2 - The Red-Haired Wizard Boy

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] Sign
    This show contains scenes that some viewers may
    find disturbing.​ Viewer discretion ​is ​advised.
[00:05] Wizard Boy
    Seriously... Why do I have to be here?
[00:12] Priestess
    Er... All right, then.
[00:13] Priestess
    Shall we get going, Goblin Slayer?
[00:16] Goblin Slayer
    Yeah.
[00:17] Wizard Boy
    Aha, so we're heading right
    into murdering those goblins.
[00:21] Priestess
    No, not exactly.
[00:24] Goblin Slayer
    We're gathering information.
[00:26] Goblin Slayer
    We're going to see the client.
[00:28] Wizard Boy
    Huh?
SIGN    The Red-Haired Wizard Boy
[02:02] Dwarf Shaman
    What? All you've got is wine?
[02:04] Dwarf Shaman
    Don't you have any of
    the hard stuff, brother?
[02:07] Foreman
    Only us dwarves can function after
    drinking this early in the day.
[02:11] Foreman
    We've got humans here, brother.
[02:14] Foreman
    Anyway...
[02:16] Foreman
    A few days ago, this somewhat reputable
    party accepted our quest...
[02:22] Goblin Slayer
    But they didn't come back.
[02:23] Foreman
    Correct.
[02:26] Foreman
    Are you the one they call Beard-cutter?
[02:29] Goblin Slayer
    Yeah. Some call me that.
[02:31] Foreman
    Goblin Slayer, eh?
[02:35] Foreman
    So what did you wanna ask about?
[02:37] Goblin Slayer
    Goblins.
[02:39] Foreman
    Well, it's not just goblins,
    but there are quite a few of them.
[02:44] Foreman
    I wouldn't say they're just
    stealing our tools lately,
[02:47] Foreman
    but I can't have them harming
    my workers in the future, either.
[02:50] Goblin Slayer
    So, goblins.
[02:51] Foreman
    Laborers are one thing, but prostitutes
    and peddlers are a whole different matter.
[02:57] Foreman
    I can't pay much for
    exterminating goblins, either.
[03:00] Goblin Slayer
    That's how slaying goblins goes.
[03:02] High Elf Archer
    Hey, Orcbolg. You haven't forgotten that
    we're letting her give orders, have you?
[03:07] Goblin Slayer
    No.
[03:08] High Elf Archer
    Really?
[03:09] Goblin Slayer
    But emergencies are different.
[03:12] Priestess
    Right. I'll be counting on
    you when we're in trouble.
[03:15] Priestess
    So, um...
[03:17] Priestess
    We have a few questions for you.
[03:19] Priestess
    So, these goblins...
[03:20] Priestess
    Er, these monsters. Do you know where
    the ruins in which they're appearing are?
[03:25] Foreman
    Yeah. The fool that got his tools
    stolen chased down the goblin.
[03:32] Foreman
    We can't just stand by when
    some fool mishandles our tools!
[03:37] Priestess
    In that case, we'll have to get
    those tools back if we find them.
[03:41] Foreman
    Yeah, thanks.
[03:43] Foreman
    Lessee. It's a bit north from
    here. I'll get you a map.
[03:49] Foreman
    I think it was...
[03:51] Goblin Slayer
    A mausoleum.
[03:53] Goblin Slayer
    A place comprised of burial
    chambers and hallways.
[03:56] Goblin Slayer
    I heard it was a common design for graves.
[03:58] Foreman
    Ah, so you've heard of it.
[04:00] Goblin Slayer
    A long time ago.
    I was told never to go near it.
[04:04] Priestess
    Um...
[04:06] Priestess
    Was there anything unusual about
    the entrance to that grave?
[04:10] Priestess
    Perhaps some bones or a drawing?
[04:11] Foreman
    No one's mentioned anything.
[04:13] Priestess
    So no totems...
[04:15] Priestess
    Also, do you know the ranks and makeup
    of the party that previously went?
[04:19] Foreman
    I'm pretty sure they were
    porcelain and obsidian.
[04:23] Foreman
    They had a lizardman warrior
    and a priest warrior.
[04:26] Foreman
    They also had a wizard and a priest.
[04:29] Foreman
    Also a scout or something...
[04:32] Priestess
    Were there any women in their party?
[04:33] Foreman
    Two. The priest warrior and the priest...
    No, maybe she was an acolyte?
[04:41] Goblin Slayer
    Well?
[04:42] Lizardman Priest
    If they're lucky, two, but most
    likely, they were all killed.
[04:47] Lizardman Priest
    We can probably assume there was
    something else other than the goblins.
