E2 - I <3 HIP HOP SAGA

Source: Crunchyroll
Translator:
Editor:
Timer:
QC:
(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:00] C
    
[00:00] Sakura
    Last time on Zombie Land Saga!
[00:02] Sakura
    I'm Sakura Minamoto, a high school girl
    with a heart full of hope and dreams!
[00:05] Sakura
    One day, I died suddenly
    after an unfortunate accident!
[00:07] Sakura
    So sad! But then it's like, good morning!
[00:09] Sakura
    Wait, how's this happening?!
[00:10] Sakura
    I got chased by scary people,
    a policeman shot me,
[00:13] Sakura
    and this weirdo is telling me
    to become an idol and save Saga...
[00:15] Sakura
    Wait, I'm a zombie?!
[00:17] Sakura
    Everything's gone totally crazy!
[00:18] Sakura
    What the heck is going to happen now?!
SIGN    Zombie 0 The Legendary... Tae Yamada
SIGN    Zombie 2 The Legendary Biker Boss!! Saki Nikaido
SIGN    Zombie 3 The Legendary Heisei Idol!! Ai Mizuno
SIGN    Zombie 4 The Legendary Showa Idol!! Junko Konno
SIGN    Zombie 5 The Legendary Courtesan Yugiri
SIGN    Zombie 6 The Legendary Child Actress Prodigy!! Lily Hoshikawa
[00:38] Sakura
    They really did snap out of it
    after yesterday's show...
SIGN    Zombie 1
    Sakura Minamoto
[00:43] Sakura
    Well, except Tae-chan.
[00:51] Kotaro
    Well, ladies, congratulations on waking up.
[01:02] Kotaro
    I said congratulations!
SIGN    Mysterious Idol Producer!! Kotaro Tatsumi!!
[01:10] Kotaro
    I am the mysterious idol producer,
    the amazing Kotaro Tatsumi-sama!
[01:15] Kotaro
    And that being the case, you are all
    going to become idols to save Saga!
[01:18] Kotaro
    And boom.
SIGN    Ultimate Idol Legends
[01:20] Kotaro
    We're going to use your legendary qualities
[01:23] Kotaro
    to turn Saga into the talk of the nation!
[01:36] ---
    
SIGN    Episode 2
[01:38] OP Narration
    Even if we're dead,
     we want to make our dreams come true...
[01:40] OP Narration
    No, even if we're dead,
    we will make them come true!
[01:43] OP Narration
    Is that despair? Or is it hope?
[01:45] OP Narration
    We'll overcome a harsh fate, and even
    if we don't have a pulse, we'll press on!
[01:49] OP Narration
    Because that is our saga!
[03:04] Saki
    So, like...
[03:06] Saki
    I don't get any of this.
[03:07] Kotaro
    Oh, what's up, Saki?
[03:11] Saki
    I died, right?
[03:13] Saki
    So how come I'm not dead?
[03:15] Kotaro
    What, you seriously don't know?
[03:19] Kotaro
    Use your head for a second!
[03:21] Saki
    Like I said, I don't know what the hell—
[03:22] Kotaro
    Because you're a zombie!
[03:24] Kotaro
    You're a zombie, so you're up
    and about, obviously!
[03:27] Kotaro
    What kinda normal human has a green face?!
[03:30] Kotaro
    Listen up. You all died and became zombies,
[03:34] Kotaro
    and zombies have no place
    in our modern society!
[03:38] Kotaro
    I'm offering you freaks a place
    to belong by turning you into idols,
[03:43] Kotaro
    so your dumbasses better appreciate it!
[03:47] Kotaro
    So, if you zombies are going to be idols,
[03:50] Kotaro
    what are you going to need the most?
[03:52] Kotaro
    Go ahead, Sakura!
[03:53] Sakura
    Uh, I dunno...
[03:56] Sakura
    Oh, we'll need to not bite people?
[03:57] Kotaro
    It's keeping the fact you're zombies a secret,
    you stupid freaking zombie!
SIGN    Zombie Movies
SIGN    A 5-Scene Highlight Reel!
[04:11] Kotaro
    There. As you can see,
     the zombies were obliterated.
