E - OAD

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:11] Girl
    That boy is so hot!
[00:13] Girl
    Is he a model?
[00:14] Girl
    He's got really great skin, too.
[00:16] Masa
    My hotness is on point again today.
[00:18] Masa
    I'm hot, both smart and athletic,
    and both beautiful and witty.
[00:21] Masa
    Is there a more perfect man than me?
[00:26] Masa
    Of course there's not!
SIGN    "Of Course, My Mom..."
[02:02] Masa
    Today's workout regimen consists of front
    planks, plank leg raises, and push-ups.
[02:07] Haruka
    Welcome home, Maa-kun!
[02:11] Masa
    Would you act your age for once, you old hag?!
[02:14] Haruka
    Owie...
[02:17] Masa
    How old are you?
     Would you give that up already?!
[02:22] Haruka
    Maa-kun, you dummy! I'm in the fifth grade!
[02:26] Masa
    Huh? Are you still half-asleep?
[02:30] Mom
    Oh, dear. Maa-kun, you know better
    than to be mean to little girls.
[02:35] Masa
    Huh?!
[02:37] Mom
    You don't remember her?
     She's Asae-neesan's little Haruka-chan.
[02:42] Masa
    Aunt... Asae?
[02:45] Mom
    Yes. Haruka-chan is your cousin, Maa-kun.
[02:48] Mom
    Has it been about a year
     since you last saw each other?
[02:50] Haruka
    Uh-huh...
[02:51] Masa
    Haruka?
[02:53] Masa
    Haruka? I've heard that name before.
[02:56] Masa
    Oh, yeah. That was right around
    the time I finally got skinny.
[02:57] (Flashback) Guy
    Thank you all for gathering here today.
[03:00] (Flashback) Guy
    Eat plenty, drink plenty,
    and enjoy yourselves.
[03:08] (Flashback) Masa
    What?
[03:09] (Flashback) Haruka
    Masamune-oniichan!
[03:13] Masa
    Oh, she's that pudgy little pudding!
[03:17] Masa
    Man, you sure do look a lot like the loli hag.
[03:20] Masa
    I mean... You sure have grown in a year! Yeah!
[03:23] Chinatsu
    Onii-chan!
[03:24] Chinatsu
    Why did you make Mom cry again?
[03:28] Masa
    Wait, no! She's not—
[03:29] Chinatsu
    She's not what? You horrible son!
[03:33] Asae
    Oh, Masamune-kun and Chinatsu-chan.
    I see you're as close as ever.
[03:44] Chinatsu
    Auntie?
[03:45] Asae
    I wish I could've had an older
    brother for Haruka, too.
[03:49] Mom
    You've still got time, Nee-san.
[03:52] Asae
    You think so?
     Maybe I'll give it another try.
[03:55] Mom
    I'll be cheering you on.
     Right, Haruka-chan?
[03:57] Haruka
    You can do it, Mommy!
[04:00] Masa
    Just how are you going to do that?
[04:04] Masa
    Guess they really are sisters.
[04:06] Masa
    Seriously, though, they all
    look way too much alike.
[04:09] Masa
    Is our hag some kind of monster?
[04:13] Chinatsu
    Come over here for a sec!
[04:15] Mom
    What is it, Chinatsu-chan?
[04:28] Chinatsu
    Here, change into these.
[04:33] Chinatsu
    Nice.
[04:37] Chinatsu
    Very nice.
[04:42] Chinatsu
    So cute!
[04:45] Chinatsu
    This is the best!
[04:53] Masa
    Come on, now.
[04:56] Asae
    I can't let this continue.
[04:58] Chinatsu
    So cute!
[05:01] Chinatsu
    Very nice! Why don't you
    two get a little closer?
[05:04] Chinatsu
    Very nice!
[05:08] Masa
    Wait, is she calling the cops?!
[05:11] Asae
    Sorry for the wait!
[05:12] Masa
    Auntie, wait!
[05:21] Masa
    Wh-Who are you?!
[05:22] Asae
    Oh, come on, now! It's your Auntie Asae!
[05:25] Masa
    You lie!
[05:25] Asae
    Please. I just got a little serious.
[05:28] Masa
    Serious? What does "serious" even mean?!
[05:30] Masa
    Serious about what?!
[05:32] Mom
    Asae-neesan, you should have
    Chinatsu-chan take your picture, too.
[05:35] Asae
    That was exactly my intention!
[05:37] Haruka
    Yay! We all match!
[05:39] Chinatsu
    It's amazing what you can do with makeup.
[05:42] Masa
    Makeup? This is makeup?!
