E9 - Bamboo Leaf Rhapsody

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:22] ---
    Haruhi, melancholy during the Star Festival...
[00:25] ---
    ...had recovered from her
    melancholy state during finals...
[00:30] ---
    ...and is acting on her own whim again.
[00:32] ---
    As for me, it's like the blue baton
    was handed to me in response...
[00:37] ---
    ...and I'm in a heavy depression.
[00:40] ---
    Haruhi, who was taking the test behind me...
[00:43] ---
    ...always seems to have time left over...
[00:45] ---
    ...and was sound asleep
    30 minutes before the test ended.
[00:49] ---
    Annoying. Oh, it's annoying, annoying.
[00:57] ---
    The answer is always in my heart.
[01:04] ---
    The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
[01:12] ---
    I don't know why, but I chose you.
[01:18] ---
    It won't stop now. Mr. Destiny deemed it so.
[01:24] ---
    I believe it's boring to just mimic.
[01:30] ---
    You'll be right, so I'll do what I feel as I feel it.
[01:39] ---
    It's an adventure, right, right?
[01:41] ---
    In this world where truth becomes fiction.
[01:46] ---
    We become stronger
    because we have dreams...
[01:50] ---
    ...not for the sake of someone.
[01:53] ---
    Please come with me.
[01:56] ---
    See me and my endlessly free self.
[02:02] ---
    Today's present that becomes
    tomorrow's past is the miracle.
[02:08] ---
    Let's grab the future.
[02:14] ---
    I believe you...
[02:23] ---
    Haruhi says there's
[02:25] ---
    no such thing as a break for the SOS Brigade.
[02:25] ---
    Mysterique Sign
[02:28] ---
    Even when club activities stop during exams...
[02:31] ---
    ...this strange, non-activity brigade,
    like a convenience store...
[02:35] ---
    ...was open daily without a holiday.
[02:38] ---
    Hey, look at this.
[02:45] ---
    What is it?
[02:46] ---
    Isn't it obvious?
[02:48] ---
    I don't know. At all.
[02:50] ---
    An emblem for my SOS Brigade!
[02:53] ---
    An emblem? It's just a drunken
    tapeworm wrapped around a tube.
[02:58] ---
    Look closer!
[03:00] ---
    See? It says "SOS Brigade"
    in the middle, right?
[03:05] ---
    Now that she said it,
    I could kind of see it and kind of not...
[03:08] ---
    ...but it's not like I'd loudly disagree.
[03:12] ---
    How many double negatives did I use?
[03:15] ---
    Bored people can count.
[03:17] ---
    You have the most time!
[03:19] ---
    Anyway, I'm thinking of putting it
    as the SOS Brigade's top page.
[03:24] ---
    The site only has a top page.
[03:26] ---
    This site you made isn't getting any visitors.
[03:30] ---
    It makes me mad.
[03:31] ---
    There's nothing that livens it up.
    It's because you got in the way.
[03:35] ---
    I was drawing a crowd
    with erotic pictures of Mikuru too.
[03:39] ---
    So I thought about posting
    a symbol for the SOS Brigade.
[03:44] ---
    Get this stupid homepage off the Net already.
[03:48] ---
    The counter hasn't gotten three digits...
[03:51] ---
    ...and 90% of the hits
    were you checking up on things.
[03:54] ---
    How about writing a diary?
    An activity log is the leader's duty.
[03:59] ---
    It's a hassle.
[04:01] ---
    It's a hassle for me too...
[04:04] ---
    Now, Kyon, make this symbol
    show up at the top of the site.
[04:09] ---
    Do it yourself.
[04:10] ---
    I'm brigade leader. It's my job to give orders.
[04:14] ---
    Besides, if I did everything,
    there'd be nothing for you, right?
[04:19] ---
    Use your head a little.
[04:21] ---
    Humans won't improve
    just doing what they're told.
[04:25] ---
    Are you saying to do it
    or not to do it? Which is it?
[04:29] ---
    Enough, get to it!
[04:33] ---
    I reluctantly shrunk artisan
    Haruhi's tapeworm illustration...
[04:37] ---
    ...into an appropriate size,
    pasted it into the file, and uploaded it.
