E2 - Head Paladin

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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:02] Shera
    It's coming into view!
[00:05] Shera
    Rem, we've arrived!
[00:07] Shera
    Rem!
[00:08] Rem
    Oh, so that's...
[00:14] Shera
    Overboard! Do it overboard!
[00:14] Diablo
    Rem really can't handle traveling
    in vehicles, can she?
[00:18] Lumachina
    God—
[00:19] Lumachina
    I mean, Diablo-sama.
[00:21] Lumachina
    We've managed to arrive safely.
[00:23] Lumachina
    Thank you so very much.
[00:25] Diablo
    Hmph. A journey such as
    this is nothing to me.
[00:31] Diablo
    Though, honestly, it took us
    two whole weeks to get here.
[00:35] Diablo
    We got lost...
[00:38] Diablo
    and got caught in storms, too!
[00:41] Diablo
    Well, at any rate...
[00:45] Diablo
    That's Zircon Tower City, huh?
SIGN    Episode 2 "Head Paladin"
[02:22] Shera
    I'm starving!
[02:24] Shera
    Hey, let's get something to eat!
[02:27] Rem
    There you go again.
[02:28] Rem
    Our priority right now is escorting
    Lumachina safely to Batutta.
[02:33] Shera
    Aww!
[02:35] Rem
    Just bear with it, you starving elf.
[02:37] Rem
    That aside, this city...
[02:40] Shera
    It's not very lively, is it?
[02:45] Mother
    Please, heal my child!
[02:47] Diablo
    Man, it's hot.
[02:49] Horn
    Are you an adventurer?
[02:51] Diablo
    What do you want, kid?
[02:52] Horn
    Are you interested in taking on the new
    dungeon that was recently discovered?
[02:56] Horn
    How about it?
[02:57] Horn
    I can introduce you to a dungeon
    guide and a master lock-picker...
[03:02] Horn
    And that would be me, Horn!
[03:05] Diablo
    Oh? What kind of dungeon is it?
[03:07] Horn
    It's incredible, right from the entrance.
[03:10] Horn
    There are lion statues that
    attack you right at the gate!
[03:13] Diablo
    What was that?!
[03:14] Horn
    Huh?
[03:16] Diablo
    This dungeon has 13 floors, does it not?
[03:19] Horn
    I-I wouldn't know that.
[03:22] Horn
    No one's been able to make
    it past the third floor.
[03:24] Diablo
    On the third floor, you should have to
    defeat the different-colored slimes
[03:28] ---
    in order to make the key
    to the fourth floor appear!
[03:31] Horn
    Is that true?!
[03:32] Horn
    There were a lot of different-colored
    slimes wandering around there.
[03:36] Diablo
    I knew it! It really is my dungeon!
[03:39] Horn
    Hey, who are you?
[03:43] Diablo
    I am the Demon—
[03:44] Lumachina
    No!
[03:45] Lumachina
    I cannot stand by and watch this!
[03:47] Diablo
    What?! She got into trouble?!
[03:50] Lumachina
    You're kicking aside this
    poor woman seeking help.
[03:53] Shera
    What were you going to
    do if you hurt her baby?!
[03:56] Paladin
    Who are you people?
[03:59] Mother
    P-Please, heal my child!
[04:02] Paladin
    If you need the aid of a priest,
    get in line and pay the donation!
[04:08] Horn
    This is bad, mister!
[04:09] Horn
    He's with the Paladin Brigade!
[04:11] Diablo
    Paladin... Brigade?
[04:13] Diablo
    What do you mean, "Brigade"?
[04:15] Horn
    Subordinates of the Paladins
    and soldiers of the Church.
[04:18] Horn
    At any rate, they're violent men.
[04:21] Diablo
    Oh?
[04:23] Diablo
    We came here to seek
    Head Paladin Batutta's aid,
[04:26] Diablo
    but if his men are like that...
[04:28] Lumachina
    It's written in the holy scripture.
[04:30] Lumachina
    All people are—
[04:31] Paladin
    Shut up, you know-it-all!
[04:33] Lumachina
    Listen to me!
[04:35] Diablo
    People are after her life.
[04:37] Diablo
    I was hoping she wouldn't
    cause any trouble,
[04:37] Lumachina
    All people are born with sin,
[04:40] Diablo
    but her desire to protect the weak is...
[04:41] Lumachina
    and by offering our prayers to God...
[04:45] Paladin
    A mere adventurer like you
[04:47] ---
    shouldn't try to lecture me,
    a great member of the Paladin Brigade!
