E9 - Saurva Can't Catch a Break...

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:05] Sau
    That Jahy...
[00:07] Sau
    Curse her for overstepping me,
     the Magnificent Saurva,
[00:09] Sau
    to become the Dark Realm's
     second-in-command.
[00:13] Sau
    Ever since coming to the human world,
[00:15] Sau
    I've waited numerous times
    for the chance to defeat her.
[00:18] Sau
    So many plans I've made and carried out...
[00:25] Sau
    Yet so far, they've all ended in failure,
[00:28] Sau
    only causing me more stress and exhaustion.
[00:32] Sau
    That's why, today, I've decided...
[00:34] Sign
    Bath
[00:36] Sau
    to refresh myself at the bathhouse!
[00:39] Sau
    I even splurged on nice shampoo.
[00:42] Sau
    Just for now, I'll forget all about Jahy
    and really focus on rejuvenating!
[01:02] txt
    fad(170,1)\pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H83327B&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[01:03] txt
    pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H08F922&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[01:04] txt
    pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H2CABD4&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[01:04] txt
    pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&HCF820C&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[01:05] txt
    pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&HC3DC18&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[01:06] txt
    fad(1,220)\pos(311.273,66.364)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H8B3983&}The Great Jahy Will NOT Be Defeated!
[02:18] titl
    Restoration Plan No. 9
    
    Saurva Can't Catch A Break...
[02:23] Sign
    Adults 500 yen
    Students 400 yen
    Children 300 yen
[02:23] Left
    Women
[02:23] Right
    Men
[02:40] Sau
    J-Jahy?!
[02:43] Jah
    Ooh, what's this?
    Can't stand seeing me steal your sister?
[02:46] Land
    You...
[02:47] Sau
    Oh, no! And she's with that punk?!
[02:48] ---
    Pay your rent...
[02:53] Land
    Says the person enjoying
    being bathed like a child!
[02:59] Sau
    Damnation! Curse you, Jahy!
[03:02] Sau
    Does she intend to take even
    my place of relaxation from me?!
[03:05] Sau
    What a monster!
[03:09] Sau
    This is bad.
[03:10] Sau
    If she catches me like this,
    I won't last a second!
[03:18] Sau
    Should I run?
[03:20] Sau
    Wait, no. Luckily, it doesn't
    seem she's noticed me yet.
[03:25] Sau
    I should just quickly slip in while I can.
[03:29] Sau
    After all, I brought the best of the best
    with this super nice shampoo!
[03:35] Sau
    The price tag was luxurious,
    but so is the scent.
[03:39] Sau
    I bet this'll pick me up,
    even under the circumstances.
[04:05] Sau
    J-Jahy?!
[04:08] Sau
    Wh-When the hell
    did she get right next to me?
[04:10] Jah
    How does this shampoo smell so good?!
[04:13] Jah
    It's so silky to the touch, too.
[04:15] Sau
    And she's using a ton of it!
[04:17] Jah
    It's complimentary, too!
[04:19] Jah
    This bathhouse is pretty great.
[04:21] Sau
    Hey, that's my shampoo!
    And it was super expensive!
[04:25] Sau
    But if I say something, I'll be found out...
[04:27] Sau
    What should I do?
[04:29] Sau
    No, this isn't the time to overthink things.
[04:33] Jah
    Huh?
[04:35] Sau
    I did it. I prevented the worst—
[04:38] Sau
    How is so much gone?!
[04:40] Sau
    That monster!
[04:41] Sau
    I haven't even had a chance to use it yet!
[04:45] Sau
    Jahy, you...!
[04:49] Sau
    It was like this in the Dark Realm, too.
[04:51] Sau
    You've been always getting in my way!
[04:54] Sau
    Will you ever be done making me miserable?!
[04:58] Sau
    Well, we're both unarmed.
[05:00] Sau
    It's time to take advantage
    of her carelessness.
[05:04] Sau
    Die, Jahy!
[05:14] Boss
    Are you okay?
[05:18] Sau
    Y-Yes.
[05:22] Boss
    My... That's a rather dangerous
     place for a bar of soap.
[05:28] Boss
    It's still slippery there. Be careful, okay?
[05:33] Sau
    Okay...
[06:05] Sau
    That felt so good!
[06:09] Sau
    And I got to see the lady from the pub, too.
[06:18] Sau
    She was so soft...
[06:26] Sau
    I'll come again.
[06:29] Nar
    Despite everything, Saurva really
    enjoyed her trip to the bathhouse.
SIGN    Craft
     Pub Maou.
[06:41] Jah
    Thank you for waiting!
