# 2 - Rock, Paper, Scissors
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/series/GR9P7MP06/desert-punk)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:13] ---**
"Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
**[00:17] ---**
*I am the one!*
**[00:20] ---**
*Push on ahead as you like, yeah*
**[00:24] ---**
*Oh, listen closely to me*
**[00:28] ---**
*and speak the name
of the desert god*
**[00:32] ---**
*Clench your teeth*
**[00:36] ---**
*When your heart starts
to tremble with heat...*
**[00:40] ---**
*Stop it! It'll only
bring destruction*
**[00:46] ---**
*Let's do it, oh, angel*
**[00:50] ---**
*Now is the time to
stand up and be strong*
**[00:54] ---**
*A sad history, a
hidden big story*
**[00:59] ---**
*That's the mystery*
**[01:02] ---**
*There's nothing certain
about what tomorrow holds*
**[01:10] ---**
*so living through this moment*
**[01:15] ---**
*is my mission alone*
**[01:31] ---**
"Water Station ♪22 - 1 km"
**[01:50] ---**
Noriko. Let's stop at the next village...
**[01:55] ---**
I'm fine.
**[01:59] ---**
I'm sorry I'm such a burden...
**[02:08] ---**
Dad...!
**[02:11] ---**
Are you alright, Dad?!
**[02:15] ---**
I'm truly sorry... I... I...!
**[02:21] ---**
You know you're not supposed to say it.
**[02:25] ---**
Noriko...!
**[02:27] ---**
Dad!
**[02:31] ---**
Noriko...!
**[02:34] ---**
Dad...?
**[02:36] ---**
Noriko!
**[02:40] ---**
Dad...?!
**[02:42] ---**
Dad!
**[02:48] ---**
Centuries after the collapse
of modern civilization...
**[02:51] ---**
The Great Kanto Desert...
**[02:54] ---**
In this world of survival of the fittest...
**[02:58] ---**
...the victor is right.
**[03:02] ---**
And the victor of this fight
is known and feared as a ghost.
**[03:09] ---**
The Handyman of the Desert. His name...
**[03:13] ---**
"Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
**[03:15] ---**
"Sand and Rain"
**[03:18] ---**
And...
**[03:19] ---**
...this...
**[03:21] ---**
...is the end...!
**[03:33] ---**
I shot yet another trifling thing.
**[03:36] ---**
I'm so hilarious!
**[03:39] ---**
Don't tell me you're...!
**[03:49] ---**
It's a piece of cake when
there's no chicks involved...
**[03:56] ---**
But those were some mighty good boobs...!
**[04:01] ---**
No!
**[04:02] ---**
I must never work with broads!
I must ignore them!
**[04:08] ---**
Especially ones with giant breasts!
**[04:11] ---**
From now on, it's only
innocent and lovely--
**[04:15] ---**
Hands up, jerk!
**[04:18] ---**
But slowly!
**[04:20] ---**
You scared or somethin'?!
**[04:23] ---**
Just make with the hands!
**[04:25] ---**
"Repo Man - Amagumo"
**[04:28] ---**
He can't even talk, Bro!
**[04:33] ---**
You're all show! Now hand over yer money!
**[04:37] ---**
They're goners...
**[04:39] ---**
He's like the greatest repo man there is!
**[04:42] ---**
They say when his hands move,
**[04:44] ---**
he collects not just money,
but souls too...!
**[04:49] ---**
So you want me to take my hands out?
**[04:52] ---**
Yeah...!
**[04:54] ---**
Just do what we say and we won't kill ya...
**[05:07] ---**
Ouch...!
**[05:08] ---**
What the hell is this?!
**[05:12] ---**
Thread...? Damn you...!
**[05:17] ---**
I took my hands out. What should I do next?
**[05:32] ---**
--Ow, ow!
**[05:33] ---**
--Ow, ow!
**[05:34] ---**
Kill us!
**[05:36] ---**
We can't go back to town
like this, you brute!
**[05:40] ---**
Yeah! We'd never hear the end of it!
**[05:43] ---**
We'd rather die!
**[05:45] ---**
Is that so?
**[05:48] ---**
Just kidding!
**[05:50] ---**
We'll buy some undies!
**[05:51] ---**
They're no fun...
**[05:52] ---**
How uncool...
**[05:56] ---**
So, collecting souls means
tearing people's pride to shreds?
**[06:01] ---**
I consider it reimbursement.
**[06:03] ---**
So it was the famous Sunabouzu
who was spying on me, huh?
**[06:08] ---**
Oh, you noticed? Pretty slick, Amagumo!
**[06:12] ---**
We've never met before, though...
**[06:14] ---**
The Sunabouzu is the talk of
the Kanto region somewhat...
