# E2 - Head Paladin
Source: [Crunchyroll](https://www.crunchyroll.com/watch/GQJUGEGP4/head-paladin)
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
**[00:02] Shera**
It's coming into view!
**[00:05] Shera**
Rem, we've arrived!
**[00:07] Shera**
Rem!
**[00:08] Rem**
Oh, so that's...
**[00:14] Shera**
Overboard! Do it overboard!
**[00:14] Diablo**
* Rem really can't handle traveling*
* in vehicles, can she?*
**[00:18] Lumachina**
God—
**[00:19] Lumachina**
I mean, Diablo-sama.
**[00:21] Lumachina**
We've managed to arrive safely.
**[00:23] Lumachina**
Thank you so very much.
**[00:25] Diablo**
Hmph. A journey such as
this is nothing to me.
**[00:31] Diablo**
* Though, honestly, it took us*
* two whole weeks to get here.*
**[00:35] Diablo**
*We got lost...*
**[00:38] Diablo**
*and got caught in storms, too!*
**[00:41] Diablo**
*Well, at any rate...*
**[00:45] Diablo**
*That's Zircon Tower City, huh?*
***SIGN*** Episode 2 "Head Paladin"
**[02:22] Shera**
I'm starving!
**[02:24] Shera**
Hey, let's get something to eat!
**[02:27] Rem**
There you go again.
**[02:28] Rem**
Our priority right now is escorting
Lumachina safely to Batutta.
**[02:33] Shera**
Aww!
**[02:35] Rem**
Just bear with it, you starving elf.
**[02:37] Rem**
That aside, this city...
**[02:40] Shera**
It's not very lively, is it?
**[02:45] Mother**
Please, heal my child!
**[02:47] Diablo**
Man, it's hot.
**[02:49] Horn**
Are you an adventurer?
**[02:51] Diablo**
What do you want, kid?
**[02:52] Horn**
Are you interested in taking on the new
dungeon that was recently discovered?
**[02:56] Horn**
How about it?
**[02:57] Horn**
I can introduce you to a dungeon
guide and a master lock-picker...
**[03:02] Horn**
And that would be me, Horn!
**[03:05] Diablo**
Oh? What kind of dungeon is it?
**[03:07] Horn**
It's incredible, right from the entrance.
**[03:10] Horn**
There are lion statues that
attack you right at the gate!
**[03:13] Diablo**
What was that?!
**[03:14] Horn**
Huh?
**[03:16] Diablo**
This dungeon has 13 floors, does it not?
**[03:19] Horn**
I-I wouldn't know that.
**[03:22] Horn**
No one's been able to make
it past the third floor.
**[03:24] Diablo**
On the third floor, you should have to
defeat the different-colored slimes
**[03:28] ---**
in order to make the key
to the fourth floor appear!
**[03:31] Horn**
Is that true?!
**[03:32] Horn**
There *were* a lot of different-colored
slimes wandering around there.
**[03:36] Diablo**
*I knew it! It really is my dungeon!*
**[03:39] Horn**
Hey, who are you?
**[03:43] Diablo**
I am the Demon—
**[03:44] Lumachina**
No!
**[03:45] Lumachina**
I cannot stand by and watch this!
**[03:47] Diablo**
*What?! She got into trouble?!*
**[03:50] Lumachina**
You're kicking aside this
poor woman seeking help.
**[03:53] Shera**
What were you going to
do if you hurt her baby?!
**[03:56] Paladin**
Who are you people?
**[03:59] Mother**
P-Please, heal my child!
**[04:02] Paladin**
If you need the aid of a priest,
get in line and pay the donation!
**[04:08] Horn**
This is bad, mister!
**[04:09] Horn**
He's with the Paladin Brigade!
**[04:11] Diablo**
Paladin... Brigade?
**[04:13] Diablo**
What do you mean, "Brigade"?
**[04:15] Horn**
Subordinates of the Paladins
and soldiers of the Church.
**[04:18] Horn**
At any rate, they're violent men.
**[04:21] Diablo**
Oh?
