21 - It Isn't a Manga!

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
SIGN    Joutou Business High School
[00:03] Y
    "Do not attempt."
[00:05] Y
    That means, uh...
[00:08] ---
    D-Do—
[00:09] T
    Don't copy me.
[00:11] Y
    I am not!
[00:12] T
    No, that's what it means.
[00:14] T
    It's an imperative.
[00:17] Y
    Thanks.
[00:19] T
    You're welcome!
[00:21] T
    Jeez! I don't know this!
[00:23] T
    Hey, stop checking the answers right away!
[00:26] T
    You won't learn anything.
[00:28] Y
    You're right.
[00:29] Y
    "It's okay. It's garbage, anyway."
    Constantinople falls.
[00:33] Y
    "How long will mankind fight?"
    The War of the Roses.
[00:37] T
    "What fast runners they are."
[00:40] T
    How do they run so fast?
[00:41] T
    October.
[00:42] T
    The culture fair is getting close.
[00:45] T
    But a big wall separates us and the fair.
[00:49] T
    That's right. Midterms.
[00:52] T
    To be honest, I'm pretty spooked.
[00:54] T
    I have less time for studying than the others.
[00:58] T
    But I can't let that beat me.
[01:00] T
    I...
[01:01] T
    I will become a local government official!
SIGN    Twenty-first Haunting
    It Isn't a Manga!
[02:36] T
    Let's eat!
[02:37] Gu
    It's been so long since we've had
    Kinzanji miso and fried fish.
[02:40] Gu
    Perfect for this time of year!
[02:42] Gu
    I'm so glad I'm Japanese!
[02:47] T
    This is amazing!
[02:48] H
    I could just eat forever.
[02:50] T
    Yeah, that's right—
[02:54] T
    Hase, what are you doing here?
[02:56] H
    Am I not allowed here?
[02:58] T
    No, but...
[03:01] H
    Tonight, I'm staying here.
[03:03] H
    Let's have lots of fun, Kuri!
[03:10] H
    This is so relaxing...
[03:12] R
    Hey, Antiquary.
[03:14] R
    Have anything interesting lately?
[03:19] Gu
    I do, but...
[03:21] Gi
    You do! What do you have?
[03:24] Gu
    What? Stop building it up and show us.
[03:28] Gu
    Well, I suppose it's fine.
[03:34] T
    What's fine?
[03:39] T
    A lamp?
[03:40] H
    What is this?
[03:42] Gu
    Put simply,
[03:43] Gu
    it's an omnidirectional 3D projector.
[03:46] H
    A 3D projector?
[03:48] T
    Omnidirectional?
[03:49] Gu
    Yes.
[03:50] Gu
    Akine-chan, can you erect a
    barrier around the living room?
[03:54] A
    Why?
[03:55] A
    Are you going to do something dangerous?
[03:57] Gu
    No, no.
[03:59] Gu
    Just in case, okay?
[04:01] H
    It's probably dangerous.
[04:03] A
    Oh, fine...
[04:05] T
    Um...
[04:07] T
    I have to study.
[04:10] Gu
    Don't worry. It won't take long.
[04:12] Gu
    In the real world, less than twenty minutes.
[04:15] Gu
    And it's something you might
    only see once in a century.
[04:19] Gu
    If you don't, you'll regret it.
[04:22] ---
    Right...
[04:24] Gu
    Everyone gathered here,
[04:26] Gu
    it is time.
[04:28] Gu
    Stop building it up.
[04:29] Gu
    Do it quickly!
[04:30] Gu
    What you'll see tonight is something amazing.
[04:34] Gu
    Don't let it blow your minds.
[04:38] H
    Looks like some kind of chip...
[04:48] H
    We're floating!
[04:49] H
    How scary!
[04:50] Gu
    It's like we're riding in an invisible plane.
[04:56] Gi
    It's so pretty!
[04:57] A
    How wonderful!
[04:59] Gu
    This is great.
[05:01] R
    Worth living a long time, huh?
[05:03] H
    I...
[05:04] H
    I've never seen a 3D projection like this!
[05:06] H
    How does it work?
[05:07] Gu
    We aren't in our world.
[05:10] T
    We aren't?
[05:14] T
    A dinosaur!
[05:16] Gu
    A roc bird!
[05:20] T
    That scared me...
[05:29] H
    Wow!
[05:36] A
    So shiny! Like a fairy castle!
[05:39] H
    Looks like H.R. Giger.
[05:48] H
    Scales?!
[05:49] H
    Is that... alive?
[05:52] Gu
    A fish that lives in a sea of sand.
[05:56] A
    Then this is a sea?
[06:01] T
    A-Amazing.
[06:03] T
    What's really amazing is that it isn't CG.
[06:07] T
    It isn't Heaven or Hell.
