3 - Fire Dragon Kong

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[00:17] ---
    I am the one!
[00:20] ---
    Push on ahead as you like, yeah
[00:24] ---
    Oh, listen closely to me
[00:28] ---
    and speak the name
    of the desert god
[00:32] ---
    Clench your teeth
[00:36] ---
    When your heart starts
    to tremble with heat...
[00:40] ---
    Stop it! It'll only
    bring destruction
[00:46] ---
    Let's do it, oh, angel
[00:50] ---
    Now is the time to
    stand up and be strong
[00:54] ---
    A sad history, a
    hidden big story
[00:59] ---
    That's the mystery
[01:02] ---
    There's nothing certain
    about what tomorrow holds
[01:10] ---
    so living through this moment
[01:15] ---
    is my mission alone
[01:34] ---
    An M40A1 sniper rifle!
[01:36] ---
    .308 caliber!
[01:38] ---
    FRP stock!
[01:39] ---
    Lever-mount Unertl 10x scope!
[01:42] ---
    A 120% fully-accurate reproduction!
[01:45] ---
    225,000 yen...
[01:49] ---
    If only I had one of these...!
[01:52] ---
    Crap! It's a debt collector!
[01:56] ---
    Hold on. The deadline's still a ways off...
[01:59] ---
    Who's bothering me this late at--
[02:01] ---
    Hello!
[02:03] ---
    These boobs...!
[02:04] ---
    Asagiri Junko!
[02:08] ---
    What...?!
[02:11] ---
    You're a kid!
[02:13] ---
    "Mizuno Kanta"
[02:14] ---
    His name is Mizuno Kanta.
[02:16] ---
    A freelance handyman.
[02:17] ---
    What's your problem?!
[02:20] ---
    I just can't believe the great
    Sunabouzu is actually a kid!
[02:25] ---
    Oh, crap! My secret identity...!
[02:28] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[02:28] ---
    People have recently started
    referring to him as the Sunabouzu,
[02:32] ---
    and he is now a rather popular figure.
[02:35] ---
    So why are you here?!
[02:37] ---
    Work. I came to hire you.
[02:39] ---
    Get lost!
[02:40] ---
    I know you're up to your
    head in debt at the moment.
[02:44] ---
    How do you know that?!
[02:47] ---
    "Debt King"
[02:47] ---
    He screwed up two jobs and wound
    up taking on others' debts.
[02:51] ---
    Women were involved both times.
[02:54] ---
    I heard from the guild head.
[02:56] ---
    That old geezer...!
[02:58] ---
    Forget that; how dare
    you use me back then?!
[03:02] ---
    Quit touching me!
[03:10] ---
    So supple...!
[03:14] ---
    That'll cost you 10,000 yen.
[03:16] ---
    You lost to me. So quit
    sulking, it's pathetic!
[03:21] ---
    So, how much do you owe?
[03:23] ---
    1,693,452 yen, but...
[03:29] ---
    --3 million yen.
[03:30] ---
    --I'll pay you 6 million.
[03:32] ---
    I'll do it.
[03:34] ---
    Please allow me to do it.
[03:44] ---
    So supple...!
[03:46] ---
    Six million yen...
[03:48] ---
    I'll pay off my debt and buy an M40...
[03:52] ---
    What else should I buy?
    Maybe I'll put it in savings?
[03:57] ---
    Oh! So supple!
[04:07] ---
    That night, Mizuno Kanta had
    a very pleasurable dream.
[04:13] ---
    However...!
[04:15] ---
    "Tank and Machine Guns"
[04:22] ---
    Hey, Sunabouzu! Nobody ever
    mentioned taking on that monster!
[04:27] ---
    And that chick is your acquaintance!
    This's all your fault!
[04:32] ---
    Oh, get real! You know you
    fell for her charms, too!
[04:37] ---
    There it is...!
[04:39] ---
    It's unstoppable!
[04:41] ---
    They say it streaks through
    the desert like lightning
[04:43] ---
    and scorches those who stand in
    its way into a boneless crisp...!
[04:48] ---
    The Great Kanto Desert's most heavily
    armed and armored bank transport truck!
[04:54] ---
    A killing machine that's returned
    from the centuries-old Hell...!
[05:00] ---
    The Fire Dragon Kong...
[05:05] ---
    Do you actually think you can
    escape, Asagiri Junko-san?