**[04:23] Diablo**
We came here to seek
Head Paladin Batutta's aid,
**[04:26] Diablo**
but if his men are like that...
**[04:28] Lumachina**
It's written in the holy scripture.
**[04:30] Lumachina**
All people are—
**[04:31] Paladin**
Shut up, you know-it-all!
**[04:33] Lumachina**
Listen to me!
**[04:35] Diablo**
*People are after her life.*
**[04:37] Diablo**
* I was hoping she wouldn't*
* cause any trouble,*
**[04:37] Lumachina**
All people are born with sin,
**[04:40] Diablo**
*but her desire to protect the weak is...*
**[04:41] Lumachina**
and by offering our prayers to God...
**[04:45] Paladin**
A mere adventurer like you
**[04:47] ---**
shouldn't try to lecture me,
a great member of the Paladin Brigade!
**[05:04] Diablo**
What a trifling nobody.
**[05:06] Lumachina**
Diablo-sama...
**[05:08] Shera**
Yeah, serves him right!
**[05:11] Diablo**
You there, woman. What is this about healing?
**[05:14] Mother**
W-Well, my child...
**[05:21] Diablo**
*These marks...*
**[05:23] Diablo**
*This was in the game, too.*
**[05:26] Diablo**
It's the Death Knell Disease!
**[05:27] Lumachina**
Death Knell Disease?
**[05:30] Mother**
It's an epidemic.
**[05:32] Mother**
Once there are nine of these marks,
**[05:35] Mother**
h-he'll die!
**[05:37] Rem**
How do you cure it?
**[05:39] Mother**
It can be healed by receiving a
miracle from a priest, but...
**[05:43] Lumachina**
Then we should hurry to the church!
**[05:46] Mother**
It's no use.
**[05:49] Horn**
It's money.
**[05:51] Horn**
Those at the church demand a donation of
an incredible sum to perform the miracle.
**[05:56] Lumachina**
How could they?
**[05:58] Lumachina**
A young child's life is at stake!
**[06:01] Horn**
That's just how it is in this city.
**[06:12] Lumachina**
I will cure him.
**[06:14] Horn**
Huh?!
**[06:14] Horn**
It's not that simple!
**[06:17] Lumachina**
God will protect me.
**[06:20] Lumachina**
Isn't that right?
**[06:22] Diablo**
*I'm not God...*
**[06:25] Diablo**
I know you can do it.
**[06:28] Lumachina**
Diablo-sama...
**[06:31] Lumachina**
Yes!
**[06:33] Lumachina**
Now, everyone...
**[06:35] Lumachina**
Let's all pray together.
**[06:38] Lumachina**
Oh, God who art in Heaven,
**[06:41] Lumachina**
please hear the voices of those
who seek your salvation.
**[06:48] Lumachina**
Please heal this child stricken
with this foul disease.
**[07:00] Lumachina**
Please grant your generous mercy
to this child for his sins,
**[07:06] Lumachina**
and forgive him.
**[07:09] Lumachina**
Grant him mercy.
**[07:12] Lumachina**
Forgive him.
**[07:16] Lumachina**
Grant him mercy.
**[07:19] Lumachina**
Forgive him.
**[07:22] Diablo**
*This is tremendous magical energy, all right.*
**[07:26] Diablo**
*The marks are fading?*
**[07:32] Baby**
Mama! Mama!
**[07:34] Mother**
Oh! My boy! My boy!
**[07:40] Mother**
Oh, thank you so much!
**[07:44] Lumachina**
I'm glad, truly.
**[07:46] Rem**
Impressive.
**[07:48] Shera**
Yeah, that was great!
**[07:50] Horn**
Incredible!
**[07:51] Horn**
You really healed that child?
**[07:54] Horn**
It's almost like you're God!
**[07:57] Diablo**
Being able to do that much is expected.
**[08:00] Horn**
What's the matter?
**[08:03] Shera**
What is this?
**[08:05] Rem**
Diablo?
**[08:10] Lookout**
It's here!
**[08:11] Lookout**
The monster!
