20 - A Raw Deal

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[01:22] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[01:47] ---
    Wha? Where am I?
[01:58] ---
    Asagiri Junko?!
[02:01] ---
    This is a dream! After all, she was-
[02:06] ---
    How are we feeling?!
[02:08] ---
    What the hell're you doing?
[02:10] ---
    Oh, can't you tell? I'm a nurse!
[02:13] ---
    That's not what I mean...
[02:15] ---
    Wasn't the Oasis secret service
    torturing you beyond imagination?!
[02:19] ---
    Oh, you were worried about me?!
[02:22] ---
    I got a new job!
[02:24] ---
    In the RHG!
[02:25] ---
    Huh?!
[02:28] ---
    Seems you hit your head when you tripped.
[02:31] ---
    Be a nice boy for a little while longer!
[02:33] ---
    Well, I'll be back later!
[02:38] ---
    Yep, I'm dreamin'.
[02:40] ---
    That broad'd never take
    a job helping others...
[02:44] ---
    Could this be the afterlife?
[02:47] ---
    Maybe she was tortured to death
    and became a nurse after reforming!
[02:54] ---
    Still...
[02:55] ---
    "Reverse and Handy"
[02:56] ---
    What's the RHG?
[03:03] ---
    Yo.
[03:04] ---
    What's with the outfit?
[03:08] ---
    That busty broad told me
    to wear it 'cause it suits me.
[03:10] ---
    "Koizumi Taiko- 14 Years Old"
[03:13] ---
    That's all there is to wear!
[03:21] ---
    So it wasn't a dream?
[03:23] ---
    Seems this is a secret base
    for Natsuko-san and the others,
[03:26] ---
    but the food's great and they even
    let me bathe, so I'm enjoying it!
[03:31] ---
    So it is in the Oasis?
[03:33] ---
    Yes.
[03:34] ---
    It's in a corner much deeper than
    the cave the government's using.
[03:42] ---
    What do you suppose will happen now?
[03:44] ---
    No point in broodin' over it now.
[03:47] ---
    I'm just gonna eat my fill and sleep!
[03:50] ---
    You certainly have some guts.
[03:58] ---
    Y-you're!
[04:05] ---
    So itchy!
[04:06] ---
    What's wrong?!
[04:07] ---
    This always happens when
    he deals with pure people...
[04:10] ---
    Y-you're that runaway Oasis soldier!
[04:14] ---
    The pure-hearted bastard who helps
    the weak by crushing the strong...
[04:18] ---
    ...Kaido Masaru!
[04:20] ---
    Long time, no see!
[04:22] ---
    Umm... Weren't you sold to a homo?
[04:25] ---
    I definitely had a real tough time.
[04:28] ---
    But the Oasis had been monitoring me,
    so I was rescued before long.
[04:33] ---
    Spoiled kids are spoiled kids,
    wherever they go.
[04:37] ---
    That's for sure.
[04:38] ---
    I deeply apologize for my carelessness...
[04:41] ---
    That voice!
    The Chinoike Archaeology Team's-
[04:44] ---
    -Dark Age historian, Ikeda.
[04:48] ---
    In truth, we weren't going to persuade you
[04:52] ---
    after considering your nature...
[04:56] ---
    But after the Uzumaki Chemicals incident,
[04:58] ---
    word got out that the Sunabozu
    had been betrayed by the government
[05:01] ---
    and so he moved on his own.
[05:04] ---
    I'm very sorry.
[05:06] ---
    I'm sure you've heard by now,
[05:08] ---
    but we, the RHG, would like
    to have the Sunabozu join us!
[05:13] ---
    --RHG?
    - -RHG?
[05:15] ---
    Another handyman guild that secretly
    upholds the future and freedom
[05:19] ---
    of the denizens of
    the Great Kanto Desert!
[05:22] ---
    The Reverse Handyman Guild!
[05:23] ---
    Abbreviated as...
[05:25] ---
    --...RHG!
[05:25] ---
    --...RHG!
[05:27] ---
    As it operates now, the Oasis
    government cannot help the unfortunate!
[05:32] ---
    "If they can't do it, then we will!"
[05:35] ---
    Officials and civilians
[05:37] ---
    have gathered around this
    idea to form the RHG!
[05:41] ---
    Sunabozu-kun! Stand with us!
[05:43] ---
    Yes! It's your duty to join us!
[05:46] ---
    Sunabozu-kun! We know you don't
    like how the government works!
[05:50] ---
    I don't either, to be honest!
[05:52] ---
    Neither do I, of course!
[05:54] ---
    The RHG is a congregation of
    people who feel the same as you!
[05:57] ---
    Sunabozu-kun! Wouldn't you like
    to help us win our freedom?!
