E1 - Good Morning SAGA

Source: Crunchyroll
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(Please feel free to edit the speaker names if incomplete or inaccurate. Names are handled on a best-effort basis depending on the info on the source file. Dialogue is left as is.)
[00:08] ---
    To a place where we'll feel the excitement!
[00:18] ---
    Fantastic!
[00:19] ---
    Just fall in love!
[00:23] ---
    Just fall in love!
[00:25] Sakura
    I'm Sakura Minamoto!
[00:27] Sakura
    I'm starting my second
    year of high school today!
[00:31] Sakura
    Usually, I'm kind of a klutz, and there are
    times when I don't think I've got it together...
[00:42] Sakura
    But it isn't gonna be like that anymore!
SIGN    1-48-52 Haneda Southwest, Suginami, Tokyo ZLS Corporation Inc. New Member Audition Submissions C/O Audition Office
[00:48] Sakura
    I'm gonna be the girl I want to be!
[00:57] Sakura
    That way, I know...
[01:04] Sakura
    There are gonna be days full of thrills
    and excitement waiting for me!
[01:11] Sakura
    I'm going now—
[04:48] Sakura
    What do I do? What do I do?!
[05:36] Sakura
    I made it...
[05:38] Sakura
    I think I made it out.
SIGN    Machida River
SIGN    Saga Prefecture
[05:44] Sakura
    Saga...?
[05:48] Sakura
    Am I in Saga?
[05:49] Cop
    Hey, sweetheart, you can't be out this late!
SIGN    Saga Police
[05:53] Cop
    What's the matter?
[05:55] Cop
    You looking to get arrested?
[05:56] Cop
    'Cuz I'll arrest you!
[05:58] Cop
    Personally, I want to go home.
    I'm soaked down to my underwear!
[06:02] Sakura
    Officer, please, help!
[06:14] Sakura
    Wha... you...
[06:17] Sakura
    Are you oka—
[06:18] Cop
    Stay back!
[06:20] Cop
    What the hell are you?!
[06:22] Sakura
    Wha?
[07:03] Cop
    A zombie?
[07:32] Sakura
    What just happened?
[07:42] Sakura
    What the hell?
[07:44] Sakura
    Why am I—
[07:47] Sakura
    I can't remember!
[07:48] Sakura
    Not a thing!
[07:50] Sakura
    What am I?!
[07:51] Kotaro
    You're Sakura Minamoto.
[07:56] Sakura
    The guy from before...
[07:57] Kotaro
    You died ten years ago.
[08:01] Sakura
    Say what?
[08:02] Kotaro
    But you're back again now, as a zombie.
[08:05] Sakura
    Dead?
[08:06] Sakura
    Zombie?
[08:07] Kotaro
    And from now on, as Zombie 1,
    you will work with your team to save Saga!
[08:15] Sakura
    Um... I'm sorry. I have
    no idea what you're saying.
[08:20] Kotaro
    You'll figure it out soon,
    whether you want to or not.
[08:22] Kotaro
    Listen to me.
[08:23] Kotaro
    From now on, you need to do what I tell you.
[08:26] Kotaro
    If you do, there'll be no problem.
[08:31] Sakura
    Why?
[08:32] Kotaro
    My name is Kotaro Tatsumi.
[08:34] Sakura
    It's the strangest thing... He's...
[08:38] Kotaro
    I'm the man who will make you into an idol!
[08:42] Sakura
    Why does he...
[08:44] Sakura
    ...have squid in his pocket?
SIGN    Zombie Land Saga
SIGN    Saga Prefecture
[09:14] Kotaro
    Okay, ladies, good morning!
[09:26] Kotaro
    I said good morning!
[09:29] Sakura
    Good... mor... ning?
[09:33] Kotaro
    You need to mind your manners.
[09:34] Kotaro
    You can't get any respect without them.
[09:37] Kotaro
    Look at the others.
[09:38] Kotaro
    No one's acknowledging you.
[09:42] Kotaro
    Hey there, Romero.
[09:43] Kotaro
    Good job wrangling the girls again today.
SIGN    Let's not feed dried squid to dogs
[09:52] Kotaro
    And so, here we are...
