E8 - A Certain Day in the Kagami Household / The Super Popular Fragrance

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:01] TV
    And next up is the shock
    comedian, Eko-chan!
[00:16] Kazuaki
    Excuse me...
SIGN    Peanuts & Rice Crisps
[00:31] Radio
    Bottom of the third,
    tied at 3-3 with Kaneda at bat.
[00:37] Radio
    The pitcher lets it go, and—
SIGN    Pudding.
SIGN    The intoxicating aroma of perfectly caramelized granulated sugar,
SIGN    the gentle sweetness and texture of the marriage of egg and milk,
SIGN    and the faintest hint of vanilla tickling the nose with—
SIGN    Tsugumomo
[01:07] Character Signs
    Kiriha
[01:11] Character Signs
    Kagami Kazuya
[01:16] Character Signs
    Kokuyou
[01:16] Character Signs
    Kukuri
[01:19] Character Signs
    Chikaishi Chisato
[01:21] Character Signs
    Shiramine Shirou
[01:21] Character Signs
    Osanai Osamu
SIGN    Kettle
SIGN    A Certain Day in the Kagami Household
SIGN    "A Certain Day in the Kagami Household."
[02:52] Kasumi
    Pudding.
SIGN    Pork Cutlet Sauce
[03:20] Kasumi
    Ya-kun!
[03:23] Kasumi
    Please.
[03:25] Kukuri
    Cabbage!
[03:26] Kiriha
    Potatoes.
[03:28] Kasumi
    Oh!
[03:30] Kiriha
    Come, what's the matter?
[03:32] Kukuri
    Whachu say?!
[03:36] Kiriha
    Come get me!
[03:36] Kukuri
    You're right gettin' my goat here!
SIGN    Super Hummer
SIGN    Cashews & Almonds
SIGN    Bamboo Shoot Empire
SIGN    Snacks Candy
SIGN    Biscuits Chocolate
SIGN    Pork Cutlet
    Sauce
SIGN    Pork Cutlet Sauce
SIGN    Intense Milk
[04:36] (Flashback) Kazuya
    I'm home!
[04:39] (Flashback) Kukuri
    Welcome home, hun!
[04:42] (Flashback) Kukuri
    Do you want dinner? A bath?
[04:45] (Flashback) Kukuri
    Or maybe...
SIGN    Big Sale!!
SIGN    WASHI no
    PUDDING 3 for
[05:05] [SONG] Karaoke sign
    The Pudding Song
    Lyrics, Composition, Arrangement: Kiriha
[05:10] Kiriha
    I want some pudding.
SIGN    (The way it's so jiggly)
[05:16] Kiriha
    Let's eat some pudding.
[05:19] Kiriha
    (The way it melts in your mouth)
[05:21] Kiriha
    I'd stake my life
[05:24] Kiriha
    if it meant getting to eat pudding.
[05:26] Boy
    Pudding... Pudding...
[05:28] Mom
    Don't imitate her!
[05:30] Kiriha
    Pudding, pudding,
    all the pudding in the world...
[05:35] Women
    She must really love pudding.
[05:37] Women
    Poor thing.
[05:38] Kiriha
    Oh, how I want some.
[05:41] Kiriha
    Second verse...
[05:42] Kazuya
    Enough!
SIGN    Mizu Youkan
    Red bean flavor
[06:04] Kukuri
    Mizu youkan, youkan, mizu youkan, youkan...
[06:11] Kukuri
    Shall we eat some?
[06:20] Kiriha
    Come, Kukuri.
SIGN    The line for register 5 ends here.
SIGN    Super Hummer
[06:40] Kokuyou
    Thank you for shopping with us.
[06:43] Kukuri
    Kokuyou!
[06:44] Kukuri
    Jiggle-jiggle!
[06:45] Kokuyou
    Oh.
[06:49] Radio
    Is he squaring to bunt?
[06:51] Radio
    Wait, there it goes! Look at it fly!
[06:53] Radio
    A home run bunt!
[06:55] Kiriha
    P-P-Pudding, p-p-pudding...
[06:57] Kiriha
    Hey, hey, hey!
[06:59] Kiriha
    Taste how the vanilla custard
    and caramel melt together!
[07:04] Kazuya
    We're back.
[07:05] Kukuri
    We're home!
[07:06] Kokuyou
    We've returned from the store.
[07:08] Kiriha
    Here, we bought what you asked for.
[07:15] Everyone
    Time to eat!
[07:18] Kazuaki
    Right, I thought so too... Guess not.
[07:30] Kokuyou
    Delicious.
[07:34] Everyone
    Thanks for the meal!
[07:35] Kiriha
    Pudding, pudding, pudding!
[07:45] Kiriha
    So good!
