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E2 - The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Two

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:23] ---
    It's been about a month
    since we entered school...
[00:26] ---
    ...and I've enjoyed this
    early hiking course as much as I could...
[00:31] ---
    ...like Sisyphus trying to
    roll the boulder up the hilltop.
[00:35] ---
    But along with that, something happened...
[00:38] ---
    ...that broke my composure
    with a magnitude 8.0 earthquake.
[00:43] ---
    N-No, I'll rephrase that to "something started."
[00:49] ---
    If there isn't one, I just make my own!
[00:52] ---
    A club!
[00:53] ---
    Help me out.
[00:55] ---
    I just came up with a name!
[00:59] ---
    The SOS Brigade!
[01:02] ---
    This is the start of a never-ending hell...
[01:05] ---
    ...thanks to Haruhi Suzumiya, a rare eccentric.
[01:08] ---
    Good morning.
[01:10] ---
    Oh, morning.
[01:11] ---
    I forgot I had class duties.
[01:13] ---
    I have to get the log from the teacher's lounge.
[01:16] ---
    Sorry, I'm going on ahead.
[01:19] ---
    A girl like that's in my class, yet...
[01:25] ---
    Hey, Kyon, what else do you think we need?
[01:29] ---
    What?
[01:29] ---
    I think we need the mysterious
    transfer student covered.
[01:34] ---
    Please make the context clear when you talk.
[01:37] ---
    The SOS Brigade's needs!
    I'd like a mysterious transfer student.
[01:42] ---
    Before that, define "mysterious."
[01:45] ---
    It hasn't been two months since the new year.
[01:49] ---
    Don't you think a transfer
    this soon is mysterious enough?
[01:54] ---
    Dads get relocated suddenly.
[01:57] ---
    No, it's unnatural.
[01:59] ---
    I'd like to know what you'd consider "natural."
[02:02] ---
    Hm, I wonder if we'll get
    a mysterious transfer student.
[02:07] ---
    In other words, you don't
    give a hoot about my opinions.
[02:18] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[02:33] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[02:39] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[02:45] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[02:51] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[03:00] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[03:02] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[03:07] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...

[03:11] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[03:14] ---
    Please come with me.
[03:17] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[03:23] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.