[06:09] T
    Worlds like this really exist!
[06:22] Gu
    A Kimon Tonkou barrier?
[06:24] Gu
    Well done, miss.
[06:30] A
    No! My barrier was destroyed?
[06:33] A
    And so easily?
[06:37] Y
    Wh-Who is this guy?
[06:41] Gu
    Now, I'll do this quickly.
[06:48] H
    What's wrong, Kuri?
[06:51] Y
    This is bad...
[06:51] Y
    I don't know what's happening, but it's bad!
[06:54] F
    Please stop it, master!
[06:56] F
    Even a billion of you could not beat him.
[07:00] F
    So please don't!
[07:08] Y
    Thunder spirit! Ithaqua!
[07:19] Gu
    Would you stop, please?
[07:30] Gu
    Otherwise, I will have to remove this.
[07:36] Gu
    Wouldn't that be a problem for both of us?
[07:40] Gu
    Are you threatening me?
[07:42] Gu
    As expected of the Heretic of the
    Far Reaches. You've got guts.
[07:46] Gu
    Quiet...
[07:48] Gu
    I'm merely an ordinary antiquary.
    Nothing less and nothing more.
[07:52] Gu
    But I cannot return empty-handed.
[07:59] Gu
    You insist?
[08:00] Gu
    Yes, in the name of truth and God.
[08:42] Gu
    Oh, dear.
[08:45] Y
    A-Antiquary?
[08:50] Gu
    Farewell, Yushi-kun.
[08:52] Gu
    Work hard in your life.
[08:53] Y
    Antiquary!
[09:04] Gu
    Just kidding.
[09:14] Gu
    Let us meet again, everyone!
[09:26] Y
    Antiquary?
[09:29] H
    What was that?
[09:32] Gu
    Congresso Vietato.
[09:35] Gu
    The miracle hunters.
[09:41] A
    Miracle hunters?
[09:43] A
    I see. He was an agent for the Secret Church.
[09:47] A
    I get it.
[09:48] Y
    The Secret... Church?
[09:51] Y
    They aren't normal priests.
[09:53] Y
    They deal directly with exorcisms, spirit
    summoning, ghosts, and monsters.
[09:58] Y
    Stuff the church does secretly.
[10:01] H
    It's like a manga.
[10:02] A
    You may not believe it,
[10:04] A
    but there are many government-run
    special agencies like this.
[10:07] A
    And the Secret Church leads them all.
[10:10] Gu
    Just as America calls itself
    the world's policeman,
[10:13] Gu
    the Secret Church wants you to think
    it protects the world's spiritual side.
[10:17] Gu
    The Congresso Vietato is one
    of their special agencies.
[10:21] Gu
    They go around and collect
[10:23] Gu
    things that might create "miracles"
    that would deceive the masses.
[10:28] R
    Looks like they were after the Antiquary.
[10:32] A
    That's why he told me to put up
    a barrier. Not that it worked.
[10:36] Gu
    That was cool, though—
[10:38] Y
    Wait.
[10:40] Y
    Then what will happen to the Antiquary?
[10:44] Gu
    You really think they'll catch him so easily?
[10:46] Gu
    Nothing to worry about.
[10:48] Gu
    But...
[10:49] Gu
    They caught me once, too.
[10:52] Gu
    I was forced to take lessons
    in the morning and at night,
[10:54] Gu
    and do three months of volunteer work.
[10:56] Gu
    That was rough!
[10:58] Gu
    Four hundred years ago,
    it probably would've been...
[11:01] Gu
    But not now.
[11:17] H
    My heart's still pounding.
[11:20] Y
    I couldn't get any studying done.
[11:23] H
    That sucks.
[11:26] Y
    The world's so big...
[11:29] Y
    Flying dinosaurs.
[11:31] Y
    Fish the size of castles.
[11:33] Y
    And now, a Secret Church?
[11:36] Y
    How far am I supposed to go?
[11:38] H
    As far as you can, right?
[11:40] Y
    Don't make it sound so easy.
[11:42] H
    If I make it sound hard, it's still the same.
[11:45] H
    Things happen that not even the
[11:48] H
    amazing people in this building can predict.
[11:52] H
    The world is filled with threats.
[11:54] Y
    Yeah.
[11:56] Y
    Yes.
[11:57] Y
    I'm sure a world
[11:59] Y
    that's filled with threats
    is still waiting for me.
[12:17] Y
    I did it!
[12:23] H
    You did not.
[12:25] H
    "Apologize" is an intransitive verb,
[12:28] H
    so you need "to" before the object, "him."
[12:32] Y
    I see.
[12:32] H
    You came all the way here because you said
[12:36] H
    you couldn't concentrate in the apartment.
[12:38] H
    Work a little harder.