[04:43] ---
    From tomorrow till summer break,
    exams are off: a short respite.
[04:48] ---
    The teachers mark the wrong
    answers with red ink now.
[04:51] ---
    Damned annoying.
[04:53] ---
    I'll seek some small solace
    with a good look at Miss Asahina.
[04:57] ---
    I knocked on the door, expecting a "yes?"
    in Miss Asahina's slight lisp.
[05:02] ---
    Come in.
[05:05] ---
    What, it's just you?
[05:07] ---
    Yuki's here too.
[05:10] ---
    She's more of a room fixture,
    so don't count her as a member.
[05:14] ---
    Officially, she's in the lit club.
    But I should rephrase myself now.
[05:18] ---
    What, it's just you and Nagato?
[05:20] ---
    Are you filing a claim against that?
[05:23] ---
    If I wrote out every claim against you...
[05:26] ---
    ...I'd fill both sides of
    an A4-sized page with words.
[05:29] ---
    Since you knocked,
    I thought we had a visitor here.
[05:34] ---
    I'm being careful not to see
    Miss Asahina change accidentally.
[05:39] ---
    That lovely, innocent being
    doesn't quite get locking doors...
[05:43] ---
    What's this about a visitor?
[05:45] ---
    You don't remember?
[05:47] ---
    Don't say something about
    a Star Festival three years ago.
[05:51] ---
    It's something you did...
    without getting my permission.
[05:55] ---
    What's that...?
[05:57] ---
    Those posters you put up.
[05:59] ---
    Oh, those...
[06:01] ---
    Actually, I used to
    work on the student council...
[06:05] ---
    ...to keep the SOS Brigade as
    a jack-of-all-trades advice center.
[06:08] ---
    'Accepting people seeking advice
    for sensitive issues.' - SOS Brigade
[06:09] ---
    I drew a poster
    and put it on every bulletin board I saw.
[06:13] ---
    Anyway, take a look at this.
    Something's strange here.
[06:17] ---
    I wonder if the PC's acting up or something?
[06:20] ---
    The SOS Brigade emblem was
    warped like it was gather filtered.
[06:25] ---
    The counter and title logo had flown off...
[06:27] ---
    ...becoming subtly different
    than the page I made.
[06:33] ---
    Looks like the server's file is corrupt.
    How long was it like this?
[06:37] ---
    Dunno, it was when I looked today.
    Where can I file the claim?
[06:42] ---
    It's not even worth filing a claim.
[06:42] ---
    Confirm Folder Replace
[06:43] ---
    Uploading
[06:51] ---
    It's strange. It could be those
    hackers or crackers I've heard of.
[06:55] ---
    No way. It's just an error.
[06:58] ---
    It's irritating.
[06:59] ---
    Is someone doing
    a cyberterrorist attack on us?
[07:03] ---
    Who is it? When I find out...
[07:05] ---
    ...I'll force 30 days of
    community service without a trial.
[07:10] ---
    Come in.
[07:11] ---
    Oh, how unusual. Miss Asahina isn't here yet?
[07:15] ---
    Don't the juniors have more exams?
[07:18] ---
    You can just go home...
[07:20] ---
    Why do you all gather to a place like this?
[07:23] ---
    And Haruhi, why don't you
    question Koizumi knocking?
[07:33] ---
    I look forward to Miss Asahina's tea.
[07:38] ---
    That's not it!
[07:39] ---
    No, no! Right!
[07:39] ---
    And for a while afterwards...
[07:41] ---
    No, left! I'm telling you!
[07:41] ---
    ...I was forced to cater to Haruhi's impossible orders.
[07:44] ---
    That's not it!
[07:46] ---
    It was the sound of the bell that saved me.
[07:47] ---
    Come in!
[07:51] ---
    I'm sorry I'm late.
[07:53] ---
    I had exams till fourth period.
[07:55] ---
    With a humble apology, the arrival...
[07:57] ---
    ...no, descent of the
    clubroom angel, Miss Asahina.
[08:01] ---
    Well, um, let's see...
[08:06] ---
    U-Um, I brought a visitor with me.
[08:15] ---
    Believe it or not...