[04:14] Kotaro
    So let's do a good job being idols,
    so no one finds out the truth.
[04:18] Kotaro
    Referring to yourselves with numbers
    is a part of that strategy.
[04:21] Ai
    I get that we're zombies now,
[04:24] Ai
    but I don't get why we have to be idols.
[04:27] Kotaro
    To save Saga!
[04:29] Ai
    Revitalizing a prefecture
    as local idols? In Saga?
[04:32] Kotaro
    What, are you scared?
[04:35] Ai
    It's obviously not going to work.
[04:37] Ai
    Looking like this and trying to save Saga...
[04:40] Ai
    And I'm not even from Saga!
[04:43] Kotaro
    Saga doesn't sweat the details!
[04:46] Kotaro
    Even if you don't know a damn thing about it!
[04:48] Ai
    Hey, I know about Saga!
[04:50] Kotaro
    Why don't you tell me what you know?
[04:53] Ai
    It's... in Kyushu!
[04:55] Kotaro
    Oh, very impressive!
    That was super good, Ai-chan!
[05:00] Ai
    Well, what exactly do you
    know about Saga, then?!
[05:03] Kotaro
    I know everything!
    Everything there is to know.
[05:07] Ai
    What's Saga's population?
[05:08] Kotaro
    I know that down to the tiniest decimal!
[05:11] Ai
    Well, go on.
[05:15] Kotaro
    It's... small.
[05:17] Kotaro
    On the smaller side.
[05:18] Ai
    But specifically—
[05:19] Kotaro
    Who the hell knows, stupid?!
[05:22] Kotaro
    You wanna know stats,
    look it up on Wikiia!
[05:25] Kotaro*
    Or is that what you think?!
    You think I'm Wikiia?!
[05:27] Kotaro*
    Nope, nope!
[05:29] Kotaro
    I'm the guy who's gonna make you into idols,
[05:31] Kotaro
    Kotaro Tatsumi-san, that's me!
[05:36] Kotaro
    I chose you all,
[05:37] Kotaro
    and I know that you will send shockwaves
    through society as Saga's idols.
[05:41] Kotaro
    The first step for that occurs
    tomorrow at Saga Castle,
[05:45] Kotaro
    when you participate in the
    Shachi-no-mon Public Concert.
[05:48] Ai
    This is so clearly not going to work...
[05:49] Kotaro
    That's not clear at all!
[05:51] Kotaro
    You just have to pull it off,
    like yesterday's show.
[05:53] Ai
    Wait, what are you talking about?
[05:56] Kotaro
    You all had the house jumping.
[05:57] Kotaro
    Right, Sakura?
[05:59] Sakura
    Uh, sorta... Sure.
[06:04] Kotaro
    Now, let's get cracking on those lessons!
[06:07] Kotaro
    Good, good, good, good, okay!
[06:15] Sakura
    How the heck did this happen?
[06:15] Kotaro
    Good, good, good, good, okay!
SIGN    Dance Lessons
[06:19] Kotaro
    Good, good, good, good, okay!
[06:24] Junko
    S-Stop that, please!
[06:27] Sakura
    There's no way we can
    pull this off right away.
[06:27] Kotaro
    Good, good, good, good, okay!
[06:32] Kotaro
    Good, good, good, good, okay!
[06:37] Sakura
    She's really staring at me...
[06:44] Sakura
    Oof!
[06:49] Junko
    E-Excuse me... Wh-What do you want?
[06:55] Sakura
    Ai-chan was an idol, wasn't she?
[06:58] Sakura
    I know I've seen her somewhere before.
[07:00] Saki
    Hey!
[07:01] Saki
    You're Sakura, right?
[07:02] Sakira
    Y-Yes...
[07:04] Saki
    Where you from?
[07:06] Saki
    I'm asking what middle school you went to!
[07:08] Sakura
    Uh... Well, I don't remember.
[07:13] Saki
    You screw with me and I'll kill you, got it?
[07:15] Sakura
    I-It's true, I really don't remember
    anything from before I was a zombie!
[07:19] Saki
    Man, just remember it!
    Make yourself remember!
