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2 - Rock, Paper, Scissors

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[00:17] ---
    I am the one!
[00:20] ---
    Push on ahead as you like, yeah
[00:24] ---
    Oh, listen closely to me
[00:28] ---
    and speak the name
    of the desert god

[00:32] ---
    Clench your teeth
[00:36] ---
    When your heart starts
    to tremble with heat...

[00:40] ---
    Stop it! It'll only
    bring destruction

[00:46] ---
    Let's do it, oh, angel
[00:50] ---
    Now is the time to
    stand up and be strong

[00:54] ---
    A sad history, a
    hidden big story

[00:59] ---
    That's the mystery
[01:02] ---
    There's nothing certain
    about what tomorrow holds

[01:10] ---
    so living through this moment
[01:15] ---
    is my mission alone
[01:31] ---
    "Water Station ♪22 - 1 km"
[01:50] ---
    Noriko. Let's stop at the next village...
[01:55] ---
    I'm fine.
[01:59] ---
    I'm sorry I'm such a burden...
[02:08] ---
    Dad...!
[02:11] ---
    Are you alright, Dad?!
[02:15] ---
    I'm truly sorry... I... I...!
[02:21] ---
    You know you're not supposed to say it.
[02:25] ---
    Noriko...!
[02:27] ---
    Dad!
[02:31] ---
    Noriko...!
[02:34] ---
    Dad...?
[02:36] ---
    Noriko!
[02:40] ---
    Dad...?!
[02:42] ---
    Dad!
[02:48] ---
    Centuries after the collapse
    of modern civilization...
[02:51] ---
    The Great Kanto Desert...
[02:54] ---
    In this world of survival of the fittest...
[02:58] ---
    ...the victor is right.
[03:02] ---
    And the victor of this fight
    is known and feared as a ghost.
[03:09] ---
    The Handyman of the Desert. His name...
[03:13] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[03:15] ---
    "Sand and Rain"
[03:18] ---
    And...
[03:19] ---
    ...this...
[03:21] ---
    ...is the end...!
[03:33] ---
    I shot yet another trifling thing.
[03:36] ---
    I'm so hilarious!
[03:39] ---
    Don't tell me you're...!
[03:49] ---
    It's a piece of cake when
    there's no chicks involved...
[03:56] ---
    But those were some mighty good boobs...!
[04:01] ---
    No!
[04:02] ---
    I must never work with broads!
    I must ignore them!
[04:08] ---
    Especially ones with giant breasts!
[04:11] ---
    From now on, it's only
    innocent and lovely--
[04:15] ---
    Hands up, jerk!
[04:18] ---
    But slowly!
[04:20] ---
    You scared or somethin'?!
[04:23] ---
    Just make with the hands!
[04:25] ---
    "Repo Man - Amagumo"
[04:28] ---
    He can't even talk, Bro!
[04:33] ---
    You're all show! Now hand over yer money!
[04:37] ---
    They're goners...
[04:39] ---
    He's like the greatest repo man there is!
[04:42] ---
    They say when his hands move,
[04:44] ---
    he collects not just money,
    but souls too...!
[04:49] ---
    So you want me to take my hands out?
[04:52] ---
    Yeah...!
[04:54] ---
    Just do what we say and we won't kill ya...
[05:07] ---
    Ouch...!
[05:08] ---
    What the hell is this?!
[05:12] ---
    Thread...? Damn you...!
[05:17] ---
    I took my hands out. What should I do next?
[05:32] ---
    --Ow, ow!
[05:33] ---
    --Ow, ow!
[05:34] ---
    Kill us!
[05:36] ---
    We can't go back to town
    like this, you brute!
[05:40] ---
    Yeah! We'd never hear the end of it!
[05:43] ---
    We'd rather die!
[05:45] ---
    Is that so?
[05:48] ---
    Just kidding!
[05:50] ---
    We'll buy some undies!
[05:51] ---
    They're no fun...
[05:52] ---
    How uncool...
[05:56] ---
    So, collecting souls means
    tearing people's pride to shreds?
[06:01] ---
    I consider it reimbursement.
[06:03] ---
    So it was the famous Sunabouzu
    who was spying on me, huh?
[06:08] ---
    Oh, you noticed? Pretty slick, Amagumo!
[06:12] ---
    We've never met before, though...
[06:14] ---
    The Sunabouzu is the talk of
    the Kanto region somewhat...
[06:21] ---
    I got a look at how you work
[06:24] ---
    and at how skilled the ♪1 repo man
    in the tiny Kanto area really is!
[06:29] ---