[12:40] Y
    Yeah... I need to work harder.
[12:43] Y
    I'm just a high school student,
    not a genius like you.
[12:47] H
    I'm not a genius.
[12:50] H
    I simply remember every single
    thing I hear in class.
[12:54] Y
    So you really are a genius!
[12:56] H
    If I have to, I'll stay with you all day.
[12:59] H
    Get ready.
[13:01] Y
    Hase!
[13:02] T
    Perfect chance for a photo!
[13:04] Y
    T-Tashiro, you...
[13:07] T
    I see! I knew it!
[13:10] Y
    He's just an old friend!
[13:12] Y
    He's just tutoring me!
[13:16] T
    Oh, really?
[13:19] Y
    Wh-What?
[13:21] H
    Hello. I've known Inaba since third grade.
[13:25] H
    My name is Mizuki Hase.
[13:27] T
    I'm Inaba's classmate, Takako Tashiro!
[13:31] T
    Right now, I can offer you the latest
    top-secret information on Inaba for super cheap.
[13:37] H
    That sounds great.
[13:39] T
    W-Wait!
SIGN    
[13:40] T
    What's "the latest top-secret information"?
[13:43] T
    Hase, don't start swapping
    contact info with Tashiro!
[13:45] T
    What are you showing each other?!
[13:46] Gu
    Sir, please be quiet in the restaurant.
[13:50] Y
    I'm tired...
[13:51] Y
    Really tired.
[13:53] H
    She had a lot of energy.
[13:55] Y
    Yeah, but...
[13:57] H
    Good luck with your tests, Inaba.
[13:59] Y
    Yeah. Thanks for coming today.
[14:11] Y
    I'm back.
[14:11] Gu
    Welcome back, Yushi-kun!
[14:14] Gu
    My package finally arrived.
[14:17] Gu
    I have something that will
    be very useful for you.
[14:21] Y
    Useful?
[14:22] Gu
    Everyone's waiting.
[14:41] Y
    Fujiyuki-sensei!
[14:43] Gu
    Hello, there.
[14:45] Y
    Is this another event for the hospital?
[14:47] Gu
    I'm here to do an appraisal.
[14:49] Y
    An appraisal?
[14:50] Gu
    Of that.
[14:52] Gu
    God of the Moon, Soma.
[14:53] Gu
    The elixir of immortality, Amrita.
[14:57] Y
    The elixir of immortality?
[14:58] Gu
    It makes you super energetic!
[15:00] Gu
    You can stay up all night and study!
[15:04] Gu
    Doctor...
[15:05] Gu
    Well, he isn't entirely wrong,
    but that's mostly fantasy.
[15:08] Gu
    Hey, don't say that!
[15:09] Gu
    Getting this was really hard!
[15:12] Gu
    This is found in the middle of the
    middle of the middle of nowhere.
[15:15] Gu
    My car broke down, the jungle was endless,
[15:18] Gu
    and my rubber boat sprang a leak!
[15:20] Gu
    Take care of your crap!
[15:22] Gu
    And when I finally reached the village,
[15:25] Gu
    the guy who knew about Amrita was long dead.
[15:28] Gu
    And only a shady old lady who'd heard
    a legend knew anything at all.
[15:33] Gi
    Amrita...
[15:35] Gi
    I think I may have heard of it.
[15:39] Gu
    I was so disappointed.
[15:42] Gu
    But I thought to myself, "A man's true
    worth is tested when things are bad!"
[15:47] Gu
    Cheers!
[15:51] Gu
    Hey!
[15:52] Gu
    I think I like this stuff better.
[15:54] Gu
    We're listening.
[15:56] GI
    Ruriko-san, I'll take some salt-baked tuna!
[16:01] Gu
    But I did my best to get her to remember!
[16:06] Gu
    And...
[16:07] Gi
    You're so nice.
[16:10] Gi
    I think it was around here.
[16:13] Gi
    I think this will do.
[16:16] Gu
    Stingy as hell, those Indians!
[16:18] Gu
    No eternal romance or glories
    of the gods for them, huh?
[16:22] Gu
    I ended up paying ten times the average
    annual salary for an Indian.
[16:26] Gu
    So, is it really authentic?
[16:28] Gu
    That's why Fujiyuki-sensei is here.
[16:31] Gu
    I wanted him to look.
[16:34] Gu
    All right.
[16:50] Y
    What language is this?
[17:01] Y
    Letters... Letters cast by light!
[17:03] Y
    The history of this elixir.
[17:05] Y
    Elixir?
[17:06] Gu
    This magic circle can read an item's history.
[17:10] Y
    Read... its history?
[17:12] Gu
    It's called object reading.
[17:15] Gu
    Fujiyuki-sensei's power is an
    even more amazing version.