[05:09] ---
    Those are some rather dependable
    bodyguards you've hired...
[05:15] ---
    Misjudge these four and
    you'll be in a world of hurt!
[05:18] ---
    Nuh uh! Nuh uh! No hurt at all!
[05:21] ---
    These four are men of the desert
    with great hidden potential!
[05:27] ---
    No we aren't!
[05:29] ---
    Then show me.
[05:32] ---
    No...! Don't!
[05:38] ---
    That get him?!
[05:40] ---
    You think?
[05:41] ---
    Ain't no withstanding a 40-millimeter...
[05:43] ---
    What're you doing?!
[05:45] ---
    Start running already!
[05:56] ---
    It's no use running.
[05:58] ---
    Do you intend on never
    handing the key over?
[06:01] ---
    That's not why I'm running
    all over the place!
[06:04] ---
    Key...?!
[06:04] ---
    "Handyman"
[06:05] ---
    Hey, Haruo!
[06:06] ---
    What...?!
[06:09] ---
    Haruo!
[06:10] ---
    Haruo!
[06:11] ---
    Damn it!
[06:12] ---
    Damn you, Sunabouzu!
[06:16] ---
    What the heck did you do?!
[06:18] ---
    You must've screwed over someone
    big to get the Kong after you!
[06:22] ---
    Listen! I'm allowed to cancel
    contracts for crime-related jobs!
[06:27] ---
    It's true that he's super rich,
    but this is entirely a private dispute.
[06:33] ---
    Dammit! I'd turn you down
    if I weren't in debt...!
[06:38] ---
    Damn you for showing off
    your giant boobies...!
[06:42] ---
    Eh? What?
[06:43] ---
    I don't like desert suits or helmets
    so I figured I'd go without
[06:47] ---
    during the morning...
[06:49] ---
    Liar! You know you showed them on purpose!
[06:53] ---
    I did not!
[06:59] ---
    Damn you! How dare you use us as a decoy!
[07:02] ---
    Don't be dumb!
[07:03] ---
    If that were the case, I'd have been
    long gone instead of here flirting!
[07:08] ---
    He won't kill us!
[07:11] ---
    What?!
[07:11] ---
    We're done for!
[07:13] ---
    We're so dead!
[07:15] ---
    Not good! It's just a matter of time!
[07:19] ---
    No choice...!
[07:20] ---
    "Light" "Smoke"
[07:21] ---
    Shut your eyes!
[07:25] ---
    What the...?!
[07:26] ---
    An ultra-hot flash bomb
    and iron filing smoke bomb!
[07:29] ---
    It's screwed up all our scanners!
[07:32] ---
    Huh? It's just a smoke screen...!
[07:35] ---
    Stop! What are you--
[07:37] ---
    Where are they?!
[07:38] ---
    They're gone!
[07:41] ---
    There they are!
[07:42] ---
    No! That dried-up well is full of tunnels!
[07:46] ---
    Don't let 'em down it!
[07:48] ---
    They went down it.
[07:49] ---
    Dimwits!
[07:51] ---
    What the hell? A balloon...?
[07:54] ---
    There's nobody in the well!
[07:56] ---
    Come to think of it, that notorious
    Sunabouzu was with them...
[08:00] ---
    We've been fooled.
[08:01] ---
    After them! To the east!
[08:03] ---
    Yes, sir!
[08:18] ---
    They finally left...
[08:20] ---
    You freaked me out by
    suddenly dumping sand on me!
[08:24] ---
    I couldn't have completely blinded the Kong
[08:26] ---
    with just one person's
    supply of smoke bombs...
[08:29] ---
    What a lame plan! What if the
    Kong had kept sitting there?!
[08:35] ---
    Dunno.
[08:38] ---
    Hey, why are we taking a long way?!
[08:41] ---
    Hovercrafts don't handle
    cluttered terrain well.
[08:46] ---
    Why didn't you tell us up front
    we'd be dealing with the Kong?!
[08:49] ---
    Because you wouldn't have accepted the job!
[08:51] ---
    Duh!
[08:53] ---
    Geez... Today's the horrible
    sequel to this morning...!
[08:57] ---
    Six million...!
[09:00] ---
    You're the Kawaguchi
    Machine Gun Brothers...!
[09:03] ---
    And you're the Sunabouzu!
