E25 - The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    SOS Brigade
[00:24] ---
    Mi-Mi-Miracle Mikurun-run.
[00:26] ---
    The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina Episode 00
[00:34] ---
    Even you who can't honestly
    say that you're in love...
[00:40] ---
    ...gather your courage.
[00:45] ---
    A magical spell of love, the Mikuru Beam.
[00:51] ---
    I'll cast it on you.
[00:56] ---
    A precocious cupid
    arriving from the future...
[01:02] ---
    ...always carrying everyone their dreams.
[01:07] ---
    Alone at night, making a wish to the stars.
[01:13] ---
    "I hope that I can see
    you-know-who tomorrow."
[01:20] ---
    Come on, let's dance.
    Come on, let's dance, baby.
[01:25] ---
    When you wipe the tears
    away and start to run...
[01:31] ---
    Come on, let's dance.
    Come on, let's dance, baby.
[01:36] ---
    To the ends of the sky,
    a special generation.
[01:48] ---
    Romantic, magical Mikuru-run.
[01:59] ---
    Iwaigawa Shopping Strip
[02:03] ---
    Morimura Produce
[02:04] ---
    Her name is Mikuru Asahina.
[02:06] ---
    One Head of Napa Cabbage HALF PRICE!!
[02:07] ---
    A normal, admirable yet cute girl...
[02:10] ---
    ...she's actually a battling
    waitress from the future.
[02:14] ---
    Why one from the future
    is a waitress is a trivial question.
[02:18] ---
    Stories, as soon as they're told...
[02:21] ---
    ...always force
    strange settings down your throat.
[02:25] ---
    Sorry to bother you when you're in a rush.
[02:29] ---
    We have lots of good,
    fresh napa cabbage in stock today!
[02:34] ---
    Starting now, for one hour only...
[02:36] ---
    ...we're holding a half-price special!
[02:40] ---
    By the way, I mentioned a battling waitress...
[02:43] ---
    ...so why's she suddenly
    wearing a bunny-girl outfit?
[02:47] ---
    She survives day-to-day
    with her part-time promotion job...
[02:51] ---
    ...in the local shopping strip.
[02:53] ---
    Oh, the napa cabbage is cheap today.
[03:00] ---
    Let's hurry and buy them.
[03:04] ---
    Mikuru, you're giving your all again today!
[03:07] ---
    Y-Y-Yeah! I'm doing my best!
[03:10] ---
    She answers brightly in her
    "trying too hard" costume.
[03:13] ---
    Her innocent charm
    sold the napa out in no time.
[03:17] ---
    Mr. Kiyozumi Morimura
[03:18] ---
    Sorry for the trouble.
[03:20] ---
    This isn't much, but take it.
[03:23] ---
    No, not at all.
[03:26] ---
    I'm the one that should apologize.
[03:30] ---
    After all, this is about all I can do.
[03:38] ---
    See you later. I need to
    head over to the butcher's now.
[03:43] ---
    Excused me.
[03:45] ---
    Excuse me!
[03:49] ---
    For this shopping strip,
    this girl was an indispensable mascot...
[03:53] ---
    ...loved by all in the neighborhood.
    You can do it, Mikuru.
[03:57] ---
    Bring back patrons who flocked
    to the megamart that opened last year.
[04:02] ---
    The area's livelihood and the cozy
    shops' fate are on your shoulders.
[04:08] ---
    However, it has nothing to do with her real job.
[04:16] ---
    About her real job...
    She's a battling waitress, of course.
[04:20] ---
    Further, her objective is to watch
    over one boy from the shadows.
[04:26] ---
    The boy's name is Itsuki Koizumi.
[04:29] ---
    He looks like a plain, upbeat
    high schooler, but he's really an esper.
[04:34] ---
    But he doesn't realize that at all.
[04:37] ---
    It seems his super-incredible powers
[04:40] ---
    are awakened due to
    something happening as a catalyst.
[04:48] ---
    It's like a junior whose senior
    didn't acknowledge his secret admirer.
[04:53] ---
    Let's say she's
    sighing in relief that Itsuki is safe.
[04:57] ---
    Kumai Meat Shop
[04:58] ---
    And so, Mikuru finishes her scantily clad work...
[05:02] ---
    Suzuki Stationery
[05:03] ---
    ...and returns to the stationery store
[05:06] ---
    that's giving her living space.