SIGN    Pork Cutlet Sauce Mizu youkan Intense Milk
SIGN    Mizu youkan
[08:11] Kiriha
    Pudding, pudding, pudding!
[08:12] Kukuri
    Mizu youkan!
[08:14] Kiriha
    Pudding, pudding!
[08:16] Kukuri
    Mizu youkan!
[08:17] Kiriha
    Pudding, pudding!
[08:19] Kukuri
    Mizu youkan!
[08:21] Both
    Thanks for the snack!
[08:27] Kiriha
    Tsugumomo!
[08:33] Kazuya
    Tsugumomo...
SIGN    The Super Popular Fragrance
SIGN    "The Super Popular Fragrance."
[08:43] C
    Kazuya-kun...
[08:45] K3
    Kazuyan.
[08:50] K1
    This insane situation...
    It all started this morning.
SIGN    Shirou-sama
[09:02] K1
    What the heck?!
[09:05] S
    Hey, Kazuya, Class Rep, and Osamu!
    Running kinda late, huh?
[09:09] Guys
    Wh-Wh-What the hell is this, Shirou?!
[09:12] Guys
    You've always just been MCS!
[09:15] Guys
    The Mojo-lacking Champion Shiramine!
SIGN    (Mojo-lacking)
[09:19] Guys
    What gives?!
[09:21] S
    How's this?
[09:22] Girl
    Oh!
[09:23] S
    What's wrong?
[09:24] Girl
    Shirou-sama, you naughty boy!
[09:25] Girl
    Shirou-sama, me, too!
[09:28] S
    Like this, then?
[09:29] Girl
    Ooh!
[09:30] Girl
    Me, too! Do me, too!
[09:35] C
    Inappropriate!
[09:37] C
    Please disperse this supremely
    perverse harem immediately!
[09:42] Girl
    Whatever, you four-eyed square!
[09:43] Girl
    Don't try and ruin our romance!
[09:46] Girl
    That's right!
[09:47] Girl
    Tell her!
[09:49] S
    Come on, my babies, don't fight over me!
[09:59] O
    Our esteemed Shiramine,
    whom no girl has ever paid any mind,
[10:03] O
    has become overwhelmingly popular overnight.
[10:06] O
    It hardly seems like a natural phenomenon.
[10:09] K2
    Indeed!
[10:11] K2
    It's supernatural!
[10:14] K2
    I'm certain this is an amasogi's doing.
[10:17] K1
    Come on, Kiriha-san!
    I keep asking you not to come out!
[10:20] K1
    If the others see you...
[10:23] K2
    Pipe down, you servile oaf!
[10:28] K2
    Who will notice amid this commotion?
[10:31] K2
    According to the malison forecast,
[10:33] K2
    we're in for some denser malison
    over the next few days.
SIGN    Malison forecast
[10:37] K2
    I had expected something to happen.
[10:40] K2
    Now, Kazuya, it's for precisely these
    matters that a malison cleanser is needed.
[10:45] K2
    Let's see you work your magic.
[10:47] K1
    But what do I do?
[10:48] K2
    Think for yourself!
[10:50] K1
    O-Okay.
[10:57] K1
    H-Hey, Shirou!
[11:01] K1
    Shirou, listen to me!
[11:03] S
    And how may I help you, Kazuya-kun?
[11:06] S
    I'm quite busy with all
    this popularity I have.
[11:09] S
    Surely you noticed.
[11:10] K1
    I know that you used some kind of tool
    to get popular like this!
[11:18] Guys
    A tool?
[11:20] C
    Is it a good idea to reveal
    that in front of everyone?
[11:22] K2
    Good grief.
[11:23] K1
    Any love you get using
    it isn't the real deal!
[11:27] K1
    It's fake! An illusion!
[11:29] Guys
    A tool...
[11:30] Guys
    ...to get popular?
[11:31] Guys
    Then anyone can have...
[11:32] Guys
    ...a harem?
[11:35] Guys
    A harem?!
[11:36] K1
    Now, Shirou! Destroy the
    tool and erase its effects!
[11:40] Shirou
    Wh-What are you, stupid?
[11:41] Shirou
    You're wrong, stupid!
[11:42] Shirou
    They've just finally noticed
    my charms, stupid!
[11:45] Shirou
    I-It's not because I used
    some magical cologne!
[11:50] K2
    Shot himself in the foot.
[11:51] Guys
    A popularity cologne...
[11:56] Shirou
    O-Oh, no!
[11:58] Guys
    Give us some!
[12:05] K2
    We've no choice. Kazuya!
[12:09] Guys
    Give it! Give it to us!
[12:12] Guys
    Harem, harem!
[12:13] S
    Dumbasses! No way am I giving it up!
[12:16] S
    It belongs to me!
[12:19] K1
    Obi Strike!
SIGN    We Love
    Shirou-sama
[12:24] S
    Won't... give it... up...
