E9 - Show Off How in Love You Are

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Yuri
    If you're really married,
    then prove it to me.
[00:05] Yuri
    Kiss right here and now.
[00:07] Loid
    If that's all it takes...
[00:09] Yor
    What?!
[00:12] Yor
    A kiss? A kiss?!
[00:15] Yor
    Doesn't that mean... um...
[00:17] Yor
    Oh, yes. I've read somewhere that
    your first kiss tastes like lemons.
[00:22] Yor
    That'll go perfectly with
    this marinated fish.
[00:26] Yor
    Calm down, Yor! Get a hold of yourself!
[00:29] Loid
    Here I go.
[00:30] Yor
    O-O-O-One second, please.
[00:37] Yor
    There is no way I can do this sober.
[00:40] Yor
    Fank you for waiting...
[00:42] Loid
    Uh... right.
[00:45] Loid
    We don't have to do this
    if you don't want to.
[00:47] Yor
    This ish for my sake, as well.
    I will do my besht.
[00:52] Yuri
    What are you two whispering about?!
[00:54] Yuri
    Can you do it or not?!
[00:55] Yuri
    Prove to me that you're
    really a married couple!
[01:00] Yor
    Keep your mouf shut, Yuri.
[01:02] Yor
    We will now show you just how in wuv we are.
[01:07] Yor
    Here I come, darling.
[01:09] Yor
    Now, cwose your eyes.
[01:11] Yuri
    S-Sis!
[01:15] Loid
    Um... Yor?
SIGN    SHOW OFF HOW IN LOVE YOU ARE
[03:01] Yor
    Sis...
[03:02] Yuri
    How lewd!
[03:07] (Flashback) Little Yuri
    Sis!
[03:11] (Flashback) Little Yuri
    Look! I scored the highest
    in my whole class!
[03:14] (Flashback) Yor
    Oh, how wonderful!
[03:17] (Flashback) Yor
    I'll reward you with a kiss.
[03:18] (Flashback) Yor
    Smooch!
[03:22] (Flashback) Little Yuri
    Sis...
[03:23] (Flashback) Little Yuri
    When I grow up...
[03:27] (Flashback) Little Yuri
    I'm gonna marry you.
[03:29] (Flashback) Yor
    Oh, my.
[03:31] (Flashback) Yor
    Then I guess I'll just have
    to wait patiently for you.
[03:34] Yor (Echo)
    ...wait patiently for you.
    ...wait patiently for you.
[03:36] Yor (Echo)
    ...wait patiently for you.
    ...wait patiently for you.
[03:39] Yuri
    You...
[03:40] Yuri
    You can't, Sis!
[03:42] Yuri
    Seeing you kiss another man
    in front of me is just...
[03:46] Yuri
    I won't allow—
[03:48] Yor
    Oh, I knew it...
[03:50] Yor
    I just can't!
[03:51] Yuri
    —itpppppbt!
[03:56] Yor
    No!
[04:04] Anya
    Izzit the end of the world?
[04:11] Yor
    Huh?! Um, Yuri?
[04:18] Yuri
    I see how it is, Sis.
[04:20] Yuri
    You're going to treat me like that just
    because I tried to stop you from kissing him.
[04:24] Yuri
    I guess you just couldn't wait to
    do naughty things with him!
[04:29] Yuri
    I was a fool to test you.
[04:31] Yuri
    Perhaps my feelings were what
    was truly being tested here!
[04:36] Loid
    Um... more importantly, you're bleeding.
[04:39] Yuri
    Loid Forger... You may lay claim
    on my sister's lips for now.
[04:43] Yor
    Wha—
[04:44] Yor
    What are you talking about?!
[04:51] Yuri
    Right... Well, I'll let you
    off the hook for today.
[04:54] Yuri
    But just remember—
[04:55] Loid
    No, really. You're bleeding.
[04:57] Loid
    Is this just normal for the Briars?
[04:59] Yor
    Are you all right, Yuri?
    You're about to fall over.
[05:03] Yuri
    I'm fine.
[05:03] Loid
    Did you really just say that?
[05:04] Yuri
    Well, so are you, Sis.
[05:10] Yor
    Shall I call you a taxi?
