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7 - Age Before Beauty

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:13] ---
    "Sunabouzu - Desert Punk"
[00:17] ---
    I am the one!
[00:20] ---
    Push on ahead as you like, yeah
[00:24] ---
    Oh, listen closely to me
[00:28] ---
    and speak the name
    of the desert god

[00:32] ---
    Clench your teeth
[00:36] ---
    When your heart starts
    to tremble with heat...

[00:40] ---
    Stop it! It'll only
    bring destruction

[00:46] ---
    Let's do it, oh, angel
[00:50] ---
    Now is the time to
    stand up and be strong

[00:54] ---
    A sad history, a
    hidden big story

[00:59] ---
    That's the mystery
[01:02] ---
    There's nothing certain
    about what tomorrow holds

[01:10] ---
    so living through this moment
[01:15] ---
    is my mission alone
[01:49] ---
    Die!
[01:50] ---
    My left arm...!
[01:53] ---
    It jammed...!
[01:57] ---
    Huh?
[02:29] ---
    Huh?!
[02:30] ---
    It wasn't me?
[02:33] ---
    I saved the Sunabozu's life!
[02:39] ---
    You...!
[02:45] ---
    Who're you, again?
[02:47] ---
    Taiko! Koizumi Taiko!
[02:47] ---
    "Master and Pupil"
[02:54] ---
    You didn't notice me following you?
[02:56] ---
    That's what you get for working
    before you're fully recovered...!
[03:02] ---
    After all, you did get stranded!
[03:06] ---
    What a lost cause!
[03:08] ---
    You not only got stranded,
    but had to be rescued
[03:10] ---
    by your rivals, the Kawaguchi brothers!
[03:14] ---
    You're sure well-informed...!
[03:15] ---
    Well, you are my master!
[03:18] ---
    Get lost! You'll never be my pupil,
    even if you follow me everywhere!
[03:21] ---
    No! I'll keep following you
    even if you don't make me your pupil!
[03:25] ---
    Why do you wanna be my pupil anyway?!
[03:29] ---
    Isn't it obvious?
[03:31] ---
    To be stronger than any man!
    To be more beautiful than anything!
[03:35] ---
    And to possess a wise and
    clear intellect and beat up bad guys!
[03:42] ---
    Yes! To be the most skilled beauty
    in the Great Kanto Desert!
[03:50] ---
    Oh, my future self is so wonderful...!
[03:57] ---
    Hey! Wait for me, Master!
[04:02] ---
    "Water Station ♪30"
[04:02] ---
    Welcome!
[04:03] ---
    Come on in!
[04:11] ---
    Yo, Kan-chan! Sounds like
    you had a tough time! You ok?!
[04:15] ---
    Hey, Sunabozu! Don't get yer ass stranded!
[04:19] ---
    Life's long, so all
    kinds of things will happen!
[04:23] ---
    Don't listen to 'em,
    even if you did get stranded!
[04:27] ---
    It's that Sunabozu guy who got stranded!
[04:30] ---
    Let's go before we get dumb too!
[04:33] ---
    You're quite the celebrity, Master!
[04:36] ---
    Why?! Why?!
[04:38] ---
    The Sunabozu?
[04:39] ---
    Yep! We saved his butt!
[04:43] ---
    The minute he saw us, he was all crying
    and saying how he was saved!
[04:51] ---
    Haruo! Are you the one spreading rumors?!
[04:55] ---
    --Damn you!
[04:55] ---
    --Eh?! Despite being a handyman?!
[04:58] ---
    He's so completely pathetic.
[05:01] ---
    If he had any sense of shame,
    he'd never set foot in this town again.
[05:07] ---
    How lame!
[05:08] ---
    He even pissed off the villagers
    who hired him as a bodyguard!
[05:11] ---
    And then he gets stranded...!
[05:14] ---