[05:45] Masa
    Does that mean our loli hag also
    looks like that because of makeup,
[05:48] ---
    and she's actually...
[05:51] Masa
    Women are terrifying!
     I don't even want to think about that!
[05:53] Chinatsu
    Onii-chan, you dummy. Mom is all natural.
[05:57] Both
    Right?
[05:58] Masa
    Wh-What?!
[06:00] Masa
    That's terrifying in its own right!
[06:09] All
    So, which one is your real mom?
[06:14] Mom
    Is it me?
[06:16] Asae
    It's me, of course!
[06:17] Haruka
    It's me, duh!
[06:18] One
    It's me!
[06:20] Two
    Come on, Maa-kun!
[06:21] Three
    I'm telling you, it's me!
[06:21] Some
    Look at me!
[06:25] Masa
    Please, no!
[06:30] Masa
    I'm so tired.
[06:35] Haru
    Um... You see, Maa-kun,
    I wanted to be your girlfriend,
[06:39] Haru
    so I tried really hard to grow bigger.
[06:41] Masa
    Huh?
[06:42] Asae
    Cousins can get married.
[06:45] Masa
    You've got good taste. I'll give you that.
[06:49] Masa
    But someone else already has my heart.
[06:51] Haru
    Oh...
[06:53] Masa
    Whoops... I was a bit too straightforward.
[06:57] Haru
    Well, if things don't work out,
     I get to be next, okay?
[07:01] Masa
    Huh?
[07:03] Chinatsu
    The women of the Makabe
    family sure are tough.
[07:09] Masa
    You're the last person who should say that!
SIGN    "Tsunade Island, Once More."
[07:19] Tae
    This feels great, doesn't it?
[07:21] Neko
    The scent of the salt air is so rich
     that it's almost suffocating.
[07:25] Tae
    I didn't think I'd be able
    to come back this year.
[07:28] Neko
    We must thank Aki-sama
     for inviting us over again.
[07:32] Tae
    Yeah! I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun again!
[07:35] Yoshi
    We'll be there soon, so get ready.
[07:38] Both
    Okay.
[07:40] Midori
    Welcome to Tsunade Island!
SIGN    Tsunade Island
[07:43] Midori
    We're happy to have you again this year!
[07:47] Kojuurou
    Hello, Yuisaki-san.
[07:48] Midori
    Oh, I see you're as cute as ever, cutie boy!
[07:52] Koju
    "Cutie boy"...
[07:54] Midori
    Welcome to Aki-sama and the rest, as well.
[07:57] Tae
    Hello!
[07:58] Neko
    I may be "the rest,"
     but thank you for having us.
[08:02] Midori
    Oh? Where's the fucking
    refreshing boy from last year?
[08:06] Aki
    Ah...
[08:07] Midori
    Oh?
[08:09] Midori
    Did they break up? Separate?
[08:11] Midori
    Bye-bye my love?
    Something definitely happened!
[08:13] Midori
    Ahem.
[08:15] Midori
    Get a hold of yourself, Aki-sama.
[08:17] Midori
    There are plenty of good men
    other than that fucking boy.
[08:21] Midori
    Now, hit me with any venting or anything
    awful you want to say about him!
[08:24] Aki
    Indeed...
[08:26] Tae
    It really is too bad about Masamune-kun.
[08:28] Neko
    If only that hadn't happened...
[08:30] Midori
    "That"?
[08:31] Midori
    Was the reason infidelity? DV?
[08:33] Aki
    Both.
[08:34] Midori
    Oh, my stars! My, oh, my, oh, my!
[08:36] Midori
    Who did he cheat with? Who did he hit?
[08:39] Yoshi
    Himself... and himself.
[08:41] Midori
    Huh?
[08:42] Aki
    He's such an idiot.
     He's the worst idiot who ever lived.
[08:48] Masa
    I'm on top of my game again today!
[08:50] Masa
    Everything about me is in perfect symmetry.
[08:52] Masa
    I look beautiful walking or sitting.
[08:55] Masa
    Not to mention my hotness
    is blinding as the sun.
[08:59] Masa
    I am truly perfec—
[09:03] (Flashback) Girls
    What...
[09:07] aki
    He was so enamored by his reflection
    that he crashed into a street lamp?
[09:10] Aki
    He actually bled? And got a concussion?
[09:12] Aki
    How self-loving and narcissistic can he be?!
[09:14] ---
    He is the biggest fool who's ever lived!
[09:17] Midori
    Ah, so that's why he
    couldn't come on this trip.
[09:20] Midori
    Oh...
