E22 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya Part Three Source: Crunchyroll Translator: Editor: Timer: QC: (Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.) [00:22] ---     Okay, on to the next scene. [00:24] ---     Yuki, use your magic to take out Mikuru. [00:32] ---     The answer is "no!" of course. [00:34] ---     I can't give my permission for you to     use your magic, let alone hurt Miss Asahina. [00:38] ---     Look, Miss Asahina's     turning blue and shaking from fear. [00:51] ---     Oh well. We'll use CG effects in this scene. [00:55] ---     Kyon, put in a beam     coming from Yuki's wand, okay? [01:00] ---     How am I supposed to     put in a visual effect like that? [01:03] ---     Okay, Mikuru, now scream!     And fall over, like you're in pain. [01:26] ---     Day by day, everything's just so dull [01:31] ---     That's why you need to become     someone that can just reject it all [01:36] ---     Oh my boy, you need to be decisive [01:40] ---     I won't deal with any lies     in this small world [01:46] ---     I found myself on my own,     it's natural you'd fall for me [01:51] ---     Kick away the boring ways of doing things, [01:53] ---     I'm going to decide everything [01:57] ---     I say, I say my heaven [02:00] ---     Super driver, leave everything to the rush [02:02] ---     And just keep going forward, no matter what [02:04] ---     Surpass (Don't you stop me)     The idea of "impossible" [02:08] ---     Take it easy, go! [02:09] ---     I agree, it's going to be a huge victory [02:11] ---     Of course, it'll feel pleasant,     no matter what happens [02:14] ---     A review meeting? (Get back to wild)     Forget that, now hurry up [02:19] ---     We haven't tried this or that,     we always do things how we want [02:24] ---     Everything's a new experience,     let's try them out [02:29] ---     We haven't tried this or that,     we always do things suddenly [02:34] ---     Everything's a new experience,     what about it? [02:39] ---     The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya [02:50] ---     We need a scene with pigeons. [02:53] ---     There's a shrine nearby.     We're heading there next. [02:56] ---     We're going to shoot a scene     of Mikuru walking along [02:58] ---     as some pigeons go flying into the air. [03:01] ---     I'd love it if these pigeons were all completely white. [03:01] ---     The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya III [03:03] ---     Please don't feed the pigeons [03:04] ---     In this case, I'll let the color slide. [03:07] ---     Can't you read Japanese? [03:14] ---     What in the world     am I supposed to be filming? [03:19] ---     This is it, Kyon! Be sure to shoot it! [03:23] ---     Why are you sitting down, Mikuru?! [03:25] ---     Hey, you! [03:31] ---     What?! [03:34] ---     Retreat! [03:43] ---     You don't eat much, do you, Mikuru? [03:47] ---     You'll never grow bigger if you don't eat more. [03:50] ---     If you only focus on growing your breasts,     you'll only appeal to a hardcore fan base. [03:54] ---     Be sure to get taller, too. [03:56] ---     I already know. [03:58] ---     I don't know how many years from now     it will be, but Miss Asahina will eventually [04:01] ---     have a face and a body good enough     for her to enter the Miss Universe pageant. [04:06] ---     Though I don't think she knows that. [04:09] ---     Haruhi, what are you going to do     if that priest complains to the school? [04:14] ---     Koizumi's school uniform is a dead giveaway. [04:18] ---     It'll probably be okay. We were pretty     far away, and blazers are fairly common. [04:22] ---     Even if he says something,     we can just play stupid. [04:25] ---     Once we show the movie, I'm pretty sure     our cover will be blown in an instant. [04:30] ---     I can't imagine there's more than     one waitress who would come out [04:33] ---     to this shrine and walk amongst the pigeons. [04:36] ---     So where are we going next? [04:39] ---     Let's go back to the park again. [04:42] ---     Now that I think about it, what we got     wasn't enough for a fight scene. [04:46] ---     Mikuru, being chased through     the forest by Yuki, running for her life. [04:50] ---     How about we have Mikuru fall off a cliff, [04:53] ---     and then she's saved by Koizumi,     who just happened to be walking by? [04:58] ---     What a slapdash way     to come up with the story. [05:01] ---     This is Haruhi we're talking about,     so she might actually throw her off a cliff. [05:05] ---     You should fall instead. Put on     that costume and be her stunt double. [05:10] ---     Well, your breasts aren't quite as big, but... [05:13] ---     What are you imagining? [05:15] ---     You're not imagining