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E2 - Mash Burnedead and the Mysterious Maze

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] ---
    The Easton Magic Academy.
[00:03] ---
    A historic and prestigious school
    that has produced

[00:08] ---
    numerous pillars of the magic realm.
[00:10] ---
    Of course, its entrance examination
    is notoriously difficult.

[00:13] ---
    Not even 3% of the applicants
    will be admitted.

[00:16] ---
    Only those with superior magical powers
    will be able to open the gates of Easton.

[00:22] ---
    Only those
    with superior magical powers...

[02:00] ---
    Let's see,
    among this year's applicants are...

[02:05] ---
    CLAUDE LUCCI
[02:06] ---
    A scion of established nobility, and then
    the undersecretary's son from the Bureau of Magic.

[02:11] ---
    All the bigwigs of society, so to speak.
[02:15] ---
    Maintenance of wands
    and reviewing of grimoires.

[02:17] ---
    They're devoting themselves to the exam.
[02:20] ---
    It's only proper to have ambitious candidates
    for a school as prestigious as ours.
[02:21] ---
    HMPH CLANG CLANG HMPH
[02:23] ---
    HMPH CLANG CLANG HMPH
[02:25] ---
    HMPH CLANG CLANG HMPH
[02:26] ---
    HMPH CLANG CLANG HMPH
[02:32] ---
    WHAT
[02:33] ---
    What the...
[02:33] ---
    THE
[02:35] ---
    Huh? What's going on?
[02:36] ---
    We're starting an entrance exam
    for a magic school now.

[02:40] ---
    Why is someone pumping iron?
[02:42] ---
    No, calm down.
    Maybe I'm imagining things.

[02:45] ---
    This is a magic school.
    Slackers like that would never be here.

[02:50] ---
    He's doing the invisible chair
    while reading a fitness book!

[02:50] ---
    BAM
[02:54] ---
    Does he even want to pass this exam?
    At least read some books about magic!

[02:58] ---
    Consumption of protein within 45 minutes
    of training is the most basic of fundamentals.
[03:01] ---
    And he's talking to himself!
[03:03] ---
    And who are those guys behind him?
    They're anything but inconspicuous!

[03:08] ---
    Are you sure this will work?
[03:09] ---
    WHISPER WHISPER
[03:11] ---
    Mash can't use magic.
[03:13] ---
    You don't trust me and my plans?
[03:16] ---
    I made his scar
    indistinguishable from a real one.
[03:19] ---
    I'm sure we'll get a kick outta this.
[03:22] ---
    Oh, well.
[03:23] ---
    Slackers like that
    will fail the exam anyway.

[03:27] ---
    NOM NOM
[03:27] ---
    I wonder what the exam is like.
[03:29] ---
    I have to pass it, no matter
    what it turns out to be.
[03:32] ---
    Greetings!
[03:35] ---
    Welcome to Easton Magic Academy.
[03:43] ---
    I am overseeing today's entrance examination.
    My name is Claude Lucci.
[03:47] ---
    The pleasure's all mine.
[03:49] ---
    C-Claude Lucci!
[03:51] ---
    This year's seventh
    best up-and-coming mage!
[03:54] ---
    He's said to have mastered countless
    advanced spells despite his youth!
[03:59] ---
    How exhilarating.
[04:01] ---
    Praise and worship me even more!
[04:04] ---
    It must've been hot
    coming out of the fire like that.
[04:08] ---
    I'm definitely going to flunk him!
[04:10] ---
    Now, let's start our first exam.
[04:13] ---
    Take your seats.
[04:15] ---
    Seats?
[04:16] ---
    There are no seats!
[04:19] ---
    What?
[04:24] ---
    - Desks just appeared!
    - Amazing!
[04:29] ---
    - Wh-Whoa!
    - I've never seen magic like this!
[04:32] ---
    No wonder they have
    high hopes for this professor!
[04:34] ---
    You could've just taken us to a room
    that was already set up.
[04:38] ---
    I'll kill him.
[04:40] ---
    No matter.
[04:41] ---
    The acceptance rate
    of this exam is three percent.

[04:44] ---
    There's no way
    slackers like him will pass.