[06:45] Jah
    Please enjoy!
[06:47] Guy
    She's in a better mood than usual.
[06:49] Guy2
    Right? Maybe something good happened to her.
[06:52] Jah
    Oops! I can't let myself get too giddy.
[06:55] Jah
    Today's finally the day.
[06:59] Jah
    After enduring such hardship
    and working like a horse...
[07:02] Jah
    It's payday!
[07:04] Boss
    Here. It's this month's pay.
[07:06] Boss
    Thanks for everything.
[07:08] Jah
    Heck yeah!
[07:10] Boss
    Make sure not to squander it, you hear?
[07:14] Jah
    Sorry, but new month, new me.
    I'm not the same as I used to be.
[07:18] txt
    Salary
[07:19] Jah
    That's right! I've even sworn to
    forego my favorite thing, meat.
[07:23] Jah
    The reason for that is...
SIGN    Hyper Home Center
[07:27] Jah
    Today, I've come to this huge-ass store to
    buy a weapon to take down that magical girl!
[07:36] Jah
    Now, magical girl, how shall I humiliate you?
[07:42] Jah
    This place sure is big, though...
[07:44] Jah
    I'm not even sure where to start.
[07:47] guy
    Take a look at this!
[07:49] guy
    That pesky grease clinging
    to your pans... is gone!
[07:55] guy
    A five-pack of these amazing
    sponges is only 1,000 yen!
[08:01] Jah
    Boring.
[08:03] guy
    But that's not all!
[08:04] guy
    I'll throw in three extra sponges
     for the same great price!
[08:07] guy
    Today only!
[08:09] guy
    That's quite a bargain.
[08:19] Jah
    That was an unexpected boon.
[08:21] Jah
    I'll give one to my boss.
[08:24] wom
    We all know how tough it can
    be to cut up a pineapple.
[08:27] wom
    But just have a look at this.
[08:29] wom
    See? This makes prepping
     pineapple a piece of cake!
[08:34] Jah
    Boring.
[08:36] Jah
    Who would ever buy that
    kind of useless stuff?
[08:38] wom
    Can I interest you in a sample?
[08:48] Jah
    That's so good!
[08:50] Jah
    With this, I could easily fix
    delicious pineapple every day!
[08:57] Jah
    That was a great find.
[08:59] Jah
    I'll let the landlord
    have some pineapple, too.
[09:03] Jah
    Huh? Financial fortune... rocks?
[09:06] Jah
    "Wear this and..."
[09:08] txt
    Increase your financial fortunes!!
[09:08] txt
    POWER STONE
[09:08] txt
    A lucky charm to attract money!
[09:08] txt
    You're sure to get
    the things you want!
[09:09] Jah
    I'm sure to get the things I want?!
[09:14] Jah
    In other words, if I put this on,
    finding mana crystals will be a cinch?!
[09:23] Jah
    This is exactly what I need!
[09:33] Jah
    Wow, what a lucky day!
[09:35] Jah
    I'm finding all the bargains.
[09:39] Jah
    Now then, all that's left is to find something
    to use against that magical girl.
[09:43] Jah
    All right, where's their weapon section?
[09:47] Jah
    Hmm, they do say the quality
    of your sleep is important.
[09:50] Jah
    It's good for your skin and saves water?!
[09:53] txt
    an6\fnArial\b1\i1\c&HEDE5B2&\3c&HFCFCFE&\4c&HADE0EB&}ULTRA BRILLIANT COATING*
    Food comes off easily
    No oil needed
[09:54] Jah
    This can't be real!
[09:55] Jah
    If it is, then what has
    all my suffering been for?!
[09:59] box
    Memory Foam
    Urethane foam chip pillow
[09:59] pan
    Ultra
    Brilliant Coating
     Frying Pan
[10:06] Jah
    Here we are!
[10:12] Jah
    Hrm, I don't feel like this
     packs enough punch...
[10:17] Jah
    Can I even stab someone with this?
[10:25] Jah
    That's it!
[10:43] Mag
    Is that all you've got?
[10:45] Jah
    Shut up!
[10:47] Jah
    Take this!
[11:18] Jah
    This is just a stick that lights up!
[11:21] Jah
    These here!
[11:22] Jah
    This, too!
[11:23] Jah
    And those!
[11:24] Jah
    All of this!
[11:25] Jah
    It's all useless!
[11:27] Jah
    Why did I buy this crap?!
[11:33] Jah
    Give me my hard-earned money back!
[11:41] Boss
    Wow, this works really well!
[11:45] Boss
    Are you sure I can have them?
[11:47] Jah
    Yeah.