me     as a waitress, are you? [05:19] ---     You mind reader... [05:21] ---     Are we three the only ones     appearing in the film? [05:24] ---     Don't ask needless questions, you jerk. [05:27] ---     Well... I wonder,     is three people not enough? [05:30] ---     Koizumi, you helped me     realize something important. [05:33] ---     As a reward, I'll give you more screen time. [05:37] ---     Well... thank you. [05:39] ---     Serves you right. [05:41] ---     I didn't say anything because I knew     I'd be stirring up a hornet's nest. [05:46] ---     You've got to take out the minions     before you can defeat the boss, right? [05:51] ---     Minions... minions... [05:52] ---     They'll do, right? [05:54] ---     That works! [05:56] ---     Taniguchi and Kunikida.     They're perfect supporting characters, [05:59] ---     and what's more, they're the ultimate minions. [06:01] ---     In any case, we're going to have     horrible things happen to you, Mikuru. [06:05] ---     After all, the theme     of this movie is a pitiful girl [06:08] ---     that has horrible things happen     to her getting a happy ending! [06:14] ---     The bigger Mikuru's misfortune is,     the bigger the cathartic release will be! [06:20] ---     Why are you acting like I'm unreliable? [06:32] ---     And so we returned to the wooded park. [06:37] ---     Let's get rid of the guns. [06:41] ---     I thought more amazing bullets     would come out of them, [06:43] ---     but they don't give off     any flashy sounds or flames. [06:45] ---     They just don't feel realistic. [06:48] ---     Mikuru, you stand here. [06:52] ---     Yuki, you stand here. [06:56] ---     Don't move from those spots, okay? [06:58] ---     I want to shoot a scene where     you two are staring each other down. [07:01] ---     Koizumi, get the reflector ready. [07:07] ---     Action! [07:08] ---     What the?! [07:11] ---     Action? Haruhi, all you've     told them to do is stand there. [07:15] ---     What kind of action     are they supposed to take? [07:25] ---     Come on, you guys!     That won't make for a battle scene at all. [07:28] ---     Well, they're just standing there, after all. [07:34] ---     Listen, Mikuru. [07:35] ---     You can't rest on your laurels     just because you're cute! [07:39] ---     There are tons of other     cute girls out there, after all. [07:43] ---     If you just leave things be, you'll be     overtaken by all the young up-and-comers! [07:48] ---     What is she trying to say? [07:49] ---     That's why you have to at least     have a beam come from your eye, Mikuru! [07:55] ---     I can't! [07:56] ---     That's why your left eye is a different color. [08:00] ---     I didn't make it blue for no reason. [08:02] ---     The idea is that there's     incredible power hidden within it. [08:05] ---     That's what the beam is. It's the Mikuru Beam. [08:08] ---     That's what you need to fire off. [08:09] ---     I can't! [08:10] ---     Show some spirit and fire it! [08:12] ---     It hurts! [08:13] ---     You idiot! [08:14] ---     Cut it out! [08:15] ---     What are you doing? [08:17] ---     You need to calm down! [08:17] ---     Let go! [08:27] ---     How the hell is a normal human     supposed to shoot a beam from their eye? [08:29] ---     Are you stupid or something? [08:33] ---     I know that. [08:37] ---     I just wanted her to show some spirit,     as if a beam might come out. [08:41] ---     She lacks the drive you need     to be a lead in a movie, after all. [08:44] ---     You don't get jokes, do you? [08:47] ---     That's because your jokes     turn out to not be jokes. [08:50] ---     What'll happen if Miss Asahina really gets     the ability to shoot a beam from her eye? [08:55] ---     You can't, right? [09:01] ---     After we shoot the scene,     we can figure something out using CG, right? [09:06] ---     Thank you. [09:08] ---     And who's going to do that? [09:09] ---     That's what I meant from the start. [09:13] ---     This take was no good.     Let's take it from the top again. [09:16] ---     Shout, "Mikuru Beam!"     while you pose like this. [09:20] ---     L-Like this? [09:22] ---     No, like this! And close your right eye. [09:25] ---     Okay, Mikuru. Try saying it. [09:28] ---     M... M-M-Mikuru Beam! [09:31] ---     Louder this time! [09:33] ---     Mikuru Beam! [09:35] ---     Be less embarrassed about it, and louder! [09:38] ---     M-M-Mikuru Beam! [09:41] ---     Project from your diaphragm! [09:43] ---     The stares coming from the families     watching us are starting to hurt... [09:46] ---     Okay! Now let's try this for real! [09:57] ---     Now, use the beam! [10:02] ---     M-M-Mikuru Beam! [10:11] ---     Huh? Yuki, when did you go over there? [10:36] ---     Cut, cut! [10:37] ---     