose her cause of death.
A heart attack or a stroke.
[19:33] ---
My curse is contagious through this brat.
[19:38] ---
Any human this brat sees,
I can curse to death.
[19:42] ---
Don't underestimate me.
I'm not gonna give you any time.
[19:48] ---
Come to the tunnel tonight.
[19:50] ---
Otherwise, I'll use this brat to curse
everyone around there to death.
[19:55] ---
That's tonight.
[19:57] ---
Got that?
[20:02] ---
A nosebleed...
[20:03] ---
Grandma!
[20:04] ---
What's this?
[20:06] ---
You're bleeding from your ears, too!
[20:07] ---
Does your head hurt or something?
[20:10] ---
Momo. Let's hear about what just happened.
[20:15] ---
Am I seriously wearing this?
[20:16] ---
It's hard to see in front of me.
[20:18] ---
That's a bulletproof vest
against evil spirits.
[20:21] ---
Make sure to keep them on.
[20:23] ---
If you let your guard down,
you'll die quite easily.
[20:25] ---
I know that! Despite how we look,
we did defeat aliens!
[20:29] ---
There's no such thing as aliens.
Quit horsing around.
[20:33] ---
Oh, okay.
[20:35] ---
You bring all the trouble home in the first place
because you're like that.
[20:40] ---
You've never listened to me
ever since you were a little kid.
[20:42] ---
Man, so annoying!
The old hag's nagging is annoying.
[20:46] ---
Let's go, Okarun.
[20:51] ---
Momo!
[20:52] ---
What now? You're so naggy.
[21:00] ---
Don't die.
[21:03] ---
Yeah.
[21:10] ---
I beg of you.
[21:12] ---
Please, protect those two.
[21:17] ---
Why are we going by train?
[21:19] ---
It's too far by bicycle!
[21:20] ---
And you don't want to use up your stamina
before we get there!
[21:23] ---
You seriously aren't getting off
the hook, Turbo Granny!
[21:26] ---
- I'm sorry, this is all for...
- No way!
[21:31] ---
That hag tried to hurt something dear to me!
[21:35] ---
I'm gonna beat Turbo Granny into a pulp!
[23:11] ---
Hold on, Miss Ayase!
You shouldn't do that here!
[23:14] ---
I want to hurry up and take these off.
[23:16] ---
Is it okay to do that?
[23:17] ---
It's a battle uniform to protect yourself
from evil spirits, right?
[23:21] ---
Your grandmother said keep it on.
[23:22] ---
Who the hell would wear something like that?
[23:26] ---
Fashion is the battle uniform for gyarus!
[23:29] ---
I can't get hyped up unless I wear
the clothes I want to wear!
[23:34] ---
Why are you smiling?
[23:36] ---
Isn't this kinda fun?
[23:37] ---
Not at all. I feel like I'm about to puke.
[23:42] ---
Who's a gaudy old hag, ya scummy old hag!
[23:44] ---
What's got into you?
[23:45] ---
Turbo Granny called me
a gaudy old hag the other day!
[23:47] ---
Huh? That really happened?
[23:48] ---
You were kinda crazy
from that curse, Okarun!
[23:50] ---
All right, let's go!
[23:52] ---
Next episode,
"Kicking Turbo Granny's Ass."
SIGN EPISODE 4 KICKING TURBO GRANNY'S ASS
[23:54] ---
But in the end,
it's a bit embarrassing to go by train.
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