E22 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Three
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
Okay, on to the next scene.
[00:24] ---
Yuki, use your magic to take out Mikuru.
[00:32] ---
The answer is "no!" of course.
[00:34] ---
I can't give my permission for you to
use your magic, let alone hurt Miss Asahina.
[00:38] ---
Look, Miss Asahina's
turning blue and shaking from fear.
[00:51] ---
Oh well. We'll use CG effects in this scene.
[00:55] ---
Kyon, put in a beam
coming from Yuki's wand, okay?
[01:00] ---
How am I supposed to
put in a visual effect like that?
[01:03] ---
Okay, Mikuru, now scream!
And fall over, like you're in pain.
[01:26] ---
Day by day, everything's just so dull
[01:31] ---
That's why you need to become
someone that can just reject it all
[01:36] ---
Oh my boy, you need to be decisive
[01:40] ---
I won't deal with any lies
in this small world
[01:46] ---
I found myself on my own,
it's natural you'd fall for me
[01:51] ---
Kick away the boring ways of doing things,
[01:53] ---
I'm going to decide everything
[01:57] ---
I say, I say my heaven
[02:00] ---
Super driver, leave everything to the rush
[02:02] ---
And just keep going forward, no matter what
[02:04] ---
Surpass (Don't you stop me)
The idea of "impossible"
[02:08] ---
Take it easy, go!
[02:09] ---
I agree, it's going to be a huge victory
[02:11] ---
Of course, it'll feel pleasant,
no matter what happens
[02:14] ---
A review meeting? (Get back to wild)
Forget that, now hurry up
[02:19] ---
We haven't tried this or that,
we always do things how we want
[02:24] ---
Everything's a new experience,
let's try them out
[02:29] ---
We haven't tried this or that,
we always do things suddenly
[02:34] ---
Everything's a new experience,
what about it?
[02:39] ---
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[02:50] ---
We need a scene with pigeons.
[02:53] ---
There's a shrine nearby.
We're heading there next.
[02:56] ---
We're going to shoot a scene
of Mikuru walking along
[02:58] ---
as some pigeons go flying into the air.
[03:01] ---
I'd love it if these pigeons were all completely white.
[03:01] ---
The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III
[03:03] ---
Please don't feed the pigeons
[03:04] ---
In this case, I'll let the color slide.
[03:07] ---
Can't you read Japanese?
[03:14] ---
What in the world
am I supposed to be filming?
[03:19] ---
This is it, Kyon! Be sure to shoot it!
[03:23] ---
Why are you sitting down, Mikuru?!
[03:25] ---
Hey, you!
[03:31] ---
What?!
[03:34] ---
Retreat!
[03:43] ---
You don't eat much, do you, Mikuru?
[03:47] ---
You'll never grow bigger if you don't eat more.
[03:50] ---
If you only focus on growing your breasts,
you'll only appeal to a hardcore fan base.
[03:54] ---
Be sure to get taller, too.
[03:56] ---
I already know.
[03:58] ---
I don't know how many years from now
it will be, but Miss Asahina will eventually
[04:01] ---
have a face and a body good enough
for her to enter the Miss Universe pageant.
[04:06] ---
Though I don't think she knows that.
[04:09] ---
Haruhi, what are you going to do
if that priest complains to the school?
[04:14] ---
Koizumi's school uniform is a dead giveaway.
[04:18] ---
It'll probably be okay. We were pretty
far away, and blazers are fairly common.
[04:22] ---
Even if he says something,
we can just play stupid.
[04:25] ---
Once we show the movie, I'm pretty sure
our cover will be blown in an instant.
[04:30] ---
I can't imagine there's more than
one waitress who would come out
[04:33] ---
to this shrine and walk amongst the pigeons.
[04:36] ---
So where are we going next?
[04:39] ---
Let's go back to the park again.
[04:42] ---
Now that I think about it, what we got
wasn't enough for a fight scene.
[04:46] ---
Mikuru, being chased through
the forest by Yuki, running for her life.