[17:18] Gu
    He can read it in 3D.
[17:22] Y
    Read letters in 3D?
[17:25] Y
    I have no idea.
[17:28] Y
    But...
[17:28] Y
    Fujiyuki-sensei is kind of cool!
[17:35] Gu
    It seems it's real.
[17:38] Gu
    The real elixir of immortality?!
[17:40] Gu
    I wouldn't say immortality,
[17:42] Gu
    but a powerful, life-extending
    magic has been cast on it.
[17:45] Gu
    The longest-lived person to take
    it lived eight hundred years.
[17:48] Y
    Eight hundred years?
[17:50] Gu
    Like Yaobikuni, who ate mermaid flesh!
[17:53] Gu
    Eight hundred years is close enough
    to immortality for me.
[17:56] Gu
    It was the old woman you met.
[18:00] Gu
    She took the elixir
    from its rightful place.
[18:03] Gu
    She was once a priestess at a temple of Soma.
[18:07] Gu
    Its original holder entrusted it to
    her, so it would not be misused.
[18:12] Gu
    Just like Yaobikuni.
[18:14] Gu
    The priestess protected the elixir of eternal
    life from evil and wandered across the land,
[18:21] Gu
    using it to help people.
[18:24] Gu
    The elixir also had the power to heal.
[18:28] Gu
    Sometimes, she would sell a single drop,
[18:31] Gu
    and use it to help others.
[18:33] Gu
    And one of those legends
    made it into the world, huh?
[18:38] Gu
    Years passed, and people no longer
    believed in the legend of Amrita.
[18:43] Gu
    And at last, she was able to find peace.
[18:47] Gu
    So when someone visited her,
    she would toy with them.
[18:52] Gu
    And it seems...
[18:55] Gu
    Nothing is left inside.
[18:59] Gu
    It isn't?
[18:59] Gu
    Over eight hundred years,
    she must have used it all.
[19:03] Gu
    But it was definitely kept in this vessel.
[19:06] Gu
    No way!
[19:09] Gu
    It's empty! Empty!
[19:12] Gu
    It appears the Soma priestess
    pulled one over on you.
[19:15] Gu
    That...
[19:16] Gu
    Is this really worth so much?
[19:20] Gu
    Then give me some money for it.
[19:23] Gu
    That stupid old woman!
[19:25] Y
    I see.
[19:27] Y
    For years, she's sold empty
    vessels like that.
[19:31] Y
    Even if they were empty,
[19:33] Y
    people would just give up and
    think the legend only a story.
[19:36] Y
    That was what she took advantage of.
[19:39] Y
    Pretty smart.
[19:41] Gu
    She didn't waste those eight
    hundred years, huh?
[19:44] Gu
    A learning experience. Right, Furuhonya-san?
[19:46] Gu
    Damn it all!
[20:00] R
    Amrita...
[20:02] Gu
    It's real.
[20:20] Gu
    Think your lifespan got longer?
[20:23] Gu
    Yeah. By about seven months?
[20:31] Y
    Who cares about seven months?
[20:34] F
    Oh, what is this?
[20:36] Y
    The elixir of immortality. Amrita.
[20:39] Y
    It's empty, so Furuhonya-san gave it to me.
[20:42] Y
    But there may still be a drop or so left.
[20:46] Y
    That's amazing, though.
[20:48] Y
    Living eight hundred years.
[20:50] F
    But immortality is impossible for humans.
[20:55] Y
    I'm sure.
[20:58] Y
    A finite life and an infinite world, huh?
[21:03] F
    Master?
[21:04] Y
    How will I live my life?
[21:08] Y
    Well, it doesn't matter.
    I know what I want to do.
[21:11] Y
    First goal! Work for the prefecture!
[21:12] Y
    Second goal, be a businessman
    at a strict company!
[21:15] Y
    Let's do this!
[21:16] F
    Don't forget the path to becoming a mage.
[21:18] Y
    Right, right.
[21:20] Y
    First, I need to finish studying...
[21:22] Y
    Let's go!
[21:31] Gu
    Look at that cute face, chirp.
[21:32] Gu
    He looks so happy, chirp.
[21:34] Gu
    He must be having a great dream, chirp!
[21:36] ---
    Chirpity-chirp! Chirp!
SIGN    In negotiations, the first moment is very important.
SIGN    Everything depends on your advantage over your opponent.
SIGN    Wow, Hase... You must never lose!
SIGN    Compared to my dad and older sister, I have a lot to learn.
SIGN    Just you wait! I'll show them!
SIGN    So life's tough for you, too?
SIGN    Next time on Elegant Yokai Apartment Life:
SIGN    Burning Student Assembly!
SIGN    Twenty-second Haunting Burning Student Assembly!
SIGN    A historic moment for JTB is about to begin.