    How dare you brothers
    spread untrue rumors about me...!
[05:21] ---
    What's so funny?! Huh?!
[05:23] ---
    You know it's funny, loser!
[05:29] ---
    How uncool!
[05:31] ---
    Yeah, loser!
[05:33] ---
    This calls for another bomb
    in their toilet...!
[05:38] ---
    Wow! That was pathetic, Master!
[05:42] ---
    Anyway, Master, about being your pupil--
[05:45] ---
    Oh! If it isn't Kanta-kun!
[05:48] ---
    I hear you had a rough time.
    Are you all better now?
[05:53] ---
    Oh, Mizuta-kun...!
[05:56] ---
    I'm so envious!
[05:58] ---
    How I'd love to live a life of
    thrills and adventure as you do!
[06:02] ---
    No!
[06:04] ---
    Mizuta-kun! Don't do anything dangerous!
[06:06] ---
    Hey! You're too close to Wataru-san!
[06:08] ---
    Calling him by his given name?!
    You suck-up!
[06:12] ---
    Come, now! Let's all just get along!
[06:19] ---
    See you later, Kanta-kun!
[06:21] ---
    You really must tell me
    about your adventures sometime!
[06:25] ---
    Who was that pompous man?
[06:30] ---
    I'm so jealous...
[06:31] ---
    Eh?
[06:32] ---
    Mizuta Wataru, 20, unemployed.
[06:35] ---
    Always has over 10 girlfriends.
[06:38] ---
    Also known as the Harem Prince.
[06:40] ---
    A miracle man who's
    supported by his women!
[06:42] ---
    Ick! How pathetic!
[06:44] ---
    Fool! How can you say that?!
[06:48] ---
    Living every single day in happiness,
    surrounded by gorgeous women!
[06:53] ---
    The ultimate male dream!
    Such romanticism!
[06:59] ---
    Lame.
[07:01] ---
    A real man...
[07:04] ---
    ...works and fights as he sweats blood!
[07:07] ---
    He protects his family from the
    cruel environment and vile fiends!
[07:10] ---
    He wins his food and brings it home!
[07:14] ---
    Ooh, oily...!
[07:18] ---
    Yes, that is a real man!
[07:22] ---
    You're hardcore in more ways than one...
[07:29] ---
    I'm not at full strength,
    and now I'm a laughingstock...
[07:33] ---
    Man, I am so jealous of Mizuta-kun...!
[07:37] ---
    That's just it! If you make me
    your pupil, you'll never be lonely!
[07:41] ---
    Plus I can help take care of you!
[07:44] ---
    Maybe I'd consider one
    of Mizuta-kun's hotties,
[07:47] ---
    but not some puny,
    flat-chested runt like you...!
[07:53] ---
    It appears the time to show it has come!
[07:58] ---
    Stop! I don't wanna see your no-boobs!
[08:01] ---
    Here it is!
[08:06] ---
    She's one hot mama!
[08:08] ---
    Isn't she?
[08:09] ---
    W-who is she?!
[08:11] ---
    My mother!
[08:14] ---
    Understand now? I'm the
    daughter of this "hot mama"!
[08:20] ---
    Which means that I have
    the same genes as her...!
[08:35] ---
    Alright! I'll test you!
[08:40] ---
    Get your bug dumplings here!
[08:41] ---
    30% off all used items today!
[08:45] ---
    Exactly how are you
    going to test me, Master?
[08:49] ---
    Uh huh...
[08:50] ---
    Master...!
[08:52] ---
    Master...?
[08:54] ---
    Master?!
[08:55] ---
    That alright?
[08:56] ---
    I suppose...
[08:57] ---
    Master! What're you doing? Why--
[09:00] ---
    Things're all set here.
[09:01] ---
    Eh?
[09:01] ---
    Oh, is that her?
[09:03] ---
    Eh?
[09:04] ---
    She's a tiny one,
    but there's plenty of work for her...
[09:07] ---
    Eh?
[09:08] ---
    I'm not fully better after all,