[11:47] boss
    Thank you, Hy-chan!
[11:50] Nar
    The boss was happy!
[11:54] titl
    The Great Jahy
[11:54] titl
    The Great Jahy
[11:55] titl
    fad(150,1)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H83327B&\pos(319.889,278.671)}Will NOT Be Defeated!
[11:55] titl
    fad(150,1)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H83327B&\pos(319.889,278.671)}Will NOT Be Defeated!
[11:56] titl
    fad(150,1)\fnArial\fs28\b1\shad0\bord1\3c&HEEF8F7&\c&H83327B&\pos(319.889,278.671)}Will NOT Be Defeated!
[12:06] Jah
    All right.
[12:08] Jah
    Bring it on if you dare, magical girl.
[12:11] Jah
    I'll turn the tables on you...
[12:13] Jah
    with this homemade,
    expertly cooked up birdlime trap!
[12:18] Jah
    If she tries to barge in here,
    she'll get completely stuck!
[12:23] Jah
    And that's when I hit her with my magic!
[12:28] Jah
    Wait...
[12:29] Jah
    With her monstrous strength,
    she could easily get out of this trap.
[12:35] Jah
    There's also no guarantee she'll
    try to come through the front door.
[12:39] Jah
    She might come in the window...
[12:43] Jah
    If that's the case, then here! Take this!
[12:48] Jah
    And that's not all!
    I have offensive traps, too!
SIGN    Gong
SIGN    Dong
[12:53] Jah
    How's that?
[12:55] Jah
    I'll beat her for sure.
[12:57] Jah
    Now all I've got to do
    is sit tight until she comes.
[13:01] Jah
    Look at me! I'm such a strategist.
[13:32] Jah
    She's not coming...
[13:49] Jah
    I'm getting hungry.
    Guess I'll have to take care of that.
[13:52] Jah
    Time to go shopping for some dinner.
[14:21] Jah
    Now I've done it!
[14:25] Jah
    This can't be happening!
[14:26] Jah
    Does this mean I can't leave here*
    until the magical girl shows up?!
[14:30] Jah
    What if... she never comes?
[14:33] skel
    Jaheek...
[14:36] Jah
    No, no, no, no....
[14:45] Jah
    Get over here already, magical girl!
[14:46] Jah
    Right now!
[14:47] Jah
    Right this instant!
[14:48] Jah
    You want mana crystals? I've got one!
[14:50] Jah
    Come!
[14:52] Jah
    Come!
[14:54] Land
    Hey, Ja-ko. I'm here for the rent.
[14:58] Jah
    Not you!
[15:03] Land
    Hey, what the hell is this?
[15:04] Jah
    Oh, no! The trap!
[15:06] Jah
    Landlord!
[15:09] Jah
    If that washbasin hits her,
    she's really going to lose it!
[15:12] Jah
    I have to... distract her somehow!
[15:15] Jah
    Somehow!
[15:16] Jah
    This is the only way!
[15:24] Land
    Ja-ko?!
[15:27] Land
    Hey, Ja-ko? Are you okay? Hey!
[15:33] Jah
    Landlord... are you okay?
[15:36] Land
    Yeah, I'm fine, but what's all this?
[15:39] Jah
    It's a trap I made.
[15:41] Land
    Wha?
[15:42] Jah
    I've changed, huh?
[15:44] Jah
    To think that a day would come when I
    protect a human, and that human is you...
[15:50] Jah
    So forgive me.
[15:52] Land
    Uh, you set this up
    and took that hit yourself.
[15:59] Land
    Defense against the magical girl?
[16:01] Jah
    Yes. You never know when she's
    going to come attack me again.
[16:05] Land
    Well, if that's what this is about,
    you should've come talked to me.
[16:09] Land
    I'm the landlord. It's my
    job to protect my tenants.
[16:17] Jah
    You? Protect me?
[16:19] Jah
    I'm second-in-command of the Dark Realm!
[16:21] Land
    How are you this insufferable?!
[16:25] Nar
    Unbeknownst to the Great Jahy,
[16:26] Nar
    security measures around the apartment
    were tightened that day.
[16:40] Jah
    Challenging me with your pathetic strength?
    Don't make me laugh.
[16:44] Jah
    I'll show you the power of
    the Dark Realm's second-in-command!
[16:50] Land
    It's rent time. Pay up.
[16:52] dog
    Woof! Woof, woof! Woof! Woof, woof! Woof!
[17:04] Sau
    Damn it!
[17:10] Sau
    I need to move on to my new strategy...
[17:15] Sau
    But I'm so frightened of Jahy that I'm
    having nightmares about her every night!