[07:25] Saki
    And why the hell are you
    taking this seriously?
[07:28] Saki
    You some kinda goody two-shoes?!
[07:29] Saki
    You want an ass-kicking?!
[07:31] Sakura
    Not exactly...
[07:33] Sakura
    It's just... since we have a show to do...
[07:36] Saki
    We oughta do a rally.
SIGN    Biker Rally
[07:40] Saki
    Good to see ya!
[07:45] Saki
    This is so... Damn it!
[07:47] Saki
    I bet my Tamagotchi is dead by now.
[07:56] Sakura
    That was so scary...
[08:02] Sakura
    H-Huh? Ai-chan?
[08:20] Ai
    A zombie dog?!
SIGN    Zombie Land Saga
SIGN    Zombie Land Saga
[08:43] Ai
    What is with this place?
[08:46] Sakura
    Ai-chan?
[08:47] Sakura
    Ai-chan, are you around?
[08:59] Sakura
    Ai-chan! Oh, and Junko-chan.
[09:02] Sakura
    What are you two doing?
[09:06] Ai
    Isn't it obvious? I'm leaving.
[09:06] (Junko
    I'm leaving this place...
[09:09] Ai
    Why should I have to put
    up with this nonsense?
[09:13] Sakura
    No, no, no you can't!
[09:15] Sakura
    It's dangerous out there!
[09:17] Ai
    You mean like that video he showed us?
[09:19] Ai
    Nothing like that's actually
    going to happen.
[09:20] Sakura
    I got shot, for real!
[09:23] Junko
    That Tae girl frightens me...
[09:25] Junko
    I have no idea what she's thinking,
    and she bites...
[09:28] Sakura
    I felt the same way, but it's okay!
    Once you get used to it!
[09:32] Sakura
    Ai-chan, wait up!
[09:33] Ai
    Let go!
[09:34] Sakura
    No!
[09:46] Sakura
    I'm sorry, Ai-chan... but it's dangerous.
    Let's go back.
[09:49] Ai
    Give it a rest.
[09:50] ---
    
[09:50] Junko
    Where exactly are you going?
[09:52] Ai
    Tokyo.
[09:54] Sakura
    Tokyo?!
[09:55] Sakura
    You can't, we don't have any money...
[09:57] Sakura
    And someone's gonna explode your head!
[09:59] Junko
    Please don't make this worse!
[10:01] Sakura
    Or maybe they'll punch it to mush!
[10:03] Ai
    You can go back by yourself, okay?
[10:09] Sakura
    Ai-chan, let's go back...
[10:10] Ai
    Do you seriously think
    zombies can pull off being idols?
[10:14] Ai
    Why are you agreeing to this all so easily?
[10:16] Ai
    He's got you dancing to his tune.
     Are you stupid?
[10:19] Sakura
    Maybe I am...
[10:22] Sakura
    Maybe I haven't really thought it through...
[10:25] Sakura
    But...
[10:26] Sakura
    The other day,
    when we all went on stage together,
[10:28] Sakura
    I felt really strange...
[10:31] Sakura
    Like my heart was buzzing...
    I was really happy.
[10:36] Sakura
    I don't remember life before
    becoming a zombie,
[10:38] Sakura
    but I get the impression I've felt
    something like that before.
[10:42] Sakura
    I want to feel that way again...
[10:44] Sakura
    I want to know what it really is.
[10:47] Sakura
    So I want to get on stage again... That's all.
[10:59] B
    Yo, yo, yo, yo!
[11:01] C
    Check, check, check!
[11:03] Sakura
    Those guys are kinda scary...
[11:05] Ai
    Rappers?
[11:07] A
    Mic check, yo!
[11:08] A
    Yo, check it! These chicks
    are out really late,
[11:12] A
    maybe they're like us, cruising for a date?
[11:14] B
    Yo, screw you man, you make me do the work,
[11:17] B
    when you push me around,
    you act like a jerk!
[11:20] C
    Yo, yo, yo! How about you
    let me hit them up then?
[11:24] C
    If you end up asking,
     they'll wanna be "just friends."
[11:27] Junko
    They're coming this way! They're coming
    this way! They're coming this way...