[06:01] ---
    Yes! It should make your own work-
[06:04] ---
    Quit decidin' things for me.
[06:07] ---
    I don't think the current
    Oasis government is all that bad.
[06:13] ---
    Yes, it has done some sucky stuff,
    but I like it for the most part.
[06:18] ---
    Food and medicine.
[06:19] ---
    The government supplies the bare
    essentials to survive in the desert.
[06:24] ---
    But that's it.
[06:27] ---
    They keep you alive,
    but don't do any more than that.
[06:30] ---
    "You're on your own if you
    don't wanna die," is how they act.
[06:35] ---
    I like that.
[06:36] ---
    Actually, there's someone big
    who highly values you...
[06:40] ---
    Someone big?
[06:42] ---
    The RHG guildhead.
[06:45] ---
    Guildhead?
[06:46] ---
    Me!
[06:47] ---
    You?!
[06:52] ---
    S-such intensity! Such stifling tension!
[06:57] ---
    But it's no wonder.
[06:58] ---
    The Great Kanto Desert's
    two oddest men-
[07:01] ---
    pervert fiend and master skinflint-
[07:04] ---
    are staring it out in this tiny room!
[07:08] ---
    The master skinflint is president
    of the Game of Life Company
[07:12] ---
    and greatest treasure hunter
    in all the desert...
[07:15] ---
    ...Kaizuka Kaoru!
[07:18] ---
    You came too, little one!
[07:21] ---
    What's with that outfit?
[07:23] ---
    I-it's good to see you.
[07:25] ---
    So!
[07:27] ---
    You threw Kaido, Natsuko, and the
    rest out to tell me what, exactly?
[07:33] ---
    If you'd just sell your game
    like a good old man,
[07:35] ---
    you could live what's
    left of your life in peace...
[07:39] ---
    Seems you're as twisted as ever.
[07:42] ---
    Whatever do you mean?
[07:45] ---
    I fall far short of a cold-blooded jerkoff
[07:49] ---
    who pulls innocent people
[07:52] ---
    into selfish bastards'
    sappy-ass fairy tales.
[08:03] ---
    You're one to talk.
[08:05] ---
    Are you sure you're not happy
    this chance actually came up?
[08:17] ---
    It's that look again.
[08:20] ---
    It's true I want to talk to you.
[08:24] ---
    I deliberately became their palanquin.
[08:28] ---
    You're going to carry me, too.
[08:31] ---
    I thought you were gonna
    call for me in 10 years, though...
[08:35] ---
    There is no longer time
    to be so laid-back.
[08:38] ---
    I'm sure you've realized it, too.
[08:41] ---
    The Great Kanto Desert is starting
    to overflow with dangerous power.
[08:45] ---
    Those monsters?
[08:48] ---
    Not just them.
[08:50] ---
    I assume you haven't forgotten
    about the guardian at the skeleton city?
[08:55] ---
    Hell no.
[08:58] ---
    People originally gathered
    in the Great Kanto Desert
[09:01] ---
    because Dark Age artifacts
    would turn up here.
[09:07] ---
    But lately, the things dug up
    have been getting newer and newer.
[09:11] ---
    And they've all been dangerous
    super-science objects.
[09:16] ---
    Super-science... Super-science...
[09:19] ---
    I get it. You worked your ass off
    getting ahold of him
[09:23] ---
    so you could take on the government...
[09:27] ---
    You sure you just don't wanna
    take over for the Oasis?!
[09:30] ---
    I won't deny it!
[09:36] ---
    What exactly could they be discussing?
[09:39] ---
    Given those two,
    it can't be anything good.
[09:43] ---
    Why would someone of
    Kaizuka-san's standing want him?
[09:48] ---
    I doubt you'll ever understand!
[09:59] ---
    During the Dark Age, a worldwide
    environmental cataclysm occurred,
[10:04] ---
    and the Kanto became a desert.
[10:06] ---
    The Earth's nature lost its balance,
[10:08] ---
    but it's said to be slowly returning
    to its normal state on its own.
[10:14] ---
    Lost its balance, huh?
    What's "normal" mean?
[10:19] ---
    That it will be an easier environment
    for life to live in.
[10:23] ---
    But the Oasis government
    intends to do nothing to help it.
[10:27] ---
    Guess nobody'd need the Oasis anymore
    if that ever happened...
[10:32] ---
    It's said that it'll take the planet
    millennia or even dozens of millennia
[10:36] ---
    to return to normal on its own.
[10:41] ---
    Talk about patient.
[10:42] ---
    So, what do you intend to do?
[10:45] ---
    I'm not collecting Dark Age technology
    just to topple the government.
[10:52] ---
    I'm going to artificially speed up
    the process and afforest the Earth.