**[08:13] Lookout**
The colossal monster...
**[08:16] Lookout**
The Sand Whale!
**[08:24] Citizen**
It's heading this way!
**[08:24] Citizen**
Run!
**[08:25] Citizen**
It'll crush the city!
**[08:26] Citizen**
It's a colossal monster!
**[08:27] Citizen**
Help!
**[08:34] Diablo**
A Sand Whale?
**[08:37] Horn**
That boat is trying to foist the Sand Whale
onto the city and escape on its own!
**[08:42] Rem**
How selfish.
**[08:45] Shera**
What do we do?! What do we do?!
**[08:48] Horn**
If that thing crashes into the city, it's gonna...
**[08:51] Rem**
Diablo, what shall we do?
**[08:53] Shera**
Diablo!
**[08:54] Diablo**
*No choice.*
**[08:58] Diablo**
I shall use Multiplex Magic!
**[09:01] Diablo**
Distance yourselves!
**[09:03] Horn**
That's crazy!
**[09:05] Horn**
Against a monster like that?!
**[09:06] Diablo**
I am Diablo, the Demon Lord
from another world!
**[09:09] Diablo**
Nothing is impossible!
**[09:11] Diablo**
*Man, I'm nervous!*
**[09:14] Diablo**
*I've hardly ever used this magic.*
**[09:16] Diablo**
*I wish I could pray to God!*
**[09:21] Diablo**
O darkness born from night darker
than ebony, gather to form an arc!
**[09:28] Diablo**
Dark Arc Seek!
**[09:36] Diablo**
O void that swallows all of creation,
come forth to my hand!
**[09:43] Diablo**
Black Hole Arrow!
**[09:53] Diablo**
*Man, that's scary!*
**[09:54] Diablo**
* That thing's practically a mountain!*
* Will my magic even work on it?*
**[09:59] Diablo**
*No, don't hesitate! Believe in yourself!*
**[10:02] Diablo**
*I am Diablo!*
**[10:04] Diablo**
The Demon Lord from another world!
**[10:07] Diablo**
Arrow of void, drive a stake into the
boundary between Heaven and Earth!
**[10:13] Diablo**
Gravity Abyss!
**[10:29] Diablo**
*Yes! I think I got it!*
**[10:32] Diablo**
*What?!*
**[10:33] Diablo**
*It's not activating?!*
**[10:40] Diablo**
*Yes! It activated!*
**[10:48] Horn**
W-We're gonna get blown off our feet!
**[10:50] Rem**
Multiplex Magic is incredible.
**[10:53] Shera**
But that monster...
**[10:55] Diablo**
*It hasn't fallen for good yet?*
**[10:58] Diablo**
*Will my magic last until it's eliminated?*
**[11:02] Diablo**
*Let me think...*
**[11:03] Diablo**
* Do I have any other spells*
* likely to work on it?*
**[11:07] Batutta**
Seven Star Blast!
**[11:14] Diablo**
What? A long-range attack with a Martial Art?!
Where'd it come from?!
**[11:27] Diablo**
*What now?!*
**[11:29] Diablo**
*Was that a Magi-Gun?!*
**[11:31] Diablo**
*There's a Magi-Gunner here?!*
**[11:34] Diablo**
*Someone whose level is that high?!*
**[11:50] Diablo**
Looks like we're safe.
**[11:52] Shera**
Diablo!
**[11:54] Rem**
Diablo!
**[11:55] Rem**
You really are unbelievable.
**[11:59] Shera**
That was incredible! Way to go, Diablo!
**[12:03] Diablo**
*B-B-B-Boobs!*
**[12:06] Diablo**
* Wait, no! A Demon Lord*
* wouldn't go all deredere!*
**[12:10] Diablo**
Hmph.
**[12:11] Diablo**
That was nothing to fuss about.
**[12:14] Lumachina**
Oh, God!
**[12:15] Batutta**
Was it you?
**[12:20] Batutta**
Did you fire that magic
at the monster's snout?
