E3 - Club Activities, Etc.

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    Yeehaw! This here is Kaginado Academy.
[00:04] ---
    A school attended by the people from
    various worlds who live in this town!
[00:08] ---
    I'd bet after-school activities
    are even more lively!
[00:12] ---
    I'm totally going to run
    for head of the student council!
[00:20] ---
    "Club Activities, Etc."
[00:21] ---
    Sorry, but starting today,
    this place will be used by us...
[00:25] ---
    The Neo Kendo Club!
[00:27] ---
    Wait, but none of you have a shinai...
[00:29] ---
    I am a demon slayer.
[00:31] ---
    My blade shall cut through all!
[00:33] ---
    This is just a replica sword,
    it can't cut.
[00:36] ---
    You cut me with that thing last episode!
[00:38] ---
    Also, why are they all girls?!
    Is this a harem?!
[00:40] ---
    Are you supposed to be Tomoya Okazaki?!
[00:43] ---
    There was a chance
    I could have been like him, too!
[00:45] ---
    Yikes! You all are
    definitely not using kendo!
[00:49] ---
    Enough talk. Leave this place, or else.
[00:53] ---
    N-No violence!
[00:54] ---
    Please let us compete through soccer!
SIGN    Blond dude and a toilet seat cover
    & unrelated folks Soccer Club
SIGN    Superhuman trying to look young
     & savage goddesses Neo Kendo Club
[01:00] ---
    I shall punish those who
    soil the good name of kendo...
[01:02] ---
    I can't say no to anyone
    who wants help from my muscles.
[01:06] ---
    What is that large cat-like creature?
    A new type of monster?
[01:11] ---
    Just a handicap.
[01:12] ---
    I thought you said you literally had to
    borrow a cat's hand because nobody came.
[01:15] ---
    Don't give away the truth!
[01:18] ---
    If the Soccer Club can't even
    beat the Neo Kendo Club in soccer,
[01:21] ---
    then there's no loss
    in disbanding it, is there?
[01:24] ---
    I might not look it, but I'm on an
    athletic scholarship for soccer.
[01:28] ---
    I dare you to try taking
    this ball away from me!
[01:37] ---
    I am a demon slayer.
[01:40] ---
    That makes no sense!
[01:47] ---
    What are you doing?!
[01:48] ---
    I am Guardian. I hunt monsters!
[01:56] ---
    Why?! Why can't I see under the skirts?!
[01:59] ---
    Is this because this
    isn't technically Ecstasy?!
[02:03] ---
    What an obvious shot!
[02:08] ---
    Huh?
[02:10] ---
    Extreme vibrations... My other curse.
[02:14] ---
    I don't understand, but I guess my muscles
    are telling me I don't need clothes!
[02:19] ---
    Kengo! Time for a counterattack!
[02:21] ---
    Don't disrespect kendo!
[02:24] ---
    Can you also show some respect to soccer?!
[02:26] ---
    Not on my watch!
[02:31] ---
    My vibrations are still active.
[02:35] ---
    I have to rewrite...
[02:37] ---
    Rewrite my body so that it
    can withstand the vibrations...
[02:39] ---
    And... Do well!
[02:43] ---
    Sunohara! We have to
    work together to stop this!
[02:46] ---
    No! I don't want to!
[02:48] ---
    Friendship! Muscle! Save!
[02:59] ---
    What are you doing on the field?!
[03:03] ---
    The Soccer Club is suspended
    indefinitely due to lewd behavior!
[03:08] ---
    I've always wanted to say this, but why
    do you hate the Soccer Club so much?!
[03:20] ---
    That was a fine presentation indeed.
[03:23] ---
    
[03:25] ---
    
[03:55] ---
    "Illustration by Ishiki"