[09:05] ---
    What're you doing here?!
[09:07] ---
    Yeah! Who needs your nasty ol'
    face first thing in the morning?!
[09:11] ---
    That's my line!
[09:13] ---
    Sorry! Been waiting long?
[09:15] ---
    That's all right! Just got here--
[09:19] ---
    Huh?! Don't tell me she hired you, too...?
[09:22] ---
    Eh?! You too...?!
[09:23] ---
    We're all friends now!
[09:25] ---
    Now let's work together and do our best!
[09:33] ---
    Eh?!
[09:35] ---
    Damn, this sucks...
[09:38] ---
    I had no idea you were
    childhood friends...!
[09:42] ---
    B-but, Akio-niichan...!
[09:45] ---
    Yeah...
[09:46] ---
    S-so big...
[09:48] ---
    If only ol' Natsuko could take after her...
[09:53] ---
    Say, what'd you mean when
    you said he won't kill us?
[09:59] ---
    Isn't it obvious? They said it themselves.
[10:03] ---
    OK, Junko-san.
[10:04] ---
    How about you tell us about that
    key in your intense cleavage there?
[10:11] ---
    Those guys want it bad.
    So they can't kill us.
[10:16] ---
    The key'd be toast if they screwed up.
[10:19] ---
    So out with the details!
[10:22] ---
    What is that key?
    Why is the Kong after you?
[10:26] ---
    Alright.
[10:27] ---
    Remember this?
[10:29] ---
    It's the treasure I swiped
    from you in Episode 1.
[10:32] ---
    It actually belongs to the wife
    of Okawa Taiko, of Okawa Products.
[10:37] ---
    As you know, my armored
    truck was attacked recently.
[10:40] ---
    Among its contents was a key
    to a jewelry box your mom treasured.
[10:46] ---
    The one who brings it back
    to me will be my heir.
[10:50] ---
    There you have it.
[10:51] ---
    And our client in Episode 1 was
    his first son, Okawa Koichi.
[10:56] ---
    Next episode, it was his
    second son, Okawa Koji.
[11:00] ---
    I was suddenly like, "Whoa,
    I can make some big money!"
[11:03] ---
    So I secretly contacted the first
    son and negotiated with the second.
[11:07] ---
    I really worked my butt off
    during Episode 2!
[11:10] ---
    A bidding war, basically?
[11:13] ---
    Yep! But I guess I went a little too far,
[11:16] ---
    because the second son got
    pissed and got into the Kong...
[11:19] ---
    Anyways, if we can just get out
    of the second son's territory
[11:23] ---
    and get to the first son's
    East Oasis, we'll have won!
[11:29] ---
    So, you alright with that?
[11:32] ---
    Uhh...
[11:34] ---
    I suppose we'll manage. I do have a plan...
[11:38] ---
    Really?! Awesome! So how do
    we take care of the Kong?!
[11:42] ---
    Are you crazy! We can't kill that thing!
[11:45] ---
    We're just gonna run like hell!
[11:48] ---
    Oh, geez.
[11:49] ---
    Way to go, Sunabouzu. As petty as always.
[11:52] ---
    Only the stupidest and dumbest
    moron of the Great Kanto Desert
[11:56] ---
    would ever think of crushing that thing...!
[12:29] ---
    Sunabouzu...!
[12:38] ---
    Ghost of the Desert, my butt!
    What a let-down!
[12:42] ---
    He's always been that way. All he
    ever did was disappoint people...
[12:48] ---
    Not to mention being rude and filthy...!
[12:50] ---
    He was puny and stupid
    and idiotic and pathetic...
[12:55] ---
    Your badmouthing-dead-people convention...
[12:57] ---
    ...is now over.
[13:01] ---
    Unkempt desert scum.
    How dare you resist me.
[13:07] ---
    Don't expect to die peacefully.
[13:09] ---
    I'll start by tearing your clothes off.
[13:13] ---
    Retrieve the key!
[13:14] ---
    With pleasure!
[13:19] ---
    Boobie Lady...!
[13:30] ---
    Hiro-kun fell off the cliff!
[13:38] ---
    You're dead...!
[13:41] ---
    You are so dead!
[13:46] ---
    I hurt all over...
[13:48] ---
    Oh, you're alive?!
[13:50] ---
    You're as stubborn as always...!
[13:52] ---
    Even I thought I died...!