**[12:26] Diablo**
*This guy's strong.*
**[12:28] Diablo**
*Is he...*
**[12:30] Paladin**
Boss!
**[12:31] Paladin**
This is the Demon that defied the Church!
**[12:34] Paladin**
Hmph!
**[12:35] Paladin**
This man is the Head Paladin, Batutta-sama!
**[12:41] Lumachina**
He's Batutta?
**[12:42] Horn**
Th-This is bad.
**[12:44] Diablo**
* I should've known the Head Paladin*
* we came all this way to see*
**[12:48] Diablo**
*would be the boss of a bunch of bandits.*
**[12:51] Diablo**
It was indeed my magic.
**[12:54] Diablo**
Were you the one who unleashed
what looked like a Martial Art?
**[12:57] Batutta**
Indeed.
**[12:58] Batutta**
That was my Seven Star Blast.
**[13:01] Diablo**
Oh?
**[13:02] Diablo**
*A Level 130 Martial Art?!*
**[13:05] Lumachina**
Head Paladin.
**[13:06] Lumachina**
What is this Paladin Brigade
these people claim to belong to?
**[13:10] Lumachina**
I do not recall giving
permission for such a thing.
**[13:13] Lumachina**
Did the Cardinals allow it?
**[13:16] Lumachina**
Or did you create it on your own?
**[13:18] Batutta**
You're...
**[13:20] Paladin**
Hey, woman! You've got a big head!
**[13:23] Paladin**
Boss, let's teach these guys the proper
attitude to have toward the Head Paladin...
**[13:29] Paladin**
And let's take our time at it!
**[13:40] Batutta**
I wasn't expecting you,
Head Priest Lumachina-sama.
**[13:44] Batutta**
I've only met you once, when you were little,
**[13:49] Batutta**
but there's no mistaking you.
**[13:52] Lumachina**
Is that so?
**[13:53] Batutta**
I cannot apologize enough
for all of their disrespect.
**[13:57] Rem**
He doesn't seem like a bad person.
**[13:59] Shera**
Yeah.
**[14:01] Diablo**
*Guess we can trust him for now.*
**[14:03] Laminitus**
You have some interesting guests
visiting you, swindlers.
**[14:07] Diablo**
*Wh-What?!*
**[14:09] Diablo**
* That cape is the Rare*
* equipment called Crimson Wings!*
**[14:13] Diablo**
*And is that a Magi-Gun she's shouldering?*
**[14:15] Diablo**
* So she's the one who*
* attacked from the tower?!*
**[14:19] Batutta**
How dare you?!
**[14:21] Batutta**
If you insult this lady again,
**[14:22] Batutta**
consider your head forfeit, Laminitus!
**[14:27] Laminitus**
Don't address me without
respect either, swindler.
**[14:30] Laminitus**
I am the lord who governs Zircon Tower City,
**[14:34] Laminitus**
Fanis Laminitus!
**[14:37] Laminitus**
You there, woman.
**[14:38] Laminitus**
Are you the Head Priest?
**[14:41] Lumachina**
Yes.
**[14:42] Lumachina**
I am Head Priest Lumachina Weselia.
**[14:46] Laminitus**
Oh?
**[14:47] Laminitus**
So this little girl is the swindlers' top boss.
**[14:51] Lumachina**
What do you mean by "swindlers"?
**[14:53] Laminitus**
Even though they can hardly do anything,
**[14:55] Laminitus**
they demand huge donations.
**[14:58] Batutta**
With you closing our church
**[15:00] Batutta**
and imposing heavy taxes at every turn,
**[15:02] Batutta**
we have no choice but to demand
donations from our believers!
**[15:05] Laminitus**
Hmph! Isn't your God supposed to
be able to create bread and wine?
**[15:09] Batutta**
That's...
**[15:10] Lumachina**
We are merely those who believe in God,
**[15:13] Lumachina**
not God himself.
**[15:16] Lumachina**
And God will always extend his aid
to those who believe in him.
**[15:22] Laminitus**
Oh? You're preaching to me?
**[15:25] Laminitus**
In that case,
**[15:27] Laminitus**
let's test whether or not you
truly have God's protection!