[11:29] Sakura
    What do we do?! What do we do?!
    What do we do?!
[11:34] C
    You girls wanna do some karaoke?
    A little song and dance?
[11:37] C
    We know a place open late
    if you don't got plans!
[11:41] C
    If you don't got money,
    it'll be our treat. Okay?
[11:49] Cop
    You're up late boys, wanna tell me why?
[11:52] Cop
    Or do you think I'm gonna walk on by?
[11:54] Sakura
    That voice...
[11:56] A
    Damn it, man.
[11:57] A
    We didn't even do anything.
[11:59] Cop
    You wanna pick up girls, is that your game?
[12:01] Cop
    Cuz I can throw your butts in jail,
    it's all the same!
[12:04] Ai
    Officer! Please, help!
[12:07] Sakura
    Ai-chan, don't!
[12:14] Cop
    A-Again?!
[12:15] B
    Whoa, hold up! This is not happening!
[12:17] C
    She's messed up! I'm freaking out!
[12:17] Sakura
    Come on, Ai-chan!
[12:33] Rappers
    Oh, no! This is bad!
[12:35] Rappers
    S-S-Save us!
[12:45] Kotaro
    Good, good, very good.
[12:47] Kotaro
    Good, good, very good.
[12:49] Kotaro
    Good, good, very good.
[12:52] Kotaro
    Good— Wait, no, do it good.
[12:55] Kotaro
    Okay, do it good from the start this time.
[12:58] Kotaro
    Good, good, very good.
[13:00] Kotaro
    Good, good, very good.
[13:01] Junko
    We were really shot at yesterday, weren't we?
[13:04] Ai
    I thought I was going to die.
[13:06] Junko
    Well, we're dead already.
[13:07] Kotaro
    All right, that was good!
[13:10] (Flashback) B
    Whoa, hold up! This is not happening!
[13:12] Kotaro
    Okay, from the beginning...
[13:16] Sakura
    We better be careful tomorrow...
[13:18] Saki
    Hey!
[13:23] Saki
    You wanna die?
[13:24] Sakura
    Sorry for interrupting.
[13:25] Saki
    Hold it!
[13:29] Saki
    Why the hell do you listen
    to shades back there?
[13:32] Sakura
    Y-You mean Kotaro-san?
[13:35] Saki
    I'm not like you!
[13:37] Saki
    I do what I want, and I only got
    respect for people with guts!
[13:41] Sakura
    What is it that you want to do, Saki-chan?
[13:43] Saki
    Take the whole damn country over.
[13:45] Sakura
    Why?
[13:50] Sakura
    Saki-chan!
[13:52] Sakura
    Do you want to, just once, try and—
[13:55] Saki
    Hell no, I don't.
[13:57] Saki
    Damn it, there's a reason I waited
    until the old fart was gone.
SIGN    11th Shachi-no-Mon Public Concert
SIGN    Featuring Deizu Middle School Woodwind Instrument Club Trio Dea Po Ron Hasetsu Jazz Orchestra Death Musume Public Concert
[14:08] Kotaro
    The important thing isn't
    technique, it's heart!
[14:13] Kotaro
    Put your own heart into it,
    and you can color other people's hearts!
[14:16] Kotaro
    That's makeup.
[14:17] Sakura
    I'm sorry, I didn't catch any of that.
[14:20] Saki
    Holy crap! This might actually work!
[14:23] Lily
    Yugirin, you're so pretty!
[14:25] Yugiri
    Am I, now?
[14:27] Yugiri
    You're quite lovely yourself, Lily-han.
[14:31] Sakura
    I wonder if they're gonna be okay...
[14:34] Staff
    Wait right over here.
[14:36] Death Dude A
    Is there seriously gonna be a
    death metal show in this place?
[14:40] Death Dude B
    All I see are old fogeys!
SIGN    Performer Waiting Room
[14:42] Sakura
    Everyone, make sure they don't
    find out we're zombies!
[14:44] Saki
    That'll be a piece of cake!
[14:46] Saki
    There's no way they can tell!
[14:48] Saki
    Super easy!
[14:51] Sakura
    Saki-chan!
[14:52] Saki
    And, to be honest?