    How I'd love to see the
    clever techniques of the guy
[06:33] ---
    who bullies people
    to make a name for himself.
[06:35] ---
    Who knows, you just might be
    able to experience 'em firsthand!
[06:45] ---
    Hey!
[06:46] ---
    One of these days. I have
    pressing business to attend to.
[06:50] ---
    That's too bad!
[06:53] ---
    Ran into a creep first
    thing in the morning...
[06:55] ---
    Today's not my lucky day.
[07:05] ---
    My, that was fast.
[07:08] ---
    So what's my next job?
[07:08] ---
    "Handyman Guild - Mugenya"
[07:11] ---
    Just a minute...
[07:19] ---
    Mommy, I'm hungry...!
[07:22] ---
    Here we are. Water Station ♪22.
[07:25] ---
    A Koike Kazuo-san lives there,
[07:29] ---
    and Akashio Financial wants someone
    to collect on his unpaid loan.
[07:37] ---
    Let's see... 29-3...
[07:40] ---
    29-3... Is this it?
[07:45] ---
    Talk about ghetto...
[07:48] ---
    Hello! Is Koike Kazuo-san home?
[07:56] ---
    Oh?
[08:01] ---
    Koike-san is an acquaintance of yours?
[08:05] ---
    I have no acquaintance this
    incredibly stupid or poor.
[08:10] ---
    But if a repo man like you
    is here, does that mean--
[08:15] ---
    I'm obviously here to collect on a debt!
[08:18] ---
    Koike-san borrowed money from
    Oshio Financial in the South Oasis
[08:22] ---
    and today's the repayment due date...
[08:26] ---
    Unfortunately, I'm told he
    doesn't have a single cent...
[08:30] ---
    Damn, this isn't looking good...
[08:33] ---
    Incidentally, what's a handyman doing here?
[08:39] ---
    Hold on, you old fart!
[08:40] ---
    You swindled money
    from two places at once?!
[08:44] ---
    Give back the money you
    borrowed from Akashio!
[08:47] ---
    "I.O.U."
[08:48] ---
    What...?!
[08:50] ---
    He owes Akashio today, too!
[08:52] ---
    You got some guts making
    both repayment days the same!
[08:58] ---
    Hand it over! Hand it over right now!
[09:00] ---
    Hey! Hold on! I was here first!
[09:03] ---
    So what?! First one to get repaid wins!
[09:06] ---
    --What?!
[09:06] ---
    --Damn you...!
[09:08] ---
    Just give up and go home!
[09:09] ---
    You know I can't do that!
[09:11] ---
    Why're you ransacking the house?!
[09:13] ---
    It's finders-keepers!
[09:27] ---
    There's not a damn thing there!
[09:29] ---
    And the place reeks like mad!
[09:34] ---
    I'm sorry. In my condition,
    I can't even work enough to--
[09:40] ---
    Koike-san.
[09:43] ---
    Do you know how people can
    make a living lending money
[09:48] ---
    in this lawless region?
[09:49] ---
    No...
[09:50] ---
    Because no matter the obstacles,
    no matter how much they resist,
[09:55] ---
    we hunt down creditors
    and capture them alive.
[09:59] ---
    Yes, it's because there are
    professional repo men like us around.
[10:07] ---
    And we use any means necessary
    to always get the money repaid.
[10:13] ---
    I'm known far and wide for
    always carrying out my jobs!
[10:16] ---
    And I don't show mercy
    to sick, old geezers!
[10:20] ---
    Dad...!
[10:24] ---
    A babe! A little dusty, though...
[10:27] ---
    What are you doing to my father?!
[10:33] ---
    I see. So you were working in
    place of your sick father...
[10:39] ---
    I'm sorry. I knew today was the due date...
[10:43] ---
    But wasn't that clearly too much
    money for a woman to work off?
[10:49] ---
    Yes. I worked myself to the bone, but...
[10:56] ---
    Just when I found a job
    at a printing plant,
[10:59] ---
    its owner was murdered by bandits...
[11:02] ---
    Get lost!
[11:04] ---
    ...and I never got paid...
[11:08] ---
    And my job of hauling things...
[11:11] ---
    As a girl, I couldn't keep at it long...!
[11:16] ---
    And the side job I finally found...
[11:25] ---
    I'm just so clumsy...!
[11:31] ---
    Forgive me, Noriko. I'm so worthless...
[11:37] ---
    Are you alright, Dad?!
[11:39] ---
    It's not your fault; that