**[15:34] Batutta**
You insolent woman!
**[15:41] Diablo**
*They're both fast!*
**[15:42] Diablo**
*Both are seriously strong!*
**[15:47] Laminitus**
So none of you believe in God either,
when it comes down to it!
**[15:52] Laminitus**
If God truly existed,
**[15:54] Laminitus**
he would protect her without you acting!
**[15:57] Batutta**
That's mere sophistry!
**[16:00] Laminitus**
No matter.
**[16:01] Laminitus**
I have no business with you.
**[16:03] Laminitus**
I came here to find whoever used that spell.
**[16:09] Diablo**
*Wait, that's me!*
**[16:12] Shera**
Diablo...
**[16:13] Rem**
This isn't good.
**[16:15] Batutta**
I came here to find them as well,
**[16:19] Batutta**
but it looks like they've already gone.
**[16:21] Diablo**
*This guy...*
**[16:23] Laminitus**
Oho?
**[16:25] Diablo**
What were you planning to do with
that sorcerer once you found them?
**[16:29] Laminitus**
If they're useful, I'd make them work under me.
**[16:31] Laminitus**
And if they wouldn't follow me,
**[16:33] Laminitus**
I figured I'd show them
the difference in our might.
**[16:36] Diablo**
You're a real pain.
**[16:40] Laminitus**
Someone who's that strong will
eventually stand before me.
**[16:46] Diablo**
*I already am!*
**[16:48] Diablo**
*And she's totally realized it already!*
**[16:51] Batutta**
Lumachina-sama, I'm terribly
sorry for her rudeness.
**[16:56] Rem**
Looks like an awfully annoying
woman has her sights on us now.
**[17:01] Shera**
I could hardly understand what
she was talking about, though.
**[17:06] Diablo**
* I'd love to learn a thing*
* or two from her optimism.*
**[17:10] Batutta**
Lumachina-sama, you must be
tired from your long journey.
**[17:14] Batutta**
Please rest in my mansion.
**[17:19] Shera**
Hey, what's that line for?
**[17:25] Rem**
Yeah, what is that?
**[17:27] Rem**
There are an awful lot of people lined up.
**[17:30] Batutta**
They're lined up at the tents we're using
after Laminitus ordered the church closed.
**[17:38] Batutta**
They're been there for days on end,
**[17:40] ---**
hoping to have the priests offer
prayers and receive a miracle.
**[17:42] Lumachina**
Days on end?
**[17:51] Lumachina**
Even those little children?
**[17:55] Diablo**
Is that also a line of
people waiting on prayers?
**[17:58] Batutta**
It is.
**[18:00] Batutta**
That's the line exclusively for
those who gave large donations.
**[18:04] Lumachina**
Huh?
**[18:05] Lumachina**
What do you mean?
**[18:07] Batutta**
Please don't misunderstand.
**[18:10] Batutta**
We're short on priests,
**[18:11] ---**
so we aren't able to respond to
all of those who desire prayers.
**[18:16] Batutta**
It's only natural to prioritize the believers
**[18:18] ---**
who have provided greater donations
and demonstrated greater need.
**[18:23] Lumachina**
Even so, there are so many people...
**[18:27] Lumachina**
A bit too many.
**[18:35] Diablo**
*It's curry!*
**[18:37] Diablo**
*And rice, too!*
**[18:38] Shera**
Wow, this smells good.
**[18:41] Batutta**
Please, help yourselves.
**[18:44] Batutta**
Though it might not be to
your tastes, Lumachina-sama.
**[18:48] Lumachina**
Oh, I'll have some.
**[18:51] Shera**
Spicy! It's spicy!
**[18:53] Rem**
I-It is.
**[18:55] Rem**
But it's good.
**[18:56] Diablo**
* I never thought I'd get to eat*
* curry after coming to this world!*
**[19:04] Diablo**
Lumachina, what happened to your right hand?
**[19:07] Lumachina**
Huh?
**[19:08] Lumachina**
Oh, something must have hit me
while you were fighting earlier.