[04:51] Goblin Slayer
    If there weren't any totems,
    there shouldn't be any shamans.
[04:53] Goblin Slayer
    Hobgoblins will be easy,
    but we need to watch out for traps.
[04:56] Goblin Slayer
    I'd guess there are about
    thirty or so of them.
[04:59] Lizardman Priest
    But I'm sure their numbers
    must have gone down a little.
[05:02] Lizardman Priest
    I highly doubt the party of
    five couldn't kill even one.
[05:06] Wizard Boy
    You're not gonna do anything?
[05:08] High Elf Archer
    You gotta have the right
    people in the right places.
[05:10] High Elf Archer
    My job is to be a ranger and scout.
[05:13] High Elf Archer
    They can do the rest.
[05:15] Dwarf Shaman
    That's right, lad.
[05:16] Dwarf Shaman
    I guess even long-ears can say something
    sensible every once in a while.
[05:20] Dwarf Shaman
    Pacing is important for spell casters.
[05:23] High Elf Archer
    I always only say sensible things.
[05:26] Dwarf Shaman
    Is that so?
[05:27] High Elf Archer
    It sure is!
[05:29] Dwarf Shaman
    Anyway, the point is,
    everyone has a job to do.
[05:33] Wizard Boy
    Job? You mean other than being,
    like, a warrior or wizard?
[05:36] Priestess
    Um, could you all gather around?
[05:39] High Elf Archer
    What is it?
[05:42] Wizard Boy
    All we have to do is kill some
    goblins. What else matters?
[05:50] High Elf Archer
    I see.
[05:51] High Elf Archer
    Yeah, I can definitely imagine
    kids wanting to play in there.
[05:54] Goblin Slayer
    That's why I was told to stay away.
[05:57] Dwarf Shaman
    So, did you ever go near one?
[05:59] Goblin Slayer
    No. But I heard they consist
    of burial chambers and hallways.
[06:05] Goblin Slayer
    That's what my older sister told me.
[06:08] Goblin Slayer
    Regardless, that's in the past.
[06:11] Wizard Boy
    Let's hurry up and go in already.
[06:13] Wizard Boy
    There are other adventurers
    captured in there, right?
[06:18] (Flashback) Warrior
    We need to hurry up and save them.
[06:24] Lizardman Priest
    "Haste makes waste." This saying
    has been around for centuries.
[06:29] Priestess
    Right.
[06:32] Priestess
    Everyone.
[06:33] Priestess
    Are you ready?
[06:36] Lizardman Priest
    What shall our formation be, lady leader?
[06:40] Priestess
    Oh, stop that. You're really
    enjoying this, aren't you?
[06:46] Priestess
    As for our formation...
[06:47] Priestess
    We have a party of six this time,
    so let's have three rows of two.
[06:50] Priestess
    That'll make it easier to
    switch rows if we need to.
[06:54] High Elf Archer
    Got it. I guess we'll have to
    do that if our leader says so.
[06:57] Priestess
    Please, stop already.
[06:59] Priestess
    Oh, and...
[07:01] Wizard Boy
    Wh-What?
[07:04] Priestess
    We need to get rid of our scent.
[07:08] Wizard Boy
    Huh?
[07:20] Goblin Slayer
    Goblins. Five of them.
[07:29] Goblin Slayer
    That's one.
[07:32] High Elf Archer
    That's two!
[07:38] Wizard Boy
    Damn it!
[07:40] Wizard Boy
    Carbunculus... Crescunt...
[07:42] Priestess
    Don't use your spells yet!
[07:44] Priestess
    The door!
[07:45] High Elf Archer
    Got it!
[07:50] Dwarf Shaman
    Looks like we're all right for now.
[07:53] Lizardman Priest
    Well, I do hope I get to do something.
[07:58] Goblin Slayer
    Still too many enemies.
[07:59] Lizardman Priest
    Well, then... I guess it
    wouldn't do to hesitate.
[08:10] Wizard Boy
    Should we really be moving this slowly?
[08:13] Priestess
    It's very dangerous, so we have
    to take it one room at a time.
[08:16] Wizard Boy
    Yeah, but...
[08:17] Wizard Boy
    The captives are in danger.
[08:23] Priestess
    How are the other rooms?
[08:24] High Elf Archer
    They're unlocked, and no enemies around.
[08:27] High Elf Archer
    But look over there.
[08:33] Goblin Slayer
    A trap?
[08:34] High Elf Archer
    Probably.
[08:35] Goblin Slayer
    That's a pain.
[08:36] Priestess
    Come to think of it, he said that
    the goblins stole their tools.
