E24 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Five
Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
I do.
[00:24] ---
Nagato led us to the back
of her apartment building.
[00:31] ---
Oh, they all seem used to people.
[00:36] ---
Black cat, black cat...
[00:43] ---
Oh well. Let's use this one.
[00:46] ---
And she's changed the set up again.
[00:48] ---
It's not black, but I guess
we don't have a choice.
[00:51] ---
Okay, Yuki! This is your partner!
[00:54] ---
Be good friends!
[00:57] ---
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:03] ---
The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya V
[01:04] ---
And so we started filming again.
[01:06] ---
It looks like it doesn't matter where we shoot.
[01:08] ---
Yuki! Attack Mikuru!
[01:12] ---
Take this...
[01:16] ---
Okay, cut! Nice!
[01:18] ---
We'll make that cat talk!
[01:21] ---
He's a witch's cat, after all.
[01:23] ---
So he should at least make
one or two snide remarks, right?
[01:25] ---
How absurd.
[01:26] ---
Your name is Shamisen!
Come on, Shamisen, say something!
[01:32] ---
There's no way he'd talk.
Actually, please don't talk.
[01:36] ---
Wait, "Shamisen"?!
[01:39] ---
Hmm, pretty good.
[01:41] ---
Kyon, I'm going to
leave that cat's care to you.
[01:44] ---
Take him home with you.
[01:46] ---
You have until tomorrow
to teach him a trick or two.
[01:49] ---
Like jumping through a ring of fire!
[01:52] ---
Okay, we're done for today!
[01:54] ---
Tomorrow we'll be shooting the climax!
[01:57] ---
The filming's going smoothly!
Everyone's healthy!
[01:59] ---
Rest well, everyone!
And prepare yourselves for tomorrow!
[02:15] ---
Good work. I'll buy you
a can of cat food in a bit.
[02:20] ---
Or would you prefer dried sardines?
[02:22] ---
I'm okay with either.
[02:29] ---
Hey now, was that you, Nagato?
I was asking the cat.
[02:33] ---
That was my intention. That's why I answered.
[02:37] ---
Did I say something wrong?
[02:43] ---
What a surprise. He's a calico and he's male.
[02:46] ---
No, that's not why you should be surprised.
[02:49] ---
What a surprise.
[02:50] ---
For a cat to speak...
[02:53] ---
I don't understand why you're all surprised.
[02:57] ---
He's a bakeneko,
or some kind of nekomata.
[03:00] ---
It's true that the sounds
that are coming from me
[03:03] ---
might sound like human words to you.
[03:06] ---
If that's the case,
then why are you trying to confirm
[03:10] ---
that I said what it sounds like I said?
[03:14] ---
Well, you know. It's because you're
actually answering my questions.
[03:18] ---
But it might just be that
the sounds that I'm making
[03:22] ---
just happen to mesh with
what you're saying, right?
[03:26] ---
If that's the case, then that
wouldn't make it a conversation,
[03:29] ---
even if it were between two humans.
[03:32] ---
Exactly.
[03:34] ---
Even if two people are acting like
they're talking to one another,
[03:37] ---
no one can be sure if they're
properly expressing how they feel.
[03:43] ---
Many people do say one thing
even if they feel another way, after all.
[03:46] ---
Shut up, you.
[03:47] ---
Now that you mention it, that's true...
[03:51] ---
I'm sorry, but could you
please be quiet, too?
[03:58] ---
The situation is pretty bad.
[04:01] ---
We've underestimated Miss Suzumiya yet again.
[04:06] ---
Umm... What do you mean?
[04:10] ---
There's a chance that the setting
of Miss Suzumiya's movie
[04:12] ---
will become the everyday
reality of the world.
[04:16] ---
If she thinks to herself, "I'd like to shoot
a scene of a giant meteor impact,"
[04:20] ---
then it might become reality.
[04:26] ---
Then what can we do?
[04:28] ---
We have to prevent the erosion
of our reality by her imagination.