[13:55] ---
    Thanks to you, my treasures
    all got busted up...!
[14:00] ---
    My newly-repaired Type Zero Helmet...
[14:02] ---
    My lifeline in the desert -
    my Cherry Blossom Air Cooler...
[14:06] ---
    My old man's Winchester...!
[14:09] ---
    Freeze! Hands up! How dare
    you hurt Hiro-kun...!
[14:14] ---
    You damn rich jerk-off!
    You'll pay for this!
[14:23] ---
    Stop! What're you doing, you idiot?!
[14:26] ---
    Ow...!
[14:28] ---
    What the heck are they doin'...?
[14:38] ---
    What are you doing, you perv?!
[14:52] ---
    My key...!
[14:55] ---
    Want this key? Then come catch me!
[15:04] ---
    It's no use! We can't see him!
[15:06] ---
    After him! Into the Kong!
[15:09] ---
    Ahh!
[15:10] ---
    What is it?!
[15:10] ---
    The girl and three brothers escaped too!
[15:13] ---
    What?!
[15:15] ---
    Damn Kanta went completely
    mental! This ain't good!
[15:20] ---
    How's that?!
[15:21] ---
    There's no tellin' what he'll
    do when he's like that!
[15:25] ---
    He might try to die
     in battle to get revenge!
[15:29] ---
    Listen, Akio, Haruo! Get the key
    back, even if you gotta kill him!
[15:33] ---
    Sounds good to me!
[15:43] ---
    Bastard! I'll teach you...!
[15:47] ---
    You idiot! He has the key!
    Retrieve it intact!
[15:52] ---
    He isn't wearing a mask! I'll use gas!
[15:59] ---
    Crap!
[16:02] ---
    Doesn't look like he
    stands a chance at all...
[16:05] ---
    Moron...
[16:11] ---
    Left! Left!
[16:14] ---
    Right! Right!
[16:25] ---
    Yikes...!
[16:27] ---
    Damn punk is scurrying all over the place!
[16:30] ---
    Hey, doesn't it seem strange?
[16:32] ---
    Strange how?
[16:32] ---
    He's choosing paths the Kong
    can pass through...
[16:37] ---
    Is he leading us on?
[16:39] ---
    What the hell's he up to?!
[16:42] ---
    He's totally flipped out.
[16:44] ---
    Damn it!
[16:45] ---
    We could make mincemeat outta
    him if he didn't have the key!
[16:50] ---
    He's shootin' pellets again!
    Is he mocking us?!
[17:05] ---
    Run him over!
[17:07] ---
    Eh? But the key...!
[17:09] ---
    It's better than blasting it to bits!
[17:12] ---
    And if it breaks, it's still a draw!
[17:14] ---
    Go!
[17:15] ---
    He's red...!
[17:23] ---
    What's this...?!
[17:24] ---
    A cliff!
[17:27] ---
    Idiots!
[17:32] ---
    Ow...!
[17:33] ---
    Don't move!
[17:38] ---
    Alright, Kanta! Are you insane,
    takin' on the Kong like that?!
[17:43] ---
    Give me back my key!
[17:45] ---
    M-make with the key!
[17:47] ---
    No funny moves!
[17:49] ---
    Bastards...
[17:58] ---
    Stay outta this! I'm enjoying myself...!
[18:02] ---
    If the Kong gets the best
    of me, this key'll go boom!
[18:06] ---
    Sunabouzu...?
[18:08] ---
    Wouldn't you prefer that
    over being tortured to death, too?!
[18:15] ---
    Or--
[18:16] ---
    --should I pull the pin right here?
[18:27] ---
    Hey, he left.
[18:29] ---
    This is bad. He'll totally do it.
[18:33] ---
    Yeah. Definitely.
[18:34] ---
    Kanta's thrown his share of grenades
    at us, so we know all too well...
[18:41] ---
    Talk about close childhood friends...
[18:44] ---
    Our only real option is to kill him...
[18:47] ---
    Hello, Hiro-kun.
[18:49] ---
    Oh, hello.
[18:50] ---
    Want some help?
[18:51] ---
    No thanks. I'm gonna kill
    the Sunabouzu myself.
[18:54] ---
    And then?
[18:55] ---
    And then take the key
    to Koji-san, of course.
[18:59] ---
    So you're a spy for the eldest son?