[05:12] Yuri
    I'm fine. You're such a worrywart, Sis.
[05:19] Loid
    Whoa, there!
[05:21] Yuri
    Wipe that smirk off your face!
[05:23] Yuri
    Are my failures that amusing to you?!
[05:26] Loid
    Er, no. I was just admiring
    what lovely siblings you are.
[05:30] Loid
    You must have always been
    there for each other.
[05:33] Loid
    Yuri, thank you for protecting
    Yor up until now.
[05:37] Loid
    I'm sure you've been through many hardships.
[05:41] Loid
    I'll also do everything I can to
    be there for her from now on,
[05:45] Loid
    so let's do everything we can
    to make sure Yor is happy.
[05:50] Yuri
    Like I'd ever ask for your help!
[05:53] Yuri
    Forget it! I'm going home!
[05:55] Loid
    Feel free to come over anytime!
[05:58] Loid
    I'm sure that'll make Yor happy.
[06:00] Loid
    You should come when my
    daughter's awake next time.
[06:03] Yor
    Miss Anya was doing everything she
    could to stay up to meet you.
[06:07] Yor
    She's absolutely precious,
    so I hope you'll play with her.
[06:11] Yuri
    I don't need him to invite me! I'll be back!
[06:13] Yuri
    Next time, I'll prove that
    you're tricking my sister!
[06:17] Yor
    I am not being tricked!
[06:19] Yuri
    Now, hear me, Loid Forger.
[06:21] Yuri
    If you make my sister cry even a little bit,
[06:24] Yuri
    I will have you ex—
[06:27] Yuri
    Um... well, you know.
[06:30] Yuri
    Just know that you'll rue the day!
[06:34] Yor
    Be careful getting home, dear!
[06:34] Yuri
    Sis!
[06:36] Yor
    Be mindful of your yelling!
    It'll disturb the neighbors!
[06:38] Loid
    Was he about to say he'd have me executed?
[06:40] Loid
    I should be careful.
[06:49] Loid
    Any wiretaps?
[06:51] Loid
    Looks like we're clear.
[06:53] Loid
    Since he's with the secret police...
[06:55] Loid
    Well, because he's her brother,
    he may just try that.
[06:58] Loid
    I need to be on my guard.
[07:00] Yor
    Loid, thank you very much.
[07:03] Yor
    I'm a bit embarrassed to say so,
[07:05] Yor
    but thank you for welcoming him into
    your family, despite his rudeness.
[07:11] Loid
    Yuri clearly loves you very much, Yor.
[07:15] Loid
    I don't have any family or friends
    I can rely on, other than my daughter,
[07:19] Loid
    so I admit that I was a
    little envious of you two.
[07:21] Yor
    Loid...
[07:23] Loid
    Though my daughter is also
    just part of a pretend family.
[07:25] Loid
    Well, anyway. I'm glad he didn't find
    out about our pretend marriage.
[07:33] Yor
    Yes.
[07:34] Yor
    I'm suddenly very tired,
    now that I'm relieved.
[07:38] Yor
    Why don't we head to bed after we clean up?
[07:42] Loid
    Er, in separate beds, of course!
     I'll change things back!
[07:45] Yor
    R-Right.
[07:47] Anya
    Papa... Pwease save Earth...
[07:52] Yor
    Now, Yuri... You'll make
    me mad if you hit Loid...
[08:02] Loid
    I can't remember the last time
    I felt envious of another.
[08:06] Loid
    I should sleep. I'm sure I'm just exhausted.
[08:09] Loid
    Yet my mission still continues on tomorrow.
[08:19] Yuri
    I beg your pardon.
[08:24] Yuri
    Which way is the station?
[08:26] Passerby A & B
    Get to the hospital first, pal!
[08:33] Anya
    Morning, pwease.
[08:36] Anya
    You seem very green today, Papa.
[08:39] Loid
    Quit talking in your sleep
    and go wash your face.
[08:47] Yor
    Good morning!
[08:52] Yor
    It's too bad you didn't get
    to meet Yuri yesterday.
[08:55] Anya
    Who's that?
[08:57] Yor
    Huh?! But she was so looking
    forward to meeting him!