[04:32] ---
Right now, she's unconsciously
mixing up reality and fiction.
[04:36] ---
She is getting pretty carried away.
[04:39] ---
Miss Suzumiya's
unusual abilities are coming out
[04:42] ---
through the filter of her moviemaking.
[04:45] ---
To prevent this, we need to
make Miss Suzumiya understand
[04:48] ---
that this is simply fiction, and logically
guide this film into something more stable.
[04:54] ---
And how are we supposed to
rationalize a talking cat?
[04:57] ---
I'm not talking about rationalizing things.
[05:00] ---
If we did, we'd end up with
a world setting where cats talk.
[05:05] ---
But that's not possible in our world.
[05:08] ---
Well, what about you guys?
[05:11] ---
Well, it's true that we exist
thanks to Miss Suzumiya.
[05:16] ---
The same as that talking cat.
[05:18] ---
Can't we do something about this?
[05:20] ---
If this were a fantasy world,
then we wouldn't need any explanations.
[05:24] ---
But the moment we show proof
of a talking cat or a Mikuru Beam,
[05:30] ---
then our world will change.
[05:32] ---
The world will have to change from one
where there are no supernatural phenomena
[05:37] ---
to one that is aware of them.
[05:39] ---
Okay, then what do we do?
[05:41] ---
We just have to put an ending on
the movie that Miss Suzumiya will accept.
[05:46] ---
Does that even exist?
[05:47] ---
It does.
[05:49] ---
It's an incredibly simple ending that
can take any events that make no sense
[05:52] ---
and make them all reasonable in a second.
[05:57] ---
Spit it out.
[05:58] ---
"It was all a dream."
[06:02] ---
I wasn't joking.
[06:05] ---
Do you think you'll be able to
convince Haruhi to do that?
[06:08] ---
It might be difficult.
[06:10] ---
But in this case, mentioning that
everything in the movie is a dream,
[06:16] ---
a lie, or a misunderstanding
is the best way to resolve it all.
[06:21] ---
That's probably true for you...
[06:23] ---
I might think that's the best way, too.
But what about Haruhi?
[06:41] ---
Okay, don't say a single word in the house.
[06:44] ---
Act like a cat, got it?
[06:46] ---
I don't know what "like a cat" means,
but I'll do as you ask.
[06:51] ---
Don't talk. Make all of your answers "meow."
[06:54] ---
Meow.
[06:56] ---
Cat cat cat!
[06:59] ---
Meow.
[07:01] ---
There we go.
[07:05] ---
All right, see you later.
[07:07] ---
As you wish.
[07:10] ---
Only a few days remained
until the school festival.
[07:13] ---
It felt as if a chaotic atmosphere
was steadily spreading
[07:16] ---
throughout the school, connecting
everyone to Haruhi's excitement.
[07:21] ---
We have to find the legendary
Crystal Crescent Orb, and quickly!
[07:25] ---
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[07:27] ---
It's like it wouldn't be strange at all
[07:29] ---
if a couple of people from
another world got mixed up in all of this.
[07:34] ---
Kyon!
[07:36] ---
Mikuru says she has something
she wants to talk to you about!
[07:38] ---
Go on, Mikuru, give that to him!
[07:42] ---
Oh, this... umm... it's a c-c-coupon!
[07:45] ---
Oh, this... umm... it's a c-c-coupon!
[07:45] ---
Yakisoba Café Acorn
[07:45] ---
Discount coupon
[07:47] ---
It's for the yakisoba café our class is doing!
[07:51] ---
Thank you very much.
[07:53] ---
Please bring some friends with you.
[07:56] ---
That's all! See ya!
[08:13] ---
Kyon...
[08:14] ---
What's up?
[08:16] ---
Well, if I say this, it will look like
Koizumi is one of those...
[08:21] ---
And... I don't like it, but...
[08:24] ---
Uh-huh.
[08:25] ---
I, you see... I have
a different way of thinking...