    so you can do some jobs for a while...
[09:13] ---
    Eh?!
[09:15] ---
    Let's see, first off
    is Hashimoto-san's request!
[09:18] ---
    W-w-wait!
[09:21] ---
    I want to be a super-skilled beauty...!
[09:24] ---
    Fool!
[09:25] ---
    Didn't you say you
    wanted to be my pupil?!
[09:27] ---
    Yes...!
[09:28] ---
    Didn't you say you'd
    do anything I say?!
[09:30] ---
    Yes!
[09:30] ---
    Then listen...!
[09:32] ---
    Being a handyman is the coolest
    and most hardcore job in the desert!
[09:37] ---
    Whether or not I make you my pupil
    depends on how you handle it!
[09:45] ---
    Understood! I'll do it! So I can
    be a super-skilled beauty...!
[09:50] ---
    Alright, then!
[10:06] ---
    It's too much...!
[10:10] ---
    That's a might
    lotta fertilizer ya gathered!
[10:13] ---
    Thank you...!
[10:15] ---
    Oh, could I also ask ya
    to deliver somethin'?
[10:19] ---
    Eh?!
[10:19] ---
    Oh? I'd done heard handymen'll
    do anythin' for money...
[10:25] ---
    A-all right!
[10:29] ---
    This is the life!
    Raking it in just sitting here!
[10:36] ---
    Yeah. Yeah!
[10:38] ---
    It's obvious why I've had
    no luck with girls so far!
[10:48] ---
    They were all strong, independent women!
[10:52] ---
    But this time I'll take that
    lower-than-garbage, genderless brat
[10:55] ---
    and reforge her mind, body, and spirit!
[11:05] ---
    I can't reach the button in back...
[11:09] ---
    I'll mold her into a
    proficient assistant handyman!
[11:17] ---
    Oh, you! Don't touch me there!
[11:20] ---
    Sorry...!
[11:22] ---
    I, with my own two hands,
    shall raise my ideal woman!
[11:29] ---
    Oh, Wataru-san! Kiss me!
[11:31] ---
    No, me!
[11:33] ---
    Oh, my! Whatever shall I do?
[11:38] ---
    You're thinking way too small,
    Mizuta-kun...!
[11:42] ---
    First, I'll use that runt
    as a guinea pig,
[11:46] ---
    and then in the future,
    gather all the ideal women I raised!
[11:50] ---
    In this desert, I shall build
    an Amusement Land all my own!
[12:15] ---
    Delivery for you...!
[12:20] ---
    Delivery for you!
[12:24] ---
    Delivery for you!
[12:27] ---
    Um, delivery from Hashimoto-san!
[12:32] ---
    Yes, this year I am 89 years old...
[12:46] ---
    I can't see inside...!
[12:58] ---
    Hey, runt! Take this one too!
[13:11] ---
    This job'll be a cinch!
[13:13] ---
    Hey! Start shoutin' your spiel!
[13:15] ---
    Right!
[13:16] ---
    Come one, come all!
    Always 30% to 40% off!
[13:20] ---
    The newly-renovated Insect Shop!
[13:27] ---
    Not loud enough.
[13:29] ---
    Right! Always 30% to 40% off!
[13:33] ---
    Can't hear you!
[13:34] ---
    The newly-renovated Insect Shop!
[13:36] ---
    Louder!
[13:37] ---
    Always 30% to 40% off!
[13:39] ---
    Say it louder!
[13:41] ---
    Um, there's no one around...
[13:44] ---
    I don't care! Now start from the top!
[13:48] ---
    Always 30% to 40% off!
    The newly-renovated Insect Shop!
[13:55] ---
    Always 30% to--
[13:56] ---
    "Water Parlor"
[14:06] ---
    Well?
[14:07] ---
    It's horrible! And uncool...!
[14:11] ---
    What are you doing?
[14:12] ---
    Master! I can't go on...!
[14:16] ---
    You're a handyman. Handymen are
    handy 'cause they do anything.
[14:20] ---
    Yes, but...!
[14:22] ---
    But I want to do real jobs