    stupid illness is to blame!
[11:43] ---
    No, I've burdened everyone...
    Even your mother...
[11:47] ---
    Oh, Dad... You know you're
    not supposed to say it.
[11:53] ---
    Noriko...!
[11:58] ---
    Don't worry! Let's work hard together!
[12:03] ---
    Oh, dear. Not in front of company, Dad...
[12:08] ---
    Um...
[12:10] ---
    I could maybe convince Akashio...
[12:14] ---
    Eh?!
[12:16] ---
    ...to wait 10 days or so...
[12:20] ---
    Really...?!
[12:22] ---
    M-maybe...
[12:29] ---
    What?!
[12:30] ---
    Nothing...
[12:32] ---
    Liar!
[12:32] ---
    I know you're thinking, "What a
    softy," or, "He fell for her charm!"
[12:38] ---
    But what else is there? Tearing
    this place up won't get us anything!
[12:43] ---
    I wouldn't be so sure.
[12:45] ---
    No!
[12:47] ---
    There's always her!
[12:49] ---
    Noriko...!
[12:50] ---
    What the hell're you
    doing with Noriko-san?!
[12:55] ---
    Are you all right, Dad?!
[12:57] ---
    Eh?
[12:58] ---
    Even if she is poor and covered in dirt,
[13:01] ---
    she has beauty worthy of
    a gentle and pure heart!
[13:05] ---
    I bet I could get a lot for her!
[13:08] ---
    Oh, good thinking!
[13:11] ---
    Wait, no! Don't you have
    any blood or tears?!
[13:16] ---
    Nope.
[13:17] ---
    So how do you plan to get money
    out of this penniless family?
[13:23] ---
    As you said, there's not a thing here.
[13:26] ---
    This girl is the only thing worth money.
[13:29] ---
    How do you plan to collect on
    their debt without selling her?
[13:33] ---
    Aren't you known far and wide for
    always carrying out your jobs?
[13:44] ---
    I got it!
[13:45] ---
    We'll sell Noriko-san!
[13:47] ---
    But!
[13:48] ---
    I'm the one buyin' her!
[13:53] ---
    Therefore, I'll only pay off
    their loan with Akashio.
[13:57] ---
    You and the old fart can do
    something about the southern one!
[14:02] ---
    What an idiot. Looks like
    talking this out...
[14:05] ---
    ...is a waste of time!
[14:10] ---
    The winner gets Noriko-san!
[14:12] ---
    The loser thinks up another way
    to collect on their debt! Agreed?!
[14:17] ---
    Assuming the loser survives.
[14:18] ---
    Another thing -
[14:20] ---
    I won't let Noriko-san become
    a victim of your unsavory hobbies!
[14:24] ---
    I'd appreciate you not badmouthing
    other people's hobbies.
[14:28] ---
    What's goin' on?!
[14:29] ---
    This don't look so good!
[14:31] ---
    It's a duel! Supposedly between
    the Amagumo and Sunabouzu!
[14:36] ---
    Eh?!
[14:37] ---
    I sure hope that ain't true!
[14:40] ---
    Seems they're fighting
    over Koike-san's girl!
[14:45] ---
    A ghost and a god of death...
[14:47] ---
    Elder...?!
[14:49] ---
    Why are you here?!
[14:50] ---
    They must not be allowed to fight!
[14:52] ---
    The village will be blown away if they do!
[15:01] ---
    He appears out of nowhere
[15:07] ---
    and leaves unbeknownst to anyone
[15:12] ---
    He flies in the sky, burrows in the earth
[15:15] ---
    confuses and insults people
[15:18] ---
    to accomplish all his jobs
[15:25] ---
    The Ghost of the Desert - Sunabouzu!
[15:30] ---
    Sunabouzu! Sunabouzu!
[15:42] ---
    Elder...! Who's--
[15:44] ---
    Say no more.
[15:51] ---
    In spite of the dust storms,
    he doesn't let his prey escape
[15:59] ---
    He catches fleeing debtors
[16:02] ---
    Every last one a soulless, pitiable
[16:08] ---
    and disabled piece of garbage
[16:15] ---
    He's a true god of death
[16:18] ---
    A repo man!
[16:32] ---
    You seem to be quite popular.
[16:36] ---
    As do you.
[16:38] ---
    His skills are the real deal.
[16:40] ---
    But he basically relies on gadgets like me.
[16:44] ---
    Tricks meant for idiots
    won't work on him...!
[16:48] ---
    His mind is addled, but he
    must be famous for a reason.
[16:53] ---
    Plus, he's seen my tricks...
[16:57] ---
    This could turn into one helluva fight...!