[04:50] ---
How about we have Mikuru fall off a cliff,
[04:53] ---
and then she's saved by Koizumi,
who just happened to be walking by?
[04:58] ---
What a slapdash way
to come up with the story.
[05:01] ---
This is Haruhi we're talking about,
so she might actually throw her off a cliff.
[05:05] ---
You should fall instead. Put on
that costume and be her stunt double.
[05:10] ---
Well, your breasts aren't quite as big, but...
[05:13] ---
What are you imagining?
[05:15] ---
You're not imagining me
as a waitress, are you?
[05:19] ---
You mind reader...
[05:21] ---
Are we three the only ones
appearing in the film?
[05:24] ---
Don't ask needless questions, you jerk.
[05:27] ---
Well... I wonder,
is three people not enough?
[05:30] ---
Koizumi, you helped me
realize something important.
[05:33] ---
As a reward, I'll give you more screen time.
[05:37] ---
Well... thank you.
[05:39] ---
Serves you right.
[05:41] ---
I didn't say anything because I knew
I'd be stirring up a hornet's nest.
[05:46] ---
You've got to take out the minions
before you can defeat the boss, right?
[05:51] ---
Minions... minions...
[05:52] ---
They'll do, right?
[05:54] ---
That works!
[05:56] ---
Taniguchi and Kunikida.
They're perfect supporting characters,
[05:59] ---
and what's more, they're the ultimate minions.
[06:01] ---
In any case, we're going to have
horrible things happen to you, Mikuru.
[06:05] ---
After all, the theme
of this movie is a pitiful girl
[06:08] ---
that has horrible things happen
to her getting a happy ending!
[06:14] ---
The bigger Mikuru's misfortune is,
the bigger the cathartic release will be!
[06:20] ---
Why are you acting like I'm unreliable?
[06:32] ---
And so we returned to the wooded park.
[06:37] ---
Let's get rid of the guns.
[06:41] ---
I thought more amazing bullets
would come out of them,
[06:43] ---
but they don't give off
any flashy sounds or flames.
[06:45] ---
They just don't feel realistic.
[06:48] ---
Mikuru, you stand here.
[06:52] ---
Yuki, you stand here.
[06:56] ---
Don't move from those spots, okay?
[06:58] ---
I want to shoot a scene where
you two are staring each other down.
[07:01] ---
Koizumi, get the reflector ready.
[07:07] ---
Action!
[07:08] ---
What the?!
[07:11] ---
Action? Haruhi, all you've
told them to do is stand there.
[07:15] ---
What kind of action
are they supposed to take?
[07:25] ---
Come on, you guys!
That won't make for a battle scene at all.
[07:28] ---
Well, they're just standing there, after all.
[07:34] ---
Listen, Mikuru.
[07:35] ---
You can't rest on your laurels
just because you're cute!
[07:39] ---
There are tons of other
cute girls out there, after all.
[07:43] ---
If you just leave things be, you'll be
overtaken by all the young up-and-comers!
[07:48] ---
What is she trying to say?
[07:49] ---
That's why you have to at least
have a beam come from your eye, Mikuru!
[07:55] ---
I can't!
[07:56] ---
That's why your left eye is a different color.
[08:00] ---
I didn't make it blue for no reason.
[08:02] ---
The idea is that there's
incredible power hidden within it.
[08:05] ---
That's what the beam is. It's the Mikuru Beam.
[08:08] ---
That's what you need to fire off.
[08:09] ---
I can't!
[08:10] ---
Show some spirit and fire it!
[08:12] ---
It hurts!
[08:13] ---
You idiot!
[08:14] ---
Cut it out!
[08:15] ---
What are you doing?
[08:17] ---
You need to calm down!
[08:17] ---
Let go!
[08:27] ---
How the hell is a normal human
supposed to shoot a beam from their eye?
[08:29] ---
Are you stupid or something?
[08:33] ---
I know that.
[08:37] ---
I just wanted her to show some spirit,
as if a beam might come out.
[08:41] ---
She lacks the drive you need
to be a lead in a movie, after all.