[08:43] Dwarf Shaman
    Well, I don't even want to
    think about what those goblins
[08:46] Dwarf Shaman
    plan to do with those carpentry tools.
[08:49] Dwarf Shaman
    There's not much of a load on it, so I
    can't imagine it's a complicated trap.
[08:54] Lizardman Priest
    We do also have the option
    of going down another path.
[08:57] Lizardman Priest
    It appears that the other goblins
    haven't noticed we're here.
[09:06] Wizard Boy
    Damn it! This is taking forever!
[09:08] Wizard Boy
    The goblins live here, don't they?!
[09:11] Wizard Boy
    Then they wouldn't have any traps here!
[09:13] Wizard Boy
    Move!
[09:13] High Elf Archer
    Hey, wait a minute!
[09:14] High Elf Archer
    What do you think you're—
[09:15] Wizard Boy
    I'm opening this.
[09:17] Priestess
    Huh? W-Wai—
[09:19] Priestess
    I have to stop him! What do I say?
    How do I convince him?
[09:23] Priestess
    Goblin Slayer!
[09:25] Priestess
    What should I do? What should I do?
    What should I do? What should I do?
[09:34] Wizard Boy
    Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What the...
[09:39] Goblin Slayer
    The goblins are messing around.
[09:41] High Elf Archer
    This is bad.
[09:43] High Elf Archer
    His scream definitely acted as an alarm.
[09:45] Goblin Slayer
    That's how it's set up.
[09:47] Goblin Slayer
    They'll be here any minute.
[09:51] Priestess
    A scream?
[09:53] Wizard Boy
    This way!
[09:55] Priestess
    Don't take off on your own!
[10:02] Wizard Boy
    Is this it?
[10:06] Wizard Boy
    Are you here?! I'm here to save—
[10:20] Wizard Boy
    C-Carbunculus... C-Crescunt... Iacta!
[10:33] Wizard Boy
    Hey, are you okay?!
[10:36] Wizard Boy
    I'll get you out of here right away!
[11:33] Wizard Boy
    Stay back! It's a trap!
[11:42] Goblin Slayer
    Count, twenty.
[11:51] Goblin Slayer
    Sixteen left. Are you alive?
[11:54] Wizard Boy
    Y-Yeah.
[11:55] Goblin Slayer
    Not you.
[11:56] Lizardman Priest
    He is referring to the girl over there.
[11:59] Wizard Boy
    She is!
[12:02] Wizard Boy
    She's still alive! Of course she is!
[12:04] Goblin Slayer
    I see.
[12:05] Wizard Boy
    I wanted to save her as quickly as I could...
[12:08] Goblin Slayer
    We also have women on our team.
[12:11] Goblin Slayer
    Two of them.
[12:12] High Elf Archer
    For crying out loud...
[12:13] High Elf Archer
    This is why I hate goblins.
[12:20] Wizard Boy
    B-But...
[12:21] Dwarf Shaman
    No time for yappin'!
    Just take the whole chair with us!
[12:36] Dwarf Shaman
    Hold that side!
[12:37] Wizard Boy
    Okay.
[12:38] High Elf Archer
    Still more coming from the back.
    What do you want to do?
[12:42] Priestess
    U-Um... Uh...
[12:44] Lizardman Priest
    Sir Goblin Slayer.
[12:46] Goblin Slayer
    Yeah. You ready?
[12:52] Goblin Slayer
    Holy Light.
[12:53] Priestess
    Right!
[12:54] Goblin Slayer
    We'll cut straight through.
    I'll leave the vanguard to you.
[12:56] Lizardman Priest
    Understood!
[12:57] Goblin Slayer
    I'll take care of that screaming giant.
[13:00] Wizard Boy
    By yourself?! That's impossible!
    You're dealing with a troll!
[13:04] High Elf Archer
    You dumb boy.
[13:05] High Elf Archer
    This is exactly the kind of
    moment when Orcbolg shines!
[13:09] Priestess
    O merciful Earth Mother, please bless us,
[13:11] Priestess
    the wanderers in the
    darkness, with holy light!
[13:16] Priestess
    Holy Light!
[13:23] Priestess
    Let's go!
[13:33] Goblin Slayer
    A troll?
[13:35] Goblin Slayer
    You're not a goblin.
[13:48] Goblin Slayer
    Bye.
[13:58] Goblin Slayer
    That should've taken care of half of them.
[14:00] Goblin Slayer
    In which case...
[14:04] Goblin Slayer
    That's fifteen.
[14:07] High Elf Archer
    Hey, Orcbolg!
[14:09] High Elf Archer
    I heard some kind of booming
    noise from behind us.
[14:12] Goblin Slayer
    It was an emergency.
