5 - The Price of Water

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[00:17] ---
    I am the one!
[00:20] ---
    Push on ahead as you like, yeah
[00:24] ---
    Oh, listen closely to me
[00:28] ---
    and speak the name
    of the desert god
[00:32] ---
    Clench your teeth
[00:36] ---
    When your heart starts
    to tremble with heat...
[00:40] ---
    Stop it! It'll only
    bring destruction
[00:46] ---
    Let's do it, oh, angel
[00:50] ---
    Now is the time to
    stand up and be strong
[00:54] ---
    A sad history, a
    hidden big story
[00:59] ---
    That's the mystery
[01:02] ---
    There's nothing certain
    about what tomorrow holds
[01:10] ---
    so living through this moment
[01:15] ---
    is my mission alone
[01:37] ---
    That the village?
[01:39] ---
    Yep, that's it.
[01:41] ---
    West Oasis District,
    Frontier Village ♪21...
[01:45] ---
    Our village.
[01:47] ---
    Talk about a scruffy excuse for a town...
[01:50] ---
    All frontier towns're like that...
[01:53] ---
    But it's a different story
    if they strike water...
[01:56] ---
    "Even oases start from a single well."
[01:59] ---
    If we had our own village with water,
[02:02] ---
    we could live on easy street
    the rest of our lives!
[02:05] ---
    Assuming there really is water.
    They'll be finding out soon.
[02:10] ---
    Let's come back when they do.
[02:12] ---
    I bet this shabby village'll
    be sparkling when we do...
[02:22] ---
    T-t-this is bad...!
[02:27] ---
    "Well and Trap"
[02:35] ---
    "West Oasis District
    Frontier Village ♪21"
[02:37] ---
    Frontier villages...
    well-digging villages.
[02:38] ---
    Frontier villages...
    well-digging villages.
[02:40] ---
    Hoping to strike it rich,
    poor people throughout the Kanto
[02:45] ---
    come together and form these
    frontier villages to dig wells.
[02:55] ---
    Finally here...
[02:57] ---
    I'm takin' the blindfold off.
[03:06] ---
    I'd heard the rumors, but it's
    even shabbier in real life...!
[03:14] ---
    So this is a frontier village?
[03:26] ---
    Soil from the well.
[03:31] ---
    It's damp...
[03:33] ---
    The more we dig,
    the damper it becomes...!
[03:37] ---
    Did you test it?
[03:38] ---
    Yes! There are no
    dangerous chemicals at all!
[03:47] ---
    Way to go, Chief!
    This village is goin' places!
[03:51] ---
    Money and people'll come pouring in,
[03:54] ---
    and it'll be, "Goodbye, poverty!"
[03:56] ---
    Do you think so?
[04:00] ---
    Alright! I'll take the job!
[04:04] ---
    You can pay my bodyguard fee
    after you've struck water...!
[04:07] ---
    --1 million yen.
    --Eh?!
[04:09] ---
    A million'll be chump change
    once you hit water, Chief!
[04:13] ---
    Chump change!
[04:16] ---
    Then we're agreed! Let's discuss
    the details over some water!
[04:23] ---
    "Central Supply Station"
[04:29] ---
    A group of 4 large men sporting
    Kirisame Type-100 Helmets
[04:34] ---
    and hand weapons of all sizes...?
[04:38] ---
    That's gotta be the Edogawa Gang.
[04:41] ---
    Edogawa Gang...?
[04:42] ---
    A four-man bandit gang.
    Ranks above average, I guess...
[04:48] ---
    You state it with such frankness...
[04:51] ---
    According to my Scoundrel Files,
    they're the only possible ones!
[04:57] ---
    Scoundrel Files?
[04:59] ---
    Yep. Compiled by yours truly.
[05:02] ---
    How impressive...!
[05:16] ---
    Nasty! It's all warm and smelly...!
[05:18] ---
    Whoa, he chugged down
    a whole cup of water...!
[05:22] ---
    City folk sure are different...!
[05:24] ---
    And he called it nasty...!
[05:26] ---
    We'll never know such luxury...!
[05:30] ---
    So? How does it look?
[05:32] ---
    Can you handle them, Sunabozu-sensei?!
[05:36] ---
    "Sensei"...?!
[05:41] ---
    Who do you think I am?!
    I'm the Kanto's most skilled...
[05:45] ---
    ...the Sunabozu!
[05:50] ---
    Drink up! Drink up!
    This is all on the chief!
[06:05] ---
    Don't be so reserved...!
[06:07] ---
    Eh? Work? Don't worry about that!
[06:12] ---
    I'm here to protect
    the village, you know!
