E1 - The Troubleshooters' Office

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:21] Kazuya
    Who is she?
[00:26] Kazuya
    My sister?
[00:28] Kazuya
    And...
[00:31] Kazuya
    Mom?
[00:36] Kazuya
    Kiriha-san?!
[00:47] Kazuya
    Why?
[00:52] Kazuya
    Why...
[00:59] Kazuya
    ...did we end up like this?
SIGN    Tsugumomo:
SIGN    A tsukumogami spirit that has transformed after many years,
SIGN    obtaining a body and soul indistinguishable from a human's.
SIGN    Tsugumomo
SIGN    Tsugu
SIGN    m 0 0 l 0 -10 l 10 -10 l 10 0
SIGN    m 0 0 l 0 -10 l 10 -10 l 10 0
SIGN    Chapter 1
SIGN    The Troubleshooters' Office
SIGN    "The Troubleshooters' Office"!
[02:47] Kazuya
    Okay, enough! It's too hot as it is!
[02:51] Kazuya
    How am I supposed to sleep like this?!
[02:54] Kazuya
    Kiriha-san! How many times do I have
    to ask you to wear panties in bed?!
SIGN    Tsukumogami born from an obi sash
     Kiriha

[02:57] Kiriha
    Wasn't on purpose. They always seem
    to find their own way off of me.
SIGN    Local Goddess
     Kukuri

SIGN    Local Goddess's Priestess
     Kokuyou
[03:01] Kukuri
    Why were we sleepin' in here, again?
[03:03] Kokuyou
    I accompanied you to the washroom
    in the night, then followed you here.
[03:06] Kukuri
    You sure that wasn't
    the night before last?
[03:08] Kiriha
    None of this matters!
    Back to bed, Kazuya...
[03:10] Kazuya
    Hey, Kiriha-san!
[03:15] Kasumi
    How many times do I have to tell
    you to stop tempting Ya-kun?!
[03:17] Kasumi
    You tsukumogami tart!
[03:19] Kazuya
    Stop!
SIGN    Older sister
    Kagami Kasumi
[03:23] Kasumi
    Come on, Ya-kun. If you don't get ready
    and eat soon, you're going to be late.
[03:28] Kazuya
    You're right!
[03:32] Kazuya
    Come on, Kiriha-san, aren't you coming?
[03:36] Kazuya
    We need to explain everything
    to the others today.
[03:42] Osamu
    You seem exhausted as usual, Kagami-kun.
SIGN     Osanai Osamu

SIGN    Shiramine Shirou
[03:45] Chisato
    It's because he never allows enough time.
SIGN     Chikaishi Chisato

[03:48] Kazuya
    I wish I had more to allow, believe me...
[03:50] Guys
    Hey, Obina-san.
[03:52] Guys
    Where'd you go to school before this?
[03:54] Guys
    Is that your natural hair color?
[03:55] Guys
    Got any hobbies?
[03:56] Guys
    What music do you like?
[03:57] Kiriha
    What is all this?
[03:58] Kiriha
    How am I meant to answer
    so many questions at once?
[04:00] Kazuya
    Kiriha-san sure is a hit...
[04:03] Guys
    Hey, Kagami.
[04:03] Guys
    You're good friends with Obina-san, right?
[04:06] Guys
    Did you grow up together or something?
[04:07] Kazuya
    Uh, sorta.
[04:09] Shirou
    Then she must've lived in
    your neighborhood, huh?
[04:13] Kiriha
    Neighborhood? We live in
    the same house, in fact.
[04:17] Shirou
    Well, if you were friends back then,
[04:19] Shirou
    did you bathe together and
    sleep together and all that?
[04:23] Kiriha
    Don't be foolish.
[04:24] Kiriha
    We still sleep together,
    to say nothing of bathing.
[04:28] Kiriha
    It's Kazuya's duty to
    wash my back, after all.
[04:31] Shirou
    Judgment time!
SIGN    Classroom 2-2 Provisional Courtroom
SIGN    Defendant Kagami Kazuya
[04:38] Shirou
    This perversion trial, held by
    our class of wholesome young men,
[04:41] Shirou
    has now convened!