[09:54] Kotaro
    Let's work hard to make you into the
    greatest idols, starting today!
[10:01] Sakura
    E-Excuse me...
[10:02] Kotaro
    Go ahead!
[10:03] Kotaro
    And might I say, Sakura,
    you're looking pretty healthy today.
[10:05] Sakura
    I just... want to confirm something...
[10:08] Kotaro
    Bring it on. Hit me.
[10:10] Sakura
    I'm... dead, right?
[10:13] Kotaro
    Sure are. You're Zombie 1, that's you.
[10:15] Sakura
    I'm wondering... how I became a zombie...
[10:18] Kotaro
    Come on.
[10:19] Kotaro
    Haven't you seen a zombie movie before?
[10:22] Sakura
    I have, for the record.
[10:23] Kotaro
    Well, there you go then.
[10:30] Sakura
    That's it?
[10:32] Kotaro
    Does there have to be more to it?!
[10:34] Kotaro
    A little bit of this, a little bit of that,
    and bang, you're out of the grave, right?!
[10:37] Kotaro
    Isn't that all you really need for zombies?!
[10:42] Kotaro
    Is that all you wanted to ask?
[10:45] Sakura
    No, well, I also...
[10:47] Sakura
    Why am I going to be an idol?
[10:49] Kotaro
    To save Saga.
[10:51] Sakura
    By being an idol?
[10:52] Kotaro
    That's right.
[10:54] Kotaro
    In this day and age, regional idols
    are becoming a thing of the past.
[10:59] Kotaro
    But because of that,
    the competition has died out as well.
[11:01] Kotaro
    You're all going to capitalize
    on that and save Saga,
[11:04] Kotaro
    which is itself on the verge
     of becoming a thing of the past.
[11:08] Kotaro
    And boom.
SIGN    Zombie Land Saga Project
[11:10] Kotaro
    We call it the Zombie Land
     Saga Project, baby!
[11:15] Sakura
    But... I don't even remember
    anything from when I was alive.
[11:20] Sakura
    So asking me to be an idol or save Saga...
[11:24] Kotaro
    No need to worry.
[11:25] Kotaro
    The others have even more baggage than you.
[11:29] Sakura
    Uh, and they are...?
[11:32] Kotaro
    Curious?
[11:33] Sakura
    Well, yes...
[11:35] Sakura
    I mean, this girl's bitten me
    thirteen times since this morning.
[11:40] Kotaro
    They're legends.
[11:43] Sakura
    Legends?
[11:45] Kotaro
    That's right.
[11:48] Kotaro
    They're the legendary girls I have chosen
     and revived to save Saga.
[11:54] Kotaro
    And with you, they will
    form the ultimate team!
[11:59] Kotaro
    At the turn of the century she conquered
    all of Kyushu with her gang, Dorami!
SIGN    Dorami's Legendary Biker Boss, Saki Nikaido
[12:03] Kotaro
    The legendary biker boss, Saki Nikaido!
[12:08] Kotaro
    This girl gave rise to the 1980s idol boom
     and was in a class of her own!
[12:12] Kotaro
    The legendary Showa idol, Junko Konno!
SIGN    Legendary Showa Idol, Junko Konno
[12:17] Kotaro
    From the turbulent time spanning the
    death of the shogunate to the Meiji era,
[12:19] Kotaro
    this woman was there at
    the moment of revolution!
SIGN    Legendary Courtesan, Yugiri
[12:21] Kotaro
    The legendary courtesan, Yugiri!
[12:25] Kotaro
    After a major break out on
    a long-running period drama,
[12:27] Kotaro
    she managed to leave her mark on the
    prime-time lineup of every network!
SIGN    Legendary Child Actress Prodigy, Lily Hoshikawa
[12:29] Kotaro
    The legendary child actress
    prodigy, Lily Hoshikawa!
[12:34] Kotaro
    During the warring idol period
    following the year 2000,
[12:37] Kotaro
    she was the implacable center for
    the ruling unit, Iron Frill!
[12:41] Kotaro
    The legendary Heisei idol, Ai Mizuno!