[06:15] ---
    Sunabozu-sensei!
[06:17] ---
    Word about you has spread
    to this remote village, too!
[06:21] ---
    About your razor-sharp intellect,
    courage, and determination!
[06:25] ---
    And that you're a Super Handyman
    who uses super techniques
[06:28] ---
    to resolve one tough
    situation after another...
[06:33] ---
    ...the Sunabozu!
[06:36] ---
    You're a cheerful fellow!
    What's your name?!
[06:39] ---
    I'm Kawano Tamehiko!
[06:41] ---
    I'm just an inept yes-man,
    but it's great to meet you!
[06:44] ---
    "No Entrance Authorized
    Personnel Only"
[07:03] ---
    Compared to outside,
    it's cool as Heaven in here...!
[07:07] ---
    Plus it's all-you-can-drink!
[07:09] ---
    This is the fanciest building in town...!
[07:13] ---
    Look out!
[07:17] ---
    --Heita's been hurt!
    --My leg...!
[07:20] ---
    Heita!
[07:21] ---
    Hey, Cupcake!
[07:23] ---
    Fancy some water with us?!
[07:28] ---
    Get lost, Dogface!
[07:33] ---
    Mommy, I'm thirsty! I want some water!
[07:37] ---
    Be strong.
[07:39] ---
    There are no rations today
    because of the man here to protect us.
[07:47] ---
    All our food...!
[08:09] ---
    "Town Hall"
[08:11] ---
    Do you have any idea
    how much water he's drunk?!
[08:14] ---
    Half a day's supply
    for the whole village!
[08:17] ---
    But there's not much we can do,
    under the circumstances...!
[08:22] ---
    I'm not sure if he's here to
    protect the village or to extort it!
[08:26] ---
    Let's not forget Tamehiko!
[08:28] ---
    We save his stranded butt from dyin'
[08:31] ---
    and he goes and sucks up to that bum...!
[08:34] ---
    Is that nitwit really capable of
    protecting the village, Chief?!
[08:38] ---
    You needn't worry about that.
[08:40] ---
    He's certified by the
    West Oasis Handyman Guild.
[08:44] ---
    Just endure it a little longer.
[08:46] ---
    It won't be long until
    all of our hard work pays off!
[08:52] ---
    What's the map of the village for, sir?
[08:56] ---
    Are you devising a plan
    to stop the bandits?!
[09:01] ---
    Yeah...
[09:02] ---
    So, what're you gonna do?
[09:04] ---
    You gonna set a trap and ambush 'em?!
[09:07] ---
    The question is
    where they'll attack from.
[09:11] ---
    Their target is the well.
[09:14] ---
    And they don't know about me
    or that we know about their raid.
[09:22] ---
    Taking that into consideration,
    the ambush point should be...
[09:27] ---
    Should be...?!
[09:30] ---
    Right here!
[09:32] ---
    Brilliant!
[09:35] ---
    Well, I'll just be going now...!
[09:41] ---
    Now, then...
[09:51] ---
    Well, if it isn't Sunabozu-sensei.
[09:53] ---
    Oh! What do we have here...?!
[09:57] ---
    They're not as big as Asagiri Junko's,
    but they have a great shape!
[10:00] ---
    They're perfect! I guess shape
    IS more important than size...!
[10:09] ---
    No! I can't disregard size!
[10:12] ---
    Even with great shape,
    small breasts just don't cut it!
[10:18] ---
    Wait! When you get down to it,
    size IS shape...!
[10:21] ---
    Yeah! I can't give up either!
[10:27] ---
    Wait, is it all about breasts?
    What about looks...?
[10:31] ---
    Yeah! Gargantuan boobs don't
    make plain looks any better!
[10:34] ---
    It's much more than looks with me!
[10:37] ---
    Breasts...! Looks...!
[10:39] ---
    Yeah! I love the entire female body!
[10:43] ---
    A babe!
[10:45] ---
    Where are you going at this hour?
[10:47] ---
    Wow! I didn't know
    this village had a hottie!
[10:50] ---
    They shoulda brought you over!
[10:53] ---
    I'm head of the Frontier Village ♪21
    Youth Brigade, Marimo Mariko.
[10:58] ---
    We'd like a word with you!
[11:02] ---
    You may have convinced
    the chief and the others,
[11:05] ---
    but you can't convince us!
[11:09] ---
    Meaning...?
[11:11] ---
    We want to see if you really
    can protect this village...!
[11:20] ---
    Might you be convinced now...?
[11:24] ---
    You're good...!
[11:27] ---
    Like I'd ever lose to a
    bunch of underfed wusses...!