[08:29] ---
In other words... it's a different
interpretation from Koizumi's.
[08:36] ---
Are you talking about the whole
"Haruhi is God" thing?
[08:44] ---
There's no mistaking that Miss Suzumiya
has the power to change the present.
[08:49] ---
But I don't think it's the power
to change how the world works.
[08:53] ---
The world has always been like this.
[08:55] ---
I see... This is completely opposite
of what Koizumi says.
[09:00] ---
I think that Miss Nagato
probably thinks differently, too.
[09:05] ---
Umm... This might give you
a bad impression of him, but...
[09:10] ---
...if I said... you shouldn't trust Koizumi...
it might be misleading, but...
[09:19] ---
Umm, I'm sorry...
I'm no good at explaining things,
[09:23] ---
and I'm under certain restrictions,
so I... But l...!
[09:31] ---
I understand. There's no way
Haruhi could be God.
[09:36] ---
Your explanation is easier to understand
than Koizumi's, Miss Asahina.
[09:42] ---
Thank you...
[09:44] ---
But please understand. I don't have
anything against Koizumi himself.
[09:51] ---
Sure.
[09:52] ---
Literature Club
[09:54] ---
This is what is believed to be
Mikuru Asahina's assertions.
[09:57] ---
Haruhi Suzumiya is not
the one who created the world,
[10:00] ---
but that this world has always been this way.
[10:04] ---
Psychic powers and time travel,
[10:06] ---
extraterrestrial life forms and other
supernatural beings have always existed.
[10:11] ---
Haruhi Suzumiya's role is to
unconsciously discover them,
[10:16] ---
and that this ability
manifested three years ago.
[10:19] ---
However, while she can find
the unusual, she can never realize it.
[10:24] ---
Because there exists something to interfere
with her making those realizations.
[10:29] ---
And that is us.
[10:33] ---
So Miss Asahina has
a different reason from Koizumi
[10:36] ---
for not wanting Haruhi
to discover anything mysterious?
[10:39] ---
Yes. She came to this era
to protect the future that she is from.
[10:46] ---
It almost feels like she's revealing
vital information like it's no big deal.
[10:50] ---
Itsuki Koizumi and Mikuru Asahina will never
agree with each other's interpretations.
[10:55] ---
To them, the other's theory can only serve
to disrupt the basis of their own existence.
[11:02] ---
Hold on. Koizumi said that he didn't have
his esper powers until three years ago.
[11:07] ---
There is no proof anywhere
that what Itsuki Koizumi says is true.
[11:14] ---
It's true. There's no proof...
[11:15] ---
Koizumi's theory just attaches
an acceptable explanation
[11:18] ---
to some events that have involved me.
[11:21] ---
Who knows if that's correct?
[11:23] ---
And Miss Asahina's theory is the same.
[11:26] ---
Who can guarantee that
the Asahina version is correct?
[11:31] ---
What do you think? Which one is right?
[11:35] ---
What about the possibility of autonomous
self-determination you mentioned?
[11:40] ---
No matter which truth I present,
[11:42] ---
there is no way for you to obtain any proof.
[11:44] ---
Why not?!
[11:52] ---
Because there is no proof anywhere
that I'm speaking the truth.
[11:58] ---
Not to you...
[12:06] ---
I don't know. Who would, normally?
[12:09] ---
Koizumi, Nagato,
[12:10] ---
I won't give you the orb!
[12:10] ---
please give me an easier to understand explanation.
[12:12] ---
Come back here!
[12:17] ---
The only one who thought
the filming was going well was Haruhi.
[12:21] ---
Because of this, the grim looks
on the faces of Koizumi,
[12:23] ---
Miss Asahina, and myself
had awfully dark shadows.
[12:28] ---
At some point, the model guns started firing
[12:31] ---
water-hammer rounds instead of BBs.
[12:34] ---
Haruhi brought Miss Asahina contacts
of other different colors,
[12:37] ---
and she started firing off
other dangerous things.