[09:02] Loid
    Things sure did get lively yesterday.
[09:04] Yor
    I'm very sorry.
[09:06] Loid
    Who'd have thought Yor's
    brother would be like that?
[09:08] Anya
    Oh! Unkie!
[09:10] Loid
    And he's part of the secret police,
    my greatest foe as a spy.
[09:14] Anya
    S-Secret police?!
[09:17] Anya
    What's that?
[09:20] Anya
    "Secret" plus "police"...
[09:24] Anya
    That sounds so exciting!
[09:26] Anya
    Why didn't you introduce me to him?!
[09:29] Anya
    Gimme back the excitement I wasted!
[09:30] Loid
    You wanted to meet him that badly?
[09:33] Loid
    Well, at least the storm has passed for now.
[09:35] Loid
    I need to concentrate on Anya's education.
[09:39] Loid
    Come on, hurry up and eat. You'll be late.
[09:44] Anya
    Om... nom...
[09:46] Yor
    Don't worry, you'll be able to see him soon.
[09:48] Loid
    Has the threat truly passed?
[09:51] Loid
    Yor Briar, whose younger brother
    is a member of the secret police...
[09:54] Loid
    Previously, there was nothing
    suspicious surrounding her.
[09:58] Loid
    She didn't seem to know what her
    brother's true occupation is,
[10:00] Loid
    so my intuition says she's still clear.
[10:02] Loid
    Besides, if she knew her brother
    worked at the State Security Service,
[10:05] Loid
    there'd be no concern over suspicions
    arising about her being single.
[10:08] Loid
    No, it's dangerous to be too certain.
[10:10] Loid
    What if she was just acting and this
    was all a lie to get closer to me?
[10:16] Loid
    Suspect everything, Twilight.
[10:20] Anya
    Papa, Mama is...
[10:23] Loid
    What is it?
[10:26] Anya
    Mama is...
[10:28] Anya
    bad at cooking.
[10:30] Yor
    So it was obvious that I made
     breakfast this morning!
[10:34] Yor
    I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
[10:35] Yor
    I did do my best.
[10:41] Loid
    Ah, by the way, Yor...
[10:43] Yor
    Yes?
[10:44] Loid
    Er, I just...
[10:47] Loid
    I guess putting a listening device
    on her is going too far.
[10:50] Loid
    No, I need to silence any doubts now.
[10:53] Loid
    Even a moment's carelessness
    could mean death.
[10:55] Loid
    It could also mean the lives
    of tens of thousands of people.
[10:59] Loid
    I need to do this to prove Yor's innocence.
[11:01] Loid
    You've got something on your neck.
[11:05] Yor
    Huh? Thank you very much.
[11:08] Yor
    That startled me. I thought he was
    going to give me a kiss goodbye.
[11:11] Anya
    Wha?!
[11:13] Yor
    I s-still haven't forgotten
    about last night...
[11:17] Yor
    I can't kiss or even cook.
[11:21] Yor
    Loid managed to smooth
    things over last night,
[11:24] Yor
    but I'm probably not acting like a proper wife.
[11:29] Yor
    I may be imagining it, but Loid
    seems a bit more distant today.
[11:34] Yor
    Maybe he's gotten sick of
    me being so disappointing.
[11:40] Loid
    I need to be on my guard.
[11:51] Loid
    What's the matter, Anya?
[11:54] Anya
    Mama and Papa need to get along.
[11:59] Loid
    W-Well, we aren't fighting or anything.
[12:02] Yor
    Th-That's right.
[12:04] Loid
    And you make sure you get
    along with your classmates.
[12:08] Anya
    Yep.
[12:11] Loid
    We should get going, too.
[12:12] Yor
    Oh, right.
[12:15] Loid
    Children are so curiously observant at times.
[12:26] First Lieutenant
    Hey, Yuri.
[12:28] First Lieutenant
    Why are you covered in bandages?
[12:30] First Lieutenant
    Didn't you go celebrate your
    sister's wedding yesterday?
[12:34] Yuri
    I don't really remember what happened.
[12:37] First Lieutenant
    You probably got drunk and picked
    a fight with her husband.