[04:48] ---
    You have 30 minutes!
[04:50] ---
    Now, begin!
[04:55] ---
    The test paper...
[04:57] ---
    The questions are squirming around?
[05:01] ---
    That's right, I have enchanted
    the test papers with my magic.

[05:06] ---
    Thus, to pass this exam you need to dispel
    the magic and properly line up the questions.

[05:12] ---
    He'll never pull this off.
[05:14] ---
    Why'd I think
    this would work the other day?
[05:17] ---
    WRIGGLE WRIGGLE
[05:18] ---
    Could you kindly stop moving?
[05:22] ---
    WRIGGLE WRIGGLE
[05:26] ---
    Kindly... stop moving.
[05:31] ---
    What?
[05:32] ---
    I finished.
[05:34] ---
    That guy from earlier...
[05:36] ---
    I'm sure it's just
    some random scribbles...

[05:42] ---
    It's aligned so perfectly.
[05:45] ---
    He's making that boulder float so easily!
[05:50] ---
    Whoa! He's running on water!
[05:53] ---
    From that point on, Mash...
[05:55] ---
    somehow found ways
    to pass the tests.

[06:01] ---
    How can a slacker like that
    still be here?

[06:04] ---
    That tasteless brat
    who makes a mockery of me...

[06:04] ---
    NOM NOM
[06:08] ---
    Then I guess I must...
[06:10] ---
    This is the next test!
[06:12] ---
    Hey, the ground again is...
[06:21] ---
    In the next test, you will solve this maze.
[06:24] ---
    Of course, this is no ordinary maze.
[06:26] ---
    There are various traps set within.
[06:30] ---
    You have 30 minutes!
[06:32] ---
    Reach the goal by the time limit,
    and you pass!
[06:36] ---
    Now, begin!
[06:39] ---
    So I have to get to the goal area?
[06:41] ---
    Sounds pretty easy.
[06:43] ---
    Excuse me!
[06:45] ---
    Can I tag along with you?
[06:48] ---
    LEMON IRVINE
[06:51] ---
    Why?
[06:51] ---
    Huh? Um...
[06:54] ---
    I think it'd be more efficient
    if we worked together.
[06:59] ---
    Makes sense.
[07:01] ---
    Th-Thank you very much!
[07:06] ---
    I wonder what kind of traps
    will be waiting for us?
[07:06] ---
    TP TP TP
[07:09] ---
    CLINK
[07:10] ---
    FACEPLANT
[07:13] ---
    It hurts!
[07:15] ---
    IMPS HAVE APPEARED!
[07:17] ---
    GATHER GATHER
[07:18] ---
    This maze has imps!
[07:20] ---
    Please save me!
[07:23] ---
    HANDLIKE-SOMETHINGS HAVE APPEARED!
[07:24] ---
    Th-This ground is trying to grab us!
[07:29] ---
    Don't leave me behind!
[07:36] ---
    Please wait.
[07:38] ---
    Please don't leave me behind!
[07:44] ---
    What was that about efficiency?
[07:49] ---
    We have to hurry.
[07:52] ---
    Levios Cuffus!
[07:57] ---
    What are these?
[07:59] ---
    I'm sorry I deceived you
    this whole time.
[08:02] ---
    There's a certain reason
    I have to keep you away from the goal.
[08:05] ---
    What reason?
[08:07] ---
    I-I don't want to tell you,
    that's why it's a certain reason!
[08:11] ---
    So I've been deceived?
[08:13] ---
    That's useless.
    Human strength can't break...
[08:16] ---
    I'm sorry...
[08:19] ---
    but I have my own certain reason, too.
[08:23] ---
    Later.
[08:26] ---
    STARE...
[08:28] ---
    Th-This is bad!
    I have to chase and stop him.
[08:32] ---
    Four legs in the morning.
[08:37] ---
    Two legs in the afternoon,
    and three legs at night.
[08:43] ---
    What is this creature?
[08:45] ---
    This is totally
    one of the dangerous ones.
[08:50] ---
    It's only a test.
    I'll use my magic and...

[08:59] ---
    Answer my riddle.
[09:03] ---
    Oh no. My knees gave out.
[09:06] ---
    Bad, really bad. This is a riddle?
[09:08] ---
    What's the answer?
[09:10] ---
    Four legs in the morning,
    two at noon, three at night...