[14:54] Saki
    Right now?
[14:55] Saki
    I am hot as hell!
[14:57] Sakura
    I get it, I get it!
[14:58] Staff
    Sorry about the wait.
[14:59] Staff
    Could the members of Green Face
    head to the stage.
[15:04] Sakura
    Uh, actually, we're Death Musume...
[15:07] Kotaro
    Starting today you're Green Face!
[15:13] Sakura
    Kotaro-sa—
[15:14] Kotaro
    Listen up!
[15:15] Kotaro
    You've gotta show these people
    the Green Face of your hearts!
[15:19] Sakura
    I have no idea what that means!
[15:20] Kotaro
    Okay, get going!
[15:22] Kotaro
    Go, go, go, go!
[15:30] Sakura
    Tae-chan!
[15:32] Sakura
    I-It's nice to meet you!
[15:34] Sakura
    We're Green Musume!
[15:36] Sakura
    Er, Green Face, I mean!
[15:38] Death Dude A
    They got some kinda environmental
    thing going on now?!
[15:41] Death Dude B
    What happened to Death Musume?
[15:42] Death Dude B
    You girls don't do metal anymore?
[15:44] Sakura
    B-By the way, I'm Number 1,
[15:46] Sakura
    and this girl is Number 0,
    and then going down the line...
[15:50] Sakura
    Number 2, Number 3, Number 4...
[15:53] Sakura
    Er, Number 5, and Number 6.
[15:57] Sakura
    Green Face is an idol group
     trying to revitalize Saga.
[16:02] Sakura
    Our singing and dancing are a little
    green too, but we practiced hard!
[16:08] Sakura
    L-Let's do it...
[16:10] Sakura
    Yeah!
[16:15] Kotaro
    Music. Come on.
[16:37] Death Dude A
    What is this?
[16:54] Sakura
    The— Tae-chan?!
[16:59] Sakura
    No!
[17:11] Lily
    There it goes!
[17:18] Squid Guy
    Huh...
[17:23] Squid Guy
    Want some?
[17:29] Sakura
    Ta-da! It's a trick, a little trick!
[17:32] Sakura
    A little Handead Power!
[17:38] Sakura
    Saki-chan, catch!
[17:44] Saki
    Does that hurt?
[17:48] Sakura
    Okay, this another trick!
[17:50] Sakura
    It's Undead Power!
[17:53] Crowd
    That's impressive!
[17:59] Sakura
    Saki, over here!
[18:01] Saki
    It's not like it's your head!
[18:04] Crowd
    That's amazing, girls!
[18:06] Sakura
    We seriously can't keep doing this...
[18:09] Saki
    Screw you!
[18:12] Sakura
    They're gonna figure it out!
[18:18] Saki
    Man, your head would pop off
    with your helmet like this!
[18:29] Sakura
    Could you try to hide the fact we're zombies?!
[18:34] Sakura
    You're not even trying to hide it!
[18:36] Sakura
    What kind of idol's head comes off?!
[18:38] Sakura
    How could we possibly be human?!
[18:41] Sakura
    What kind of human can do that?!
[18:44] Sakura
    Is your brain rotting too,
    you stupid zombie?!
[18:47] Saki
    All right, bitch, you're on!
[18:48] Saki
    You've got some guts, and now?
[18:50] Saki
    I'm gonna kick your ass all
    the way to Hoto Shrine!
[18:52] Sakura
    If they find out we're zombies,
    we're extra dead!
[18:54] Sakura
    Are any of my words getting
    through your head?!
[18:57] Sakura
    If you can't take this for real,
    then you're the zombie
[18:59] Sakura
    whose deal will be head
    trauma that don't heal!
[19:02] Sakura
    How many more times before you regret it?!
[19:05] Sakura
    How many cops shoot us
    until you finally get it?!
[19:14] Saki
    You think I'm just gonna roll
    over for you and agree?
[19:16] Saki
    I died riding and now you want
    me to be an idol zombie?!
[19:20] Saki
    If the other choice is acting
    like a suck-up snot,
[19:22] Saki
    you coulda left me in the ground,
    I'd rather rot!