[12:40] First Lieutenant
    You really need to quit drinking.
[12:42] Yuri
    Well, I can't let a guy like
    that be with my sister.
[12:44] First Lieutenant
    Was he that disagreeable?
[12:50] Yuri
    I think...
[12:52] Yuri
    he was...
[12:54] Yuri
    a good guy.
[12:56] Yuri
    But con men and spies always
    try to act like good people.
[12:59] Yuri
    That's it! Hopefully he's a spy!
    Then I can throw him in a cell!
[13:02] First Lieutenant
    Calm down. Do you have any proof of this?
[13:04] Yuri
    Shit!
[13:06] Yuri
    I totally forgot to bug their
    living room and bedrooms!
[13:11] Yuri
    Wait, no!
[13:12] Yuri
    If I happened to hear Sis's
    voice in those situations,
[13:15] Yuri
    my heart wouldn't be able to bear it!
[13:17] First Lieutenant
    Did you give yourself those injuries?
[13:23] First Lieutenant
    You need to detach from your sister so
    you can concentrate on your work more.
[13:28] First Lieutenant
    Our job is to capture
[13:30] First Lieutenant
    spies from the West, namely, Twilight.
[13:33] First Lieutenant
    Because that will lead
    to your sister's safety.
[13:38] Yuri
    I know that. For now...
[13:40] Yuri
    Loid Forger, the day you make my sister cry...
[13:52] Camilla
    What's with her?
[13:53] Millie
    She said something like,
    "I'm a failure of a wife."
[13:56] Sharon
    Heya.
[13:57] Millie
    Oh, Sharon.
[14:00] Sharon
    Huh? How do you become a good wife?
[14:04] Sharon
    Are you two not getting along?
[14:06] Yor
    Well, it's not exactly that...
[14:08] Yor
    It's just... This is my first time
    being with a man in general,
[14:08] Yor
    It's just... This is my first time
    being with a man in general,
[14:12] Yor
    so I'm unsure of how to act.
[14:15] Loid
    I was curious when I looked
    into her past connections,
[14:18] Loid
    but I guess Yor has really
    never dated a man before.
[14:22] Yor
    I'm worried that things
    can't go on like this.
[14:26] Yor
    It doesn't help that I can't cook.
[14:29] Loid
    Anya's words really got to her.
[14:32] Loid
    It appears that Yor is trying to seem more
    wifely for the sake of our pretend family.
[14:37] Loid
    No, wait.
[14:39] Loid
    She could also be trying to act like the
    perfect wife to put one over on me.
[14:43] Camilla
    It must be rough when your husband
    is clearly so much better than you.
[14:47] Millie
    Why don't you two just call it quits?
[14:49] Yor
    Er, I'd like to avoid that.
[14:51] Loid
    Yor's relationship with her
    coworkers seems a bit, er, uh...
[14:55] Section Chief
    Hey, you four!
[14:56] Section Chief
    Hey, you four!
[14:57] Section Chief
    Quit yapping and get to work.
[14:59] Camilla
    Gah! It's the section chief.
[15:01] Section Chief
    Say, Yor...
[15:03] Section Chief
    Could you go drop this off
    at the post office for me?
[15:06] Yor
    Yes, sir.
[15:08] Loid
    I guess I'll have to make a move if
    I want to clear the air for good.
[15:19] Yor
    Come to think of it, Loid and
    I have separate bank accounts.
[15:25] Yor
    If I contributed a bit of my
    earnings from my actual job,
[15:29] Yor
    would I be able to help Loid out?
[15:32] Yor
    But I can't make him suspicious of me, either.
[15:35] Yor
    Not to mention, I don't think this
    was really a financial issue...
[15:39] Fake Lieutenant
    You there. I'd like to
    ask you a few questions.
[15:44] Fake Lieutenant
    May we have a bit of your time?
[15:46] Yor
    Th-The secret police!
[15:49] Yor
    D-Did I do something wrong, sir?
[15:51] Yor
    Was I being far too suspicious by
    looking at ads meant for families,
[15:56] Yor
    when I'm clearly lacking as a wife?
[15:57] Yor
    I-I-I'm married!
[16:01] Fake Second Lieutenant
    We're not hitting on you.