[09:15] ---
    Oh, this sucks. I'm panicking
    and I can't think straight!

[09:19] ---
    Time's up. Thou shalt be punished.
[09:25] ---
    Help...
[09:27] ---
    That's not right.
[09:29] ---
    This truly is punishment
    for selfishly deceiving others.

[09:35] ---
    I'm so terrible.
[09:38] ---
    I'm sorry, Mushroom Head.
[09:45] ---
    Such a creature...
[09:47] ---
    can't possibly exist.
[09:55] ---
    Wh-Why did you bother
    to come back and save me?
[09:59] ---
    Well...
[10:01] ---
    If your reason was similar to mine,
    I'd kinda feel sorry for you.
[10:09] ---
    But it looks like
    we won't make it in time from here.
[10:14] ---
    How do you think
    I came here in an instant?
[10:22] ---
    Time is almost up.
[10:24] ---
    Multiple traps
    and the guardian of the labyrinth...

[10:26] ---
    And the student I recruited to stop him.
[10:29] ---
    Since I put in this much effort,
    I'm sure he...

[10:33] ---
    Hey, what's with that loud noise?
[10:35] ---
    Sounds like something is breaking!
[10:37] ---
    Th-There's no way.
[10:39] ---
    These walls are one meter thick
    and are impervious to all magic.