[10:56] ---
    "Afforest"
[10:57] ---
    Afforest?
[11:03] ---
    That ain't what I'm askin'.
[11:05] ---
    What are you gonna make me do?!
[11:14] ---
    "WEST"
[11:16] ---
    "YDNAH"
[11:17] ---
    Wow, "Reverse Handymen"...
[11:20] ---
    I-it's so cool!
[11:22] ---
    You guys ain't ordinary handymen
    no more. Pull yourselves together.
[11:27] ---
    Yeah! Act cool!
[11:28] ---
    "(Reverse) Handyman"
[11:29] ---
    F- Fuyu-niichan! Look, look!
[11:31] ---
    I'm completely "RHG" now, too!
[11:34] ---
    When did you-
[11:35] ---
    Guy's suddenly more
    rarin' to go than we are!
[11:38] ---
    I can get serious too, when I have to!
[11:43] ---
    W-what is it, Bro?
[11:45] ---
    Somethin' there?
[11:47] ---
    No... Must be my imagination...
[12:03] ---
    We've reached an agreement!
[12:05] ---
    The old man says he's hungry...
[12:07] ---
    Yes! Right away!
[12:09] ---
    So, what did you agree to?
[12:12] ---
    I'll help you.
[12:15] ---
    To what do we owe this surprise?
[12:17] ---
    I'll be killed if I say no.
[12:19] ---
    I'll be killed if I run.
[12:21] ---
    So my only choice is to join you...
[12:25] ---
    You're plannin' something.
[12:26] ---
    Just something lucrative...
[12:28] ---
    How do we know you won't betray us?
[12:30] ---
    You won't trust me
    no matter what I do, anyway.
[12:34] ---
    That's true.
[12:36] ---
    We're counting on you, Sunabozu!
[12:49] ---
    Yahoo!
[12:52] ---
    It's yummy, yummy lunch time!
[12:54] ---
    Eat lots and regain your strength!
[12:58] ---
    OK! Say ah!
[13:02] ---
    Come on!
[13:03] ---
    Ah!
[13:09] ---
    C'mon...
[13:11] ---
    What's the matter?
[13:34] ---
    H-he's handling me
    like I weigh nothin'!
[13:38] ---
    Damn you!
[13:41] ---
    Howdya like that?!
[13:44] ---
    W-what?!
[13:49] ---
    Gotta tell... Natsuko...
[13:53] ---
    Guests?!
[13:54] ---
    I'll greet them!
[13:56] ---
    Master!
[13:58] ---
    Look, look! New model equipment!
[14:00] ---
    Wow! It's so light!
[14:02] ---
    Master! Master!
[14:05] ---
    Here I come! I'm gonna get ya!
[14:08] ---
    No! I only let rich people catch me!
[14:13] ---
    The RHG's gonna pay me
    whatever I want! Lemme catch you!
[14:18] ---
    In that case, go ahead!
[14:19] ---
    Oh! 10,000 yen a feel, you know!
[14:22] ---
    You're the same as ever, Sunabozu.
[14:25] ---
    Tanigawa Seiji-kun!
[14:27] ---
    Heya.
[14:29] ---
    You stalker!
[14:30] ---
    N-no! The RHG's ideals intrigued me!
[14:33] ---
    Who cares about that.
[14:35] ---
    Don't tell me those are our suits?
[14:38] ---
    Yep!
[14:39] ---
    They look the same on the outside,
[14:41] ---
    but they're the same as the
    Fisheye Specials on the inside!
[14:44] ---
    More advanced, in fact!
[14:46] ---
    Try it out!
[14:47] ---
    If you need test partners,
    there's some out front!
[14:50] ---
    The guys from before?
[14:51] ---
    Probably. Can you handle 'em for us?
[14:55] ---
    Like I really got a choice here.
[14:58] ---
    Thanks.
[14:59] ---
    I'm going to evacuate Kaizuka-san.
    Asagiri and Tanigawa, come too!
[15:03] ---
    Right!
[15:04] ---
    Hold on!
[15:05] ---
    Later, Kan-chan!
[15:10] ---
    How did Kaizuka-san's evacuation go?!
[15:12] ---
    All OK here!
[15:14] ---
    Then head to the underground parking lot!
[15:17] ---
    We'll be there soon!
[15:32] ---
    Damn monster!
[15:42] ---
    Keep your hands off of Natsuko!
[15:46] ---
    Fuyu-niisan! Aki-niisan!
[15:56] ---
    Haruo!
[16:02] ---
    So easy to move in!
[16:04] ---
    Taiko.
[16:05] ---
    Yes?
[16:18] ---
    Koizumi Taiko-kun!
[16:20] ---
    As of this moment,
    your training is complete!