[05:04] Diablo
    What a trifling nobody.
[05:06] Lumachina
    Diablo-sama...
[05:08] Shera
    Yeah, serves him right!
[05:11] Diablo
    You there, woman. What is this about healing?
[05:14] Mother
    W-Well, my child...
[05:21] Diablo
    These marks...
[05:23] Diablo
    This was in the game, too.
[05:26] Diablo
    It's the Death Knell Disease!
[05:27] Lumachina
    Death Knell Disease?
[05:30] Mother
    It's an epidemic.
[05:32] Mother
    Once there are nine of these marks,
[05:35] Mother
    h-he'll die!
[05:37] Rem
    How do you cure it?
[05:39] Mother
    It can be healed by receiving a
    miracle from a priest, but...
[05:43] Lumachina
    Then we should hurry to the church!
[05:46] Mother
    It's no use.
[05:49] Horn
    It's money.
[05:51] Horn
    Those at the church demand a donation of
    an incredible sum to perform the miracle.
[05:56] Lumachina
    How could they?
[05:58] Lumachina
    A young child's life is at stake!
[06:01] Horn
    That's just how it is in this city.
[06:12] Lumachina
    I will cure him.
[06:14] Horn
    Huh?!
[06:14] Horn
    It's not that simple!
[06:17] Lumachina
    God will protect me.
[06:20] Lumachina
    Isn't that right?
[06:22] Diablo
    I'm not God...
[06:25] Diablo
    I know you can do it.
[06:28] Lumachina
    Diablo-sama...
[06:31] Lumachina
    Yes!
[06:33] Lumachina
    Now, everyone...
[06:35] Lumachina
    Let's all pray together.
[06:38] Lumachina
    Oh, God who art in Heaven,
[06:41] Lumachina
    please hear the voices of those
    who seek your salvation.
[06:48] Lumachina
    Please heal this child stricken
    with this foul disease.
[07:00] Lumachina
    Please grant your generous mercy
    to this child for his sins,
[07:06] Lumachina
    and forgive him.
[07:09] Lumachina
    Grant him mercy.
[07:12] Lumachina
    Forgive him.
[07:16] Lumachina
    Grant him mercy.
[07:19] Lumachina
    Forgive him.
[07:22] Diablo
    This is tremendous magical energy, all right.
[07:26] Diablo
    The marks are fading?
[07:32] Baby
    Mama! Mama!
[07:34] Mother
    Oh! My boy! My boy!
[07:40] Mother
    Oh, thank you so much!
[07:44] Lumachina
    I'm glad, truly.
[07:46] Rem
    Impressive.
[07:48] Shera
    Yeah, that was great!
[07:50] Horn
    Incredible!
[07:51] Horn
    You really healed that child?
[07:54] Horn
    It's almost like you're God!
[07:57] Diablo
    Being able to do that much is expected.
[08:00] Horn
    What's the matter?
[08:03] Shera
    What is this?
[08:05] Rem
    Diablo?
[08:10] Lookout
    It's here!
[08:11] Lookout
    The monster!
[08:13] Lookout
    The colossal monster...
[08:16] Lookout
    The Sand Whale!
[08:24] Citizen
    It's heading this way!
[08:24] Citizen
    Run!
[08:25] Citizen
    It'll crush the city!
[08:26] Citizen
    It's a colossal monster!
[08:27] Citizen
    Help!
[08:34] Diablo
    A Sand Whale?
[08:37] Horn
    That boat is trying to foist the Sand Whale
    onto the city and escape on its own!
[08:42] Rem
    How selfish.
[08:45] Shera
    What do we do?! What do we do?!
[08:48] Horn
    If that thing crashes into the city, it's gonna...
[08:51] Rem
    Diablo, what shall we do?
[08:53] Shera
    Diablo!
[08:54] Diablo
    No choice.
[08:58] Diablo
    I shall use Multiplex Magic!
[09:01] Diablo
    Distance yourselves!
[09:03] Horn
    That's crazy!
[09:05] Horn
    Against a monster like that?!
[09:06] Diablo
    I am Diablo, the Demon Lord
     from another world!
[09:09] Diablo
    Nothing is impossible!
[09:11] Diablo
    Man, I'm nervous!
[09:14] Diablo
    I've hardly ever used this magic.
[09:16] Diablo
    I wish I could pray to God!
[09:21] Diablo
    O darkness born from night darker
    than ebony, gather to form an arc!
[09:28] Diablo
    Dark Arc Seek!
[09:36] Diablo
    O void that swallows all of creation,
     come forth to my hand!