    How's it looking in front?
[14:15] High Elf Archer
    Same as always!
[14:17] High Elf Archer
    Hi-yah! Let's go all out!
[14:20] High Elf Archer
    So, do you have a plan?
[14:21] Goblin Slayer
    I do. I always do.
[14:29] Wizard Boy
    We're trapped, damn it!
[14:33] Lizardman Priest
    Now, now, we don't know that for sure.
[14:37] Priestess
    U-Um... Where are Goblin
    Slayer and High Elf Archer?
[14:41] Dwarf Shaman
    They'll catch up soon enough.
[14:44] Dwarf Shaman
    Here.
[14:47] Priestess
    Thank you.
[14:53] Priestess
    We need to treat her wounds at once.
[14:55] Dwarf Shaman
    Nah, you take a breather.
[14:58] Dwarf Shaman
    She's not so injured that
    she could die at any moment.
[15:01] Dwarf Shaman
    You good, lad?
[15:03] Wizard Boy
    I'm fine.
[15:04] Dwarf Shaman
    I see.
[15:11] (Flashback) Wizard Boy
    I bet when you're in trouble, you're shaking
    in your boots and just calling for God.
[15:17] Wizard Boy
    S-So, hey... I'm s—
[15:19] Lizardman Priest
    They're here!
[15:21] High Elf Archer
    Damn it, Orcbolg! That thing's still alive!
[15:24] Goblin Slayer
    I guess it's tougher than I thought.
[15:31] High Elf Archer
    I'm so done with this!
    What the heck is that thing?!
[15:33] High Elf Archer
    I wanted to fight something
    that looks cooler!
[15:36] Dwarf Shaman
    What're we gonna do, Beard-cutter?
[15:38] Goblin Slayer
    I need water.
[15:39] Goblin Slayer
    Can you make some with a spell?
[15:40] Wizard Boy
    There's no point in memorizing
    spells like that.
[15:42] Dwarf Shaman
    I've got some rain!
[15:43] Dwarf Shaman
    Though it'll be a bit
    weak since we're inside.
[15:46] Goblin Slayer
    That's fine.
[15:47] Goblin Slayer
    Also, we need Holy Light one more time.
[15:50] Goblin Slayer
    Can you do it?
[15:53] Priestess
    I-I can!
[15:55] Goblin Slayer
    Good.
[15:59] Priestess
    O merciful Earth Mother, please bless us,
[16:01] Priestess
    the wanderers in the
    darkness, with holy light!
[16:06] Priestess
    Holy Light!
[16:10] Goblin Slayer
    I need that water.
[16:11] Dwarf Shaman
    You got it!
[16:12] Dwarf Shaman
    Go forth, Kelpie. Go boldly!
[16:14] Dwarf Shaman
    From earth to river and sea to sky!
[16:17] Dwarf Shaman
    Call Rain!
[16:29] Goblin Slayer
    Next... is this.
[16:39] Wizard Boy
    Wh-What the? The troll's body is...
[16:48] Goblin Slayer
    It's simple, but not bad.
[16:51] High Elf Archer
    What just happened?
[16:52] Goblin Slayer
    If you quickly cool down
    heated stone, it can break.
[16:56] Goblin Slayer
    That secret formula is sucking up
    the water and that thing's heat,
[16:58] Goblin Slayer
    and freezing it instantly.
[17:00] Goblin Slayer
    Apparently that's how it works.
[17:03] High Elf Archer
    Where the heck did you learn that?
[17:05] Goblin Slayer
    Water Town.
[17:07] Priestess
    Oh! The ice treats?
[17:10] Lizardman Priest
    It seems to be suffering
    from wounds that won't heal.
[17:13] Lizardman Priest
    How unfortunate for it.
[17:16] Goblin Slayer
    Once we finish off that giant,
    inexplicable thing...
[17:20] Goblin Slayer
    We're going to slay all the goblins.
[17:49] Wizard Boy
    I know this happened partially
    because I was careless.
[17:52] Wizard Boy
    I'm still green,
    and this is my responsibility.
[17:55] Wizard Boy
    But...
[17:57] Wizard Boy
    This guy who seemed so blasé
    about fighting the troll,
[18:00] Wizard Boy
    but so delighted about killing the goblins...
[18:05] Wizard Boy
    I...
[18:07] Wizard Boy
    This is the only guy...
[18:11] Wizard Boy
    that I refuse to acknowledge!
[18:15] Dwarf Shaman
    Well, all right, then.
[18:17] Dwarf Shaman
    To the fact that we survived! To that
    monster's head! To that acolyte's future!
[18:22] Dwarf Shaman
    Cheers!