Miss Nagato! [10:39] ---     Hold on, Yuki, what are you doing? [10:41] ---     What are you doing? Hey, Nagato! [10:41] ---     This isn't in the script. [10:52] ---     Are you all right? [10:55] ---     Huh? [10:55] ---     Oh, what are you two doing? [10:58] ---     Please don't do anything     that's not in the script. [11:00] ---     Huh? Mikuru, what happened     to the contact lens? [11:05] ---     Huh? [11:06] ---     At a time like this, you ask the one person     who looks like they know what's going on. [11:11] ---     Nagato, do you know what happened     to Miss Asahina's color contact? [11:14] ---     I don't. [11:15] ---     That's a lie. [11:16] ---     I wonder if it fell out during your struggle. [11:18] ---     Why can't we find it? [11:22] ---     Act like you're looking, too. [11:25] ---     It might have been blown away     by the wind. It is light, after all. [11:29] ---     What happened? Did it break? [11:32] ---     I guess it was cheap. [11:34] ---     Well, it's the Photography Club's,     so I guess that's to be expected. [11:38] ---     Koizumi, please tape up     the back or something. [11:41] ---     Right. [11:44] ---     Without the color contact,     the video won't match up. [11:48] ---     What do we do? [11:52] ---     Got it! We'll have the eye color change     happen after she transforms! [11:57] ---     T-Transform? [11:58] ---     Of course! It wouldn't be realistic     if you wore that costume all the time! [12:04] ---     There's something unrealistic about     people who want reality in their fiction. [12:07] ---     T-That's good. I really would like     to wear a more normal outfit! [12:14] ---     So your normal clothes are     going to be the bunny girl outfit! [12:18] ---     W-W-W-Why?! [12:20] ---     Because that's all I brought. [12:23] ---     And besides, there'd be nothing showy     on the screen if she wore normal clothes. [12:27] ---     Well... [12:27] ---     Wait! [12:28] ---     I just thought of something! [12:31] ---     Mikuru is normally a bunny girl who brings     in customers for the shopping strip stores. [12:36] ---     But when she senses danger, she transforms! [12:39] ---     That's when she becomes a battling waitress! [12:42] ---     What do you think? Perfect, right? [12:43] ---     What happened to the reality     you mentioned before? [12:46] ---     All right, let's get going. [12:47] ---     Ow ow ow ow... [12:51] ---     Thank you for all the hard work... [12:54] ---     So what was all that ad libbing about? [13:01] ---     Here. [13:04] ---     So it was you that took it. [13:07] ---     Laser. [13:11] ---     Hey, Nagato. [13:12] ---     I've always noticed that you keep     your explanations to the bare minimum. [13:17] ---     How about you speak for at least ten seconds? [13:20] ---     A coherent, narrow beam of light     invisible to the human eye. [13:24] ---     I see. A coherent,     narrow beam... invisible... [13:27] ---     Sorry, I'm even more confused now. [13:30] ---     A laser? [13:31] ---     Yes. [13:32] ---     That's surprising. May I? [13:36] ---     It looks like a normal contact to me. [13:39] ---     What do you mean? [13:42] ---     Would you show me your right palm? [13:46] ---     Oh, not you. I mean Miss Nagato. [14:00] ---     It broke through my shield. [14:02] ---     Don't be so blasé when you say that.     Just looking at it hurts. [14:05] ---     Incredibly strong. I had to act fast. [14:08] ---     Did the beam come from     Miss Asahina's left eye? [14:12] ---     Correct. [14:14] ---     Just "correct"?! [14:16] ---     It will be repaired soon. [14:22] ---     Oh, good grief. [14:24] ---     Did Miss Asahina actually     shoot a beam from her eye? [14:27] ---     It's not a particle acceleration cannon.     It's cohesive light. [14:30] ---     Whatever. [14:32] ---     Laser, maser, marker-light FAHP,     they're all the same to normal people. [14:37] ---     The problem remains the fact that     Miss Asahina fired off a heat ray. [14:41] ---     Not a heat ray. A photon laser. [14:44] ---     I told you, we don't need the scientific details. [14:48] ---     Is this an ability that     Miss Asahina has always possessed? [14:52] ---     No. Currently, Mikuru Asahina     is a normal human being. [14:57] ---     She is not any different than anyone else. [15:00] ---     Could there be some sort of     mechanism in that contact? [15:03] ---     No. It's a simple cosmetic accessory. [15:05] ---     Which means... [15:07] ---     If Nagato hadn't protected me, the laser     beam that shot out of Miss Asahina's eye [15:12] ---     would have probably pierced the video     camera's lens, gone through my eye, [15:16] ---     roasted various other bits,     and then come out the back of my head. [15:21] ---     This