[16:23] ---
    Congratulations! You are
    now a full-fledged handyman!
[16:34] ---
    "Self-Dependence"
[16:34] ---
    Yay! Yay!
[16:37] ---
    So the enemies out front are all yours.
[16:42] ---
    Eh? W-what are you going to do?
[16:45] ---
    Use your head. This is a
    secret anti-government base.
[16:50] ---
    They're not gonna throw everything
    they got at the front door.
[16:54] ---
    While Natsuko and the rest are
    handling them, the real attack'll come...
[16:57] ---
    ...from the rear.
[16:59] ---
    Then you're going to-
[17:01] ---
    The last thing the old man said...
    do you know what it meant?
[17:06] ---
    Once the Oasis is gone, it'll take
    some time until my plan bears fruit.
[17:11] ---
    Current society will need to survive
    until then. That, I will manage.
[17:13] ---
    Current society will need to survive
    until then. That, I will manage.
[17:17] ---
    However...
[17:19] ---
    After that, comes your guys' work.
[17:23] ---
    The old man said he's
    about to take a shit
[17:26] ---
    and that he wants us
    to wipe his ass for him.
[17:29] ---
    Eh?!
[17:30] ---
    I don't like any of it.
[17:32] ---
    The old man, Kaido,
    Natsuko... RHG? Get real.
[17:37] ---
    Master...
[17:39] ---
    We're handymen.
[17:40] ---
    We don't work for ideas
    and principles like them.
[17:46] ---
    Let's show those "Reverse Handymen"
[17:50] ---
    what real handymen do!
[17:52] ---
    Right!
[17:53] ---
    The front'll be tough enough.
    I leave it to you, Handyman Kosuna!
[17:58] ---
    Handyman Kosuna?
[18:01] ---
    Alright! Let's do it!
[18:02] ---
    Yes, sir!
[18:04] ---
    Handyman Kosuna! Alright! Here I come!
[18:22] ---
    A robot soldier?!
[18:25] ---
    General Kawaguchi!
[18:27] ---
    Into the truck! Hurry!
[18:38] ---
    Step on it!
[18:48] ---
    Bastard!
[18:56] ---
    Commander located.
[18:58] ---
    Excellent! That's not just the commander!
    It's Kaizuka Kaoru!
[19:02] ---
    So the Game of Life president
    is the faction's don!
[19:06] ---
    Ayukawa! That's him, all right!
    Capture him at all costs!
[19:10] ---
    Understood.
[19:16] ---
    H-help!
[19:20] ---
    Incoming!
[19:28] ---
    Good job!
[19:35] ---
    Taiko-chan...
[19:36] ---
    Natsuko-san! Get me outta here!
[19:46] ---
    Hey, Ayukawa! What happened?! Hey!
[19:49] ---
    W-wait!
[19:51] ---
    Way to go, Kosuna!
[19:55] ---
    You're somethin' else!
[19:57] ---
    Well, I am a handyman!
[19:59] ---
    What happened to Kanta?
[20:03] ---
    Master said he was going to
    show everyone what real handymen do...
[20:09] ---
    So he ran away.
[20:12] ---
    M- Master saw that the real
    attack would come from behind!
[20:17] ---
    He said he'd handle them by himself!
[20:19] ---
    That's a real handyman!
[20:22] ---
    Master did not run away!
[20:24] ---
    Yikes... Did they really
    attack from this way?
[20:28] ---
    Here I was hoping to use 'em all
    as a big decoy to escape!
[20:33] ---
    It's a lie turned true...
[20:38] ---
    Master is...
[20:40] ---
    Master is!
[20:42] ---
    Kan-chan...
[21:18] ---
    No... way...
[21:25] ---
    Rearward forces eliminated.
    Mission accomplished.
[21:31] ---
    Never mind the small-fries!
    Go help Ayukawa!
[21:35] ---
    Understood.
[21:50] ---
    Kosuna...
[21:54] ---
    Master...
[21:56] ---
    I'm going to help my master!
[21:59] ---
    Stop, Kosuna!
[22:01] ---
    Let go of me!
[22:02] ---
    Master is... Master is!
[22:04] ---
    
[22:14] ---
    Ol' Kanta...
[22:17] ---
    M- Master!
[23:56] ---
    Well, it's been a fun ride!
[23:57] ---
    I've enjoyed playing
    Ghost of the Desert, Sunabozu!
[24:00] ---
    Unfortunately, my role ends
    with today's show,
[24:03] ---
    but I hope to see you all
    again in another-
[24:04] ---
    Um, Director? Is this for real?
[24:06] ---
    So next episode is
    "Master and Pupil, Part 2"!
[24:08] ---
    Miss it and it'll make no scents!