[17:20] Sau
    How can she scare me so?
[17:25] Sau
    She's terrifying!
[17:30] Sau
    That hair...
[17:33] Sau
    It can't be!
[17:34] Jah
    Unhand that!
[17:36] Sau
    Jahy?!
[17:39] Sau
    No, it's not...
    It's just a kid with her hairstyle.
[17:44] Sau
    Jahy's well endowed, sexy, and dignified.
[17:48] Sau
    She has an aura!
[17:50] Jah
    Give it back, you bastards!
[17:52] Sau
    This kid isn't giving me any of those vibes.
[17:56] Sau
    Besides, there's no way that Jahy...
[17:57] Sau
    could be so adorable!
[18:00] Sau
    It's someone else!
[18:04] Sau
    You there! Are you all right?
[18:07] Jah
    You...
[18:10] Jah
    Who the hell are you?!
[18:12] Sau
    I-I'm just a passerby.
[18:14] Jah
    Stay back!
[18:16] Jah
    This is a fight to death over
    lunch between me and the crows!
[18:21] Sau
    Wh-What a strong child!
[18:23] Sau
    She's so small yet fighting so fiercely!
[18:27] Sau
    Quite unlike me!
[18:29] Sau
    I'll save you!
[18:32] Sau
    Come, crows! I am your foe now!
[18:36] Jah
    What are you doing?!
[18:40] Jah
    No! That was my lunch!
[18:46] Jah
    This is all your fault, you maggot.
[18:50] Sau
    M-Maggot?
[18:55] txt
    Salmon
[18:55] txt
    120 yen
[18:58] Sau
    I'm sorry. Please accept this as an apology.
[19:01] Jah
    Hmph! I'm not so down on my luck
     that I'd accept handouts from strangers.
[19:06] Sau
    I see.
[19:08] Sau
    You're tough, aren't you?
[19:10] Jah
    Guess so.
[19:12] Sau
    What do I have to do
    to become as tough as you?
[19:18] Jah
    What's that? You want to be tough?
[19:22] Sau
    Yeah.
[19:25] Sau
    There's someone I really want to defeat.
[19:29] Jah
    That so?
[19:31] Sau
    But I kept screwing up
    and now I've lost faith in myself.
[19:37] Jah
    I hear you.
[19:41] Jah
    Even for me, there are times
    when things don't work out.
[19:44] Jah
    But I never ever give up!
[19:47] Jah
    Even when things don't go my way,
    again and again... I keep fighting!
[19:51] Jah
    So you can't give up either.
[19:54] Jah
    If you keep at it, you'll
    beat them one day for sure!
[20:07] Sau
    Yeah, I will!
[20:10] Sau
    Thank you! I'll do my best...
[20:13] Jah
    Don't cry.
[20:15] Jah
    You can do it.
[20:17] Sau
    That reminds me! What's your na—
[20:19] Jah
    Waugh! It's time for work!
[20:24] Sau
    W-Wait!
[20:27] Sau
    She's gone...
[20:30] Sau
    Again and again, huh?
[20:33] Sau
    She's right!
[20:34] Sau
    What are two measly failures?!
[20:36] Sau
    No matter how many times
    it takes, I'll keep going!
[20:41] Sau
    Thank you...
[20:47] Sau
    strong girl!
[20:55] Sau
    I've found you at last...
[20:57] Sau
    I've found you at last.
[21:00] Sau
    I've found you... at last!
[21:03] Sau
    Today you meet your doom!
[21:05] Sau
    I've found you at last!
[21:07] Jah
    What the hell is going on?!
[21:14] Jah
    It's a regular weekday!
[21:16] Jah
    Why is it so damn busy?!
[21:18] Boss
    Hy-chan, this is for table 2.
[21:21] Boss
    Please get it out quickly.
[21:22] Guy
    Can I get another warm towel?
[21:24] guy
    Another beer, please!
[21:25] guy
    Me, too!
[21:27] Jah
    I heard you!
[21:30] Boss
    Please take care of table 3, as well.
[21:31] Jah
    H-H-Hold it! I haven't even gotten
     the stuff to table 2 yet!
[21:38] txt
    Craft Pub Maou.
[21:45] Sau
    M-Maybe next time...
[21:51] Sau
    Let's do that.
[21:53] Nar
    Not realizing that Jahy was the
    very girl who'd encouraged her,
[21:57] Nar
    Saurva lost to Jahy again today...
    unbeknownst to everyone.
[23:34] Prev
    Next Time
[23:34] Prev
    The Magical Girl Will Not Lose!