[11:31] ---
    Listen.
[11:33] ---
    Normally, I try to accomplish all
    my jobs as the Kanto's strongest...
[11:40] ---
    Eh...?
[11:40] ---
    But being treated like this
    really kills my enthusiasm...
[11:44] ---
    Think I could get some compensation?
[11:47] ---
    Compensation...?
[11:50] ---
    Let me do you!
[12:06] ---
    A-alright.
[12:12] ---
    But only after you've protected
    the village! Just do that...
[12:19] ---
    ...and you can do as you please!
[12:23] ---
    I'll do anything if it means
    we can live like people here...
[12:28] ---
    That IS why I crawled all the way
    here as the sun broiled me alive...!
[12:36] ---
    I'm gonna hold you to that...!
[12:43] ---
    And so the Sunabozu continued to
    live it up, Tamehiko at his side.
[12:47] ---
    Meanwhile...!
[12:55] ---
    From the well gushed the
    villagers' much-wished-for water!
[13:16] ---
    From the well gushed the
    villagers' much-wished-for water,
[13:20] ---
    and there was much celebration.
[13:25] ---
    And then... they came.
[13:37] ---
    So their bodyguard is the Sunabozu,
    of all people...
[13:42] ---
    Let's accept them graciously...
[13:44] ---
    ...a rich village and reputation
    as the Kanto's greatest!
[14:06] ---
    Is it really wise to gather
    all of the men out front like this?!
[14:12] ---
    He evacuated the women and
    children to the supply station.
[14:15] ---
    There's nobody else!
[14:16] ---
    Said the Edogawa Gang'll pretend
    to be travelers or salesmen!
[14:21] ---
    Apparently, that's their usual method...!
[14:24] ---
    So he said they'd come from the east,
    through the front gate.
[14:28] ---
    So where did he go?
[14:32] ---
    He took off with Tamehiko to go check on stuff...!
[14:35] ---
    "Near Ruins South of Village"
    He took off with Tamehiko to go check on stuff...!
[14:38] ---
    Is it ok to leave everyone behind?
[14:41] ---
    --They'll be fine there.
    --Eh?
[14:44] ---
    The bad guys won't come from the east.
[14:46] ---
    They'll come from there.
    The ruins to the south.
[14:49] ---
    Eh?!
[14:51] ---
    I know this...
[14:53] ---
    ...'cause I'm the most super mega
    awesomely skilled in all the Kanto!
[14:58] ---
    Explain!
[15:02] ---
    Oh! Mari-chan!
[15:04] ---
    What's wrong? Were you
    lonely without little ol' me?
[15:08] ---
    Or maybe you couldn't
    wait to do it with me?
[15:12] ---
    Oh, Mari-chan, you're so impatient...!
[15:17] ---
    But I can always
    protect the village later...
[15:20] ---
    Now bury my face in those
    magnificent breasts of--
[15:24] ---
    I only came to see
    if you were slacking off!
[15:27] ---
    Oh...
[15:28] ---
    So what's this about them
    not coming from the east?!
[15:32] ---
    Why did you gather everyone
    on the eastern side?!
[15:36] ---
    Yes, I do believe a proper
    explanation is in order.
[15:42] ---
    This guy's a spy for the Edogawa Gang!
[15:45] ---
    --Huh...?!
    --Eh?!
[15:46] ---
    --Hold on...! That's not true...!
    --Shut up!
[15:51] ---
    You were so freakin' obvious,
    you small fry!
[15:55] ---
    I'm sorry... I am a spy...
[15:58] ---
    I did suspect news about
    the village was leaking out...!
[16:02] ---
    But I never would've imagined
    that you were a spy...!
[16:07] ---
    You should be careful.
    But I guess poor people can't.
[16:11] ---
    Why didn't you tell us immediately?!
[16:14] ---
    I figured that if info
    was being leaked to them
[16:17] ---
    that I might try
    using that to my advantage...
[16:20] ---
    Eh?
[16:22] ---
    The villagers at the
    eastern gate are a decoy.
[16:26] ---
    They're definitely gonna
    attack from here, the south.
[16:29] ---
    So you were actually wandering around
    last night to set traps here...?
[16:36] ---
    Yup.
[16:40] ---
    Does that mean all your horrible behavior
    was meant to fool the spy?!
[16:48] ---
    Eh?
[16:50] ---
    That's the look of envy...!
[16:52] ---
    Those eyes...! She's fallen in
    love with me! No doubt about it!
[16:56] ---
    But they scare me so!
[16:57] ---
    I don't wanna have to choose
    just one girl yet!
[17:01] ---
    I can't even imagine being with
    one girl for the rest of my life!