was Miss Suzumiya's doing. [15:24] ---     Because she wanted there     to be a Mikuru Beam, [15:26] ---     reality changed so that there was one. [15:30] ---     Wait a second. [15:31] ---     That contact lens hasn't had     any magic cast on it, right? [15:34] ---     Even if Haruhi wished for it,     why did a killer laser beam come out of it? [15:38] ---     Miss Suzumiya doesn't need magic     or strange scientific technology. [15:43] ---     All she needs to do is     think something exists, and it will. [15:47] ---     But there's no way she actually thinks that     a beam would come shooting out of it. [15:51] ---     That's true. [15:52] ---     We all know that Miss Suzumiya     possesses common sense. [15:56] ---     However, it's also true     that she doesn't subscribe [15:58] ---     to the world's sensibilities, either. [16:01] ---     There's probably some sort of     special situation going on. [16:04] ---     That's... Oh, and she's back. [16:09] ---     We'll continue this discussion later... [16:12] ---     How long are you going to complain?     Act more like an actress! [16:15] ---     A willingness to strip will put you     on the fast track to the blue ribbon! [16:22] ---     Okay, sorry to keep you waiting! [16:27] ---     Zoom in! [16:29] ---     Confirmation completed.     It's definitely the Miss Asahina I know. [16:33] ---     What are you doing? [16:39] ---     You mustn't film anything unless I tell you to. [16:42] ---     I know that. Here's your proof--     I didn't hit the record button. [16:46] ---     I was just looking at her. [16:48] ---     Okay, everyone! Eyes here! And get ready. [17:00] ---     After that, what I filmed     was video of what was supposed to be [17:03] ---     Miss Asahina's day-to-day activities. [17:06] ---     What kind of day-to-day life     is she supposed to have? [17:13] ---     And after pulling     Miss Asahina this way and that... [17:20] ---     Having a mountain in     the background just doesn't work. [17:23] ---     Let's go to town. [17:28] ---     Oh geez. [17:34] ---     Miss Asahina wore her     bunny girl outfit until the sun set. [17:40] ---     The only thing she really did     was walk around in that outfit. [17:47] ---     The idea of "permission to shoot"     doesn't exist in Haruhi's mind, [17:51] ---     so Haruhi was "free" to just shoot     whatever and wherever she wanted to. [17:55] ---     This is a dignified freedom, in the same     vein as the papal freedom of action [17:59] ---     practiced in the time of Pope Innocence III. [18:02] ---     Or so I'm told. [18:06] ---     The definition of "free"     is being misunderstood. [18:13] ---     I guess this works for today. [18:17] ---     What a long day. Tomorrow's Sunday,     and I'd like to spend it relaxing. [18:21] ---     Okay, see you tomorrow. [18:23] ---     We'll be meeting up     at the same time and place. [18:26] ---     What a carefree girl. [18:27] ---     I hope she's going to give us     some time to change, at least. [18:30] ---     What's that?     You've got to get the filming done! [18:32] ---     We don't have the time to take things slow! [18:35] ---     You can relax as much as you want     once the school festival is over. [18:38] ---     Until then, consider your calendar     to be free of days off! [18:41] ---     Okay, see you tomorrow! [18:43] ---     We're going to complete     this movie, no matter what. [18:45] ---     No. As long as I'm the director,     its completion is guaranteed! [18:50] ---     Everything else hinges on your hard work. [18:54] ---     Be on time. [18:55] ---     Anyone that's late will be lynched     and get the death penalty! [19:03] ---     I'll tell Miss Asahina. [19:06] ---     Tell her what? [19:08] ---     About the laser. If she doesn't     change the color of her eye, [19:12] ---     then a weird laser beam     won't come out of it. [19:14] ---     Perhaps we should     take a precaution, just in case. [19:18] ---     I'm sure that she'll cooperate. [19:21] ---     After all, a beam would be dangerous. [19:30] ---     Man... [19:33] ---     ...but Nagato just keeps saving my life. [19:45] ---     Hey, Kyon. This isn't what we talked about. [19:47] ---     Where's the lovely Miss Asahina? [19:49] ---     I came here because you said     that she'd come and meet me. [19:52] ---     Well, she's not here. I came for the eye candy. [19:54] ---     What are you talking about? You're the hero! [19:56] ---     So what about it? [19:57] ---     30% of this movie is riding on you! [20:01] ---     70% is on me and my genius, of course... [20:01] ---     All I can see is Suzumiya's angry face. [20:03] ---     That doesn't matter! [20:04] ---     This is a scam! [20:06] ---     It's a scam, so just die.     