[09:43] Diablo
    Black Hole Arrow!
[09:53] Diablo
    Man, that's scary!
[09:54] Diablo
    That thing's practically a mountain!
    Will my magic even work on it?
[09:59] Diablo
    No, don't hesitate! Believe in yourself!
[10:02] Diablo
    I am Diablo!
[10:04] Diablo
    The Demon Lord from another world!
[10:07] Diablo
    Arrow of void, drive a stake into the
    boundary between Heaven and Earth!
[10:13] Diablo
    Gravity Abyss!
[10:29] Diablo
    Yes! I think I got it!
[10:32] Diablo
    What?!
[10:33] Diablo
    It's not activating?!
[10:40] Diablo
    Yes! It activated!
[10:48] Horn
    W-We're gonna get blown off our feet!
[10:50] Rem
    Multiplex Magic is incredible.
[10:53] Shera
    But that monster...
[10:55] Diablo
    It hasn't fallen for good yet?
[10:58] Diablo
    Will my magic last until it's eliminated?
[11:02] Diablo
    Let me think...
[11:03] Diablo
    Do I have any other spells
    likely to work on it?
[11:07] Batutta
    Seven Star Blast!
[11:14] Diablo
    What? A long-range attack with a Martial Art?!
    Where'd it come from?!
[11:27] Diablo
    What now?!
[11:29] Diablo
    Was that a Magi-Gun?!
[11:31] Diablo
    There's a Magi-Gunner here?!
[11:34] Diablo
    Someone whose level is that high?!
[11:50] Diablo
    Looks like we're safe.
[11:52] Shera
    Diablo!
[11:54] Rem
    Diablo!
[11:55] Rem
    You really are unbelievable.
[11:59] Shera
    That was incredible! Way to go, Diablo!
[12:03] Diablo
    B-B-B-Boobs!
[12:06] Diablo
    Wait, no! A Demon Lord
    wouldn't go all deredere!
[12:10] Diablo
    Hmph.
[12:11] Diablo
    That was nothing to fuss about.
[12:14] Lumachina
    Oh, God!
[12:15] Batutta
    Was it you?
[12:20] Batutta
    Did you fire that magic
    at the monster's snout?
[12:26] Diablo
    This guy's strong.
[12:28] Diablo
    Is he...
[12:30] Paladin
    Boss!
[12:31] Paladin
    This is the Demon that defied the Church!
[12:34] Paladin
    Hmph!
[12:35] Paladin
    This man is the Head Paladin, Batutta-sama!
[12:41] Lumachina
    He's Batutta?
[12:42] Horn
    Th-This is bad.
[12:44] Diablo
    I should've known the Head Paladin
    we came all this way to see
[12:48] Diablo
    would be the boss of a bunch of bandits.
[12:51] Diablo
    It was indeed my magic.
[12:54] Diablo
    Were you the one who unleashed
    what looked like a Martial Art?
[12:57] Batutta
    Indeed.
[12:58] Batutta
    That was my Seven Star Blast.
[13:01] Diablo
    Oh?
[13:02] Diablo
    A Level 130 Martial Art?!
[13:05] Lumachina
    Head Paladin.
[13:06] Lumachina
    What is this Paladin Brigade
    these people claim to belong to?
[13:10] Lumachina
    I do not recall giving
    permission for such a thing.
[13:13] Lumachina
    Did the Cardinals allow it?
[13:16] Lumachina
    Or did you create it on your own?
[13:18] Batutta
    You're...
[13:20] Paladin
    Hey, woman! You've got a big head!
[13:23] Paladin
    Boss, let's teach these guys the proper
    attitude to have toward the Head Paladin...
[13:29] Paladin
    And let's take our time at it!
[13:40] Batutta
    I wasn't expecting you,
    Head Priest Lumachina-sama.
[13:44] Batutta
    I've only met you once, when you were little,
[13:49] Batutta
    but there's no mistaking you.
[13:52] Lumachina
    Is that so?
[13:53] Batutta
    I cannot apologize enough
    for all of their disrespect.
[13:57] Rem
    He doesn't seem like a bad person.
[13:59] Shera
    Yeah.
[14:01] Diablo
    Guess we can trust him for now.
[14:03] Laminitus
    You have some interesting guests
    visiting you, swindlers.
[14:07] Diablo
    Wh-What?!
[14:09] Diablo
    That cape is the Rare
    equipment called Crimson Wings!
[14:13] Diablo
    And is that a Magi-Gun she's shouldering?
[14:15] Diablo
    So she's the one who
    attacked from the tower?!