[05:08] ---
    Mr. Yusuke Suzuki (65)
[05:11] ---
    Oh, welcome back.
[05:13] ---
    Mikuru, are you tired?
[05:15] ---
    Well, I'm fine.
[05:18] ---
    There were a lot of
    customers today. Big business!
[05:23] ---
    Oh, that's a good thing.
[05:37] ---
    Today's work is done.
[05:39] ---
    She finally takes off
    that almost nonexistent outfit...
[05:43] ---
    ...and headed to bed in casual attire.
[05:46] ---
    There are absolutely no more changing scenes...
[05:50] ---
    ...so it's useless to
    ask for the footage. I'm not kidding.
[06:00] ---
    Yuki Nagato stands with
    no warning or introduction.
[06:04] ---
    She isn't normal and
    doesn't look like an ordinary girl.
[06:08] ---
    It's expected, as she's really an evil witch.
[06:11] ---
    And an alien.
[06:14] ---
    However, to my mind, this cut...
[06:16] ---
    ...wants to show she's
    thinking something about Itsuki.
[06:20] ---
    But first, it's useless to
    stay on campus after he leaves...
[06:24] ---
    ...and it was sunset before,
    yet now it looks like daytime.
[06:28] ---
    Do what you want, but think of
    the editors when using iffy insert cuts.
[06:34] ---
    It's already Mikuru and Yuki's first battle.
[06:38] ---
    What happened between their
    first meeting and this destined duel...
[06:41] ---
    ...will be left up to
    the viewer due to various reasons.
[06:45] ---
    It's lucky if you get the gist of
    the show from what you've seen.
[06:55] ---
    Koizumi...
[06:57] ---
    Itsuki won't be someone
    you can control as you like!
[07:01] ---
    I'll protect him!
[07:11] ---
    I'll explain.
[07:13] ---
    This staff with the common
    design is Starring Inferno...
[07:16] ---
    ...a magic wand.
[07:20] ---
    T-Then I'll use my ultimate method...
[07:26] ---
    M-M-Mikuru Beam!
[07:29] ---
    I'll explain.
[07:31] ---
    Mikuru Beam is a really deadly,
    sure-win beam from her left eye.
[07:36] ---
    Cut! Cut!
[07:36] ---
    What lies at the next steep turn in the future?
[07:38] ---
    Hey, Yuki, what are you doing?
[07:41] ---
    What's Mikuru's fate? Why did Itsuki show up?
[07:41] ---
    That's not part of the script!
[07:45] ---
    Ohmori Electronics
[07:47] ---
    T-T-This shop is...
[07:49] ---
    Well...
[07:51] ---
    The manager is a really
    good person. And he's a nice guy.
[07:56] ---
    They've been around since
    current owner Eijirou's grandfather.
[08:01] ---
    Y-You can find anything from
    batteries to refrigerators here.
[08:06] ---
    U-Um, and...
[08:10] ---
    I-In any case,
    please come by Ohmori Electronics!
[08:17] ---
    Defeated in her first battle with Yuki,
    Mikuru was deep in thought.
[08:22] ---
    To think the Mikuru Beam was useless...
[08:26] ---
    I have to do something about this.
[08:33] ---
    It seems she isn't a transforming
    hero and needs to change.
[08:38] ---
    And today, she has to be diligent
    and head out to work again.
[08:44] ---
    Meanwhile...
[08:45] ---
    ...Itsuki was walking down the road
    with a blank stare as always.
[08:54] ---
    Who are you?
[08:56] ---
    I am an alien that uses magic.
[09:01] ---
    Is that so?
[09:04] ---
    Yes.
[09:05] ---
    What do you want with me?
[09:08] ---
    You have hidden powers,
    which is what I am after.
[09:14] ---
    And if I said you were a nuisance?
[09:17] ---
    Even if I had to use force,
    I would have you in my hands.
[09:23] ---
    How would you use force?
[09:25] ---
    Like this.
[09:28] ---
    Look out!
[09:31] ---
    Ouch!
[09:35] ---
    Ow...
[09:36] ---
    I-I won't let you have your way!
[09:40] ---
    For now, I will retreat.
[09:43] ---
    However, it won't be so next time.
[09:46] ---
    By then, find yourself a name for the afterlife.
[09:51] ---
    Next time, I will make sure
    to take you down with no mercy.
[10:03] ---
    And who are you?
[10:05] ---
    Um, well...