Just gaze at Nagato or something. [20:09] ---     But you know, that actually looks     pretty good on Miss Nagato. [20:12] ---     Kyon! What's up with Mikuru? [20:16] ---     Ohh, if you keep dawdling like that, [20:16] ---     It looks like Miss Tsuruya's been [20:17] ---     we'll never get anywhere! [20:17] ---     pulled into being an extra, too. [20:20] ---     So, what are we doing? [20:20] ---     What?! Get your butt over here already! [20:22] ---     I came because they told me to [20:23] ---     if I wasn't doing anything. [20:24] ---     How do you read that, the words     written on Miss Suzumiya's armband? [20:27] ---     What are you doing with that handycam? [20:29] ---     What's with Yuki's outfit? [20:31] ---     Wow, Koizumi!     You're looking hot today, as usual. [20:34] ---     What a restless person. [20:36] ---     What was that? Your stomach hurts? [20:39] ---     Dummy! That only works     through elementary school! [20:43] ---     Come here, now! You have thirty seconds! [20:46] ---     And so it seems that Miss Asahina     has a sudden case of shut-in syndrome. [20:51] ---     I'm going to go get her. Let me see the bag. [21:08] ---     I can understand how Miss Asahina feels. [21:11] ---     After all, it feels like she might end up     as a real transforming hero at this rate. [21:16] ---     A laser beam is a bit too much, though. [21:20] ---     But I think we'll be able to     avoid any strange beams coming out. [21:25] ---     How? [21:28] ---     Miss Nagato's cooperated with us. [21:32] ---     What did you do to Miss Asahina? [21:35] ---     She just removed her ability to shoot lasers. [21:37] ---     I'm not really sure, either. [21:40] ---     Unlike the other TFEI terminals,     Miss Nagato doesn't speak very much. [21:45] ---     What's a TFEI? [21:48] ---     It's an acronym that     my organization just assigned to them. [21:51] ---     You don't need to know what it stands for. [21:54] ---     But I get the feeling that Miss Nagato     is unusual, even amongst "them." [22:07] ---     Oh, about that thing earlier. [22:10] ---     On the way back from the convenience     store one night, a taxi passed me. [22:15] ---     Available Car [22:15] ---     And I glanced at its "available car" light, [22:19] ---     but it looked like "beloved car" to me. [22:21] ---     That's surprising. [22:23] ---     But before I could take another     look at it, it drove off. [22:27] ---     And that's when I realized that maybe     what I'm missing in my life is love. [22:33] ---     Maybe it really did have     "beloved car" written on the light. [22:36] ---     I'm sure it was a private taxi. [22:40] ---     I never thought we'd be     relying on these two idiots. [22:45] ---     You're not going to get away     with pretending to be sick. [22:48] ---     We're going to start filming right away! [22:52] ---     Heya, Mikuru! Wow, that's really sexy! [22:57] ---     I'm sorry I'm late. [22:59] ---     Oh, I don't mind. [23:01] ---     Heya, Miss Suzumiya! [23:03] ---     I'm sorry about yesterday. [23:05] ---     It looks like I ended up firing off     a laser weapon without realizing it. [23:08] ---     Oh no, I wasn't hurt, after all. [23:18] ---     I was bitten. [23:20] ---     By what? [23:21] ---     By Miss Nagato. [23:22] ---     She said she injected some     nanomachines or something into me... [23:26] ---     But it looks like nothing will be     coming out of my eye anymore. [23:29] ---     Thank goodness. [23:30] ---     What did she inject into you? [23:32] ---     Last night, she and Koizumi     came to my house together. [23:36] ---     What are you two whispering about? [23:38] ---     You're so cute, Mikuru.     I'd love to keep you as a pet! [23:42] ---     Don't look. You'll take away     some of her cuteness. [23:44] ---     Okay, I've decided where we're shooting next! [23:46] ---     There's a big lake near where Koizumi lives. [23:50] ---     Let's head there to shoot for now. [23:52] ---     Filming Crew [24:04] ---     It fell from the sky [24:07] ---     With all of the wishes that were made upon it [24:09] ---     Maybe it was a little too heavy for a single star [24:15] ---     Something just doesn't seem right [24:17] ---     The image of you in my mind has vanished [24:20] ---     Can I say that I remember you clearly? [24:24] ---     Stop! [24:26] ---     The past belongs to me [24:30] ---     Of course I don't want     to trade it with anyone else [24:34] ---     That's because [24:36] ---     It was my birthday,     and when we saw each other [24:41] ---     We could see the first dream [24:43] ---     That we had when we were born [24:46] ---     Worrying about "what do I do?" [24:51] ---     Is laughable when I think about it now [24:55] ---     I've already forgotten it [24:58] ---     Let's search for you