**[06:21] ---**
I got a look at how you work
**[06:24] ---**
and at how skilled the ♪1 repo man
in the tiny Kanto area really is!
**[06:29] ---**
How I'd love to see the
clever techniques of the guy
**[06:33] ---**
who bullies people
to make a name for himself.
**[06:35] ---**
Who knows, you just might be
able to experience 'em firsthand!
**[06:45] ---**
Hey!
**[06:46] ---**
One of these days. I have
pressing business to attend to.
**[06:50] ---**
That's too bad!
**[06:53] ---**
Ran into a creep first
thing in the morning...
**[06:55] ---**
Today's not my lucky day.
**[07:05] ---**
My, that was fast.
**[07:08] ---**
So what's my next job?
**[07:08] ---**
"Handyman Guild - Mugenya"
**[07:11] ---**
Just a minute...
**[07:19] ---**
Mommy, I'm hungry...!
**[07:22] ---**
Here we are. Water Station ♪22.
**[07:25] ---**
A Koike Kazuo-san lives there,
**[07:29] ---**
and Akashio Financial wants someone
to collect on his unpaid loan.
**[07:37] ---**
Let's see... 29-3...
**[07:40] ---**
29-3... Is this it?
**[07:45] ---**
Talk about ghetto...
**[07:48] ---**
Hello! Is Koike Kazuo-san home?
**[07:56] ---**
Oh?
**[08:01] ---**
Koike-san is an acquaintance of yours?
**[08:05] ---**
I have no acquaintance this
incredibly stupid or poor.
**[08:10] ---**
But if a repo man like you
is here, does that mean--
**[08:15] ---**
I'm obviously here to collect on a debt!
**[08:18] ---**
Koike-san borrowed money from
Oshio Financial in the South Oasis
**[08:22] ---**
and today's the repayment due date...
**[08:26] ---**
Unfortunately, I'm told he
doesn't have a single cent...
**[08:30] ---**
Damn, this isn't looking good...
**[08:33] ---**
Incidentally, what's a handyman doing here?
**[08:39] ---**
Hold on, you old fart!
**[08:40] ---**
You swindled money
from two places at once?!
**[08:44] ---**
Give back the money you
borrowed from Akashio!
**[08:47] ---**
"I.O.U."
**[08:48] ---**
What...?!
**[08:50] ---**
He owes Akashio today, too!
**[08:52] ---**
You got some guts making
both repayment days the same!
**[08:58] ---**
Hand it over! Hand it over right now!
**[09:00] ---**
Hey! Hold on! I was here first!
**[09:03] ---**
So what?! First one to get repaid wins!
**[09:06] ---**
--What?!
**[09:06] ---**
--Damn you...!
**[09:08] ---**
Just give up and go home!
**[09:09] ---**
You know I can't do that!
**[09:11] ---**
Why're you ransacking the house?!
**[09:13] ---**
It's finders-keepers!
**[09:27] ---**
There's not a damn thing there!
**[09:29] ---**
And the place reeks like mad!
**[09:34] ---**
I'm sorry. In my condition,
I can't even work enough to--
**[09:40] ---**
Koike-san.
**[09:43] ---**
Do you know how people can
make a living lending money
**[09:48] ---**
in this lawless region?
**[09:49] ---**
No...
**[09:50] ---**
Because no matter the obstacles,
no matter how much they resist,
**[09:55] ---**
we hunt down creditors
and capture them alive.
**[09:59] ---**
Yes, it's because there are
professional repo men like us around.
**[10:07] ---**
And we use any means necessary
to always get the money repaid.
**[10:13] ---**
I'm known far and wide for
always carrying out my jobs!
**[10:16] ---**
And I don't show mercy
to sick, old geezers!
**[10:20] ---**
Dad...!
**[10:24] ---**
A babe! A little dusty, though...
**[10:27] ---**
What are you doing to my father?!
**[10:33] ---**
I see. So you were working in
place of your sick father...
**[10:39] ---**
I'm sorry. I knew today was the due date...
**[10:43] ---**
But wasn't that clearly too much
money for a woman to work off?
**[10:49] ---**
Yes. I worked myself to the bone, but...
**[10:56] ---**
Just when I found a job
at a printing plant,
**[10:59] ---**
its owner was murdered by bandits...
**[11:02] ---**
Get lost!
**[11:04] ---**
...and I never got paid...
**[11:08] ---**
And my job of hauling things...
**[11:11] ---**
As a girl, I couldn't keep at it long...!
**[11:16] ---**
And the side job I finally found...
**[11:25] ---**
I'm just so clumsy...!
**[11:31] ---**
Forgive me, Noriko. I'm so worthless...
**[11:37] ---**
Are you alright, Dad?!
**[11:39] ---**
It's not your fault; that
stupid illness is to blame!
