E1 - Ichikura Hayate

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:03] [Messenger] txt
    Alarm
[00:19] Hayate
    Hurry, hurry.
[00:24] Hayate
    Hur—
[00:32] Hayate
    Hurry, hurry.
[00:38] Hayate
    All right.
[00:40] Hayate
    Wait, today's class is in the afternoon.
[00:47] Narr
    I'm sure you have people
    like this around you too.
[00:51] Narr
    They're so cool, good looking,
    and yet slightly...
SIGN    I forgot my wallet
SIGN    The sound is kinda distant
SIGN    Oh yeah, I'm wearing contacts
SIGN    Doesn't notice it's a bendy straw
SIGN    msy Gu
SIGN    msy Gu
SIGN    msy Gu
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
[00:58] Nar
    Clumsy guys.
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
SIGN    Clumsy Guys
[01:01] Nar
    These are the day-to-day adventures
[01:04] Nar
    of a group of awkward guys
    who still manage to play it cool.
SIGN    #01
     Ichikura Hayate
SIGN    Cool,
    sexy
    guys
     Keep it
    simple,
     then
    add
    one
    extra
    flair.
SIGN    Even if it's simple, quality is important. Accessories set you apart!
SIGN    This year's trend is to play with colors, textures, and silhouettes.
[02:42] Hayate
    Keep it simple, then add one extra flair.
[02:46] Hayate
    Cool, sexy guys.
SIGN    Cool,
    sexy
    guys
     Keep it
    simple,
     then
    add
    one
    extra
    flair.
SIGN    This year's trend is to play with colors, textures, and silhouettes.
SIGN    Even if it's simple, quality is important. Accessories set you apart!
[02:50] Hayate
    I swear, these days it's all something-something
    guys or something-something women.
[02:55] Hayate
    Can't relate, as a guy who
    doesn't have anything going on
[02:59] Hayate
    that could qualify me for any category.
[03:05] Hayate
    I don't need a bag.
[03:06] Girl
    Got it.
[03:10] Girl
    Sir, isn't that your wallet?
[03:16] Hayate
    Sorry. I meant this.
[03:18] Girl
    No problem!
[03:20] Girl
    Thank you!
[03:23] Girl
    That guy messed up in a cool way again.
SIGN    Cringe
[03:29] Hayate
    That was embarrassing.
SIGN    Ichikura
    Hayate
SIGN    Born: April 24th
SIGN    20 yrs / College student
SIGN    Cool and Awkward Files 01
SIGN    The type to get embarrassed and reflect
[03:45] Hayate
    I'm in my second year in college,
    but I still can't see where I'm going.
SIGN    Career discussion
    . Year Class Name
SIGN    Going to university / Other
SIGN    Motivations
[03:54] Hayate
    If I had that kind of personality,
[03:59] Hayate
    I might have figured out what I'm
    supposed to be doing by now.
SIGN    Turn
SIGN    Home University
[04:03] Hay
    And right as I was thinking that,
    I realized I was going the wrong way.
[04:10] [Messenger] txt
    Student jobs Shibuya
    
     Jobs for students -
    find the perfect job
    for you! Job prince
[04:13] Kuro
    Hey.
[04:16] Hay
    Hey.
[04:17] Kuro
    Huh? Are you looking for a part-time job?
[04:18] [Messenger] txt
     2 days a week OK! Staff for live venue
     Wage 1000 Yen
     Location 10 minute walk from Shibuya station
     1 day a week~/4h~ No experience needed
    