[12:39] ---
And every time, she was bitten by Nagato.
[12:42] ---
Just as the cherry trees
were starting to blossom,
[12:44] ---
a few days later they had all fallen off.
[12:46] ---
The white pigeons at the shrine
[12:48] ---
had turned into passenger pigeons,
which have long since been extinct.
[12:52] ---
And it looks like the progression
of the seasons is a little bit off.
[12:58] ---
The current highs for Nikkei futures
have risen to 9360 yen,
[13:02] ---
with a low of around 9250...
[13:02] ---
Kyon, your friend's here!
[13:08] ---
Yo.
[13:13] ---
The details and foreshadowing
don't matter to Miss Suzumiya.
[13:18] ---
She probably hasn't
thought of an ending, either.
[13:21] ---
It might end incomplete.
[13:25] ---
That would be a problem, right?
[13:28] ---
Our theory is that it would be problematic
if the world became more like fiction.
[13:36] ---
To tell the truth,
my agency and Miss Asahina's group
[13:40] ---
aren't the only ones whose theories
center around Miss Suzumiya.
[13:46] ---
There are a lot of them.
[13:49] ---
There have been enough conflicts
and bloody exterminations
[13:54] ---
for me to want to
explain it all in digest format.
[13:57] ---
Alliances and betrayals,
interference and sneak attacks,
[14:00] ---
destruction and mass murder.
[14:02] ---
Each group has brought forth all of
their strength in an attempt to survive.
[14:08] ---
Well, this has nothing to do with you.
Or Miss Suzumiya.
[14:15] ---
And I would prefer that Miss Suzumiya
never found out about any of this.
[14:19] ---
I don't want to do anything
that will cloud her mind.
[14:23] ---
My criterion is that Miss Suzumiya
has a character that should be loved.
[14:30] ---
Oh, you do too, of course.
[14:33] ---
Why are you telling me this?
[14:36] ---
I just blurted it out. There's no reason.
[14:40] ---
After all, it's just nonsense.
[14:43] ---
That's true. It's not amusing at all.
[14:47] ---
There's one more bit of nonsense.
[14:50] ---
Have you ever wondered
why Miss Asahina has joined us?
[14:58] ---
Her job is to get you on her side.
[15:02] ---
The only one that can get Miss Suzumiya
to listen to them at all is you, after all.
[15:08] ---
Being able to get a grip
on you would be perfect.
[15:12] ---
Her young appearance,
[15:14] ---
her submissively obeying
Miss Suzumiya's unreasonable demands,
[15:17] ---
and her pitiful demeanor.
[15:20] ---
It's all to get you to focus on her.
[15:24] ---
I'm tired of you and your jokes.
[15:32] ---
Oh, I'm sorry.
[15:34] ---
It looks like I lack
the ability to keep a joke going.
[15:39] ---
I'm lying. Did you take that seriously?
[15:43] ---
Between Miss Suzumiya's movie
and my class's play,
[15:47] ---
I'm under a lot of pressure.
[15:50] ---
If a closed space opened up
in addition to all that,
[15:53] ---
I'm pretty sure that I would collapse.
[15:56] ---
Which is why I came to make a request of you.
[15:59] ---
Please, can you do something
to stop Miss Suzumiya's movie
[16:02] ---
from being the source of
all of the strange phenomena?
[16:05] ---
Make Haruhi realize that
her movie is nothing but nonsense?
[16:12] ---
Was that it?
[16:13] ---
As long as she clearly understands that.
[16:17] ---
And if possible, before we finish filming.
[16:27] ---
I'm counting on you.
[16:33] ---
What the heck is up with him?
[16:35] ---
Did he come just to
push the responsibility onto me?
[16:40] ---
But still...
[16:46] ---
I guess I can't just let it be.
[16:48] ---
God, this is annoying.
[16:51] ---
A movie is a movie, and reality is reality.
[16:54] ---
They're two different things.
[16:56] ---
That's so obvious, so why in the world
do I have to convince her of that?