[08:17] ---
    ...the first person seeking advice has arrived.
[08:21] ---
    She was Emiri Kimidori,
    a junior who seemed very quiet and pure.
[08:25] ---
    So you want the SOS Brigade
    to find your missing boyfriend?
[08:31] ---
    Yes...
[08:36] ---
    It seems that she really
    misunderstood our objective...
[08:40] ---
    ...as either a jack-of-all-trades
    advice center or mobile task force.
[08:44] ---
    So what was on your mind...?
[08:47] ---
    He hasn't come to school for days on end now.
[08:51] ---
    Have you called?
[08:52] ---
    He doesn't answer his cell or home phone.
[08:55] ---
    I even tried visiting his house,
    but nobody was home.
[08:59] ---
    And this boyfriend's family?
[09:01] ---
    He lives alone.
[09:03] ---
    I heard before that his parents lived overseas.
[09:07] ---
    But I don't have their contact address.
[09:10] ---
    Overseas? Canada?
[09:12] ---
    No, I believe in Honduras.
[09:15] ---
    Honduras, indeed!
[09:18] ---
    "Indeed" what?
[09:19] ---
    I doubt she knows where it is.
[09:22] ---
    Let's see... Somewhere below Mexico?
[09:25] ---
    The house was pitch black
    at night too. It worries me.
[09:30] ---
    I understand how you feel.
[09:33] ---
    Liar. There's no way you'd understand love.
[09:35] ---
    But I'm surprised you'd
    come to us. What's your reason?
[09:40] ---
    He used to talk about the SOS Brigade often.
[09:45] ---
    Who is this boyfriend?
[09:49] ---
    Well...
[09:49] ---
    ...is his name.
[09:51] ---
    Who was that?
[09:53] ---
    He sounded like he got along
    really well with the SOS Brigade.
[10:00] ---
    He's the chief of the computer club.
[10:06] ---
    Haruhi forcefully photographed him
    sexually harassing Miss Asahina.
[10:10] ---
    He was blackmailed into giving
    Haruhi a state-of-the-art PC.
[10:15] ---
    That poor chief who tearfully ran the cables.
[10:18] ---
    I totally forgot about him.
[10:21] ---
    All right, we'll do something about this.
[10:24] ---
    Miss Kimidori, you're in luck.
[10:26] ---
    As the very first client,
    I'll solve this case for free.
[10:31] ---
    You were planning on charging?
[10:40] ---
    Hey, you accepted so easily...
[10:43] ---
    ...but what'll you do if you can't solve this?
[10:46] ---
    We can.
[10:47] ---
    I'm sure he's suffering from
    the May blues two months late.
[10:52] ---
    We just walk into his room,
    give a few punches, and drag him out.
[10:56] ---
    She's really thinking that.
[10:58] ---
    But with a girlfriend like Miss Kimidori...
[11:01] ---
    ...why is he cooping himself up?
[11:04] ---
    Are you good friends with Miss Kimidori?
[11:07] ---
    I've never spoken to her before.
[11:10] ---
    She should consult a teacher or the police...
[11:13] ---
    No, she did and wasn't taken seriously...
[11:16] ---
    ...so she came to us for help.
[11:19] ---
    I think that's it.
[11:21] ---
    Looks like Haruhi's using this
    to get bigger cases...
[11:24] ---
    ...and solve every single one of them in turn.
[11:28] ---
    It might be a good idea to pass out
    fliers at the front gate again.
[11:33] ---
    The chief's place wasn't
    the best or worst, not new or old...
[11:37] ---
    ...a typical one-room condo with
    three and a half floors and basement.
[11:42] ---
    All right.
[11:45] ---
    It's here.
[11:48] ---
    I wonder if we can open this somehow...
[11:51] ---
    You usually do that in reverse.
[11:53] ---
    The veranda in the back?
[11:56] ---
    Can't we get in by breaking the glass?
[11:59] ---
    It's a third-floor room, and we're
    not a group of adolescent burglars.
[12:04] ---
    I don't want a record.
[12:06] ---
    True, let's go to
    the manager and borrow a key.
[12:10] ---
    He'll lend one to concerned friends.