[08:44] ---
You don't get jokes, do you?
[08:47] ---
That's because your jokes
turn out to not be jokes.
[08:50] ---
What'll happen if Miss Asahina really gets
the ability to shoot a beam from her eye?
[08:55] ---
You can't, right?
[09:01] ---
After we shoot the scene,
we can figure something out using CG, right?
[09:06] ---
Thank you.
[09:08] ---
And who's going to do that?
[09:09] ---
That's what I meant from the start.
[09:13] ---
This take was no good.
Let's take it from the top again.
[09:16] ---
Shout, "Mikuru Beam!"
while you pose like this.
[09:20] ---
L-Like this?
[09:22] ---
No, like this! And close your right eye.
[09:25] ---
Okay, Mikuru. Try saying it.
[09:28] ---
M... M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[09:31] ---
Louder this time!
[09:33] ---
Mikuru Beam!
[09:35] ---
Be less embarrassed about it, and louder!
[09:38] ---
M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[09:41] ---
Project from your diaphragm!
[09:43] ---
The stares coming from the families
watching us are starting to hurt...
[09:46] ---
Okay! Now let's try this for real!
[09:57] ---
Now, use the beam!
[10:02] ---
M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[10:11] ---
Huh? Yuki, when did you go over there?
[10:36] ---
Cut, cut!
[10:37] ---
Miss Nagato!
[10:39] ---
Hold on, Yuki, what are you doing?
[10:41] ---
What are you doing? Hey, Nagato!
[10:41] ---
This isn't in the script.
[10:52] ---
Are you all right?
[10:55] ---
Huh?
[10:55] ---
Oh, what are you two doing?
[10:58] ---
Please don't do anything
that's not in the script.
[11:00] ---
Huh? Mikuru, what happened
to the contact lens?
[11:05] ---
Huh?
[11:06] ---
At a time like this, you ask the one person
who looks like they know what's going on.
[11:11] ---
Nagato, do you know what happened
to Miss Asahina's color contact?
[11:14] ---
I don't.
[11:15] ---
That's a lie.
[11:16] ---
I wonder if it fell out during your struggle.
[11:18] ---
Why can't we find it?
[11:22] ---
Act like you're looking, too.
[11:25] ---
It might have been blown away
by the wind. It is light, after all.
[11:29] ---
What happened? Did it break?
[11:32] ---
I guess it was cheap.
[11:34] ---
Well, it's the Photography Club's,
so I guess that's to be expected.
[11:38] ---
Koizumi, please tape up
the back or something.
[11:41] ---
Right.
[11:44] ---
Without the color contact,
the video won't match up.
[11:48] ---
What do we do?
[11:52] ---
Got it! We'll have the eye color change
happen after she transforms!
[11:57] ---
T-Transform?
[11:58] ---
Of course! It wouldn't be realistic
if you wore that costume all the time!
[12:04] ---
There's something unrealistic about
people who want reality in their fiction.
[12:07] ---
T-That's good. I really would like
to wear a more normal outfit!
[12:14] ---
So your normal clothes are
going to be the bunny girl outfit!
[12:18] ---
W-W-W-Why?!
[12:20] ---
Because that's all I brought.
[12:23] ---
And besides, there'd be nothing showy
on the screen if she wore normal clothes.
[12:27] ---
Well...
[12:27] ---
Wait!
[12:28] ---
I just thought of something!
[12:31] ---
Mikuru is normally a bunny girl who brings
in customers for the shopping strip stores.
[12:36] ---
But when she senses danger, she transforms!
[12:39] ---
That's when she becomes a battling waitress!
[12:42] ---
What do you think? Perfect, right?
[12:43] ---
What happened to the reality
you mentioned before?
[12:46] ---
All right, let's get going.
[12:47] ---
Ow ow ow ow...
[12:51] ---
Thank you for all the hard work...
[12:54] ---
So what was all that ad libbing about?
[13:01] ---
Here.
[13:04] ---
So it was you that took it.