[19:02] ---
    Yeah, you could say that.
[19:04] ---
    Would this be the key?
[19:06] ---
    Yeah, that's it!
[19:11] ---
    Where are you, Sunabouzu?!
[19:15] ---
    There he is!
[19:17] ---
    After him! He must be run over!
[19:21] ---
    Don't think you can escape, Sunabouzu!
[19:26] ---
    Flatten him!
[19:32] ---
    Hiro-kun...?
[19:36] ---
    So, where did he go?
[19:40] ---
    What?
[19:46] ---
    You're the first one to ever make
    such a complete fool out of me...
[19:53] ---
    ...Sunabouzu!
[19:58] ---
    Eh?!
[19:58] ---
    What is it?!
[20:01] ---
    It's Sunabouzu...!
[20:03] ---
    Oh, crap! He really is gonna die fighting!
[20:05] ---
    Oh no! My key...!
[20:08] ---
    It's no use! It's too late!
[20:10] ---
    But...! But...! But...!
[20:13] ---
    My final shot...
[20:15] ---
    My magazine's screwed up,
    so there's no 2nd shot.
[20:18] ---
    You know, Kong-san.
[20:20] ---
    You really are the biggest and
    mightiest in the Great Kanto Desert.
[20:24] ---
    I doubt there's anything
    bigger in this desert...!
[20:28] ---
    What?!
[20:31] ---
    So...
[20:42] ---
    So I doubt you've ever been
    attacked from directly above.
[20:48] ---
    Such recklessness...!
[20:51] ---
    Is this the real you, Sunabouzu,
    Ghost of the Desert...?!
[20:56] ---
    The mighty Kong...!
[20:59] ---
    My key...!
[21:01] ---
    Kanta was a dimwit after all...
[21:04] ---
    Huh...?
[21:06] ---
    Whoa, he's alive!
[21:08] ---
    Does that mean my key is too?!
[21:10] ---
    It's finally your guys' turn,
    Machine Gun Brothers!
[21:17] ---
    Eat this!
[21:19] ---
    Come on out!
[21:23] ---
    Everyone evacuate!
[21:25] ---
    Yeah, right!
[21:26] ---
    We'd be Swiss cheese out there!
[21:28] ---
    But if this keeps up...!
[21:32] ---
    The Kong was too big to chase
    a rat into a narrow place,
[21:37] ---
    and its armaments too powerful.
[21:40] ---
    The only place it can reign
    supreme is in the wide-ass desert.
[21:45] ---
    That'll teach ya to be arrogant...
[21:49] ---
    And so the five somehow managed
    to acquire a great sum of money.
[21:56] ---
    The moral of the day:
[21:58] ---
    Not all girls with huge
    knockers are airheads.
[22:01] ---
    Today was another hot day
    in the Great Kanto Desert...
[22:06] ---
    Wow! You're the first person
    to ever beat the Kong...
[22:12] ---
    ...Ghost of the Desert, Sunabouzu!
[22:17] ---
    I guess!
[22:19] ---
    Now let me rub your breasts!
[22:22] ---
    Won't he just die already...?
[22:39] ---
    One circle... Two circles...
[22:47] ---
    One more big circle...
[22:51] ---
    A billowing raincoat...
    (It's a cape!)
[22:55] ---
    Oh, let's not forget
    the sunshade now...
[23:00] ---
    (His heart is pitch black!
    His heart is pitch black!)
[23:06] ---
    Give him a Winchester and
    suddenly you have Sunabouzu!
[23:22] ---
    He'll run again
    today! (Run again)
[23:25] ---
    Through the desert!
    (Even if forced to do jobs)
[23:29] ---
    He'll go forth again tomorrow!
    (Go forth again)
[23:33] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:35] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:37] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady!)
[23:39] ---
    He'll rush on ahead, life
    on the line! Rush on ahead!
[23:57] ---
    Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabouzu here!
[23:59] ---
    Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabouzu here!
[23:59] ---
    That boob lady sure was smart!
    Who'll the next one be?!
[24:02] ---
    
[24:02] ---
    -- Fuyuo will!
    -- Akio will!
[24:04] ---
    -- Minami Haruo will! (famous singer)
    -- Like hell, he will!
[24:07] ---
    On the next Sunabouzu -
    Sniping and Footsteps
[24:09] ---
    Miss it and it's electric massage time!