E7 - Zo Zo Zombie: Chapter Seven

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
    A zombie is a resurrected corpse,
    an undead monster!
[00:08] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE
[00:12] ---
    A DARK RITUAL IS DANGEROUS!
[00:20] ---
    I can't believe you beat my best time!
    This is impossible!
[00:26] ---
    My drone!
[00:28] ---
    Your drone has disrupted my ritual
    of darkness!
[00:32] ---
    -Okay. Can we have it back now?
    -Never!
[00:36] ---
    Well, only if you pledge undying loyalty
    and become my dark assistants!
[00:41] ---
    What happened to your friend Keith?
[00:44] ---
    Keith is busy.
[00:47] ---
    Keith, you're late!
[00:48] ---
    Sorry, I'm really busy.
[00:51] ---
    Plus, I'm not feeling well.
[00:53] ---
    Oh, and also, this isn't actually Keith.
[00:58] ---
    By the void of Balk,
    brandish the Chalice of Darkness.
[01:03] ---
    Now fill the Chalice
    with the ingredients of doom!
[01:07] ---
    Hey, next page.
[01:11] ---
    Two sticks of butter and one cup of sugar!
[01:15] ---
    And four cups of pie crust mix!
[01:18] ---
    Give me the ingredients,
    my dark assistant!
[01:21] ---
    REFRIGERATOR ORGAN
[01:24] ---
    That sounds like
    a pie recipe or something.
[01:27] ---
    You dare doubt my evil motives?
[01:29] ---
    This ancient spell was handed down to me
    by my older brother and fellow sorcerer,
[01:33] ---
    Dark Chet, who would never betray me!
[01:41] ---
    And next, we add four cups of dog poop!
[01:45] ---
    No way!
[01:48] ---
    Two cups, then.
[01:50] ---
    How about one cup?
[01:54] ---
    How about we use poop emojis instead?
[02:01] ---
    Then, bake at four hundred degrees!
[02:10] ---
    And now, I shall unleash...
[02:14] ---
    a pie?
[02:15] ---
    Dude, haven't you figured out by now
    that your brother totally tricked you!
[02:20] ---
    Anyway, we're out of here.
[02:29] ---
    I am Poopcifer!
[02:33] ---
    I am here to destroy this world!
[02:35] ---
    By the way, Chet totally tricked you.
[02:39] ---
    Prepare for the poop!
[02:46] ---
    Out of the way!
[02:49] ---
    Use the toilets, Zo Zo Zombie!
[02:55] ---
    Don't flush me down the toilet! No!
[03:06] ---
    Hold on a second!
[03:08] ---
    Did you actually just flush poop emojis
    in toilet emojis? Did you?
[03:14] ---
    I cannot believe this.
    You guys are way too weird for me.
[03:17] ---
    Hey, are you going to eat that pie?
[03:19] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE
[03:24] ---
    PANIC AT THE ZOO!
[03:31] ---
    Don't feel so bad Panda Zombie.
[03:33] ---
    I know you're locked out, but we can still
    get you home in time for Bamboo Smoothies!
[03:38] ---
    You're right, it is kind of his fault.
[03:40] ---
    We would've been back hours ago
[03:42] ---
    if you hadn't stayed
    to sign so many autographs for your fans.
[03:47] ---
    Sure, you're a big zoo star and all,
[03:49] ---
    but seriously,
    you still have to watch the clock.
[03:54] ---
    Is that a lock-picking set?
[03:57] ---
    We have two minutes until they start
    serving Bamboo Smoothies!
[04:03] ---
    Oh, no!
[04:06] ---
    "Warning, this parking lot is guarded by
    an angry Shark Zombie patrol."
[04:13] ---
    Hurry up and pick the lock, Zo Zo Zombie!
[04:17] ---
    Zo Zo Zombie!
[04:19] ---
    Hey, you!
[04:20] ---
    Do something!
[04:21] ---
    Halt!
[04:34] ---
    The report says there were intruders
    in the parking lot,
[04:37] ---
    but there's no one down there.
[04:39] ---
    We better take a look inside.
[04:43] ---
    We should probably check out the lion pen.
[04:54] ---
    Save us!
[04:59] ---
    It doesn't look like anyone is there.
[05:00] ---
    How about the monkey pen?
[05:11] ---
    Monkeys are freaking scary!
[05:12] ---
    Nothing at all.
    Let's check out the deadly snake pit.
[05:19] ---
    How about the porcupine and cactus area?
[05:24] ---
    The stuffed animal shops?
[05:29] ---
    There's only one exhibit
    we haven't checked.
[05:32] ---
    The fiery volcano pit built
    for the Lava Sloth?
[06:09] ---
    Who's there?
[06:13] ---
    Hey, you made it home, Panda Zombie!
[06:16] ---
    And you barely made it
    for the Bamboo Smoothies.
[06:28] ---
    -Delicious!
    -Delicious!
[06:30] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE
[06:34] ---
    THE BATHROOM SHOWDOWN!