SIGN    Judge S.S
SIGN    Homeroom Teacher Iraha Isuzu
[04:44] Teacher
    Okay, everyone to your seats.
[04:46] Teacher
    What the—
[04:47] Kazuya
    Sensei!
[04:48] Shirou
    Defendant Kagami Kazuya!
SIGN    Judge S.S
[04:50] Shirou
    You are charged with cohabiting
[04:52] Shirou
    with a beautiful girl and engaging
    in lascivious activities!
[04:55] Kazuya
    It's a misunderstanding!
    Kiriha-san's just confused, that's all!
[04:58] Kazuya
    Her memory's, like... y'know!
SIGN    Key Witness Obina Kiriha
[04:59] Kiriha
    Rude.
[05:00] Kazuya
    Kiriha-san!
[05:01] Kazuya
    No more jokes! Please?!
[05:03] Chisato
    Your honor!
SIGN    Juror C.C
[05:04] Chisato
    I've seen the defendant in the bath and
    sleeping with Kiriha-san with my own eyes.
[05:09] Kazuya
    Chisato?!
[05:10] Shirou
    I see no grounds for
    defense in this case!
[05:10] Kazuya
    Sensei! Sensei, I don't
    think this is a legal trial!
[05:12] Shirou
    In the name of this assembly
    of wholesome young men...
[05:14] Teacher
    I don't know what you expect me to do!
[05:16] Shirou
    you are hereby sentenced
    to the maximum punishment!
SIGN    Guilty of perversion in the first degree
    Execution by turtle-shell bondage pendulum
SIGN    Culture Club Room Annex
SIGN    Culture Club Room Annex
[05:30] Shirou
    A tsukumogami, huh?
[05:32] Kiriha
    Indeed I am.
[05:33] Kiriha
    An obi tsukumogami, in fact.
[05:36] Kiriha
    I've been attending to exorcisms
    in this area with Kazuya here.
[05:40] Osamu
    I see.
[05:42] Osamu
    Then the younger form you had
    before was only temporary?
SIGN    It's me!
[05:45] Osamu
    That is a shame.
[05:47] Kiriha
    It is?
[05:47] Osamu
    I meant to say, a surprise.
[05:50] Osamu
    Incidentally, Kagami-kun...
[05:53] Osamu
    This is a vacant room meant
    for one of the culture clubs.
[05:55] Shirou
    Oh, yeah. What did you wanna talk about?
[05:58] Shirou
    And for the record, there is no
    possible defense for the fact
[06:01] Shirou
    that you're cohabiting with a babe!
[06:02] Kazuya
    What are you even...
[06:06] Kazuya
    To be honest, I need to
    ask you all for help.
[06:10] Kazuya
    You've seen it yourselves already,
[06:13] Kazuya
    but strange things keep
    happening at this school.
[06:19] Chisato
    You mean the incidents caused by amasogi?
[06:21] Shirou
    Oh, that thing where people's desires
    turn stuff supernatural, right?
[06:26] Shirou
    Man, that was pure hell.
SIGN     Shirou's atonement was
     smelling foul (for one week)

[06:29] Kazuya
    The longer an amasogi causes trouble,
[06:31] Kazuya
    the more intense the atonement it results in.
[06:34] Kazuya
    So I want to try to gather information
    that'll help us deal with them faster.
SIGN    New Extracurricular Group Submission
SIGN    Group name: The Troubleshooters' Office
SIGN    Requested by: Class 2-2 Kagami Kazuya
SIGN    Group Goal:
SIGN    Member list:
[06:39] Kazuya
    Which is why I'm thinking
    of turning this room...
[06:43] Kazuya
    into a place where students can
    come for help with their problems.
[06:45] Shirou
    Like, counseling?
[06:47] Shirou
    What the heck?
[06:48] Osamu
    I understand.
[06:50] Osamu
    By getting information on rumors
    and troubles arising among students...
[06:53] Chisato
    We might be able to
    uncover clues on amasogi!
[06:56] Kazuya
    Right!
[06:57] Kazuya
    But we wouldn't be able to do it alone.