[17:00] ---
Koizumi said to make it "all just
a dream," but what else is there...
[17:14] ---
The next day, I went to Haruhi
with a single suggestion,
[17:18] ---
and after a lot of discussion,
I got her to understand.
[17:22] ---
Okay, then!
[17:23] ---
Good work, everyone!
With this, we're finished filming!
[17:28] ---
You all did your best!
[17:30] ---
Let's meet up in the clubroom
first thing tomorrow morning
[17:32] ---
and preview the movie!
[17:36] ---
Mikuru, it's too soon to cry!
[17:38] ---
Save those tears for when
you get a Palme d'Or or an Oscar!
[17:42] ---
Let's all be happy together!
[17:46] ---
Mikuru and Yuki's last battle suddenly
awakens Itsuki Koizumi's powers
[17:51] ---
and this hard to understand,
deus ex machina power
[17:54] ---
knocks Yuki to the far reaches of the universe.
[17:57] ---
With this, the curtain closes
on our story. Wait, it's closing?!
[17:59] ---
So it's finally over.
[18:04] ---
Okay, Mikuru, come here!
[18:04] ---
You know, it feels like it all ended in an instant.
[18:06] ---
Miss Suzumiya, aren't we done?
[18:08] ---
They say time flies when you're having fun...
[18:11] ---
Though I wonder who was
the one having fun here.
[18:14] ---
Who knows?
[18:16] ---
Can I leave the rest to you?
[18:20] ---
My head is packed with the things
I need for my class' play.
[18:23] ---
Unlike a movie, I don't get
a retake if I mess up a line.
[18:31] ---
Oh, one more thing.
[18:33] ---
We're grateful to you.
Both the agency, and me personally.
[18:41] ---
Okay, shout it loud!
[18:44] ---
We're aiming for a Hollywood blockbuster!
[18:47] ---
We'll get the Golden Bear
and the Golden Lion awards!
[18:50] ---
That's it! Now, Mikuru, point at the future!
[18:54] ---
Oh brother.
[18:58] ---
To be honest, up until the end I didn't have
a pixel's worth of understanding
[19:03] ---
of what Haruhi was trying to film.
[19:05] ---
It's probably obvious,
but no matter where we searched,
[19:08] ---
we didn't have the time to put in the visual
effects, or the technology for that matter.
[19:14] ---
And so Haruhi complained.
[19:16] ---
We can't show off an unfinished film like this!
[19:19] ---
Do something about it!
[19:20] ---
The school festival
is tomorrow. I'm at my limit.
[19:24] ---
If you stay up all night, you'll make it, right?
[19:26] ---
You can just stay here overnight.
[19:31] ---
And I'll help, too.
[19:36] ---
They'll know that those are BBs!
[19:36] ---
In the end, Haruhi was of no help whatsoever.
[19:49] ---
To be fair, I fell asleep, too.
[19:55] ---
Kyon! Hey, wake up!
[20:03] ---
So, how did it turn out?
[20:05] ---
There was no point to staying overnight.
The movie is still unfinished.
[20:10] ---
...from the future!
[20:21] ---
It's not bad. It's not quite all there,
but for you, it's pretty good.
[20:26] ---
It wasn't me. Someone else did it.
[20:30] ---
Best odds, Nagato. Next best, Koizumi.
Miss Asahina, unlikely.
[20:34] ---
And the long shot would be
[20:36] ---
someone who has yet to appear.
[20:36] ---
Mikuru, you have to fight back!
[20:39] ---
Good morning. How did it turn out?
[20:43] ---
Good morning...
[20:45] ---
Good morning! It's done, of course!
[20:48] ---
Our feature-length spectacle
built on our blood, sweat, and tears!
[20:53] ---
Oh, is that so?
[20:55] ---
That's wonderful.
[20:59] ---
Let's all watch it together!
[21:01] ---
Audio/Visual Room
[21:01] ---
Mikuru, you were great!
[21:04] ---
You'll completely capture the hearts
of the whole audience with this!