[18:22] High Elf Archer and Lizardman Priest
    Cheers!
[18:26] Lizardman Priest
    Oh, pardon me, waitress!
[18:28] Lizardman Priest
    Could you bring me some cheese-covered
    sausages right away?
[18:32] Waitress
    Sure, you've got it, Mr. Lizardman!
    Your usual!
[18:35] High Elf Archer
    Oh, come on, Orcbolg!
[18:37] High Elf Archer
    Why do you always go silent
    at times like these?
[18:40] Goblin Slayer
    Do I?
[18:41] High Elf Archer
    You do.
[18:42] High Elf Archer
    Go on. You drink, too.
[18:44] Priestess
    I'm, uh... Today isn't really...
[18:47] High Elf Archer
    Oh, come on!
[18:49] High Elf Archer
    You're alive! That's all that matters!
[18:52] High Elf Archer
    No one's gonna be perfect at
    giving orders right off the bat!
[18:56] High Elf Archer
    Also, what's going on with you over there?
[19:01] Lizardman Priest
    Now, cheer up.
[19:04] Lizardman Priest
    You made it back from your first adventure
    alive. That is reason to celebrate.
[19:08] Dwarf Shaman
    That's right, lad!
[19:10] Dwarf Shaman
    Not many get to face a troll
    on their first adventure!
[19:16] Wizard Boy
    If that troll hadn't shown up...
[19:18] Wizard Boy
    Even I could've handled those goblins...
[19:21] Priestess
    I also wish that I had done better...
[19:25] Lizardman Priest
    Such admirable spirit!
[19:27] Lizardman Priest
    Nothing can be done until
    you put your mind to it!
[19:29] Lizardman Priest
    They say that progress only
    happens one step at a time.
[19:33] Lizardman Priest
    My ancestor, the fearsome dragon,
[19:36] Lizardman Priest
    evolved from a four-legged
    creature in the swamplands.
[19:40] Priestess
    Uh-huh...
[19:42] High Elf Archer
    Hey, by the way...
[19:44] High Elf Archer
    What happened to that acolyte?
[19:47] Priestess
    Oh, right. Her wounds
    were treated, and she said
[19:50] Priestess
    she'll think about what to
    do next once she recovers.
[19:53] High Elf Archer
    I see. Well, that's good.
[19:54] High Elf Archer
    That might be a weird thing to say,
[19:56] High Elf Archer
    but you can always move on
    as long as you're alive.
[19:59] Wizard Boy
    Being alive isn't going to solve everything.
[20:02] Wizard Boy
    She lost to goblins. People are
    obviously going to mock her.
[20:06] High Elf Archer
    Wh-What's your problem? That's not—
[20:10] Wizard Boy
    That's what happened to my older sister!
[20:13] Wizard Boy
    They kept saying that she lost to goblins!
    That she was killed by goblins!
[20:17] Goblin Slayer
    Older sister? You have an older sister?
[20:19] Wizard Boy
    Yeah, I did!
[20:21] Wizard Boy
    If she hadn't been stabbed by
    goblins with a poisoned dagger,
[20:24] Wizard Boy
    she'd still be here right now!
[20:25] Priestess
    What?
[20:34] Wizard Boy
    My sister was amazing!
[20:36] Wizard Boy
    She would've beaten them
    if they hadn't used poison!
[20:41] Wizard Boy
    And yet... All those guys at the academy...
    kept running their mouths...
[20:47] Wizard Boy
    They can...
[20:48] Wizard Boy
    They can all just die...
[20:52] Goblin Slayer
    I see.
[20:56] Goblin Slayer
    I'm heading back.
[20:58] Goblin Slayer
    Someone get him a room somewhere.
    It doesn't matter where.
[21:03] Dwarf Shaman
    Yup, you got it.
[21:06] Priestess
    Goblin Slayer.
[21:09] Goblin Slayer
    Get some rest.
[21:13] High Elf Archer
    Hey, Orcbolg! What are we doing tomorrow?
[21:17] Goblin Slayer
    I don't know.
[21:20] Spearman
    And then... Oh, hey! It's Goblin Slayer!
[21:24] Spearman
    You bastard. Don't just go
    popping up outta nowhere.
[21:26] Spearman
    You'll scare—
[21:30] Spearman
    What's wrong? Did something happen?
[21:32] Goblin Slayer
    It's nothing.
[21:48] Goblin Slayer
    Did you think you'd done something?
[21:51] Goblin Slayer
    That you had actually
    accomplished anything?
[21:55] Goblin Slayer
    You fool.
SIGN    Next Time
SIGN    The Training Grounds on the Outskirts of Town