[10:06] ---
    I'm just a bunny girl
    passing through. That's all.
[10:11] ---
    Well, goodbye.
[10:19] ---
    What in the world was she?
[10:22] ---
    With an overly strange gaze,
    Itsuki watched Mikuru leave...
[10:26] ---
    What's with this pan up?
[10:29] ---
    And some plot is being omitted here.
[10:31] ---
    The flames of battle have flared again
    after this and that, probably.
[10:37] ---
    S-Something like this
    won't make me give up!
[10:40] ---
    Y-Yuki, the bad alien...
[10:44] ---
    ...leave the earth now in a mysterious manner!
[10:51] ---
    You should rid yourself from this era.
[10:54] ---
    We will claim him.
[10:58] ---
    He is of much precious value.
[11:00] ---
    As part of that,
    we will first take over the earth.
[11:04] ---
    I-I won't let you do so!
    I'm willing to risk my life for this!
[11:10] ---
    Then I shall take that life of yours.
[11:24] ---
    Miss Tsuruya, it can't be even you...
[11:27] ---
    Please get yourself back together!
[11:32] ---
    It's not convincing
    when you're dressed like that!
[11:36] ---
    Mikuru, I'm sorry.
    I'm being controlled right now.
[11:41] ---
    Here goes... Sorry.
[11:44] ---
    Some magical power or
    EM wave from Starring Inferno...
[11:49] ---
    ...turned Miss Tsuruya (and two more)
    into puppets with no will.
[11:54] ---
    She can't fight back this way.
    What will you do, Mikuru?
[12:00] ---
    She couldn't do anything.
[12:03] ---
    What's wrong?
[12:05] ---
    Please hold on to me.
[12:08] ---
    Itsuki appeared so suddenly...
    Where was he till now?
[12:13] ---
    I think he was mistakenly
    caught on tape before.
[12:16] ---
    That was cold...
[12:19] ---
    What in the world were you doing here?
[12:23] ---
    Well, um, evil people and that lake, and um...
[12:29] ---
    That's where you pass out.
[12:33] ---
    Please hold on.
[12:35] ---
    Usually, you'd call an ambulance
    or ask a passerby for help.
[12:40] ---
    But this boy hoists up the out-cold,
    pure beauty like a princess...
[12:44] ---
    ...and takes her somewhere. Damn you.
[12:47] ---
    First off, where did Yuki's gang go
    without giving the final blow?
[12:52] ---
    With mysteries and
    contradictions left untouched...
[12:56] ---
    ...this story reaches the midpoint finally.
    Wait, there's still half left?
[13:01] ---
    The Adventures of Mikuru Asahina
[13:07] ---
    This seems to be Itsuki's home.
[13:10] ---
    More troubling is how Mikuru...
[13:12] ---
    ...who's been hoisted,
    seems to have been bathed.
[13:15] ---
    Perhaps this implies
    Itsuki bathed the unconscious Mikuru...
[13:20] ---
    No, it must be.
[13:22] ---
    Then anyone's doubt would turn
    to outrage, reaching an intent to kill...
[13:28] ---
    ...but for now, I won't dwell,
    doing away with any pent-up feelings.
[13:32] ---
    Since human reality doesn't exist
[13:35] ---
    for characters that move
    in the realm of our assumptions.
[13:46] ---
    What's this out of the blue?
[13:49] ---
    Any closer, and an unexpected person
    will enter frame and kick.
[13:54] ---
    Wait there.
[13:58] ---
    Itsuki Koizumi,
    you should not be choosing her.
[14:03] ---
    When you are with me...
[14:06] ---
    ...your powers will become
    effective for the first time.
[14:11] ---
    What's that mean?
[14:12] ---
    It's no surprise that Yuki
    appeared from the window?
[14:16] ---
    What I can say now
    is that you have two choices.
[14:21] ---
    To evolve this universe
    into what it should be with me...
[14:25] ---
    ...or to pluck away all possibility
    of the future with her.
[14:30] ---
    Itsuki was seriously worried.
[14:33] ---
    But that line earlier by Nagato...
    by Yuki... was to Itsuki, right?
[14:38] ---
    I see. In any case, he...
[14:41] ---
    No, in this scene, it's me...
[14:44] ---
    ...so I am the key.
[14:46] ---
    And the key has no distinct powers.
[14:49] ---
    It's nothing but the means to open the door.