[10:46] ---
    The walls!
[10:53] ---
    H-He trudged straight outta there!
[11:00] ---
    Quite a curious young man.
[11:08] ---
    Is that allowed?
    Can he really do that?
[11:10] ---
    There's no way he can!
[11:11] ---
    That's cheating!
[11:13] ---
    Gimme a break!
[11:15] ---
    Go home! Go home! Go home!
[11:21] ---
    SLUMP
[11:22] ---
    I want to go home.
[11:24] ---
    That's absurd.
    It's no longer a labyrinth!
[11:27] ---
    Indeed.
[11:28] ---
    You're supposed to get lost
    in a maze before exiting!
[11:30] ---
    Good point.
[11:31] ---
    What is a maze for you?
[11:33] ---
    Philosophy.
[11:34] ---
    Go home! Go home! Go home!
[11:38] ---
    P-Please stop! It wasn't his fault!
[11:43] ---
    Stop it!
[11:45] ---
    If you say anything, you'll regret it!
[11:46] ---
    I can still reconsider that promise for now.
[11:49] ---
    - I was...
    - Hey!
[11:51] ---
    I was intentionally getting in his way
    so he wouldn't reach the goal.
[11:55] ---
    Professor Lucci asked me to.
[11:59] ---
    He told me he would pass me
    if I got in his way.
[12:03] ---
    My family is poor, and I desperately
    wanted to be accepted for their sake.
[12:08] ---
    But he still saved me,
    and then said to me,
[12:13] ---
    BLUSH
[12:13] ---
    "Please marry me"!
[12:15] ---
    No, I didn't say that.
[12:17] ---
    I mean...
[12:19] ---
    If you're injured, I can piggyback you.
[12:21] ---
    Huh? Wait, that means...
[12:24] ---
    I'm a burden, you know?
[12:25] ---
    (EMOTIONAL) BURDEN
[12:27] ---
    I don't really mind burdens at all.
[12:28] ---
    (PHYSICAL) BURDEN
[12:31] ---
    AWWWW
[12:32] ---
    Don't be so bashful.
[12:32] ---
    FLUSTER FLUSTER
[12:34] ---
    I know how you really feel.
[12:38] ---
    It was really great. Yeah.
[12:41] ---
    No, I totally didn't say that.
[12:45] ---
    That's right. What about it?
[12:47] ---
    I'm the examiner.
[12:49] ---
    What's bad about trying
    to fail students I don't like?
[12:53] ---
    A cheeky brat and a pauper girl.
[12:56] ---
    I reached out thinking even scum can be
    useful, but you bit the hand that fed you.
[13:02] ---
    Is your stupidity
    inherited from your parents?
[13:05] ---
    No wonder you have a miserable life.
[13:12] ---
    I'm failing you both.
[13:15] ---
    If you want to complain,
    then challenge the decision.
[13:17] ---
    Challenge me,
    a Magus Cum Laude Professor!
[13:21] ---
    Of course, that's only if you dare!
[13:29] ---
    That's going too far, Professor.
[13:31] ---
    What?
[13:33] ---
    Wow. He broke that wand.
[13:36] ---
    That's just the type of kid he is, huh?
[13:39] ---
    I kinda feel sorry for him.
[13:41] ---
    Shut up! Why would I even—
[13:43] ---
    Silence!
[13:48] ---
    Headmaster Wahlberg.
[13:50] ---
    We will now begin the final interviews.
[13:53] ---
    From this point on,
    I will take charge of the examination.
[13:57] ---
    Headmaster, why are you here?
[14:00] ---
    Lucci.
[14:02] ---
    See me in my office after this.
[14:05] ---
    A-As you wish.
[14:09] ---
    Now, let's start with our first applicant.
[14:19] ---
    We will now begin the final interview
    for Mash Burnedead.
[14:25] ---
    Thank you for having me.
[14:27] ---
    First, let's hear
    why you chose our academy.
[14:38] ---
    To live in peace with my family.
[14:42] ---
    That's not an answer.
[14:44] ---
    What does that mean?
[14:45] ---
    It's fine.
[14:47] ---
    Next question.
[14:49] ---
    Is it true that you saved a girl in the maze test,
    although you didn't have time to?
[14:56] ---
    I guess so.
[14:57] ---
    What made you do so,
    even by risking to fail the test?
[15:03] ---
    I kinda felt like I would regret it.
[15:08] ---
    You seem to be the type
    who acts before thinking.
[15:13] ---
    You never considered
    that the sphinx might be stronger,
[15:16] ---
    or that you may not be able
    to break the walls?
[15:22] ---
    Well, even if I considered,
    it still had to be done.
[15:28] ---
    Extremely amusing.
[15:30] ---
    But you can only say that because
    you don't understand the ways of the world yet.
[15:36] ---
    Many creatures that are stronger
    than you exist in this world.
[15:41] ---
    If you were to face something
    that overwhelmingly outpowers you,
[15:45] ---
    would you still be able
    to take the same course of action?
[15:51] ---
    Even if you were...
[15:59] ---
    facing me?
[16:03] ---
    What immense magical power.
[16:06] ---
    And this spell!
[16:12] ---
    What is this?
[16:14] ---
    This is an ancient spell that transfers the soul
    of the target's most cherished one into a doll.
[16:24] ---
    SLUMP
[16:24] ---
    Gramps?
[16:25] ---
    What's wrong? Gramps! Hey!
[16:28] ---
    Of course, that's not all.
[16:31] ---
    If I were to stab a knife
    into the soulful doll...
[16:35] ---
    that being would never return.
[16:44] ---
    Didn't I already tell you?
[16:46] ---
    I am immensely more powerful than you.
[16:50] ---
    You can't do anything in your current state.
[16:54] ---
    And in a situation like this,
    what would you...
[17:06] ---
    You can't keep something
    this huge out forever.
[17:11] ---
    This is an endurance contest, right?
[17:19] ---
    Power can be used to harm or to help.
[17:24] ---
    It all depends
    on the wielder of that power.
[17:28] ---
    That is the reason why I put emphasis...
[17:32] ---
    on protecting the weak,
    and regulating the strong.
[17:36] ---
    Noblesse Oblige.
    One's capacity as a powerful being.
[17:43] ---
    And according to my observations,
    you are a human who possesses that capacity.
[17:58] ---
    My apologies.
[18:00] ---
    I was literally testing you.
[18:03] ---
    I had no intention of that nature.
[18:07] ---
    Don't worry about it.
[18:11] ---
    What is it?
[18:13] ---
    What you asked earlier, Headmaster.
[18:15] ---
    The answer to the question
    "If I had to face the Headmaster..."
[18:21] ---
    If it comes to that,
    I'd knock the stuffing out of you...
[18:23] ---
    with my fist.
[18:27] ---
    What insolence!
[18:28] ---
    Are you insane?
[18:33] ---
    Welcome to Easton Magic Academy.
[18:39] ---
    Are you okay, old man?
[18:41] ---
    Be gentle with me.
[18:43] ---
    And so, a lot of things happened.
[18:46] ---
    But Mash Burnedead passed the entrance exam
    for Easton Magic Academy.