[19:25] Yugiri
    Yo!
[19:27] Yugiri
    Hup, hup!
[19:28] Yugiri
    Yo!
[19:29] Lily
    Me, too!
[19:29] Yugiri
    Hup, hup!
[19:31] Yugiri
    Yo!
[19:32] Yugiri
    Hup, hup!
[19:33] Yugiri
    Yo!
[19:35] Sakura
    I can't even remember who I was
    before this all went down,
[19:38] Sakura
    but on stage, I felt something click...
[19:40] Sakura
    I'm no goody-two shoes,
    and I'm nobody's clown.
[19:43] Sakura
    I'm just trying to do more
    than be a worthless brick!
[19:45] Saki
    Who cares if you've got
    memories in your head?
[19:48] Saki
    You won't get to see your friends,
    and your Tamagotchi's long dead!
[19:52] Saki
    We're done, got it?!
[19:54] Saki
    Nothing's gonna change about that!
[19:55] Sakura
    Hell no, we're not done!
[19:57] Sakura
    We're just getting started!
[19:58] Sakura
    We've got to keep moving ahead!
    Or we'll just be the walking dead!
[20:01] Sakura
    Even if we have died,
     we only stop when we decide,
[20:04] Sakura
    so stop running, and ride again!
[20:05] Sakura
    Kick some ass, captain!
[20:10] Sakura
    And that goes for the two
    of you standing over there!
[20:13] Sakura
    Gonna act like losers when
    you're the celebrity pair?
[20:15] Sakura
    You've got all the talent in the world,
[20:18] Sakura
    but the two of you girls are giving up
     without giving it a whirl!
[20:20] Sakura
    Quit coming up with excuses
    about why you can't win!
[20:23] Sakura
    If you've got even a little chance,
    try to do that then!
[20:24] Lily
    Yo, yo!
[20:25] Sakura
    Even a zombie can do it if she tries,
[20:28] Sakura
    and when you prove it,
    it shows dead souls can rise!
[20:31] Sakura
    Yo, that goes for all you old folks, too!
[20:34] Sakura
    Tell anyone who talks about
    golden years to go screw!
[20:35] Lily
    Yo, yo, yo!
[20:36] Sakura
    Napping on the porch in
    the afternoon? Not you!
[20:38] Sakura
    They're worried about a low rate of birth?
[20:39] Sakura
    Show them all what silver's worth!
[20:42] Sakura
    If they wanna blame you
    for everything anyway,
[20:44] Sakura
    keep active and show you're here to stay!
[20:46] Sakura
    Bang!
[21:00] Death Dude A
    I've... I've never seen
    anything like that before...
[21:03] Death Dude B
    It really looked like
    her head came off, too.
[21:10] Sakura
    Their reaction...
[21:13] Saki
    For real?
[21:18] Sakura
    We did it again...
[21:20] Saki
    Hey, Sakura!
[21:21] Sakura
    Y-Yes.
[21:23] Sakura
    Sorry about earlier...
[21:25] Saki
    You've got guts after all!
[21:27] Saki
    Never thought you'd start
    rapping like that! I love it!
[21:31] Sakura
    Huh...?
[21:32] Saki
    Plus that egg-looking head of yours
    reminds me of my Tamagotchi.
[21:37] Sakura
    Wait, I look like an egg?!
[21:40] Saki
    Idols, huh...
[21:42] Saki
    Might be a decent way to take over,
     come to think of it.
[21:46] Sakura
    Saki-chan.
[21:47] Sakura
    Today wasn't very idol-ish, though.
[21:50] Staff
    Well, that was amazing.
[21:52] Staff
    Please come again.
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
SIGN    Guerrilla Show!
[23:26] Saki
    Saki here!
[23:27] Saki
    If we're doing this,
    we're going all the way to the top!
[23:30] Saki
    And we're gonna take the rip-roaring
    hot blooded approach!
SIGN    The Mibu Wolves
[23:32] Saki
    Next time on episode 3 of Zombie
    Land Saga: DEAD OR LIVE SAGA.
SIGN    Episode 3: DEAD OR LIVE SAGA
[23:36] Saki
    Watch it or get your ass kicked!