[14:52] ---
    When that door is opened,
    something will change.
[14:55] ---
    And I believe what will change is...
[15:01] ---
    I understand that, Yuki.
[15:03] ---
    But I have no right to decide now.
[15:06] ---
    I believe it's too early for me to decide.
[15:09] ---
    How about we compromise and delay it?
[15:12] ---
    We definitely need
    more time to think things out.
[15:16] ---
    Things might be different
    if you all decide to tell the whole truth.
[15:21] ---
    Such a time is not so distant.
[15:24] ---
    But now is surely not the time either.
[15:27] ---
    Our habits regard a lack of
    information as more an obstacle.
[15:33] ---
    At the stage of "possibilities,"
    we cannot take definite decisions.
[15:38] ---
    You could call this
    cryptic chat "setting the plot"...
[15:42] ---
    ...but a strange common ground
    seems to have been formed.
[15:47] ---
    Yamatsuchi Model Shop
[15:49] ---
    T-This model store opened for business last year...
[15:54] ---
    ...after Mr. Keiji Yamatsuchi,
    age 28, left his corporate job.
[15:58] ---
    It's like his hobbies took over
    his actions, and he just did it.
[16:03] ---
    And as many thought,
    sales haven't met expectations...
[16:07] ---
    The first-half earnings this year
    are down 80% from last year...
[16:16] ---
    So shop as much as you can, everyone!
[16:23] ---
    You want me to hold it?
[16:31] ---
    D-Don't shoot while pointing at people!
[16:34] ---
    Hold off by shooting things like empty cans!
[16:37] ---
    You want me to shoot?
[16:44] ---
    You've probably lost interest
    in following the story...
[16:48] ---
    ...but there's a sudden twist.
[16:50] ---
    Mikuru and Itsuki start living together.
[16:53] ---
    It's like a bride drama series...
[16:56] ---
    ...which makes you wonder
    about the sci-fi battle scenes.
[17:00] ---
    Are they quickening the pace of
    the mid-story with moe [turn-on] aspects?
[17:07] ---
    Anyway, who's this?
[17:07] ---
    Now, Shamy, introduce yourself!
[17:10] ---
    Itsuki's sister?
[17:10] ---
    Hi! Ta-dah...
[17:11] ---
    Wasn't this cat on Yuki's shoulder before?
[17:12] ---
    I'm Shamy! Nice to meet you!
[17:15] ---
    Meanwhile, not wanting to lose...
[17:17] ---
    ...Yuki unbelievably transfers
    into Itsuki's high school.
[17:22] ---
    Yuki attempts to use
    sex appeal to ensnare Itsuki.
[17:27] ---
    But it seems she's
    going after him fair and square...
[17:31] ---
    Is it just me?
[17:39] ---
    Eventually, Mikuru also
    transfers into the same high school.
[17:45] ---
    The quip that she should've infiltrated
[17:47] ---
    his school long ago
    to look over him is to no avail.
[17:51] ---
    Yuki and Mikuru's battles
    heat up into love-comedy ones.
[17:55] ---
    Now it's nothing more than a love triangle.
[18:00] ---
    On the other hand,
    they seem to have a cease-fire at school...
[18:05] ---
    ...or they're reminded of their true natures.
[18:08] ---
    They pretend to be
    battling waitress and alien magician...
[18:11] ---
    ...and engage in cheap-ass battles.
[18:14] ---
    What will happen now?
    Even I, the cameraman, don't know.
[18:18] ---
    It's a mudslinging battle that has
    no way at all to be breathtaking.
[18:31] ---
    And this childlike, schizophrenic
    story reaches its final stage.
[18:36] ---
    Let's settle the score.
[18:37] ---
    I assume the director...
[18:39] ---
    ...felt an end had to be
    reached one way or another.
[18:43] ---
    It feels too late, but in any case,
    Yuki called for a final showdown.
[18:48] ---
    I see.
[18:49] ---
    What did she just get?
[18:52] ---
    What's wrong? It's like
    you have a middle-aged stalker.
[18:56] ---
    Did the doctor diagnose you
    with athlete's foot?
[19:01] ---
    The time has finally come.
[19:03] ---
    I must head out to the final battle now.
[19:08] ---
    That's amazing.
[19:09] ---
    It's up to you, Mikuru.
    I entrust the earth...
[19:13] ---
    I hate nitpicking so repeatedly,
[19:15] ---
    I'll do my best...