[16:04] (Flashback) Franky
    What the hell is this?!
[16:05] (Flashback) Franky
    You call me outta nowhere and
    tell me to dress like this
[16:08] (Flashback) Franky
    so we can question your wife?!
[16:09] (Flashback) Loid
    Just shut up and follow the plan.
    This is all for my mission.
[16:13] (Flashback) Franky
    I've got nothing to do with that!
[16:15] Fake Lieutenant
    We are inspecting the mail.
[16:19] Fake Lieutenant
    You just tried to mail this...
[16:21] Fake Lieutenant
    But it clearly contains a code
     meant for the West.
[16:24] Fake Lieutenant
    Is the sender, Burns, your superior?
[16:27] Yor
    Y-Yes.
[16:28] Fake Second Lieutenant
    What is your name?
[16:30] Yor
    Yor Bri—
[16:31] Yor
    I-It's Yor Forger.
[16:34] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Well, well, well... Yor Forger, eh?
[16:38] Fake Second Lieutenant
    It clearly states your name
    right here as a collaborator!
[16:43] Fake Lieutenant (Loid)
    He's really into this.
[16:45] Fake Lieutenant
    So you're in cahoots.
[16:47] Yor
    I-I have no idea about this.
    This must be some kind of mistake.
[16:50] Fake Second Lieutenant
    You'd be better off if you told the truth.
[16:52] Fake Lieutenant
    Speaking of city hall, someone from the
    finance department was caught the other day.
[16:56] Fake Lieutenant
    Clearly, the corruption within
    has spread far and wide.
[16:59] Fake Second Lieutenant
    I heard he met a pitiful end.
[17:02] Fake Second Lieutenant
    The intense torture got to
    him physically and mentally,
[17:04] Fake Second Lieutenant
    and he apparently offed himself in his cell.
[17:08] Fake Second Lieutenant
    And I heard last month, they caught
    another woman around this chick's age.
[17:12] Fake Second Lieutenant
    You know, that official's secretary.
[17:14] Fake Lieutenant (Loid)
    What kind of characterization is he going for?
[17:16] Fake Lieutenant
    Ah, her.
[17:18] Fake Lieutenant
    She was freed once we found out she
    had family in State Security Service.
[17:21] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Man, talk about an awesome benefit.
[17:23] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Our family members can be let off
    the hook of most allegations.
[17:27] Fake Lieutenant
    Enough talking. You'll be
    coming with us to the station.
[17:31] Loid
    If she's aware that Yuri works
    for the State Security Service,
[17:34] Loid
    this will all be solved as soon
    as she mentions Yuri's name.
[17:37] Loid
    There's no reason for her to be
    secretive to one of his coworkers,
[17:40] Loid
    and if she resists, she'll further
    make us suspicious.
[17:45] Loid
    Come on, Yor. If you're in on this,
    ask your brother for help.
[17:49] Loid
    And if you're not...
[17:51] Yor
    I...
[17:52] Yor
    work hard every day for the
    citizens of this country.
[17:56] Yor
    I would never participate in espionage!
[17:58] Fake Second Lieutenant
    No use playing dumb with us!
[18:00] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Just shut up and come with—
[18:03] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
[18:06] Yor
    I'm quite certain I mentioned
    that I was married.
[18:09] Yor
    Please do not touch me so casually.
[18:11] Fake Lieutenant
    You do realize you're putting your family
    in danger by doing this, don't you?
[18:15] Yor
    My younger brother and husband are both kind
[18:18] Yor
    and upstanding members of society.
[18:20] Yor
    If you ever unjustly harm either of them,
[18:26] Yor
    I frankly do not care if
    I'm dealing with you two.
[18:28] Yor
    I will show no mercy!
[18:35] Fake Lieutenant
    Hey, Second Lieutenant Mop...
[18:37] Fake Lieutenant
    Are you certain about this cipher?
[18:39] Fake Second Lieutenant
    What? Of course I'm—
[18:41] Fake Second Lieutenant
    What the?!
[18:43] Fake Second Lieutenant
    Looking closer, this is clearly
    not the raccoon cipher.