[13:07] ---
Laser.
[13:11] ---
Hey, Nagato.
[13:12] ---
I've always noticed that you keep
your explanations to the bare minimum.
[13:17] ---
How about you speak for at least ten seconds?
[13:20] ---
A coherent, narrow beam of light
invisible to the human eye.
[13:24] ---
I see. A coherent,
narrow beam... invisible...
[13:27] ---
Sorry, I'm even more confused now.
[13:30] ---
A laser?
[13:31] ---
Yes.
[13:32] ---
That's surprising. May I?
[13:36] ---
It looks like a normal contact to me.
[13:39] ---
What do you mean?
[13:42] ---
Would you show me your right palm?
[13:46] ---
Oh, not you. I mean Miss Nagato.
[14:00] ---
It broke through my shield.
[14:02] ---
Don't be so blasé when you say that.
Just looking at it hurts.
[14:05] ---
Incredibly strong. I had to act fast.
[14:08] ---
Did the beam come from
Miss Asahina's left eye?
[14:12] ---
Correct.
[14:14] ---
Just "correct"?!
[14:16] ---
It will be repaired soon.
[14:22] ---
Oh, good grief.
[14:24] ---
Did Miss Asahina actually
shoot a beam from her eye?
[14:27] ---
It's not a particle acceleration cannon.
It's cohesive light.
[14:30] ---
Whatever.
[14:32] ---
Laser, maser, marker-light FAHP,
they're all the same to normal people.
[14:37] ---
The problem remains the fact that
Miss Asahina fired off a heat ray.
[14:41] ---
Not a heat ray. A photon laser.
[14:44] ---
I told you, we don't need the scientific details.
[14:48] ---
Is this an ability that
Miss Asahina has always possessed?
[14:52] ---
No. Currently, Mikuru Asahina
is a normal human being.
[14:57] ---
She is not any different than anyone else.
[15:00] ---
Could there be some sort of
mechanism in that contact?
[15:03] ---
No. It's a simple cosmetic accessory.
[15:05] ---
Which means...
[15:07] ---
If Nagato hadn't protected me, the laser
beam that shot out of Miss Asahina's eye
[15:12] ---
would have probably pierced the video
camera's lens, gone through my eye,
[15:16] ---
roasted various other bits,
and then come out the back of my head.
[15:21] ---
This was Miss Suzumiya's doing.
[15:24] ---
Because she wanted there
to be a Mikuru Beam,
[15:26] ---
reality changed so that there was one.
[15:30] ---
Wait a second.
[15:31] ---
That contact lens hasn't had
any magic cast on it, right?
[15:34] ---
Even if Haruhi wished for it,
why did a killer laser beam come out of it?
[15:38] ---
Miss Suzumiya doesn't need magic
or strange scientific technology.
[15:43] ---
All she needs to do is
think something exists, and it will.
[15:47] ---
But there's no way she actually thinks that
a beam would come shooting out of it.
[15:51] ---
That's true.
[15:52] ---
We all know that Miss Suzumiya
possesses common sense.
[15:56] ---
However, it's also true
that she doesn't subscribe
[15:58] ---
to the world's sensibilities, either.
[16:01] ---
There's probably some sort of
special situation going on.
[16:04] ---
That's... Oh, and she's back.
[16:09] ---
We'll continue this discussion later...
[16:12] ---
How long are you going to complain?
Act more like an actress!
[16:15] ---
A willingness to strip will put you
on the fast track to the blue ribbon!
[16:22] ---
Okay, sorry to keep you waiting!
[16:27] ---
Zoom in!
[16:29] ---
Confirmation completed.
It's definitely the Miss Asahina I know.
[16:33] ---
What are you doing?
[16:39] ---
You mustn't film anything unless I tell you to.
[16:42] ---
I know that. Here's your proof--
I didn't hit the record button.
[16:46] ---
I was just looking at her.
[16:48] ---
Okay, everyone! Eyes here! And get ready.
[17:00] ---
After that, what I filmed
was video of what was supposed to be
[17:03] ---
Miss Asahina's day-to-day activities.