[12:26] K1
    Sorry, guys.
[12:29] O
    Kagami-kun.
[12:31] O
    I'm afraid it's not over just yet.
[12:33] Guys
    Popularity...
[12:36] C
    They're acting strange.
[12:38] K1
    Is the amasogi causing this, too?
[12:41] K2
    The desire that spawned the amasogi
    likely resonates too strongly with them.
[12:45] Guys
    Give it up!
[12:46] K2
    They're not in their right minds.
[12:48] Guys
    Give it to us!
[12:50] S
    Stop! Leave me alone!
[12:52] K1
    Shirou, we're getting out of here!
[12:54] Guys
    Give...
[12:55] Guys
    Us...
[12:55] Guys
    Popularity!
[13:00] Guys
    Wanna get...
[13:01] Guys
    All the chicks...
[13:02] Guys
    Cologne!
[13:03] K2
    To think a single amasogi
    could frenzy them like this...
[13:06] K2
    How desperate are these losers?
[13:08] K1
    Well, you know.
[13:10] K1
    No other choice!
[13:12] K1
    There!
[13:16] C
    Up ahead, too!
[13:17] Guys
    Make us popular!
[13:18] Guys
    Give it!
[13:20] Guys
    Harem!
[13:22] O
    This way.
[13:28] S
    Ow! Ow! Ow!
[13:31] S
    I won't give it up! Never, damn it all!
[13:39] O
    In here.
[13:40] S
    Ow!
[13:45] S
    Ow, ow, ow...
[13:47] O
    We can wait them out here.
[13:50] Guys
    Want girls...
[13:53] Guys
    Want girls...
[13:58] Guys
    Want...
[13:59] Guys
    ...girls!
[14:01] K2
    Don't panic, Kazuya. Cast these beasts aside!
[14:04] K1
    Sledgehammer Weave!
[14:07] K1
    Spiral Weave!
[14:18] K1
    Care to explain?
[14:21] S
    Fine...
[14:23] S
    Yesterday...
[14:25] (Flashback) M
    No, thank you.
[14:28] (Flashback) S
    Wh-Why...?
[14:30] (Flashback) M
    Two months ago, it was
    Suganuma-san the third-year.
[14:34] (Flashback) M
    A month ago it was the first-years
    Miwa-san, followed by Suzuki-san.
[14:39] (Flashback) M
    A week ago it was Akashi-san,
    and then three days ago,
[14:42] (Flashback) M
    you told Shiraishi-san in
    Class 4 you liked her, right?
[14:49] (Flashback) M
    A girl wants someone with eyes for her alone.
[14:54] (Flashback) M
    Goodbye.
[15:02] (Flashback) S
    What's the deal here?
    She seemed to know all about me.
[15:06] (Flashback) S
    Who's the asshole spreading
    the word about all my attempts?
[15:11] (Flashback) S
    Damn it! After I practically
    drenched myself in this crap!
[15:17] (Flashback) S
    So much for "The Hot Guys' Cologne
    that makes all the girls want you!"
SIGN    Do you want all the girls to want you?
SIGN    The super-popular
SIGN    Hot Guys' Cologne
[15:25] (Flashback) S
    Let's see, here.
[15:26] (Flashback) S
    "Wanna score? Here's your ticket!"
[15:29] (Flashback) S
    "The cutting edge Hot Guys' Cologne
    that unleashes your pheromones"?
[15:33] (Flashback) S
    "A splash of this, and all
    the girls will want you"?!
[15:36] (Flashback) S
    "Drench yourself till you reek,
    and you'll be a go-go girl magnet!"
[15:39] (Flashback) ---
    "Caution: May make you too popular."
[15:42] (Flashback) ---
    This is what I needed!
SIGN    Boingy
[15:43] (Flashback) ---
    I'm so gonna buy it!
[15:44] (Flashback) S
    I'm gonna be a go-go
    girl magnet for sure with this!
[15:48] (Flashback) S
    Aw, this is just too good!
[15:54] (Flashback) S
    I should've known better.
[15:59] (Flashback) S
    What a rip-off.
[16:02] (Flashback) S
    Guess I'll pick up Weekly Boingy:
    Heavy Breathing Special and head home.
[16:05] (Flashback) Cologne
    Let's not be hasty.
[16:11] (Flashback) Cologne
    You needn't give up.
[16:16] (Flashback) Cologne
    Try using me once again.
[16:23] S
    And so, I used it.
[16:27] S
    Sorry for trying.
[16:29] K1
    So that's what happened...
[16:31] K2
    If we get any closer, it could affect us.
[16:35] K2
    Careful, now.
[16:36] C
    I understand.
[16:39] K1
    If you don't destroy an amasogi yourself,
    you'll suffer malison atonement.
SIGN    Atonement
[16:42] K1
    Basically, the backlash causes
    bad things to happen.