[09:23] Midori
    I mean... Oh, I hope he
    gets back on his feet soon.
[09:29] Aki
    What? As if I want anything to do with him.
[09:32] Neko
    In that case, I'll gladly
    take him off your hands.
[09:35] Yoshi
    Me, too.
[09:37] Aki
    Y-You two can't even tell when I'm joking?!
[09:40] Neko
    Oh, I thought you were quite serious.
[09:43] Tae
    Come on! Just try on this
    bikini for a second!
[09:47] Koju
    No!
[09:51] Koju
    Makabe-kun, how could you
    leave me alone like this?!
[10:00] Tae
    I'm so sure he'd look cute in it.
[10:03] Tae
    Too bad.
[10:04] Neko
    It's not as if I don't understand how you feel...
[10:09] Neko
    Yes?
[10:10] Aki
    Are you two ready?
[10:12] Neko
    Yes, anytime.
[10:18] Aki
    What?
[10:20] Tae
    Whoa, what happened?
     Did you finally hit puberty?
[10:23] Aki
    That's right. I'm not my old self anymore.
[10:32] Tae
    Wow, it's such a nice day today.
[10:36] Neko
    T-Today is quite amusing.
[10:40] Yoshi
    Something came rolling toward me.
[10:50] Aki
    Y-Yoshino?
[10:52] Yoshi
    Yes, Aki-sama?
[10:54] Aki
    I'm hungry. Could you bring
    me something to eat?
[10:57] Yoshi
    Please prepare your own meal.
[11:03] Aki
    Yoshino's gotten quite a bit bolder.
[11:43] Aki
    Yoshi—
[11:45] Yoshi
    What is it?
[11:47] Aki
    Never mind.
[11:49] Aki
    Yes?
[11:57] Yoshi
    You should start brushing from the ends.
[12:03] Tae
    Hi, hi!
[12:05] Neko
    Thank you for having us over.
[12:06] Yoshi
    What?
[12:08] Tae
    What do you mean, "what?"
    We're having a girls' night!
[12:11] Tae
    Talking into the wee hours
    of the morning is a must!
[12:13] Tae
    We came all the way to the ocean!
     And it's nighttime!
[12:16] Yoshi
    That makes no sense.
[12:17] Neko
    This calls for sweets
     and relationship stories.
[12:20] Tae
    Yeah! Relationship stories!
    And things like what our types are...
[12:26] Neko
    Setting that aside...
     Maybe we should talk about some troubles
[12:29] ---
    we can finally bring up now.
[12:31] Aki
    Wh-What? I'm fine with talking about
    relationship things or any advice you'd need!
[12:38] Yoshi
    Since we're all here, we should...
[12:40] All
    We should...?
[12:41] Yoshi
    Study.
[12:45] Tae
    Yeah...
[12:46] Neko
    That'd be best.
[12:48] Aki
    Wha—
[12:52] Aki
    You were actually serious?
[12:54] Tae
    I mean, we're third-years now.
[12:58] Tae
    We have to prepare for entrance exams.
[13:00] Yoshi
    Let's start with kanji drills.
[13:02] Aki
    Hey!
[13:03] Midori
    There isn't enough alcohol, damn it!
[13:06] Midori
    What are y'all being so buddy-buddy for?
[13:09] Midori
    Oh, I see.
[13:11] ---
    I can't be considered a girl anymore
    because I've bazongaed into my thirties?
[13:14] Midori
    This old hag is trying way too hard?
[13:16] Midori
    Asking for a ring for my birthday
    present was too overbearing?
[13:20] Midori
    A beef bowl is more than enough?!
[13:21] ---
    Help...
[13:22] Midori
    Shut your dumbass mouth!
[13:26] Midori
    Oh, I'm aware.
[13:28] ---
    Love is just an illusion.
    It's all a misunderstanding.
[13:31] Midori
    Some people just wake up from
    the dream faster than others!
[13:35] Midori
    Hey! Aki! Sama!
[13:38] Midori
    You understand, don't you?
[13:40] ---
    You only went out with that
    hot boy because he's cute.
[13:43] Midori
    You wouldn't have done it if he were a fatty!
[13:47] Midori
    How about you? Would you date a fatty?
[13:48] Tae
    Er, um...
[13:51] Neko
    I'd have no issue as long as they were healthy.
[13:53] Aki
    I'd still go out with them.
[13:56] both
    You there!
[13:57] Aki
    You averted your eyes just now, didn't you?
[14:00] Midori
    You only like attractive people,
    don't you?! You terrifying child!
[14:07] Neko
    I'd love to hear what you'd have to say.