[17:04] ---
    Yeah, I'll just give it a shot,
[17:05] ---
    and if I like it, I'll give it
    another shot or two! Yeah!
[17:12] ---
    I should've realized!
[17:15] ---
    Never fear, Mariko.
    I hold a 99% chance of victory.
[17:21] ---
    The village will be all right!
[17:32] ---
    Huh? That's to the east...
[17:38] ---
    That was the sign of an attack!
[17:41] ---
    Eh?
[17:42] ---
    Hey! I thought they were coming
    from the south instead of the east?!
[17:49] ---
    Eh?
[17:51] ---
    Huh...?
[17:56] ---
    Mr. Bodyguard! Please save us...!
[17:59] ---
    Where were you, dumbass?!
[18:01] ---
    Why didn't you alert me sooner?!
[18:05] ---
    They were so terrifyingly fast
    that before we knew it...
[18:09] ---
    Geez, you're all so useless...!
[18:13] ---
    Fast, you say?!
[18:15] ---
    Damn! Guess this means
    it'll be a big shootout!
[18:20] ---
    What a pain in the ass!
[18:28] ---
    Rockets! No wonder they're fast!
[18:37] ---
    Just as we thought...
[18:39] ---
    Did you really think we wouldn't
    see through such a petty trap?!
[18:48] ---
    D-damn it...!
[19:09] ---
    Ow ow ow...!
[19:11] ---
    Bastard!
[19:16] ---
    Blinders!
[19:18] ---
    Damn! I can't see!
[19:24] ---
    Don't let the Sunabozu escape!
    After him!
[19:28] ---
    The Sunabozu subsequently
    went into hiding.
[19:38] ---
    Hang in there...
[19:40] ---
    You alright?
[19:43] ---
    Today's your last day as village chief.
[19:47] ---
    Now sign this.
    It declares us the village leaders.
[19:55] ---
    Also, Mariko belongs to me now.
[20:11] ---
    Horrible news...!
[20:18] ---
    The well...!
[20:19] ---
    What about the well?!
[20:21] ---
    The Sunabozu, he--
[20:28] ---
    W-what...?!
[20:39] ---
    Plastic explosives and nitro...
[20:42] ---
    Damn! We can't even touch it...!
[20:49] ---
    Oh, how nice of you all to be here!
[20:53] ---
    Now the entertainment can begin!
[20:56] ---
    There's more than plastic explosives
    and nitro in that bucket.
[21:01] ---
    At the bottom of it is a powerful poison!
[21:04] ---
    --What?!
    --What?!
[21:08] ---
    And here's the detonator for
    the plastic explosives...!
[21:13] ---
    If they blow, the poison gets spread
    and it's "The End" for the well!
[21:24] ---
    Damn you, Sunabozu...!
[21:26] ---
    The contract said
    I'd protect the village,
[21:30] ---
    but didn't say anything about the well.
[21:32] ---
    Right, Chief?
[21:35] ---
    Without this well, the village
    is worthless to the Edogawa Gang.
[21:40] ---
    Good thinkin', huh?
[21:42] ---
    Damn you...!
[21:44] ---
    I won't let you have your way,
    jerk-offs...
[21:52] ---
    He's gone crazy...!
[21:56] ---
    P-please...!
[21:59] ---
    The well...! I'll do
    anything you say! Just...
[22:04] ---
    ...save the well from that lunatic!
[22:08] ---
    Kill him right this minute!
[22:39] ---
    One circle... Two circles...
[22:47] ---
    One more big circle...
[22:51] ---
    A billowing raincoat...
    (It's a cape!)
[22:55] ---
    Oh, let's not forget
    the sunshade now...
[23:00] ---
    (His heart is pitch black!
    His heart is pitch black!)
[23:06] ---
    Give him a Winchester and
    suddenly you have Sunabouzu!
[23:22] ---
    He'll run again
    today! (Run again)
[23:25] ---
    Through the desert!
    (Even if forced to do jobs)
[23:29] ---
    He'll go forth again tomorrow!
    (Go forth again)
[23:33] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:35] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:37] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady!)
[23:39] ---
    He'll rush on ahead, life
    on the line! Rush on ahead!
[23:57] ---
    Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabozu here!
[23:59] ---
    Sweet frontier boob lady, huh?!
    Next time's an intense battle!
[24:02] ---
    --Blast him to smithereens!
    --Understood. I am the village chief.
[24:06] ---
    What the hell're you doing?!
[24:07] ---
    On the next Sunabozu-
    "Rockets and Wandering"
[24:10] ---
    Miss it and it's your loss!