**[11:43] ---**
No, I've burdened everyone...
Even your mother...
**[11:47] ---**
Oh, Dad... You know you're
not supposed to say it.
**[11:53] ---**
Noriko...!
**[11:58] ---**
Don't worry! Let's work hard together!
**[12:03] ---**
Oh, dear. Not in front of company, Dad...
**[12:08] ---**
Um...
**[12:10] ---**
I could maybe convince Akashio...
**[12:14] ---**
Eh?!
**[12:16] ---**
...to wait 10 days or so...
**[12:20] ---**
Really...?!
**[12:22] ---**
M-maybe...
**[12:29] ---**
What?!
**[12:30] ---**
Nothing...
**[12:32] ---**
Liar!
**[12:32] ---**
I know you're thinking, "What a
softy," or, "He fell for her charm!"
**[12:38] ---**
But what else is there? Tearing
this place up won't get us anything!
**[12:43] ---**
I wouldn't be so sure.
**[12:45] ---**
No!
**[12:47] ---**
There's always her!
**[12:49] ---**
Noriko...!
**[12:50] ---**
What the hell're you
doing with Noriko-san?!
**[12:55] ---**
Are you all right, Dad?!
**[12:57] ---**
Eh?
**[12:58] ---**
Even if she is poor and covered in dirt,
**[13:01] ---**
she has beauty worthy of
a gentle and pure heart!
**[13:05] ---**
I bet I could get a lot for her!
**[13:08] ---**
Oh, good thinking!
**[13:11] ---**
Wait, no! Don't you have
any blood or tears?!
**[13:16] ---**
Nope.
**[13:17] ---**
So how do you plan to get money
out of this penniless family?
**[13:23] ---**
As you said, there's not a thing here.
**[13:26] ---**
This girl is the only thing worth money.
**[13:29] ---**
How do you plan to collect on
their debt without selling her?
**[13:33] ---**
Aren't you known far and wide for
always carrying out your jobs?
**[13:44] ---**
I got it!
**[13:45] ---**
We'll sell Noriko-san!
**[13:47] ---**
But!
**[13:48] ---**
I'm the one buyin' her!
**[13:53] ---**
Therefore, I'll only pay off
their loan with Akashio.
**[13:57] ---**
You and the old fart can do
something about the southern one!
**[14:02] ---**
What an idiot. Looks like
talking this out...
**[14:05] ---**
...is a waste of time!
**[14:10] ---**
The winner gets Noriko-san!
**[14:12] ---**
The loser thinks up another way
to collect on their debt! Agreed?!
**[14:17] ---**
Assuming the loser survives.
**[14:18] ---**
Another thing -
**[14:20] ---**
I won't let Noriko-san become
a victim of your unsavory hobbies!
**[14:24] ---**
I'd appreciate you not badmouthing
other people's hobbies.
**[14:28] ---**
What's goin' on?!
**[14:29] ---**
This don't look so good!
**[14:31] ---**
It's a duel! Supposedly between
the Amagumo and Sunabouzu!
**[14:36] ---**
Eh?!
**[14:37] ---**
I sure hope that ain't true!
**[14:40] ---**
Seems they're fighting
over Koike-san's girl!
**[14:45] ---**
A ghost and a god of death...
**[14:47] ---**
Elder...?!
**[14:49] ---**
Why are you here?!
**[14:50] ---**
They must not be allowed to fight!
**[14:52] ---**
The village will be blown away if they do!
**[15:01] ---**
He appears out of nowhere
**[15:07] ---**
and leaves unbeknownst to anyone
**[15:12] ---**
He flies in the sky, burrows in the earth
**[15:15] ---**
confuses and insults people
**[15:18] ---**
to accomplish all his jobs
**[15:25] ---**
The Ghost of the Desert - Sunabouzu!
**[15:30] ---**
Sunabouzu! Sunabouzu!
**[15:42] ---**
Elder...! Who's--
**[15:44] ---**
Say no more.
**[15:51] ---**
In spite of the dust storms,
he doesn't let his prey escape
**[15:59] ---**
He catches fleeing debtors
**[16:02] ---**
Every last one a soulless, pitiable
**[16:08] ---**
and disabled piece of garbage
**[16:15] ---**
He's a true god of death
**[16:18] ---**
A repo man!
**[16:32] ---**
You seem to be quite popular.
**[16:36] ---**
As do you.
**[16:38] ---**
His skills are the real deal.
**[16:40] ---**
But he basically relies on gadgets like me.
**[16:44] ---**
Tricks meant for idiots
won't work on him...!
**[16:48] ---**
His mind is addled, but he
must be famous for a reason.
**[16:53] ---**
Plus, he's seen my tricks...
**[16:57] ---**
This could turn into one helluva fight...!
**[17:50] ---**
What is this?