[07:00] Osamu
    I assume that's where we come in.
[07:03] Shirou
    I gotta ask, why does all this stuff
    keep happening at our school, anyway?
[07:09] Osamu
    A good question. I wonder if
    there's a particular cause.
[07:15] Kazuya
    There's...
[07:18] Kiriha
    The birth of an amasogi is tied
    to something called malison.
[07:23] Shirou
    Malaysian?
[07:24] Kiriha
    No.
[07:25] Kiriha
    Malison... is like a type of fog that has
    the power to make wishes come true.
[07:31] Kiriha
    It occurs naturally throughout the world,
SIGN    Malison
[07:34] Kiriha
    having a subtle influence
    over all things that happen.
[07:38] Kiriha
    We tsukumogami are generally the
    result of the accumulation of malison
[07:44] Kiriha
    over an extended period of time.
[07:46] Kiriha
    However, should an abnormally rich
    amount of malison come under
[07:50] Kiriha
    the influence of an intense desire or wish,
[07:53] Kiriha
    it can create an instant tsukumogami,
[07:55] Kiriha
    one born without any
    rational intelligence.
[07:57] Kiriha
    That's what amasogi are.
[08:00] Osamu
    Then this malison gathers
    more easily in our school?
[08:03] Shirou
    Yeah, but I'm asking why!
[08:06] Kiriha
    Because someone who attends
    school here has a condition
[08:09] Kiriha
    that causes them to attract malison.
[08:14] Kiriha
    They're born into every age,
[08:18] Kiriha
    dubbed "scorned children,"
    and treated as the source of the scourge.
[08:22] Kazuya
    And it turns out...
[08:25] Kazuya
    that I'm one of those scorned children.
[08:27] Shirou
    So this stuff is happening
    because of you, Kazuya?
[08:32] Kazuya
    Yeah. And honestly, I should probably
    be dealing with this stuff by myself—
[08:37] Kiriha
    You're wrong there.
[08:40] Kiriha
    It's true that denser malison increases
    the likelihood of amasogi being born,
[08:46] Kiriha
    but shunning the scorned children
[08:49] Kiriha
    merely results in the malison
    collecting elsewhere.
[08:52] Kiriha
    All that changes is the time and place
    in which the amasogi are born.
[08:56] Kiriha
    The real reason that amasogi are born
[08:58] Kiriha
    is a heart so weak that
    it is overtaken by avarice.
[09:03] Kiriha
    No one has the right to pass that
    blame on to the scorned child.
[09:07] Kiriha
    They are not at fault.
[09:15] Shirou
    Yeah, you've got a point.
[09:18] Shirou
    I'm the one who actually used
    that amasogi cologne, after all.
[09:23] Osamu
    Right, it wasn't Kagami-kun's fault.
[09:27] Osamu
    The best thing for us to do is
    prevent more damage where possible.
[09:31] Shirou
    And that's what this
    troubleshooting office is for?
[09:34] Shirou
    All right, I'm in!
[09:37] Osamu
    I'll be splitting my time with the
    manga club, but I'll join you.
[09:41] Chisato
    I'd love to help, too.
SIGN    New Extracurricular Group Submission
    
    Group name: The Troubleshooters' Office
    
    Requested by: Class 2-2 Kagami Kazuya
    
    Group Goal:
    
    Member list:
    Class 2-2 Shiramine Shirou
    Class 2-2 Osanai Osamu
    Class 2-2 Chikaishi Chisato
    Class 2-2 Obina Kiriha
[09:49] Kiriha
    You may enter!
SIGN    Hello
[09:52] Tadataka
    Hello! Did everything go well, then?
SIGN    Student Council President
     Tadata Tadataka
SIGN    Newspaper Club
     Nanakai Nanako
[09:56] Kazuya
    What are you two doing here?
[09:57] Kiriha
    I gave them word ahead of time.
[10:00] Kiriha
    It's thanks to Tadataka that we
    have use of this room, you know.
[10:04] Tadataka
    Oh, it was the least I could do!
[10:06] Nanako sign
    I'll help, too.
[10:07] Kazuya
    But you both had to go through
    atonement because of me...