[12:13] ---
    You use that excuse a lot.
[12:19] ---
    Eyes like liquid helium were staring at me.
[12:24] ---
    Oh, it was open? I didn't realize.
[12:27] ---
    Okay. Now, let's go in.
[12:29] ---
    I'm sure he's hiding under the bed...
[12:32] ---
    ...so let's drag him out and grab him.
[12:34] ---
    She doesn't feel an ounce of guilt
    for whisking a PC away from him.
[12:42] ---
    This is strange.
[12:43] ---
    I totally thought he'd be
    a ball in the corner cradling his knees.
[12:47] ---
    Kyon, where would someone
    with two-month-late May blues go?
[12:53] ---
    Traveling Central and South America,
    or seriously fooling society's eyes.
[12:57] ---
    It's best to leave.
[12:59] ---
    It's the first time I've heard her voice today.
[13:02] ---
    I concur.
[13:03] ---
    Lighten up. Don't breathe on me.
[13:05] ---
    Your face is too close. It's disgusting.
[13:07] ---
    I feel strangely uneasy.
[13:10] ---
    I know a similar feeling...
[13:11] ---
    I found warabi mochi!
[13:13] ---
    The "use by" date is three days ago.
    It's a waste to toss it, so let's eat it.
[13:19] ---
    Now, Mikuru, say "aah"...
[13:19] ---
    No, I don't...
[13:23] ---
    "Aah."
[13:23] ---
    Similar to what?
[13:25] ---
    An enclosed space.
    This room has a similar scent.
[13:29] ---
    Come to think of it, you're a real esper...
[13:32] ---
    A dimensional layer exists.
    A relativity shift is taking place.
[13:37] ---
    Looks like it'd be best
    to get the hell out of here.
[13:46] ---
    I'm starving. Let's call it a day. Dismissed.
[13:49] ---
    Hey, what about the case?
[13:51] ---
    It'll work out.
[13:53] ---
    See you!
[13:54] ---
    Looks like she's bored already.
[14:01] ---
    Um, what's the matter?
[14:03] ---
    Gathering back so she doesn't see us...
[14:07] ---
    That room seems to be
    on the minds of those two.
[14:10] ---
    Right?
[14:11] ---
    Yes.
[14:13] ---
    I'm sure we'll know why
    if we go again. Right, Miss Nagato?
[14:20] ---
    A localized, noncorrosive,
    fused alternate space in this room...
[14:24] ---
    ...is in discrete limited mode.
[14:27] ---
    It's like you skimmed a dictionary,
    reciting words that caught your eye.
[14:31] ---
    Sensibly, it's similar to those enclosed spaces.
[14:35] ---
    Miss Suzumiya made those,
    but this one has a different scent.
[14:39] ---
    Miss Nagato, is this abnormal space
    responsible for the missing chief?
[14:44] ---
    Yes.
[14:49] ---
    I should've told her to wait...
[14:55] ---
    Frantically trying to verify where I was,
    I couldn't enjoy the sensation.
[15:00] ---
    We were in a small one-room condo,
    not this eerie place.
[15:05] ---
    Analyzing entry code.
[15:07] ---
    It overlaps standard space.
    It's merely out of phase.
[15:10] ---
    It's not like enclosed spaces...
[15:12] ---
    Deceptively similar, but some spatial data...
[15:15] ---
    ...seems to have "junk" information
    emitted from Haruhi Suzumiya.
[15:20] ---
    How much?
[15:21] ---
    Trivial levels. She was only the trigger.
[15:24] ---
    I see. That's what happened...
[15:27] ---
    Miss Asahina and I are left in the dark?
[15:30] ---
    The computer club chief is here?
[15:33] ---
    It seems.
[15:34] ---
    This alternate space manifested...
[15:37] ---
    ...and for some reason, he became trapped.
[15:40] ---
    Where is he?
[15:43] ---
    Wait!
[15:44] ---
    Could you tell me what you'll do?
    I want time to mentally prepare.
[15:49] ---
    Nothing.
[15:51] ---
    It's here.
[15:53] ---
    What was that?
[15:55] ---
    I feel a definite sense of animosity.
[15:58] ---
    They have means of defending themselves...