[06:38] ---
    All done!
[06:41] ---
    Best paint job ever!
[06:48] ---
    We should get this cleaned up
    before Mom gets home.
[06:51] ---
    I'll get some wet wipes.
[06:58] ---
    All done!
[07:01] ---
    Oh, no! Now the drain's clogged!
[07:06] ---
    Oh, right! A plunger is just what we need!
[07:09] ---
    Here goes!
[07:15] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE'S HAIR
    IT'S ALIVE!
[07:25] ---
    You're saying the clog has turned
    into a junk zombie now?
[07:28] ---
    So this is...
[07:29] ---
    ATTACK OF THE JUNK ZOMBIE
[07:30] ---
    Attack of the Junk Zombie?
[07:33] ---
    My bad.
[07:35] ---
    That's kind of offensive to zombies.
[07:38] ---
    Zo Zo Zombie vs The Junk Monster!
[07:41] ---
    So this movie's all about you now?
[07:44] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE VS THE JUNK MONSTER
[07:45] ---
    I'm just saying. I'm here too, you know.
[07:50] ---
    The junk zombie has started moving!
[07:54] ---
    1\pos(314,282)}RUNAWAY JUNK ZOMBIES*
[07:56] ---
    Runaway Junk Zombies?
[07:58] ---
    It sounds like a movie
    that grandmas would watch.
[08:04] ---
    The junk zombie is starting
    to spread everywhere!
[08:06] ---
    If we don't stop it somehow,
    it'll take over the entire world!
[08:10] ---
    Infinity Junk War!
[08:13] ---
    I'm so over the superhero thing.
[08:25] ---
    We're doomed.
[08:29] ---
    You're right,
    we've been thinking about this all wrong!
[08:32] ---
    Life isn't like a movie!
[08:33] ---
    It's more like a video game!
[09:01] ---
    He looks scared.
[09:05] ---
    Hey! I was wrong. Life isn't a video game!
    And it's not a movie either!
[09:08] ---
    What we need here is just a bedtime story!
[09:14] ---
    Happy Little Junky.
[09:28] ---
    And so, the little clog returned
    to its home in the sewers
[09:33] ---
    and lived happily ever after!
[09:40] ---
    ZO ZO ZOMBIE
[09:44] ---
    SHOPPING AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE!
[09:56] ---
    Geez! What the heck?
[10:02] ---
    Hey, listen!
[10:03] ---
    I wanted this purse, but guess what
    the clerk said when I tried to buy it?
[10:11] ---
    She didn't say, "Giant manatees
    are taking over the world!"
[10:13] ---
    That's just weird.
[10:15] ---
    She didn't say anything!
    She ignored me like I wasn't even there!
[10:18] ---
    Like I'm not cool enough
    to shop in this store!
[10:22] ---
    She's so mean!
[10:26] ---
    It was a pleasure taking your money.
[10:29] ---
    Next customer.
[10:33] ---
    Anyone?
[10:43] ---
    You're obviously not cool enough
    to be shopping here.
[10:46] ---
    Get out, or I'll call security!
[10:50] ---
    You can't get me fired
    even if you file a report.
[10:53] ---
    I'm just far too beautiful!
[10:56] ---
    I'd like to buy some perfume.
[10:58] ---
    Of course! I have just the thing.
[11:01] ---
    This lovely scent
    will make you think of...
[11:03] ---
    Tomato juice?
[11:04] ---
    Oh, dear, I'm so sorry!
    Let me clean you off with this towel!
[11:14] ---
    What do the rules say
    about farting in the store?
[11:17] ---
    Stop stinking up the customers or else!
[11:19] ---
    Yes, sir.
[11:23] ---
    I need some super-cool earrings.
[11:25] ---
    I have just the thing for you right here.
[11:34] ---
    What's the rule
    about zombie eyeball earrings?
[11:36] ---
    If you chase off one more customer,
    you're done!
[11:40] ---
    Yes, sir.
[11:43] ---
    Oh, hi! Can I help you?
[11:46] ---
    Excellent choice! That purse is very you.
[11:49] ---
    How would you like to pay?
[11:53] ---
    Thank you for shopping with us.
[11:57] ---
    Hang on! Zombie Expresscard?
[12:06] ---
    So you were trying to trick me?
[12:08] ---
    I told you, zombies can't shop here,
    not now, not ever!
[12:12] ---
    Because I hate zombies!
[12:19] ---
    What are the rules
    on releasing a supernatural rage?
[12:22] ---
    Sir...
[12:23] ---
    And stripping a customer's dress off too!
[12:25] ---
    You're fired!
[12:27] ---
    Oh, no.
[12:28] ---
    Madam.
[12:32] ---
    Please accept this purse at no charge,
    in addition to our most sincere apologies.
[12:39] ---
    Oh, is this for me?
[12:41] ---
    I wanted it, but not anymore!
[12:44] ---
    This is what all the cool girls
    are carrying now.