[17:50] ---
    What is this?
[17:54] ---
    It's just an ordinary shootout...
[17:59] ---
    I tried too hard to anticipate
    how he'd attack!
[18:02] ---
    To think this would be such a
    degrading war of attrition...!
[18:05] ---
    Dammit! What a waste of ammo!
[18:10] ---
    Honey! You know you shouldn't wander about!
[18:16] ---
    Yoko-san. When is today's lunch?
[18:19] ---
    You just ate! Now come on home!
[18:26] ---
    Where the hell did you get that gun?!
[18:28] ---
    Where were you hiding yours?!
[18:31] ---
    Eat this!
[18:32] ---
    Oh, crap!
[18:35] ---
    Payback!
[18:40] ---
    Out of ammo and resorting to pistols...
    This is getting too lame!
[18:51] ---
    Die, punk!
[18:52] ---
    I'm gonna tear you a new one!
[18:58] ---
    Damn you! Give up already!
[19:00] ---
    I've had just about enough of you!
[19:02] ---
    Noriko-san is mine!
[19:04] ---
    Die, you lowlife perv!
[19:08] ---
    Ow! Damn you! I ain't gonna fall
    victim to your perversions, either!
[19:11] ---
    It's almost suppertime.
[19:13] ---
    Let's go.
[19:14] ---
    How lame...
[19:33] ---
    Amagumo-san... Your punches
    ain't so strong now...
[19:37] ---
    Ha! You can't even stand up straight!
[19:56] ---
    Finally found ya, Amagumo!
[19:58] ---
    --Time to pay for this morning...!
[19:59] ---
    --Finally found ya, Sunabouzu!
[20:01] ---
    Time to pay for this morning...!
[20:04] ---
    Time to pay!
[20:14] ---
    Ouch!
[20:15] ---
    What happened, Bro?
[20:45] ---
    Amagumo... You're pretty good...!
[20:48] ---
    You too, Sunabouzu...!
[20:54] ---
    A short break and then we'll continue!
[20:57] ---
    Yeah...
[21:07] ---
    Two I.O.U.s, all ours!
[21:12] ---
    You always make the due date
    on the day of Mom's death...!
[21:19] ---
    But we sure were lucky this time.
[21:22] ---
    One of them was a lowlife perv,
    so they trounced each other!
[21:29] ---
    Your mother was watching out for us!
[21:34] ---
    Don't be getting tomato juice
    on my clothes again!
[21:39] ---
    Now that we've burned the
    I.O.U.s and gotten out of debt,
[21:43] ---
    where should we borrow money from next?
[21:46] ---
    Oh, dear. Just be sure to buy
    me some new clothes!
[21:50] ---
    You know, living really is tough...
[21:55] ---
    Very tough.
[22:00] ---
    The Great Kanto Desert.
[22:01] ---
    In this world of survival of the
    fittest, the victor is right.
[22:07] ---
    The loser is a moron, garbage, and wrong.
[22:12] ---
    Men, women, old people, idiots, and
    scum all live here at full blast.
[22:18] ---
    Sunabouzu's Earnings for Today:
    - 1,693,452 yen
[22:20] ---
    Breakdown: - Repayment
    of Koike Kazuo's Loan
[22:22] ---
    -Job Expenses and Ammunition
    -Equipment Repair
[22:37] ---
    One circle... Two circles...
[22:45] ---
    One more big circle...
[22:49] ---
    A billowing raincoat...
    (It's a cape!)

[22:53] ---
    Oh, let's not forget
    the sunshade now...

[22:58] ---
    (His heart is pitch black!
    His heart is pitch black!)

[23:04] ---
    Give him a Winchester and
    suddenly you have Sunabouzu!

[23:20] ---
    He'll run again
    today! (Run again)

[23:24] ---
    Through the desert!
    (Even if forced to do jobs)

[23:28] ---
    He'll go forth again tomorrow!
    (Go forth again)

[23:31] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:33] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:35] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady!)
[23:37] ---
    He'll rush on ahead, life
    on the line! Rush on ahead!

[23:45] ---
    
[23:55] ---
    Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabouzu here!
[23:57] ---
    The boob lady next episode is--
    Eh? There isn't one?!
[24:00] ---
    -- And what if there isn't?!
    -- No! I need my boobies!
[24:03] ---
    The Sunabouzu, devastated.
[24:05] ---
    On the next Sunabouzu -
    Tank and Machine Guns
[24:07] ---
    Miss it and I won't pay up!