[17:06] ---
What kind of day-to-day life
is she supposed to have?
[17:13] ---
And after pulling
Miss Asahina this way and that...
[17:20] ---
Having a mountain in
the background just doesn't work.
[17:23] ---
Let's go to town.
[17:28] ---
Oh geez.
[17:34] ---
Miss Asahina wore her
bunny girl outfit until the sun set.
[17:40] ---
The only thing she really did
was walk around in that outfit.
[17:47] ---
The idea of "permission to shoot"
doesn't exist in Haruhi's mind,
[17:51] ---
so Haruhi was "free" to just shoot
whatever and wherever she wanted to.
[17:55] ---
This is a dignified freedom, in the same
vein as the papal freedom of action
[17:59] ---
practiced in the time of Pope Innocence III.
[18:02] ---
Or so I'm told.
[18:06] ---
The definition of "free"
is being misunderstood.
[18:13] ---
I guess this works for today.
[18:17] ---
What a long day. Tomorrow's Sunday,
and I'd like to spend it relaxing.
[18:21] ---
Okay, see you tomorrow.
[18:23] ---
We'll be meeting up
at the same time and place.
[18:26] ---
What a carefree girl.
[18:27] ---
I hope she's going to give us
some time to change, at least.
[18:30] ---
What's that?
You've got to get the filming done!
[18:32] ---
We don't have the time to take things slow!
[18:35] ---
You can relax as much as you want
once the school festival is over.
[18:38] ---
Until then, consider your calendar
to be free of days off!
[18:41] ---
Okay, see you tomorrow!
[18:43] ---
We're going to complete
this movie, no matter what.
[18:45] ---
No. As long as I'm the director,
its completion is guaranteed!
[18:50] ---
Everything else hinges on your hard work.
[18:54] ---
Be on time.
[18:55] ---
Anyone that's late will be lynched
and get the death penalty!
[19:03] ---
I'll tell Miss Asahina.
[19:06] ---
Tell her what?
[19:08] ---
About the laser. If she doesn't
change the color of her eye,
[19:12] ---
then a weird laser beam
won't come out of it.
[19:14] ---
Perhaps we should
take a precaution, just in case.
[19:18] ---
I'm sure that she'll cooperate.
[19:21] ---
After all, a beam would be dangerous.
[19:30] ---
Man...
[19:33] ---
...but Nagato just keeps saving my life.
[19:45] ---
Hey, Kyon. This isn't what we talked about.
[19:47] ---
Where's the lovely Miss Asahina?
[19:49] ---
I came here because you said
that she'd come and meet me.
[19:52] ---
Well, she's not here. I came for the eye candy.
[19:54] ---
What are you talking about? You're the hero!
[19:56] ---
So what about it?
[19:57] ---
30% of this movie is riding on you!
[20:01] ---
70% is on me and my genius, of course...
[20:01] ---
All I can see is Suzumiya's angry face.
[20:03] ---
That doesn't matter!
[20:04] ---
This is a scam!
[20:06] ---
It's a scam, so just die.
Just gaze at Nagato or something.
[20:09] ---
But you know, that actually looks
pretty good on Miss Nagato.
[20:12] ---
Kyon! What's up with Mikuru?
[20:16] ---
Ohh, if you keep dawdling like that,
[20:16] ---
It looks like Miss Tsuruya's been
[20:17] ---
we'll never get anywhere!
[20:17] ---
pulled into being an extra, too.
[20:20] ---
So, what are we doing?
[20:20] ---
What?! Get your butt over here already!
[20:22] ---
I came because they told me to
[20:23] ---
if I wasn't doing anything.
[20:24] ---
How do you read that, the words
written on Miss Suzumiya's armband?
[20:27] ---
What are you doing with that handycam?
[20:29] ---
What's with Yuki's outfit?
[20:31] ---
Wow, Koizumi!
You're looking hot today, as usual.
[20:34] ---
What a restless person.
[20:36] ---
What was that? Your stomach hurts?