[18:52] ---
    Today, we will be learning one of the most
    basic of spells, the lock-opening spell.
[18:57] ---
    You must imagine opening the lock
    as you infuse it with magic energy.
[19:00] ---
    Opti Ars.
[19:04] ---
    Now, let's actually try it.
[19:10] ---
    Professor. I opened it.
[19:14] ---
    Why you little, that's not...
    That's not it at all, damn it!
[19:19] ---
    This is a magic school, you know?
[19:21] ---
    A place where you learn magic!
[19:23] ---
    Well, I...
[19:26] ---
    I'm not good with magic and the like.
[19:28] ---
    Why are you even here?
[19:31] ---
    Looks like I have a hard path ahead.
[19:33] ---
    Why are you sounding like
    it's not your business?
[19:35] ---
    What kind of nerves do you have?
[19:37] ---
    What's with this year's transfers?
[19:40] ---
    There's someone who's clearly bad news!
[19:43] ---
    God is dead.
[19:45] ---
    Where the hell did that come from?
    Seriously creepy!
[19:45] ---
    I definitely don't want to be around him.
[19:48] ---
    Where are you looking at now?
[19:49] ---
    Listen! Listen to what others have to say!
[19:55] ---
    Since this is a boarding school...
[19:57] ---
    I really don't want to be roommates
    with people like that.

[20:01] ---
    Let's see, my room...
[20:05] ---
    Huh, wait...
[20:06] ---
    The door...
[20:14] ---
    I'm Finn Ames.
    Nice to be rooming with you.
[20:17] ---
    FINN AMES
[20:20] ---
    I'm Mash Burnedead.
[20:22] ---
    I don't really know a lot, so I might
    cause trouble, but it's nice to room with you.
[20:27] ---
    Huh? He's surprisingly normal?
[20:30] ---
    And this is Kevin.
[20:33] ---
    This one's Mike.
[20:35] ---
    This guy names his muscles! Freaky!
    And when did he change clothes?

[20:35] ---
    Down here are Tom and Kim.
    Over here are Yamada, Koji, and Satomi.
[20:41] ---
    W-Well, you can ask me
    anything you don't know.
[20:45] ---
    The dorm pairs up transfers and continuing
    students together as roommates.
[20:50] ---
    It's customary to help each other out.
[20:53] ---
    I see.
[20:54] ---
    Be nice for now.
[20:56] ---
    Nice, and distant.
[20:58] ---
    This is for a peaceful school life.
[21:02] ---
    Can I ask you one thing?
[21:03] ---
    Sure.
[21:04] ---
    How do you get to be
    the academy's "Divine Visionary"?
[21:08] ---
    Oh, a Divine Visionary?
[21:11] ---
    You have to collect gold coins.
[21:13] ---
    Tests, coursework, extracurriculars, school life.
    We're evaluated on everything.
[21:18] ---
    Based on the evaluations, you're given
    coins of gold, silver, or bronze.
[21:23] ---
    Regardless of coins earned,
[21:25] ---
    if you can't keep your grades up
    each semester, you'll be expelled.
[21:30] ---
    I had a vague feeling,
    but this is really brutal.
[21:35] ---
    Looks like he'll be expelled real quick.
[21:37] ---
    So that's why we're all desperate.
[21:39] ---
    Including me, of course.
[21:41] ---
    Best of luck to you, too.
[21:43] ---
    Finn made sure not to say,
    "Let's do our best together."

[21:47] ---
    You're a great guy.
[21:49] ---
    And Mash was very simple.
[21:52] ---
    You want a cream puff?
[21:54] ---
    Huh? Where did you pull those out of?
[21:56] ---
    I'll take one, though.
[21:59] ---
    Will Mash with no magical powers
    really be able to become the Divine Visionary?

[22:00] ---
    NOM NOM
[23:35] ---
    NEXT EPISODE
    MASH BURNEDEAD AND THE BALEFUL BULLY