[14:09] Tae
    Agreed!
[14:13] Midori
    You terrifying child!
[14:20] Koju
    Makabe-kun, save me...
[14:54] Masa
    Hello?
[14:55] Aki
    So, how are you doing?
[14:57] Masa
    Okay, I guess.
[14:58] Masa
    How are things over there?
[15:00] Aki
    Fine. We're having fun.
[15:03] Aki
    It's not as though I have to worry about
[15:06] ---
    how you're holding up,
     or if you'll run into another pole.
[15:09] Aki
    It's a very nice feeling.
[15:14] Masa
    So you're lonely?
[15:20] Aki
    Of course I'm lonely, you dummy.
SIGN    "Cinderella After Twelve"
[15:36] Yoshi
    Onee-chan.
[15:38] Yoshi
    Here. Gifts from Tsunade Island.
[15:42] Nari
    Oh, right. Thanks. Did you have fun?
[15:45] Yoshi
    Somewhat.
[15:47] Nari
    I see. Don't you have the day off today?
[15:50] Nari
    Your trip to Tsunade Island
     counted as work, didn't it?
[15:54] Nari
    I mean, I can understand that you feel
    more comfortable wearing that outfit.
[16:08] Nari
    Pick whatever you like and try it on.
[16:10] Yoshi
    Huh?
[16:18] Yoshi
    This is way too mature for me.
     It won't look good.
[16:21] Nari
    What are you talking about?
[16:22] ---
    We're sisters. Of course it'll look good on you.
[16:35] Yoshi
    I don't think...
[16:36] Nari
    Not quite right, huh?
[16:41] Nari
    Hold on.
[16:45] Yoshi
    Onee-chan...
[16:46] Nari
    I know.
[16:49] Nari
    Stay perfectly still.
    Otherwise, you'll see blood.
[17:19] Nari
    We should probably trim your bangs a bit.
[17:31] Nari
    Here.
[17:38] Nari
    There.
[17:43] Nari
    There we go.
[17:48] Yoshi
    Th-This is torture.
[17:50] Nari
    And you're all done.
     You can open your eyes now.
[18:02] Nari
    I guess we can't do much about you
    looking like an errand girl,
[18:05] Nari
    but today's your day off,
     so go do something for yourself.
[18:09] Yoshi
    Huh?
[18:11] Nari
    Off you go.
[18:24] Yoshi
    Since I was always doing whatever
    Aki-sama needed me to do,
[18:27] ---
    I never got to carry a tiny purse like this.
[18:32] Yoshi
    I always wore flat shoes so that
    I could rush to her side at any time.
[18:39] Yoshi
    I never did my nails, either.
[18:49] Guy
    Welcome.
[19:08] Yoshi
    It's sweet.
[19:09] Guy
    Is it to your liking?
[19:19] Yoshi
    I wonder why I can't find this fun.
[19:25] Girl
    Thank you!
[19:28] ---
    That was nice.
[19:28] ---
    Yeah, how fun!
[19:31] ---
    Let's go over there.
[19:32] ---
    Sure.
[19:33] Yoshi
    Oh, right.
[19:35] Yoshi
    Because when I finally let myself be selfish,
[19:37] ---
    I still wasn't able to get
    the one thing that I wanted.
[19:56] Girl
    Balloons!
[19:57] Boy
    I'll go get you one!
[20:02] Boy
    I-I'm sorry!
[20:15] Yoshi
    You can have it.
[20:19] Girl
    Thank you!
[20:36] Guy
    Oh, sorry.
[21:00] Girl
    Did you see her? She was super cute!
[21:04] Guy
    Huh? Where?
[21:05] Guy
    I don't think I saw her.
[21:11] Yoshi
    Sorry, Onee-chan.
[21:13] Nari
    It's fine, but are you sure you
    want to come back already?
[21:17] Yoshi
    Yeah.
[21:19] Nari
    Honestly, what am I going to do with you?
[21:21] Yoshi
    But it was a little bit fun.
[21:24] Yoshi
    I had been wanting to be
    prettier... on my own.
[21:29] Nari
    Really?
[21:30] Yoshi
    Yeah.
[21:31] Nari
    So you're finally getting serious?
[21:33] Yoshi
    I'll become prettier, be a better woman...
[21:36] Nari
    Yup, yup...
[21:38] Yoshi
    ...make them fall for me, and then dump them.
[21:40] Nari
    What?
[21:43] Yoshi
    Just kidding.
[21:48] Yoshi
    It's Aki-sama.
[21:54] Nari
    Who knew she had that side to her?