[18:45] Fake Second Lieutenant
    It's the caterpillar cipher!
[18:47] Fake Lieutenant
    If we decode this message...
[18:48] Fake Lieutenant
    This is a letter Burns sent to a
    renowned hemorrhoids doctor.
[18:52] Yor
    Huh?
[18:53] Fake Lieutenant
    I see. He used a cipher because
     he was embarrassed.
[18:56] Fake Lieutenant
    How confusing.
[18:58] Fake Lieutenant
    So, yes, it would appear
    we had the wrong idea.
[19:01] Fake Lieutenant
    Your name isn't on here at all.
[19:03] Fake Lieutenant
    You may leave, but make sure you keep
    quiet about this for Mr. Burns's sake, too.
[19:13] Franky
    Well, that was quite the farce.
[19:16] Franky
    Considering how she acted, it's pretty clear
    she has no connections with the secret police.
[19:22] Franky
    Hey, come on. Don't tell me you
    feel guilty for doubting her.
[19:26] Loid
    I don't.
[19:27] Franky
    I've warned you about this before, but don't
     develop unnecessary feelings for her.
[19:31] Franky
    If you value your life, don't trust anyone.
[19:34] Franky
    We have no other way to survive.
[19:40] Loid
    Somehow, it's extremely infuriating
    to hear those words from that face.
[19:44] Franky
    But you made that face!
[19:46] Franky
    Damn it! I thought I could land
    a few chicks with that face on.
[19:49] Franky
    My precious hot-guy face!
[19:52] Loid
    It's a terrible idea to date
    a woman while deceiving her.
[19:55] Franky
    Did you really just say that?
[20:01] Yor
    Today was terribly nerve-wracking.
[20:04] Yor
    I was almost arrested, meaning not
    only would I be ruined as a wife,
[20:08] Yor
    but I would've destroyed the Forgers.
[20:11] Loid
    Oh, hello, Yor.
[20:13] Yor
    Loid...
[20:14] Loid
    What a coincidence. Why don't
     we go home together?
[20:17] Loid
    Oh? There's something on
    your collar again, Yor.
[20:23] Yor
    I'm so sorry.
[20:25] Yor
    Apparently, I'm such a failure as wife that
    I can't even keep up proper appearances.
[20:30] Loid
    Well, if you ask me, Yor...
[20:33] Loid
    Perhaps many families throughout this
    world are somehow putting on an act,
[20:38] Loid
    thinking, "A wife should be like this,"
    or, "You're supposed to be the parent."
[20:42] Loid
    Of course, I believe that working hard
    to be your best self is admirable.
[20:45] Loid
    But if you dwell on that so
    much that you lose yourself,
[20:49] Loid
    things that should go well might fall apart.
[20:53] Loid
    Many people suffering like that
    come to my hospital all the time.
[20:59] Loid
    Putting on an act all the
    time can become tiring.
[21:04] Yor
    Loid...
[21:07] Loid
    And that's why I want you
    to be as you are, Yor.
[21:10] Loid
    The more confident you seem,
    the less people will suspect anything.
[21:13] Loid
    And I'm sure Anya will be
    happier seeing you smile.
[21:18] Yor
    Thank you very much. I...
[21:22] Yor
    I'm truly grateful that I married you, Loid!
[21:32] Franky
    Don't tell me you feel
    guilty for doubting her.
[21:44] Yor
    What did you just throw away?
[21:45] Loid
    Oh, just the lint I found
    on your collar earlier.
[21:48] Loid
    More importantly,
[21:50] Loid
    we didn't even do anything to celebrate
    our one-year wedding anniversary.
[21:53] Loid
    Why don't we buy some cake on our way home?
[21:55] Yor
    That's a lovely idea!
[22:02] Anya
    Papa, Mama! I have returned!
[22:07] Yor
    Welcome home, Miss Anya.
[22:09] Loid
    What's the matter?
[22:13] Anya
    Papa and Mama are getting along!
[22:18] Loid
    I told you that we were never
    fighting to begin with.
[22:21] Yor
    We have cake, Miss Anya!
[22:23] Anya
    I want some cake!
[22:26] Loid
    Hey, now. You're going to
    bother the people downstairs.
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