E3 - Deadlock! Classmates

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] ---
    Greetings to my beloved Fatherland,
[00:03] ---
    and to all its neighboring countries.
[00:06] ---
    I am
[00:08] ---
    currently engaged in what
    could be called "academic pursuits."
[01:41] ---
    "Episode 3: Deadlock! Classmates"
[01:45] ---
    Yes, yes, this is what I wanted!
[01:48] ---
    A stable, civilized life in the rear echelon.
[01:52] ---
    And now, I am engaged in school activities
    that have nothing to do with war.
[01:57] ---
    However...
[02:00] ---
    Put in words, it seems so peaceful,
    but as a picture, what the hell is going on?
[02:04] ---
    Even the battlefield makes more sense!
[02:07] ---
    And General Rudersdorf is the principal,
[02:10] ---
    and General Zettour the vice-principal?
    Is that some kind of joke?
[02:13] ---
    And my teacher is some weird clown guy...
[02:16] ---
    This world is even more misbegotten
    than that insane place I was sent to!
[02:23] ---
    However...
[02:26] ---
    Your name was Albedo, right?
[02:29] ---
    Don't even tryyy.
[02:32] ---
    You have no right to give me orders.
[02:35] ---
    You all need to get along here,
[02:38] ---
    or we'll have a problemmm.
[02:42] ---
    And maybe you'll have a problem, toooo!
[02:47] ---
    I see. So that's how it is?
[02:50] ---
    What's how it is?
[02:52] ---
    The man before us,
    this Mr. Roswaal, is implying
[02:55] ---
    that any acts which would endanger
    our "school life" are strictly forbidden.
[03:00] ---
    I'm afraid what you're saying is beyond me.
[03:04] ---
    I'll give you a simple explanation.
[03:05] ---
    Assume that we have been trapped in
    this world and forced to become students.
[03:11] ---
    Trapped?
[03:13] ---
    Is that right?
[03:14] ---
    Our liege understood this from the start.
[03:17] ---
    Not only did I not know it from
    the start, I didn't know it at all!
[03:22] ---
    An astute observation, Demiurge.
[03:25] ---
    It's "that thing," is it not?
[03:26] ---
    Indeed, it is that thing.
[03:28] ---
    That thing!
[03:30] ---
    That thing, indeed!
[03:32] ---
    What thing?!
[03:33] ---
    The others, that is, everyone but
    you and me, do not understand.
[03:37] ---
    So please explain it to them
    in very clear terms.
[03:40] ---
    As you wish, my liege.
[03:42] ---
    We may assume that this world is
    covered in some sort of barrier
[03:47] ---
    which exerts a compulsory
    effect on those within it.
[03:49] ---
    The details elude us for the moment,
    but one likely assumption is that any act
[03:52] ---
    that threatens our "school life"
    may render us unable to return home.
[03:59] ---
    Oh, so that's it!
[04:00] ---
    That is why you demanded
    we refrain from combat.
[04:04] ---
    Y-Yes, that's correct.
[04:06] ---
    Well done, Demiurge!
[04:09] ---
    Not at all. I apologize for taking
    so long to notice, my liege.
[04:12] ---
    Nonsense. You are truly
    the wisest in all of Nazarick.
[04:17] ---
    What that Demiurge guy says makes sense.
[04:22] ---
    It looks like for now, I'll just
    have to accept things as they are.
[04:26] ---
    Major! Major Degurechaff!
[04:29] ---
    They're passing this around.
[04:32] ---
    "A Way To Be Closer Friends -
    1st Annual Hidden Talent Show"
[04:32] ---
    What's this?
[04:33] ---
    "Our class will be holding
    a talent show this week
[04:36] ---
    to allow us to get to
    know each other better"?
[04:40] ---
    What is this?
[04:43] ---
    Hey, Subaru.
[04:45] ---
    What kinds of things are you
    supposed to do for a talent show?
[04:49] ---
    Hmm...
[04:51] ---
    Simple party tricks and stuff?
[04:54] ---
    Party tricks?
[04:55] ---
    Yes. Just show everybody a talent
    you have that others don't.
[05:01] ---
    Barusu, you have a talent for
    failing at life. Just show them that.
[05:04] ---
    That's really hurtful.
[05:07] ---
    What do you want from me?
    It's the only talent you have.
[05:10] ---
    You sure about that?
[05:12] ---
    I may have a secret talent
    that will amaze everyone!
[05:16] ---
    --You do not.
    --Instant answer?!
[05:17] ---
    But you know, if Subaru does
    have some amazing talent,
[05:21] ---
    I'd love to see it.
[05:23] ---
    Don't talk with your mouth full.
[05:26] ---
    I would love to see your secret talent.
[05:30] ---
    I'm curious about your secret talent, too.
[05:34] ---
    Emilia! Rem!
[05:36] ---
    I promise I'll show you something
    that will knock your socks off!
[05:42] ---
    And Puck, don't eat so much!
[05:45] ---
    A talent show, I suppose?
[05:48] ---
    Hmph! How stupid.
[05:56] ---
    What are you staring at?
[05:58] ---
    Oh, I apologize, little girl.
[06:01] ---
    I'm not a little girl. Don't call me one.
[06:05] ---
    Now, will you get lost?
[06:07] ---
    Oh, excuse us, little girl.