[10:11] Kiriha
    Stop that.
[10:13] Kiriha
    I just said it wasn't your fault.
[10:16] Kiriha
    And besides...
[10:17] Kiriha
    Nanako!
[10:23] Nanako
    I'm grateful... to you... Kagami-senpai.
[10:27] Kazuya
    Her voice!
[10:28] Kiriha
    Atonement is basically one's punishment
    for giving in to an amasogi's temptation.
[10:32] Nanako sign
    It's coming back
    little by little.
[10:33] Kiriha
    If you accept that and are penitent,
    the effects will weaken in time.
[10:38] Tadataka
    I'm starting to see some hope, as well.
[10:41] Kiriha
    Listen well. Blaming yourself
    is not only pointless,
[10:44] Kiriha
    but will also have the opposite effect.
[10:47] Kiriha
    Understood?
[10:50] Kazuya
    Yeah.
[10:52] Kazuya
    Thank you, everyone!
[10:54] Kiriha
    Very good! It's time for the
    Troubleshooters' Office to get to work.
[11:01] Sign
    Troubleshooters' Office!
    First Club Meeting
[11:02] Kazuya
    And so...
[11:04] Kiriha
    Let's waste no time.
    Has anyone heard anything?
[11:08] Shirou
    Yeah, question!
[11:09] Shirou
    Why can't I get a girlfriend?!
[11:10] Kiriha
    Your personality.
[11:14] Chisato
    Come to think of it...
[11:17] Kiriha
    What is it?
[11:18] Chisato
    Well, there's something
    that came to mind.
[11:26] Tadataka
    The student council's been privy
    to some information, as well.
[11:30] Kazuya
    What kind of information?
[11:33] Tadataka
    It seems that lately, underwear seems
    to go missing after swimming classes.
[11:38] Tadataka
    We've had the odd report of
    such incidents here and there.
[11:43] Kazuya
    An... underwear thief?
SIGN    Tsugu
SIGN    Tsugumomo
[11:47] Kiriha
    Tsugu Tsugumomo!
SIGN    Tsugu
SIGN    Tsugumomo
SIGN    Tsugumomo ♥
[11:52] Chisato
    Tsugu Tsugumomo!
[11:59] Kazuya
    Thanks for agreeing to help, Chisato.
[12:02] Kazuya
    I really do need you.
[12:04] Chisato
    Kazuya-kun...
[12:16] Mimane
    Here we go...
[12:18] Mimane
    Hey! Still asleep?
[12:23] Mimane
    Okay, fast asleep.
[12:25] Mimane
    All right!
[12:29] Azami
    Don't make so much noise.
[12:30] Mimane
    Aye-aye, sir!
[12:35] Mimane
    Okay, it's gone!
[12:37] Mimane
    Looks like smooth sailing.
[12:49] Shirou
    C... No, B.
[12:51] Osamu
    One vote for B.
[12:53] Kazuya
    Shirou, just for the record...
[12:55] Shirou
    Come on, man, I'm not gonna
    steal anybody's underwear.
[12:58] Shirou
    It's what's on the inside that counts.
[13:00] Osamu
    And if there's a need, you can just buy some.
[13:02] Kazuya
    Right...
[13:05] Kazuya
    Chisato!
[13:07] Chisato
    Wh-What is it?
[13:09] Kazuya
    I was wondering...
[13:13] Chisato
    W-Wondering something about me?
[13:15] Kazuya
    Well...
[13:17] Kazuya
    Do you swim with your glasses on?
[13:21] Sign
    Girls' Changing Room
[13:23] Chisato
    Sheesh... I must still be half-asleep...
[13:37] Frog
    Ribbit!
[13:41] Chisato
    Ribbit?
SIGN    Amasogi?!
    Class rep spots a mysterious creature
    The story of Chikaishi Chisato's strange encounter
[13:43] Chisato
    And that's what happened...
[13:47] Osamu
    And you think this creature was
    the one stealing underwear?
[13:50] Kazuya
    It wasn't a cat or anything, was it?
[13:53] Kiriha
    It's most likely an amasogi.