[14:19] Batutta
    How dare you?!
[14:21] Batutta
    If you insult this lady again,
[14:22] Batutta
    consider your head forfeit, Laminitus!
[14:27] Laminitus
    Don't address me without
    respect either, swindler.
[14:30] Laminitus
    I am the lord who governs Zircon Tower City,
[14:34] Laminitus
    Fanis Laminitus!
[14:37] Laminitus
    You there, woman.
[14:38] Laminitus
    Are you the Head Priest?
[14:41] Lumachina
    Yes.
[14:42] Lumachina
    I am Head Priest Lumachina Weselia.
[14:46] Laminitus
    Oh?
[14:47] Laminitus
    So this little girl is the swindlers' top boss.
[14:51] Lumachina
    What do you mean by "swindlers"?
[14:53] Laminitus
    Even though they can hardly do anything,
[14:55] Laminitus
    they demand huge donations.
[14:58] Batutta
    With you closing our church
[15:00] Batutta
    and imposing heavy taxes at every turn,
[15:02] Batutta
    we have no choice but to demand
    donations from our believers!
[15:05] Laminitus
    Hmph! Isn't your God supposed to
    be able to create bread and wine?
[15:09] Batutta
    That's...
[15:10] Lumachina
    We are merely those who believe in God,
[15:13] Lumachina
    not God himself.
[15:16] Lumachina
    And God will always extend his aid
    to those who believe in him.
[15:22] Laminitus
    Oh? You're preaching to me?
[15:25] Laminitus
    In that case,
[15:27] Laminitus
    let's test whether or not you
    truly have God's protection!
[15:34] Batutta
    You insolent woman!
[15:41] Diablo
    They're both fast!
[15:42] Diablo
    Both are seriously strong!
[15:47] Laminitus
    So none of you believe in God either,
     when it comes down to it!
[15:52] Laminitus
    If God truly existed,
[15:54] Laminitus
    he would protect her without you acting!
[15:57] Batutta
    That's mere sophistry!
[16:00] Laminitus
    No matter.
[16:01] Laminitus
    I have no business with you.
[16:03] Laminitus
    I came here to find whoever used that spell.
[16:09] Diablo
    Wait, that's me!
[16:12] Shera
    Diablo...
[16:13] Rem
    This isn't good.
[16:15] Batutta
    I came here to find them as well,
[16:19] Batutta
    but it looks like they've already gone.
[16:21] Diablo
    This guy...
[16:23] Laminitus
    Oho?
[16:25] Diablo
    What were you planning to do with
    that sorcerer once you found them?
[16:29] Laminitus
    If they're useful, I'd make them work under me.
[16:31] Laminitus
    And if they wouldn't follow me,
[16:33] Laminitus
    I figured I'd show them
    the difference in our might.
[16:36] Diablo
    You're a real pain.
[16:40] Laminitus
    Someone who's that strong will
    eventually stand before me.
[16:46] Diablo
    I already am!
[16:48] Diablo
    And she's totally realized it already!
[16:51] Batutta
    Lumachina-sama, I'm terribly
    sorry for her rudeness.
[16:56] Rem
    Looks like an awfully annoying
    woman has her sights on us now.
[17:01] Shera
    I could hardly understand what
    she was talking about, though.
[17:06] Diablo
    I'd love to learn a thing
    or two from her optimism.
[17:10] Batutta
    Lumachina-sama, you must be
    tired from your long journey.
[17:14] Batutta
    Please rest in my mansion.
[17:19] Shera
    Hey, what's that line for?
[17:25] Rem
    Yeah, what is that?
[17:27] Rem
    There are an awful lot of people lined up.
[17:30] Batutta
    They're lined up at the tents we're using
    after Laminitus ordered the church closed.
[17:38] Batutta
    They're been there for days on end,
[17:40] ---
    hoping to have the priests offer
    prayers and receive a miracle.
[17:42] Lumachina
    Days on end?
[17:51] Lumachina
    Even those little children?
[17:55] Diablo
    Is that also a line of
    people waiting on prayers?
[17:58] Batutta
    It is.
[18:00] Batutta
    That's the line exclusively for
    those who gave large donations.
[18:04] Lumachina
    Huh?
[18:05] Lumachina
    What do you mean?
[18:07] Batutta
    Please don't misunderstand.
[18:10] Batutta
    We're short on priests,
[18:11] ---
    so we aren't able to respond to
    all of those who desire prayers.
[18:16] Batutta
    It's only natural to prioritize the believers
[18:18] ---
    who have provided greater donations
    and demonstrated greater need.