SIGN    Legendary Heisei Idol, Ai Mizuno
[12:45] Sakura
    Wait... isn't she...
SIGN    
    The Legendary
    Tae Yamada
[12:47] Kotaro
    The legendary Tae Yamada!
[12:50] Kotaro
    And they will be joining you on your—
[12:52] Sakura
    Wait a second! Just a second!
[12:55] Sakura
    That last one...
[12:56] Kotaro
    The legendary Tae Yamada!
SIGN    The Legendary Tae Yamada
[12:59] Sakura
    I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you.
[13:02] Sakura
    The legendary...
[13:03] Kotaro
    Tae Yamada!
SIGN    The Legendary Tae Yamada
[13:05] Sakura
    I mean, isn't there... anything else?
[13:09] Kotaro
    Does there have to be?!
[13:11] Sakura
    But what's her legend about—
[13:12] Kotaro
    Who says a legend has to be about anything?!
[13:15] Sakura
    Then isn't she just a normal zom—
[13:17] Kotaro
    What makes you so legendary, then?!
[13:19] Kotaro
    Go on, tell me!
[13:20] Kotaro
    See, not a damn thing!
[13:21] Kotaro
    From now on, you're the only
    one I won't call legendary!
[13:25] Kotaro
    That being said, at the moment,
    they're all totally normal zombies.
[13:30] Kotaro
    They haven't woken up, after all.
[13:32] Sakura
    They need to wake up?
[13:33] Kotaro
    That's right.
[13:34] Kotaro
    I figure that with a little bit
    of stimulation, like you had,
[13:37] Kotaro
    they'll eventually regain
    their consciousness.
[13:40] Sakura
    Stimulation?!
[13:41] Sakura
    What happened to me?!
[13:45] Kotaro
    That being said, tonight you're all going
    to put on a very stimulating performance!
[13:49] Sakura
    Don't try to brush—
[13:51] Sakura
    Wait, perform?
[13:52] Kotaro
    Your first performance...
[13:55] Kotaro
    is tonight!
[14:16] Sakura
    Hang on!
[14:17] Crowd
    It's a bunch of chicks!
[14:41] Sakura
    This isn't even kinda idol-like!
[14:43] Kotaro
    This was the only place that
    had an open stage policy.
[14:45] Sakura
    What the hell?!
[14:47] Sakura
    Why are we here?!
[14:48] Crew
    Hey, hey, hey! No, no, no!
[14:50] Crew
    You can't go gnawing on that!
[14:52] Crew
    It costs a lot of money!
[14:58] Kotaro
    So, what do you think of the special
    makeup skills I learned in Hollywood?
[15:01] Kotaro
    Nobody's noticed that they're zombies.
[15:03] Sakura
    That isn't the real issue here!
[15:07] Sakura
    Though, it's impressive...
[15:09] Kotaro
    And yet you went and passed out
    yesterday after I tried it on you.
[15:14] Kotaro
    What's your problem, anyway?
[15:16] ---
    Let's go!
[15:22] Sakura
    Tae-chan?
SIGN    Zero
[15:26] Sakura
    Wh-Wh-What, what, what is this?!
    What's going on?!
SIGN    Five
[15:41] Sakura
    No, no, no!
[15:43] Sakura
    They're gonna get mad at us again!
[15:50] Kotaro
    You've got this.
[15:51] Sakura
    No, I don't! That should be obvious!
[15:53] Kotaro
    I don't get it. What are
    you so worried about?
[15:56] Sakura
    What am I...
[15:57] Sakura
    How can I do anything but worry?!
[15:59] Sakura
    I'm the only one who's awake!
[16:01] Sakura
    And it's really obvious the others are zombies!
[16:03] Sakura
    And isn't a performance the kind of thing
    you gotta do a bunch of practice for?!
[16:06] Sakura
    What exactly are you expecting us to do?!
[16:09] Kotaro
    Just trust your instincts.
[16:13] Sakura
    Tae-chan might bite somebody.
[16:16] Kotaro
    A little biting never hurt anybody.
[16:18] Sakura
    Are you stupid?