[16:01] ---
    ...but Miss Asahina and I can't rest assured.
[16:04] ---
    You don't have laser guns or anything?
[16:07] ---
    Firearms are forbidden. They're dangerous.
[16:10] ---
    I can understand. She'd be useless with them.
[16:14] ---
    Moreover, she might forget it
    inside a train or something.
[16:22] ---
    Are you familiar with camel crickets?
[16:24] ---
    I really want to show the scene
    before me to those who aren't.
[16:28] ---
    What is this?
[16:29] ---
    A camel cricket.
[16:30] ---
    I know. Never mind.
[16:32] ---
    This dimension's creator.
[16:34] ---
    Haruhi's doing this?
[16:36] ---
    The cause is different, but the catalyst was her.
[16:40] ---
    You can move now.
[16:45] ---
    It seems my powers are
    enabled here, though partially.
[16:50] ---
    A tenth of an enclosed space's potency.
[16:53] ---
    Perhaps this was determined to be enough.
[16:56] ---
    Before that, Nagato, what is
    that insect, and where is the chief?
[17:01] ---
    An information entity subspecies.
[17:03] ---
    It's using the male student's brain
    to increase its chance of survival.
[17:08] ---
    By any chance, is the chief inside?
[17:10] ---
    Itself.
[17:11] ---
    I see. This camel cricket is
    an image of the chief's fears...
[17:16] ---
    ...and its defeat means this space's destruction.
[17:19] ---
    Am I mistaken?
[17:20] ---
    No mistakes.
[17:21] ---
    Then things are simple.
[17:24] ---
    I'm going insane thanks to
    Miss Asahina who's around my waist.
[17:29] ---
    It's restricting movement. I can't run.
[17:31] ---
    It'll be over soon.
[17:34] ---
    Do it quickly.
[17:36] ---
    Roger that.
[17:39] ---
    Fumoffu!
[17:52] ---
    Force field?
[17:58] ---
    A scarab has tended to its wounds!
[18:07] ---
    Second Raid!
[18:12] ---
    Did that do it?
[18:16] ---
    No good after all?
[18:28] ---
    Is it over?
[18:34] ---
    It seems he's still alive.
[18:36] ---
    The space was back to
    a small one-room condo.
[18:44] ---
    An incident from 280 million years ago.
[18:47] ---
    When it descended to Earth,
    there was no means for it to survive.
[18:52] ---
    It went into hibernation to preserve itself.
[18:55] ---
    When humans created
    computer networks, it partly aroused...
[19:00] ---
    ...and awoke with
    immeasurable data from another world.
[19:06] ---
    The data from another world...
[19:09] ---
    ...was the SOS Brigade emblem Haruhi drew.
[19:11] ---
    It was the cue.
[19:13] ---
    This emblem, in earthly measurement terms...
[19:16] ---
    ...has roughly 436 petabytes of information.
[19:19] ---
    That's impossible. It wasn't even 100k.
[19:22] ---
    The symbol she casually drew
    was of such caliber...
[19:25] ---
    That's Miss Suzumiya all right.
[19:28] ---
    I was seriously becoming afraid.
[19:32] ---
    It's too good a story.
    The creation of the SOS Brigade.
[19:35] ---
    Miss Asahina making the perfect mascot.
[19:38] ---
    Koizumi transferring.
    Nagato always being there.
[19:41] ---
    They became members. Furthermore...
[19:44] ---
    ...Miss Asahina's from the future,
    and Nagato's alienesque.
[19:47] ---
    If this was all Haruhi's conception,
    it's too good to be true...
[19:53] ---
    Koizumi says it's because
    Haruhi wished it, but I don't believe it.
[19:57] ---
    Since I'm just a normal guy.
[20:00] ---
    But if all of Haruhi's actions
    have something behind them...
[20:05] ---
    Did she choose me as a member
    because just like these three...
[20:10] ---
    ...I have some insane
    superpower or crazy identity?
[20:17] ---
    What the hell am I?
[20:20] ---
    To put it straight, I'm the
    SOS Brigade's only good conscience.
[20:24] ---
    I'm in the SOS Brigade to stop
    Haruhi's illegal "club activities"...