[18:23] Lumachina
    Even so, there are so many people...
[18:27] Lumachina
    A bit too many.
[18:35] Diablo
    It's curry!
[18:37] Diablo
    And rice, too!
[18:38] Shera
    Wow, this smells good.
[18:41] Batutta
    Please, help yourselves.
[18:44] Batutta
    Though it might not be to
    your tastes, Lumachina-sama.
[18:48] Lumachina
    Oh, I'll have some.
[18:51] Shera
    Spicy! It's spicy!
[18:53] Rem
    I-It is.
[18:55] Rem
    But it's good.
[18:56] Diablo
    I never thought I'd get to eat
    curry after coming to this world!
[19:04] Diablo
    Lumachina, what happened to your right hand?
[19:07] Lumachina
    Huh?
[19:08] Lumachina
    Oh, something must have hit me
    while you were fighting earlier.
[19:14] Lumachina
    The power of miracles
    won't work on my own body.
[19:18] Lumachina
    Strange, isn't it?
[19:20] Shera
    So spicy! More, please!
[19:23] Diablo
    I desire another, as well!
[19:26] Shiliu
    Coming right up.
[19:28] Lumachina
    Head Paladin Batutta,
[19:30] Lumachina
    could we speak for a bit after this?
[19:34] Diablo
    Phew... I ate a bit too much.
[19:37] Diablo
    A dip in cold water is nice,
[19:39] Diablo
    but sometimes you just want a warm bath.
[19:42] Diablo
    Maybe I should build a bath at some point.
[19:45] Shera
    Diablo, may I?
[19:47] Diablo
    Shera? What is it?
[19:50] Shera
    Well...
[19:52] Shera
    I just couldn't settle down by myself.
[19:55] Diablo
    Oh, right.
[19:56] Diablo
    She gets lonely so easily. Jeez...
[19:59] Diablo
    Hmph! Do as you please.
[20:02] Shera
    Yay!
[20:03] Shera
    Hey, Diablo, that curry we just ate...
[20:07] Shera
    Hup!
[20:08] Shera
    That was good, wasn't it?
[20:10] Diablo
    Yes, it was.
[20:12] Diablo
    In particular, the spices... were...
[20:16] Diablo
    Wh-What are you doing?!
[20:18] Shera
    What? Let's bathe together.
[20:21] Shera
    I'll wash your back.
[20:23] Diablo
    No, no, no, no!
[20:25] Diablo
    That's going to make me sweat,
    not wash the sweat away!
[20:27] Diablo
    Worse, it might make something
    else come out of me!
[20:34] Shera
    Oh, we don't have a towel. Then...
[20:38] Shera
    How's this, Diablo?
[20:40] Diablo
    Uh, yes...
[20:42] Diablo
    It feels so smooth and nice...
[20:45] Shera
    I know!
[20:46] Shera
    Let's both get clean together!
[20:48] Diablo
    Huh?!
[20:50] Shera
    There!
[20:53] Diablo
    They're touching me!
[20:55] Diablo
    The ultra-soft sensation of my
    sweet dreams is up against my back!
[21:00] Shera
    Your back's so stiff, Diablo.
[21:05] Shera
    I wonder why I'm getting so warm.
[21:10] Diablo
    What would a Demon Lord
    do in a situation like this?!
[21:13] Diablo
    A Demon Lord with a woman pressing her boobs
    against his back, slowly getting hotter...
[21:18] Diablo
    But there's no Demon Lord like that!
[21:23] Shera
    I'll wash your front too, okay?
[21:28] Shera
    Your body feels so strong.
[21:32] Diablo
    I-I am Level 150.
[21:35] Shera
    Oh, I'll wash you here too, okay?
[21:38] Shera
    This is...
[21:41] Shera
    really hard and thick, too.
[21:47] Diablo
    Y-Yeah, it is.
[21:50] Diablo
    It is a... horn.
[21:53] Shera
    It's so much fun to bathe together.
[21:56] Diablo
    Uh... yes, it is.
[21:59] Diablo
    I wish these peaceful times
    would continue forever.
[22:04] Lumachina
    Please come in.
[22:10] Batutta
    You said you wished to talk?
[22:14] Lumachina
    Yes. I've been waiting for you.
[23:50] Batutta
    I'm looking forward to the moment
    when you succumb to lust.
SIGN    Next Episode "Corrupt Ritual"
[23:54] Diablo
    It crushed my heart?!
[23:56] Diablo
    This will...
[23:57] Lumachina
    I won't give in to any curse!
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SIGN    Illustration: Itou Life