[16:19] Kotaro
    Listen up!
[16:21] Kotaro
    Nobody in that crowd is expecting
    a damn thing from you all.
[16:26] Kotaro
    That goes for me, too. Not even a little bit.
[16:29] Sakura
    Then—
[16:30] Kotaro
    And that's why!
[16:32] Kotaro
    That's why you have to blow
    their expectations away!
[16:34] Kotaro
    You will all turn Saga...
[16:36] Kotaro
    No, you'll turn the entire
    world on its head!
[16:40] Sakura
    We will...?
[16:44] Tech
    Death Musume (Name Pending), you're on!
[16:47] Kotaro
    Have some faith.
[16:48] Kotaro
    You can do this.
[16:51] Sakura
    Kotaro-san...
[16:53] Sakura
    No, I can't.
[16:56] Kotaro
    Okay, it's a go!
[16:58] Kotaro
    Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
[17:07] Sakura
    U-Um, well, good evening...
[17:10] Sakura
    W-W-W-We are D-Death Musume!
[17:13] Wig
    Come on, spit it out, girlie!
[17:15] Wig
    What are idols doing here, anyway?!
[17:17] Hochu
    You better not be making fun of death metal!
[17:20] Sakura
    R-Right!
[17:21] Sakura
    Y-You can all call me Number 1.
[17:25] Wig
    No one cares! Get started already!
[17:27] Hochu
    It's just gonna be crap, anyway!
[17:30] Sakura
    I-I'm sorry!
[17:31] Sakura
    They're so mad!
[17:32] Sakura
    What do I do? What do I do?!
[17:46] Sakura
    I knew it!
[17:48] Wig
    A stage dive?!
[17:49] Wig
    They haven't even started playing yet!
[17:56] Wig
    This is getting kinda hairy!
[17:57] Wig
    I better not get in trouble for this!
[17:59] Sakura
    Cut that out!
[18:01] Sakura
    Come on!
[18:06] Hochu
    I can't believe they started
    with trying to mosh...
[18:10] Wig
    That chick's actually kinda brutal.
[18:12] Sakura
    I knew it.
[18:19] Sakura
    Ugh, this is a huge mess!
[18:26] Sakura
    Huh?
[18:27] Kotaro
    Music, come on!
[18:31] Crowd
    Huh?
[18:33] Sakura
    What's this music?!
[18:34] Wig
    What the hell?
[18:36] Wig
    They're actually playing the real thing!
[18:38] Hochu
    This music's for them?
[18:40] Wig
    I like it!
[18:41] Wig
    Show us what you got, little girl!
[19:07] Sakura
    W-W-W-Wait!
[19:39] Wig
    What is this?
[19:40] Wig
    What're they doing?
[19:42] Wig
    How can they headbang like that?
[19:45] Wig
    It's like their necks are broken!
[19:54] Sakura
    This feeling... Where have I...
[20:57] Sakura
    I knew it wouldn't work.
[21:00] Sakura
    But...
[21:03] Sakura
    I wonder what that was.
[21:14] Sakura
    Tae-chan?
[21:15] Junko
    Help!
[21:19] Ai
    What is this?
[21:21] Junko
    Somebody, please, do something!
[21:23] Lily
    I'm scared!
[21:26] Yugiri
    What's going on?
[21:27] Yugiri
    What's all the commotion?
[21:30] Saki
    That was a good nap.
[21:37] Sakura
    W-Well...
[21:41] Sakura
    G...
[21:43] Sakura
    Good morning, everyone!
SIGN    Episode 1
SIGN    Good Morning SAGA
SIGN    Zombie Land Saga
SIGN    Next Episode Preview
[23:27] Sakura
    Sakura here! Well, there you go. We're zombies.
SIGN    Dance Lessons
[23:28] Sakura
    Are we really gonna be idols, though?
[23:31] Sakura
    Since everybody's awake now,
    hopefully we can get along...
[23:34] Sakura
    Next time on episode 2 of Zombie Land Saga:
    I Love HIP HOP SAGA.
SIGN    Episode 2: I <3 HIP HOP SAGA
[23:38] Sakura
    Be sure to watch!