[16:46] K1
    You'll handle it, right?
[16:47] S
    Yeah, I get it.
[16:57] (Flashback) Girls
    Shirou-sama!
[16:59] (Flashback) Girls
    Oh! We love you!
[17:03] S
    It was fun while it lasted.
[17:05] K1
    Shirou...
[17:06] S
    I know.
[17:07] (Flashback) Girls
    Shirou-sama!
[17:09] K1
    Shirou!
[17:10] S
    I know, okay?!
[17:13] S
    Of this life, I have plenty of
    regrets, but screw it!
[17:27] K1
    Too strong!
[17:28] K1
    This amasogi's effect is too strong!
[17:32] K1
    Help!
[17:35] K1
    I'm home!
[17:44] K5
    Welcome home.
[17:45] K5
    Why the rush?
[17:47] K5
    Goodness, look at your state!
[17:50] K1
    I just had a bit of a fall.
[17:51] K1
    I'll go take a bath to clean off.
[18:03] K1
    What a relief...
[18:06] K1
    Now then.
[18:09] K1
    What do I do with this?
    I brought it along without thinking.
[18:12] K1
    I should've made him
    properly destroy it on the spot.
[18:15] K1
    I guess I can ask him tomorrow.
[18:18] K5
    Ya-kun?
[18:23] K5
    How's the water?
[18:27] K1
    Just right!
[18:29] K1
    That scared me. I'm glad she's normal.
[18:33] K5
    Ya-kun.
[18:35] K1
    Yes?
[18:36] K5
    Can I join you?
[18:39] K1
    Come on, quit joking.
[18:51] K1
    Nee-chan! Your clothes—
[18:55] K5
    Well, I can't bathe with them on.
[18:59] K1
    But that's not the...
[19:01] K4
    Pardon the intrusion.
[19:03] K4
    I will wash your back.
[19:05] K3
    We're gonna join ya!
[19:08] K4
    Consider it an expression of gratitude.
[19:10] K3
    No need to thank us!
[19:12] K4
    Now, Kazuya... Let's clean off together.
[19:15] K3
    Y'know, Kazuyan, if ya rub bodies
    like this, it cleans both of them!
[19:20] K1
    Help!
[19:22] C/K2
    Hold it right there!
[19:26] C
    Kazuya-kun is mine!
[19:28] K2
    No, he belongs to me!
[19:31] K1
    This just got even more complicated!
[19:34] K6
    You've gotten so big, Ya-kun...
[19:42] K4
    What's the matter? You're so stiff.
[19:48] K3
    Does that feel good, Kazuyan?
[19:52] K3
    Does it?
[19:55] K2
    Say, now, what's the matter?
[19:59] K2
    Surely you can handle more.
[20:05] C
    Kazuya-kun, that tickles.
[20:08] K4
    We can put it between mine, like this...
[20:11] C
    It's twitching so much.
[20:15] K6
    Look at all that!
[20:17] K3
    But Kazuyan's still rock hard.
[20:21] C
    It's so warm, Kazuya-kun...
[20:23] K2
    Well, let me try this time.
[20:29] K4
    How was that?
[20:32] K4
    Does it feel good?
[20:33] K1
    Just now... three times...
[20:36] K1
    They were all watching,
    and it happened... three times.
[20:39] K2
    Now, then... let's decide who goes first.
[20:45] K1
    First...?
[20:47] K3
    Ain't it obvious?
[20:49] K4
    The order in which we'll be deflowering you.
[20:55] K2
    Rock, paper, scissors!
[20:57] K2
    One more time!
[20:59] K2
    One more time!
[21:01] K2
    One more time!
[21:02] K2
    One more time!
[21:02] Kazuya
    Sorry, Shirou. The only
    way I get out of this...
[21:04] K2
    One more time!
[21:06] K2
    One more time!
[21:07] K2
    One more time!
[21:09] Kazuya
    is by doing this!
[21:09] K2
    One more time!
[21:11] K2
    One more time!
[21:24] Guy
    My eyes... They're burning...
[21:31] K1
    Afterward, as his malison atonement,
[21:34] K1
    Shirou began emitting an intensely foul odor.
[21:36] Guy
    It stings!
[21:37] K1
    Our class was like hell, and the
    suffering lasted a whole week.
[21:46] Shirou
    What's going on?
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[23:20] K1
    A female student who shouldn't exist
    is appearing like a ghost.
[23:24] K1
    We start digging into what
    seems like a haunting,
[23:27] K1
    when we discover the
    truth behind the trouble!
[23:29] ---
    Next time on Tsugumomo, Chapter 9: "Letter."
SIGN    Letter
[23:32] K1
    Don't miss it!
SIGN    Don't miss it!
SIGN    Illustration by: Kazama Ayami