[20:28] ---
    ...and make her live a normal high school life.
[20:31] ---
    So what was that camel cricket?
[20:34] ---
    An information entity.
[20:35] ---
    Your patron's relative?
[20:37] ---
    The roots are the same,
    but its race diverged and perished.
[20:42] ---
    So you thought, till we found a survivor here.
[20:45] ---
    Why hibernate on Earth of all places?
[20:48] ---
    Neptune would've been fine.
[20:50] ---
    To think the Internet's rise would be
    a pseudo-evil overlord's nursery.
[20:55] ---
    Something's strange.
[20:57] ---
    Nothing happened
    when Haruhi showed it here...
[21:00] ---
    ...or back when she first finished drawing it.
[21:04] ---
    There's been an alternate space here awhile.
[21:07] ---
    All sorts of elements and fields cancel out...
[21:10] ---
    ...so the area is saturated,
    with no room for anything else.
[21:15] ---
    I didn't realize the clubroom
    was such an ominous den.
[21:19] ---
    I think it's harmless... probably.
[21:22] ---
    Oh, brother...
[21:23] ---
    I don't want to go insane or
    look for a noose without realizing it.
[21:28] ---
    I'm doing my best to prevent that.
[21:31] ---
    I hope things aren't like this
    because you're doing your best...
[21:37] ---
    The access counter has almost 30,000 hits.
[21:40] ---
    This information entity multiplies
    by spreading hyperlinks.
[21:45] ---
    An algorithm replicates in
    the brains of the sign's viewers...
[21:49] ---
    ...and creates enclosed spaces.
[21:51] ---
    But since the data became corrupt...
[21:54] ---
    ...not all the viewers are in
    the same situation as the chief.
[21:59] ---
    According to Nagato,
    eight idiots saw the correct sign.
[22:02] ---
    Five were North High students.
    Guess we'll have to save them.
[22:06] ---
    Hey, damn it! Gather around!
[22:09] ---
    When you get a good look,
    it actually says "ZOZ Brigade."
[22:14] ---
    Nagato modified the symbol,
    and I pasted it back.
[22:17] ---
    The chief's in school.
[22:19] ---
    Oh, that's nice.
[22:21] ---
    So it was May blues or just a lovers' quarrel.
[22:24] ---
    Before that, it's amazing!
    The counter's at 30,000!
[22:28] ---
    In the end, people who
    see a good thing are watching.
[22:32] ---
    Can it be...?
[22:35] ---
    Was she the one who destroyed the data?
[22:38] ---
    And our client, Miss Kimidori...
[22:41] ---
    I asked the chief,
    and he didn't have a girlfriend.
[22:44] ---
    Nagato was always in the center
    of this drawn-out scenario.
[22:48] ---
    I wouldn't be a bit surprised
    if this omnipotent alien terminal...
[22:52] ---
    ...brought us this case via Miss Kimidori.
[22:56] ---
    Perhaps to rid Haruhi's boredom
    with this client stuff, even a little.
[23:01] ---
    She probably usually prevents
    these funny things on her own...
[23:07] ---
    ...quietly from the shadows.
[23:11] ---
    Or, Nagato, was us getting
    involved what you hoped for?
[23:16] ---
    An android made by aliens,
    living in a desolate room for years...
[23:21] ---
    Nagato, do you have times after all...
[23:25] ---
    ...when you feel lonely being all by yourself?
[23:39] ---
    If we figured out the globe
    like we would a riddle...
[23:45] ---
    ...we could all go anywhere together.
[23:48] ---
    To the end of time, BOOOON!
[23:51] ---
    This feeling that is a warp and a loop.
[23:55] ---
    With an imagination that engulfs
    anything and everything, let's play.
[24:01] ---
    Something on one sunny day,
    more fun than any magic possible...
[24:06] ---
    ...endlessly pours down. It's not impossible.
[24:12] ---
    When we meet again tomorrow,
    we're all humming as we smile.
[24:17] ---
    Let's gather happiness. Such a thing is so easy.
[24:23] ---
    Chase after me. Try to catch it.
[24:28] ---
    A big dream... You like dreams, right?