**[19:14] Lumachina**
The power of miracles
won't work on my own body.
**[19:18] Lumachina**
Strange, isn't it?
**[19:20] Shera**
So spicy! More, please!
**[19:23] Diablo**
I desire another, as well!
**[19:26] Shiliu**
Coming right up.
**[19:28] Lumachina**
Head Paladin Batutta,
**[19:30] Lumachina**
could we speak for a bit after this?
**[19:34] Diablo**
*Phew... I ate a bit too much.*
**[19:37] Diablo**
*A dip in cold water is nice,*
**[19:39] Diablo**
*but sometimes you just want a warm bath.*
**[19:42] Diablo**
*Maybe I should build a bath at some point.*
**[19:45] Shera**
Diablo, may I?
**[19:47] Diablo**
Shera? What is it?
**[19:50] Shera**
Well...
**[19:52] Shera**
I just couldn't settle down by myself.
**[19:55] Diablo**
*Oh, right.*
**[19:56] Diablo**
*She gets lonely so easily. Jeez...*
**[19:59] Diablo**
Hmph! Do as you please.
**[20:02] Shera**
Yay!
**[20:03] Shera**
Hey, Diablo, that curry we just ate...
**[20:07] Shera**
Hup!
**[20:08] Shera**
That was good, wasn't it?
**[20:10] Diablo**
Yes, it was.
**[20:12] Diablo**
In particular, the spices... were...
**[20:16] Diablo**
Wh-What are you doing?!
**[20:18] Shera**
What? Let's bathe together.
**[20:21] Shera**
I'll wash your back.
**[20:23] Diablo**
*No, no, no, no!*
**[20:25] Diablo**
* That's going to make me sweat,*
* not wash the sweat away!*
**[20:27] Diablo**
* Worse, it might make something*
* else come out of me!*
**[20:34] Shera**
Oh, we don't have a towel. Then...
**[20:38] Shera**
How's this, Diablo?
**[20:40] Diablo**
Uh, yes...
**[20:42] Diablo**
*It feels so smooth and nice...*
**[20:45] Shera**
I know!
**[20:46] Shera**
Let's both get clean together!
**[20:48] Diablo**
Huh?!
**[20:50] Shera**
There!
**[20:53] Diablo**
*They're touching me!*
**[20:55] Diablo**
* The ultra-soft sensation of my*
* sweet dreams is up against my back!*
**[21:00] Shera**
Your back's so stiff, Diablo.
**[21:05] Shera**
I wonder why I'm getting so warm.
**[21:10] Diablo**
* What would a Demon Lord*
* do in a situation like this?!*
**[21:13] Diablo**
* A Demon Lord with a woman pressing her boobs*
* against his back, slowly getting hotter...*
**[21:18] Diablo**
*But there's no Demon Lord like that!*
**[21:23] Shera**
I'll wash your front too, okay?
**[21:28] Shera**
Your body feels so strong.
**[21:32] Diablo**
I-I am Level 150.
**[21:35] Shera**
Oh, I'll wash you here too, okay?
**[21:38] Shera**
This is...
**[21:41] Shera**
really hard and thick, too.
**[21:47] Diablo**
Y-Yeah, it is.
**[21:50] Diablo**
It is a... horn.
**[21:53] Shera**
It's so much fun to bathe together.
**[21:56] Diablo**
Uh... yes, it is.
**[21:59] Diablo**
* I wish these peaceful times*
* would continue forever.*
**[22:04] Lumachina**
Please come in.
**[22:10] Batutta**
You said you wished to talk?
**[22:14] Lumachina**
Yes. I've been waiting for you.
**[23:50] Batutta**
I'm looking forward to the moment
when you succumb to lust.
***SIGN*** Next Episode "Corrupt Ritual"
**[23:54] Diablo**
It crushed my heart?!
**[23:56] Diablo**
This will...
**[23:57] Lumachina**
I won't give in to any curse!
***SIGN*** Don't Miss the Next Episode!
***SIGN*** Illustration: Itou Life