[03:28] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[03:35] ---
    I believe you...
[03:44] ---
    It seems there's a rumor
[03:45] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya II
[03:46] ---
    Haruhi and I are up to something.
[03:50] ---
    What are you doing with Suzumiya?
[03:53] ---
    You haven't started dating, right?
[03:56] ---
    Of course not.
[03:57] ---
    I'd like to know more than
    anyone else what I'm doing right now.
[04:02] ---
    Take it easy. This isn't junior high.
[04:06] ---
    If you make the grounds unusable,
    you'd at least get suspended.
[04:11] ---
    I have to make sure Yuki Nagato
    and Mikuru Asahina aren't affected.
[04:16] ---
    Brigade Leader
[04:18] ---
    Since the SOS Brigade's founding...
[04:18] ---
    Brigade Leader
[04:19] ---
    ...the desolate literature clubroom
    started to gain all sorts of stuff.
[04:24] ---
    Or rather, is she planning on living here?
[04:28] ---
    I'd like a computer here too!
[04:32] ---
    It's unforgivable not to have a PC
    when information rules society.
[04:37] ---
    And who won't you forgive?
[04:40] ---
    We'll go get one.
[04:42] ---
    Hey, you have a lead?
    Gonna rob an electronics store?
[04:46] ---
    Of course not. Somewhere that's closer.
[04:47] ---
    Computer Club
[04:50] ---
    Hello!
[04:52] ---
    I'm here to get a computer and its accessories!
[04:57] ---
    Who's the leader?
[04:59] ---
    What do you want?
[05:01] ---
    There's only one reason to come
    all the way to the computer club.
[05:05] ---
    Give me just one PC.
[05:08] ---
    What's all this now?
[05:10] ---
    You can spare one. You have so many.
[05:13] ---
    Before that, who are you?
[05:15] ---
    SOS Brigade leader, Haruhi Suzumiya.
[05:18] ---
    These two are henchmen ♪1 and ♪2.
[05:23] ---
    So don't give me crap and hand one over.
[05:26] ---
    For what reason? Of course I won't!
[05:33] ---
    Oh, I see.
[05:34] ---
    Then I have other plans...
[05:44] ---
    What the...
[05:50] ---
    W-What are you...
[05:52] ---
    Now, one more shot.
[05:58] ---
    What are you doing?
[06:00] ---
    Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[06:02] ---
    I have a photo of your sexual harassment.
[06:05] ---
    If you don't want it all over campus,
    hurry up and hand over a PC.
[06:10] ---
    This is ludicrous! You forced me!
[06:13] ---
    I'm innocent!
[06:15] ---
    I wonder how many will listen to your side.
[06:22] ---
    They're all witnesses!
[06:24] ---
    That's right!
[06:26] ---
    Our leader's not at fault!
[06:28] ---
    I'll just say that all the members
    ganged up and <BEEP>ed her!
[06:34] ---
    That's too...
[06:35] ---
    Well? Will you hand it over or not?
[06:38] ---
    M-Miss Suzumiya...
[06:52] ---
    Take whichever one you want.
[06:55] ---
    Leader!
[06:57] ---
    Get a grip...
[06:58] ---
    Think straight...
[07:00] ---
    What comedy show is this?
[07:05] ---
    Which one's newest?
[07:07] ---
    Why do I have to tell you that?
[07:14] ---
    Damn. It's that one.
[07:16] ---
    I got a list of recent computer models
    at a PC shop yesterday.
[07:22] ---
    This one isn't listed on it.
[07:28] ---
    I'll take this one.
[07:30] ---
    W-Wait! That's the one
    I just bought last month...
[07:37] ---
    Take it, you thief.
[07:39] ---
    As you say, she really is a thief.
[07:42] ---
    Well, Kyon.
[07:44] ---
    Carry it.
[07:45] ---
    And like that, Haruhi procured
    a state-of-the-art computer.
[07:51] ---
    Finding the clubroom
    can't connect to the Internet...
[07:54] ---
    ...she calls the computer club leader
    and others to pull LAN cables...
[07:58] ---
    ...and arrange a Net connection
    using the school domain.
[08:02] ---
    This is a thief standing proud.
[08:08] ---
    For now, let's go back.
[08:14] ---
    Miss Asahina, it's better not to
    be involved in such a strange brigade.
[08:20] ---
    You don't know what
    she'll be doing to you in the future.
[08:25] ---
    No, it's all right.
[08:32] ---
    You're staying too, right?
[08:38] ---
    I'm sure that this is
    a necessity in this time plane...
[08:45] ---
    And that Miss Nagato is here too worries me.
[08:48] ---
    What does?
[08:50] ---
    Oh, nothing.
[08:54] ---
    I'm rather inexperienced,
    but my best regards for the future.
[08:59] ---
    And about me... Please call me Mikuru.
[09:07] ---
    Now then, what was waiting next...
[09:07] ---
    SOS Brigade website creation
[09:12] ---
    So who'll make this "website" or whatever?
[09:16] ---
    You're bored anyway, right?
[09:18] ---
    You do it.
[09:20] ---
    I have to go find the remaining members.
[09:23] ---
    Get it done in a day or two.
[09:25] ---
    There's no way to be active
    without a running website.
[09:34] ---
    Building a website, huh...
[09:37] ---
    So I thought, but I was amused and made one.
[09:40] ---