[19:15] ---
    but it's normal to think...
[19:18] ---
    ...that they met when Mikuru
    transferred into the high school.
[19:22] ---
    So having Tsuruya in
    the lake battle scene before...
[19:25] ---
    ...was a storyboard error, right?
[19:28] ---
    And when you're at a loss for filler,
    you take shots of the sky, right?
[19:33] ---
    Anyway, it's finally the climax scene.
[19:36] ---
    Let us settle the final score once and for all.
[19:40] ---
    We don't have much time left anymore.
[19:44] ---
    We must end all this during lunch break.
[19:47] ---
    That last part alone, I must agree with, but...
[19:51] ---
    ...I'm sure that Itsuki will say
    that he's going to choose me!
[19:55] ---
    That's what I believe!
[19:57] ---
    Unfortunately for you, I do not
    intend to recognize his free will.
[20:02] ---
    I will have his powers.
[20:05] ---
    Am I the only one who thinks,
    "Then go and grab him"?
[20:09] ---
    I won't let you do that!
[20:12] ---
    That's why I came all the way from the future!
[20:40] ---
    Mikuru, you have to fight back!
[20:42] ---
    Hey, what...
[20:43] ---
    The conflict with the teacher over
    fireworks and firecrackers aside...
[20:48] ---
    ...Mikuru has finally been cornered.
[20:51] ---
    It's so high...
[20:54] ---
    It is time for you to give in now.
    Prepare yourself for doom.
[21:00] ---
    Yuki's final blow assaults Mikuru.
[21:03] ---
    There are visual problems...
[21:05] ---
    ...but it can't be more thrilling,
    so I'd like you to use your imagination.
[21:10] ---
    It's a life-or-death crisis.
    What will you do, Mikuru?
[21:17] ---
    Are you all right?
[21:19] ---
    Yuki, enough. Stop it.
[21:23] ---
    You needn't think.
[21:25] ---
    Just do away with that boy's thoughts.
[21:25] ---
    Hey, Shamisen, don't speak! Don't speak!
[21:28] ---
    From the look of it,
    you have such powers, don't you?
[21:33] ---
    Ow.
[21:34] ---
    That was ventriloquism.
[21:38] ---
    Take this, Itsuki Koizumi.
[21:41] ---
    Your thoughts will be under my command.
[21:51] ---
    How regretful.
[21:58] ---
    It's all over, Miss Asahina.
[22:05] ---
    Itsuki's unexplainable
    potential powers awakened...
[22:08] ---
    ...and Yuki was hurled to universe's end.
[22:12] ---
    The world's regained peace.
[22:14] ---
    Thank you, Mikuru Asahina.
    Thank you, Itsuki Koizumi.
[22:17] ---
    All's well that ends well.
[22:21] ---
    A pan up at the end too?
[22:30] ---
    This story is fictional.
[22:32] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:35] ---
    ...other proper names, and events are not real.
[22:39] ---
    It's all a lie.
[22:40] ---
    Even if there's a resemblance, it's coincidence.
[22:44] ---
    Oh, not the ads.
[22:45] ---
    Support Ohmori Electronics
[22:46] ---
    Audio/Visual Room
[22:46] ---
    and Yamatsuchi Model Shop. Buy lots.
[22:50] ---
    Screening! Do not enter!
[22:50] ---
    SOS Brigade
[22:52] ---
    Say it again?
[22:54] ---
    This story is fictional.
[22:56] ---
    Characters, organizations, incidents...
[22:59] ---
    Hey, Kyon, why do I have to say that?
[23:03] ---
    It's done!
[23:03] ---
    It's obvious.
[23:05] ---
    Ultra Director
[23:09] ---
    It's great work!
[23:10] ---
    "Impossible" isn't in the SOS
    Brigade's dictionary! Right, Kyon?
[23:15] ---
    This will be shown to the masses?
[23:19] ---
    This'll get a full house
    from the arts festival's first day!
[23:23] ---
    I wish we charged admission.
    Maybe I'll ask the film club.
[23:27] ---
    I'll forget the arts festival today
[23:27] ---
    We'll recoup production costs
[23:29] ---
    and take a nap somewhere.
[23:29] ---
    and have funding for the next film!
[23:31] ---
    Right, Kyon?
[23:32] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[23:40] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:46] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:49] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:52] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:56] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:02] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:07] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:13] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:18] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:24] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:29] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?