[20:39] ---
Dummy! That only works
through elementary school!
[20:43] ---
Come here, now! You have thirty seconds!
[20:46] ---
And so it seems that Miss Asahina
has a sudden case of shut-in syndrome.
[20:51] ---
I'm going to go get her. Let me see the bag.
[21:08] ---
I can understand how Miss Asahina feels.
[21:11] ---
After all, it feels like she might end up
as a real transforming hero at this rate.
[21:16] ---
A laser beam is a bit too much, though.
[21:20] ---
But I think we'll be able to
avoid any strange beams coming out.
[21:25] ---
How?
[21:28] ---
Miss Nagato's cooperated with us.
[21:32] ---
What did you do to Miss Asahina?
[21:35] ---
She just removed her ability to shoot lasers.
[21:37] ---
I'm not really sure, either.
[21:40] ---
Unlike the other TFEI terminals,
Miss Nagato doesn't speak very much.
[21:45] ---
What's a TFEI?
[21:48] ---
It's an acronym that
my organization just assigned to them.
[21:51] ---
You don't need to know what it stands for.
[21:54] ---
But I get the feeling that Miss Nagato
is unusual, even amongst "them."
[22:07] ---
Oh, about that thing earlier.
[22:10] ---
On the way back from the convenience
store one night, a taxi passed me.
[22:15] ---
Available Car
[22:15] ---
And I glanced at its "available car" light,
[22:19] ---
but it looked like "beloved car" to me.
[22:21] ---
That's surprising.
[22:23] ---
But before I could take another
look at it, it drove off.
[22:27] ---
And that's when I realized that maybe
what I'm missing in my life is love.
[22:33] ---
Maybe it really did have
"beloved car" written on the light.
[22:36] ---
I'm sure it was a private taxi.
[22:40] ---
I never thought we'd be
relying on these two idiots.
[22:45] ---
You're not going to get away
with pretending to be sick.
[22:48] ---
We're going to start filming right away!
[22:52] ---
Heya, Mikuru! Wow, that's really sexy!
[22:57] ---
I'm sorry I'm late.
[22:59] ---
Oh, I don't mind.
[23:01] ---
Heya, Miss Suzumiya!
[23:03] ---
I'm sorry about yesterday.
[23:05] ---
It looks like I ended up firing off
a laser weapon without realizing it.
[23:08] ---
Oh no, I wasn't hurt, after all.
[23:18] ---
I was bitten.
[23:20] ---
By what?
[23:21] ---
By Miss Nagato.
[23:22] ---
She said she injected some
nanomachines or something into me...
[23:26] ---
But it looks like nothing will be
coming out of my eye anymore.
[23:29] ---
Thank goodness.
[23:30] ---
What did she inject into you?
[23:32] ---
Last night, she and Koizumi
came to my house together.
[23:36] ---
What are you two whispering about?
[23:38] ---
You're so cute, Mikuru.
I'd love to keep you as a pet!
[23:42] ---
Don't look. You'll take away
some of her cuteness.
[23:44] ---
Okay, I've decided where we're shooting next!
[23:46] ---
There's a big lake near where Koizumi lives.
[23:50] ---
Let's head there to shoot for now.
[23:52] ---
Filming Crew
[24:04] ---
It fell from the sky
[24:07] ---
With all of the wishes that were made upon it
[24:09] ---
Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star
[24:15] ---
Something just doesn't seem right
[24:17] ---
The image of you in my mind has vanished
[24:20] ---
Can I say that I remember you clearly?
[24:24] ---
Stop!
[24:26] ---
The past belongs to me
[24:30] ---
Of course I don't want
to trade it with anyone else
[24:34] ---
That's because
[24:36] ---
It was my birthday,
and when we saw each other
[24:41] ---
We could see the first dream
[24:43] ---
That we had when we were born
[24:46] ---
Worrying about "what do I do?"
[24:51] ---
Is laughable when I think about it now
[24:55] ---
I've already forgotten it
[24:58] ---
Let's search for you
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