SIGN    The Yagokoro
    Malison Forecast
[13:55] Kiriha
    The malison forecast today
    was rather unsettling.
[13:57] ---
    Malison Density
    80%
[13:59] Shirou
    Osamu, this calls for...
[14:01] Osamu
    Right. An undercover operation.
[14:04] Shirou
    Now then, people...
[14:05] Shirou
    We need to requisition your panties.
[14:08] Chisato
    Under no circumstances!
[14:11] Tadataka
    If mine will suffice, you can have them.
[14:13] Shirou
    It obviously has to be a girl's!
[14:15] Chisato
    That's sexual harassment!
[14:16] Kiriha
    Amasogi are like animals, true enough.
[14:19] Kiriha
    A bit of bait might be just what we need...
[14:28] Kazuya
    Sorry about this, Kiriha-san.
[14:29] Kiriha
    Put them on, take them off...
    You just can't seem to decide, can you?
[14:33] Kazuya
    Well, you always sit around
    the house without any on!
[14:37] Kazuya
    Uh, forget I said anything.
[14:39] Shirou
    Does this really have
    any chance of working?
[14:42] Osamu
    It is a fairly primitive trap.
[14:48] Kazuya
    Did we catch something?
[14:51] Kiriha
    Careful, now.
[14:52] ---
    Right.
[14:57] Shirou
    What the hell?
[14:59] Osamu
    A frog... embroidered on a
    pair of underpants, it seems.
[15:02] Osamu
    Little girls' panties.
[15:04] Osamu
    I'm guessing the size is 120.
[15:07] Kazuya
    Hey, Chisato...
[15:09] Kazuya
    Isn't this pair...
[15:12] Chisato
    No, it's not!
[15:16] Frog
    Ribbit!
[15:19] Kazuya
    It ran!
[15:21] Kiriha
    After it, Kazuya!
[15:38] Kazuya
    It's gathering malison?!
[15:45] Frog
    Ribbit!
[15:48] Kiriha
    Seems ready for a fight.
[15:57] Kazuya
    Kiriha-san!
[15:57] Kiriha
    Right!
[16:04] Kiriha
    It's collecting malison
    from the surroundings.
[16:06] Kiriha
    Best to wrap this up quickly.
[16:08] ---
    Right!
[16:11] Frog
    Ribbit!
[16:12] Kazuya
    Shield Weave!
[16:15] Kiriha
    Grab it!
[16:16] Kazuya
    Hand Weave!
[16:17] Frog
    Ribbit!
[16:23] Kazuya
    Sledgehammer Weave!
[16:32] Kazuya
    No effect!
[16:33] Kiriha
    Squishy little beast, isn't it?!
[16:35] Chisato
    Kazuya-kun!
[16:38] Shirou
    What the hell is that?!
[16:39] Osamu
    I would assume it's the berserk amasogi.
[16:41] Shirou
    But it's a pair of p-p-p-panties!
[16:44] Shirou
    Indeed it is.
[16:45] Kazuya
    Hey, Chisato!
[16:46] Kazuya
    That pair belongs to you, doesn't it?!
[16:50] Kazuya
    I know it does!
    I remember seeing them before!
[16:53] Chisato
    Why do you remember that?!
[16:54] Frog
    Ribbit!
[16:58] Shirou
    Whoa, it's even bigger!
[17:00] Kiriha
    You need to admit it, Chisato!
[17:02] Kazuya
    That's right! You were so desperate for
    underwear, it gave birth to an amasogi!
[17:07] Shirou
    Damn, Chikaishi... Seriously?
[17:09] Chisato
    This is exactly why I
    didn't want to admit it!
[17:12] Chisato
    Not to mention, I have no such desire!
[17:14] Kazuya
    You don't?
[17:15] Kiriha
    I thought that seemed odd.
[17:19] Chisato
    Kazuya-kun!
[17:32] Kiriha
    All right, Kazuya! We can't let this
    thing continue to run rampant!
[17:35] Kiriha
    We need to silence it in one blow!
[17:37] Frog
    Ribbit!
[17:43] Kazuya
    Three-point... Spiral Weave!