    like help you get rid of bandits!
[14:29] ---
    Taiko. Do you know why
    I was able to beat Onuma Jiro?
[14:36] ---
    'Cause I'm a super-skilled handyman!
[14:43] ---
    At the time, the conditions
    were in his favor.
[14:46] ---
    But it was because I'm a handyman
    that I'm alive today!
[14:52] ---
    He was definitely
    a top-class sharpshooter.
[14:55] ---
    He must've trained quite a lot.
[14:58] ---
    But that's all he had going for him.
[15:02] ---
    Yes! Fighting and living are the same!
[15:06] ---
    Ever-changing conditions!
    Unpredictable storms of change!
[15:12] ---
    One must promptly and accurately
    ascertain situations during these
[15:15] ---
    and move with swiftness and flexibility!
[15:17] ---
    Confidence backed up by your
    flexible brain and abundant experience!
[15:22] ---
    The only way to achieve that
    is to experience many things!
[15:26] ---
    And the ones who can do that
    while earning money
[15:29] ---
    are those known as handymen!
[15:38] ---
    Well? Cool, huh?
[15:41] ---
    V-v-very!
[15:45] ---
    Master! I'll go work my very hardest!
[15:49] ---
    Good! Think of it all as
    personal fertilizer as you do so!
[15:53] ---
    Right!
[16:01] ---
    Now to use this chance
    to spend a bunch of money!
[16:09] ---
    Oh, Kan-chan!
[16:11] ---
    Yo. I'm here to pick up Taiko's pay.
[16:14] ---
    Oh, right.
[16:17] ---
    What should I buy first?!
[16:18] ---
    Here you are.
[16:22] ---
    What's this?
[16:23] ---
    Her bill.
[16:24] ---
    Eh?
[16:25] ---
    I advanced the money,
    so I'll need you to pay immediately.
[16:29] ---
    W-wha--
[16:31] ---
    What?!
[16:37] ---
    I'm not so sure
    about that girl, Kan-chan.
[16:40] ---
    She trips and scatters fertilizer,
    fills chimneys with soot,
[16:44] ---
    and breaks goods she's delivering.
[16:47] ---
    She's a real mess!
[16:48] ---
    Eh?! Really?!
[16:50] ---
    Yep! He's all talk! He's really
    nothing great, that Sunabozu!
[16:59] ---
    Yeah, that girl took jobs
    under your name...
[17:04] ---
    That can't be good.
[17:07] ---
    And you got stranded the other day,
[17:09] ---
    so your reputation's
    taken a big nosedive lately.
[17:21] ---
    Where is she?! I heard she's
    walking the Heracles Goldion Beetle
[17:24] ---
    for Kawahara-san on 4th Street, but...!
[17:31] ---
    What's that smoke...?
[17:38] ---
    That smells great...!
[17:58] ---
    Master!
[17:59] ---
    You dumbass...!
[18:01] ---
    But I was hungry!
[18:03] ---
    He told you this Heracles Gol-- Um...
[18:09] ---
    This bug with the complicated
    name is a legendary insect
[18:12] ---
    that's dear to our client,
    the rich Kawahara-san!
[18:16] ---
    But aren't bugs meant to be eaten?!
[18:18] ---
    It's not normal to feed them
    and take them for walks!
[18:22] ---
    Rich people are weirdos! And yet, you--
[18:33] ---
    Don't hit me!
[18:39] ---
    Ouch! Stop!
[18:51] ---
    Hello...!
[18:52] ---
    Oh! Tama-chan! Did you
    enjoy your little walkie?
[18:59] ---
    What are you doing?
[19:01] ---
    You'll break, err, uh...
[19:03] ---
    Hand her here this instant!
[19:05] ---
    No!
[19:17] ---
    What have you done
    to my poor Tama-chan...?!
[19:20] ---
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