     Pub staff
     Wage 1000 Yen ~ 1375 Yen + travel costs
     Free staff meals
     3 minute walk
[04:21] Kuro
    Aren't you working at a pub?
[04:22] Hay
    I'm gonna quit at the end of this month.
[04:25] Kuro
    How come?
[04:27] Hay
    It's become a kind of go-to place for
    a lot of student drinking parties,
[04:30] Hay
    so I don't like it anymore.
[04:32] Kuro
    Oh yeah, you're not a fan of crowds, huh?
[04:35] Kuro
    You're already in your second year.
[04:38] Kuro
    And you still haven't joined any clubs.
[04:42] Hay
    I figure it's no good to force it.
[04:45] Kuro
    Force what?
[04:46] Hay
    Having someone there who isn't interested would bring down the people who actually care.
[04:52] Kuro
    Wait, that's what you worry about?
[04:55] Hay
    Yeah.
[04:56] Kuro
    Well, you shouldn't.
[04:58] Kuro
    I wasn't particularly interested
    in traveling myself.
[05:00] Kuro
    Then I joined the travel club, and now
    I'm actually kinda enjoying myself.
[05:06] Hay
    What's so funny?
[05:07] Kuro
    No, remember back in our first year?
[05:09] Kuro
    We went to an opening party
    for one of these clubs.
[05:11] (Flashback) All
    Cheers!
[05:14] Hay
    I don't belong here.
[05:16] (Flashback) Girl
    Hayate-kun!
[05:18] (Flashback) Girl
    Let me guess, these types of
    parties aren't your thing?
[05:20] (Flashback) Hay
    Yeah...
[05:21] (Flashback) Girl
    I'm gonna sit down.
[05:23] (Flashback) Hay
    U-Uh...
[05:26] (Flashback) Girl
    You're all nerves!
[05:28] (Flashback) Hay
    This is my first drinking party.
[05:30] (Flashback) Girl
    I guess you just started
    college in the spring.
[05:33] (Flashback) Girl
    Once you get used to it,
    these things are really fun.
[05:36] (Flashback) Hay
    Um, this has been on my mind the whole time.
[05:38] (Flashback) Girl
    Yes?
SIGN    Badump
SIGN    Lean
[05:40] (Flashback) Hay
    Your top has slipped off a bit.
[05:42] (Flashback) Kuro
    Dude!
[05:43] (Flashback) Kuro
    That's supposed to be like that!
[05:44] (Flashback) Kuro
    That style's called "off shoulder"!
[05:47] (Flashback) Hay
    I didn't know. I'm sorry.
[05:49] (Flashback) Girl
    That's right, geez.
[05:52] (Flashback) Girl
    You're so cute.
[05:54] (Flashback) Hay
    Well then, please make
    sure to not catch a cold.
SIGN    Throb
SIGN    Badump
[05:57] Girl
    I love it! He's so awkward!
[06:00] Hay
    It's made that way?
[06:02] Hay
    I'm so embarrassed, I could die.
[06:04] Guy
    So there was that.
[06:06] Guy
    It was pretty impressive how you managed
    to play it cool in that situation.
[06:09] Hay
    Please forget about it.
[06:11] Guy
    I don't get why you hate parties.
SIGN    Pub
    Hakoneko
[06:15] Hay
    I'm not good with people to begin with.
[06:18] Hay
    I get nervous, and I always mess up.
[06:21] Hay
    People who can just glide
    over their mistakes
[06:26] Hay
    Good morning.
[06:26] Hay
    are a lot cooler and more impressive.
[06:27] Boss
    Morning.
[06:28] Boss
    So about next week,
    can we move your shifts?
[06:29] Girl1
    Hayate-kun is so great.
[06:31] Girl2
    He never says anything, which
    just makes him seem even cooler.
[06:31] Boss
    We're got a group coming on Sunday.
[06:33] Hay
    Sure.
[06:34] Boss
    Thanks so much!
[06:36] Boss
    Then next Sunday, you start at 4 PM.
[06:37] Girl1
    I know what you mean!
[06:39] Hay
    Got it.
[06:42] Hay
    Here you go.
[06:43] Hay
    Two draft beers.
[06:44] Stu
    Souma! That's the entrance, not the toilet!
[06:48] Sou
    Whoops, my bad!
[06:49] Stu
    Jeez.
[06:51] Girl
    That's too funny!
SIGN    Teehee
SIGN    Everyone's
[06:54] Voice
    Whoops, my bad!
[06:56] Guy
    He's so easy-going!
[06:59] Guy
    Excuse me, but we didn't order this.
[07:03] Guy2
    We're the ones who ordered that!
[07:06] Hay
    I messed up!
SIGN    Teehee
[07:08] Hay
    I got in trouble.
[07:09] Boss
    There's a time to be casual,
[07:11] Boss
    but I need you to take an apology
    to a customer seriously.
[07:15] Hay
    Yes, sir.
[07:17] Hay
    You shouldn't do things
    that don't come naturally.
[07:20] Hay
    It's been a while. I feel
    like something sweet.
SIGN    Wha-bam
SIGN    Fluffy Custard Souffle
SIGN    New Item
SIGN    Hamham Chestnut Pudding
SIGN    Badump
[07:27] Hay
    That looks like our hamster!
SIGN    The Ichikura Household's Stars
SIGN    Anko and Kinako
SIGN    Instant decision
SIGN    Instant decision
SIGN    Show
[07:33] Koba
    Oh, it's the cool-awkward guy.
SIGN    Kobayashi
SIGN    Kobayashi
[07:37] Koba
    You managed to put the right item out today.
[07:40] Koba
    That'll be 250 yen.
[07:47] Hay
    I'm sorry.
[07:48] Hay
    Please cancel that.
[07:49] Work
    Oh, sure.
[07:51] Work
    He forgot his wallet.
[07:53] Work
    Poor guy!
[07:54] Work
    I feel bad for him!
[07:55] Work
    But it's also kind of cute.
[07:57] Hay
    I screwed it up again.
[08:02] Work
    Excuse me, do you like small animals?
[08:06] Hay
    Huh?
SIGN    Small Animals Cafe 10-minute walk from Shibuya Station
SIGN    Hakoniwa
SIGN    200% comfort
     factor
SIGN    Recently
    renovated!!
SIGN    Come check us out!!!
[08:07] Work
    We're handing out flyers for a small animal
    cafe with a half-off coupon for drinks.
[08:13] Work
    Would you like to take one?
[08:15] Hay
    Thank you.
[08:17] Work
    Guess he's cool after all.
[08:19] Work
    Maybe I just imagined him feeling
    down about forgetting his wallet.
[08:24] Work
    Maybe I shouldn't have given him that.
[08:27] Hay
    I'm so happy!
[08:30] Hay
    I want to go there.
[08:31] Hay
    I want to give them sunflower seeds.
[08:33] Hay
    But I have Anko and Kinako...
SIGN    Feels like cheating
SIGN    Feels like cheating
SIGN     Push for signal
[08:40] Hay
    If I hadn't forgotten my wallet,
[08:42] Hay
    she probably wouldn't have
    given me this pamphlet.
[08:46] Hay
    If I think about it that way,
[08:48] Hay
    then maybe I can be a bit
    more positive than usual.
[08:53] Hay
    By accepting your shortcomings like this,
[08:56] Hay
    maybe you can figure out who you really are.
SIGN    Push for signal
[09:00] Hay
    For now, I should just try to
    stay positive and move on.
SIGN    Please push
SIGN    Push
[09:11] hay
    And already, a mistake!
SIGN    Blush
[09:13] hay
    I'm sorry. I didn't notice.
[09:16] Shun
    No problem.
[09:19] Hay
    Wow.
[09:21] Hay
    So cool, so chill.
[09:22] Hay
    So cool.
[09:26] Shun
    I forget to push those
    things all the time, too.
SIGN    Coming up next
SIGN    Futami Shun
SIGN    We hope you'll tune in again!
SIGN    We hope you'll tune in again!