    The computer club installed
    most of the applications, so it was easy.
[09:45] ---
    A good way to spend a boring lunch break.
[09:48] ---
    Welcome to the SOS Brigade website!
[09:48] ---
    What kind of things do I write?
[09:51] ---
    I don't even know what
    the SOS Brigade is meant to be doing.
[09:56] ---
    Nagato, have anything you want to write?
[09:59] ---
    Nothing.
[10:05] ---
    All things aside,
    is she really attending her classes?
[10:23] ---
    Oh no, class time.
[10:28] ---
    I'll lend you this.
[10:48] ---
    The speculations never end...
[10:50] ---
    ...but why do I eagerly
    commute to the clubroom?
[10:54] ---
    Why?
[10:56] ---
    Is this what you call habit, or perhaps...
[11:00] ---
    Hello!
[11:02] ---
    Or rather, are they really bored or something?
[11:06] ---
    I can't say I'm not either...
[11:08] ---
    Where's Miss Suzumiya?
[11:10] ---
    Dunno. She was already gone
    during sixth period.
[11:14] ---
    Maybe she's stealing some other
    material from somewhere.
[11:19] ---
    Will I face something like yesterday?
[11:22] ---
    It'll be fine. Next time,
    I'll do everything I can to prevent that.
[11:26] ---
    Really?
[11:28] ---
    Thank you. I trust you to do so.
[11:32] ---
    I'll be trusted.
[11:33] ---
    Yoo-hoo!
[11:36] ---
    "Yoo-hoo"?
[11:42] ---
    Look first.
[11:43] ---
    Policy explanation of
    the SOS Brigade's founding...
[11:49] ---
    And this.
[11:51] ---
    Ta-dah! We're going to
    wear this and pass out flyers.
[11:56] ---
    Where?
[11:57] ---
    The main gate. Students are going home now.
[12:00] ---
    And wear what?
[12:02] ---
    Not you. Mikuru will wear it.
[12:06] ---
    Yes?
[12:06] ---
    A bunny girl!
[12:08] ---
    Um, um, how do I...
[12:10] ---
    Well, get changed!
[12:12] ---
    I don't want to.
[12:13] ---
    Shut up! Strip!
[12:17] ---
    Suzumiya! Stop it!
[12:19] ---
    No!
[12:20] ---
    Don't look!
[12:22] ---
    Behave!
[12:26] ---
    Stop!
[12:27] ---
    Hurry up and take it all off!
[12:34] ---
    No!
[12:34] ---
    Fight!
[12:37] ---
    I'll take it off myself at least...
[12:40] ---
    No... No!
[12:44] ---
    Come in now!
[12:45] ---
    She's like an evil magistrate.
[12:49] ---
    Well? This'll get us noticed for sure!
[12:52] ---
    If nothing else... Nagato was spared?
[12:56] ---
    I could only afford two.
    It was a full set, so it was pricey!
[13:00] ---
    Where'd you buy it?
[13:02] ---
    Online.
[13:04] ---
    I see.
[13:05] ---
    Well, we'll be going.
[13:07] ---
    Let's go, Mikuru.
[13:10] ---
    No... No!
[13:13] ---
    Let's go! Yeah!
[13:17] ---
    I'm sorry.
[13:19] ---
    Honestly, the outfit gets me all worked up...
[13:23] ---
    Too much passion.
[13:40] ---
    Oh, brother...
[13:42] ---
    Still some body heat left...
    such a vivid memory...
[13:50] ---
    Policy explanation of
    the SOS Brigade's founding.
[13:53] ---
    The SOS Brigade is seeking out
    this universe's mysteries.
[13:57] ---
    Those who've had strange experiences...
[14:01] ---
    Those who witness
    bizarre phenomena right now...
[14:05] ---
    Those who plan on
    going through strange things...
[14:07] ---
    Those people should come consult us.
[14:11] ---
    We'll lead you to a solution at once.
    But ordinary mysteries are no good.
[14:16] ---
    It must be so strange as to
    even surprise us. Please take heed.
[14:21] ---
    I think I'm getting the reason
    for this brigade's existence bit by bit.
[14:30] ---
    They piss me off!
    What's with those stupid teachers?!
[14:34] ---
    They're in the way!
[14:35] ---
    Did you run into a problem?
[14:37] ---
    Denied!
[14:38] ---
    I only gave out half the flyers,
    and they told me to stop!
[14:42] ---
    Who are they?
[14:44] ---
    If two bunny girls were
    passing out flyers at the main gate...
[14:48] ---
    ...all sorts would come by.
[14:50] ---
    Mikuru starts to wail,
    I get pulled into the detention room...
[14:54] ---
    ...and handball-freak Okabe comes by...
[14:57] ---
    People didn't know where to keep their eyes.
[15:00] ---
    I'm going to call it a day.
[15:03] ---
    Dismissed!
[15:07] ---
    How long are you going to cry?
    Hurry up and change!
[15:19] ---
    Kyon...
[15:21] ---
    If I'm no longer able to be a bride,
    will you marry me?
[15:31] ---
    What should I say...
[15:32] ---
    You're walking away like one
    who didn't get into college...
[15:37] ---
    ...or a salaryman who got laid off
    after overdoing it to buy a house.
[15:42] ---
    Before that, you're going to
    call me by that nickname too?
[15:48] ---
    The next day,
    "Haruhi Suzumiya" was beyond famous...
[15:51] ---
    ...and became common knowledge
    to the entire campus.
[15:55] ---
    You know, Kyon...
[15:57] ---
    You finally became one of
    Suzumiya's fun, little friends.
[16:01] ---
    Shut up.
[16:03] ---
    As accessories...