[19:23] ---
    --Tama-chan was pedigreed
    and very expensive!
[19:25] ---
    --Just endure it!
[19:26] ---
    --What on earth do you
    have to say for yourself?!
[19:27] ---
    --It's for my big long-term plan...!
[19:28] ---
    --I did have my doubts, seeing
    as you were stranded recently...!
[19:31] ---
    I should've known better!
[19:32] ---
    I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
    I swear I'll make it up to you!
[19:35] ---
    On my honor as the Sunabozu!
[19:50] ---
    I'm in huge debt again...
[19:56] ---
    Oh, if it isn't Kanta-kun!
[19:59] ---
    What're you doing here?
[20:04] ---
    Oh, Mizuta-kun...!
[20:09] ---
    Just watching the sun go down...
[20:11] ---
    Ah...
[20:14] ---
    What a pretty sunset...
[20:18] ---
    Yeah...
[20:19] ---
    You don't seem in very high spirits.
    And what happened to your face?
[20:24] ---
    Well, you see...
[20:27] ---
    I'll kill you first, and then me!
[20:29] ---
    Stop!
[20:30] ---
    So I was just your toy...
[20:34] ---
    And me...
[20:35] ---
    And me...
[20:36] ---
    And me...
[20:38] ---
    W-wait! I can explain!
    My love is eternal!
[20:43] ---
    Eternal...!
[20:48] ---
    I tried to love them all equally,
    but things turned a bit sour...
[20:53] ---
    I'd say more than "a bit"...
[20:55] ---
    Whoops. I gotta go
    apologize to Izumi-chan next.
[20:59] ---
    See you, Kanta-kun.
[21:01] ---
    Yeah. See you later...
[21:09] ---
    Hmm. I guess even
    Mizuta-kun has it tough...
[21:22] ---
    Yeah. I'll hafta work hard, too...!
[21:25] ---
    For my dream...
[21:39] ---
    Found ya!
[21:40] ---
    Soon after, people began to spot
    an odd pair in the Great Kanto Desert.
[21:46] ---
    Ok! We attack on my signal!
[21:48] ---
    Right, Master!
[21:51] ---
    The Sunabozu and his pupil, Kosuna.
[21:53] ---
    But between them was
    neither respect nor trust...
[22:00] ---
    ...only revolting desires
    and devious selfishness.
[22:04] ---
    May happiness come
    to this wretched pair...!
[22:08] ---
    Let's do it, Kosuna!
[22:10] ---
    Right, Master!
[22:39] ---
    One circle... Two circles...
[22:47] ---
    One more big circle...
[22:51] ---
    A billowing raincoat...
    (It's a cape!)

[22:55] ---
    Oh, let's not forget
    the sunshade now...

[23:00] ---
    (His heart is pitch black!
    His heart is pitch black!)

[23:06] ---
    Give him a Winchester and
    suddenly you have Sunabouzu!

[23:22] ---
    He'll run again
    today! (Run again)

[23:25] ---
    Through the desert!
    (Even if forced to do jobs)

[23:29] ---
    He'll go forth again tomorrow!
    (Go forth again)

[23:33] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:35] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady)
[23:37] ---
    (Until he gets the Boobie Lady!)
[23:39] ---
    He'll rush on ahead, life
    on the line! Rush on ahead!

[23:47] ---
    
[23:57] ---
    Yo! Ghost of the Desert, Sunabozu here!
[23:58] ---
    Sorry about this episode!
    There were no boobies to be had!
[24:01] ---
    That's all right, Master!
    Having none has its advantages, too!
[24:04] ---
    --Like that makes me any happier!
    --You're hopeless...
[24:06] ---
    On the next Sunabozu-
    "Dog-Girl and Rock"
[24:09] ---
    Miss it and there'll be
    even less boobies!