[06:12] ---
    You're all equally infuriating!
[06:20] ---
    Lt. Koenig. Lt. Neumann.
[06:22] ---
    Did you do something to
    upset that little girl?
[06:24] ---
    No, nothing, sir.
[06:26] ---
    Are you sure?
[06:28] ---
    She seemed extremely upset.
[06:29] ---
    Little girls are always a handful, Captain.
[06:34] ---
    Just like a certain battalion commander?
[06:37] ---
    Yup!
[06:39] ---
    I'll tell her you said
    that in my next report.
[06:43] ---
    Please don't.
[06:44] ---
    She'll blast us into ash.
[06:46] ---
    Yup.
[06:50] ---
    What is Roswaal thinking?
[06:53] ---
    "Teacher's Office"
[06:53] ---
    I'll grab him and make him explain!
[06:56] ---
    Is Roswaal here, I suppose?
[06:59] ---
    Um... your name is Beatrice, right?
[07:04] ---
    Correct.
[07:05] ---
    And who might you be?
[07:07] ---
    Um, first, you shouldn't
    talk to your teachers like that...
[07:11] ---
    I haven't accepted you as my teacher.
[07:13] ---
    I'm here to talk to Roswaal, I suppose.
[07:16] ---
    I'm not here to speak to you.
[07:20] ---
    Beatrice, you mustn't
    talk to your teacher like that.
[07:25] ---
    You're all students here at this school.
[07:28] ---
    You're here to experience school life.
[07:31] ---
    So
[07:33] ---
    you need to act like students.
[07:38] ---
    Understand?
[07:40] ---
    Fine, I suppose.
[07:43] ---
    Please tell Mr. Roswaal that Betty was here.
[07:47] ---
    All right.
[07:48] ---
    I'll make sure he gets the message.
[07:50] ---
    Now, lunch break is almost over.
[07:53] ---
    Return to your classroom.
[07:55] ---
    I know that. You don't need
    to tell me, I suppose.
[07:57] ---
    Hmph!
[08:03] ---
    Did I come on too strong?
[08:06] ---
    But you can't let your guard down around
    someone just because they're a little girl.
[08:10] ---
    I know for a fact...
[08:11] ---
    ...that there are demons in this world
    who wear the skin of little girls!
[08:17] ---
    Do you have a cold?
[08:18] ---
    No...
[08:19] ---
    Goddess bless you!
[08:22] ---
    What's her deal?
[08:23] ---
    I couldn't say...
[08:24] ---
    Hey, show some gratitude!
[08:26] ---
    Or did you not understand
    what I was doing there?
[08:29] ---
    So get this. When somebody sneezes
    you say, "God bless you!"
[08:32] ---
    --But I'm a goddess so I say,
    "Goddess bless you!"
[08:32] ---
    --God bless you? God... god...
[08:34] ---
    --Where did you learn that?
[08:36] ---
    --In class!
[08:36] ---
    --The word that upsets
    me more than any other.
[08:37] ---
    --Unlike you, I actually pay attention
    in class! Aren't I the greatest?
[08:40] ---
    --It reminds me of that bastard "Being X."
[08:46] ---
    Is he...
[08:48] ---
    Is he perhaps...
[08:52] ---
    "Class 2"
[08:59] ---
    We need to talk.
[09:00] ---
    Huh? She wants to talk to me?
[09:02] ---
    When classes are over,
    come to the park near the school.
[09:06] ---
    I'm more than willing to talk here.
[09:09] ---
    No. I want to talk in private.
[09:13] ---
    You want to talk to Lord Ains...
    my Ains... in private?
[09:19] ---
    Calm down, Albedo!
[09:20] ---
    Impossible!
[09:23] ---
    If this girl wants to seduce you,
    I'll slap her silly!
[09:28] ---
    --"Slap her silly"? I thought only Emilia
    talked like that anymore...
[09:28] ---
    --Squash her flat! Pulverize her!
[09:32] ---
    Albedo, you're talking to a child.
[09:34] ---
    Age, gender, and race don't matter.
[09:37] ---
    Your charm goes far beyond those things!
[09:41] ---
    But we've only just met.
[09:42] ---
    It doesn't matter how long
    you've known someone!
[09:45] ---
    Rem? Rem?
[09:47] ---
    When you're falling in love, it doesn't matter
    how long you've known someone!
[09:52] ---
    You get it!
[09:54] ---
    That's right.
[09:55] ---
    I've barely known Subaru
    for any length of time at all.
[09:57] ---
    I don't know who "Subaru" is, but...
[10:00] ---
    This is Subaru.
[10:02] ---
    He's very important to me.
[10:03] ---
    It's amazing how you don't
    hesitate to say that at all...
[10:07] ---
    I think you and I are going to get along.
[10:09] ---
    --Sorry for not introducing
    myself sooner. My name is Rem.
[10:10] ---
    --Now works, too.
[10:11] ---
    --I'm Albedo. I'm sure we'll
    get along splendidly.
[10:12] ---
    --Very well.
[10:14] ---
    Yes, nice to meet you!
[10:18] ---
    Lord Ains is gone!
[10:22] ---
    Move!
[10:23] ---
    Class is about to begin!
[10:29] ---
    Lord Ains!
[10:31] ---
    
[10:33] ---