[16:05] ---
    ...my and Miss Asahina's
    name started to go around.
[16:08] ---
    The bunny girls outside the gate
    really surprised me yesterday.
[16:14] ---
    One was the junior Miss Asahina, right?
[16:17] ---
    You're the center of attention on campus now.
[16:20] ---
    What is this SOS Brigade?
[16:25] ---
    Ask Suzumiya.
[16:27] ---
    I don't know, and don't want to.
[16:29] ---
    It looks like you're having fun.
[16:32] ---
    But I think that was going a bit too far.
[16:36] ---
    This day, Miss Asahina
    didn't show up to school.
[16:40] ---
    Why isn't there any e-mail?
    I advertised so much...
[16:44] ---
    No one's curious enough
    to associate with us after that.
[16:48] ---
    I won't disagree that it did get attention.
[16:51] ---
    Oh, Mikuru isn't here today?
[16:55] ---
    Maybe she'll never come again.
    I hope she wasn't traumatized.
[16:59] ---
    I got a new outfit for her today too.
[17:03] ---
    You wear it.
[17:04] ---
    Of course I'll wear it too.
    But it's boring if Mikuru isn't here.
[17:09] ---
    Why not have Nagato wear it?
    I'm sure she wouldn't complain.
[17:13] ---
    Besides, it's something
    I think I'd like to see...
[17:17] ---
    Oh, I set up the SOS Brigade
    but ran ashore with it so soon.
[17:22] ---
    Is everyone holding out?
    Selfishly keeping mysteries?
[17:27] ---
    Haruhi, there isn't enough
    mystery in this public high school...
[17:32] ---
    ...that you'd get a reply right away
    when you ask if there is one.
[17:38] ---
    You get that?
    You recognize that reality, don't you?
[17:42] ---
    It's the doubt and irritation of youth...
[17:45] ---
    ...with no outlet that
    leads to such rash behavior.
[17:48] ---
    Why don't you wake up,
    grab some handsome guy...
[17:52] ---
    ...and go home together
    or watch movies on Sundays?
[17:56] ---
    Or join a sports team and cause havoc there?
[18:00] ---
    Someone like you can go varsity right away.
[18:03] ---
    I'm going home!
[18:14] ---
    Then I'll go home too.
[18:17] ---
    Did you read it?
[18:18] ---
    Read what?
[18:21] ---
    The book.
[18:22] ---
    Oh, no, not yet...
[18:25] ---
    Should I return it?
[18:26] ---
    You don't have to.
[18:28] ---
    Her lines are never more than
    one line of manuscript paper...
[18:33] ---
    Read it today.
[18:35] ---
    As soon as you go home.
[18:39] ---
    All right.
[18:57] ---
    I'll wait at the park across
    Kouyouen Station at 7.
[19:01] ---
    Kyon, where are you going?
[19:03] ---
    The station.
    Don't talk with your mouth full!
[19:19] ---
    Was today the day?
[19:22] ---
    Or did you wait yesterday too?
[19:26] ---
    Why here of all places?
[19:29] ---
    This way.
[19:49] ---
    Oh, what about your folks?
[19:53] ---
    Not here.
[19:55] ---
    No, I can tell they're not here
    right now... They just stepped out?
[20:00] ---
    I'm the only one here to begin with.
[20:04] ---
    You live alone?
[20:05] ---
    Right.
[20:08] ---
    So what do you want?
[20:15] ---
    Drink.
[20:20] ---
    Tasty?
[20:24] ---
    Yeah.
[20:51] ---
    I'm gonna give birth...
[20:53] ---
    Why don't you get to telling me
    why you brought me here?
[21:01] ---
    What can't you tell me at school?
[21:11] ---
    About Haruhi Suzumiya.
[21:14] ---
    And about me.
[21:19] ---
    I'll tell you.
[21:23] ---
    What about you and Suzumiya?
[21:30] ---
    I can't properly put it into words.
[21:33] ---
    There may be errors in relaying information.
[21:37] ---
    But please listen.
[21:41] ---
    Haruhi Suzumiya and I are not ordinary humans.
[21:45] ---
    I kind of get that you two aren't normal.
[21:49] ---
    That's not what I mean.
[21:53] ---
    Not that we have strange
    archetypes of personalities.
[21:57] ---
    Literally, she and I...
[22:01] ---
    ...are not the same as the majority
    of ordinary humans like you.
[22:05] ---
    I am a humanoid interface
    for contact with organic life forms...
[22:11] ---
    ...created by the Information
    Integration Thought Entity...
[22:17] ---
    ...that governs this galaxy.
[22:20] ---
    Yes?
[22:22] ---
    A being that, using common terms...
[22:25] ---
    ...is classified as an alien.
[22:31] ---
    Alien?
[22:49] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...

[22:55] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[22:58] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:01] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:05] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.

[23:11] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...

[23:16] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[23:22] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.

[23:28] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[23:33] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[23:38] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?