**[17:54] ---**
It's just an ordinary shootout...
**[17:59] ---**
I tried too hard to anticipate
how he'd attack!
**[18:02] ---**
To think this would be such a
degrading war of attrition...!
**[18:05] ---**
Dammit! What a waste of ammo!
**[18:10] ---**
Honey! You know you shouldn't wander about!
**[18:16] ---**
Yoko-san. When is today's lunch?
**[18:19] ---**
You just ate! Now come on home!
**[18:26] ---**
Where the hell did you get that gun?!
**[18:28] ---**
Where were you hiding yours?!
**[18:31] ---**
Eat this!
**[18:32] ---**
Oh, crap!
**[18:35] ---**
Payback!
**[18:40] ---**
Out of ammo and resorting to pistols...
This is getting too lame!
**[18:51] ---**
Die, punk!
**[18:52] ---**
I'm gonna tear you a new one!
**[18:58] ---**
Damn you! Give up already!
**[19:00] ---**
I've had just about enough of you!
**[19:02] ---**
Noriko-san is mine!
**[19:04] ---**
Die, you lowlife perv!
**[19:08] ---**
Ow! Damn you! I ain't gonna fall
victim to your perversions, either!
**[19:11] ---**
It's almost suppertime.
**[19:13] ---**
Let's go.
**[19:14] ---**
How lame...
**[19:33] ---**
Amagumo-san... Your punches
ain't so strong now...
**[19:37] ---**
Ha! You can't even stand up straight!
**[19:56] ---**
Finally found ya, Amagumo!
**[19:58] ---**
--Time to pay for this morning...!
**[19:59] ---**
--Finally found ya, Sunabouzu!
**[20:01] ---**
Time to pay for this morning...!
**[20:04] ---**
Time to pay!
**[20:14] ---**
Ouch!
**[20:15] ---**
What happened, Bro?
**[20:45] ---**
Amagumo... You're pretty good...!
**[20:48] ---**
You too, Sunabouzu...!
**[20:54] ---**
A short break and then we'll continue!
**[20:57] ---**
Yeah...
**[21:07] ---**
Two I.O.U.s, all ours!
**[21:12] ---**
You always make the due date
on the day of Mom's death...!
**[21:19] ---**
But we sure were lucky this time.
**[21:22] ---**
One of them was a lowlife perv,
so they trounced each other!
**[21:29] ---**
Your mother was watching out for us!
**[21:34] ---**
Don't be getting tomato juice
on my clothes again!
**[21:39] ---**
Now that we've burned the
I.O.U.s and gotten out of debt,
**[21:43] ---**
where should we borrow money from next?
**[21:46] ---**
Oh, dear. Just be sure to buy
me some new clothes!
**[21:50] ---**
You know, living really is tough...
**[21:55] ---**
Very tough.
**[22:00] ---**
The Great Kanto Desert.
**[22:01] ---**
In this world of survival of the
fittest, the victor is right.
**[22:07] ---**
The loser is a moron, garbage, and wrong.
**[22:12] ---**
Men, women, old people, idiots, and
scum all live here at full blast.
**[22:18] ---**
Sunabouzu's Earnings for Today:
- 1,693,452 yen
**[22:20] ---**
Breakdown: - Repayment
of Koike Kazuo's Loan
**[22:22] ---**
-Job Expenses and Ammunition
-Equipment Repair
**[22:37] ---**
*One circle... Two circles...*
**[22:45] ---**
*One more big circle...*
**[22:49] ---**
*A billowing raincoat...
(It's a cape!)*
**[22:53] ---**
*Oh, let's not forget
the sunshade now...*
**[22:58] ---**
*(His heart is pitch black!
His heart is pitch black!)*
**[23:04] ---**
*Give him a Winchester and
suddenly you have Sunabouzu!*
**[23:20] ---**
*He'll run again
today! (Run again)*
**[23:24] ---**
*Through the desert!
(Even if forced to do jobs)*
**[23:28] ---**
*He'll go forth again tomorrow!
(Go forth again)*
**[23:31] ---**
*(Until he gets the Boobie Lady)*
**[23:33] ---**
*(Until he gets the Boobie Lady)*
**[23:35] ---**
*(Until he gets the Boobie Lady!)*
**[23:37] ---**
*He'll rush on ahead, life
on the line! Rush on ahead!*
**[23:45] ---**
**[23:55] ---**
Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabouzu here!
**[23:57] ---**
The boob lady next episode is--
Eh? There isn't one?!
**[24:00] ---**
-- And what if there isn't?!
-- No! I need my boobies!
**[24:03] ---**
The Sunabouzu, devastated.
**[24:05] ---**
On the next Sunabouzu -
Tank and Machine Guns
**[24:07] ---**
Miss it and I won't pay up!