SIGN    Three-point Spiral Weave
[17:49] Frog
    Ribbit!
[17:59] Kazuya
    What do we do about this?
[18:01] Chisato
    It's true that those are mine, but...
[18:05] Chisato
    They're from when I was little,
    and they'd been put away for so long...
[18:09] Chisato
    I have no idea how this happened.
[18:12] Kazuya
    What was it, then?
[18:14] Kiriha
    Kazuya.
[18:16] Kiriha
    Strip.
[18:18] Kiriha
    I said strip, boy!
[18:19] Kazuya
    Okay!
[18:26] Kiriha
    I think it was lonely.
[18:32] Kiriha
    There's sorrow in unused, discarded items.
[18:36] Kiriha
    Let this be its small comfort.
[19:23] Chisato
    Was this for the best?
[19:27] Kiriha
    Wouldn't you prefer to be with the
    one you longed for in the end?
[19:36] Chisato
    I guess so.
[19:40] Kazuya
    Um...
[19:43] Kazuya
    My underpants...
[19:58] Frog
    Ribbit...
[20:02] Kazuya
    Thanks for the meal.
[20:03] Kiriha
    I am stuffed!
[20:05] Kasumi
    Would it kill you to
    clean up after yourself?!
[20:07] Sign
    Student claims to be a witness
[20:07] Osamu
    I believe it was due to an
    atmospheric plasma discharge.
[20:14] Kazuya
    I wonder what that frog's deal actually was...
[20:18] ---
    Aye...
[20:19] Kiriha
    If Chisato didn't give rise to the amasogi,
[20:22] Kiriha
    it must have occurred naturally.
[20:24] Kazuya
    But that's supposed to
    take a long time, right?
[20:29] Kiriha
    If a decade or so was
    enough to animate them,
[20:31] Kiriha
    the world would be crawling
    with tsukumogami.
[20:33] Kiriha
    Dense malison or not,
    there'd have to be more to it...
[20:37] Kasumi
    Ya-kun, is this all your laundry?
[20:40] Kazuya
    Yeah.
[20:42] Kasumi
    No underpants...
[20:44] Kasumi
    Did he lose them?
    Did they fall off? Or maybe...
[20:47] Web auction Signs
    Men > Underaged
[20:47] Web auction Signs
    Super rare! Fresh! °A beautiful boy's under cludes pictures!)
[20:47] ---
    Remaining Time:
[20:47] ---
    hour
[20:47] ---
    Current price:
[20:47] ---
    5,000,000,000,000,000 yen (0 yen tax)
[20:47] ---
    Shipping: Seller pays
[20:47] ---
    Purchase
[20:48] Kasumi
    How much was it?!
    How much did they go for?!
[20:51] Kazuya
    Do you think there'll
    be trouble again soon?
[20:55] Kiriha
    No need to worry.
[20:57] Kiriha
    Is that not why we called upon your friends?
[21:01] Kazuya
    I guess you're right.
[21:03] Kiriha
    Now, then...
[21:05] Kiriha
    Sir, do you feel itchy anywhere else?
[21:10] Kazuya
    No, not really.
[21:11] Kiriha
    What about here?
[21:14] Kazuya
    Hey!
[21:15] ---
    Or perhaps...
[21:17] Kiriha
    down here?
[21:19] Kiriha
    Perky as usual, I see!
[21:21] Kazuya
    No!
[21:27] Mimane
    Looks like it went down already.
[21:30] Akito
    That's fine.
[21:32] Yasuki
    Do we have another lead?
[21:35] Arumi
    Yes.
[21:37] Akito
    For now, we'll do things Azami's way.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[23:20] Kazuya
    Sunao-san, who challenged
    me to a duel before,
[23:22] Kazuya
    asked me to come to her house alone.
[23:25] Kazuya
    I wasn't sure what to expect,
    but what happened still surprised me!
[23:29] ---
    Next time on Tsugu Tsugumomo,
    Chapter 2: "The False Fiancée."
SIGN    The False Fiancée
[23:32] ---
    Don't miss it!
SIGN    Don't miss it!
SIGN    Illustration by: Oono Kousuke