[21:07] ---
It's perfect, Mikuru!
[21:10] ---
The school festival started,
and there was nothing more for me to do.
[21:14] ---
The changes to reality that we feared
seemed to come to a stop.
[21:18] ---
I knew this when Shamisen stopped talking.
[21:23] ---
Speaking of stopping, I stopped seeing
those strangely dressed guys
[21:26] ---
that I had seen a lot in the days
before the school festival.
[21:28] ---
There weren't any plays in the festival
that they might have been in,
[21:32] ---
so I wonder who they were.
[21:36] ---
North High Fest
[21:38] ---
Screening in progress
[21:38] ---
The movie ended with Haruhi doing some narration.
[21:42] ---
I convinced her to close the movie
with a director's speech
[21:45] ---
by telling her it was important
[21:45] ---
This story is fictional.
[21:46] ---
to mention that it was all in fun.
[21:46] ---
Characters, organizations, incidents...
[21:48] ---
Those were the magic words
[21:49] ---
that cancelled out everything.
[21:49] ---
...other proper names, and events are not real.
[21:53] ---
It's all a lie.
[21:54] ---
Even if there's a resemblance, it's coincidence.
[21:57] ---
Oh, not the ads.
[21:59] ---
Support Ohmori Electronics and
Yamatsuchi Model Shop. Buy lots.
[22:05] ---
Say it again?
[22:08] ---
This story is fictional.
[22:10] ---
Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:13] ---
Hey, Kyon, why do I have to say that?
[22:18] ---
Kitaguchi Station-front Park
[22:20] ---
If there's one thing that bothers Haruhi
in spite of her devil-may-care attitude,
[22:24] ---
it's that "the world is too normal."
[22:28] ---
As for what she considers to be "not normal,"
it would be the supernatural.
[22:35] ---
She expresses this by saying things like,
[22:38] ---
"Why haven't I seen even
a single ghost? What's up with that?"
[22:43] ---
I've got something important
to tell you, so listen closely.
[22:46] ---
What is it?
[22:47] ---
You want there to be aliens, future people,
[22:50] ---
and people with esper powers, right?
[22:53] ---
Well, yeah. What about it?
[22:55] ---
There actually are aliens,
future people, and espers,
[22:59] ---
closer than you could ever imagine.
[23:02] ---
Really, and who would they be?
[23:05] ---
Don't tell me that you mean
Yuki or Mikuru or Koizumi.
[23:10] ---
They wouldn't count as
"closer than I could imagine."
[23:14] ---
Umm, actually...
That was what I was going to say.
[23:22] ---
Are you stupid?
There's no way it would be that easy.
[23:29] ---
Well, if you think about it, that's true.
[23:34] ---
Okay, so who's what?
[23:36] ---
Listen and rejoice. Yuki Nagato is an alien.
[23:40] ---
The Information something-or-other Entity?
[23:42] ---
She's an agent for something like that.
[23:44] ---
Oh yeah! Humanoid interface!
That's what it was!
[23:50] ---
What about Mikuru?
[23:51] ---
Miss Asahina is pretty simple
to explain. She's a future person.
[23:56] ---
She came from the future,
so she's a future person.
[23:59] ---
How far in the future did she come from?
[24:01] ---
I don't know. She wouldn't tell me.
[24:06] ---
Aha, I get it.
[24:08] ---
So you understand now?
[24:09] ---
Which means that Koizumi is an esper?
That's what you're going to say, right?
[24:15] ---
Yes! That's exactly what I was going to say!
[24:27] ---
Don't screw around with me!
[24:33] ---
Why is this crazy woman
so realistic about the weirdest things?
[24:38] ---
If she would just believe me,
everything would be so much easier.
[24:43] ---
T-Thank you very much!
[24:49] ---
Then again, if Haruhi just knew about
all of the phenomena around her,
[24:52] ---
I don't know what would happen to the world.
[25:01] ---
Oh brother.
[25:03] ---
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